Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to their respective owners.
Summary: Catherine reflects on losing Warrick, and how she felt and still feels about him
Author's Note: Based on "Goodbye" by Martina McBride.
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Goodbye
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It had been a long, stressful week. After finishing the second of two double shifts, Nick and Greg had decided to head to a diner for breakfast and try to drown their memories of the past week in overpriced pancakes and pulpy orange juice. They had invited Catherine along, but she declined, claiming she was exhausted. And that had been the truth; she intended to go home, take a shower, and then sleep for hours.
Despite her intentions, Catherine found herself kneeling in front of a granite stone in Woodlawn Cemetery at eight o'clock in the morning for the fourth time that month.
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Occurred to me the other day
You've been gone now a couple years
Well I guess it takes a while
For someone to really disappear
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From time to time, she'd forget he wasn't alive anymore. She'd be walking down the hallway at the lab with Nick and she'd turn around, expecting to see his muscular six-foot frame following her.
Sometimes, her telephone would ring and she would answer, almost forgetting that his deep, smooth voice would never again be on the other end of the line.
Now and then, she would answer a knock at her door, only to be surprised when she wasn't greeted by his charming grin and dazzling olive eyes.
It was almost too easy to forget he was really gone.
……….
And I remember where I was when the word came about you
It was a day much like today
The sky was bright and wide and blue
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Phone calls like that don't come very often, but when they do, time seems to stop for a moment.
It had been a good day; the whole team had been enjoying breakfast together less than an hour before the call came. When Catherine answered her phone that morning, she knew something was wrong before Brass told her what had happened.
"We need you Cath…something bad happened."
Once the words left his mouth, she knew she had to face whatever had happened. She knew she had lost a friend.
But until she got to that alley, she hadn't known she'd lost Warrick.
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And I wonder where you are
And if the pain ends when you die
And I wonder if there was
Some better way to say goodbye
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Warrick hadn't had an easy life. He'd had to grow up too quickly in a town that wasn't kind to people who weren't rich, powerful, or beautiful.
But he was beautiful to Catherine. Beautiful, and strong, and secure. Everything she needed, everything she wanted.
Everything she should have fought for, but didn't.
Too bad she hadn't realized he was worth fighting for until it was too late.
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Today my heart is big and sore
It's trying to push right through my skin
Won't see you anymore
I guess that's finally sinking in
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After Warrick was buried, the team stayed in the cemetery long after the rest of the crowd had dispersed. They spent their time reminiscing, and everyone but Catherine said their goodbyes.
She hadn't been able to say goodbye that day, or when she visited his grave every day for the next week, or on any of the occasions when she had found herself in the graveyard in the months since his death.
She still hadn't said goodbye, and now she knew she never really would.
Catherine, who had never considered herself to be religious, held on to the hope that there was some sort of life after death so she could see Warrick once again.
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'Cause you can't make somebody see
With the simple words you say
All their beauty from within
Sometimes they just look away
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If she could turn back time, Catherine would tell Warrick that he wasn't alone…that she would always be there for him.
She would tell him that she loved him.
But since time only marches forward, Catherine simply traced her finger over the engraved words 'Warrick Brown' as a single tear rolled down her cheek.
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And I wonder where you are
And if the pain ends when you die
And I wonder if there was
Some better way to say goodbye
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