Secrets
"Hey." Said Remus, prompting himself in the seat in front of Severus.
"You disappeared. Again. Where were you?" The dark-hared boy had his dark greenish-blue eyes upon Remus face, his words demanding but his face nothing other than concerned.
"My mom – she had another crisis." Remus lied, so easily he was briefly affrighted.
"Is she better?"
"Lost time I saw her yes, but you know how these things go – she could have another relapse any time."
"Right." He said, suspiciously surveying Remus as the sandy hared boy lowered his head to his books. "What's it that she has – I forgot."
"Cataporosiss." Remus said, unblinkingly, hoping that wouldn't contradict anything he had told his lover in the past.
"Never heard of it."
"It's a muggle disease – a rare one, too." Severus said nothing and once more Remus lowered himself to his homework, only to be once more interrupted shortly after
"You don't look very well." He said, observing Remus closely "One might think you were the one sick."
"Couldn't get much sleep last night."
"I didn't say you looked tired – I said sick."
"Well, who knows, maybe I'm coming down with something."
"Must be a very interesting disease – to give you those bruises." Remus head shot up, and Severus motioned his right arm with his head. There were several purple bruises in his forearm – Remus quickly covered them.
"I... I tripped. You know how clumsy I can get." He said, smiling sheepishly.
"Yes, indeed." He said, reaching out and grabbing the side of Remus collar before the shorter boy could do anything "What did you fall on, then – a butcher knife?" When pulled, Remus shirt had revealed a deep, red gash, not yet completely healed.
"Don't do that." He hissed, struggling away from Severus gasp and quickly covering the wound, looking around himself to see whether anyone had seen it. Luckily, they hadn't.
"You're hiding things from me, Remus." Severus said, looking, for the first time, down at his empty parchment. "Where do you really go?" he was looking up once more now, his dark eyes looking pained and pleadingly into Remus's.
"I... I can't tell you, Severus. I just can't." he bit into his lips "I'm sorry." His voice was low and weak, showing for the first time how tired he actually felt.
"Do they know?" Severus voice was low too, but his was with anger other than exhaustion.
"What?"
"Your friends... do they know?" he wouldn't look at Remus, showing how embarrassed he felt to be asking it, but also his need to know.
"I..." he did not know what to say – he couldn't lie to his lover any longer, but he knew telling him the truth would bring bad repercussions.
"They do." Severus said, surveying him closely, to then let out a hapless, softly poisonous laugh "You tell them, but not me."
"I didn't tell them – I never would – they were the ones to find out!" he tried, reaching out to hold Severus aristocratically long-fingered hand – but Severus squirmed away from his touch.
"Don't you trust me?"
"I do – of course I do!" he said, helplessly "But I can't tell you. I wish I could, but I can't! You..." he hesitated before continuing "You wouldn't understand."
"Who do you bloody think you are to say what I understand and what I don't?" he hissed, standing up, his voice unusually high pitched, causing several people to shot them angry looks. He immediately pulled himself back together. "I love you – you know that." his velvety voice was once more low and polite. "I can take it. What is it – are you sick?"
"In a way, yes, I am." He wasn't looking at Severus, who had once more sat down before him "It's something I've been dealing with since I was very small – and there isn't a cure."
"Are you s-...?"
"Yes." He was now gathering his things "I've got to go."
"Wait..."
"I'll see you later." He said, ignoring Severus' plead and walking away.
"So, you want to know what really happens to Remus, don't you?" came a voice from behind him.
Sirius watched, biting into his lips with anger. It wasn't right – it wasn't right.
It wasn't right that Snape, the snivelling git, got to touch what was his by right – he was the one that should be with Remus, not him.
Snape didn't deserve Remus – Remus was too good for him.
No, Remus belonged to him. He loved Remus – he had for a long time now.
That idiot – he knew nothing about Remus. Nothing, not even now, after they had been together for almost six months.
He hadn't even realised that Remus was a werewolf yet – whilst him had placed the pieces together after only two months of living in the Gryffindor tower and of close interaction with Remus, after he managed to get out of Slytherin.
Suddenly, a grin spread over his face, as he had an idea – he knew what to do to take the git out of the play – how hadn't he realised before, it had been right there in front of him how along.
All he had to do was to wait a month and have a little chat with the hook- nosed fool.
And the Remus would be all his...
Severus apprehensively watched the three's branches swing furiously in the air before him, a long stick already in his hand.
He knew what he had to do to gain access to were Remus was – Black had made sure he understood it all very thoroughly.
And that was what troubled him.
Why on earth was Black helping him? For all h knew, people finding out whatever Remus was hiding wouldn't be good for the sandy-hared boy – and Black was supposed to be one of his best friends.
It just didn't add up.
He'd have been sure it was a prank on him, wasn't for the fact that he had seen, with his own eyes, Remus furtively enter the tunnel, right as the sun set.
Taking a deep breath, he gingerly approached the tree, as well as pressed the twist on the root with the stick.
The tree immediately froze.
Walking quickly towards where the tunnel entrance was supposed to be – Black had said the tree wouldn't be froze for long – he made sure no one was around, and entered trough the hole on the floor, and into a corridor.
It was dark and damp and small and he didn't like it one bit, but he continued to walk forward.
It seamed an eternity before he reached a living room, and, when he did, he froze, just as the willow had.
A huge, almost 2 meters high, grey werewolf, stood in it's hid legs in the middle of the room, looking viciously at him – moving towards him, right before two hands caught his shoulders and drew him back.
