Kim carefully locked the door of her apartment and leaned against it. She felt an empty space inside, a vague ache that wouldn't go away, a sense of loss. Looking around she almost expected, almost wished she heard the words next. "Hey Darlin' – how was your day?" Instead there was silence, a silence that echoed through to her soul.

Her mind kept trying to reconcile these feelings. She was moving on. Sean was sweet and caring and she needed to forget about Adam. Adam...who could ignite her passions with the twitch of an eyebrow, the tilt of his head, a crooked grin. But that was dangerous, so dangerous and with Sean there's no chance of that. Sean did not awaken those feelings in her and that was good, right? She felt safe...safe from those tumultuous emotions that sent her to the moon and back. She didn't want to experience those ever again – only to lose them. The pain of loss was too much.

But was she being fair to Sean? The man wasn't stupid. It wouldn't take him long to figure out that when he kissed her, she wasn't really kissing him back. Not the way she should be if this was the beginning of a relationship. And she couldn't even think about sleeping with him.

Kim sighed and threw herself down on the sofa. She felt so out of control with Adam. Besides he didn't really want to marry her. He failed the push test. That means...what? It has to mean he doesn't really want to commit, doesn't want to marry her, doesn't love her enough. Kim didn't even realize she was crying until she felt the wetness of her tears falling onto her blouse. She buried her face in her hands sobbing quietly. "I wish I didn't miss you so much."

She almost didn't hear the soft knock on her door and when she did, almost debated against answering it. Swiping her tears away roughly, she looked through the security peephole to see her mom. Diana Burgess, a shorter version of Kim, looking young enough to be her sister, standing on her doorstep holding a bottle of Baileys, a box of Godiva chocolates and a bouquet of tulips, her favorite flower. Hastily she opened the door

"Mom!"

"Hi honey."

"What are you doing here?"

"Hmm...can't a mother visit her favorite daughter? Besides Kim, you look like you need a little cheering up and hopefully I can make you feel better with a little booze, some chocolate and me." Her mischevious but sympathetic demeanor put Kim over the edge once again.

"Oh Mom!" She sobbed. "I'm so miserable. I miss Adam and I shouldn't. He doesn't want me and Sean does, but I don't think I want him. I should but I don't. I still want Adam and that makes me such a loser. Who wants the man who doesn't want her?"

Quickly releasing what was in her arms, she pulled Kim close, murmurring softly to comfort her. "Come sit down sweetheart. What makes you think Adam doesn't want you? From everything you've told me about him, that doesn't seem possible."

"He failed the test, mom. Failed! What am I supposed to do except let him go?"

Puzzled Diana smoothed Kim's hair away from her face, a look of concern clearly apparent after listening to her daughter's disjointed reasoning. "Kim, take a deep breath. I'm going to get us a drink and you can start from the beginning because honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Great!" Kim thought to herself. She reached for a tissue, wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "Now my mom thinks I'm crazy. That's just great."

Before Kim could dwell on her latest perceived short coming, Diana was tucking her feet under her as she sat on the sofa and handed a glass to her daughter. Tapping their glasses together gently, she smiled and gave her toast. "Here's to chocolate. It never disappoints!"

"Oh mom...I'm such a mess." Try as she might, she couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

"Come on honey, take a sip, sit back and take a deep breath. Then talk to me. Nothing is so awful that it can't be fixed. Let me help you."

Kim did as she was told and slowly felt just a little better – just to have her mom there was comforting and gave her hope that her mess was not as hopeless as she thought. She swallowed, feeling the drink warm her insides, allowing the tension to seep out just a bit.

"Mom, he failed the push test." Her eyes were filled with anguish as she repeated that statement and her mother's eyes were still bewildered.

"I don't know what a push test is Kim but it's obviously something you feel is a dealbreaker. Please explain this to me."

"For a long time I felt that Adam was having seconds thoughts about us. He cancelled the dinner to meet you and I couldn't get him to commit to anything to do with the wedding. Then one day I was talking to Sean while we were out on patrol and he told me to ask him to push the wedding. If he agreed to do that, then he wasn't serious about marrying me."

For a few seconds Diane could only stare at her daughter. She was clearly at a loss for words and she knew that what she said next would be important. She hated to see her in pain when it was so unnecessary. She reached over and took Kim's hand, squeezing gently.

"Honey, please don't take this the wrong way but that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in my life. First of all, this is the same Sean you're dating now?" At her nod she continued... "the same Sean who was arguing with his ex while he let my daughter get shot, the same Sean who seems to target his partners for a relationship no matter what?"

"Mom! Sean was looking out for me and what do you know about his partners?"

"I know you like him Kim and while he may be a good partner, I don't think he was looking out for you. He was looking out for himself. I asked some questions, discreetly mind you and this was his reputation at his old precinct."

"But then why did Adam agree to push the wedding? Why didn't he tell me he wanted to get married as soon as possible? Why didn't he fight for me? He didn't even seem upset that I asked him to postpone things."

