Death Note: Last Days
Note: Spoilers for ep. 25 of anime, Page 58 of manga.
Only L knows why Watari gives him that extra piece of cake at dinner. Age is not something that matters to L. He is not the first, nor will he be the last; his identity, his letter, is something that transcends time. As long as there is a willing child in Watari's orphanage, L will live. L is eternal, and has no need for birthdays.
But his twenty-fifth birthday is somehow special, the more so because L thinks that it might be his last. He eats the strawberry delicately, balanced between two fingers, watching Raito watch him from the corners of his eyes. L had been telling the truth when he said he was not afraid to risk his life, but he is more afraid to fail. So he rushes on recklessly now, heedless of the consequences. (L will live on, no matter what.) He is still alive, and there is still work to do.
"It's my birthday, Yagami-kun," he says suddenly, swivelling around. The chair squeaks a little, and he deliberately moves back and forth to find a more comfortable spot, to the accompaniment of more squeaks. Raito looks surprised, his mask of intent concentration dropping briefly, then he smiles. It looks sincere; L can't be sure.
"I wish you'd told me. I'd have gotten you something," Raito says, still perfectly in character with that flawless, steady smile. L can't help noticing how every other line that Raito says is a utter cliché, but then Raito's whole persona is a cliché, albeit a beloved one. L can never be sure what is real and what is contrived, but for now he plays along.
"The investigation is more important," L returns, licking the last of the whipped cream off his fingers. "I wouldn't have told you…but I think you should know." Raito has moved closer now, standing directly behind his chair, and L tilts his head back, and for a moment they lock gazes. (Raito always likes to stand close to L—even though the physical chain that had bound them is gone, it seems some spiritual embodiment of it still draws Raito to L. Or perhaps he just wants to keep his enemy closer.)
"Just me, not the others?" Raito queries, his hands resting lightly on the back of the chair. "They care about you too, L."
"Yes," L muses. And he thinks, they don't know what I know. And it's best for them not to lose hope. If Raito is really Kira… Aloud he says, "I told you before, Yagami-kun, you're the first friend I ever had. And I heard that friends share these details with each other. Am I right?"
"…Yes," Raito demurs, but L catches the fleeting look of uncertainty that flashes over Raito's features, like a ripple in a pond. He smiles to himself secretly in satisfaction. It's his life in the balance, but it still feels like a game, the best he's ever played, and he couldn't have found a worthier opponent to fence with.
"I've got a birthday wish," L says, still watching Raito carefully. "I'm sure you can guess what it is."
"Of course," Raito answers, back on firm footing once more. "There's only one thing on your mind these days. Kira this, Kira that—"
"I wish that L will catch Kira and hang him," L agrees, stressing his title slightly. He adds, slightly wistfully, "I wish that it'll be over soon."
"Don't be greedy," Raito chides, his smile widening almost playfully. He touches L's shoulder briefly, then withdraws his hand as though embarrassed. "You can't wish for everything at once."
"No, I can't," L murmurs faintly.
There's a brief pause, as though Raito realizes the meaning behind his words, and is briefly sorry. Then, "Nevertheless, Happy birthday," Raito says, and shakes his hand. The handshake is, naturally, warm and firm. "I'll get you something next year."
"Thanks, but there's no need for that," L whispers. His stare is cold and distrait. "I won't be getting you anything for your birthday next year, either."
end.