This was inspired by the song "Traces" by the lovely Laura Shigihara. Please give it a listen; it can be found on YouTube and on her bandcamp.
Loki held the jewelry box in his hand, looking at it dejectedly. Idiot, he thought to himself, rubbing the velvet on the cover, and then placing it into the pocket of his dress pants. Why did he even bother? It was all so futile, so wrong, and yet…He couldn't help himself.
When he first met Darcy, she didn't strike him as anything special in particular. She was Jane's assistant, hard at work scribbling notes for the aforementioned astrophysicist, and the occasional third wheel for Thor and Jane.
After Loki decided to invade Midgard and failed, Thor took him under his wing (more like SHIELD's prisoner with Thor as a parole officer), and allowed him to assimilate into Midgardian culture to Loki's disgust. He supposed he should be grateful to be allowed to live, but truthfully, he would rather die. Thanos would have come after him soon, and to be kept like a dog on a leash for the next who-knows-how-many-years, was not appealing to him at all. The matter of his bitterness towards Thor and the rest of his family was still in the air, with little resolution. While Thor tried to address it several times, Loki pushed him away each time and with no connection to Asgard, a full "family meeting" couldn't happen.
So he lived day to day, observing the mortals in their natural state that consisted of menial errands like buying food, work (he hardly considered any of their professions exciting, save for Jane, who he admitted was smarter than the average mortal), and outings with friends. And then there were the drama-filled relationships, like Steve Rogers', to whom all the Avengers were sympathetic to.
Loki never experienced any of these things, however. Food was brought to him by Thor, his job was to sit in a lonely magic-free apartment issued by SHIELD, and friends were out of the question. Not that he wanted any, and he most certainly didn't want to piggy back off of Thor's, so the notion never even struck him.
That is, until the day SHIELD decided to let him out on the condition he had to help the Avengers in saving the world. He prided himself that no other "villain" (he didn't dare compare his villain status with the pathetic attempts by mortals, however intuitive they may be) had been able to match him in terms of treacherous acts, but the Black Widow and Hawkeye couldn't always be on duty, and the same went for the Iron Man. Fury decided that help was needed, and what better than the almost all-powerful god they held captive? It took a lot of pressuring from Thor, but Fury consented, much to everyone's discomfort, including Loki's.
But he adjusted, as he did with everything. His mother often compared him to chameleon; never showing his true colors but to a few, and he adapted well to change. He supposed this was the same case. He and Thor's relationship was still at the same stage it was before; formal to the point of awkward. Things changed when he began to be invited to food-outings with the Avengers after a mission, and Tony Stark even took a few jibes at Loki, earning a smile from the God of Mischief. Loki had to admit that even though shawarma was strange, it was delicious.
Everything changed for him again when SHIELD headquarters was attacked.
Not because of the emotional disaster of being hit in their home base, but the string of events that tied forward from that day.
"THOR!" Jane screamed, clutching her notes in the form of a netbook. Their lab was collapsing in on itself since it was underground, and everyone was trying either find a way to shield themselves, or get out. Luckily, Thor came in along with Loki who quickly began to use magic to support the building to get everyone out.
"Darcy's missing—she was making copies a few minutes ago, so she's still down here. You have to find her before you leave!"
"Jane, there isn't much time. Please go to safety, I promise I will find Darcy." Something exploded from another floor, causing more rubble to shatter. Thor looked nervously to Jane, and shoved her in the direction of the rest of the crowd, awaiting transport.
"Brother, we must hurry, but Darcy is missing."
Loki threw another sphere of magic into the air. "Stark is coming soon. Leave Darcy to me." While he only had a vague idea of what Darcy looked like, it was enough to find her. His magic could sense any living bodies, anyway.
He found her collapsed next to the copy machine, presumably from the ceiling tile next near her head. Scooping her up bridal style, he turned to leave, but another bomb went off, caging him into the room. Without thinking, he transported himself to his apartment, and gently set Darcy on his bed. She would need medical assistance, but he hoped her condition wasn't fatal as he whisked himself back to Thor's side. Stark was there, air craft at the ready, loading in all the employees. Loki gave a nod to Thor, and he left to return to Darcy.
