Disclaimers: If Suikoden 2 was mine, the story would never end because even until now I'm still hooked to it. O_o;;
A/N: It's been… what, four years!? That long since I last played this game and this fanfic idea kept screaming "WRITE ME!" And now my obsession is back! Thanks to the help of some doujinshi and fanfics, I finally got the inspiration to get this started. But since I haven't even touched the game for quite some time, please forgive errors on the details, particularly the names (of people/places etc…) ^^;;
Pairing: Jowy x Hero of course! =^_^= :: Hero is named Kenji. (that was what I named him in the game anyway. Can anyone tell me what his real name is? If he has one… ~_~;;)
Written in Kenji's POV.
Warnings: This is shounen ai and might contain yaoi in later chapters. O_o;; Don't know? Find out! Don't like? Don't read! Also, this story starts out with my version of the good ending, hence some alterations may be present. I haven't seen it yet, but I've read spoilers. So to those who don't want spoilers, skip the prologue. It's not that vital to understand the story anyway because this fic is mainly focused on how the characters move on after the war. ^_~
And lastly… (yes, I'll shut up already after this ;;) English isn't my first language, so watch out for my horrible grammar.
My… what terribly long author's notes I write. The potential readers must've fallen asleep.
Still awake? Enjoy! =^^=
Where I Belong
Prologue
A lot of things have changed. The war's over but everything isn't exactly 'back to normal'. Nothing will ever be. But at least, the tranquility that the people used to enjoy before Luca Blight came to power is back.
Everyone, especially the women and children, can now freely walk around and travel to other towns without fear of being caught and turned to slaves or kept captive in dark and stinky prisons… or worse, slaughtered. They can sleep well at night, without the tingling fear at the back of their heads that Highland soldiers might suddenly foray and burn their houses to the ground, happily killing random bodies they come across in the process.
This peace we get to relish now is something so many people joined hands together and fought for… died for. And for us who remained to see this dawn of a new era, it's our responsibility to learn from mistakes of the past and make sure history doesn't repeat itself.
But I have to admit that even after all that I've been through, it's not that easy to move on when you're the one left behind. Especially if the person who's gone happens to be the only family you have left.
The only people I've known to be my family are both gone. I've never known who my real blood relatives are. And Nanami… She died right in front of my eyes, in my arms. But even to her last breath, she never failed to remind me that we were a family tied deeper than blood. All she wanted was for me to call her to call her 'Big Sister'… even just one last time.
And since Grandpa Genkaku died a year before Jowy and I joined the Unicorn Brigade and this whole war started, now I'm all alone.
Jowy… Well, he's also part of the family I've come to know. He was my best friend and we've been together for as far back as I can remember. Those who knew us always labeled us to be the inseparable duo. So I guess I got too used to having him by my side that I couldn't accept it when he left. I still don't.
Call it blind faith, but even after all that has happened, I'm still hoping that one day we'll be together again. I won't say 'like the good old days' because like I said, nothing will ever be like it used to. But at least I just want to be with him again.
After all… he's the only one I'd ever want to share the rest of my life with. Every single moment of it…
-x-
I hate mornings. I couldn't sleep last night so I stayed in the rooftop for hours looking up at the stars, lost in my own world. I was happy to go back to my room when I first yawned, thinking that that was finally a sign of sleepiness. But then I tossed and turned in my bed yet didn't fall asleep at all. I was tempted to bang my head on the wall to knock myself out just to get some sleep but then if Shu found out he'd give me not just sleep but eternal rest.
And just when I thought I was starting to doze off, stupid rays of the sun had to wake me up. Right, remind me to replace the glass window with a brick wall next time I lack sleep.
No use trying to steal a five-more-minutes sleep now. Soon, Shu would probably come and call me for breakfast.
"Lord Kenji?" Shu's voice resounds from the other side of the door after a couple of swift knocks.
"Are you awake?"
I hate it when I'm right.
"Coming!" I might as well get up now and go down for breakfast.
I have the feeling I'll need a lot of coffee to survive today.
Leona's bar is probably the noisiest place in this entire castle. It's always bustling and full of life, with people happily chattering from all corners of the huge room. Victor and Flik are sharing the table with us, and that doesn't help lessen the deafening volume of this place at all. But I guess even this doesn't help me forget that I'm still very, very sleepy.
