The first time he had made an impact on her was the night she had gotten released from Doctor Carson's care. It was twilight and she found herself wandering the back area of The Hilltop for the tent that the doctor had told her was set up for her. When she found it, she quickly ripped off her boots, ready to dive into her sleeping bag and try to disappear, but the sound of a shovel hitting dirt caught her attention. She glanced up and saw him. He was digging under the old oak tree, already waist deep in a hole. She walked over to him barefoot. It was once she got closer that she saw it.
Her husband's body was wrapped in a blanket, lying next to the hole–grave- that Jesus was digging. She wishes she could say that she started crying, but she had recently found herself out of tears and numb to the world.
Jesus looked up at her, "I wanted to do this for you. So you have somewhere to visit. It didn't seem right to burn him when you were unconscious and sick."
She watches as he finishes digging and carefully lowers her husband's body into the grave. She grabs Glenn's hand, right before he is placed in the ground, and places a kiss to the cold skin. She says a silent goodbye to her best friend. Jesus finishes filling the grave with dirt, then gently squeezes her shoulder and leaves her to grieve.
He finds her there the next morning, curled up and freezing on the patch of earth that now holds her husband. He helps her to stand and guides her into her tent. He places a pair of socks on her frozen feet and then wraps her in a couple blankets.
She whispers her thanks to him and then rolls over and retreats into her dreams.
About a month later, she was searching through the library in the house, looking for something to read. Most of the residents at Hilltop ignore her, so she likes to read and get lost in the pages of a book, where she can make friends with the characters and go on adventures with them, if only for a little while.
On this day, she had planned to grab and book and then hide in her tent, as the Savior's were coming to collect their rations. She refused to see them. She just wanted to get her book and be left alone.
She absentmindedly rubs her belly as she searches. She had woken up a few days ago to find that she could barely button her jeans and that her once flat stomach had a slight curve to it. She knows how excited Glenn would have been, had he been alive. It had been just over a month since he had died, and while the pain was still fresh, the growth of the little life inside of her has helped her be strong.
When she finds a book that she hadn't read yet, she grabs it and turns to leave, but a voice stops her.
It's Gregory. She presses her ear against the vent. He's talking to someone. What she hears causes her blood to boil.
"The Saviors are going to go easy on us now. They have the Alexandrians to bully. Thanks to me, your wonderful leader and boss."
She cocks her head, wondering what the hell he was talking about. Someone else speaks.
"I still don't think it was right, what you did."
"I kept us safe."
"You ratted out Rick's group the minute you got the chance. They might have actually been able to kill him and set us free."
Maggie slams the book on the ground and before she can think, she is storming into Gregory's office. He looks shocked to see her storm in. The Hilltop resident he was speaking to awkwardly backs out of the room.
"It's your fault."
"Natalie, you misunderstood me, I simply-"
"You killed my husband. You led Negan right to us."
She tries to control her emotions. She tries to overcome the urge to kill him, right then and there. So instead, she threatens him.
"You just wait until Rick hears."
She stands in front of Glenn's grave later that night, crying a fresh batch of tears over the thought that her husband's death happened because of that coward. Gregory ran to Negan the second he got the chance and turned them over. She stiffens as she hears footsteps approach her.
A cold hand wraps around her shoulders. Gregory tightens his grip on her.
"Now my dear, I can't have you running off to Rick. I did what I had to do to keep this place safe."
She resists the urge to spit at him, claiming he only did it to save his own skin. He nods.
"Just like what I'm about to do is to save myself."
She glances up in time to see him about to plunge a knife into her back. She reacts without thinking, but he's bigger than her. He holds her down and straddles her. She thinks of her baby, of her husband and how ironic it is that both mother and child are about to die on father's grave, when Gregory's weight is suddenly forced off of her.
She looks over. Jesus has him pinned down and in a headlock. Behind him, the residents of Hilltop stand, shocked. So they had all witnessed Gregory trying to murder her.
She brushes herself off and stands. The residents back away as she walks towards them. When she announces what had happened and tells them what Gregory had done, they seem shocked and dismayed. Jesus stands beside her as two other Hilltop residents take Gregory into custody. He makes an announcement to the crowd.
He tells them that if they want to survive, then they need Maggie. They need her to lead. He tells them they don't have to like her, but they have to respect her. His voice leaves no room for questions, so when he asks for a second vote to make her the leader, multiple hands go into the air.
They trust him, and he trusts her, so there forth they trust her to lead them.
Gregory is executed the next day for treason and attempted murder. Jesus stands by her side as she watches his body dangle from a tree branch. He places his hand on her lower back and murmurs that this is what was to happen. She nods.
