Dating
Acepilot

8 - * - * - 8

After less than twenty minutes of trying to read, Chuckie decided that when he was a teacher, he would set his class every text on the list except the Shakespeare plays. They'd thank him later. Sure, the guy was a good writer – a great writer – but these were plays. They should be performed. After a time the scripts all blended in together, and he honestly couldn't remember whether Olivia was from Twelfth Night or Merchant of Venice, and such a failure, he suspected, would not reflect well in his grade.

"Hey Dad, can I borrow your card for the video shop? I need to get some Shakespeare movies," he called out.

No response came, and he realised belatedly that he didn't actually know where his father was. "Dad?"

"What was that?" his Dad finally responded, coming down the stairs and trying – and failing – to tie his tie.

Chuckie raised an eyebrow at this. His father had worn a tie nearly every day of his life up until opening the Java Lava, and surely he wasn't quite so out of practice as to be stymied by one.

"I need to rent some videos," Chuckie told him, standing up from the couch and looking his father over. He was dressed in a way that Chuckie hadn't seen in quite some time – a very nice suit, albeit without the jacket as yet, polished shoes and even his hair looked like he'd try to do something with it.

"Oh, sure," Chaz said. "What did you want to get out?"

Chuckie watched his Dad tie the tie completely wrong once again. "Oh, you know, some hardcore pornography, that kind of thing."

"Right, right. For school is it?"

Chuckie wondered if maybe this was the ideal time to ask for that new computer he'd been wanting, but decided there was such a thing as cruelty to parents after all and striding across the lounge to stand before his dad, slapping the older man's hands away from his tie. "Stop, just stop. You're going to choke yourself." He tugged the knot his dad had created loose and pulled the tie off him, wrapping it around his own neck and criss-crossing it in a manner that the man standing before him had taught him long ago. "What's up, Dad? You're acting kind of strange."

"I'm nervous," Chaz admitted. "I...I've got a date."

Chuckie looked up from the tie, letting his subconscious take over his hands as he stared at his Dad. "You've got what?"

Chaz went bright red. "Well, I was talking to this woman yesterday in the shop, and we were having a great time chatting and everything, and she had to go but she wanted to know if I was free for dinner tonight, and I realised that...well, I was free for dinner tonight." Chaz sighed. "I was going to tell you. I was just...it was a bit strange. It still is, if I'm honest with you."

Chuckie's brain was trying desperately to catch up with this course of events. "So...you're going out with a woman?"

Chaz nodded. "Yes. Is that...okay?"

Chuckie shrugged. He was aware that he probably still wasn't fully comprehending what this all meant, but his gut was telling him that it wasn't his place to interfere, so he just said, "Sure. I mean, you and Mom have been broken up for...what is it? Nine months?"

"Ten, actually," Chaz said, scratching the back of his head. "Are you sure this is going to be okay with you?"

Chuckie pulled the tie over his head and slipped it over his Dad's. He realised, with a start, that he no longer had to look up to look his Dad in the eye, and wondered when that had happened. "I'm fine, Dad. Go and have a nice dinner. And maybe leave me your video card."

8 - * - * - 8

"Am I crazy for feeling weird about this?" Chuckie asked, scanning the shelf for a copy of Hamlet. "I mean, I knew it was coming,. They split up because they were no longer happy together, so I guess it was inevitable that he'd be dating at some point."

"How did you feel when Mom started dating again?" Kimi asked from the action section. "Ah-ha! Macbeth."

"In the action section?" Chuckie asked, followed by, "I dunno. It's different, I guess."

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't have to see it so much," Phil offered, flicking through the classics. "When Dad started dating it was just something that was happening somewhere else. When Mom goes out with people, it means strange men coming to the house. And I mean strange, let me tell you."

"I'm sure Mom would appreciate your critique of her taste in men," Lil told him. "Chuckie, I think it's just one of those things that you kind of have to give time. You're never going to be one- hundred percent comfortable with the whole idea, but it does get better, trust me."

Tommy shook his head slowly, pulling a copy of an older production of Romeo and Juliet from a shelf in the Classics section. "This is a good one. I don't envy you guys at all. I can't comprehend the idea of Mom or Dad being with anyone else."

"Did you meet her?" Phil asked.

