OrangeIs The New Black
By Codez FanFiction
Season One
All Fifteen Episodes
Every Sentence is a Story
Main Cast:
Piper Chapman – Taylor Schilling. Alex Vause – Laura Prepon.
Dayanara Diaz – Dascha Polanco. Janae Watson – Vicky Jeudy.
Sophia Bursett – Laverne Cox. Suzanne "Crazy Eyes" Warren – Uzo Aduba.
Sam Healy – Michael Harney. Galina "Red" Reznikov – Kate Mulgrew.
Nichol "Nicky" Nichols - Natasha Lyonne. Tasha "Taystee" Jefferson – Danielle Brooks.
Joe Caputo – Nick Sandow.
Tiffany "Pennsatucky" Doggett – Taryn Manning.
With:
Larry Bloom - Jason Biggs.
George "Pornstache" Mendez – Pablo Schreiber.
Season One
Episode One:
Self-Surrender
April 13th 2013
Piper Chapman, 32, sits in her car with her newly fiancé, Larry Bloom, outside of Litchfield Women's Penitentiary Correctional Centre. Piper looks around nervously and Larry holds her hand. They park and a correctional guard is driving toward them. Larry rolls down his window as the guard parks beside them and says, "No visiting today."
Piper leans over "No, I'm here to surrender." She mutters.
"Oh okay then." The guard says and drives off.
Piper sits back and pauses for a moment. "Did he look surprised to you? When I said I was here to surrender? Didn't he look surprised? Like what the hell is she doing here?" she says.
"I…I didn't notice." Larry replies.
"Well he looked surprised to me." She mutters and then she looks at herself in the shade mirror. "I look like shit." She gasps.
"What?" Larry replies.
"My eyes are all puffy." She sighs.
"You're worried about how you look?" Larry laughs.
"No but they're going to know I was crying. And that's a sign of weakness. Can't show any weakness. That's what all of the books say." She mutters with worry.
"Oh sweetie…" Larry sighs and places his hand on her shoulder.
"Don't call me sweetie." She sighs and tries not to tear up.
"Oh Leonard…" he corrects himself.
"That's better." She laughs. Piper hugs him before glancing at her engagement ring. She slides the ring off her finger and waits for Larry to take it.
"What are you doing?" he mutters.
"Can't take it with me." She sighs.
"Oh. Oh okay, right." He replies and goes to place the ring in his pocket.
"Wait! What are you doing?" she gasps.
"What?" he replies with confusion.
"Well you can't just put that in your pocket it's going to end up at the bottom of the washing machine." She says.
"Okay. Um, where would you like me to put it then, Piper?" he asks.
"Up your ass!" she mutters.
"There's no room. Apparently my head's already up there." He says sarcastically.
Piper leans her head against the window and starts tearing up again. "I'm sorry." She sighs.
"It's okay. It's okay. Um, look, you know what, I'm going to put it in my wallet. There. How's that?" He says.
"Okay." She nods.
"Okay." He smiles. They hug again until he says "And when I get home I will put it in your jewellery box. Until I'm short on rent and then I may have to hock it but I'll try to get it back before you're out." He says.
Piper smiles at her goofball and is going to miss him a lot. She takes a deep breath. "We should go." She sighs.
"Okay." He nods.
~Flashback~
~The fiancé finds out about her past~
Larry was holding Piper's arrest work and was shocked after finding out about Piper's past, "You know everything about me.I tell you everything! I told you about the webcam horror, the penis-shaving incident.How do I not know this?" he gasps with shock.
"What was I supposed to say? It was… it was a phase.It was my lost soul post-college, adventure phase.I… I was so embarrassed.I can't I can't believe that she did this." She sighs referring to her partner in crime at the time.
"No Piper, I can't believe you did this.I mean who are you? I…I Feel like I'm in a Bourne movie.Have you killed?" He asks with frustration. Piper begins to sob. "Jesus.I don't know.Baby.Stop, stop, stop come on.Come here." He says as he sits beside her and shushes her as he hugs her. "Okay…" he sighs.
"You should break up with me." Piper sobs.
"What?" he replies.
"You didn't sign up for this." She continues to sob.
"Okay. Stop it, stop it come on shhh it's okay." He sighs.
Piper sits up and grabs the paperwork and reads it out. "Witness states Piper Chapman carried drug money. Piper Chapman was part of the ring." She cries.
"Were you?" Larry asks.
"I was 22! I thought that I was in love. I was in love. And it was all crazy. And then it got Scary. And I ran away and I became the nice blond lady that I was supposed to be." She explains, continuing to cry. Larry shakes his head and hugs her and stops her crying. "I mean I knew that she wasn't a good person. But Fuck her. Fuck her. This is not going to be okay Larry!" she grunts.
"Nope." He says.
"No." She adds.
"It's not." He continues.
"Mm-mm." She adds and shakes her head.
"But we're gonna deal with it. Okay? We'll figure this out. Together. Have you called a lawyer?" he sighs.
"No…"she cries.
"I'll call my dad." Larry sighs.
"No, no please don't call your dad. He already hates me." Piper begs.
"Yeah, well…I love you. And he loves me…so...he'll get over it. Okay?" he smiles and hugs her.
"Okay…" she sobs.
~End of flashback~
Piper and Larry are at the administration desk as the guard, officer Eliqua Maxwell, is on the phone organizing Piper's registration. "Self-surrender. Yeah, well no one told me either. The name is Chapman. Yeah… Chap, like when your lips get all dried, they're chapped." Officer Maxwell sighs with irritation before turning to Larry and Piper and says, "Have a seat." Larry and Piper go to take a seat as officer Maxwell continues on the phone "Piper. Rhymes with sniper."
Larry and Piper sit down and Piper is getting really nervous. "You hungry?" Larry asks.
"Not really." Piper replies.
Larry reaches his bag and hands her a wrapped burrata. "Eat anyway. It's burrata." He says.
"Oh thank you." Piper smiles and begins to unwrap her food. "My mother, she told her friends that I'm off doing volunteer work in Africa." She sighs.
Larry laughs. "I bet they're all appalled you've gone somewhere so filthy and dangerous." He says. They smile at each other for a moment.
~Flashback~
~Piper tells her parents about her past ~
Piper and Larry were sitting across from Piper's father Bill Chapman, her mother Carol Chapman, her younger brother Cal Chapman and her grandmother Celeste Chapman – explaining Piper's past coming back to haunt her. "So I never carried drugs… just Money." Piper explains.
"You were a lesbian?" Carol asks with shock – revealing that is the most shocking part of the story her daughter just told her.
"At the time." Piper replies.
"You still a lesbian?" Cal asks.
"No Cal, I'm not still a lesbian." Piper mutters.
"You sure?" Larry asks as a joke.
"I once kissed Mary Straily when I was at Ms. Porter's school. But it wasn't for me." Celeste reveals.
"Wow." Cal laughs.
"Did you know about all this?" Bill asks Larry.
"No. No. No I did not know about any of this." Larry mutters then clears his throat. "I mean she told me how she traveled after collage but she failed to mention the lesbian lover who ran an international drug smuggling ring. Imagine my surprise." Larry continues.
"Piper dear, what on Earth did you do with the money?" Celeste asks.
"Well Grandmother I wasn't really in it for the money." Piper replies.
"Oh Piper. For Heaven's sake." Celeste replies. Cal laughs.
~End of flashback~
Larry and Piper have finished eating and Piper gets out her phone. "So this is my last post as a free woman." She sighs.
"Whatcha gonna write?" Larry asks.
"Hey! Uh-uh. Oh no. You cannot have a phone in here!" Officer Maxwell grunts.
"What?" Piper asks with confusion.
"This is a federal facility. You have to take that out." Officer Maxwell explains.
"Oh okay. Can I? Am I allowed to go out?" Piper replies.
"He can take it out." Officer Maxwell says referring to Larry.
"So no? No phone…" Piper sighs.
"You knew that." Larry says.
"Now!" Officer Maxwell demands.
"Oh my God. Larry, by the time I get out, there will've been like…three new generations of iPhones." Piper worries.
"Sir. I can get an officer to escort you out if you don't hurry up." Officer Maxwell continues.
"No. I'm going. It's okay. I'm going." Larry says and grabs the phone. "Hey, I'll be right back okay? I'll take the phone to the car. I'll be right back. Okay? Two seconds." Larry whispers to Piper.
"Okay." Piper nods and they quickly kiss.
