Disclaimer - Don't own Artemis Fowl in this or in any other universe. Sadly.
A/N: Here's my first shot at an Artemis Fowl fanfiction, so reviews would be greatly appreciated. Review or bad things will happen to you. Like being trapped in a box. Of fluffy furry kittens. With sharp little claws and adorable faces. And rabies. You have been warned! Anyway, hope this is somewhat decent. As far as a timeline goes, I haven't read TAC yet so this story is set three years after TTP.
A silent shape lay curled in a chair as she steadily gazed at her target. Light finally broke through the curtains and sent a few haphazard rays into the tastefully opulent room. Mismatched eyes gazed at the still form under deep blue covers. Holly ran a hand through her auburn hair and gave the boy another five minutes. She was feeling merciful.
The diminutive elf yawned; she hadn't gotten that much sleep last night. Between the Ritual and her usual time spent flying sleep got left by the wayside. When she finally got here sleep was considered but Holly threw it aside for a couple hours of contemplation. Even without a world-threatening event occurring, a few things weighed on her mind. Namely the person six feet away.
A slender finger tapped on her chin as Holly glanced at the time and back to Artemis's face. The few motes of dust sparkling lazily in the yellow sunbeams captivated her attention for a second. She really couldn't explain why she liked him so much. Plenty of reasons suggested Holly should fight those feelings but their voices diminished every trip she made here. Logic couldn't stand before the heart after all.
Sighing at her romantic woes, Holly slipped out of the chair and quietly began the trek towards the bed. She really didn't understand why trolls, near-death experiences, and Opal Koboi couldn't match this comparatively mundane problem. At least I'll be able to surprise the great Artemis Fowl. A wicked smile crossed the elf's face. The lump hadn't moved while she made her stealthy advance across the lushly carpeted floor.
"Good morning Holly." said the lump. Holly stopped in her tracks a foot away and growled. She hadn't let anyone know about this surface jaunt besides Foaly. The centaur knew what would happen to him if he blabbed. She'd made that emphatically clear. Her eyes narrow in anger and her hand twitches into a fist. Having lost the element of surprise, Holly decided to attack before her target could do anything.
A photographer standing in the corner of the room would've caught quite an unusual picture in the next second. Holly's hair burst into flames as she flew through one of the sunbeams while a ferocious yell ripped from her throat. She resembled a lioness striking with fangs bared and claws ready to tear. Thankfully for Artemis, he didn't have to worry about having his throat torn out.
A slight rush of breath left Artemis's lungs as the elven captain landed. He flipped the covers off his head and grinned at the glaring eyes a foot above him. Holly knelt on him with her arms crossed on her chest. "How…did…you…know?" Holly hissed, punctuating each word with a harsh finger to his shoulder.
Knowing he would regret it, Artemis replied with his usual flippant remark and condescending eyebrow. "I'm Artemis Fowl of course." The hard punch to his other shoulder in response didn't stop the teen's amusement. Raising his hands to keep his friend from hurting him anymore, he hastily added, "I had a few clues."
"Oh really? What were they?" Holly asked. She wouldn't attack him anymore…for now. Besides, she was genuinely curious at how he knew. He loved to reveal his oh-so bright plans anyway. His growing smile was enough proof of that.
"First off, I knew it couldn't be an intruder that meant me harm. Anyone knowing my reputation would've struck me as soon as they came in rather than waiting until I woke up. No one would give me the opportunity to make a plan before theirs sprung into action." Artemis added his middle finger into the air besides his index finger as he moves onto the next point.
"Secondly, the rest of the family isn't at home right now. If the intruder didn't mean me harm and he or she wasn't part of my family then it had to be a fairy. Obviously you're at the top of the possibilities but someone else might venture along to talk to me. I went along on the assumption that our mysterious stranger is in fact you." Holly raised an eyebrow at his statement. Artemis didn't make "assumptions." She waited patiently for the third point that would be the linchpin in his argument.
Artemis smiles slightly and increased his adventuring party with a third finger. "Thirdly, I knew that you were coming. You had to keep in contact with someone on the fairy side to take a jaunt up here. Obviously that person would be Foaly." Holly sighed. Looks like the centaur would be meeting her wrath when she got back. Artemis chuckled at the elf's expression and decided he better save Foaly before he suffered great pain.
