Author's Note:
!IMPORTANT!
!READ THIS NOTE!
For the very few of you who have favorited or followed this story, I will be taking this story down and re-posting it soon. Check out my profile for details.
Legend:
"Normal speech"
'Thoughts'
Writing
"Speech in different languages"
*Motions/Actions done during speech*
(Author's comments)
Story Disclaimer:
I'm only really doing this because one never knows if someone stupid will go after you, so, if anyone actually is stupid enough to think I own one or even all of the pieces of fiction that will be featured in this story, do you really think a lawsuit would realistically go anywhere?
...
...
...
*Sigh* ...And no, I do not own any of the fictional works that are involved in my story...
*Mutters* ...Even if I've put more thought into some of this stuff than the original creators did...
Chapter 1: The Beginning of Chaos...
Chapter Quote: "R.O.B., an acronym for Random Omnipotent Being. Often used as a plot device in fanfiction, they make what the writer wants to happen, happen – no matter how absurd the situation is... Which is usually why they're needed. Typically depicted as faceless and hands off when it comes to plot, it allows the writer to immediately get to their scenario without much explanation."
Story/Chapter Start
He walked onto the stage of a dark auditorium and as he did so, a spotlight revealed him to the crowd. As the man walked to the stage, the audience is quick to note that he is average in every way, from appearance to clothing. Similar in many ways to some of his currant viewers, but as his more local audience knows all too well... He is far from average.
He clasped his hands and spoke, "Now ladies, gentlemen, and Robs of all shapes, sizes, and genders of choice, I have gathered you and the readers here today so we may all observe and, more importantly, bet on a most interesting series of events. I have used my abilities as a Random Omnipotent Being to put on a show that you can all enjoy and hopefully not many of the readers will simply stop reading; as for you, my fellow Robs, this is an anti-omniscient zone, so you can't see into the future before you place any bets." At this most of the Robs, now identified as such, groaned, while a few others laughed as their misfortune. "Now, if you are done, I will tell you what this is all about. Oh and you may call me Bert."
The newly identified Bert clicked a button on the remote, which had suddenly appeared in his hand, and the projector screen lit up with a blank white screen. Bert stood there for a moment and clicked the button again.
Nothing.
"Damn it..." Bert muttered as he smacked the remote and then clicked the button a third time. At this, three columns of text appeared. "Finally... As I was saying, this is what we are all here to see or rather a list of poor saps that I dragged into this."
The column on the left had a list, with the header "Good Guys", showing numbers of various groups of people and ships, the right column, similar to the left, had the header of "Bad Guys", while the center, which was filled with a series of question marks, had the header of "The Star Wars Universe".
"This is a basic list of the groups of beings that I've borrowed and as you can see, it should prove to be... *Evil grin* Fun... Now, my fellow Robs, if you would pick up the tablets you received earlier, you will see the extended list of who will be on each side and what they will have resource wise. Oh and readers, you don't have to read it, but I do advise at least glancing at it, or you might be totally lost later on." As he finished, the left column expanded to cover the entire screen.
