The red Corporal was sitting in his tent as usual, polishing weapons, mumbling to himself, blushing at any and all thoughts of a certain Pekoponian- all while his poor cat had to endure it, but of course she didn't mind her slightly neurotic master.
Something about this particular polishing session had turned strange though, as he set down his weapon and glanced at her with a somewhat amused expression.
"Heh. I just remembered. Today's my birthday."
She tilted her head, ears perking up, and she let out a soft meow in reply.
"Stupid things, birthdays." The Corporal continued, grumbling now. "What are they for? Just reminders of how old you are and how little you've managed to accomplish." He took to polishing again, somewhat more rough than he would usually be with his equipment. "Stupid. They're just..."
Faintly, he remembered one of his birthdays back on Keron, back when he still bothered to celebrate them. Keroro and Dororo had been there, they had even baked him a cake. Well. Dororo had baked the cake. And they had brought mostly all of it intact. Keroro had taken it upon himself to be taste-tester, and that resulted in the demise of a good half of Dororo's painstaking work.
"Pft. Yeah, some birthday." He had missed those memories sometimes though, even if Keroro had been just as selfish, if not more, when they were children.
"Knock knock!"
"Gah-" Giroro nearly fired the weapon he was cleaning, surprised at the sudden voice interrupting his musings to his cat. Embarrassed, he lowered the weapon, hating the fact that he was caught off guard, and to make things worse, it was by the Sergeant Major of all people.
"Ku...is that what I get for being polite enough to knock first? So rude!" Kululu calmly strode in, hands behind his normally hunched over back.
"You're lucky I didn't blow your head off." Giroro grunted, setting the weapon aside and crossing his arms across his chest. "Too bad, too."
"Oh Corporal, I'm flattered you'd want to induce so much pain onto me! Especially taking time out of your oh-so-busy schedule. Tell me, do you always treat your cat as your therapist?~"
"Just on Mondays." Giroro sneered with a short chuckle. "Eavesdropping isn't one of your better traits."
"I just overheard while approaching, my dear. If you wanted someone to talk to so badly, you know where my lab is, ku ku!" The yellow keronian's grin widened as he settled onto one of the crates to sit on, hands still oddly behind him.
"I trust the cat more than I do you, Kululu." Giroro smirked. "Which is why that would never happen. Now what is it you want? I thought you only came out of your lab to steal food or make everyone miserable."
"Who says I'm here for anything? You give me far too much credit! Maybe I just want to say hi." Kululu's giggles slipped through, only serving to make the Corporal more uneasy as he glanced him over.
"Then say it, and get lost."
Kululu took a deep breath in between his grinning teeth and began to drawl out the longest 'Hi' in existence, making sure to lean in especially close.
"ALRIGHT ALREADY, KNOCK IT OFF!" If there was anything that Giroro had an abundance of, it was a short temper, evident by the gun now smashed into Kululu's face.
If it were visibly obvious, the yellow keronian would have been pouting by now. "You know what your problem is?~"
"Yeah, it's at the end of my gun, and it wouldn't be a problem anymore if it got the hell out of my tent!"
"Problem? Oh no, I'm the solution, dear. You'll see soon enough. I meant the problem with today, coming to grips with your age and all."
"The fu- just shut up and get out! And what the hell are you hiding, it better not be another experiment!"
"You really suspect the worst from me at all times, don't you? It's so cute!" Kululu took a step back from him to slowly unveil the surprise in his hands. "Ta-da.~"
Giroro was poised, ready to shoot, flee, whatever he had to do to get away from probably another gun that would turn him into something humiliating- but...all that had come into view was a yellow...slightly jiggling cake?
"W-what the hell is that?"
"What do you think, silly?" Kululu tilted his head, regarding him intently. "It's a birthday cake. Since nobody else seemed to remember to make you one."
"You...wait...how did...this is wrong. There's something in there! Some kinda monster that's going to jump out and eat my face!" Giroro pointed his gun at the cake.
"Well you're welcome to shoot it, if that's what you really want. It's yours after all." Kululu replied in an uncharacteristically innocent tone, which was somehow way more horrifying.
"What's the catch?"
"Ku ku, can't I ever be nice without being accused of ulterior motivations?"
"You and the word 'nice' are like oil and water. You must think I'm really stupid!"
Kululu merely giggled as always, setting the cake down and lacing his hands behind him again. "Stupid? I'm actually leaning towards paranoid at the moment. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this cake. I just thought you'd like to have it. Happy Birthday, Corporal." Kululu's cheeks tinged in that creepy way they always seemed to, especially lately, and Giroro felt his stomach lurch as he tried to take all of this creepiness in.
Still not trusting as ever, Giroro finally just nodded awkwardly, "Er...thanks...I guess." Which seemed enough for the Sergeant Major as he perked right up, slowly sauntering out the tent without another word.
The cat pawed at the cake curiously, even leaning in to sniff at it. "...Poison, it's got to be poison." Giroro affirmed, nodding down at her. "Why would he give me a cake unless it involved me foaming at the mouth? Bastard'll probably laugh and take pictures of it!"
The cat rolled her eyes, meowing in response as usual as the Corporal just couldn't help himself, poking at the odd cake. "There's no way he'd be nice, right? No way. This stuff is probably-"
Maybe he could taste-test it, just to make sure he was right. He did not want to look foolish by being paranoid for no reason. He could just hear them now- 'Ohhh, Giroro was too afraid to try a piece of cake, what kind of soldier is he?!'
"I'm not afraid, I'm just being cautious!" But where did being cautious ever get anyone? He wanted to be right, dammit, he knew Kululu was up to no good, and this would prove it!
"I'll show you, you little jerk!" Giroro took a fistful of the cake, letting his anger once again get the best of him as he stuffed it into his mouth. His cat reached out a paw as if to stop him, but it was too late, and he sat there, the cake in his mouth and his cheeks bulging, and it wasn't at all like he had expected.
But then it had hit him, the aroma, the flavor as it slowly infiltrated every crevice of his taste buds.
The cake hadn't been poisoned.
It had been curry-fied.
Eyes watering, the Corporal screamed, fleeing from his tent as tears traveled down his stuffed cheeks, bolting towards the Hinata house to get water, relief, anything, not even aware of the hysterical laughter occurring from a nearby bush.