"Don't go after our mutual friend. He doesn't know that I have a direct feed into everything he does." Artemis laughed at Holly's shocked expression. "I wouldn't suggest telling him either; his ego couldn't handle the pain. It took me a few months but I finally got into some of his less-protected programs. One of which contains the plans for any LEP officer going aboveground. So when he put your little jaunt into the system I found out." Holly rolled her eyes at his supremely satisfied smirk.
Artemis shot a fourth finger into the air and Holly looked at him with confusion. His argument was already proven; what more did he need to say? "Finally, do you really think I'd need any of that? I know when you're near me." Holly opened her mouth but nothing came out. Closing it again, the captain frowned as she puzzled out whether he was being completely serious or messing with her mind. The second option always had a possibility of being true around Artemis. A studious gaze at the other pair of mismatched eyes told her he meant it.
A small smile tugged at Holly's face and Artemis took his turn at frowning. He expected a swift attack for that gamble. I don't get women at all. It wasn't his fault though; he didn't have much practice. Holly and Minerva didn't exactly describe your typical batch of females. Time slipped away so fast; today stood as his last chance. He would make his move or lose…Artemis hated to lose.
"So, what shall we do now that you've judged that I've had enough slumber for my physiological well-being?" Artemis asked. Holly shook with laughter while putting a hand over her mouth.
"That right there is one of the reasons you have no girlfriend. Is it even possible for you to talk like everyone else on occasion? Without the gift of tongues I couldn't handle five minutes of conversation with you. Not that I can anyway…" Holly's laughter doubled at the hurt and wounded expression of the teen under him. He decided to get a wee bit of revenge.
"Holly…" Artemis whispered. The elf leaned in closer to hear what he was saying. "Why exactly are you straddling my chest?" he asked. The captain blinked and glanced down at herself. At some point her kneeling position had changed without her noticing. Jumping off him as though he would burn her, Holly tried to hide the faint but noticeable blush crawling up her neck. Seriously… What am I, a teenager with a crush again? Artemis genuinely grinned at his friend; seeing her off-kilter was rare. Therefore each moment where he disconcerted her should be treasured.
Performing the wise move and saying nothing of the incident, Artemis yawned and got out of bed. Holly couldn't help but notice how he'd changed in the last few years. Growth actually gave the scrawny genius a musculature of a sort. It'd never be bodybuilder level but it had a certain charm all its own. Part of her brain wondered idly how he'd feel while the rest snapped harshly at it to shut up before he observed her rising discomfort.
Artemis remained oblivious as he shuffled towards the restroom with a towel over his shoulder and clothes in his hand. Holly hadn't seen him browse through his dresser. He stopped next to her and looked down with a questioning expression. "Are you going to stand there all day?"
"Of course not. I'll be in the kitchen eating or sleeping on the couch." She replies with a hint of exasperation and something else Artemis couldn't quite define. Shrugging it away, he watched the elf flounce out of his room. Too bad a degree in fighting villains aiming to rule the world mattered for nothing when it came to romance. He really should figure out how women tick and write a book. That would be worth millions right there. Hmm… Making a mental note to ask Foaly if he had any memories on hand from female patients, Artemis headed for the bathroom.
The centaur looked up from his screen at another screen slightly to the left of his head. An elf was tapping his foot while waiting outside his door. "Foaly! Open this right now or I'm slashing your budget!" Trouble Kelp yelled. Foaly winced and grumbled under his breath. Too many people took after Root with the budget jokes now. The elf strolled in and glared at the centaur reclining in his specially-made chair.
"Where is Holly?" he asked with a menacing glance. Foaly debated on withholding the information to piss Trouble off but that could be…well…trouble. Chuckling at his pun, he hit a few keys to prevent anyone else from hearing. He had promised to Holly and he really wanted to see Caballine later with all his limbs intact.
"You should know the answer." The centaur replied with a decent amount of sarcasm.