"Two seconds." He says and leaves.
Piper then waits alone and Officer Wanda Bell enters. "Chapman!" she shouts.
"Yes? Yes. That's me! But you have to wait a minute." Piper says.
"You tell me what I have to do? Get your ass over here, Chapman. Now. Move it!" Officer Bell demands.
Piper walks over to her and is getting nervous that Larry is taking too long. "He's going to be right back. We've been waiting here for two hours. And…" Piper tries to explain.
"And the wait is over." Bell cuts in. Piper sighs. "Here's your temporary ID. You'll stick this on your uniform when we get to that…" Officer Bell explains.
"I'm Here." Larry rushes in.
"Okay! You're in. There he is!" Piper gasps with relief.
"Who's this?" Officer Bell asks.
"My fiancé." Piper smiles.
"Yeah? Good luck with that." Officer Bell says.
"Excuse me?" Piper asks with offence.
"Any personal items?" Officer Bell asks.
"Here." Piper says and hands her a big envelope with everything she was told she could bring.
"We can't take this cheque." Officer Bell mutters.
"What? But we called last week and they told me to bring it." Piper explains.
"He has to send it to Iowa. Takes a few weeks to process." Officer Bell explains.
"A...a…few weeks? But doesn't she need to buy things." Larry asks.
"It's how it is!" Officer Bell grunts.
"Okay…where do we send it?" Piper asks.
"Eliqua, you got that Iowa address? Now, any nudie judies in here, skin pics, naughty stuff?" Officer Bell continues. Larry laughs.
"No. No nudie judies." Piper replies.
"Okay, time to say goodbye. Might be a while before you can visit fiancé." Officer Bell explains.
Piper and Larry hug. "I love you so much." Piper says.
"I love you too." Larry replies.
"I'll call as soon as I can. Okay." She adds.
"Okay." He smiles.
"Please send that cheque immediately." She continues.
"I will." He replies.
"Gosh, I love you." She says.
"I love you." He replies.
"Please keep my website updated." She sighs.
"I will." Larry laughs.
"I love you so much." She says as they both tear up and they kiss.
"Okay. It's going to be okay Piper. I love you. Okay?" Larry says.
"I love you too. Bye" she cries.
"Bye Pipes." He sighs.
"Don't forget to get that address fiancée. Let's go Chapman." Office Bell says then leaves as Piper follows.
Officer Bell takes Piper into the uniform office. "What size shoe are you?" Officer Bell asks.
"Nine and a half. Ten." Piper replies. Officer Bell then hands Piper a pair of shoes. "These are kinda like Tom's." Piper says.
"Who's Tom?" Officer Bell asks.
"Tom's are shoes. When you buy a pair, the company gives another to a child in need. They're great. And they come in lots of different colours and…" Piper explains but Officer Bell interrupts.
"How nice." Officer Bell says sarcastically.
"Do you think I'll do okay? Inside?" Piper asks.
"Sure. Just don't dance you're way in. Now, Strip." Officer Bell replies.
~Flashback~
~Piper's relationship with Alex Vause. ~
One night, Piper is dancing seductively as her female lover, Alex Vause, sits on the bed reading until noticing Piper's seductive dance. "Get over here." Alex says. Piper continues to dance and strip. "Come here." Alex mouths and signals Piper.
Piper crawls on the bed and over to Alex. "Are you gonna miss me?" Piper asks.
"Yes. Too much." Alex says. Piper kisses Alex's neck and Alex closes her eyes and thinks for a moment before turning off the music. "Come with me." Alex says.
"What?" Piper asks.
"Come to Bali. I mean it come with me, I'll buy you a plan ticket." Alex says.
"Are you serious?" Piper asks.
"Yes…" Alex smiles. Alex then sits up and kisses Piper's breasts and kisses her way up Piper's neck. "Come with me. Quit your job and come with me." Alex continues.
"Well I'd…have to give notice." Piper sighs.
"You're a fucking waitress, you don't need to give notice." Alex laughs.
"Well, will I get in trouble?" Piper asks.
"God I hope so." Alex sighs and kisses Piper.
Piper pulls away. "You know what I mean…" Piper sighs.
"You don't have to do anything. You're just there to keep me company, alright?" Alex explains and they continue to kiss. "Come on. Baby I want you to come. And I want you to cum." Alex says as they continue making out and Piper moans. "Yes? Is that a yes?" Alex giggles.
"Yes." Piper smiles as they continue to make out.
~End of flashback~
"Open your mouth. Stick out your tongue." Officer Bell demands and inspects Piper's mouth. "Alright, lift up your arms." She continues inspecting Piper. "Okay turn around. Squat. Spread your cheeks and cough." She demands.
Piper's face express she is mortified. "Seriously?" Piper asks.
"Do it Chapman!" Officer Bell demands. Piper rolls her eyes and coughs. "Good. Now let's get you into prison." Officer Bell says.
Officer Bell takes Piper over to a van and Piper gets in beside another new incoming inmate. "That it?" the driver asks.
"Hold on, one more coming." Officer Bell says.
"Um, excuse me, my zipper's broken." Piper says to the driver. The driver removes her shades and turns to Piper.
"First time down?" she asks.
"My first time here?" Piper asks.
"No. Your first time in prison." The driver laughs.
"Oh... Yeah." Piper mutters.
"It's not so bad. Everyone's okay. You've gotta watch out for the stealing." The driver says. Piper and the other new inmate in the back look at each other and pull their beddings and belongings closer to themselves.
"So, what's your name? Eh, your last name. Everyone uses last names here. Like, I'm Morello and that is Watson." The driver reveals.
"Chapman." Piper replies.
"Uh, how much time you got Chapman?" Morello, the driver asks.
"Fifteen months." Piper replies.
"Aw, that's not so bad. I got thirty-four. But I'm hoping with good time there'll be less." Morello explains.
"Wait. So you're a… they let you drive?" Piper asks with surprise.
"Well, who else is gonna do it? We do everything around here." Morello laughs.
"Oh okay." Piper replies.
"Hey can I ask you somethin'? You look like you'd know." Morello says.
"Sure." Piper replies.
"Which dress do you like better? My top two favs are the ones with the half-and-half lids stuck to the pages." Morello explains and hands Piper a bridal magazine. "See, I want something that's going to express my personality and the trick is I wanna show off the boobs, the ass but I'm not so happy with the upper arms and stomach So, there's your challenge." Morello giggles.
Piper flips between Morello's favourites. "Both, nice." Piper smiles politely.
"That's all you've gotta say?" Morello asks then grabs the magazine off Piper. "I've gotta look good. My first dance is gonna go on YouTube." Morello smiles.
~Flashback~
~When Larry Proposed~
Four days ago…
Larry and Piper were at the beach and Larry was recording Piper on his phone. "Look! I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. No. It's my Lance Armstrong rock." Piper laughs.
"Hold it up. Lemme see, lemme see." Larry laughs. Piper holds it up to the camera. "Nice. Okay, now lick it softly and tenderly like you would've when you thought he was clean." Larry laughs.
"Oh, Jesus Larry, shut that thing off." Piper laughs.
"You're making a huge mistake. This could go viral." Larry continues.
"Seriously. Shut it off." Piper says more serious this time.
"What?" Larry asks.
"I'm just so fat from all the stress eating. I really don't want a record of it. You know that's one thing I'm going to do in prison. I'm gonna get ripped. Like Jackie Warner ripped. And I'm gonna read everything on my Amazon wish list And maybe even learn to craft. You know? I could be crafty." Piper is explaining whilst Larry sits his phone down and looks through his bag. "I'm gonna make it count Larry. I'm not gonna Throw away a year of my life…what the hell are you looking for?" Piper continues then notices Larry searching his bag. Larry holds up a sandwich bag with a ring in it and clears his throat. "Oh no. What is that?" Piper asks.
"Piper…" Larry smiles.
"Oh Jesus Larry. Why would you want…" she begins.
"Why would I want a felonious former lesbian WASP shiksa whose about to go to prison to marry me?" Larry smiles.
"Yes. And all of the stress eating…" Piper sighs.
"Well because this peculiar underachieving, underemployed Jew boy loves her. And Knows that he will never be bored and can't believe how lucky he is that he met her. I gotta lock this shit down before you leave, Pipes. I love you. You wanna marry me?" Larry smiles.
"When I get out, right?" Piper asks beginning to tear up.
"Whenever you want." He smiles.
"I'll be so ripped." She smiles and they laugh.