"No, they were going to meet at the restaurant," Chuckie told him.

Phil nodded. "Fair enough. We have a deal with Mom that we get to meet all her dates."

"What does she get out of that?" Kimi wondered.

Phil shrugged. "Actually, I'm not sure. The theory is that we get to meet them and then we don't hassle her about how her dates go, but in practice I don't think it ever quite works out like that. Do you meet the guys your Mom goes out with?"

"A couple. If she gets through two dates with them, then they have to come meet me before the third. So far, that's only happened twice. If they get to a fifth date, then they have to meet Chuckie, but no-ones gotten that far yet."

" Nice to be kept in the loop about these things," Chuckie muttered, before yelling, "Ha!" in triumph and pulling a copy of Hamlet from the shelf. "Got it," he said, reading the synopsis. "This can't be right. It says it's four hours long."

"Tragically, that is correct," Tommy said sadly. "If it's any comfort, it's brilliantly made."

8 - * - * - 8

Chuckie watched the screen with an increasing sense of utter bafflement, before pausing the DVD and scribbling a few notes. Anyone, he decided, who thought that Macbeth was just a pawn of his wife had clearly never actually read the play. He was one of the least sympathetic protagonists Chuckie had ever seen.

"How goes the Shakespeare?" his Dad asked, coming down the stairs and tugging on his tie yet again.

"Cruel and unusual," Chuckie told him. "Why do the teachers need me to write about this? Surely they know how it goes."

"They just like to be reminded, I guess," Chaz told him. "What do you think?"

He turned and looked at his father, who was once again dressed up quite nicely. Too nicely for a regular Saturday night. "Another date?"

Chaz shrugged. "Well, yeah, I guess."

"I thought you said you didn't think there was much there with...sorry, I've forgotten her name."

"Sandra," Chaz supplied. "And no, there wasn't much there. Which is why I'm not going out with her again. This is a different woman - she does our milk supplies at work."

"Teresa?" Chuckie asked. "I know Teresa. You're going out with Teresa?"

"Yes," Chaz told him. "I asked her if she wanted to come for drinks with me, and she said yes."

"You asked her out this time, huh?" Chuckie said, rising from the couch and walking toward the kitchen. He waved for his Dad to follow, that he wasn't walking out on their conversation. "You're becoming quite the ladies' man," he teased.

Chaz glowered. "Chuckie..."

"I'm sorry, Dad, I couldn't resist," he told him, pulling a glass down from the cupboard.

"I know it seems a bit...excessive," Chaz admitted. "I mean, I did just go on a date with one woman two weeks ago and now here I am out with another one...I guess that first date was just something I needed to get my confidence back. I mean, I haven't really done this in...well, twelve years."

Chuckie ambled over to the fridge, opening it and getting the juice bottle out. "I know, Dad. I'm not...judging you or anything."

"I know. And I don't know if this date is going to go anywhere, either. It's just something...I'm just trying to see what I want to find, I guess. Your Mom and I - Kira, that is - we fell apart ultimately because we were incompatible somehow. We got...bored, and getting bored made us unhappy. I'm not going to jump into something serious, Chuckie. This is just...dating."

"I understand," he said.

8 - * - * - 8

"I don't understand," Chuckie admitted. "I mean, I get that he's kind of testing the waters and everything, but he's 41, for crying out loud. Doesn't he know what he wants by now?"

Tommy shrugged, pushing the shopping cart along slowly. "Well, he probably thought what he wanted was your Mom, so I guess maybe he's just...unsure of himself now."

"It's just wierd," Chuckie said. "Pineapple rings?"

"No, whole pineapple," Tommy corrected him, consulting the list. "Dad says the rings just don't barbecue right."

"He's crazy," Chuckie said.

"Well, yeah, but it's his money," Tommy pointed out.

Phil's voice cut between them, calling "Incoming potato chips!" and moments later some potato chips actually did go sailing straight between them and landed in the trolley.

Tommy picked them up. "These are salt and vinegar. I asked for sour cream and chives."

"Because you're the only one who eats them," Phil pointed out. "You can't just think of yourself for this party, Tommy."

"Then why is it so tempting?" Tommy asked.