And then he ran, ran as quick as he could, being dragged forward, the image of the werewolf forever printed on his mind, realising that that was Remus, that was the person he loved, that enormous monster...
And then he was thrown in the floor as they reached the exit – he was faintly aware that it was Potter puling him out – and outside there was light, artificial wandlight, and teachers were there... Madam Ponfrey began to examined him, uncaring of his attempts to push away and people were talking...
And then everything went dark and he was faintly aware of his body hitting the floor...
Severus sat in the hospital wing, staring unblinkingly at the full moon out in the dark night sky, his head rushing.
Remus – the person he loved – the only he had ever loved – was a werewolf. He was cursed – worse, he was a creature – a Dark creature at that, not even human...
He couldn't believe he hadn't putted the pieces together before – it was all there, right before him and he was too blind by adoration to see it...
Remus always, inexorably, disappeared for three days – never two, never four, always three.
He'd come back with cuts and bruises, that, somehow, healed so quickly that you wondered whether they had ever been there – he'd never be sick – all because a werewolf's immunology system was so much more powerful than a human's...
His eyes would go from amber to an animal yellow, right before he was gone...
He'd be repulsed to the point of being sick by the mere sight of meat – a common symptom for werewolf's, because the smell of blood brought out the Wolf, even if the Full was far and that messed with their bodies...
He always disappeared in the Full – he had even noticed that, once, but at the time he had decided his mother's illness was connected to the moon phase...
He had been so stupid – so bloody blind.
Severus shivered despite the copious amounts of blankets over him. By the time he had come back to himself, everybody was gone and he found himself in the empty infirmary alone – but he knew that, the next day, they'd go to see Dumbledore, all of them.
And he'd have to face Remus – the image of the vicious werewolf charging against him was once more evoked, causing him to once more shiver and quiet tears stream down his face.
Biting hard into his lip, he felt hot tears running down his face and all he could do was lye back and muffle his sobs against the soft, over stuffed pillow.
The minute he woke up the next morning, Madam Ponfrey began to fuss about him, taking his temperature, checking on the bump behind his head, where it hit the floor, her hands quivering strangely as she did so.
Soon the check up was done and she brought a tray full of food for him, setting it before him. He wasn't surprised to find he couldn't swallow one bit of it, as appetising as it seamed.
Just as he was to ask madam Ponfrey whether he could go, Prof. MacGonagal entered the room, looking as if she hadn't slept the whole night.
"Ah, yes, Mr. Snape, I see you're already up. Good. The headmaster wishes to see you, as soon as possible." Her lip twitched slightly as he nodded, distaste obvious in her face as she surveyed the Slytherin.
"I'll just get dressed." He said, his voice sounding somewhat hoarse.
"Yes, of course. The password is "Lemon drops"."
When Severus arrived at the door that led into the Headmaster's office, he felt his stomach tie in knots.
With a deep breath, he knocked on the door, Dumbledore's soft voice telling him to enter.
Black, Potter and Remus were already there, occupying three of the chairs settled before the Headmaster, Remus sitting in between Black and Potter, who seamed to be rather mad at each other for some reason.
He took the last chair, that one a little further of them, forcing himself not to look at Remus – but it was too late.
He had already seen the painful look in his face and heard the sharp intake of breath when he rearranged himself slightly in his chair, after Severus entered; he had already seen his bandaged arm and the big bruise in his cheek.
He was little aware as Dumbledore spoke – how he was disappointed at them, mostly at Sirius and James, the disastrous consequences it could have had and so on – until spoke directly at him.
"Severus, you, of course, realise that this can't spread." He nodded, numbly, still not looking over at Remus, barely hearing what was said after.
Finally it was over – Gryffindor had lost a substantial amount of points and the three received detention for what seamed the rest of their lives, whilst he had only lost 20 for Slytherin and detention for two nights for being out of bed after curfew, but he didn't care.
His thought were still clouded as they exited the Headmaster's officer, Black and Potter ahead, bickering, Remus not far behind, and then him.
When he exited the Gargoyle passage, Black's and Potter's voices fading away into distance, he saw that Remus was there waiting for him, biting his lip, his brows creased together with worry.
The instant he saw Remus, he instinctively took a step back, his face even paler than usual.
"I won't bite" Remus said, lamely, stepping forward towards Severus, who quickly squirted even more back.
"But you almost did – back there, you tried to..." his voice cracked, his eyes wide as they observed Remus with fear.
"I'm sorry – I... I can't control it. I..." his whole self was shacking, a tear falling down his face. "I'm sorry."
"You lied to me." Severus said, as if he hadn't heard anything Remus had said, "You said you were sick – that's not a sickness! That's – that's a bloody curse! You're not even human!" Remus's shoulder shook even more violently
"That's why I didn't tell you – I knew you'd react this way and I... I love you, Severus, I couldn't..." Remus reached out, but once more Severus squirmed away, this time angrily
"Don't!" Severus screamed, shacking also "Don't tell me about love, you – you thing! I slept with you – I let you touch me and... I bloody fell for you! And you lied to me; you hid it from me and I..." he looked up to Remus, his eyes blazing with anger "I hate you!"
"Severus, please..." he tried, tears streaming freely down his face, but was brusquely cut off
"Stay away from me, you bloody werewolf!" he hissed, his voice low and dangerous, before turning away, his robes billowing behind him, and running away, towards the Slytherin Dungeons.