Ok. My boyfriend is so sweet. He knows I love Japan and anime and stuff so he really went all out this Christmas (our first Christmas being a couple). He got me Japanese Kiwi gummies and a CalmLavender & Mint candle made from Soy in China. He's so sweet. Lolz, well, this story actually has a dedication: yaven. BECAUSE me and yaven are supposedly going to co-edit each other on a story she's going to publish. Kudos yaven, and thank you (feels very honored). ARIGATO! PS, I have no clue about Japanese military. Hence, Japanese military in this story is American. Sorry for any offenses.

There he was. Fidgeting with his jacket buttons. Golden buttons. Buttons on a dark green jacket. A jacket that coexisted with pants to make a uniform. A uniform that meant a variety of things. For one, it meant he was definitely an honorable human being. Second, it meant he was putting his life on the line to serve his country. And lastly, it meant he was leaving me.

Misaki had just joined the army.

"Wow," Misaki stated excitedly, "this is great! I mean, I'm so proud of myself, no doubt nii-san is proud too." His voice dropped an octave, "But he didn't really like the idea in the beginning."

"As do I," I stated blankly and angrily. Misaki looked up at me once he was finished buttoning the jacket. He gave me a long stare, he was trying to see if I really felt the way I did. Which I did. I loved Misaki and now he was leaving me. I really couldn't give much of a care to soldiers. People mourn over them when it was their idea to get caught up in the drama. Yes. Drama. I didn't like the idea one bit. Of course we needed an army for America, but couldn't we have one without Misaki? I didn't tell him, he'd just go on and on about how if we didn't have brave soldiers we would all be vulnerable to other countries.

"You're not happy for me at all?" Misaki asked quietly, his glance falling away from mine. I bit my lip. Why did he have to look so cute when he was distressed?

"It's not that I'm not happy for you, but what if you get hurt?"

"There are medical specialists."

"What if you go hungry?"

"Live off what life gives you."

"What if you die?" Misaki froze. Had he never considered that fact that maybe in mid-combat he'd die a perilous and unnamed death?

"Too late to back out now," Misaki whispered tapping the beret on his head. This was very much the Misaki I knew and loved. This was without a doubt the one person in the world who I'd give up my life for. This was Misaki. And nothing could change even that. Nothing would change his sweet and happy being. Nothing would change his aware and apologetic sense of nature. And nothing would change the love that he denies to express between us. Not even a war can break through that.

I walked over to Misaki and wrapped my arms around him. I smelt the new uniform overtake his scent, leaving him smelling like new fabric. It wasn't the best scent in the world, but I'd remember it. And when that boy comes back home to me he'll have a new scent. I'll just keep in memory the last smell that he'd ever given off.

"I love you, Misaki," I whispered gently into his ear. I felt Misaki's body loosen in my grip. His hands fled to my arm and he tugged on my shirt. It was definitely too late to back out now... but I wish there was still time for him to see what it was going to do...

Yeah. Pretty much thought of this when two veterans came into our class the other day. So, I'm sort of adding a bit of How I Live Now with the whole emotionally disasterated (disasterated is not a word I know) part next time. YES! I'm going to tell you people about what happens after Misaki comes back. Prepare to be afraid of his unsettling character. THOSE ARE ALL THE HINTS IM GIVIN!

Love,Esther