"Yeah you can wear a wedding dress that's like a…like a half shirt, you know? Show off those abs." he smiles.
"Yeah." She smiles. Larry laughs. "Was that your grandmothers ring?" Piper asks.
"No, my mom's saving that one for my sister. This is my Great Aunt Marcia's. She had thyroid cancer and a series of Schnauzers All named Schnapps. That's all I know." Larry laughs. Piper smiles. "Put it on. I had it sized." Larry insists.
Piper slides the ring on her finger. "It's beautiful!" Piper smiles with tears of joy.
"And that's a yes, right?" Larry asks.
"Yes." Piper nods.
"Okay well, would you say that just one more time for me? And this time just into the camera." Larry says and points the camera at her, revealing it was still recording this while time.
"Oh you asshole!" Piper laughs.
"Come on, I had to capture the moment! What?" he laughs.
"Turn it off! Give me that!" she giggles and gets on his lap and kisses him.
"Oh Pipes you're cold, here let me hold you." Larry smiles.
~End of flashback~
"Bounce your legs up and down. It keeps your feet warm." Morello says.
"Thanks." Piper replies.
"You think your man is still gonna be around when you're out?" The other inmate, Watson says.
"Yeah he'll be there. I'm the love of his life." Morello assures her.
"Thirty four months is a long time." Watson replies. Morello shakes her head with frustration.
"Yeah, but she's the love of his life." Piper adds.
"And who the fuck asked you?" Watson scoffs.
Officer Bell returns with another new inmate, Dayanara Diaz, who gets into the van behind Piper and Watson. "Head on out." Officer Bell says and slams the door shut.
"Alright, here we go. So anyway his tie is gonna match the bridesmaids' dresses There's gonna be 6 bridesmaids. My cousin's being a bitch, so I'm thinking about dropping her but my sister Franny is going to be my maid of honour." Morello explains.
Moments later, once they get to the campus, Morello opens the van doors. "Alright, let's go. Let's go." She says. Piper, Watson and Dayanara follow Morello toward the building as inmates outside stare at the newbies. The inmates wolf-whistle and laugh and mock the newbies. Morello gets to the door as an inmate, Miss Claudette Pelage, opens it. "Hello Miss Claudette." Morello smiles.
"Morello." Miss Claudette says and pushes past them.
"You wanna watch out for that one. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice lady but you don't want to get on her bad side. Now, go ahead, go, head in." Morello says. Piper wonders what Miss Claudette did and she heads inside followed by Morello and the others. "Okay, I gotta send you all to other processing now, mug shots, medical checks, meet with your councillor and then I'll meet you back here and show you your bunks okay?" Morello explains to them. The newbies are silent. "Oh Chapman, don't look so bummed. It'll give you wrinkles. Come on go get your mug shots in there." Morello says.
Checking in, Piper stands against the background as officer George Mendez prepares to take Piper's mug shot. "Alright. Raise your head and look at the lens." Officer Mendez says. Piper prepares for the photo and poses. "Ah, crap." Officer Mendez said and smacks the table. "Hey, new guy! What's your name? Bennett? Bennett, the camera isn't fucking working again." Officer Mendez grunts.
The new officer, John Bennett, walks over and tries to find the problem. "Did you turn it on?" Officer Bennett asks.
"Yeah. I turned it on." Officer Mendez asks irritably.
"Okay, wait, I think I got it. Okay, ready inmate?" Officer Bennett asks.
"Yeah." Piper sighs. Once again it doesn't work.
"Wait, no. Dammit!" Officer Bennet grunts.
"What does this button do?" Officer Mendez asks.
"No! Don't touch that." Officer Bennett stops him.
"Sorry, princess." Officer Mendez scoffs.
"Um, there's a cord right there. Do you think that that needs to be connected to something?" Piper suggests.
"Shut your mouth and stand still." Officer Mendez says.
Bennett plugs in the cord. "She's right." Bennett laughs.
"Whatever." Officer Mendez rolls his eyes.
"Okay got it." Bennett says as he took the photo.
"No, wait…but I wasn't ready." Piper mutters.
"Tough shit. Next!" Officer Mendez grunts.
Piper then goes to the medical exam room where the male prison chemist and nurse, Igme Dimaguiba, preps her. "This is a TB test. Nice veins. No track marks!" Nurse Igme says.
"Thanks." Piper sighs.
"Any Tattoos?" he asks.
"Oh, yeah." Piper says and turns around and lifts up her hair to reveal a fish tattoo on her neck.
"Oh, fish. You like fish?" he asks.
"I uh…saw it on a scuba diving trip. Thought it was beautiful." Piper explains.
"Mm. I don't like fish. But I like pork, chicken. But, uh it's a pretty fish at least." He says.
"Thanks." Piper replies.
~Flashback~
~The night before her crime~
The night before a trip to Belgium, Piper is in disguise and Alex is covering Piper's tattoo to match the disguise. "It's gonna rub off when I sweat." Piper worries.
"No, it won't. It's waterproof." Alex says. Piper then adjusts her wig. "Stop touching it." Alex says.
"It itches." Piper replies.
"Look, it's okay, just stay calm. Don't freak yourself out. Okay so, when this dries we should be good to go." Alex says and kisses Piper.
"How am I gonna get it off?" Piper asks.
"Acetone." Alex says.
"Alright Alex, I don't… I don't know if I can…" Piper starts to have second thoughts.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey. Shhh. Take a deep breathe. You are a nice blonde lady, aren't you? A proper young lady, just picking up her sensible bag in the baggage claim before heading on to her mid-range hotel to go over her schedules. Museum visits and fancy dinners." Alex explains. Piper turns to her as Alex kisses her. "It's all fine. It's all good. And I will meet you in Brussels and everything will work out perfectly, babe. I promise. It's all gonna be okay." Alex continues and then kisses Piper.
~End of flashback~
Piper then sits in her councillor, Mr Sam Healy's office, "Are you okay?" he asks.
"Fine. I guess." Piper replies.
Mr Healy goes through Piper's file. "What's PoPi?" he asks.
"It's pronounced like Poppy, sir. It's a bath products line I'd started with my friend Polly. Polly and Piper. PoPi. We're gonna be in Barney's." Piper explains.
"Barney's?" Mr Healy asks.
"It's a nice store." Piper says as he continues to look through her case.
"It's a pretty big case. Criminal conspiracy." He says.
"That's what they charged me with. I carried a suitcase of money. Drug money. Once. Ten years ago." Piper sighs.
"What's the statute of limitations on that?" he asks.
"Twelve years." Piper sighs.
"That's tough." He replies.
"Well I did it. That one time. Ten years ago." Piper mutters.
"What did your lawyers say?" He asks.
"He said with the mandatory minimums with drug crimes he wouldn't recommend risking a trial so I pleaded out." Piper explains.
"And here you are." He mutters.
"Here I am." She sighs.
"Costing the tax payers money and sweating in my armchair. Ya know, I've been here for twenty-two years and I still can't figure out how the system works. I've got a crack dealer who's doing nine months and then I have a lady who accidentally backed into a mailman who's doing four years. I mean the guy broke his collarbone but come on. I just don't get it. Society is unfair. The system is unfair. Life is unfair Chapman." He explains. Piper gulps. "Are you gonna barf? Tell me if you're gonna barf because there's a trashcan behind you." He says.
"I won't barf." Piper replies.
"I will be truly displeased if you barf anywhere but in that can." He continues.
"Not gonna barf." She assures him.
"Look, Ms Chapman. No one's gonna mess with you here unless you let them. This isn't Oz. Women fight with gossip and rumours. They might peg you for rich and try to hit you up for a commissary but that's it and there are lesbians." He explains. Piper becomes curious and concerned. "They're not gonna bother you, they'll just try to be your friend. Just stay away from them. Ok I want you to understand that you do not have to have lesbian sex." He says with a strict tone.
"Sir, I have a fiancé." She says.
"Oh." He replies.
"His name is Larry. He's a writer. Can he come visit me?" Piper asks.
"Is he in here?" he asks referring to Piper's paperwork and visitation list.
"Yes, everybody's in there." She says.
"All the people in the PSI are cleared to visit. He can come this weekend. I'll make sure the list is in the visiting room." He says.
"Thank you so much, Mr Healy. Thank you." She smiles with relief.
"You just keep to yourself and you'll be fine. But don't make friends. It's a bad idea, and remember Chapman, nothing goes on here that I don't know about." Mr Healy says.