Good Guys:
United Nations Personnel & Ship Manifest – Total: 478,750,755 personnel/citizens; 12,484 interstellar ships (War Ships: Large 674 - Small: 2,383 –– Non-Combat Ships: 10,597) + 22,219 Orbital Platforms
13 – Pokémon
3 – Chronicles of Riddick
6 – Final Fantasy: Spirits Within
12 + GLaDOS – Portal/Half-Life
137 – Firefly/Serenity
1,000 – The Walking Dead
24,639 + 9 Biju – Naruto – 15,000 Civilians and 9,369 Ninja
27,356,841 – James Cameron's Avatar – 27,356,796 Na'vi, 37 Humans at Hell's Gate, and 8 VIPs
28,409,124 – Stargate – 1,000 Asgard, 381 Sodan (Jaffa), 1,539 Abydonians (Humans), 895 Athosians (Humans), 467 Satedans (Humans), 15,751,488 Non-military Tauri (Humans), 348,444 Military Tauri (Humans), 1,296,000 Wraith, 1,000,000 future Tok'ra hosts (Humans), 10,000 Blended Tok'ra, 10,000,000 Jaffa, and 60 VIPs
30,003,500 – Bungie's Halo – 1,000,000 Huragok, 10,000,000, Sangheili, 10,000,000 Unggoy, 2,000,000 Mgalekgolo, 7,000,000 Non-Military Humans, 170 SPARTAN-IIs, 930 SPARTAN-IIIs, and 2,400 SPARTAN-IVs + An as of now unknown number of Human UNSC Military Personnel
35,160,010 – My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic – 17,536 Mortal Alicorns, 5,000,000 Unicorns, 5,000,000 Earth Ponies, 5,000,000 Pegasi, 10,000,000 Zebras, 10,000,000 Thestrals, 142,467 Changelings, and 7 VIPs
100,022,588 – Forgotten Realms/Lord of the Rings – 25,000,000 Dwarves, 25,000,000 Hobbits, 2,021,450 Humans, 8 Tieflings, 810 Members of Bregan D'arthe (Drow), 48,000,000 Elves (16,000,000 to each: Drow (Dark Elves), Alu (Water Elves), and Eldar (Normal Elves)), and 24 VIPs
257,772,882 + 4,659 Guardians – Bungie's Destiny – 179,688,947 United Peoples of Earth (Mix of Humans, Faunus, Awoken, and Exo), 35,201,366 Awoken of the Reef, and 42,882,569 Other Populations
The list shrank and the screen returned to the three columns.
"As you can see, the "Good Guys" are in this for the long haul and they will have general idea of what the "Bad Guys" have, but they won't really know what is in for them when it comes to the rest of the Universe that have been dropped into. Now, the "Good Guys" aren't the only ones' ready for a fight, so here are the "Bad Guys", who will also have a general idea of what their opponents will have."
With that, the Bad Guys column expanded to cover the screen.
Bad Guys:
The Holy Covenant Empire Personnel and Ship Manifest – Total: 1,267,054,765 personnel/citizens; 44,148 interstellar ships (16,102 War Ships + 28,046 Non-Combat Ships) + The Holy City of High Charity
82,100,000 – Goa'uld – 52,000,000 Human Slaves, 30,000,000 Jaffa, 72,017 Goa'uld, 24,184 Kull Super Soldiers (Goa'uld), 3,350 Ashrak (Goa'uld), 430 Under Lords, and 19 Goa'uld System Lords
13,254,617 – Wraith – 139,000 Human Wraith Worshipers, 11,446,050 Wraith Drones, 1,669,428 Wraith Commanders, and 139 Wraith Queens
621,741 – Xenomorph – 560,510 Drones, 56,051 Warriors, 5,173 Praetorians, 6 Queens, and 1 Empress
78,407 – Promethean Construct – 70,000 Crawlers, 7,000 Warriors, 700 Watchers, 700 Knights, and 7 Wardens
1,000,000,000 – Arachnid – Minion Bugs, Fighter Bugs, Skipper Bugs, Water Serval Bugs, Worker Bugs, Warrior Bugs, Hopper Bugs, Water Tiger Bugs, Assault Bugs, Grenadier Bugs, Tanker Bugs, Plasma Bugs, Royal Guard Bugs, Transport Bugs, Super Transport Bugs, Brain Bugs, and Queens
171,000,000 – Original Covenant – 10,000,000 San'Shyuum, 30,000,000 Sangheili, 10,000,000 Mgalekgolo, 30,000,000 Jiralhanae, 30,000,000 Kig-Yar, 30,000,000 Unggoy, 1,000,000 Huragok (Old Covenant, not Forerunner), and 30,000,000 Yanme'e
"While the "Bad Guys" don't have an as extensive list, they are going to be out for blood, survival, and ascension." Bert paused and reached over to the suddenly there table next to him and drank from the glass he acquired from it, "Ah, much better. Where was I? Oh yes. Now each side has their reasons for doing what they are doing, for the soon to be organized U.N., it will simply be so they can live their lives, do the Star Wars galaxy some good, and later on, fulfill the role they have been given.
"As for the newly reformed Covenant Empire, well… Hmm… That is a bit more complicated. Now the Covenant will be comprised of two kinds of aliens, and I'm not just talking about the Xenomorphs. One kind is the sort that we know the Covenant for: religious fanatics. The other is the sort that just wants to have power and/or to eliminate all who threaten their existence. For the latter, their motivation will be the fact that IF they stay with each other and the rest of the Covenant, they will be very hard to get rid of. For the former, their motivation is something that I really didn't want to include, but in the end, was forced to.