"Lord Kenji… are you really sure you're all right? You look rather tired." Shu asks again from across the table when I yawned for the fifth time. He's looking at me intently with an impassive expression but a glint of concern in his eyes.
"You look like you didn't get any sleep at all, kid." Victor comments from beside me, playfully putting an arm around my shoulder.
"You stayed up on the roof all night again?" Flik, who's sitting at my other side, asks so casually that it made me jump.
"How'd you know about that!?" The question sort of just burst out of my mouth.
"Heh. I see you there all the time whenever it's my turn to do patrolling at night." He tells me, oblivious to the disapproving look that appeared in Shu's usually solemn face.
Great. Now Shu'll probably tell me never to go up there again. And that's the only place where I can be alone and just think about anything.
Like Jowy…
My mind's been drifting to him a lot lately… I guess I really miss him that much. I'd give anything for us to be together again. If only I could be given the chance to see him again, be with him again. I'll…
"Lord Kenji, are you listening?" The note of mild anger in Shu's slightly raised voice and Victor's mild shaking of my shoulders startles me out of my thoughts.
"Ye… yes? You were saying?" I carelessly stammer.
He sighs disappointedly.
"I was just telling you how dangerous it is to stay at the rooftop. It's not just risky because you might fall, but also because you're still young and your resistance to illness is quite weak. You might get colds for staying up there too long."
"But… but…"
Shu raises his right hand to stop me before I can argue. "I'm not going to forbid you from going up there."
He knows me too well.
"But I'll ask you to be careful. And please go back to your room if it gets too cold, unless you're wearing something thicker than those usual clothes of yours." He adds with a fatherly smile.
"Anyway, please go and get changed after you finish your meal. The inductions ceremony will commence today at noon."
"Oh! That's right! Today we finally announce to the world who the great leader of the noble army that defeated Highland is! And he's sitting right beside me! Everyone, let's have a toast to our Lord Kenji!"
Victor- who's drunk now by the way and looking really stupid with his face all red- announces on the top of his lungs, making everyone look to the direction of our table.
"Victor… shut up…" I can feel myself shrinking in my chair and my cheeks seem to be getting warmer.
"CHEERS!" My head shoots up as soon as I hear their simultaneous cry. When I look around the room, every single mug was held up.
"Everyone…" I could feel my lips curving upwards into what may well be my very first smile since Nanami died.
With the kind of silence that engulfed the Meeting Room where we used to discuss battle tactics, no one from outside would think that the entire population living in the castle is in this single room.
"We are all gathered here today to witness the beginning of a new history. For this day, we shall pledge our loyalty to someone whom we see fit to be our next leader. He had led us to victory over our once formidable enemy, and with Highland's fall, a new era begins. From now on there will no longer be Highland or City-State. Every country is now under the rule of this person whom we will now proclaim as our leader. It would be a great honor for me to present to you this young man." Shu pauses in his speech and turns to look at me. "Ladies and gentlemen… may I present to you lord Kenji of the Orange Army!"
A loud round of applause shatters the silence when I get up. As I walk towards the podium where Shu is, from the corner of my eye I can see the people's expectant faces. But the cheerful clapping and whistling once again dies down into polite silence when Shu moves back to let me take over where he was standing.
Okay… relax. Why do I always get jittery in front of a crowd? It's not like this is the first time I've done this sort of thing but I just can't seem to get used to it. Right then… here goes nothing. Just take a deep breath and let the words slip out of my mouth. Well, no matter how jumbled they sound when they do anyway.
"I… I'm really moved that you all trust me so much. I never really knew that I could get this far. Before, all I ever worried about was, well, Jowy and Nanami…"
~ Jowy…~
"They were always the ones who had to look after me…"
~You were always there by my side…Watching over me… Taking care of me…~
"And now… I can't believe that it's me who has to do the looking after… And not just of one or two people… but so many…"
~Was I ever… able to do the same for you…?~
"I hope that I can meet your expectations… that I could really be someone that you can trust."
~Did I ever let you down…?~
"But I… I can't accept this responsibility for now…"
Shocked silence follows my statement for a moment before angry protests erupt and fill the Meeting Room. Even without looking at them I know that Victor and Flik are gaping at me. And Shu… I can almost feel the surprise written all over his face.
"Lord Kenji? Why this all of a sudden!?"
"We want you to be our leader!"