"I'm with Tommy, by the way, Chuckie," Phil said. "You've gotta give your Dad time to work out what he's looking for, or he'll just end up repeating mistakes, I guess. First few guys Mom went out with were completely wrong, but what can you do? I think the key to it was they just weren't Dad."

"You've met this Teresa woman," Tommy pointed out. "What's she like?"

"She's nice enough," Chuckie said. "I mean, she's the woman who brings us milk at the Java Lava. She listens to Pink Floyd in her milk truck."

"Well, she's got taste," Phil pointed out.

"She's going out with Chuckie's dad," Tommy said. "Of course she's got taste."

"You just think it's weird because this woman you knew in a completely different context is suddenly possessing a new meaning for you," Phil said. "Mom went out with Beaker, you know."

Tommy and Chuckie spun to face Phil with looks of shock on their faces. Tommy managed a stuttering, "What?"

Phil nodded. "It's true," he said. "Twice. They went to the movies and then for dinner. He came to the house, and it was very, very awkward. But hey. Where do you think parents meet people? Schools, where their kids go. The places they work - which happens to also be the place that you and I work, Chuckie. And their kids friends parents. That, from what I can work out, largely appears to be the social circle of the single parent. So of course they're going to date people you know."

"I guess," Chuckie groaned. "I just...it'll take some getting used to."

"Oh, no question about that," Phil agreed. "Just...give it time, I guess."

"I can do that. Probably."

8 - * - * - 8

"Hey, I'm home," Chuckie yelled into the general vicinity of the house. "You here?"

"Yes," his Dad yelled back. "What have I told you about yelling across the house?"

"Well, I don't believe it gives you the flu," Chuckie told him. "And you're doing it too."

Chaz fell silent.

Chuckie dropped his bag on the couch and strode into the kitchen, where he found his Dad stirring a cup of coffee idly and reading the paper. "You're home early," he pointed out.

"Yeah, Yvonne is running the place this afternoon," Chaz said. "I just opened."

"You doing something tonight?" Chuckie asked, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end a little.

Chaz sighed. "I have a date."

Chuckie was a little surprised. It had been three weeks since his date with Teresa, which - as he had understood it - hadn't exactly gone to plan. He was starting to think that his Dad, after two bad dates and off the back of the divorce, was settling back into being a bit gunyshy.

"Okay," Chuckie said, unsure exactly what he was feeling about it. "Not Teresa again, I take it?"

"No, someone else," Chaz said. "I've got to start getting ready, actually."

Chuckie looked at his watch. "It's four thirty."

"Is it? Oh. Well, maybe I'll wait then."

"Good call," Chuckie said.

His Dad sat there, pale and nervous, and he felt his heart go out to him. After all, he could empathise. Pale and nervous was practically his own default configuration.

"You'll be fine," he told him. "Just go and have a good time."

The colour didn't return to his Dad's face but he did at least manage a smile that looked genuine rather than terrified. "Thanks, Chuckie."

He smiled back at his Dad, slightly surprised by how much his approval seemed to help his Dad's confidence. "Of course. I think I might go around to Tommy's. I'll be back this evening - if I'm not back before you go, then...well, good luck."

"Thanks, son."

8 - * - * - 8

Chuckie was slightly surprised to be greeted by Didi Pickles at the door, instead of Dil or Tommy, who seemed to get the door every single time he knocked on it. "Oh, hi Chuckie," she said. She had a slightly sympathetic ache in her eyes that he had come to recognise over the last year: the slight sorrow she felt for him that his parents had divorced. Phil and Lil had warned him about this. "Tommy and Dil are next door, if you're looking for them."

"I am, actually," Chuckie confirmed. "Thanks, Mrs. Pickles. Good to see you."

Didi favoured him with a bright smile. Chuckie felt the need to flee. "You too, Chuckie. Remember, if there's ever anything you need, feel free to come around. You're always welcome here."

"I know," he said, stepping backwards, down off the front step. "I'll just head over and catch up with the boys," he told her.

He didn't run down the front path but he felt like he was going much faster than he should be. When he did make it to the DeVille's front door - he knew that technically it was now Betty's house and Betty was a Redman now, not a DeVille, but he couldn't think of the house as anything else beside the DeVille's place - he only knocked once before it was opened by Phil, who looked vaguely disappointed for a second but then smiled and waved him in with a broad stroke of his arm. "Welcome to the fun, Chuckie."