"At the center of Covenant worship is the idea that if they activate the Halo rings, they will ascend to god-hood. And in order to properly get their asses into gear, I will have to have the minor Halos and Ark, along with some other Forerunner stuff in the Galaxy (the Star Wars one). But there are some things you must know, one there will NOT be any Flood of any sort. Two, there will be NO Forerunners around. Three, all of the technology will still be keyed to humans from Halo. But they will be able to have the key changed to something else later on, as for how or what they would change it to, I'll be keeping that a secret for the moment.
"Now I will let the Robs ask some questions. Please raise your hand if you have one." As looked over them a few dozen hands shot up. "Okay, I'll go with you ma'am, in the red shirt. Please say where you are from and what your question is."
She grabbed the mic that appeared in front of her, "Thank you. I'm from around the little bit of reality that's in-between the Marvel and DC multi-verses…" At that many of the other Robs winced. "Yeah, I know, that is part of why I'm asking what I'm asking. Now, what are you going to do about the bull shit that happens in the universes that you're taking people from, particularly Stargate, Naruto, and Forgotten Realms? And also, what are going to do about the bull that takes place in the Star Wars universe, I mean, they are very entertaining places to observe, but when you come from a place like where I'm from, that sort of shit just gets old and fast."
Bert looked at and nodded, "Ah, I understand your concerns and I hope to not let you down on this. As for what I'm doing about much of the bull shit, first: they cannot perform the SG-1 trifecta, which is time travel, parallel dimension travel, and alternate reality travel. The only stuff that any one will be able to do that is under the category of Space/Time Manipulation is the following: teleportation, FTL travel (slip-stream space and hyperspace of varying forms), pocket dimensions (dyson spheres/shield worlds, sealing scrolls, and other similar things), and a few other very select things. And as for the bull from Star Wars, well I try to curb it in, buuut… Well, as you know, Star Wars is a really difficult universe to work with from a logical standpoint. Next question. You, sir in the black."
"Thank you. I'm from just outside the Dungeons and Dragons Multi-Verse Containment Zone and I was wondering how you'll introduce all of these people to what is going on and how do you expect them all to work together? I ask this for the reader's benefit."
"Good point and thank you for that. First, I must point out that as a Rob, I can just implant the basic understanding of what is going on to them, so they don't try to kill each other. The other thing that I'm doing is having them – by them, I mean the "Good Guys" at least – forge bonds via combat. Many of the people who I consider important to the plot will be put into different situations where they have to work together to survive. I'll have something similar going on for the bulk of the "Good Guy's" fleet. As for the "Bad Guys", well they are the sort who it would take more than fighting together to get them to cooperate in the long run, hell even short term for some of them. So, I'm gonna have to do full on R.O.B. hand waving to get things going with them. But that isn't to say there won't be any problems, there will be, they just won't be popping up immediately or get really violently until later.
"Next question. Hmm, let's go with you sir, in the camo hoodie."
He stood up and grabbed the mic, "Thank you sir, as you know, many of the readers who are MLP: FiM fans generally... Disapprove of Alicorn OCs. How are you going to balance that with the fact that you seem to have a small population of Alicorns participating in this situation?"
Bert sighed, "Yeah, that I forgot about that for a bit. The situation is complicated, due to the various sources on Alicorns and how they are depicted in general. I am having there be more Alicorns other than the Princesses, the why comes down to a number of facts. One, it has been shown that Alicorns can be born. Princesses Luna and Celestia. Flurry Heart. The less known cousin Leon. These characters show that it can happen and for some, Leon for example, there is no real explanation for as to where they came from or who their parents are. Two, it has been shown that the kind of Pony one is can be very... Random. The Cakes are the main example, two Earth Ponies having a Pegasus and a Unicorn, with the genetic traits being very vague. Three, Alicorns are considered a perfect balance between the three common Pony types: Unicorn, Pegasus, and Earth Pony. So thus, with the three tribes becoming one nation, inter-breeding between them would become exponentially higher."