Piper is then walking down the hall following Morello and the other two newbies. "Alright we gotta hustle 'cause the count's soon. Uh, room up there Dorms are down there. Now you are not allowed down there. It's out of bounds for you guys until you get assigned there. You understand?" Morello explains. An inmate, Erica "Yoga Jones" Jones, approaches them. "Ah! Namaste, Jones!" Morello smiles.
"Namaste." Yoga Jones says and continues to walk by.
"She teaches yoga, if you ever want to join. She's good. She's very spiritual. All right so we got some offices here. This is the dining hall, recreation room there, counsellor's office, who…who you got for a counsellor Chapman?" Morello asks.
"Um, Healy." Piper replies.
"Okay, yeah." Morello says in a strange tone.
"What?" Piper asks noticing the tone.
"Oh it's fine. It's fine. He does his paperwork. That's the good thing." Morello says.
"Um excuse me, when do we get outfits like everybody?" Dayanara asks.
"I dunno maybe tomorrow after breakfast you go down and you speak to a lady and find out." Morello explains.
An inmate, Aleida Diaz, walks over to the newbies and slaps the Dayanara in the face and walks away. Piper gasps.
"What the fuck?" Watson says.
"Friend of yours?" Morello asks.
"No. It's my mom." Dayanara reveals.
"Oh, complex…I'm sorry, what'd you say your last name was?" Morello asks.
"Diaz." Dayanara says.
"Okay great well let's keep going." Morello smiles and they follow her to a room.
Moments later they are shown to their room. "Alright. Chapman, Diaz this is you." Morello explains. Diaz and Piper enter noticing there are four other inmates in there already. "Uh, DeMarco, this is Chapman. She's new. Self-surrender, you show her what's what?" Morello says.
"Sure." The inmate, Anita DeMarco replies.
"Okay, Mendoza this is Diaz. Come on Diaz come in don't be shy. Mendoza will help you." Morello giggles.
Gloria Mendoza is doing her makeup and says, "Estar con usted en un segundo, casi hecho aquí." (Be with you in a sec, almost done here.)
"Um, I don't speak Spanish." Diaz says.
"Great another fucking coconut, I said "Be with you in a sec. Just gotta finish here." Damn, what's wrong with your mother, she don't teach you Spanish." Gloria says.
"Okay Chapman here you go. Here's some tissues, first night is always hard, in case you need them, some soap and a toothbrush cause they don't give you one. Here you go." Morello smiles and hands the gifts to Piper.
"Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for everything." Piper smiles.
"Aw. No, no, it's no problem. We look out for our own." Morello replies.
"Our own?" Piper asks.
"Oh don't get all PC on me. It's tribal. Not racist. I'll see you around." Morello explains. "Come on Watson follow me." Morello continues as she and Watson leave.
"What's your name again?" DeMarco asks.
"Piper. I mean Chapman." Piper mutters.
"That's Ms Rosa. And that's Nichols. She just got out of SHU, a week ago. Told the CO, to kiss her ass. Dumb. Why make trouble for yourself, ya know?" DeMarco laughs.
"SHU that's solitary?" Piper asks.
"Yep and you don't want it honey. Trust me. Here's some toilet paper. You gotta take it with you." DeMarco says.
"Thanks. What's that thing?" Piper asks pointing to a strange thing beside DeMarco's bed.
"Oh. That's my machine. I need it at night. When I first got here, I had a massive heart attack. You know about the count?" DeMarco asks.
"Wait, can you go back to the heart attack?" Piper says.
"I don't like to dwell." DeMarco replies.
"How do I make a phone call?" Piper asks.
"You need a PAC number. Fill out a form. Whole rigmarole. But maybe Caputo will let you make a call later. It helps, if you cry." DeMarco winks and clicks her tongue.
Piper then goes to put her bedding on her bunk above Miss Rosa.
"Don't make your bed!" DeMarco shouts.
"What?" Piper asks.
"We'll make it for you." DeMarco says.
"Oh no, that's okay. You don't need to do that." Piper replies.
"Honey. We'll make The Bed. We know how." DeMarco assures her.
"I know how to make a bed." Piper says.
"We know how to do it so we'll pass inspection. You can help clean. We clean everything with maxi pads." DeMarco reveals.
"Seriously?" Piper asks.
"Yep. It's a head scratcher but that's what we got." DeMarco laughs.
"So we make our beds in the morning, before they count?" Piper asks.
"No. You sleep on top of the bed, with the blanket over you." DeMarco explains.
"What if I want to sleep in the bed?" Piper says.
"Look. You can do what you want. But you will be the only one in this entire prison that does." DeMarco says. Piper is silent. "You want that? Be my guest." She continues and dusts her hands.
The speaker then sounds. "Count time! Count time ladies! Count time!" the speaker says.
"When that light comes on, you need to be where you're supposed to be and you don't move, until it goes off. Dinner's after." DeMarco explains.
"Hey blanca." Gloria says to Piper.
"Yes?" Piper replies.
"You speak Spanish?" Gloria asks.
Piper then proudly responds, "Un poco. yo entiendo mas de lo que puedo hablar" (A little bit. I understand more than I can speak.)
Gloria then smiles and looks at Diaz. "You see? Fucking white girl speaks Spanish." She says.
Officer Scott O'Neill enters and clicks and counts the inmates then leaves.
"So…" Piper begins.
"Shhh! Wait." DeMarco whispers. Another guard enters and double checks and counts with his clicker then he leaves.
"So dinner's at 4:30?" Piper asks.
"Recount, ladies!" the speaker shouts.
"Ugh! They always screw it up!" DeMarco grunts.
"How hard is it to fucking count?" Nicky Nichols says.
"Nicky, this is um…" DeMarco begins.
"Piper. Uh Chapman." Piper introduces.
Nicky scoffs. "Well look at you blondie what'd you do?" Nicky asks.
"Aren't you not supposed to ask that question? I read that you're not supposed to ask that." Piper replies.
"You read that? What? You even studied for prison?" Nicky laughs.
O'Neill enters again and his counter rapidly clicks then he leaves again.
"What did you do?" Piper asks Nicky.
"Ha, long story Chapman, maybe some other time. Maybe somewhere more private." Nicky winks.
~Flashback~
~The crime~
After landing in Belgium, Piper was in her disguise at the airport trying to speak French to the baggage collect guy.
"I can't understand your French." The man says.
"Mon bag. Bag. My bag hasn't arrived." Piper mutters.
"Oh the bags. They don't make it onto the right flight sometimes. Wait for the next shuttle for Paris. It's probably on that plane." He explains.
Piper then waits and waits and waits. Getting even more and more nervous.
Several hours later, the buzzer goes off and more bags are released. "Oh! Mon bag! My bag.Thank you! Thanks a lot! For your help!" Piper shouts with joy and relief. The baggage guy gives her thumbs up.
Piper then walks over to Alex who is waiting for her and is getting worried. "Bonjour." Piper says.
"Ah, bonjour." Alex gasps and kisses Piper.
"Welcome to Belgium." Alex says and kisses Piper again. "So, all good? I was starting to worry. What took so long? Where did you come from?" Alex asks.
"Over there." Piper points.
"You didn't go through customs?" Alex asks.
"No, I just walked out of that door and it brought me right here." Piper mutters innocently.
"You fucking skipped customs!" Alec whispers. Piper shrugs. "Holy shit! That's genius!" Alex laughs.
"Well should I go back?" Piper worries.
"Fuck no! We're going to the hotel! I'm gonna eat you for dinner." Alex smiles.
"Alex, I was so freaked out when the bag didn't show up I almost bailed." Piper sighs.
"Well it's a good thing you didn't. There's over fifty-grand in that bag. Kubra would've had you killed." Alex mutters. Piper worries. "Come on." Alex smiles.
~End of flashback~
Piper has gotten her tray of food and is staring looking for a place to sit. "Come on! Keep moving! You're blocking up the works." Inmate, Gina Murphy says. Piper continues to look lost. "Okay. Go sit there, she's a nice white lady." Gina directs Piper.
"Thanks." Piper smiles and walks over to a table where an inmate she saw earlier is sitting. "Hi. Is it okay if I sit here?" Piper asks.
"Sure, newbie." Yoga Jones says as Piper sits across from her. "I'm Jones. But everyone calls me Yoga Jones."
"Chapman." Piper says.
"You doin okay, Chapman?" Jones asks.
"You know, I don't really know how to answer that question. Everything's pretty surreal right now." Piper explains.
