Just a little something I came up after last night's episode and what I thought it meant. Probably wrong since Haven's starting to get juicy with all the mystery. Please read and review, I love to read what you guys think. This will probably remain a one-shot.-
Who was she?
Audrey Parker had always wondered about where she came from and who her people were. It was not uncommon for an orphan to ask these questions and it was not uncommon for an orphan to never find the answers. That was life and unlike the movies, you didn't always get a plot or an ending that tied things up neatly so that everything made sense.
The one thing that Audrey was always sure about was herself, of who she was. No matter where she lived, how many foster parents she went through or what circumstances were thrown her way, she knew that she was Audrey Parker. She knew that she was strong and that she had a purpose which was to help people. When she discovered the world of law enforcement as a teenager, reading every book over the subject she could get her hands on and watching cop shows on T.V., she thought that she had finally found her calling. She was apparently very wrong in that assumption.
Who the hell was she? Really?
She had lost track of how long she had been standing in front of the mirror that was attached to the top of the dresser in the motel room she had been living out of ever since she had arrived in Haven, Maine.
Haven. What a joke.
At first Audrey thought that the name of the town was fitting, especially after a few weeks of dealing with the Troubles and knowing that this town was probably the only place where people who were afflicted could live their lives without everything dissolving into a witch hunt or people rallying in the streets like an angry mob out to get the freak of the week. She was beginning to think that maybe Haven would be her home from now on. Right now though, she wanted nothing more than to throw all of her belongings into her rental car and take off.
Staring at her face in the mirror and comparing it to the face on the unfolded copy of the newspaper photo from the Colorado Kid murder scene, Audrey could feel her panic start to build and it was making her head and chest hurt. She ripped off the photo she had just taped onto the mirror so that she could study their faces side by side, crumpled it up and tossed it across the room.
Was she Lucy Ripley?
It wasn't possible. If she were Lucy Ripley, why hadn't she aged? Why couldn't she remember being Lucy Ripley? Most important, how did she have all the memories and experiences of Audrey Parker?
Who in the hell was she?
It was starting to become difficult for her to breathe. The more Audrey tried to slowly take in deep breaths, the choppier her breathing became. Her fingers, which were clutching the edge of the dresser, were starting to ache as her grip tightened and the burning in the back of her eyes was warning her that dramatic crying would start soon if she didn't do something. Gasping, she shoved herself away from the dresser and that awful mirror.
She had never really understood how people could feel claustrophobic, it seemed silly to be afraid of something that couldn't really hurt you but now she was literally feeling the walls closing in on her and it wasn't a pleasant feeling at all. She had to get out.
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It took Audrey twenty minutes to realize that it was raining and starting to get dark as she trudged across various sidewalks taking her from one side of Haven to the other. She hadn't thought to bring her coat. Hell, she didn't even have her keys on her. All she needed was to get out of that room, away from the mirror, the picture and the questions. Unfortunately, she couldn't run away from herself so the questions remained in her head, swirling around as she tried to think about and remember her childhood. Had all her memories of the orphanage, the foster homes, really happened and what did it all mean if they did or didn't? Why couldn't she ever remember how she got that damn scar on the bottom of her foot? Who was she?
It wasn't until she almost walked into Nathan that she realized he had driven by in his truck and stopped, honking to get her attention. Since that had failed, he had gotten out of the vehicle and had jogged over, blocking her way so that she was forced to deal with him.
"What the hell are you doing, Parker? You look like shit and where's your coat? You do realize it's raining," he said, crossing his arms and scowling at her.
Audrey just stood there. She couldn't decide if she wanted to speak or not. Really, she didn't want to talk to Nathan. She didn't want to explain what was happening because once someone else knew, then it had the potential of being real. However, she knew if she stayed silent, she would crack. If she spoke it might overwhelm her though, like the lid popping off a pot of water that was boiling over.
"Audrey, what's wrong?" Nathan asked voice lowered as he ducked his head closer to hers, light blue eyes wide with concern as the rain soaked through his denim jacket and flattened his short dark hair against his head.
She opened her mouth with the intention of speaking but all that came out was a broken sob. Did that sound just come out of her?
With a speed that surprised both of them, Nathan moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. Her cries were muffled against the soft cotton of his worn t-shirt and she looped her arms around his middle underneath his jacket, clutching handfuls of his shirt. She hadn't realized that she was cold and that there were goose bumps covering her naked arms but once she was surrounded by Nathan's heat she started to shiver.
"Audrey," Nathan spoke again, louder and with more authority, "what the hell is wrong?"
The story spilled out of her. She told him about being able to bring James back for those short moments by holding onto him, about how he knew Lucy and kept confusing Audrey with her and his comment about the broken glass leaving a large scar on the bottom of Lucy's foot. Audrey had a large scar on the bottom of her foot and she couldn't remember how she had gotten it. Audrey was identical to Lucy, according to the Colorado Kid picture and anyone who had known the woman and was willing to talk about her. Audrey could tell by the way Nathan stiffened once she mentioned the scar that he understood what she was telling him, why she was so upset.
"You think that you're Lucy," he said, his chin resting on the top of her head.
Audrey nodded against him. Nathan's body heat was like putting a heating pad against a cramping muscle. She felt herself relax against him and once she loosened up she felt Nathan do the same. Thankfully, he kept his arms locked around her, one arm flattened against her shoulder blades and the other low and around her waist. She was surrounded by him and it was safe, comforting and felt way too good for her to ruin by over thinking about how inappropriate this was. While they were friends, she and Nathan wrapped around each other like this was a bit more intense then your garden variety friendly hug. Actually, they'd never even really hugged before.
"I don't know," she said, her voice lower and huskier then usual. "I just don't know anything right now."
She felt his chest rise and fall against her cheek as he sighed deeply.
"Well, we can't hang out here in the rain all day, someone's bound to look out their window or drive by any second and then we'll be the talk of the town by sunrise," he said and Audrey reluctantly pulled away from him although Nathan hadn't let her completely go.
"If you suggest we go for some pancakes, I may have to hit you," Audrey said, a small smile tugging on the corners of her mouth.
Nathan smiled back but his eyes still looked concerned and a little haunted.
"How about we go to my house, order a pizza and talk or not talk about this some more," he said, rubbing his hands up and down her arms as she started to shiver again.
Audrey couldn't help but note how touchy feely Nathan was being and had been for the last few weeks. For a guy who couldn't feel he sure seemed to brush against her or casually touch her a lot. Not that she was complaining.
"Alright, but you're showing me your movie collection and I reserve the right to mock you for its contents," she said, rubbing the tears out of eyes as she turned around and walked with Nathan towards his truck.
"This coming from the woman who liked 'Twilight'," Nathan said, reaching over and holding her hand with his.
"Like you're any better? I realize 'The Goonies' is an American classic but you take it to the extreme. It's not normal for a grown man to quote that movie word for word."
Walking with Nathan towards his truck Audrey realized there were two things she could be sure about at that moment. First, no matter what she was Audrey Parker and nothing was going to change that. Second, even if she couldn't trust herself or her memories, she could always trust Nathan Wournos.