Bert stopped for a moment to take another sip from his suddenly there glass, "That fact leads me to say that slowly, extremely slowly, Alicorns would start to be born, and even then they would be incredibly uncommon. They would be long lived, only three or four hundred years, they would usually be powerful, but not too powerful, just more so in comparison to normal Ponies, let's say Shining Armor or pre-Element Bearer Twilight Sparkle. And finally, an Alicorn would have much higher chances of having a Alicorn child, even if their partner wasn't an Alicorn. Cadence is a good example of this, but that could be written off as the fact that she is a Alicorn princess, which will matter in this situation. Overall, the common Alicorns will not be super powerful, they will not have natural lifespans of thousands of years, and they will not be Mary Sues.
"Now there is one other note about Alicorns. For the moment, I will be having only three minor Alicorns (Alicorn OCs) that will be important, all of them are highly experienced military commanders, and have been so for at least several decades, so they will be quick on the up keep and won't make too many mistakes." Bert took a deep breath, "Now, next question? You in the neon pink. Yes, you, please stand up..."
Later
After a break, Bert walked back on to the stage and waited as the auditorium filled back up. As soon as the last of the Robs entered the room, he cleared his throat, "Okay, now that we are all here again, let's get back to business. First things first, I have many things going on that I've shown to you, but there are going to be a number of little surprises that are important and I won't be saying much about. Bu–"
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
Bert glanced to the right side of the stage, where the sounds that had interrupted him came from and then gave a disbelieving stare, "...I thought he would be out for a few more hou–"
*THUMP!*
The edge of a wooden crate appeared. The holes along the top, along with the crates movement, made it obvious that there's a very displeased animal inside it.
*THUMP!* *THUMP!*
The crate was now in full view of the crowd, who broke into whispers at the various and numerous labels on it: LIVING CARGO - !WARNING! - DO NOT ANTAGONIZE - FIRE HAZARD - THIS SIDE UP - RUSHING JAWS - ON LOAN FROM ERU/ILÚVATAR
Bert listened to their whispers with a smirk as he walked up to the crate and sat on it, which prevented it from doing much more than shaking in place.
"No way, did he really...?
"Holy shit, is it safe to be near it? Let alone in the same building?"
"How can he be so casual about this?"
"I don't know about you, but if nothing else this will end up leading to some very entertaining situations."
"Entertaining situations?! Shit, I'd have left the building by now if it weren't for the bets I made earlier!"
"If he has him under control, we should be fine... Right?"
"Whatever..." A Rob sighed and turned to the stage, "Hey Bert? Should we be worrying about that or what?!" (Note #1)
Bert's smirk grew into a full-on grin, "Ah, everything's fine, he just woke up sooner than I thought he would. Speaking of..." Bert, still sitting on it, looked down at the crate and rapped his knuckles on it. "That should keep him down until after I want to let him out." Bert sighed, stood up, and gave the crate a hard kick. A vortex opened over it and the crate slowly rose, until it went through. After the vortex closed, Bert turned back to the crowd and he gestured to where the crate was a moment ago, "See, all's good... Now, What I was saying? ...Oh right, I won't be saying much about the surprises I'll be having, but they will be all sorts of fun and will make things very... Interesting."
Bert walked back to the center of the stage and took a drink of water. "Oh, and for the readers who wanted to see more of the Q&A, if there are enough questions that raise good points, there will be a section or two featuring those questions in future chapters." As he said this he started to fade away. "Now we are going to move on to where important people are waking to their new reality and having new bonds between them be forged in fire. This isn't what I originally going to do, buuuut a friend of mine said that what I had was too boring and un-Rob-ish. So, get ready for a lot of action, laughs, muttered and not so muttered curses, and the obligatory explosions."
As Bert finished, he was gone.
Elsewhere
After Bert ended the meeting and let the gathered Robs scatter to various parts of the hyperdimensional hotel, we find ourselves inside of one of the observation lounges a trio of Robs were meeting.
"So, what do you guys think of the odds for the Kell of Knights cutting her losses?" asked the Rob on the left side of the booth, they took the form of short Native American woman.
"Well, we got four to one odds on it…" The Rob on the right side of the booth shrugged, "I think that any Eliksni that becomes a Kell should be smart enough to know to get when the gettin' is good." This one's preferred form was a vaguely humanoid mass of darkness.