"Please, Lord Kenji!"
"Don't abandon us!"
"That's right! We won't accept anyone else to be our leader!"
The people's voices are deafening… they're throwing all these questions at me all at once that I can't find the chance to speak. How can I explain this to them? Just because of a stupid promise I'm going to leave all these people? But to me… a promise is a promise. It must be kept no matter what. I gave my word to him. I… I…
"If everyone would please calm down." Shu's voice was so loud it almost sounded like a lion's roar. Then he turns to me and looks straight into my eyes. "I do not understand any of this… Lord Kenji. Why the sudden change of heart? Would you please explain so that we can understand what's in your mind?"
"No…" My head shakes automatically. "It's not that I don't want to rule… I… I still want to."
"So what's the issue, kid?" Victor asks as he and Flik come forward from the middle of the crowd.
"I… I made a promise to someone." A promise that I know I'll never be at ease until I fulfill. "So I want to… to see him and keep my word. Besides… if I can't keep a promise to one person, I'll never be worthy of the faith that all these people put on me. I hope you understand…"
And now all I can do is keep my head down. I don't think I'll ever have the courage to face these people again after what I've said… and am about to do.
Victor stops right in front of me, no doubt to kill me. Close my eyes tightly… it'll probably lessen the coming pain.
Will it be a hard slap, punch…? Will he lift his sword and stab me or… or…
He gently lays his hand above my head. Okay, I wasn't expecting this. "Go."
"What?" When I look up to him, only then do I notice he's actually smiling.
"Victor's right…" Flik adds, also grinning at me. "Whatever it is that you feel you should do, do it. I'm sure it's very important if it's bothering you this much."
"You've done enough for us, kid. And we don't want to force you into doing this. We want you to be our leader, of course. But more than that, we'd be happier if you willingly decided to do it for us." Victor tells me as he ruffles my hair.
"I shall side with your decision, lord Kenji. Whatever it is." Shu firmly states.
"I… I do want to be your leader. But… not yet… I think I'm not ready for now. And I still have something I really need to do." It's important to me… though none of them would probably understand.
"Then go ahead. We shall await your return." Shu simply puts and gives me a reassuring smile.
And without any second thoughts, I feel myself rushing out of the castle and into that place where everything began.
I'm almost there. I'm sure of it. I can hear the sound of falling water crashing to the pool below it. Damn it… I haven't run this far- or this fast- since the war ended. Or maybe it's just because I lack sleep. Slow down and stop for a bit… Phew… I'm panting so hard. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Right then. Better get going. Just a little more… I'm almost there.
Wha…there's someone else here…
Wait a minute…
It can't be…
Is it really…
"Jowy?"
He turns to look at me, traces of exhaustion visible all over his face.
Oh Jowy…
My feet automatically take me to his side. But I'm barely a feet near him when he raises his dragon rod and points it at me.
"Face me… One on one… Let this be the last battle between the king of Highland and the leader of the alliance." He orders harshly.
"Jowy I can't… I'll never raise my weapon against you… no more… please…" I know I sound pathetic, but I'll beg on my knees if I have to. I've had enough. I… I just…
"Don't be a fool, Kenji. We both knew from the start that one of us has to die in the end. And I'm sure you realize that it's me who has to disappear. Highland has fallen. So will its king. No other person deserves to take my life than you, Kenji. As leader of the alliance and… as the friend I've betrayed." His eyes had a pained look when he said the last part.
"No… No…" Shake my head. Jowy's stubborn. But I'm more so. I could never hurt him.
"Damn it, Kenji! Don't deprive me of an honorable death!" He bellows, then his voice lowers into a softer, gentler tone. "Besides… I'd prefer to die by your hands than anyone else's… It's the least I can do to atone for everything I've put you through… For every single pain I've caused…"
"I won't do it!" And I drop my twin fangs to prove it to him. "Kill me then. If one of us has to die that badly, I'd rather be the one to give my life. I could never hurt you… Jowy."
"You're an idiot." He tells me, the coldness in his voice making me shiver.
He walks closer to me and raises his weapon, ready to strike.
My eyes are shut tight instead.
Is this it?
Is this how everything's going to end?
Jowy… Will I never see your smile again…?
All of a sudden, Jowy wraps his arms around me.
"Jowy…" And I hug him back.
