By rights we should never be. We should each repel the other and not occupy the same space. For I am darkness and she is light but one cannot exist without the other.

Light and Dark

All lights are dimmed and a healthy fire roars in the hearth. The scent of burning wood, expensive perfume and sex meet my nostrils. It's not an unpleasant aroma and it's one I've become accustomed to. I lie in a sea of emerald silks gazing at the petit form sharing my bed. Our limbs are entwined- an intimacy I've only allowed with her.

She may not be the first woman to occupy my bed but she will be the last and the only one I'll ever allow to spend the entire night.

Since the day I turned fifteen females have come to this room with one of two motives. Impress me enough so that I would share my power and wealth with them or take up the challenge to defrost my icy exterior. 'To tame the Beast' as some have said. It was amusing at first. That they believed that I could be that easily manipulated. I had shown them how wrong they were but only after I'd had my fill. By exposing them to only a glimpse of the darkness within, they had all fled the room in terror.

All but one.

It had taken me eight years to find her and since then we'd spent every night for the past two years together. Not that anyone knew of course. It would be too complicated if they did. She would end up getting hurt, either by me or someone else- it was inevitable.

It's funny really; causing harm has never bothered me in the past. Before her, I wouldn't spare a second thought about the pain and suffering I inflicted on others, including her kin. It still feels alien to me that I cannot cause this female pain. It is a weakness, but one I am prepared to live with.

My inability to see her suffer probably has something to do with the goodness I sense in her and have done since the start. You don't need to be observant or a genius to pick up on it.

I happen to be both.

People are drawn to her presence, wanting to surround themselves in her life-force. I had been no different. This girl enjoys life to the full and infects people with her happiness. I suppose she's even infected me a little, but only because I have allowed it. She is the one person who didn't have an ulterior motive when she came to me. She had nothing to gain but everything to lose.

She sensed the darkness in me from the start. She would have to be a fool not to and she is definitely no fool. As versed in the Dark Arts as I am, she's submerged in the light.

I've exposed her to my darkness in varying degrees from the beginning. She didn't flee like I expected someone like her to do, but handled it well and held her own. As foolish as it would be to underestimate me, to underestimate her is equally unwise. She had challenged me and I had been fascinated by her gumption.

For her, I control the beast within. It is still there wanting to be unleashed but at least it's containable.

It is ironic that she had succeeded where others had failed.

It could have gone the other way I suppose. I could have sensed her purity and sought to destroy her. But that is low even for me.

Her head rests against my naked chest, her ear above the position of my heart. I asked her once if it was her way of reassuring herself of its existence, since according to her brothers: 'a Malfoy has no heart. Never has and never will.' She'd laughed melodiously at the very idea and I'd been stunned and hypnotised by the sound. No one had ever laughed like that in my presence before her. I found that I enjoyed it and wished to hear it again. I made it my mission to draw the sound out of her as often as possible. It is almost as if she senses the lack of laughter and joy in my life and is determined to make up for it.

She does.

Her chin is tilted upwards so I can gaze at her face as she sleeps. As delicate and as beautiful as the flower she's named, she's certainly exquisite to behold. Her deep red hair cascades around us and I can't resist testing the silkiness of it between my fingers- they feel at home. Just as the weight of her body draped over mine feels as natural to me as breathing. She is a part of me. My best part.

As she slumbers, she is as gentle and warm as she is when awake. Her perfectly smooth skin is as pale as my own but that's where our similarities end. In truth she is everything I am not.

My polar opposite.

By rights we each should repel the other and be unable to occupy the same space at any given time. It's incredible that we actually fit together so perfectly.

I am ice on the outside with my lack of colouring. Shockingly white flesh, white blonde hair and pale grey eyes only a slightly different hue from the whites of my eyes. They are cold and dangerous. The only warmth my eyes ever possess is when I gaze upon her.

It doesn't get much better on the inside.

Inside, I am darkness.

Shaped by my grandfather from the moment of my birth, I was influenced by his archaic beliefs. Believing the purity of my bloodline makes me superior to everyone else, is an ingrained rule which I battle against each night. This girl's bloodline is not so pure.

He wouldn't deem her worthy.

A lineage of muggles and blood traitors. That's what my grandfather says about the Potters. I resent him for it. I would even destroy him for it if I didn't also love him.

I may be filled with darkness but I still love and can be touched by love. Lily has proven that.

It's a complicated thing love. It's what brought Lily and me together against all odds. It crept up on us slowly until it consumed us.

Personally, I no longer care about her bloodline. I wouldn't care if she was a muggle herself, with no magic in her bloodline. I would still want her. If only for the fact that what I am, she is not and vice versa. Together we balance the scales of good and bad, casting shades of grey on the world around us.

My body becomes numb in this position. I shift ever so slightly so my blood can circulate more freely. She moves with me. Despite her exhaustion, she becomes restless if she can't feel me near. I encase her in my arms and she stills with a satisfied sigh on her lips. Everything about her is soft and yielding in my arms and it always amazes me that she's here.

I shouldn't have let things get this far, I know that. She deserves more than what I can offer. I should never have given in to my curiosity. All these 'shoulds'. The word could do with being banished from my vocabulary. It is not helpful.

The first time had been a mistake, I realise that now. Not because I don't want her. I could never not want her. But because I am afraid that I have infected her with my darkness. For why else would she continue to come back?

