Disclaimer: The only bleach I sort of own is the one which is used to wash clothes. And even that belongs to my mom, not me.
Summary: The past has decided to rear its ugly head to Rukia one night. Pain and bitterness can never be simply forgotten.
Bloody past
Kuchiki Rukia's eyes shot opened as her mouth was poised open in a silent scream.
Her tensed body and clenched fist ready for battle would alert anyone in the surrounding of her distress. Slowly, Rukia came to a realisation as to where she was and where she was not. Gradually, her breathing slowed down and her fist unclenched. What she had just relived was just a dream, a simple nightmare. It was a nightmare that she had not have for a long time, but it was not real, not now at least, neither would it be in the future.
She was contented with her present state and if she was more optimistic and had not yet seen so much of life, she would have said that she was happy. But happiness was just an emotion, just fleeting emotion like all the other feelings. Future is filled with uncertainties and pondering on things that could be changed so easily was mere foolishness.
The reason for her nightmare was neither the present nor the undefined future. No. It was the past.
She has locked up that particular part of her life up so tightly, that even some part of her soul was trapped within it. Yet even a dormant volcano has the possibility erupting at unexpected times.
With her mind still partially bound to the past and the horrifying memory, Rukia slid opened the closet door and stepped out to Ichigo's bedroom.
The pale yellowish beams of moonlight shone in through the window and lit up the room, seemingly giving everything ghostly glow. Even Ichigo's hair seemed pale. Yet for once, Kuchiki Rukia noticed none of this. Her eyes were unfocused, as if the world was spinning. Her expression was vacant and but her petite form was shivering slightly in the warm night. Dazed, without any thoughts as to where she was going, her legs moved of their own accords. Her left leg dragged across the floor, then her right. Slowly, step by step, she reached the room's door. Her hands turned the door knob, and Rukia stepped out.
Standing in the middle of the corridor, Rukia's legs continued to propel her forward, seemingly to no where.
Suddenly, her legs refused to walk any more, and she stood rooted to the ground.
Turning right, Rukia faced the door of the bathroom. With her right hand, she gave the door a gentle push, and the door swung opened. Rukia entered silently and closed the door behind her.
Kurosaki Ichigo was puzzled.
He had just been woken up by Rukia, who had decided to wake up in the middle of the night to go... somewhere. He had been worried she was going to go to do something dangerous and get into trouble. So naturally after she left the room, he followed her.
Keeping a close eye on the Rukia that seemed to be in a stupor, he observed her slowly moving towards the end of the corridor and stopped beside the bathroom door. As she gently pushed opened the door and entered the inky black bathroom, he wondered why she had not switched on the light. But then again, Kuchiki Rukia does the strangest things.
Deeming it safe to stand outside the bathroom to wait for Rukia to come out, as he can just say he wanted to use the toilet, Ichigo stood at the side of the door and waited.
Rukia had accidentally bumped into the shower button.
Currently, warm blasts of water was shooting out of the shower head and drenching her. However, Rukia did not mind. She sat down, hugging her knees close to her. The warmth provided by the water made her feel safer somehow. The water kept the pain at bay, the pain of her weakness, the pain of her helplessness.
It was her fault. It was all her fault.
She had left him to die. Not only that, she had killed her friend and mentor...with her own hands.
Instead of fighting together with him, she was watching the battle at the side line like a spectator in a match. Instead of assisting him in defeating the opponent immediately, she was standing rooted to the ground like the idiot she was, debating to herself whether pride or life was more important.
Then, she KILLED him. Until now, she could still feel her sword pierce through his flesh. Until now, she could still see his tormented expression as his life faded away in her hands. She told herself over and over again that she saved him from the enemy, but in truth, she killed him to save herself.
She had failed Kaien-dono. She had failed... herself.
The feeling of guilt and remorse intensified. Sorrow engulfed her and the continuous flow of water ran down her face, her back, and seeped into her aching heart.
She deserved to be alone.
His eyebrows knitting closer and closer together, Ichigo wondered what the heck Rukia was doing
She had entered the bathroom one hour earlier. As soon as she had entered, the sound of running water was heard. At first, Ichigo had ridiculously thought that Rukia was bathing in the middle of the night and returned to his room, determined to question her about her sanity. But when he had checked the usual place where Rukia hung her towel, he found it still there, peacefully drying off. It was at that time that he realised something was wrong. Slightly worried, he grabbed her towel and waited outside the bathroom once again.
Now, exactly one whole hour had passed, and the sound of running water was still heard. Other than that, there had been no other sound or any movement at all.
Panic slowly risen in him. Maybe Rukia had slipped and she was now bleeding from a head wound. Maybe she had tripped and sprained her ankle. Several horrible mental images where Rukia was hurt badly ran across his head until he could take it anymore.
His hand suddenly shot out and turned the door knob.
