AN: Danara asked quite a while ago (wince) for some KKM fic to go up. So here's the most normal piece I have at the moment XD Written quite a while a so naturally, there are no references to the OVAs or Season 3
Cow Bells
I
Yuuri was beginning to have doubts about volunteering for this latest mission. A glance at the young blond man beside him revealed that Wolfram was, for once, in full agreement with him. If Yuuri didn't know better, he'd say that the dreadful scowl his fiancé wore hid fear.
xXx
It had all started innocently enough. Gwendal had called them all to his office. Yuuri trudged in with an excited Gunter on his heels to find Conrad and Wolfram already waiting for them. Yozak lounged in his customary position against the wall next to the large map of Shin Makoku.
Gwendal swept a stern look at those who had gathered and then began. "We've just received information on the whereabouts of the Demon Bell."
Yuuri blinked. "Demon Bell?"
Gwendal glared at an oblivious Gunter who broke into an impromptu lecture. "The Demon Bell was commissioned His Majesty the twenty-second, Arsenio von Roberski." He glanced at Yuuri, "Who, as you recall, was famous as a powerful military man."
Yuuri smiled weakly and tried to look like he remembered. Wolfram took one look at his face and made a disgusted sound.
"In his great wisdom King Arsenio decided he needed an artefact which could be used to summon his allies to his side."
Yozak snickered. "A cow bell."
Gunter continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, rapturous in his recitation of Shin Makoku's glorious history. "He decided on an object which was a symbol of Roberski. Roberski is a mountainous region and the chasing the elusive five-horned mountain cows is part of a man's coming of age-"
Conrad intervened to save them from further details. "When the Demon Bell was rung, it could be heard by all the Maou's allies and they knew to convene at a prearranged location. Unfortunately the bell was lost during the reign of the 23rd Maou. As it could not be taken to other countries, it is still believed to be somewhere in Shin Makoku."
"But why now? Why haven't previous Maous searched for it?" Yuuri looked to Conrad for an answer but it was Gwendal who answered.
"Mother decided it would be a good idea to use the bell to convene meeting of the countries allied with Shin Makoku. She asked Anissina to locate the bell." Gwendal's eyebrows meet in a fiercesome frown.
Yuuri got the idea that Gwendal had been dragged into the search and wisely didn't ask any questions.
Gwendal pointed to an area marked on the map which lay out on the desk. "The bell's location has been narrowed down to this area. We intend to send out a party to locate it and bring it back to the castle."
Yuuri looked at the map. "So when do we leave?"
Gwendal's eyebrows lowered into a frown. He cleared his throat to talk but Gunter interrupted.
"No, your Majesty! We still haven't finished revising the courting rituals of the lake kohki! I had a practical demonstration ready for this afternoon-"
Yozak made a choked noise from his spot along the wall which everyone ignored.
But Yuuri had learnt how to deter his aide by now. "Gunter this is the perfect time to gain practical experience in the rich and varied traditions of Shin Makoku."
Gunter seemed taken with that. His distress immediately melted into enthusiasm. "Oh your Majesty! Such devotion to the culture of your people!"
Yuuri turned a triumphant look at Gwendal and Conrad. Gwendal looked like something he'd eaten disagreed with him while Conrad wore one of his trademark amused indulgent smiles.
"Besides, this cow bell will only work for the Maou, won't it?" Yuuri made his final point. "I need to be there to make certain we have the right one."
xXx
Now Yuuri had the suspicion that he was going to be begging to return to the piles of paperwork he had left on his desk. Yozak had said that they needed to get their disguises together and he had to make certain that he had something that would fit them. Yuuri hadn't really been listening at the time - he'd been too excited at the thought of escaping Gunter and those never-ending pile of papers to pay much attention.
Yozak's words came rushing back now, though, as the four of them stared at the large chest Yozak had dragged forward from against the wall. It made an eerie scrapping sound that came right out of a horror movie.
Yuuri glanced over at Conrad for reassurance and received the usual warm smile. Somehow it wasn't as comforting as it usually was.
Yozak laughed, having caught the glance. "Don't worry, kiddo. When I'm finished with you no one will recognize you."
Yuuri shuddered, suddenly reminded of the sinister little laugh Yozak had given after laying out the reasons why donning a filly pink maid's outfit was in the demon king's best interests.
The clothes chest had suddenly become infinitely more frightening.
Even Wolfram's muttered 'wimp!' seemed to be lacking its force.
Yozak opened the chest. "So, your Majesty? Do you want to be a blond or a brunette?"