Title: You and Me
Email: xhiiro_yuix (at) yahoo (dot) com
Rating: PG13/T
Note: Shounen ai/boy love. Mhmn. I like writing this stuff. xD If you don't like it, don't read it. This is written in first-person, from the perspective of our favorite blond Gundam pilot (what do you mean only one of them is blond? Can't you tell, they're all blond! ...kidding, kidding... xD -gestures dismissively-) as he struggles to find himself. I'm working with a basic plot... and I hope it makes sense. I actually started writing this on a whim. Possible ooc;;, I will do my best to stay ic;; though. But, keep in mind, you may not see eye-to-eye with how I view certain characters. I have reasons for why I write the boys the way I do... Questions? Feel free to ask.
Pairing: TrowaxQuatre / 3x4 ...however you prefer. It's all the same xD
It's rather ridiculous, this constant swirling of thought and emotion. I'm not sure what to make of it, in all honesty. I don't think I've been more confused in my life as I am now... In fact, most of the decisions I've made have always seemed so easy, so obvious. Because... the outcome was clear to me in my mind's eye. I had a clear view of what would happen. I mean, sure, I was never one hundred percent... and I knew that. But I had a fairly good idea of the possibilities and I made my judgments from there.
Not to say all of my decisions were the easiest to make... not at the time. But, looking back and comparing them to now, I had it easy. Becoming a Gundam pilot? Possibly one of the most obvious choices I made in my life. I do admit, a little part of me made that decision because I knew Father was completely against it... but most of me did it because I felt like I could make a difference and I wanted to do all I could. I, the only son in the Winner family, stood up to the plate because I didn't see anyone else willing to take on the burden. I did it because I had friends... family I wanted to protect. And, also... I wanted to be somebody I could be proud of. I wanted to be strong; I was tired of the weakling I was.
That choice was simple. And I made it on a whim. No second thoughts.
I wish I could make this decision like that. I wish I knew what it was I wanted, for myself. For once, I needed to make a decision just for me, my happiness. And I was torn. I couldn't. Can't. I'm stuck.
Sure, others may look at me and think, "Oh, he'll do just fine. He had a normal life before, how hard could it be to return to that life?" But... they don't understand. When I became a Gundam pilot, I had given up that life completely. I may have returned to it now and may appear to be fine with it, but... it doesn't feel right.
It's times like these when I realize... I was never meant to work in an office.
I hate paperwork. I hate sitting for long periods of time. I hate secretaries. I hate office computers. I hate desks. I hate break-room coffee. I. Hate. Office. Buildings.
I can honestly say that I can't stand it. I'm a pretty amiable and passive guy, generally speaking, but there are things even I can't bear to stand. I may have a good grasp on politics and others say I'm good with people... but that does not mean to say that I enjoy working behind a desk with ever-growing mountains of paperwork. The thought makes me cringe. I miss the more active life of a Gundam pilot.
So... with that in mind... where did I fit? Sure, there are many things a guy like me could do -- I've discovered that much -- but what did I want to do? Where did I feel at home? Where did I belong?
"...ner? Hey, Mr. Winner?"
A soft voice broke through my thoughts as I sat in my office chair, reclining back in my seat with my hands clasped behind my head. "Wha?" Instantly, I sat up straight, lurching forward slightly as I did so. "What is it?"
"...I... I have more paperwork for you sir..." A small young woman peeked through my office door and looked at me shyly; it was her first day on the job, hired only a few days prior. I furrowed my brows slightly at her obvious insecurity before giving her a gentle, reassuring smile... despite wanting nothing more than to scream and scatter the contents of my desk all over my large office space. More paperwork, just what I needed. At this rate, I was going to bust an artery.
"Ah... thank you. What was your name again? Meagan?" I asked and she nodded, her wavy black hair falling over her shoulder as she did so. "Good. Would you please set it over there, in that basket? That's where everything coming in goes. The basket on the opposite end," I directed with a point of my finger, "is all the paperwork going out. You might as well take the pile there with you when you go."