When she comes to me, she is no longer the delicate little flower her name suggests. Nor does she behave in a manner anyone would expect her to.

Her purity should have been handled with gentleness, a gentleness I've never possessed.

There's that word should again.

Now, there is no need to be gentle once we are in this room. Neither of us want it.

Our clothing is scattered around the room; littering the floor and dangling from chandeliers. Many of the items have been ripped to threads as we tore them from our bodies in our eagerness to become one. Surely those are not the actions of someone as inheritably good as my Lily.

A wave of guilt and grief consumes me. My darkness has infected her, altering her so that she is no longer the person she used to be.

She stirs restlessly in my arms as if sensing my unease. Head lifting from my chest, her warming hazel eyes gaze from behind heavily lidded lashes directly into mine. In the light behind her eyes, I catch a glimpse of the girl she had been that first time. She had never ceased to be.

As quickly as it arrived, my grief and guilt disperses.

She is still that girl. She is still everything good and pure in this world, with a warm heart and a willingness to see the goodness in others, even when they don't see it in themselves.

Her gaze penetrates the icy orbs of my own, searching for hidden depths. She skims over the danger that lurks within my gaze of steal and smiles having found what she'd been searching for. There must be some goodness in me or why else why would she be here?

I can't see it. I've searched for it intently over the years. But then, at least I acknowledge the darkness within. I'd be a monster if I didn't. To be filled with darkness but adamant that I'm good, that's the worst kind of evil. The most dangerous kind.

She sighs, reading my thoughts all over my face and tells me I'm not evil.

I don't believe her.

If I hadn't been born that way then I'd certainly been raised that way. She knows I battle with my darkness every day.

Moving so that she straddles my hips and cups my face in her hands. My body comes alive beneath her. It always does when she gazes at me with that much adoration.

She tells me again that I'm not evil and explains that evil is a choice just like goodness is a choice. We can be born one way but live the other.

Our choices are what make the difference. If our choices are honourable and true, there is nothing more anyone can ask of us.

As the heat of desire courses through me I finally get it. I haven't infected her. She returns to me because it's a choice she's made. She senses the changes I'm making, choosing to battle my darkness when I'm with her and has responded. It is that which has her coming back.

Her goodness has not been diluted or marred by my presence.

She senses the effect the realisation has on me. Her full lips are slightly parted and curve into a seductive smile. All traces of tiredness has left her body, it is as eager and alive as mine. Knowing that, I give into the fires of desire.

I flip her so she's beneath me and she laughs with anticipation. The innocent angelic gleam in her eyes fades as we taste and explore each other. As I move within her she acts instinctively and I realise she moves to a different type of purity. We both do. We're not driven by stereotypes and labels thrust upon us by everyone including ourselves.

There is no dark and light; right and wrong; or good and evil. Things are more simplistic than that. It is purity in its most primitive form.

We feel. We do. We are.

There is no denying what either of us is, to ourselves and to each other. And yet, it doesn't matter who we are either. It's insignificant, just like oxygen is insignificant right now. We don't need it. Our desire keeps us alive, fuelling our existence.

We collapse when the last of the waves of ecstasy ripples through us. She makes a sexy little sound as she nuzzles against my body and slips into an exhausted slumber. I fight my own exhaustion and position myself so as we lay on our sides, her back is fit snugly against my chest. One arm props my head up while the other drapes around her waist.

She is such a beautiful and magnificent creature.

Lowering my lips to caress the hollow of her neck she shivers. Even in sleep there's no denying the effect I have on her. We belong together, she belongs to me. I know I should give her up. That it would be the right thing to do. But with that knowledge I accept that there's no way I'll ever let her go.

I'm far too selfish for that.

Not for the first time, I wonder what her father would say if he found out where his precious little flower spends her nights. Would he try to take her from him like her brothers would?

They would fail.

I could end their lives in a heartbeat if I so wished. They knew it. She knew it.

Hurting those she loves in order to keep her goes against the grain and she loves everyone. No one is insignificant in her eyes. If I harm even one of them it would cause her pain. To see pain in her eyes would be my undoing for she is my only weakness.

If I ever did something that terrible, it would mean choosing darkness over light and I don't think Lily would ever forgive me for it.

She would no longer be my Lily and I couldn't live with that.

Maybe that's the point. It's not what you can live with that is important, it's what you can't live without. Or maybe they are both equally important.

Resting my head on the plump feather pillows I hold her tightly to my body. Nestling my face in the luxurious blanket of her hair, I lose myself in the delicious scent of her. I will myself to be infected by her light. Hoping it will dilute the darkness, casting shades of grey within my soul. Then maybe I can work on becoming deserving of someone so pure.

If that fails I will bury my darkness deep within and continue struggle against it every day that I have her. I will be a man worthy to claim her for I am resolved to choosing light over my darkness.

She will love me all the more for that and I need the love she offers freely.

I will cherish and adore her for the rest of my days.

If time is foolish enough to take her from me first, I prey the lifetime of memories will be strong enough to contain the darkness. For if it is unleashed before I can rectify time's mistake, all my Lily cherishes in this world will be lost.

I will be lost, consumed by it.

The person I choose to be cannot exist without her. I cannot be without her. For I am darkness and she is light and one cannot exist without the other.