"What? Again? Will she ever leave that Mud Boy alone?" Trouble grumbled. Foaly grinned and thought of the exact reason why Artemis had persuaded him to drop the hint for a visit to Holly. The boy deserved one last chance before he got this rubbed into his face after all.
"Oh Trouble, how long did you bet again?" Foaly asked. The elf contemplated for a second and then remembered the office pool still running on when the human and elf would establish an official relationship.
"I said four years. Yourself?" he replied. Foaly frowns slightly.
"I'm already out, two years didn't do it. At least someone should be losing after today…" he trailed off and groaned. Trouble didn't know about the secret participant in the Plaza-wide betting pool.
"Who?" Trouble wracked his brain but couldn't remember anyone saying three years. Foaly looked a little nervous which clued him into a few possibilities. The only fairy that wouldn't want it known she was participating would be Holly. He immediately scratched that name off the list; Holly didn't know about this anyway. If she found out heads would roll. That left…Fowl. "The Mud Boy? I have to respect his courage there."
"Yeah, he said three years and today is his last chance. I figured it would only be sporting to give him the opportunity." Foaly replied smugly. Trouble couldn't help but smile at the thought of being able to prove the irritating genius wrong. He for one didn't intend to let Fowl live it down no matter what happened in the future.
"Think he'll pull it off?" Kelp asked. That possibility, however slim, still existed. Foaly tapped a finger on his chin and mulled it over.
"Actually…I do. The Mud Boy hasn't actually tried in the last three years." The centaur replied. Kelp looked at him curiously. Why wouldn't he try? Seeing the confusion, Foaly hastily explained himself. "He would love nothing better than to pull it off on the last day and rub it in. So…for three years he's probably been figuring out whether she likes him, what to do about it, and formulating a plan for today." Trouble shuddered. The Mud Boy still haunted his nightmares occasionally. He didn't like Fowl's plans in the least. Poor Holly. She's the target of his plans…again. Look how that turned out last time.
"D'Arvit. I think we're in trouble." Kelp replied. "Knowing Fowl, he'll have her wrapped around his finger after today." Foaly shook his head.
"Doubt that. Holly may be half in love with him but do you really think she'd wrap herself around his…finger? Honestly." The centaur laughed uproariously at the elf's shocked expression. Deciding to fight for Holly's honor, Trouble swiftly kicked Foaly out of his chair. Wincing and rubbing his bruised rump, Foaly pulled himself back into the chair grumbling all the while.
"Anyway, we'll find out either way. Don't you have a crazed megalomaniac genius to be catching?" Foaly continued. Trouble rolled his eyes. No one had caught a whiff of Koboi in three years. Maybe she had died…Nah. That would be too easy for the likes of them. No doubt the pixie was formulating some grand master plan. The elf turned and left Foaly to his technology.
Artemis slipped down the stairs and immediately peeked in the living room. Holly lay sprawled out on his couch with her ears twitching. Interesting…wonder what she's dreaming? He moved over to the tastefully patterned furniture piece and smiled at the fascinating creature using it as a bed. Every once in a while he'd get a glimpse of the softer side of the captain. This woman could kick his ass in ten different ways within a second yet he somehow felt…protective. Artemis sighed and shook his head.
He sat next to a slumbering Holly and roved his eyes over her delicate features. He always thought she was quite pretty in a pointy sort of way but he had come to learn long ago that the woman was a cactus. Thorns warned against any intrusion and could easily draw blood. Of course Artemis knew how to navigate past them…two percent of the time. Which was fairly good in his opinion. A rustle from Holly and a soft head resting on his chest told the boy that he had been commandeered for a pillow. He placed a hand on her hair, careful not to touch the ears. Death was not a preferable option to him after all. An hour passed in silence while Artemis's mind rambled along whatever path of thought it chose.
The first thing the elf felt upon returning to consciousness was contentment. She had such a comfortable and warm pillow after all. Yet this pillow moved rhythmically up and down under her head. Opening her eyes, Holly's vision consisted of Artemis's blue dress shirt. Wow, he's dressed casually. "How long?" she asked the shirt in front of her.
"Only an hour. You needed it though." Artemis replied. Holly nodded and sat up sheepishly.