"Mm…Do you know what a mandala is?" Jones asks.
"Um, those are those round Buddhist art things." Piper says.
"Right. The Tibetan monks make them out of dyed sand laid out into big, beautiful designs and when they're done, after days or weeks of work they wipe it all away." Jones explains.
"Wow. That's… that's a lot." Piper mutters.
"Try to look at your experience here as a mandala, Chapman. Work hard. To make something as meaningful and beautiful as you can and when you're done, pack it in and know that it was all temporary. You have to remember that. It's all temporary." Jones explains.
"It's all temporary." Piper sighs.
"I'm telling you, surviving here is all about perspective." Jones smiles. Piper smiles and goes to eat her pudding. "Don't eat the pudding." Jones warns her.
"What's the perspective on the pudding?" Piper asks.
"It comes in big cans marked "Desert Storm". Sometimes the kitchen has to scrape the mold off the top before they serve it." Jones explains and Piper drops her spoon back on her tray.
Another inmate, Sister Jane Ingalls, joins them. "Hi there." Sister Ingalls smiles.
"Hi, sister. This is Chapman." Jones explains.
"Sister, as in nun?" Piper asks.
"Mmhm. But please call me Sister Jane." Sister Ingalls smiles.
"Yep, a killer nun." Jones says.
"Oh, now stop it. She doesn't know you're joking." Sister Jane laughs.
"She chained herself to a flagpole at a nuclear test site." Jones explains. Sister Jane nods then bows her head and prays. "Amen." She says.
"Amen." Jones adds.
"So, Chapman. What's your story?" Sister Jane asks.
"I chained myself to a drug dealer." Piper Sighs. "Oh, that's rough." Sister Jane says.
"Piper! You can't be taking advice from a nun and a hippy." Nicky says as she joins them.
"By all means. Seek out the supreme wisdom of the junkie philosopher." Jones says.
"I pray for you, Nicky." Sister Jane adds.
"Oh I pray for you too, sister. I lust after you, yoga Jones. Those sinewy arms…mmm…gotta love a yoga body." Nicky replies with a slight laugh.
"You should come to class, watch me chaturanga." Jones says.
"That whole common room smells like farts. It kinda takes away the magic for me. Hey, you like pussy, Piper?" Nicky asks. Piper is stunned by the question. "Or do you prefer pipes as your name suggests? I'm feeling some Sapphic vibes comin off of you." Nicky giggles and winks.
"Oh, leave her alone." Sister Jane says.
Nicky sniffs her two fingers. "Come on, sister. You know you woulda gone my way if you hadn't married Jesus." Nicky says.
An intimidating Russian inmate with red hair, named Galina "Red" Reznikov, then walks over and gives Nicky a yogurt. "Thank you, mommy." Nicky giggles.
Red then passes a yogurt to Yoga Jones. "Thanks, Red."
Followed by Sister Jane. "Thanks, Red." She says.
"She's your mom?" Piper asks Nicky.
"Ah, maternal figure. My actual mother lives in Brazil with her boyfriend, Paulo, who destroys rainforests and collects photos of realistic art. She is a cunt. I'm an embarrassment." Nicky explains.
A butch inmate, Carrie "Big Boo" Black, then approaches. "Heya, Red. Got one of those for me?" The butch asks.
"You got what I asked you for?" the intimidating, Red, asks.
"Uh I'm workin' on in it." The butch replies.
"So am I. Treats come when I sleep better." Red grunts. The butch walks away. "How hard is it to get me a board from the wood shop? Ugh. People. Who's this?" Red asks.
"Oh, this is Chapman. She's new. Self-surrender. Think she's fancy." Nicky says.
"Here, fancy. Have a yogurt." Red says and slides a yogurt over to Piper.
"What do I have to do for it?" Piper asks.
Red laughs. "You're new. You're one of us. Consider it a gift." Red says.
"Thank you. Thank you so much!" Piper smiles.
"No need to thank me." Red mutters.
"The food here is disgusting." Piper whispers to them. Nicky, Jones and Sister Jane stare at Piper - horrified. "What?" Piper asks.
"Did I mention that Red runs the kitchen?" Nicky asks.
"Shit. I'm sorry." Piper sighs.
"Honey. I know you just got here so you don't know what's what. But I'm gonna tell you. You don't like the food it's no problem." Red says and dusts her hands before walking away.
"Holy shit. That was an epic fuck up." Nicky mutters.
"Shit." Piper sighs.
"What do you think she'll do?" Yoga Jones sighs.
"Well, if Chapman doesn't like the food…she won't eat." Nicky says.
"Oh, but surely there is something I could say to her…" Piper begins.
"I think you and your choice of words have caused you enough trouble for one day…" Sister Jane says. Piper's head falls into her hands as she begins to stress.
~Flashback~
~The final supper~
The night before Piper went to prison. She and her pregnant friend Polly were sitting down whilst Larry and Polly's husband, Pete stand by a cooking pig.
"So there's an entire pig in there." Pete says.
"Yes." Larry replies.
"For four of us." Pete adds.
"It's a small pig and I really wanted to use the box. It was my birthday present from Piper and she's feeling guilty she's leaving. It's a guilt pig-roasting box." Larry explains.
"At least you get something. I'm not getting laid for a year too. But what do I get?" Pete mutters.
"A baby?" Larry replies.
"You can't eat it." Pete laughs.
"Are we really gonna eat that?" Polly asks Piper at the table.
"It's thematic." Piper replies. "You're not serving time in Cuba." Polly says.
"Pigs. Cops. It's a symbolic joke." Piper smiles.
"How the fuck are you going to jail tomorrow." Polly sighs.
"Prison. Not jail." Piper replies.
"You're missing my baby shower." Polly sighs.
"Polly I'm really sorry." Piper says.
"I know. You just focus on how you're going to maintain your eyebrows behind bars. You may not come back with a unibrow." Polly says and they laugh. "Am I allowed to cry?" Polly continues.
"No. Seriously. No." Piper sighs.
"Okay." Polly says.
"Okay. We are ready." Pete says.
"Everybody inside." Larry says.
Piper gets up and goes to help Polly. "Need a hoist?" Piper laughs.
"Yeah." Polly sighs.
"Big girl." Piper says. They laugh. "On to the last supper." Piper sighs and they head inside.
~End of flashback~
Piper goes to Mr Joe Caputo's office and knocks. "Can I help you?" he asks.
"Um I'm Chapman. I'm new today. They told me I should talk to you. I don't have a PAC number." Piper explains.
"Who's they?" he replies. Piper then avoids the question by using fake tears like DeMarco suggested.
"Mr Caputo, please let me call me fiancé. I need to hear his voice and let him know that I'm okay." Piper sobs.
Caputo rolls his eyes. "Two minutes. You got two minutes, that's it. Close the door. I don't want to run out my office." He mutters. Piper closes the door and sits down. "Dial nine to get out." He mutters. Piper dials the number and it rings.
Larry's mother Amy answers. "Hello? Larry's phone." Amy says.
"Amy?" Piper asks.
"Piper, oh my gosh?" Amy says.
"Ma, give me the phone." Larry says.
"One second. Can't I say hello?" Amy says.
"Amy, I only have two minutes to talk." Piper mutters.
"Are you okay? What's it like in there? Howard and I brought Chinese. Larry is so upset." Amy mutters.
"Let him talk, Amy!" Howard, Larry's father says.
"Come on, give me the phone." Larry says.
"Amy, please let me talk to Larry." Piper begs.
"You know, I read that when Martha Stewart was in prison, she foraged for dandelions." Amy explains. Larry snatches the phone off his mother. "I was talking!" Amy grunts.
"Maybe it's not always about you dear." Howard says.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Amy replies.
"Piper?" Larry says.
"I only have a minute now. I'm calling from the guard's office." Piper sighs.
"Hey. Are you…are you okay? What's going on?" Larry asks.
"I love you so much." Piper begins to sob.
"I love you too, Pipes." Larry laughs.
"Larry…" she sighs.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"I'm wearing granny panties and I've only spoken to white people." She explains.
"Huh. Are you joining the Aryan Nation?" Larry laughs.
"I don't know. But there's a nun here and you're not allowed to sleep in your bed. Only on top of it." Piper explains.
"That's weird." Larry mutters.
"I know, right? And when I got here they gave me these little uh, bars of hotel soap and no shampoo. But I think that I can borrow some from other white people and I love you so much! Oh and one of my roommates had a massive heart attack when she first got here." Piper continues.