This seemed ominous. "What's up with you?"

Phil grinned. "Mom is on such a tight edge that she's jumping at loud sounds. Something's going on. We think she's got a date, but she's not saying anything."

"It's a good night for it, apparently," Chuckie told him, shrugging off his jacket and following Phil into the lounge room where Kimi, Lil, Tommy and Dil were sprawled on the floor playing cards. "Dad has a date, as well. I've never seen him so nervous."

"And that's saying something, considering it's Dad," Kimi pointed out, laying down a five of hearts and cackling at the dismayed look on Tommy and Dil's faces. "And that's why girls rule," she told them.

"Well, we've got six now, so Chuckie and I are going to wipe the floor with your supereme girliness," Phil told her. "Get the rest of the cards out of the box."

Kimi did as requested and cut the elevens, twelves and thirteens into the deck before shuffling and dealing again. Chuckie and Phil took their places in the circle and Chuckie allowed himself to simply go with the game for a little while, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere of being with his friends and sister. He felt a pang of guilt at that thought, knowing that he really didn't make enough time for his and Kimi's relationship these days, and that was something he was determined to correct.

"Six clubs," Tommy, sitting to Kimi's left, bid. Chuckie looked at his hand and repressed an urge to groan. He was quite aware that his poker face desperately needed some work.

"Six no trumps," Phil called. He made some complicated gesture involving his eyebrows toward Chuckie, which Chuckie thought was probably meant to be some sort of hint as to how he should bid, what with them being partners and all, but the subtleties of Phil's body language were lost on him.

They were not, apparently, lost on Lil, who slapped him on the back of the head. "You aren't allowed to communicate."

"Says you, Miss Morse Code," Phil grumbled.

"Is that what that's meant to be?" Kimi said.

"You know, we would do a lot better at this game as partners," Phil said. "These guys have no idea how to cheat."

"We tried that once," Lil pointed out. "It didn't work out well. Pass."

"Seven clubs," Dil upped his brother's bid.

"Pass," Chuckie quickly said. If Phil wanted to go no trumps, then it was his own funeral. Chuckie would just come along for the ride.

Before Kimi could bid, however, there was a whirlwind sweeping through the room in the shape of an extremely fast-moving Betty, hair in disarray, dressed in a very nice outfit but clearly not ready. "Lil, did you borrow my good hair clip?"

"No," Lil told her mother, "you left it in the medicine cabinet."

"Oh," Betty said. She paused to look at her reflection in the window and winced, before spinning around and staring at the group of teens on the floor. "Chucie. Kimi. I didn't know you were here."

"I just got here," Chuckie said. He felt like he should be apologisoing, but wasn't exactly sure what for.

"Oh. Well. Good to see you both," she said, smiling slightly too brightly, and taking off up the staris, presumably to retrieve her good hair clip.

"I think she might have just finally cracked," Lil offered when she was out of the room.

"Seems like a working hypothesis," Dil agreed. "Even alien mind control doesn't send you that loopy."

There was a knock at the door.

"Don't get that!" Betty ordered from upstairs.

Phil adopted a puzzled look. "Why? What's going on?"

"Nothing," Betty answered, clearly trying to sound perfectly innocent. "Just don't answer the door."

"You do have a date," Lil exclaimed. "I can't believe you wouldn't admit it."

"Well, you know the rules," Phil said, tucking his cards into his chest pocket and hauling himself up off the floor. "We get to meet him."

"You can meet him, of course," Betty agreed. "Just...later."

Phil laughed. "Mom, you can't just leave the poor guy standing out on the front step. I'm going to let him in."

"Phil!"

"Mom!" Phil and Lil retorted, their voices so tight it created an eery echo that sent a shiver down Chuckie's spine.

Phil crossed the lounge and pulled the door open, a broad smile on his face to greet his mother's latest suitor. Chuckie shifted himself slightly, trying to get a glimpse of the man of the hour.

His stomach froze and he felt the blood drain from his face.

"Never mind, Mom," Phil called back up to her. "It's just Chaz." He turned back to the man standing in the doorway. "Evening, Mr. Finster. Are you here to get Chuckie? I thought he said you had a - oh. God."

