hello to all. just a short one-shot i discovered while doing some computer cleaning.
There was no doubt in my mind that this had happened for a reason. This was meant to happen. I deserved it. No one man could escape punishment for the selfish life he had led. But I welcomed it. The pain that had now engulfed me, it had been too long since I had felt... anything.
So as I sat at my bar drinking my signature glass of scotch, it shocked me that my heart jumped as she walked in.
"I need to talk to you." She had said, I turned dismissing the small jump in my heart as a result of the scotch.
"Is this another misguided attempt of Humphrey to get me to feel something." I laughed, ingenuine, but there was no need for her to be burdened with my problems. She was no longer mine. She no longer had to think of me.
"I'm Pregnant" Those two words had frightened me to my very core, yet had given me happiness I had not thought possible, yet as always in my selfish 20 years of life, it was ripped away from me, by those devastating words which had come after.
"It's Louis." My heart began to beat, faster and harder than it had in a long time. She mumbled something else, I answered though I did not know what I was saying.
"That was very considerate."
"Yes...well. If I know anything about Chuck Bass, it's that fatherhood isn't part of the picture." I still looked at her. How could she not know how much I wished to be with her, to marry her, to father he children. I wanted to scream that she was wrong, that she was mine, that she belonged with me. But I no longer had any right, she was no longer mine. I had let her go. So instead I played along, the words coming out a traditional Chuck Bass response.
"You must have been very relieved when you realised you weren't carrying my offspring."
"There was a part of me that really wanted it to be yours." And then she was gone.
Just like that it all came crashing down on me. The pain. All that had happened to me came crashing down. I wish that she hadn't told me, I wish that she had stayed away. Anything was better than feeling this, the heart wrenching pain, that made me want to cry out for my mother, but she would never come. No one would, I was alone. I would always be alone. I lay on my bed the pain becoming too much to bear I allowed tears to fall. It was then that Monkey climbed onto my bed, and layed across me. Even though he was a dog at that moment he was the only companion I had, and although it did not aliviate the pain it made me feel that little bit less alone.