"Oh sweetheart, did you even give him a chance to fight for you?"

Kim lowered her eyes, guilt overcoming her certainty and anger. "No, I wouldn't even talk to him."

Diane sighed and reached over to take the glass from her daughter. She grasped both of her hands before beginning to speak. "Kim look at me. Do you know what I see? I see someone who is afraid to take a chance. Granted this is a big one, but honey, there are no guarantees. Things don't always work out but don't throw away happiness on the off chance it might not work out. If you don't try to fix this with Adam you're going to regret it for the rest of your life."

Kim's voice was a mere whisper as tears tracked down her cheeks. "What if he doesn't want me anymore? What if I hurt him so much that he's glad I'm gone?"

Diane could see she wasn't getting anywhere so she changed tactics. "OK, so let's say you're right. Sitting here in a puddle of tears isn't going to do you any good. You can't keep second guessing yourself – you need a break. So...get yourself up, wash your face and put some make-up on. I'm taking you out...no, don't argue, just do as I say. Wear that red sparkly top and your black boots, not the ones with the real high heels, the other ones. You know which ones I mean."

She couldn't help a tiny huff of laughter at her mom's fashion advice. Maybe she was right and she needed a night out. "OK mom. I'll go out with you but not too late. I have a shift in the morning."

Crossing her finger over her heart she replied to her daughter. "I promise. Now scoot."

Waiting until the door to the bathroom closed, Diane reached for Kim's cell phone and scrolled through her contact list. When she found who she was looking for she pressed to connect and hoped there would be an answer.

Thirty minutes went by before Kim made her appearance back in the living room and Diane looked at her with approval. Although all signs of tears were gone, there was still a sadness in her eyes that she hoped would be wiped away soon.

"Honey, you look beautiful."

"Thanks mom. Now where are you taking me?"

Just as Kim was reaching for her jacket there was a knock at the door. Puzzled she walked over and peered through the security peephole. Her breath hitched in her chest at who she saw standing there. She pulled the door open and sure enough, it was Adam. He stood there looking at her with a mixture of sadness, hope and determination. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she finally remembered to breathe.

"Adam, what are you doing here?" The question seemed to be her mantra for the evening.

"Hi Kim. Can I come in?" His eyes devoured her as if to remember her face, this moment forever, just in case she slammed the door in his face. He wanted to keep this picture of her in his mind.

In answer she swung the door further to allow him access. Their gazes never wavered from each other as Kim leaned against the door with Adam a few feet away. A bit of uncertainty clouded his expression but he could not look away from her and it seemed that she felt the same.

"Kim..." his voice was a pleading whisper... "we have to talk. Please talk to me."

"This isn't a good time, Adam. I've made plans with my mom." As if just noticing another person in the room, Kim began to introduce them. "Mom, this is Adam Ruzek. Adam, this is my mom."

Walking toward him with a smile on her face, Diane reached out her hand to him. "Well, Adam Ruzek, we finally meet. It's a pleasure."

Adam grasped her hand as if holding on to a lifeline. "The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Burgess. I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to meet as planned."

"Nonsense! The circumstances weren't right before and now they are. It doesn't matter when we met, as long as we did. And none of this Mrs. baloney. Please call me Diane. I'll be offended if you don't."

"Yes, ma'am, Diane – whatever you say."

She laughed as she released his hand and turned to gather up her coat and purse. "That's better. Now I think we can be friends."

Kim looked at her mother incredulously, beginning to put the puzzle pieces in order. "Mom! Where are you going? We have plans. By the way, did you have anything to do with this?" Her hand gestured to Adam.

An innocent expression covering her face her mother replied. "Kim I'm shocked you'd think I was so underhanded. Besides isn't this what you want? As for our plans, I suddenly remembered that I promised to meet Sylvia Ann and you know how she gets if I were to cancel."

Without another word she breezed in between the couple, kissing her daughter's cheek and squeezing Adam's arm. Before either of them could protest she was out the door. Kim and Adam were alone with no idea what to do next.

Taking a deep breath, Adam reached for Kim's hand. "Please talk to me Kim, really talk to me. I miss you so much, it's like a part of me has been cut away. I want to make this right." He was encouraged when she allowed him to tug her toward the sofa. They carefully sat next to each other, not touching, mindful to keep a little distance and then they began to talk.

Kim told him about the push test and how his answer made her feel. Adam protested that he only agreed because he thought that's what she wanted. She apologized tearfully and went on to tell him about Sean and how it never felt right to be with him, how it only felt right when she was with him. They talked about everything and nothing, the time slipping away unnoticed. Finally the emotional evening caught up with Kim and she let out an involuntary yawn.

Adam reached over to brush a curl away from her face. "It's late, I should be going." He brought her hand to his lips, kissing her palm before beginning to stand.

"No." Kim whispered pulling on his hand to keep him next to her. "I want you to stay."

Softly cupping her face in his hands, Adam pressed his lips to hers. He felt as if he had come home. She berated herself for denying this and poured every ounce of love she felt into the kiss.

And so he stayed...