"Um... Of course. Thank you, sir," Meagan said with a quick bow before hurrying over to set the paperwork she had come in with down in the basket I had indicated her to. She then gave me a shaky smile before grabbing the other pile.
"Please, just call me Quatre. And you don't have to be so nervous, I don't bite," I said with a smile.
"O-oh! O-of course!" she said hastily clutching the paper to her chest. "My apologies... um... Quatre..."
This was one of the reasons why I didn't like working in the office. It seemed as though so many people were... intimidated by me. Quatre Raberba Winner, previous Gundam pilot and rich only son to the widely known, once-respected owner of the Winner Foundation from L4 colony. It was too big for the general public to swallow, I suppose. Yet... I never portrayed myself to be the least bit... intimidating... right? It seemed as though it were a crime to be either of those two things.
What really upsets me, though, are those daring enough to speak ill of my father. "Once-respected" is all too fitting a word, for Father's name isn't quite so respectable anymore... even if the evidence on the incident that took Father's life shines in his favor. People were people. They believed what they wanted to believe... and I long-since realized that I would have to deal with it. While I would never allow it to deter me from doing what I felt needed to be done, that didn't mean I had to like it. Even so, I continue to force myself to set those feelings behind me so that I may be able to concentrate on things from a logical standpoint.
Meagan quickly left my office and I sighed, standing up from my chair in order to stretch. It was then, at that very moment, that a familiar face slipped in through my door. At the sight of the familiar Chinese teen, I froze in surprise and blinked.
"...Wufei..." was all I managed.
With a small fleeting smile, the Chinese lifted a hand in light greeting. "Hey Quatre," he said as he shut the door behind himself, shooting a swift glance behind him. "I came to ask you something."
I blinked a couple more times and ran a hand through my blond hair. "Well, shoot. You know you can ask me anything," I said.
"Good." He came closer, stopping a couple of paces from my desk and casually crossed his arms over his chest. "You've heard of the Preventers, correct?" he asked.
The name struck as familiar... and I paused to think a moment before it hit me. "Well, of course. That's the organization Lady Une had started prior to the Mariemaia incident. We worked with the Preventers in order to neutralize the threat Mariemaia posed," I replied. It shouldn't have taken me as long as it did to recall... I blamed the mountains of paperwork. The workload really must have fried my brain.
"Right," Wufei said with a small nod. "I was wondering if you'd be interested in joining." His coal black eyes swept over my office as I stood in brief surprise.
"W... Well..." I blinked and lightly shook my head in disbelief. Join the Preventers...? Really? I had never... considered it before. I stood in dumbfounded silence for several moments, and Wufei just stood there patiently waiting as the gears turned in my head. Considering. Debating... before slowly, I began to feel, right in my gut, that this was the start of something much better. It wasn't everything... but it was a small piece. "...I couldn't rightly say no, now could I? When do I start?"
Wufei smirked, apparently satisfied with my answer. "Now," he said. "Shall we?"
I couldn't help a grin as Wufei turned to head for the door, quickly grabbing my cell phone off my desk as I made to follow. This was definitely one of the answers I needed... but I still desperately searched my mind for the other, larger, missing piece.
And that's when my mind wandered, once again as it always seemed to whenever I let it, to Trowa. I wonder... what has he been up to?
Note: Mm, yeah, just so you know... Heero / Hiiro is my favorite character. xD I love Quatre, but no one is better in my book than Hii-chan. lol And please leave me a comment if you read this! Good, honest feedback is all I ask for.
Edit! You got it, I just went ahead and edited the prologue to my PoV! And, also, I finally came up with a title. "You and Me" seemed pretty fitting. Heh, kudos to whoever can guess where I got the title -.- Not that it's difficult. I wouldn't think. xD;;
Edit 2: Lookit that, slight changes! -snort- SHE LIVES?! Yes. I live. Barely, but I do. And I still plan on finishing this! Eventually... But, poor poor Lynny has a life and cannot afford to spend much time to this. Or maybe it's just that I have a block on this one. xD [It's really the former. I could make time if I really wanted...]