Voltaire's Lullaby, a beyblade fanfic

After hearing and falling in love with the song Room of Angel, by Akira Yamaoka, featured in video-game Silent Hill 4 (which btw I don't own any XD), it hit me that this song resembles Kai and his Grandfather's relationship rather well. So a very depressing idea came to me and I just sort of wrote it as I went along. I missed off a couple of verses at the end because the song is really long! But it was just repeating the chorus. Also one word is changed in the whole song XD Can you guess what it is?

Hope you likey!

Voltaire's Lullaby

It's raining as I find you. You are too weak to even fight back against that- and choked as the droplets fell into your open mouth. I know it shouldn't have happened this way. I know I would have much rather it had been me who brought you down. But I'm not sad.
The cold is against my favour. It stings more than seeing you lying here. You don't deserve any sympathy from me. Yet for some reason, I inherit a memory.
When you and I were much younger. You once sang me a lullaby. You thought I was asleep.
It went something like this, didn't it, Grandfather?

"You lie silent there before me
your tears they mean nothing to me
the wind howling at the window
the love you never gave
I give to you..."

Did you really hate me that much? To sing such a depressing lullaby to me in the dark; as the moon struck you that night. You stared at it forever. I know. It was almost as though I could read your thoughts. You didn't like me. You never have, even though I'm here, holding your head as you cough up words that mean nothing to me.
What did you just say again? Oh yes. It was...
'I never hated you, Kai...'
At this moment the wind changes. You beg me to carry on singing the lullaby. I'll remember that look you give me- like you had met death one too many times. The clear fear in your eyes. It doesn't scare me. So I carry on.

"Really don't deserve it
but now there's nothing you can do
so sleep in your only memory of me
my dearest grandfather..."

Except you called me your grandson.
You don't claim you actually care about me though, either. Even when dying, your body slowly turning blue against the chill in the air... your hands draining quickly from warmth... you still think about you. It's written all over your forsaken face. I interpret you are wondering 'Why is this happening to me?' You never do want to die, do you? Even though you hide it well. I suppose that's the only humane part of you.

"Here's a lullaby to close your eyes.. goodbye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry.. oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes.. goodbye
goodbye
goodbye."

It's now that you close your eyes. I reach out and run my finger down the trail of blood you leave on the stained ground. The rain is washing it away quickly, trying to erase your presence before God notices. To most people, you were never welcome in this world. But you frightened the world with your scheming ways, anyway. You didn't care. You never did.
Once again, it was all about you, no matter the situation.
Your lost blood is streaming down the drain, into the sewers. Where you and your body belong. Deep underground. Where no one else can get hurt. Especially me.

"So insignificant
sleeping dormant deep inside of me
are you hiding away lost
under the sewers
maybe flying high in the clouds..."

As the night drawls on, the wind shifts again. This time it's telling me to leave you and live my life. But I stop and think. It would be inhumane of me to leave a dying man, despite the fact it's you. It's you. I just want you to understand it doesn't mean that I forgive you. For me to leave you now would be exactly what you've done to me all your life. Your level isn't mine. The dignity I hold is stronger than ever now- you thought I couldn't fend without you.
Now look at you. Your blood seeps. Do you deserve such peace?

"Perhaps you're happy without me
so many seeds have been sown in the field
and who could sprout up so blessedly
if I had died."

This time your body intrigues me. Your death isn't important. Maybe it's the way you are dying. But nonetheless I touch your wounds. I pull back and find my hand soaked in your blood- my blood. We're of the same family. It's painful enough knowing that, but suddenly I feel angry. Your blood is my blood. It's a fact I long to forget. To be rid of your pointless self.

"I would have never felt sad at all
you will not hear me say I'm sorry
where is the light
wonder if it's weeping somewhere..."

You look so peaceful. No. You don't deserve this peace, considering everything you've done to prevent said word during your pathetic existence. Accidentally, I touch my chest. Your blood is stained against me. I'm sorry, but there's only one thing I can do now.
I take off my vest. Being touched by you now, in death, is like holding my breath under water.
Your face is beginning to turn bluer, more deathly, the smell of a tragedy whisking the air. But once again, the rain quickly disposes of it. No one can stand you.

"Here's a lullaby to close your eyes.. goodbye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry.. oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes.. goodbye..."

That night, you finished the lullaby until the very end. Thank you for showing you care so much. Just like you did, in return, I'll finish it for you.

Goodbye, Grandfather. You won't be missed.

...XD Um yes. Told you it was depressing! If you enjoyed it please drop me a review. :)