His first instinct was to bring her to a hospital, but he allowed some healing magic to flow through his hands as he placed his palm gently on her forehead and then moving to her arms and finally, her abdomen. Her breathing was normal, and the bruises faded, leaving only a small lump on her head. Loki decided he would let her rest since he could feel there was no permanent damaged, and he retired to his couch to sleep for the night.
"So, you saved me?"
Loki blinked back the remnants of sleep at the sound of the unfamiliar voice in his apartment. Rubbing his eyes and swinging his legs to the ground, he looked up to see Darcy, disheveled, but well.
"Yes, I did. Usually a thank you is in order, but I assume you are, so you're welcome." Darcy looked at him strangely, and placed her hands on her hips. Loki waved a hand and his door opened. "You can leave; I'm not holding you prisoner." He said this gently, wondering what the girl thought of him. They had run into each other a few times, but they never had an actual discussion.
"Woah, hold up." She removed her hands from her hips and held them up as she tilted her head. "You saved my life. I can at least do something for you."
Looking quizzical, he asked slowly, "Like what? I do not desire much."
"Hm. I could treat you to lunch, I guess. Though that doesn't exactly equal saving my life, it's something. If you think of another thing, you can tell me."
Loki looked at her with a vacant stare, causing her to wave her hand in front of his face. "You okay, space cadet?"
Clearing his throat, he nodded. "Are you feeling well?" He asked, looking her over.
"Yup," she replied, sitting next to him on the couch and she turned her head to take in her surroundings. "So…This is your place? For some reason I expected a torture chamber, or some goth furniture."
He shrugged. "I never gave much thought to interior design. This isn't my true home, anyway."
"You've been living here for months. What is, then?"
Opening his mouth to answer, he paused. "I don't know."
And that kick started a friendship he wasn't prepared for. After taking him out to lunch, conversation flowed much easier between them, and they now acknowledged each other at work. Although he was hesitant at first, unsure of how to act with the strange girl, Darcy was rather forward in their new friendship. She determined that one lunch did not equate to saving her life, so a string of outings began to take place to make up for it.
Loki had not realized how many different things there were in Midgard to discover. He supposed in plotting to take over the world, he neglected to do more research on mortal lives, but that was irrelevant to him at the time. Now he saw why they found amusement in an hour and a half movie, the invention called video games, and simply being.
Darcy tugged him along, giving no adherence or thought that he was a former villain, and they generally avoided sensitive topics, but basked in the comfort of each other's presence. He realized that although they came from different worlds (quite literally), they clicked in an odd way due to their conditions.
She was an outsider born of circumstance. He was, for all intents and purposes, an untouchable in society, until Nick Fury all but commanded him to join the Avengers as his punishment. Both thrown into a world of magic and science, and unable to fit in as the others.
Loki was silently pleased with this discovery and felt solidarity with Darcy as they observed from the sidelines the feats of SHIELD.
What surprised him most was that he began to look at Darcy for what she is—a woman. In his centuries of thinking that mortals were some other creature, he only had begun to come around that they were not too different than Asgardians. That didn't mean he thought them as equals; they would have eons to go for them to even reach the intelligence level of the Aesir, but their thoughts and motivations were equivalent, and for that, he had to give them some semblance of respect.
He kept his emotions to himself, however. It was dangerous to be gallivanting with him, and people already shot her strange looks when they went out together in public. He looked at her with quiet admiration, taking in the way her body filled in a dress, or her smile when she laughed at one of his pranks.
It only inflated his ego more when he caught her making eyes at him. She looked away in embarrassment, but he only chuckled and let her resume making her daily copies for Jane.
Events in copy rooms seem to have become a trend of theirs, he realized with humor and he wasn't even sure who initiated it first.
Darcy looked at him beneath her glasses as usual, as she pressed the green button, but her gaze lingered. He looked back, with a clever retort on the tip of his tongue, to tell her it was rude to stare, but it didn't come. They moved closer in a fluid motion that seemed too natural to be happening, and before he knew it, his hands were around her waist, pulling her closer as her lips devoured his.
Even though he could have been thinking of a million different things at the moment, the only thing on his mind was Darcy. Her hair, her skin, the subtle hint of perfume she always wore, and the way she was currently pressed up against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, causing him to lean her against the wall as his hand wandered at the ends of her blouse. Too soon, he cautioned himself, but his body told him otherwise as Darcy slipped her tongue into his mouth and devilishly bit his bottom lip. He smirked beneath their kisses, and let his fingers trail underneath her shirt.