"At least you make a good pillow. Remind me to solicit that service in the future." she teased with a twinkle in her eyes.
"As you command, milady." Artemis replied and bowed to Holly while sitting. She hadn't ever seen this attempted before and thought the result looked quite…idiotic. That description and Artemis didn't mix together at all. Shrugging, she lithely flipped over the couch and walked into the kitchen. The boy left in the room blinked; she moved fast. A clanging sound followed by a muttered curse reached his ears. That was odd, no metal was involved to grab the food Holly enjoyed.
The boy walked into the kitchen and burst out laughing. Holly sent him a death glare accompanied with a thrown spatula. Artemis dodged and the wooden spoon bounced off the couch onto the floor. Stifling his vocalizations before something heavier flew at him, Artemis picked up the forlorn spatula. "Why exactly are you cooking eggs?"
"I felt like it. By the way, don't complain. I won't be eating these after all." Holly replied from her position on top of a chair in front of the oven. Artemis winced and assumed the expression of a man standing at his father's deathbed. Nodding in satisfaction, the elfin captain poured the thoroughly beaten eggs into the skillet. The boy decided to return the favor and grabbed the garden-grown greens Holly always snacked on here. Chewing absentmindedly on the offered carrot, the elf focused on the solidifying yellow mass in front of her.
Artemis raised an eyebrow at the fluffy yellow omelet containing green onions, peppers, cheese, potatoes, and ham. Holly pushed the plate towards his face. "Go on. Eat it. Now." she commanded. He hadn't ever eaten this…concoction. Putting a steaming piece on his fork, he eyed it carefully. It looked perfectly fine but Holly cooking…? His mind couldn't grasp the idea quite yet. The tentative bite turned out to be delicious. Artemis cleared his plate in a couple minutes and Holly's smile only widened with each bite. If he had been paying any attention to her face the devilish grin would've stopped him from eating another succulent morsel.
"Well Holly, delicious. You'd make quite the housewife you know." Artemis teased. Her grin faded and she gave him a warning glance. "I mean…you'd do well in the kitchen as a full-time cook." Artemis continued. A swift punch to his chest shut him up. Once his breath returned the boy choked out, "I think I'll view the amount you hit me as a measure of affection. So obviously you love me. Or I'm wrong and you are a sadist." Holly winked and mouthed "The second option." Artemis ran a hand through his raven-black hair and sighed. Any relationship with her would be fraught with danger…and bruises.
The two made quick work of the cleanup and shared a glance. Artemis looked at her with a vampiric grin growing on his face. Holly involuntarily backed away a step. She hated that expression due to the sheer malevolence that radiated from it. In this mood Artemis's plans never bore sweet fruit. "What Artemis?" Holly warily asked, finger automatically twitching towards her empty Neutrino holder. The boy silently reached into his pocket and pressed a button on the remote inside.
A familiar beat pumped into the room and Holly groaned. He liked watching her dance far too much. She couldn't do anything about it either. At full magic a good beat would carry her away before she could stop herself. Relaxing into the beat, the elf closed her eyes and danced in place. Artemis watched wide-eyed. Music made her so alive to him. Every swish of her hips and graceful motion screamed that life loved to party. Fairies were a good example of that.
The fast-paced beat swept all of Holly's resistance to the far corners of her mind. She gave herself totally into the music. Her hands slowly trailed down the contours of her body while Holly jived sinuously. Magic flared into the air; an aura radiated from the elf and ensnared the human in the room. All he desired in this singular moment stood in front of him. A wistful smile touched Holly's face as she thought how Artemis would feel in her arms. A thought burst its way through the wall of song in her head. Well, grab him then. Holly really wondered why that idea never occurred before. Better late than never.
Holly opened her eyes and glared at her tormentor. Reaching forward, the elf snatched his hand and pulled him closer. If she had to dance then so did he. Artemis sputtered; she never did this before. "I don't dance." he said with a measure of his usual calm. That calm took a quick vacation to Hawaii as Holly's soft hands trailed across his shirt and stretched up to grab his shoulders.