"Okay. You are not allowed to have a heart attack." Larry says.
"What did you have for dinner? Something my folks brought from the palace." Larry reveals.
"Oh the palace…well dinner here was scary liver? And I insulted the chef." Piper sighs.
"Oh dear…" Larry sighs.
"And You're not supposed to eat the pudding because it's been to Desert Storm." Piper starts to cry.
"Piper, listen to me, you cannot lose your shit. Okay? I mean it, please. Please tell me you're keeping it together, please? Please tell me you're okay?" Larry says.
"Wrap it up, Chapman." Caputo says.
"I'm Chapman here." Piper reveals.
"Well you're my Pipes. Okay? And uh I love you. And this is only temporary." Larry says.
"That's what yoga Jones said. But it's just been one day and I can't I can't. I can do any more than this." Piper sighs.
"Piper, you can. You so can. Okay? You… are so strong, babe and you love adventure right? That's what got you in there and that's what's going to get you through this. It's all just a big adventure. With liver, and uh yoga Jones and… and… and racism." Larry explains.
"You can come on Friday. Please come on Friday. Tell my mother to come on Saturday, and don't tell her you're coming on Friday, okay?" Piper sobs.
"Of course. Okay. Two sleeps. That's it. Two sleeps on top of your bed and then, I will be there." Larry says.
"Coming up on lights out. Say goodbye." Caputo says.
"I have to go." Piper sighs.
"Hey, no crying." Larry says.
"I'm not crying." Piper sobs quietly.
"Piper, I love you. I will see you on Friday. Please, be brave. Don't let anyone into your granny panties. I love you." Larry says.
"I love you." Piper sighs and Caputo hangs up.
"Your head's not here yet. Don't worry, it'll catch up. In the mean time try to get some sleep before orientation, which is tomorrow at nine. Here, shampoo for you." Caputo explains and hands her a small bottle of shampoo. Piper takes it and smiles at him. "I think the words you're looking for are thank you." He says.
"Thank you." She says.
"Good night, Chapman. Close the door behind you." He says as Piper leaves and Caputo then unzips his pants and begins to masturbate to some porn.
In her room, Piper sits on her top bunk whilst Nicky picks her teeth with a toothpick, as the others are asleep. "Hey Piper, you have a lover on the outside?" Nicky asks.
"A fiancé." Piper replies.
"You miss him?" Nicky asks. Piper begins to tear up.
"Oh don't worry Chapman there's still plenty of other ways to get off in here if that's what you're gonna miss the most." Nicky laughs.
Piper smiles and wipes away her tears. "He was really good." She laughs.
"That's something to look forward to then. Don't think of the present, just think of the future. You're a day closer to getting back to that great sex. I mean personally nothing is greater than pussy but each to their own." Nicky winks. Piper smiles and rolls over. "Night Chapman." Nicky says.
"Goodnight." Piper smiles and closes her eyes.
~Flashback~
~Spank bank memory making~
After her final dinner with friends, Piper and Larry later that night are in bed, breathing heavy after having sex. "We gotta do it again Larry." Piper sighs.
"I know." Larry sighs heavily.
"Okay." Piper sighs.
"We really shouldn't have eaten so much." Larry says.
"I know but come on. We gotta rally, okay? Make some memories. You know?" Piper giggles and gets on top of him.
"Yeah." He smiles.
"We need some spank bank material." Piper giggles.
"Oh. Well, I mean when you say it like that." Larry begins.
"Mm…" Piper moans as she kisses him and they start making out and getting hot into the moment but Piper pulls away. "Wait I got…" she mutters.
"What?" he asks.
"I gotta pee." She replies.
"What? No." he sighs.
"Yeah Sorry." She says.
"Really?" he asks.
"Just a second. I'll be…I'll be right back." She sighs.
"Ugh." He groans as Piper gets out of bed and walks over to the bathroom but he stops her. "Hey." He says and she turns toward him.
"Yeah?" she says.
"You look beautiful." He smiles.
"Thanks." Piper smiles back then enters the bathroom.
Larry lays alone in the bed and farts and inhales. "Oh gosh, shit that's…bad." He whispers and fans the smell away with the blanket.
Piper sits on the toilet sobbing quietly, scared she's about to go to prison and leave her life behind. She sniffles and flushes the toilet and pulls up her underwear and enters the room after wiping away her tears and stares at Larry.
"What?"he asks.
"You look beautiful too." She smiles.
He smiles and invites her back to bed. "Come on.Get in." he says as she gets into bed and they start kissing. "Hey. You're crying." Larry says.
"Shhh…just fuck me." She sighs.
"Piper…" he begins.
"Shut up. Please…just please…" she sighs with held back tears.
"Okay." He nods and they start kissing again and have sex once again.
~End of Flashback~
Piper awakens to DeMarco shaking the bed. "Chapman. Hey, Chapman." DeMarco says.
"What?" Piper mutters.
"Rise and shine. Come on." DeMarco explains.
"What, what?" Piper mumbles.
"You want time to shower and eat, you gotta get up…" DeMarco continues as Piper sits up.
"Aw look at your eyes. You should put some cold water on 'em." DeMarco says noticing Piper clearly had a rough nights sleep.
"Okay. Thanks." Piper replies.
"Take a nice shower, and get dressed and you'll start to feel normal soon enough. You got flip-flops?" DeMarco asks.
"No." Piper sighs.
"Oh, honey. There's wicked fungus in the showers." DeMarco explains. Piper sits up and looks at the maxi pads. She decides to get creative.
Piper is in the showers, wearing her maxi pad shoe inventions. The speaker makes an announcement in the background. "All inmates in B dorm must be checked for lice. Repeat. All inmates in B dorm must be checked for lice." The speaker says.
A black inmate, Tasha "Taystee" Jefferson, walks in and knocks on Piper's shower curtain and clears her throat.
"Oh. I'll be out in a sec, I swear." Piper says.
"Mmhm. I'll wait. There best be some hot water left." Taystee says.
"There wasn't very much when I started." Piper sighs.
"Mmhm, man hurry." Taystee says opening Piper's curtain.
"Alright. Okay. Okay. I'm done. I'm out. I'm totally out." Piper says as she turns off the shower and grabs her towel.
"Damn you got some nice titties!" Taystee laughs.
Piper blushes. "Oh, thank you." Piper says.
"You got them TV titties. They stand up on their own, all perky and everything." Taystee laughs and then notices Piper's maxi-shoes.
"Thanks." Piper says.
"Hey, you know they sell flip-flops at the commissary." Taystee says.
"My money's not in yet so…" Piper mutters.
"Oh, well you creative. I'll give you that, high tits." Taystee laughs.
"Okay. So um what was your name?" Piper asks.
"I'm Taystee. Now get the fuck out of the way." Taystee says.
"Okay." Piper smiles and walks away as Taystee gets in the shower and sings.
Piper walks over to the other side of the bathroom where the toilet stalls are and she hears a Spanish woman yelling in the stall. Piper looks under the stall to make sure there is only one person in there. Piper is confused the door opens and the Spanish inmate stares at Piper before shouting, "Boo!" Startling Piper and Piper gasps. Piper continues heading toward the exit but something takes her attention. She looks over and stares as she sees Morello leaning up against the shower wall and Nicky is licking Morello's pussy and playing with her tits. Morello moans with pleasure and Nicky spots Piper and winks at her. Piper keeps walking.
Piper is called to Mr Healy's office. "Morning Chapman, how are you feeling? You've spent your first night in prison and you had a nice shower." Healy says.
"Well I've always loved getting clean. I love baths. I love showers. It's my happy place - was my happy place..." Piper sighs.
"Okay…what happened? Were you sexually assaulted in the showers, Chapman?" Healy asks.
"No… no…" Piper says.
"Okay then, well, how'd you sleep?" he asks.
"It was rough. But it's a new day right?" Piper smiles politely.
"Right. So after you've had breakfast, head on over to orientation in the recreation room. You'll see all the new inmates over the past week there and be lectured about how things work here." Healy explains.
"Okay. Well, thank you Mr Healy." Piper smiles. "Anytime, Chapman." He smiles.
In the cafeteria line, Piper lines up waiting for her meal today, hoping to apologize once again to Red. Piper is between DeMarco and another inmate in line. "Everyone gets a piece of fruit at breakfast. I'm telling you. It'll all start to feel normal soon, really." DeMarco says trying to comfort Piper. You hungry?" DeMarco asks.
