Disclaimer: I own nothing!
ps: i wrote this while im depressed of something... so don't hate me... and please tell me what you think... this is a oneshot and im not planning to make a sequel. :)
"I breathe you in with smoke in the backyard lights. We used to laugh until we choke into the wasted nights. Those were the best nights of my life, now I sleep alone. So don't, don't wake me up, cause my thrill is gone. And the sunset's turning red behind the smoke."
Forever and Alone.
I still remember that night. There are only the two of us at the back of your pick-up truck. You decorated the back with soft pillows and blankets. Those were the nights were everything is peaceful. We just lay there inhaling each other's scent, contented with each other's company. Were just gazing on the stars and talking quietly. I looked into your eyes and you do the same. And just by that we understand each other, that's the way I say I love you. Then you open you open your lips and speak in the softest voice I ever heard I love you too.
Those kinds of nights were the best for me, even if there's no fancy food or candles nor romantic music.
I miss those.
"And you've got me sewn into this bed the taste of you and me will never leave my lips again, under the blinding rain. I wanna hold your hand so tight. I'm gonna brake my wrist. And if the vulture sings to night, I'm gonna join right in."
Now all I can do is lie in my bed and listen to the tip tap of the rain.
I miss you holding me. I miss the way you would go in my house just to keep me company, because my parents are on a business trip. But most of all I miss you being at my side. Lulling me with your lullabies as I fell into a deep slumber and when I woke up I would see your angelic face beside mine. Then you would open your eyes slowly and smile at me "Hey, why didn't you wake me up?" then you would kiss me in the lips.
I miss the way you hold my hand when we're walking. The way you would squeeze it gently telling me to calm down, everything will be alright. And magically my body will respond to that touch calming itself.
I look at the spaces between my fingers, where your hands truly belong, where they fit perfectly.
Where are they?
"I'll sing along. Cause I don't know any other song. I'll sing along, but I'm barely hanging on. No I'm barely hanging on. By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone. Cause there's nothing to do but scream at the drunken moon"
But what happened? All I need now is you. All I want now is you.
The pain I'm feeling now is unbearable.
When we broke up I tried to put on a façade. It worked but you're so good at trying to break it. As time pass it started to crumble. Each day you rub it in my face that you've move on. That you have fewer problems now. That you can flirt/hug any girl you want to now.
I didn't know what happened to us? This isn't the way it's supposed to be.
"This isn't fair. Don't you try to blame this on me? My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me. God dammit I can barely say your name, so I'll try to write it, and fill the pen with blood from the sink."
On that game show you shouted that you're not happy with our relationship. Why? Wasn't I good enough? Good enough anymore? But later that day or even days before that you started to listen to me lesser. You didn't even say goodnight or good morning. You started to hold my hands less. You started to ignore my texts and calls. Then I asked you if there was a problem? You ignore my question and ask me what I wanted to eat instead. You didn't even ask if I have a problem. And yes I have. That is the day my mom told me that my grandfather died. Meaning fewer people who loves me and understands me.
The night we broke up I ran into my room and started packing. Because that was the day we go to my grandfather's funeral.
"Jadelyn? Are you ready?" my mom asked me. I swallowed my cries and replied with the strongest voice I could muster "Be there in a sec."
When we arrived there and saw my grandfather's coffin, I couldn't take it anymore. I went into my room and locked the door. I took out the old blade that I left behind. Still good as new. I put the blade on my skin, shivering as it made its way down.
I felt that familiar feeling, that euphoric feeling that made everything less painful. I thought of it, Grandpa's dead and Beck's gone. The two men who understands me and protects me, now gone. The blood trickled from my wrist, instead of stopping it, I let flow for more seconds.
I dipped my finger from my own pool of blood, and wrote Beck's name and Grandpa's at the wall beside the bathtub.
I started to cry.
"But don't just say you should sing my name pretend that it's a song cause forever it's yours. We can sing it on the way home."
I don't know what happened to us, to you. But if you do, please tell me.
Beck, I might be gone for a long time or maybe forever.
But I tell you this, you'll always have a special place in my heart. You are my firsts. You are my everything.
Before I leave, I want you to promise me, even if were not together anymore that you will never forget me. I know that this is our end game. And I know that from the start you will get tired of me. This is all my fault, I should have not fall too much.
Maybe we can meet again.
Wish you all the best. Take care of Cat, don't let her have too many candies and hurt any boy who will try to hurt her. And for Robbie if someone bullies him make sure that someone gets the right punishment. And for Andre be always there for him, you're his best friend. And… for Vega, I mean Tori, just take care of her. You know what I mean. Just keep them happy.
And how can I forget you. Take care of you're self too…
I gotta go… Don't let the zombies bite.
I love you.
Jade stood up and get the camera that's perched between her books. She put a tag in the side that said two simple words; for Beck.
Jade went to the Hollywood arts that night, sneaking up to put the camera in Beck's locker.
But I guess the Fate is just a mischievous fellow. In that same night Beck is coming home from a rehersal.
They bumped on each other.
"Jade, why you here. I mean not that I am- "
"I'm just dropping this off…" she showed Beck the camera.
"For who- " he stopped at the mid when he saw the name.
Instead of talking she handed him the camera and hugged him tightly. Beck hugged her back, worrying about her ex-girlfriend's state.
They stayed for a few seconds standing at the hallway, hugging each other.
Then Jade whispered in the softest voice she could muster "Good bye Beck. Be safe always." She let out a breath. Where Beck responded with a shiver ran in his spine.
Jade let go of Beck, then started to walk away, she glanced back one more time. "Don't let the Zombies Bite, Beckette."
Later that night when Beck arrived from school, he placed the camera in his coffee table.
The thing seems to haunt him and calling his name, so he picked it up and connected it to his tv, then he pressed play.
And at the same time the attendant called flight 143 saying it's passenger must beat the white line.
Jade got up from her seat and took her suitcases with her. She opened her pearphone looking at her pictures, when she saw a picture of her and Beck on the beach, calm and smiling. She felt a pang on her chest.
But she has to move on.
A/N : ermagerd… I'm so sorry if this is crappy. Please review! And if you read my other unfinished story can you give me an idea? Im having an authors block right now…. Soo sorry…