Amazingly, Rukia had not locked the door. The door knob turned easily in his hand as always. Bracing himself for either an injured or an angry Rukia, he pushed the door open.
Pure darkness greeted him and his hand automatically reached out to switch on the light. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness, he spotted Rukia sitting under the shower that was running, almost hidden from view.
She was drenched from head to toe, hugging her knees to her and staring down on the floor with a vacant expression. Her whole body was trembling slightly as she was freezing.
At that, Ichigo's scowls abruptly disappeared, only to be replaced by a frown. He hurriedly pressed on the shower button to switch it off, then glared at Rukia.
During the time he was there, Rukia never noticed him.
"Rukia?" he asked hesitantly.
There was no reply from her.
Still with the frown on his face, he made to leave. He needed to 'borrow' some of his sister's clothes again, and a bigger towel as well.
But as he motioned to leave, Rukia held grabbed hold of his ankle.
Staring up at Ichigo with eyes that held the tint of desperation, she said in a whisper.
"Please, don't leave."
Ichigo stood stunned. Rukia doesn't beg. She never begs. Even when she said please, it would be for the sake of manners. But now, Rukia was pleading for him not to leave. He would have stayed even if she had not said anything. The desperation for someone in her eyes was enough.
Turning around, he gently placed the towel in his hand on Rukia's back, and settled down beside her.
Silence ensued.
Ichigo wondered what had happened. Rukia was hardly, if ever, upset. She's always had a vibrant attitude about her, curious about everything that is in the world. When she does gets upset, she would be quiet for a few minutes at most, then regain her cheerful personality again.
As Ichigo was trying to figure out was wrong with Rukia, Kuchiki Rukia was starting to fall asleep.
As the pain in her heart slowly dulls to a throb by the mere presence of Ichigo, the burden of guilt lifted slightly. A gleam of light pierced through the dark abyss of sorrow and her eye lids started to fall.
Within seconds, Rukia was asleep.
The towel slipped off her shoulders as her head rolled to the side. Her body leaned on to the side, where Ichigo happened to be at. Her breathing became shallow as dreams enveloped her. As long as Ichigo was there, she would be okay.
Ichigo on the other hand, was slight startled when he found Rukia leaning on him, asleep. She had seemed so upset just barely a few minutes ago. Yet now, a hint of a smile had appeared on her face. It was the smile that told Ichigo that Rukia was going to be fine. He was still curious as to what exactly was troubling her, but he realised that some things are just made to be kept inside. Perhaps some day, Rukia would tell him.
No matter how endearing it was to see Rukia sleep so peacefully, something has to be done to prevent both of them from catching a cold. Removing himself by laying Rukia down on the floor, Ichigo then proceed to grab hold of several towels around the bathroom. He wrapped them all around Rukia quickly. When his family asks about the wherabouts of their towels tomorrow, he would just pretend that he knew nothing.
Carefully, he then lifted Rukia up and carry her bridal style. Deciding to switch off the bathroom light later, Ichigo took a final glance in the bathroom, then walked to his bedroom.
Pushing the door open with his foot, Ichigo entered his room.
Once he entered however, he was placed in a difficult situation. He now carried Rukia in his arms and had no where to put her down. The cabinet was too narrow, and placing Rukia on the cold hard floor was neither a nice nor polite thing to do.
There left one last place, his bed.
Frowning about how his bed is going to be soaked, Ichigo then lightly put Rukia down on the bed. Then removing the wet towels, he covered Rukia up with a thick blanket. Still with the frown firmly in place on his face, he wondered where he was going to sleep now.
The answer he arrived at made him frown even more.
Sighing and resigning to his fate, he grabbed a spare pillow and blanket from another cabinet, then proceeded to dump them unceremoniously on the floor.
Now that Rukia was settled, he went back to the bathroom to change into drier clothing.
With a small yawn, he glared at the place where he was about to sleep and then at his bed.
Which of course has to be currently occupied.
Realising that the blanket he had covered Rukia with had slipped off, he sighed once more and picked it up. Covering Rukia up with it, he then looked inquisitively at Rukia's sleeping form. The tension of the time when she was awake was gone, replaced by a relaxed and almost contented look on her face.
She appeared to be so delicate, almost fragile, in that state.
He hesitated, then leaned down and placed a small kiss on Rukia's forehead. Gently, he brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
Straightening himself again, he turned away and walked to his sleeping place.
Then Sun dawned bright and clear the next morning. Rukia does not appear to know of anything unusual that happened last night. Indeed, with her memories violently pushed to the back of her mind again, she really did not remember it.
Ichigo followed in Rukia's suit and pushed that particular memory out of his mind.
And both of them continued in their fight, keeping the bloody past beyond the borders of their mind.
A/N: I never expected it to be this long... But there you go.