Renessme's Story

I drove as fast I could home, home was a different place now, and it made me miss Forks now more than ever. It should've taken me twelve hours to get there, but with the new car my dad got me for Christmas this year, I was able to make it there in half the time. I drove with less caution than I should've down the icy drive. I was just glad to get away from Jacob and was really excited to see my family without him being permanently attached to my hip.

As I pulled into the drive to the house, I began to get nervous; I needed to put the nightmarish thoughts in the back of my mind so that my father wouldn't be able to see what was bothering me. I also had to hide my emotions that were plain to see on my face from my overly observant mother.

As the engine died, I could hear the music coming from the house, my father was playing my lullaby, he knew I was home, but than again he knew everything. I had been away at college now for three years, and I just graduated early, which didn't surprise any of my family. They had missed my graduation because it was in Houston Texas; it was way too sunny for them there.

I was just about to open the big white double doors, when they suddenly opened before me and my mother had me in her arms before I could even say anything. "I've missed you so much Renessmie. Oh how I've missed you." If she could've cried I know she would have. As she let me go, I smiled up at her and the music stopped playing in an instant and my father had me in his arms now. "How did you like your present?" He smiled down at me and I couldn't help but put my hands on his face to let him know how the car handled. "I'm glad you like it" he chuckled as he let me go, and I entered the house that wasn't all that familiar to me.

My parents now lived in Pennsylvania, one place I never thought they would be because of the sunlight, but during the summer months they travel a lot. It was hard for them when I finally decided to go off to college, and it was even harder for them when Jacob came with me. But, I couldn't think about him right now, couldn't risk my father finding out what happened between us.

My father zoomed out the door to get the bags that I had left out in the car, and my mother led me inside. "I'm sorry sweetie, I told them not to do this."

"Do what?" before she could answer my question she walked me to the back of the house and opened the doors to the back yard. "SURPRISE!" every one of my family members shouted at me from every direction. There were balloons everywhere with the words "Congratulations" written on them, and flowers scattered everywhere in my parent's large back yard. Alice was smiling ear to ear as she approached me. No doubt it was her idea to throw me a coming home party. I didn't mind parties as much as my mother did, but it still felt like a little too much when Alice threw a party.

Behind my Uncle Emmett was a huge table full of silver wrapped presents, like the car wasn't a good enough present. I was used to this now though, my father gave me anything I really wanted, and when it came to clothes Alice and Rosalie bought me everything, and by everything I mean everything. I had an outfit for every day for the next five years.

"Wow, you guys really didn't have to" was all I could say, as I blushed a little.

"Welcome home sweetie", my grandmother Esme wrapped me in her arms and kissed my forehead, with grandpa Carlisle standing beside her. I was happy to see that everyone that I loved was there. My father was back as my side and led me to a long picnic table covered in a silk table cloth; we sat down while everyone gathered around us. "So how's our college graduate doing? How are you liking school?" My uncle Jasper was at my shoulder obviously noticing my happiness, but also the tension I felt from keeping my mind from wondering. He probably thought it was from getting to see everyone again.

"School was great I guess it's just that I feel a little different than everyone else." I said sheepishly. "Well you are different dear." Rosalie spoke up.

"I know", I looked down. "It's just that I feel like they look at me strange because I don't have a hard time grasping the information, I don't have enough school work to keep myself busy".

"Well good thing Jacob was with you down there to keep you company than" my mother stated, trying to look at the bright side like usual. I looked down again, don't think about him. I told myself. My father moved from my mother's face to mine in an instant. "Is something wrong?" He whispered. No, I'll be fine; I'll talk to you about it later. I didn't want to start the conversation now in front of everyone. Out of everyone in my family I didn't want my mother to know about what happened between Jacob and I. She loved him like he was part of the family, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. My father would be the best person to talk to, even if it meant him running to Texas and ripping a werewolf's throat out. He glanced at me again with weary eyes.

We sat around talking about hunting trips that Emmett and Jasper had taken, shopping trips Alice and Rosalie had taken, and what subjects I liked and hated at school. Finally it was getting late and I started to yawn. "I'm sorry sweetie, we always forget that you need to sleep, I'll show you to your room" My mom stood up and started for the door, but my dad was right beside her. "I can show her Bells, you can go hunting with Alice and Rose, and I know you haven't been out of for awhile."

I saw her give him a glance that was filled with confusion and than turned to me, "I'll see you in the morning sweetie" she kissed my cheek and ran towards the woods. My father Edward and I walked to the staircase in silence, surely waiting for everyone to be out of ear shot. We walked at a human pace up to a green door, he opened it for me. Inside everything was very bright, the walls were yellow, a lime green bed spread laid on top of a king size mattress. Dozens of feather pillows scattered the bed, and there was another large door beside the bed, leading to a closet I was sure of it. My suitcases were already sitting by the foot of the large bed.

"Dad..." I trailed off not sure how to start.

"You can tell me anything Nessie." He said obviously knowing that I wasn't happy and he did everything in his power to make me happy.

"I want to show you something, but you have to promise not to do anything harsh." I walked slowly to the bed and held my hands out for him. He knelt beside me, "I promise" was all he said before he laid his cheek into one of my hands. The nightmarish memory came blazing into my mind. No, Jacob, Don't! No of course I love you, but No! I can't do that. I have my reasons. I don't care how long it's been for us! No! Get your hands off of me. The memory faded with my endless sobs as Jacob stormed from the room.

My hands fell to the bed, I was crying again. I hated thinking about that day, and of all people to share that memory with but my father. I was embarrassed, and scared.

He took his hand to my chin and lifted my face so that my eyes met his. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm proud of you Nessie. That mutt better not show his face around here or I'll ripe it off." I could tell he was angry and I didn't expect any different. But I was surprised when he said he was proud of me. "You're proud?" tears still streaked my face, and he gently brushed them away.

"Yes, you stood up for yourself, you didn't let him take advantage of you, I wish you wouldn't done some damage to him, but other than that…" He trailed off obviously trying to not think of it anymore than I had to. "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Do I get a choice with all this imprinting stuff? I mean it's just so unfair that from the moment I was conceived I have been around a person that was "meant" to be my soul mate. I love Jacob, but not the way he loves me dad." I couldn't look him in the face as I spoke.

"Ness, you have a choice, even if Jacob makes you think you don't. You can always say no to him, you don't have to do anything you don't want to." I wasn't sure if he was talking about a lifetime of Jacob as my soul mate or just sex.

"Dad, it's not just intimately," I managed to choke the words from my throat. "It's everything; I'm not in love with Jacob Black!" I couldn't help but notice a sign of relief printed on his face. "This is just going to kill him!" I jumped off the bed, and paced the floor. I didn't have to explain my thoughts; I knew my father would be reading them.

My own mother tried to let Jacob down in the past, but was always drawn back to feeling sorry for him and allowing him to hope. That wasn't going to be me this time. No! I was going to stand up to Jacob Black, and let him know that I wasn't going to spend the rest of eternity with him. I had to be harsh or he would just come running back, trying again and again.

"I think you might want to talk to your mother about all this." My father finally stopped my pacing by putting his hands on my shoulders. "I know it will be hard for her to watch him lose you, but it would be even harder for her to watch you make the mistake she almost did make." He hugged me and than left me to my room. As bright as the colors were I felt like I was left in the dark, unsure how my life got so black.