Title: You Can't Go Home Again
Author: Shlee Verde
Summary: AU (mostly likely). My take on the aftermath of the Season Finale. No slash. First Royal Pains fic so be gentle.
Rating: K
You Can't Go Home Again
Hank knew something was off the moment he entered their home. Borris' guest house was dark and quiet, still in a way that it had never been – not since he and Evan had moved in.
A cold lump settled in the pit of his stomach as he rushed up the stairs calling his brother's name. He froze when he saw the empty room. Evan was gone. No.
He ran back downstairs intent on finding anything, any clue, that would lead him to where his little brother had gone. He was brought up short by Evan's business card, which answered that question for him. Anger filled him – anger of being lied to a second time after Evan had promised, promised, not to do it again, anger that their dead-beat father had somehow gotten his hooks into Evan. So it was in the midst of that anger that he left Evan an accusatory voicemail. Asking him why Evan didn't tell him that their father took the money. And telling him not to come back until he'd fixed it.
He hadn't meant it. He really hadn't. He didn't care about the money at all. Evan was what mattered, Evan was his entire world. But in that one horrible moment, Hank had thrown away the best thing that he had in his life.
And months later, all Hank could do was regret it. He'd tried to fix it. He'd called back an hour later and left a message apologizing, assuring Evan that he still wanted him and that they'd work it out. When he didn't get a response, he'd called back the next day. The number was disconnected.
So he'd called all of Evan's friends. His old classmates. Ex-girlfriends. No one knew where Evan was. It was like his baby brother had disappeared off the face of the Earth. At that point, he'd broken the promise he'd made to himself over two decades earlier and tried to call his father. That number, like Evan's, was disconnected.
And that was when Hank had gotten scared.
He'd gone to Borris at that point, begging for his help. And Borris was only too eager to assist, his only complaint was that Hank had not come to him sooner. But all Borris could find was that Eddie had been arrested and was in federal prison on fraud charges. Two days later Hank got a check in Evan's handwriting for the amount of money stolen from the HankMed accounts. There was no other message. Evan's phone was still disconnected…and even Borris, with all of his connections, could not find any trace of the youngest Lawson.
Hank was miserable. When he'd told Evan to fix things, he'd never imagined that his little brother would leave. He sat in the painfully still boathouse, listening in vain for the sounds of constant motion that he automatically associated with Evan. There was nothing but quiet. Hank hated it.
He'd never wanted this. And he had no one to blame but himself.
****
Divya found herself thinking of Evan more often than a married woman should probably think of a man other than her husband.
The phone had rung a week after her she and Raj had married. No one had been on the line, so like any normal person, she had hung up. It happened the same time the next day and the next. Divya had been furious…until she realized who might be on the other end of the line. Just because Evan wouldn't, couldn't, connect with Hank didn't mean that he didn't need some sort of connection.
The next day when Divya answered the phone to dead air, she was ready. "Evan?"
She half expected him to hang up on her. He didn't.
But he didn't say anything either.
After a brief pause, Divya started to talk. About anything and everything. She filled him in on all the latest Hampton gossip. She bragged to him about the equestrian competition she had won only a week after he had left. She told him about her wedding, about how she hated the fact that she had gone through with it even though she couldn't imagine having done anything else. She was more open and frank with him about her unhappiness than she had been with anyone else. She talked for hours. Evan never spoke, but somehow she just knew he was hanging on her every word.
Finally she told him about HankMed. About the patients who asked after him. About how no one thought it was the same now that he was gone.
About Hank. "He really misses you, Evan." she finished.
There was a gasping breath that might have been a sob and then a sad whisper, "Goodbye, Divs."
He hung up. And he never called back.
****
Jill hadn't gotten to know Evan very well. But she couldn't help but miss him. Just based on how different Hank was without his brother.
She had known all along that if she decided to have a relationship with Hank, it would mean at the very least putting up with Evan. The younger brother was always there. Jill didn't mind it; she thought it was great in fact. Seeing the way that Evan looked at Hank, the open adoration in his eyes, and the way Hank would just appear more at ease whenever Evan was around…it was a connection Jill wished she had with her sisters.
Now that Evan was gone, Hank had gotten quiet. And just…sad. He would stare out into space at times and Jill would just know that he was thinking about Evan, wondering if he was okay, if he was healthy, if he was even alive.
She hadn't found the courage to tell Hank about the note she'd found on her desk a month after Eddie's arrest and Borris' failed search. The note that said only four words: Take care of him. It wasn't signed, but it was fairly obvious who it was from.
She hadn't known Evan, not really. But he had trusted her with the person that he loved most in the world…and she was failing miserably. She couldn't make Hank happy, not when such an essential part of himself had been ripped away. The irony was that Evan expected Jill to take care of Hank, when all Hank wanted was Evan. It made Jill want to cry.
But she tried. For all their sakes, she tried to take care of Hank.
Even though she knew it was not enough.
****
It wasn't that Evan didn't want to come home. He did, more than anything. But he just couldn't bring himself to go back.
Hank had always put him first. He'd taken care of him when Mom was too sick to and all through their time together in foster care. He'd become Evan's legal guardian at 18, when he should have been out at parties like every other college freshman. He'd done all of his undergraduate classes at night so that he was available to Evan during the day. He'd given up his childhood so his little brother could have one. Evan owed Hank everything.
And look how he'd repaid his big brother.
He understood Hank's anger. That's why he'd disconnected his phone and broke off all contact with Hank. Evan knew he deserved to be punished; this was his penance, finally solving a problem on his own, without needing his big brother to swoop in and save the day.
Calling Divya had been a moment of weakness. But he'd just had to know how Hank was doing and that HankMed had survived its brief financial crisis. Hearing that Hank missed him had hurt, but Hank would get better with time. He'd eventually realize the painful truth that Evan had finally forced himself to see - Hank was better off without him.
And for his brother's sake, Evan would never go back. Never.
No matter how much he wanted to.
End.
A/N: Okay that didn't go at all as planned. Originally I was going to have it end with a nice happy reunion and hugging and fluff. No, this didn't go as planned at all. Is it bad that I kinda like making everyone all angsty this way? I'll probably write a nice fluffy sequel to this if you guys want. Also got a few other Royal Pains ideas kicking around up there. Plus some other stuff. More to come. Hopefully. ~Verde