Months pass. Her belly grows larger and she develops more friendships with The Hilltop residents. They trust her more and more each day. She has proven herself a valuable leader, and with her leadership, the mood in the Hilltop changes drastically. People laugh and joke with each other now. They greet each other in passing and she's even spotted some relationships begin to blossom. People no longer look out for themselves, but for the community and each other.
No friendship, however, compares to that of hers and Jesus. He had helped to move her into Gregory's bedroom, and they often spend hours in there talking before they retire to bed. He was there when the baby kicked for the first time. She had grabbed his hand and quickly placed it on her belly, watching his face split into a wide grin when he feels the tiny flutters against his hand.
He is also there when she wakes, screaming from nightmares of her husband's murder. His bedroom is next to hers, their shared wall being paper thin, which allows him to hear every nightmare she has. He always has the same response. He taps on the wall, in a calm, soothing pattern. If she taps back, he knows she is okay and will fall asleep soon. When she ignores it, he comes into her room, gathers her in his arms and holds her tight. He allows her to sob over her nightmares, and then gently lays her down when she falls asleep, tucks her in, and goes back to his own room.
One night, she found herself too hot to sleep. She had debated about going to his room to talk with him, but didn't want to bother him. After tossing and turning for a few hours, she lays back and figures, what the hell? She reaches her hand into her pajama bottoms and allows herself to feel for the first time in ages.
The next morning, when Jesus won't meet her eyes, she realizes just how thin their wall is and feels herself flush in embarrassment that he had heard everything.
When she had reached the 9-month mark in her pregnancy, she began to understand how much Jesus cared for her. She knew he had kept in touch with her group in Alexandria, even began to form relationships with them.
She was sitting at her desk, going over plans to expand the west wall when she hears a knock. Jesus slides the door open.
"Some people are here to meet with the leader of Hilltop." She shoots him an odd look; confused as to why he is acting so weird, when Jesus steps aside. Her old group from Alexandria walks in and they seemed shocked to see her sitting at the desk.
"Maggie? You're leading Hilltop now?" Rick begins to approach her, but Jesus stops him with a touch on his shoulder. She tries to keep her emotions in check, but being 9 months pregnant, it's easier said than done. She's tempted to tell them all to leave, to never come back. She hasn't heard from them in months, and the one time they come to Hilltop, it's to see the leader, not her.
She stands and watches as their eyes all go to her belly. It's huge now and causes her to waddle instead of walk. She tries to be intimidating, but she knows she's giving off as much intimidation as a duck walking on ice. She sees the way the women smile as she waddles towards Rick.
"Is there something I can do for you?" She doesn't miss the way Jesus steps in front of her, almost to shield her from the people of her past.
"Negan's done. The Savior's have fallen. We came to let you know that the war is over."
She covers her mouth, tears filling her eyes. She looks at Jesus, sees him smile at her, and then falls into his embrace. He pulls her close and holds her as she cries. He whispers in her ear about how it's over, about how Glenn's death has been avenged.
She doesn't miss the glances her past group sends each other as she snuggles into his embrace. Let them think whatever the hell they want.
When she goes into labor a week later, it's Jesus who stays by her side the whole time. He looks a little green when the head comes out, but he stays by her head and holds her hand. When the little boy is placed on her chest, she doesn't miss the tears in his eyes. He thanks her for allowing him to take part in the birth of her child. It is then that he pulls a thick package out from under the bed. He tells her that he wanted the baby and her to have a part of Glenn. When she opens it, she sobs hysterically. He had taken all of Glenn's shirts and sowed them together, forming a queen-sized blanket. He wraps the blanket around her and the baby and she lets out a sigh, as she smell's a scent she thought she would never smell again. She thanks him for the blanket. He places a kiss on her forehead and then leaves her to bond with her son.
He becomes her main pillar of support during that first year. He is there through baby Hershel's first tooth, cold and word. When Hershel takes his first steps at 11 months old, it's to toddle towards Jesus. She grins as she watches her baby boy become mobile.
"Gigi!" He exclaims. Jesus laughs and lifts the little boy into the air. He jokes about being stuck with that name for the rest of his life. She laughs. The baby mimics his mom and lets out a belly laugh too.
On Hershel's 5th birthday, Jesus becomes the best person ever when he deliveries the little boy his very own pony. It's a fat little thing, with brown and white spots, but Hershel loves him.
"His name is Blueberry." Jesus says. Hershel laughs and asks why.
"Because I found him eating all the blueberries off our bushes behind the north wall."
Maggie watches as Jesus spends the rest of the night leading Blueberry around the paddock with Hershel on his back. Hershel talks a mile a minute about how he can't wait to go on runs with Blueberry.
"Gigi, when can I go out on a run? I can ride Blueberry. I promise we'll keep up!" Hershel flings himself down on the pony's neck and buries his face in its mane.