"I'm starving." Piper says before the black transgender inmate, Sophia Bursett, beside her starts playing with her hair. "Excuse me." Piper says then looks at the woman up and down noticing the woman is manly.
"Such pretty hair! When those roots start to show be sure to come and see me okay? I'll take good care of you. But even if you don't come to me, don't go to Danita. She'll burn your shit out of your scalp. Go. Line's moving." Sophia says.
Piper smiles politely and moves forward. "Wait, Chapman. Are you Chapman?" Gina, one of the cafeteria workers asks.
"Yes." Piper replies.
Gina hands Piper a tray. "Red said she made that special for you." Gina winks.
"Wow! Thanks! Tell her I said Thanks." Piper smiles.
"I don't say anything I'm just workin' - Next!" Gina says.
Piper then walks over to a table and joins Nicky, Morello and DeMarco.
"Man, I'm tellin' you before my teeth got knocked out I had this awesome gap. Now they look like Chiclets! Look!" Nicky says.
"You're crazy! You're fake teeth are beautiful. Bet you'll never get the food stuck in 'em so you got the nice, fresh breath all the time. It's minty, and it's beautiful, it's like God put them in you every day. A Summer breeze is coming over here." Morello smiles.
"Yeah? You like that? Nicky laughs.
"Always smell pretty… yeah, yeah." Morello says.
Piper begins to unwrap her foiled special and reveals what looks to be an English muffin. She opens the muffin to reveal a bloody tampon.
"Oh! Oh! Oh what did you do?" Morello laughs with disgust.
"Ugh, She insulted the food in front of Red." Nicky explains.
"Oh, jeez. I don't think you'll be eating for a while." Morello laughs.
"Oh god just, put it away. I'm enjoying' menopause very much right now. Thank you." DeMarco laughs.
"You gotta figure out how to make things right with Red." Morello says.
"Oh, and yeah. You gotta go down to laundry. Don't forget that. And check the elastic on all the pants. Mm. Don't let them give you stretched out garbage." DeMarco explains.
"Oh and orientation starts in ten minutes." Morello adds. Piper starts to freak out. It's so overwhelming. She's gonna have a panic attack. She is embarrassed and scared.
"At least you had a nice shower this morning, right? Think I saw you in there?" Nicky laughs. Piper begins to get too overwhelmed.
"Um I…I don't I don't know. Um Excuse me." Piper sighs and gets up to leave.
"Hey, hey, hey. Don't forget. You gotta bus your tray." Morello says as Piper leaves taking the tray with her.
"Where's she goin' with that tray? She can't take that outta here!" DeMarco laughs.
"Eh, she'll figure it out." Nicky adds.
"Was she really in the shower this morning?" Morello asks. Nicky gives Morello a seductive look.
Piper storms outside and drops the tray and is hyperventilating and needs to calm down. She's sees the reflection of an inmate approaching her, in a puddle. Piper lifts her head up and gasps. It's Alex Vause, her old lover from her past whom she carried drug money for.
"Maybe this is a bad time to say hi, huh?" Alex mutters. Piper screams.
Episode Two:
Unpopular Attention
Piper rushes back inside and goes back to her room. She paces back and forwards freaking out. Is this real? Is Alex really in here with her? She falls into a mini fit of rage and kicks the cupboard and grunts.
"Inmate! Knock it off!" Officer Wade Donaldson shouts.
"Sorry!" Piper grunts. She slaps herself and she sits on the floor and crosses her legs before rocking back and forward. "Is this real? Is this really happening? I'm being starved. I'm in prison with Alex – Alex is here…oh my god…" she says to herself trying to take deep breaths.
Moment's later DeMarco and Miss Rosa enter. "Chapman? Shouldn't you be at orientation?" DeMarco asks.
"Uh…" Piper mutters.
"Are you okay?" DeMarco asks.
"You shouldn't sit on the floor…even though this room is for inmates that are new and have medical needs so it's mostly sterilised doesn't mean it's clean enough for your ass." Rosa jokes and lies on her bed.
"I'm fine. I'm fine…I gotta go…orientation…which is…where?" Piper asks – still frazzled and overwhelmed by everything.
"The recreation room, at the end of the hall past the cafeteria." DeMarco explains.
"Right. Thanks." Piper says and heads to orientation.
Piper makes her way to the recreation room where there are several new inmates from the past week sitting waiting for orientation start. Piper notices Alex sitting in the back row and wants to avoid Alex at all costs so tries to sit next to someone else.
"That chair's broke! You can't sit there." An inmate, Leanne Taylor grunts. Piper nervously walks over to another empty seat – closer to Alex and rolls her eyes before sitting.
Officer Mendez then steps up in front of them and gets their attention. "Attention, ladies. Please listen up and pay attention and remember the rules." Mendez demands.
Dayanara Diaz then enters. "Sorry I'm late." She says.
"Sit down." Mendez grunts. Daya nervously walks over and sits in the front row.
Mr Caputo then stands up and begins his welcome speech. "Hi. Welcome to the Federal Department of Corrections, where we strive to maintain facilities that are secure, humane, and cost effective. Night school classes are offered three nights a week. There are a variety of recreational activities available and clinical visits are offered at the inmates' request. But enough about policy. Let's get to the important stuff…CO Mendez would you please step up and tell us about weapons in prison." Caputo says.
Mendez stands up and begins. "This is a piece of copper pipe and it was taken from the laundry room. It's hard. This was used to break two ribs. Could also be used to crack your skull, break your knee, muss up your makeup - amongst other things. This is a plastic toothbrush with a razor blade melted right into it. Easily could kill someone." Mendez explains and then he mimics cutting actions on the wrists, throat and lower region. The inmates shake their heads. "Yeah, probably shouldn't have showed you that one." He chuckles.
Piper rolls her eyes and casually glances back at Alex who gives her a friendly smile. Piper turns away.
"The women who made and used these items are now in the SHU or down at the max facility with added sentences. Their lives are basically over." Mendez continues.
"Thank you for that…undetailed lecture Officer Mendez. Now our nurse Igme Dimaguiba will now give you a quick understanding of how you may feel during your time here, and please keep in mind that how you feel matters and there are a variety of ways we can address and help your needs." Caputo says before Nurse Igme steps up.
"Suicidal thoughts will come. Frequently. Some days, it'll feel like there are no other thoughts. "Do it," they'll say. "End it," they'll say. "Come on." But these thoughts are just thoughts and you cannot let them control you in here. Please come see me during clinical hours and I can go into more details on that issue." Nurse Igme explains.
"Thank you, now just quickly – You'll be assigned bunks soon. Uniform issue is next week. State your correct size on the form. No baggy hip-hop pants – and yes, I'm looking' at you." Caputo says and stares at Janae Watson. Janae cringes with confusion and shrugs. "Now, to wrap things up our assistant to the warden would like to say a few things." Caputo says before she steps up.
"Hello, ladies. I am Natalie Figueroa. I am the Executive Assistant to the warden. I try and visit often. If you have any concerns, specifically regarding your needs as women, please come to me in my office. I will handle them personally." Fig smiles.
"Yeah, she will." Alex mutters – checking her out.
"I had a question, actually." Daya says.
"Oh…Today I'm only here as a formality. Anyway ladies enjoy your time here at Litchfield and please stay out of trouble." Fig laughs and struts out. The inmates giggle among themselves mocking Fig's stuck-up attitude.
In the kitchen, the butch – Carrie 'Big Boo' Black, has given Red a board from the wood shop like she had previously requested. "Thanks for this back board, here's your yoghurt." Red says. "Pleasure doin' business with you." Big Boo smiles and heads out. "Lindy take the board to my bunk." Red bosses.
One of Red's helpers, Gina Murphy walks over with a clipboard. "So we need request forms for next spring's non-perishables." Gina says.
"Bring 'em tonight." Red replies.
"Tori's getting out in six weeks, so we gotta train someone new on the feed slicer." Gina says.
"Look into little Sara. Make sure she never stabbed people." Red says as she starts to chop up some vegetables.
"And Betty's been acting up again. The bitch is gonna fuck us." Gina says with worry.
"A little patience. She's been here a lot of years. I'll deal with her." Red assures her. Gina takes notes. "The blondie?" Red asks referring to Piper.
"Yes. She's going nuts." Gina explains.
"That one's a light touch." Red rolls her eyes.
"Well, you did serve her a bloody tampon." Gina sighs.