The Rob in the middle of the booth, taking the form of an old African man, piped in, "Eh, that is an easy bet. What I'm thinking about is how the Vex will react to Celestia in the long run? With how oddly those cyborgs think, even Bert has no idea what they'll do in the long run."
The darkness Rob snorted, "Considering all of the possible bets for what they'll do are a thousand to one odds? I don't think it's worth our time. What I'm gonna bet is Balwûr confronting *Bleeeeeep* in the aftermath of Oryx's death. It has a good eleven to one odds and this the Hive we're talking about, of course she'll want to get the *Bleeeep* from him."
"Fair enough," the old Rob relented and looked down at the bets listing on the table, "What else could I go for… Hmm, who would win in the First Battle of High Charity, Fleet Admiral Cole or Imperial Admiral Xytan 'Jar Wattinree?"
This got the female Rob's attention, "Ooh, that sounds interesting, the greatest strategists of both the UNSC and the Covenant finally duking it out."
The darkness laughed, "I'd go for Cole, he knows how to fight the Covenant and he has much better ships available to him now, while Xytan never got to personally go up against humans and he doesn't know all of what the UN has instore."
The old Rob tilted his head side to side as he thought about it, until something at the front of the lounge caught his attention, "Hey, guys? Is that who I think it is walking in?!"
The jaws of the other Robs dropped as they looked over to see that it was Ilúvatar and Ao who'd entered the lounge and sat at a table on the far side of the room.
The darkness was the first to snap out of it, "Uh… Do we want to be in the same plain of existence that those two are plotting something?"
"I don't know… They could be doing something harmless… Right?" The short one asked as she looked to the seemingly old Rob.
He shrugged in response, "Even those two wouldn't do anything that could harm all of the Robs here, there'd be far too much backlash for them to get through it unscathed."
The darkness tilted to the side, "But what about all of Ilúvatar's other underlings? They are on par with Ao after all."
The short one was stuck between sighing and rolling her eyes, "Then we can just take it to Bert then! And if it really is a problem, then it will be his mess."
The old Rob nodded, "But still, I can't help but wonder what they could possibly be talking about…"
Chapter End
Posted July 19, 2017
Author's Note:
Note #1: You might be confused as why a room full of godly beings were sorta freaking out about what is likely a mortal creature (it is mortal) being near them. Let me put it this way, even if it couldn't do you any real harm, would you want to stick your finger inside of cage that has a rabid hamster in it? Let alone want to be in the same room as said rabid hamster?
Anyhow, there it is. So much to do, so much to show, and this chapter has zero plot. But it sets the stage and give you at lease a vague idea of what's going to be involved. Unfortunately, we won't be seeing anything from Star Wars for… A few chapters? Even then, it's not going to be much.
My hope for this project is that it will be long, expansive, and generally well done.
…
…
…
…I'll have to get back to you guys on whether the last part is possible.
I have some 100,000 words of world building done so far and I have several more hundred-thousand words to put together for the long term, but that needed world building along with real life will ensure that this story will not be updated regularly and there is a fair chance that updates won't come very often. I know that is a very off-putting thing to put in the very first chapter, but I'm gonna be up front about the facts for this story.
Will the story be any good?
I'm not entirely sure, but I think it won't totally suck.
Will the story ever be finished?
No clue. With my luck, I could be hit by a car and die tomorrow, but if I don't die in an untimely manner, I will try my hardest to actually finish this fanfic.
Do I know what I am doing?
Nope. In a way, that is the overall purpose of this fic: to refine my writing skills so my original works won't suck, that is, if I ever get around to writing those (Well, I'm also writing this fic to get rid of all the damn plot bunnies that've been cluttering my head for a better part of a decade…).
Do all of the fictional characters I'm "borrowing" actually play a role in the overall plot?
No, not really. Some of them I have in this story because I just wanted to have them in it, nothing more and nothing less. But even then, I at least try to be reasonable with how I include them, even if it means tweaking the character's back story and place of origin to make it work.
Why am I bothering with these strange pseudo-questions?
Well, after rewriting this end note several times, it sorta evolved into this and it works for me.
And finally, I would like to thank The Dragonic Saint for his help with looking this over and making corrections. For those who review, please no flames, I hate clutter. And for the rest of you who review, please, be honest.
Bloodfox64 out!