So I was watching Bad Teacher the other day and wondered what the movie Bad Teacher would be like with the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer in it. And then I started thinking about what it would be like if they all taught at a school like I go to (and trust me, my school-teachers included-is really fucked up. Seriously. You have no idea the shit that goes on at my school.). And then this fic was born!

So, here's the thing. I'm stuck in a bit of a rut with my other fic that I'm working on, and I always find it easier to find new ideas for a story when I start working on another one, just for fun. So this is my just for fun fic! I can't say how often this will be updated, but I'll try my best to update often. If you find anything that isn't correct, just pm me or tell me in a review. I'm up to season four of Buffy (I'm watching all the episodes online currently) and if you find anything that isn't correct, or can be changed, just tell me. I'm human. I make mistakes…sometimes lol. I'm not sure how long each chapter will be. I try for at least a thousand words per chapter, but sometimes I go over that, and sometimes I'm just a little bit under. Also, this really probably won't have much a plot. Probably will just be random shenanigans and situations that amuse me, with perhaps just a little plot thrown in.

Summary (or premise…which ever you'd prefer): Welcome to Sunnydale Public High School, where the students are bad and the teachers are worse. Buffy Summers is the guidance counselor who really fucking hates her job (and the history teacher…her cheating ex-fiance Liam 'Angel' O'Connor), Giles is the enthusiastic about his job librarian, Xander the gym teacher, Willow the lesbian computer's teacher, Tara (Willow's lover) the algebra/calc/trig teacher, Anya the incredibly blunt and sexual health/life skills (home economics) teacher, and William 'Spike' Pratt…the new, hot English (as in from England), English teacher, who's got his eye on Buffy, and knows she's secretly eye fucking-I mean, got her eye on him too. And don't forget about Faith, the slutty biology teacher. In addition to a multitude of other characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, what trouble will these teachers get into? Smoking confiscated weed in the staff room? Hot, angry sex on the teacher's desk? Drunken rants in the middle of class? Oh my…Follow them throughout the school year and see what happens.

Rated M for use of drugs (nothing hard…just some good ol' Mary-Jane…not that I do that…seriously, I don't. My friends do and sometimes I'm with them when they do it, but I don't.) and alcohol, some sexual situations (nothing too explicit…I'm not quite comfortable writing sex scenes). Also rated M for very strong language.

First Day of School

"But Ms. Summers, we were so totally and completely in love with each other, I can't understand why he would break up with me! Is there something wrong with me? Is it something I did?"

Buffy Summers resisted the urge to bang her head repeatedly on her desk as she stared at the crying teenage girl in front of her. The girl-her name, what was her name? She'd said it earlier-had been sobbing to her all about her and her boyfriend's break-up for the last half hour. Buffy had tried to listen as much as she could-after all, she did know something about nasty break-ups.

"Listen, Miss…" Buffy trailed off and the girl looked at her.

"Kendall. Harmony Kendall." The girl-Harmony-sniffed out.

"Listen Harmony. Guys are jerks. Sometimes they do things that make absolutely no sense to us, like breaking up with you, or leaving you for sluts with fake, abnormally large breasts, who put their make-up on with a paint brush, dress like a prostitute, and have the personality of a dead opossum." Harmony looked a bit taken aback by her rant. Buffy inhaled sharply, thinking of her former fiancé and coworker, Angel. Stupid fucking bastard. She shook her head. "I can't explain why he broke up with you, but I'm sure you'll be better for it in the long run."

"You think so?" Harmony sniffed.

"Yes, I do." Just like she was better off without having Angel as her stupid fucking cheating asshole husband. No matter how much it hurt right now, knowing that he was going home every night-to the apartment that they had lived in together before she had found out he was cheating on her-and fucking that whore Darla in what was formally their bed. God, how she hated that dumb cunt!

"Okay." Harmony exhaled, and wiped her red-rimmed eyes. "Thanks for listening, Ms. Summers."

"It's my job." Buffy said with a tight smile. She grabbed the pad of little blue passes and quickly scribbled it in. She ripped it off and handed it to Harmony. "Here's a pass for your class. Mr. Pratt, English III, right?"

"Yep." Harmony smiled a little bit at the blue pass. "That Mr. Pratt-he's sure something isn't he?"

"He sure is." Buffy agreed. If by something, she meant totally fucking, mouth wateringly hot, and ridiculously sexy, then yes, he sure was something. Buffy felt a twinge of lust as she thought of the English (literally, English. He had just moved here from England this summer.) teacher. But she pushed it back. She wasn't going to get involved with any member of the staff this year. She had learned her lesson in that area last year. "Now go to class."

"Okay." Harmony stood up. "Thanks Ms. Summers. I'll come by whenever if I ever need to talk to someone about my problems again." She walked out of Buffy's office, shutting the door behind her.

Buffy dropped her head down on her desk. "Fuck. My. Life." She moaned. God, how she hated this job. I need a drink, she thought miserably, and resisted the urge to take a sip from the bottle of vodka she kept hidden in the false bottom of her desk.

How many days until school got out again?

{Page Break}

William 'Spike' Pratt stared at the classroom full of morons in front of him. They stared back at him blankly, disinterestedly. Dear God. Why had he become a teacher again?

He'd thought he'd done it for all the right reasons. Shorter hours. Summers off. No accountability*. He'd forgotten that there was actually work involved with it.

Oh well. Time to man up.

"So, welcome to English III." He began, leaning back on the edge of his desk. "I'm your teacher, Mr. Pratt. 'An I'm English too, if you haven't already noticed."

Blank stares continued to stare back at him. Spike sighed and thought about how badly he needed a drink.

How long until school got out?

Review please! The next chapter should be up…sometime within the next week or so, possibly later. I have three softball games this week, two of them are double headers, so I don't know if I'll have time this week. So maybe next weekend would be better.

XOXO Ruthless;-)