"You need to learn sometime." Holly replied and pushed her hand into his pocket. Before he can do anything more than gasp, she pulled the remote out, cranked the volume up, and tossed the device nonchalantly into the living room. A wicked smile crossed her face and Artemis found himself with his hands as low as they can go on her back while Holly winked at him rather lecherously. They came to a quick arrangement regarding the height difference. Holly's movement with the beat infected Artemis and he started to move. His first feeble attempt drew a groan from Holly but as with everything else the teen really hated to lose. I can do this.
Holly laughed with delight; Artemis wasn't horrible and he learned fast. Fairy standards judged him worse than a no-legged dwarf but she didn't think they played exactly fair. Most humans don't spend years of their lives frolicking around to the slightest bit of music. Besides, the feel of his hands exhilarated her. Deciding that the kitchen really didn't fit the mood, Holly broke out of his embrace and dragged the hapless human into the living room. She backed away from him and once again transformed into a beautiful fey creature with a mane of living fire. Artemis watched for ten seconds then growled. He couldn't restrain himself any longer. Something in him yelled "Mine!" when he looked at Holly.
Striding forward, Artemis roughly pulled Holly against him. The two began a somewhat fast-paced routine that took them around the room. Artemis grinned and upped their whirls a notch. He had to exploit her tiny frame after all. A peal of laughter broke free from her throat as Artemis pulled her into the air. She really didn't weigh that much and the teen had gotten stronger in the ensuing years after their last adventure. The independent and strong-willed captain secretly felt safe in his arms. She wouldn't admit it even to herself though. Holly's hair ruffled in the wind created by Artemis's spins and she closed her eyes. Suddenly his hands left her waist and the sensation of falling greeted her before she landed on the couch. "Hey! What was that for?" she grumbled after settling her racing heart.
Artemis laughed and moved toward her while dancing to the music. "For fun of course. I wanted to see you fly through the air due to something I did rather than those wings you're always enjoying." Holly's slight anger abated as fast as it came. She took the hand extended towards her and led him through a bit more complicated dance. He tripped up a little but managed not to crush her feet. Given enough time I can make him fairly proficient. A particularly enthusiastic spin by Holly knocked a flowered vase off a table but Artemis automatically put his hand out and caught it. The two stopped in amazement; neither expected that result. "Wow. Nice save Arty." Holly breathed. The boy could only nod in response.
The elf began to tire slightly. Normally dancing was a hobby she could do for hours but that lack of sleep quickly sapped her weakened stamina. A spark of magic jumped into Artemis's hand from Holly and he twitched. He memorized the strange sensation for later examination; it had felt almost pleasurable. Holly's eyes shone with mischief as another spark hit him. "Come on, that feels so weird!" he complained. A lull in the music let some of the fever enshrouding Holly's mind to flee. She pulled away and grinned at her friend before pushing some of her sweaty hair off her face.
"You were fine. Just need some more practice." she encouraged. Artemis shrugged; he had been paying more attention to how she felt against him than the actual dancing. He excused himself to the restroom while Holly browsed the fridge for something to drink. Walking into the room, Artemis stopped dead in his tracks. Of all the things to choose…This is going to be a fun experiment.
"Holly, why'd you pick that?" he asked. The elf usually disdained anything that wasn't pure juice, preferring the fairy-level cleanliness of beverages.
Holly looked at the can in her hand and shruged. She was feeling a bit adventurous and wanted to see if anything didn't taste horribly polluted to her. The drink definitely didn't rank on her list of favorites but she drank it without gagging. Artemis looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "What's wrong?"
"Please tell me you didn't drink the whole thing." he asked fearfully. Holly shook the empty can in response and he groaned. "Oh dear…"
"What? Tell me already!" Holly had a spark of fear flare in her chest. He hadn't looked that afraid since their last scuffle with Koboi.
"I drank one of those once. I basically went insane for a couple hours afterwards. You're roughly half my size; therefore the effect should at least be doubled in you. Unless your magic purges it well…ever seen a hyperactive toddler on a sugar high? That will be you." Artemis replied. Holly winced and tossed the can into the garbage. She could already feel the slightest tingling. The sensation was distracting; it was akin to pieces of her body shielding independently. Artemis groaned. Holly on an energy drink will be a nightmare.