"Darcy, I'm really sorry, I forgot to give you these papers and—"
They froze. Jane froze. And the room was filled with a deafening silence as Jane slammed the copy room door shut and made a beeline back to her office. Loki lowered Darcy, both with heated faces, looking side to side.
"I should, uh, probably get to those copies…" Darcy said, scurrying after the door, but he caught her hand and spun her around, forcing their eyes to meet and he leaned in to kiss her again.
"This will not be the last time," he murmured between their lips, and he finally released her with a smirk, leaving Darcy winded and redder than before. A smile then blossomed onto her features as she said, "Okay," and stumbled out.
Days with her turned into nights in a hazy bliss, and they were too caught up in romance to think about the consequences. It didn't matter to him until he admitted to himself with a sigh that perhaps he was becoming more emotionally invested than he liked to lead on. Darcy was appealing; any man to deny that must be blind, but not merely in a physical way. He craved her attention; he found his feet wandering to her office at random hours when he wasn't with the Avengers, and he delighted in the fact that he could make her day just by the simple act of flowers.
It wasn't too surprising that their next turn of the events took place in the copy room again. Except this time, she walked in on him in a rather comical situation as he observed the mortal mechanism.
"If you want a picture of your hand, you can take a picture, you know." Darcy grinned as she placed the papers into the feeder, and lifted up the hatch of Loki's machine.
"I was merely noting your technology and its limitations."
"Right," Darcy said, retrieving the papers, counting them to make sure she had the right amount. Her lips turned into a crestfallen expression, and her eyebrows furrowed in contemplation.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked, stepping closer to her, letting the copy machine only get the left side of his arm before it could leave an imprint. A half blurry picture spat out from the machine, leaving the other half black.
"I think I'm in love with you," she said quietly. "It's stupid, I know. I don't even get what this is."
"I'm yours, as you are mine," Loki replied worryingly, wondering why this declaration was upsetting Darcy. His heart beat quickened, drinking in the weight of her words and the concept as something as simple and complicated as love.
Yes, he had plenty of other lovers in the past, but they were nothing more than that. Any time he ventured for a relationship, it either ended or he was blindsided by their desire for Thor. Never in his life had he felt anything remotely close to love. He felt affection. He felt desire. But nothing blended as perfectly as the deep rooted passion and thirst he had for Darcy. Everything he is, everything he was, Darcy knew about and infallibly accepted it. It didn't mean she disregarded his former actions, but she embraced the fact, and let bygones be bygones.
So perhaps this was love; acceptance for your entirety, your views, however morally ambiguous they are, and even though they might not always agree, they coexisted with a certain level of peace that he thrived in.
Peace. He couldn't even fathom the last time he felt like that in Asgard, but after months of living in it, he wanted to hold onto it forever.
"Darcy…" He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. He kissed the top of her forehead. "I think I love you too."
Nothing gold can stay. That's what one of Darcy's favorite poets said. Loki originally scoffed at the line, saying it was for mortals since everything in Asgard was shining as it was the day it was built. But now he understood the meaning with a poisonous dread creeping up on him.
Odin apparently received the magic necessary to bring Thor and Loki home—for good. And this time there would be no "tangling in Midgardian affairs again."
"Does that mean we cannot return?" Loki asked thoughtfully, as he and Thor contemplated Odin's message in the ancient scroll. While their relationship was by no means mended, there was a level of trust and respect the brothers held for each other and both knew their current love interests were at stake.
"I believe so," Thor said, rolling up the scroll and handing it Loki. Thor's face was stoic, but his fists shook with rage, reminding Loki of the time they ventured to Jotunheim.
"When I'm king...I swear to you, brother. We will return." Thor said with determination and moved from his position.
"Where are you going?" Loki asked, placing the scroll into his pocket.
"To find Jane. Our time is limited." Thor's features softened, and Loki swore he saw his eyes water slightly. "It's best you do the same." Loki nodded, choking back whatever bitter words in his throat. Who knew how long it would be until Thor's king. A century, a millennia. Time was a foreign concept to them, but it was everything to Jane and Darcy.
When Loki returned home that evening, he wasted no time and swept Darcy off her feet and threw her onto the bed, making love with more fervor and yearning than he had in a lifetime.