Soon his hold on me loosens and he collapses to the ground, taking me down with him. I mean, face it, I'm a lot smaller (and obviously lighter) than he is.
"Jowy!" What's happening to him?
"Ke… Kenji… Give me your hand…" He pants.
"What? I don't understand…" I hold him closer.
"Give it to me, quick! I need to give you the black sword rune before something happens to me. I'm so tired… the summoning of the Beast Rune took all my energy…"
He grabs my hand but I pull it away a bit harsher than I intended to.
"No… NO! I won't take it. Don't make me repeat myself, Jowy… I won't let anything happen to you. I don't want to be ever be separated from you again! Jowy… Please… I can only take so much…" I hear myself sob.
He touches my cheek and gives me a weak smile.
"But this is the end of the line for me… I can't go any further… Kenji… Let me give you the rune before it's too late." He gently reaches for my hand again but I just hold him tighter.
"No! I… I… I won't let you go a second time!" I sound so pitiful but like hell I care. I want to be with Jowy again. Yes, I'm really that desperate.
"Kenji…"
All of a sudden, a blinding white light appears and from it the figure of a fair lady that we first encountered in the Toto shrine emerges.
"I've witnessed how strong the friendship that binds you is… You two have done well. Now, let me show you my gratitude." It's Leknaat… the one who entrusted to us our runes.
She lays her hand above Jowy's chest and a white glow engulfs him. As she chants a soft prayer, I can see that Jowy's wounds are slowly closing and in the blink of an eye, his body looks as though he was never wounded at all. After lifting her hands off Jowy, Jowy's eyes slowly flutter open.
"I wish both of you well. Now you can live the way you want. Take good care of the gift I entrusted to you. It is yours. Use it the way you deem best."
And she disappears… leaving me alone with Jowy again.
Jowy looks up at me… his gentle blue eyes fixed with mine. "Kenji…"
"Jowy…" I can feel my eyes shuddering… then a drop of warm liquid slowly falls from the corner.
"You heard her too, right? We… We can live the way we want now, right? We… We can finally be together again… Right, Jowy? Jowy?"
He sits up and pulls me into a tight hug. "Yes… We… We can really be together again."
Just like I always believed… wished… hoped we'd be. I guess wishes do come true.
"Well now… looks like we came at a very bad time to interrupt." That's Shu's voice.
Jowy and I hastily pull away. When I look behind me, I see Shu heading towards us. Victor, Flik and Doctor Huan are tailing behind him.
"Why are you all here?" My head tilts to the side curiously.
"You were in such a hurry when you left the castle that we weren't given the chance to tell you something very important." Shu stops right in front of me then motions to the others. "And it is something that all of us here are involved in. So… in case you'll get mad at what we did, we might as well let you know that we planned this together."
I don't know why… but for some reason what he said made me unconsciously step back, closer to Jowy. Jowy steps in front of me protectively.
"What is it about?" Jowy asks, looking at Shu seriously.
"I think it would be better if we show it to you… rather than tell you about it."
From Tenzan pass Shu and the others takes us back to Kyaro… to our home, Grandpa Genkaku's dojo. And before I could even ask why, Shu knocks and someone opens the door. When the figure waiting inside turns to us… I suddenly feel my whole body freeze.
I could've screamed… if only my throat wasn't too dry and my voice mysteriously disappeared and hid somewhere I couldn't find it.
I could vaguely hear Jowy's voice but for some reason I can't understand what he's saying.
For a moment I thought of running away but I can't move.
The moment the mysterious figure fixes her eyes at me, her face shines with a wide smile, but silver tears are rolling down her eyes.
"Well… what are you staring at me like that for? Give your big sister a hug!" She enthusiastically exclaims while sobbing.
And when I registered what she said, my body just moved on its own and hugged her so tight. I could feel my eyes shuddering again… and this time I just couldn't hold back my tears. They just keep flowing out of my eyes and I can't stop them even if I wanted to. I could barely breathe… overtaken by uncontrollable sobs.
I'm starting to feel weaker… my senses are suddenly failing me now.
I could faintly hear her calling out my name… then Jowy's voice… before everything turns black.
I guess this is what I get for not having enough sleep.
tbc?
=^w^= Um… I'm quite unsure of how I did in this chapter. Please let me know what you think. Suggestions on how I can improve will make this little neko very happy too. Onegaishimasu!