Prompt: Rehearsing for Failure


"This will be a piece of cake," Zack claimed, ignoring the fact that they were headed into the heart of enemy territory with only six men.

Sephiroth ignored him, as it was just Zack being Zack, and the Soldier First had more brains than he occasionally sounded like, but one of the others – a newly-made Third Class who'd been looking nervous - perked up at the words. "We've got the general with us; what could go wrong?"

Sephiroth winced.

Unfortunately, Zack saw it.

"Be careful of saying those words, SOLDIER!" Zack looked aghast. "You never know what kind of disaster might follow!"

"Disaster?" The Third – Gibbons, his name was - was looking nervous once again, although anybody who knew Zack would be by now.

"Yes. You don't ever say 'what could go wrong?' because then it inevitably does!" Zack frowned. "After all, there could be a hidden army of Wutaian ninjas between us and our target. Or maybe they've trained killer chocobos to guard the compound, and we'll meet a horrible death, stomped flat by giant birds!"

The Wutaian ninjas were a possibility, although they didn't usually travel in armies, but the chocobos were stretching it, Sephiroth felt.

Zack turned to a Second Class. "Mason? What else could go wrong?"

"We could be swarmed by monkeys after our supplies," Mason said solemnly.

"A badly-aimed fire spell could awaken that dormant volcano beside the base, and rain lava and molten rock down on our heads," Roberts suggested, not looking up from the sword he was polishing.

Zack looked briefly envious of this idea.

There was certainly an advantage in placing a newcomer with an experienced team, but Sephiroth was wondering about the wisdom of letting anybody work with Zack more than once. It was possible he was contagious.

"Zombies." That was from Gabriel, a huge black man from some small village nobody had ever heard of.

"There's no such thing as zombies," Gibbons said.

"Dat's what you t'ink."

As the suggestions became more and more ridiculous, Sephiroth closed his eyes and leaned against the canvas wall of the truck. They still had at least an hour's drive to go.