Only Human
Battler is the only one who bothers to take baths and change clothes in the Meta; everyone else considers it too irrelevant. When the witches forget about that and Ronove steps in, hilarity ensues.
Knock knock knock.
"Battler-sama."
Knock knock knock.
"Battler-sama, please wake up."
I started awake with a jolt. Ronove must have heard the creaking of my bedsprings, because he said, "Beatrice-sama is waiting for you. It seems she is excited about the new game..."
"Alright, I'll be right there! Just give me a minute."
Ugh. Damn that cackling witch, starting out the day so early. I leapt to my own private bathroom, taking a quick bath and making a mental note to take a more thorough one later.
Being the only human in the Endless Witch's metaworld had its advantages... such as the aforementioned private bathroom. But it wasn't really enough to make up for the crap they put me through. And it wasn't really guaranteed privacy either: one horrible moment comes to mind when Lambdadelta suddenly appeared when I was drying off my hair, fully naked. She went off to the tea room howling with hysteric laughter and I had to be roped into continuing the game, cheeks flaming furiously.
It was also awkward, being the only human. As beings as close to immortal as possible, they didn't have to do meager, everyday human things like change clothes. I knew that, in this world, I wasn't living, but I walked and talked like the piece version of me. And so, I continue to do meager, everyday human things.
I still cared about my hygiene as much as I would anywhere else. It was annoying having to wear my formal white suit everyday, but Beato kind of made up for it, what with her overly formal Victorian gown thing. Virgilia and Ronove, too.
Pulling on my clothes, I pondered blankly about all this. Then I realized that the boxers I was holding was black patterned with cartoony, gold butterflies. I assume Ronove was the one who laid out my clothes for each day, and usually it would be plain white. I had a feeling of premonition as I put them on.
What I wasn't expecting was the door to swing open with a loud bang, announcing the entrance of none other than Beatrice with her usual trolling voice.
"Battleeeer, you incomp—"
She sputtered over the words of her greeting as she caught sight of me. Her cheeks quickly started to redden, all signs of confidence gone in a heartbeat. She turned back around to the corridor, stomped back to the tea room, yelling, "RONOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
I choked back laughter, stopping a smile. I was actually grinning! What's so funny… she just saw me in my underwear…
"Ronove~ is Battler still going to take long?"
The Endless Witch sat cross-legged in her chair facing the game board, impatient for her playmate to arrive. The demon butler, seeing how she was puffing up her cheeks, replied patiently, "Battler-sama is still preparing, Milady, you know how he is used to acting like a human.."
"But I want to start now! If he won't listen to you when you tell him to come, maybe he will listen to me?"
Maybe it was her childish suggestion that made Ronove smile like that. "I don't see why not, Milady. Go on ahead, you know where his room is."
...And the rest is history.
It didn't help so much that Battler's ass was directly facing the doorway when Beato entered, either.
He's wearing boxers bearing my symbol!
He's wearing boxers bearing my symbol!
He's wearing boxers bearing my symbol…
They're so tsundere for each other, I love it so much.