They awoke the next morning in a perfect tangle of limbs, with her head framed against his bare chest. And then he told her. Of Odin's command, and that he would be leaving in the coming weeks.
She shook with fear, anger, and loss, and eventually began to cry.
It isn't fair, she told him.
I'm not worth your tears, he wanted to say, but even the god of lies couldn't fabricate something that cruel.
He held her as if she was a kite flying in the wind, and they remained in bed for the rest of the day, neither wanting to let go.
I love you, they whispered over and over again that day, as if the words themselves were a spell to allow him to remain.
But dawn turned to day, and they both begrudgingly arose and began their normal routine as best they could. Maybe if they didn't talk about it. Maybe if they pretended it didn't exist. Maybe then, it wouldn't happen.
But Darcy and Loki were too wise for such foolish games, and so were Thor and Jane. Darcy called in that morning to say she wouldn't be coming into work for the next week, only to be told she had to take the week off since Jane wouldn't be coming in either.
"Sorry, long line at the bathroom," Darcy said, slipping into her seat and flipped through the menu. Loki already knew what he was ordering, so he let his eyes drink in her in as much as possible. This was their last night.
"Mmm, lobster. Though I would hate to get this dress dirty." He gave a low chuckle to comply, and complimented her choice in attire. Dark green, low neckline, and it hugged her in all the right places.
They both decided on the steak, and ate in silence, neither one wanting to acknowledge the inevitable. Remembering the weight in his pocket, Loki drew it and placed it on the table, causing Darcy to look up from the dessert menu. A pained expression drew across her face.
"Loki…" She started, but he shushed her gently.
"It's not what you think." And he opened the velvet box, revealing a heart shaped silver locket with an emerald in the center.
"I can't deny that I want you to forget about me, Darcy. We would be much better off if this experienced was erased from our memories completely. But if I'm anything, I'm selfish." And he undid the clasp connecting the locket together to reveal a picture of each of them on each side. Darcy's mouth hung open, bleary eyed.
"You don't have to wear it; I don't want my memory haunting you, but…Know this. We," he gestured back and forth between them. "Happened. This love is real, and you've given me more happiness than I have ever experienced in my entire lifetime."
He waited for her response, and he watched her take the box and clasp the necklace around her neck. "I have something for you too," she said, rummaging through her large purse and took out a photo album. His eyebrows shot up at the picture on the cover. It was a silhouette of them after another adventure in the copy room. Darcy wanted to stick her face under, but he insisted that it was probably dangerous, so they settled for putting their faces above it. It didn't pick up enough light, but their heads were touching, and a distinct outline of them could be seen.
"I don't want you to forget either. So I made this. I figure your phone won't work in Asgard so…" She pushed it towards him. "Here. Pictures will last longer than any lifetime." A lump formed at the back of Loki's throat. She couldn't say that. She couldn't take the moment they were having and crush it with a simple sentence.
"We're leaving," Loki said, and dropped more than enough money on the table. He took the photo album and made it vanish for safekeeping, and he took Darcy's wrist as he pulled her out the restaurant to transport them back to their apartment. He wrapped his arms around her, and they fell onto the bed in a tussle.
"Loki—" Darcy started, worried that she upset him, but he shut her up with his lips. He needed to make this last. Burn this night into her memory forever.
Pulling the zipper from her dress, he laughed, noticing her attire.
"Going all out for me, darling?"
She was smiling as she worked at the buttons of his shirt. "I had to. You do have a predilection for green."
"You're wicked," he murmured into her neck and let himself come undone as their clothes fell to the floor.
They awoke to Loki's phone ringing. The caller was Thor, and he picked it up and brusquely said that he would be in Central Park soon. Darcy was rubbing the remnants of slumber from her eyes, and realization dawned on her face.
She swallowed. "I can't do this."
"Neither can I. But I have to," he replied, kissing her slowly, noticing that she still had his locket on.
"You'll keep the pictures?" She murmured, tracing her fingers along his jawline and down his shoulders.
"Forever," He promised, parting their lips because tears started falling down his cheeks. A sob shook throughout his body as Darcy wrapped her arms around his torso, allowing him to hold her for the last time.
Some angst I needed to let out before moving onto the fluff that is Forever and A Day. Thoughts?