AN: This is for all the people who may have been severely traumatized by the original version of this story. And special thanks to the reviewer blahblah, whose comments inspired the idea for this. Enjoy!
Did I come at a Bad Time?
The door to the Hokage's office flew open and Shizune burst into the room. She stopped dead on the threshold, as a comical expression of utter shock manifested itself on her face.
At almost the same moment, a thick folder of unsigned mission reports slipped unheeded from her suddenly limp grasp. It fell to the floor as all good inanimate objects do when obeying the laws of gravity and, opening itself wide, strewed papers chaotically at the purple-robed medic's feet.
Yet despite the effort and three hours that Shizune had spent in compiling the reports into chronological order, then colour coding them by order of priority, she simply stood frozen in the doorway, locked in place by the horrific, unbelievable, shocking, bone-chilling sight that met her eyes.
Her first coherent thought was, "That's not what the Hokage's desk was meant for."
This thought was quickly followed by, "I didn't know Tsunade-sama had a fetish for green lycra."
There was a minute or so of stunned silence as the three occupants of the room, two of whom were in a rather compromising position on the polished hardwood surface of the Hokage's desk, tried to collect their wits.
Shizune, fighting down a wave of nausea and thinking that the prospect of permanent blindness had never looked so appealing, spoke first.
"Forgive me, Hokage-sama, did I come at a bad time?"
"Yes!" snapped Tsunade, with as much dignity as she could muster, which at the moment, wasn't much.
The man currently pinned to the desk beneath said Hokage spoke up, his teeth going PING! in a grin that would give the purple-clad woman nightmares for weeks to come.
"Forgive us, Shizune-san! Although this is a highly inappropriate occasion for such expressions of love, do not blame your leader. This is my entire fault; that I could not contain the all-consuming flame of my almost-youthful admiration and passion for my beloved Tsunade-sama, the woman who saved my precious subordinate, the blossoming flower who nurtures our village, the ravishing –"
Maito Gai's impassioned spiel was abruptly cut off as said blossoming flower, face now beet red, clapped a hand over his mouth.
Shizune gulped at the look on her employer's face. "I guess I'll come back in an hour then?"
Tsunade narrowed her eyes.
Shizune tried again. "Two, no, three hours?"
Tsunade's eyes were slits.
Shizune began to back out the door, hastily pushing the mission reports into a crumpled heap inside the room so as not to impede the door from closing securely.
"How about I just cancel all your appointments for the rest of today and, uh, lock the door after me?
Tsunade smiled. Gai managed to strike a pose, giving the dark-haired woman the thumbs up.
The door slammed shut and Shizune dazedly wandered down the hallway. She needed a drink, and she needed one NOW.
The Hokage immediately removed her hand from Gai's mouth. The cheeky grin he was wearing caused a shy giggle to escape her lips, hastily stifled by her other hand.
"That was…fantastic," said Gai, folding his arms behind his head. "You were AMAZING!"
A deep blush stained the blonde woman's porcelain cheeks as, still smiling demurely, she turned her head slightly away from the blindingly flashy grin of the man beneath her.
Then, with a movement so natural it could only be habit, her index fingers came together, the tips rubbing each other nervously.
"What's wrong?" asked the Beautiful Green Beast, raising an eyebrow. From long acquaintance, he knew what that habit meant.
"Ano…"
There was a soft popping sound, accompanied by a cloud of smoke. When it dissipated, the busty blonde Sannin was gone. In her place sat a small, slim girl, whose violet black hair, and huge, milky white eyes identified her as a member of Konoha's noblest living clan.
Hyuuga Hinata pushed back her hair, relieved to see the familiar short, black tresses again. That had been one of the longest times, outside a mission, that the sixteen year old chuunin had used Henge no Jutsu, and certainly the first time she had ever taken on the shape of the beautiful Godaime Hokage.
"Hinata-chan? What's wrong?" the deep voice of Maito Gai repeated.
The shy Hyuuga shivered. It was very disturbing hearing that voice saying those words. Again there was a puff of smoke, and the girl turned her head back. A pair of crystalline blue eyes, sparkling with mirth, met hers.
"Hehe, sorry Hinata-chan," grinned Konoha's most unpredictable sixteen year old jounin, a.k.a Uzumaki Naruto, "I was getting a pretty good view from this angle, but you must have been freaking out."
"Ano…it was a bit scary to be kissing Maito-san…" Hinata blushed suddenly. The only reason she had gotten through it was by thinking of the boy behind the jutsu, but Naruto didn't need to know that…
"But Naruto-kun, what will we do if Tsunade-sama finds out? Won't she know only you would plan something like this?"
The blonde shrugged. "Meh, she's sneaked off to a hot springs resort with Jiraiya for two weeks. If Shizune finds out about that, the old hag'll be in a lot worse trouble. Hehe, she should thank me for this!" He began to laugh, "You were AMAZING Hinata-chan, did you SEE Shizune's face? I should get you to help me with my pranks more often!"
"I – I would like that," the girl blushed, amazed at how well Kurenai-sensei's advice was working out.
flashback
'Kurenai-sensei, how can I ever get Nar…ano…the boy I lov…like to notice me?'
'Hinata, if you want Naruto to notice you, just take an interest in his hobbies, the things he likes to do. Men always like to see that you want to take part in their favourite pastimes.'
'Kurenai-sensei! How did you know it was Naruto-kun?'
'…'
flashback end
"So," said Naruto, rubbing his hands together gleefully, completely heedless of the fact that he was still lying on the desk with Hinata on top of him, "Who shall we get next? Kakashi-sensei and…Kurenai? No, too obvious…hmm or maybe…"
The Hyuuga heiress giggled suddenly, then leaned down to whisper in Naruto's ear.
His blue eyes widened in awe as he stared into the gentle girl's pearly eyes, which held an uncharacteristically mischievous sparkle.
"That…Hinata-chan, is BRILLIANT! Let's go!"
After more than one, but less than ten stiff shots of sake, Shizune felt sufficiently revived to begin her task of spreading the shocking news of the extra-curricular activities of Shodaime's grand-daughter and Konoha's Beautiful Green Beast.
Within a few hours, EVERYONE would know.
AN: This was fun to write. XD What did you think?
PS. For anyone reading my "Shikamaru Plus Glasses Equals", I am snowed under at the moment with exams and whatnot, so that fic is on the backburner for the next few weeks. But who knows, I might just be crazy enough to spin out a chapter when I should be studying!