Chuckie shot up from his position on the floor and saw Kimi scrambling to stand as well, both of them racing to the entryway. "Dad?" Chuckie asked, as if the man standing before him might be a mirage or a case of mistaken identity.

But there was no mistake. It was, indeed, his father standing there before them, dressed in his finest, hair done as neatly as it ever got, hands clasped in front of him and grasping so hard that his fingers were turning white. "Phil. Chuckie. Kimi." He turned to his son first. "I thought you were going to Tommy and Dil's."

"They're here," he told his father. "And...so what? You weren't going to tell me that your date was with, oh, Betty?"

"I didn't want you to think it was strange," he said.

But somehow Chuckie didn't think it was that simple.

A million things zipped through Chuckie's mind in that moment. He could say any one of them, he knew, and leave his Dad wondering if this was the right thing to do.

And that would leave his Dad sitting through an already kind of awkward date, struggling to keep his mind on it, and probably wanting to leave.

"Not strange at all," Chuckie assured him. "You two go have fun."

"But if you don't have the car back by nine p.m. it's no television for the rest of the week," Kimi chimed in.

Phil giggled but hadn't released what was quickly becoming a death-grip on the door. Lil had sidled over to the foot of the stairs, at the top of which her mother appeared. Tommy and Dil seemed to be opting for simply reclining on the lounge room floor and definitely not getting involved.

"You look nice," Lil simply comments.

"Thanks," Betty accepts the compliment dryly. "Is this audience really necessary?"

"Necessary? No," Phil admits. "But hard to resist. So, what are the two of you up to this evening."

"Dinner and a movie," Betty tells him. "And I expect the dishes done before I'm home."

Phil looks torn between making a joke at this juncture and exactly how little he wants to think about the implications of his mother staying out late with somebody - and as a result lets out a quiet, "Sure," before pulling himself off the door. "Well, have fun, kids."

"Everyone is to go to their homes at a reasonable hour," Betty told them as she cut through the crowd of children to stand next to Chaz on the other side of the door.

"We could say the same to you," Phil said, slapping himself on the forehead a second later. "Sorry, I just couldn't let it go forever. Really, really sorry. Believe me."

"Oh, I do," Betty said, turning to Chaz. "Shall we?"

Chaz, colour creeping back into his face, smiled at her broadly. "Of course," he said, waving toward his car. He did open the door for her, which drew an amused glance from both Betty and the teenagers standing in the doorway, but nothing more than that.

The teens watched the car drive off into the sunset before turning to observe each other and finally trudging back into the loungeroom and resuming their original positions.

Phil was the first to speak. "I barely know where to begin with what we just witnessed."

"What? I think it's sweet," Kimi said.

"I think it's our parents going out on a date," Phil reminded her.

"Well, it makes a certain sort of sense, no?" Tommy suggested. "They've known each other forever, they've worked together for years, they're the best of friends. Hell, most married couples don't get away to that good a start."

At the mention of the word married, the Finsters and DeVilles froze.

"But you know what they say about good starts," Tommy continued to his suddenly paralysed audience.

Dil waited. "No, what do they say?" he asked at last.

Tommy looked at the faces of Phil and Lil, then to his best friend Chuckie, before finally looking down at his cards, realizing he had stepped in it rather badly as he and Dil were the only ones there not from broken homes. "Pass." He said sheepishly, dropping his cards face-down.

The rules of the game had just changed...

8 - * - * - 8

Alright, the idea for this plotline came to me while I was working on something else entirely and I've decided that I'm going to dabble in it a bit on the side. This fic was fantastically easy to write and I hope you enjoyed it. I know how the story goes and hopefully will get a few more fics set in this continuity out in the near future. Meanwhile, this fic ties into the story We (Won't) Run, which can be found in the Rugrats/Weekenders crossover section.

Writing wise, for me this last month has been something like a dream - I've written eight chapters of one story and now this, and I've never found it easier. I hope you enjoy the fruits of this little period of productivity and would like to thank Lord Malachite, as ever, for his tireless work at saving me from my worst mistakes, and for coming up with a much better ending.

Reviews, as ever, are appreciated.