1I grinned as I gripped the weapon behind my back. My target was just before me, speaking with others of his species. I made my way through the crowd, toward the tall target. He was towering over the others of the fishing village. This was going to be so much fun!
I came up behind him and brought the weapon out, and jumped into the air behind him, reaching level his head. I quickly brought the toilet seat back and brought it down with all of my strength right onto the mintoaur's head with a resounding "WHACK!" The minotaur whirled around, anger filling his eyes, coloring them red. He snorted as he threw his horned head about. Insane laughter erupted from my throat as I took off, with the minotaur stampeding after me. Absolute chaos erupted as I dodged through the crowd, through the market stalls. The minotaur didn't seem to notice as he barreled through the crowds, knocking the stalls into the air, fruit and fish flying all around. I laughed insanely as I dance about as he smashed everything in sight into tiny pieces. It wasn't until I tripped and sprawled to the ground did he catch up to me. He wrapped his hands around my neck and squeezed, all the time, I was laughing. That was so much fun!
The next thing I know, I find myself in a line of people, all of them looking grim. I was just disappointed that the fun had ended so soon!
"What's going on?" I asked a woman ahead of me. She looked at me as if I was crazy (well, since I am crazy, I guess that doesn't mean very much!)
"You're dead. This is the line that will determine where are you going to go for your afterlife: Heaven or Hell."
"I'm dead?" I said incredulously. "Really? I've never been to hell before! I bet it's going to be fun!" I broke out of the line and ran forward. Giant hands grabbed me, and hoisted me into the air.
"You, Goofy, are going to hell," a deep voice said. I looked behind me and found a demon holding my shirt collar. The demon lowered me to the ground and placed a steel collar around my neck and manacles on my hands. Both of them were attached to chains leading to more down-cast people. The demon took out a whip and cracked it, signaling that the prisoners were to move forward. The people and I made our way through the cavern, going down corridors and steps until we reached the end, with a pulpit with a man sitting behind it. On he pulpit his had a large book that he made notes in. He didn't look up as he read off the names of the people in front of me, and their crimes. It wasn't until he came to my name did he actually look up to find me.
"Star Krims, also known as 'Goofy,'" the man said. "You are condemned to hell for the murder of Drake Trips, or as you knew him, Doode."
"Doode was a bad man," I said, nodding. "He made my sister, Goober, and me to sing. And he didn't share any of the money that we made for him. And he forced us to stay in the dark, and he beat us. We snapped and we killed him. We were free then."
"Yes, and your sister, Annabelle, will join you in hell when she dies too." The man nodded to the demons, who cracked their whips, and the prisoners trudged on past the pulpit and toward a portal that appeared. They each disappeared, with me following them. Once through, my eyes, nose, and ears were assaulted from everywhere. All around me was pits of fire, people being tortured or poked by pitchforks being held by the demons. The sounds of screams and crying and sobbing filled my ears. And the smell of sulfur filled my nostrils, causing me choke on it. Well, I guess this wasn't exactly what I expected. When the guards weren't looking, I slipped out of my manacles and collar, and slipped away. All around me was misery and pain. That needed to change!
I came upon a console with a whole bunch of buttons. My eyes grew wide as they swept among the huge collection of buttons. I was no longer in hell, I must have been in heaven! None of the buttons were labeled, but I didn't care. I love pushing buttons and finding out what they do. I threw my hands into the air, with my hands pointed down, like a demented Beethoven. Then with a cackle of laughter, my hands dived down and pressed all the buttons, the whole time I was singing in my high voice, "What that doo! What the doo! What the doo!"
The fires in the pits went down, almost extinguishing. The manacles that held the prisoners fell away, freeing them. They stared at their freed hands with mix of surprise and dumbfound. The demons cried out in surprise as chains came out of nowhere and wrapped themselves around their ankles and arms. The demons dropped their pitchforks as they were pulled to the walls, and were kept there. One of the freed prisoners bent down and picked up one the pitchforks. Insane cackling greeted them from above. They all looked up to find Goofy in the control box doing her insane gir impression, pushing all the buttons. Then she jumped up onto the control panel and started to do a jig, pushing the buttons with her feet.
The doors of the cages that held prisoners swung open, releasing them. The former prisoners shuffled forward uncertainly. All of the demons had been captured by the chains and were held in place, helpless. The one that had retrieved the pitchfork, Henry, strode forward and stabbed the demon that had been torturing him earlier. The demon screamed as the prongs pierced its twisted flesh, and burst into flames. Henry stared incredulously what he had done. He had just destroyed a demon! He turned to the others and jabbed the pitchfork into the air amid cheering. The others grabbed the pitchforks and raced to destroy their former tormentors.
Goofy hopped down from the control panel, satisfied with her button pushing. A free demon appeared before her, scowling down at her. She just grinned up at him and waved. The demon reached down to grab her, but she just disappeared! She reappeared amid the freed prisoners, and grabbed a pitchfork and joined them as they destroyed the demons.
The Devil was in his castle, studying a report. He frowned at the figures, not satisfied. He was about to set the report to fire when one of his demons burst into study.
"Master!" The demon said, staggering forward. It was clutching its chest, trying to keep in its guts. "The prisoners! They are freed!"
The Devil shot to his feet, disbelief clear on his face. "WHAT? HOW COULD THAT HAVE HAPPENED!"
"The one known as Goofy...she had escaped from custody, and had found her way to the control panel. She pressed all the buttons, releasing the prisoners and capturing the demons. The prisoners are now destroying the demons."
"We must capture her once again," the Devil growled. "And soon."
The demon nodded and left the study. The Devil looked back to his desk to the stack of reports. He shook his head, grabbed his cloak and left. He would take care of this little nuisance himself.
Once the demons were destroyed, the prisoners turned their attention to the castle that towered above them. They were going to take over the castle and turn this hell into a haven.
Goofy was bounding all over the place, never one place for more than three seconds. One moment she was sitting upon the rocks over looking them, the next moment she was sitting upon someone's shoulder. When she wasn't flitting about, she was dancing and twirling around. She was enjoying this immensely!
A cloud emerged from the castle. The clouds divided to become thousands, millions of demons. And at the head of the army was the Devil. His army outnumbered the freed prisoners 50 to one. They didn't stand a chance as the demons swept among them, capturing them in one fell swoop. But there was one figure that kept dancing beyond their reach, laughing crazily, having the time of her life. The Devil growled and flitted in font of Goofy, stopping her in her tracks. She gazed up at him in wonder. The Devil snarled as he reached out and plucked the crazy one from the ground. "You have caused me a great deal of trouble, Goofy." The devil said. All around them, the prisoners were being led off in chains. "It is clear that I cannot keep you here, for you will just escape. No, it is clear that I must send you back, and grant you a pardon. When you die, you will not be sent here, but you will be sent to heaven. And that will go the same for your sister." A portal appeared before them. The Devil gave a loud snarl and threw Goofy through the portal. He turned to oversee the prisoners, but had to look away. Every one of the prisoners looked at him with calculating expressions, and worse of all, hope. They would all remember the time that they were freed, had killed their torturers. The devil shivered.