Later that night, with Hershel sound asleep in his room, her and Jesus flop down on her bed. She laughs at him.
"I have no idea how you convinced him to not sleep in the barn tonight."
Jesus laughs at her, exclaiming that he will never tell his secrets.
"He loves you." She tells him. She knows that he loves her son too. Her little boy, who looks so much like his father, idolizes Jesus.
"I love him." He says. She glances up at him. He leans up on one elbow, hovering over her. He moves his face down towards her, but pauses an inch away from her lips. He's giving her a choice.
She thinks about this man, who has been by her side since day one. He is easily her best friend in the whole world. Not a day goes by where they don't spend time together. Not only that, but he has stepped in to try to fill Glenn's shoes and be there for her son. He has been there for every milestone, while making it abundantly clear to little Hershel that his real daddy was in heaven and that he was trying to be his friend and father figure. She glances down at her left hand. Glenn's engagement still sits on her finger. She pulls away from Jesus and sits up. She sees the dejected look on his face. He gets up to leave, but she tugs him back down, slips the ring off her finger and sets it on her nightstand. She pulls him back on top of her. This time, she allows her lips to meet his.
For the first time in many years, the name that falls from her lips during her orgasm isn't Glenn's.
They never label what they have, but she knows that this is as close to domestic bliss as one can get. They spend every night together, discovering each other's bodies. He doesn't shy away from her stretch marks or her breasts that sag slightly from the result of being a mother. He worships her body. He makes her feel as if she is the sexist woman in the world. He knows his way around a woman's body. Every time leaves her sated and aching.
One morning, she was halfway under the bed, trying to grab Glenn's engagement ring that had been accidently knocked off her nightstand in a moment of passion. She goes to shove it in her pocket, where she had been keeping it for the past few months, when Paul (she could no longer refer to him as Jesus since they started making love) stops her. He pulls it from her grasp and slips it on to a chain, then clasps it around her neck. He kisses the nape of her neck.
"Now he'll always be with you."
When Hershel turns 7, they decide to take him beyond the walls. A few residents were hooking up some of the horses and wagons to drop off supplies to Alexandria and her and Paul decided to allow Hershel to go. Maggie saddled up her horse, watching while Paul helped Hershel saddle Blueberry. The three of them would be riding in front of the wagons.
"There you go now, pull the girth tight. Good job, bud."
He helps Hershel into the saddle then walks over to her and grabs the reins to his horse. He glances over and makes sure Hershel had left the area with his pony, before quickly pushing her against the wall. He slips his hand into her pants and quickly works her to orgasm. She bites his shoulder, trying to hold in her moans. When finished, he slips his hand out, pecks her cheek and then mounts his horse and rides out of the stables, as if he hadn't just made her a puddle.
The ride to Alexandria is uneventful, taking a majority of the day. Hershel and Blueberry trot alongside her and Paul. He points out things that he has never seen before. Paul patiently explains to him what the things are. They get a laugh when he points out an old grocery store, his face going slack with shock at the thought that people used to be able to walk into a building and get whatever food they wanted.
When they ride up to the gates of Alexandria, they see Sasha wave to them from the watchtower. They ride inside the gates and are greeted by her old group. She seems them once or twice a year, usually during their annual trading market. She is greeting with hugs all around. Even Daryl pulls her tight to him.
They introduce Hershel to Judith, who looks more and more like Lori every time she sees her. Hershel then introduces Judith to Blueberry, who mouths at her pockets, looking for treats.
"Sweetheart, I'm gonna help unload the wagons. You stay here and catch up." He lets her pet name slip, clearly not thinking and she cringes internally. She watches as her group's stares instantly go to her. She shrugs at them.
"Does he treat you right?" She nods.
"Does he treat Hershel right?" She nods again.
"Glenn would want you to be happy." She fiddles with the ring around her neck.
"I am."
She turns and stares at Paul. He has Hershel thrown over one shoulder and a sack of potatoes over the other.
He tosses Hershel into Abraham's arms.
"Here ya go, 45 lbs of potatoes"
"Gigi! I'm not potatoes!" The little boy exclaims. Paul pretends to look shocked and runs away, screaming about talking potatoes. Hershel shrieks with laughter and chases after him.
She still has days where she can't move from bed. She still wakes screaming for Glenn as nightmares of his death play on repeat in her mind.
But Paul is always there for her. He holds her while she cries, laughs with her until they can't breath.
She misses Glenn with every fiber of her being. He was her first love, her first marriage and the father of her child. But he was ripped away from her. She watches as Paul and her child, Glenn's son, run around Alexandria, laughing and dodging each other.
She loves this man, too. She looks at her old group and knows they see what she sees.
She smiles.
Life is good again.