"Yeah. Ha. I'm proud of that one." Red chuckles.
"Was it yours?" Gina asks.
"My what?" Red asks.
"Your blood?" Gina says.
"Ha! Gina…I admire your optimism…I take it as a compliment but honey, in case you haven't noticed I'm not that young – and thank god too! But there's plenty of red flowing fish in this sea." Red explains.
"Oh but, who's was it?" Gina asks.
Red gives Gina a sickened look. "Does it really matter?" Red asks. Gina is silent for a second.
"I guess not." She gulps.
~Flashback~
~Red's life before prison ~
Red and her husband, Dmitri were owners of a market and one day Red was working hard as always cooking her most famous dishes and her husband was staring over at some wealthy looking Russian men and their wives sitting at the tables. "What are you doing?" Red asks in Russian.
"They are well-known, powerful people Galina…" Dmitri explains.
"Hold this." She says and hands him a tray.
"You should go talk to them – the ladies." Dmitri urges.
"Please don't drop that." Red says – ignoring her husband's forcefulness.
"Go on, get out there – shake hands." he explains but she is too busy focusing on the food of which she is most passionate about making. "Are you listening to me? It's important that we make this connection. These are very important people, my darling. Please, go meet his wife." Dmitri insists.
Red looks over at the ladies, they are all pretty and perfect and Red is nervous. "I've been cooking all day. I smell like onions…I can't…what if they don't like me…" Red mutters nervously.
"Nonsense, come." Dmitri insists and drags Red over to the main counter. Red quickly fixes her hair. "Ladies and gentleman! I have someone to make you acquaintance – my lovely wife, Galina." Dmitri smiles proudly.
The Russian men and women stare at her – judging the couple's lower class. Red smiles politely.
~End of flashback~
After orientation, Piper makes her way to Mr Healy's office. "Chapman, take a seat." He says. Piper sits down and doesn't say anything. "Is something wrong?" he asks.
She holds her head in her hands. She grunts and tries not to cry. "I have to go to another prison. A different one. You have to move me." Piper begs.
Mr Healy chuckles. "Oh…Like this is the Radisson and you don't like your room? Why?" He asks.
"Why isn't this the Radisson?" Piper asks confused.
"Why do you need to be moved? Did someone try to engage with you sexually? Tell me what happened out there and I can see what I can do, because let me tell you – lesbian activity will not be tolerated." Mr Healy explains.
Piper sighs and takes a deep breathe and she thinks for a moment. She could make a big deal about nothing and draw attention to herself but that would look bad because she's only new so she decides to take the high road. She takes a deep breath again. "It's fine. I just freaked out. I'll be fine." She sighs.
"I'm sure you will." Mr Healy smiles. Piper politely smiles back. "How was orientation?" he asks.
"It was okay…" she replies.
"Good. Now, is that all Chapman?" He asks.
"Yes, that's all sir." She smiles and she stands up and leaves.
Meanwhile, Daya heads into the Spanish dorm to find her mother and the other Spanish ladies stare.
"Check this shit out." A pregnant inmate, Maria Ruiz, says.
Another inmate, Blanca Flores shakes her head "She going to see Aleida?" Blanca asks. Maria shrugs.
Daya walks over to her mother's cube where she is sitting with another young inmate, Maritza Ramos, who quickly guards the cube. "Who are you?" Maritza demands.
"Her daughter. Who are you?" Daya asks.
"Her daughter!" Maritza replies.
Daya is confused and looks at her mother, who is lying on her bed filing her nails. "Down Maritza." Aleida says and Maritza stands beside Aleida giving Daya an intimidating look.
"What's the matter, you don't wanna hit me again?" Daya asks.
"From here on out, this place will hit you for me." Aleida replies.
"Look, this orange thing, it's like, I glow in the dark. The guard with the moustache keeps staring at me." Daya explains.
"Since when do you hate that?" Aleida asks. Maritza giggles.
"You got any extra khakis?" Daya asks.
"No. Well, not in your size. But don't be in such a rush to get out of that orange. Once you're in these, you're old news." Aleida says. Daya rolls her eyes and walks off.
Blanca walks over to the cube. "Who was that?" she asks.
"She claimed to be her daughter." Maritza says.
"Aye?" Blanca asks with confusion. Aleida nods.
"Oh shit… like mother like daughter." Maria laughs in her cube – overhearing this.
Later that day, at lunch in the cafeteria, Piper lines up but gets nothing. She goes and sits at a table by herself and she stares down. Alex slowly walks past and discretely slides a wrapped up cube of cornbread and whispers, "I heard what they're doing to you. Peace offering?" Piper keeps her head down - she would rather starve than accept help from the woman who landed her in prison in the first place.
One of Red's followers, Norma Romano, watches this and plans on telling Red. Alex rolls her eyes and walks off. Piper crunches up the cornbread and she throws it in the trashcan and begins to walk out. Norma smiles with relief and goes to Red to fill her in.
As Piper tries to leave the cafeteria Mendez stops her.
"They're not letting me eat." Piper explains.
"That sounds like a whole lot of your problem." He mutters. Piper rolls her eyes. "We don't leave lunch till lunch is over!" he shouts making an embarrassing scene for Piper.
Piper turns around and begins to walk to a table as the inmates stare at her. She sees a black woman sitting alone, her hair in Bantu knots and she excitingly smiles and invites Piper to sit with her. But Piper is grabbed by Morello. "Uh-uh. Come sit with us. You don't want to get involved with Crazy Eyes." Morello says and Piper follows her to the table where Nicky, Yoga Jones and a couple of other inmates are sitting.
"Rough morning?" Yoga Jones asks.
"Something like that." Piper sighs.
"I'm sorry. We should've warned you about Red." Nicky says.
"Well, I just didn't expect to be punished while I was getting punished." Piper mutters.
"Yeah, you gotta fix that. Make it right." Morello says.
"How?" Piper asks.
"I find it best to confront things head-on." Yoga Jones says.
Piper sighs. "Know what? I'm just gonna apologize. I'm just gonna very sincerely apologize. People make mistakes. People say stupid things all the time." Piper says felling confident that her nice-lady charm will get her out of this situation.
"Uh-huh." Nicky mutters sarcastically.
"She's gotta understand that, right?" Piper asks.
Morello, Yoga Jones and Nicky exchange a look. Nicky chuckles. Yoga Jones goes back to sipping her tea. "Sure kid…that'll work." Nicky laughs. Piper ignores their doubt and plans on apologising straight out.
After lunch, Taystee is at work duty, which is in the library, and Mr Healy walks in goes into the aisle next to her. "Jefferson. What's the scoop?" He asks.
"White girl said somethin' nasty about Red's food, then Red sent her a message 'cause white girl better recognize how shit works around here." Taystee whispers to him.
"A message?" Mr Healy asks.
"Egg McTampon. Rare." Taystee reveals. Mr Healy cringes. "So now nobody's givin' her nothin' to eat. Not until Red say so." She adds.
"That's…disturbing… Thanks Jefferson." Mr Healy says.
"This ain't gonna get Red in trouble, right? 'Cause I ain't no snitch." Taystee says with worry.
"No, of course not. I mean, probably not. I haven't decided yet." He says and begins to leave.
"Hold up." She says and stops him. "Where my candy?" she demands. Mr Healy hands her a packet of skittles and leaves.
Red is in the bathroom lying on a base of towels across the sinks reading a book and listening to her Russian opera radio as her close friend and helper, Norma, is shaving Red's legs for her. "Get me another towel." Red says to Norma. Norma grabs another towel and slides it underneath Red's back.
Piper then walks in. "Is this a bad time?" she asks.
"Hold it." Red says and holds up her finger, as she is too engrossed in the book she is reading at the moment. Piper stands there awkwardly and waits. Red finishes the chapter and she smiles and puts in her bookmark and stares at the ceiling waiting to hear what Piper has to say.
"About what I said yesterday? It was careless and it was rude. And I am really sorry. I appreciate everything that you do here, I can't imagine how much work it takes, and since we're clearly gonna be spending some time together…I think we need to try and get along." Piper sighs – sounding polite and desperate.
"Don't forget to shave the toes, Norma." Red says as Norma makes her way down to Red's feet.
"Look, I can tell you take pride in what you do, and I so respect that. If someone insulted my work I would be…" Piper begins but Red cuts her off,
"What is it, your work?" she asks.
"Oh. Um, I make artisanal bath products. We got into Barneys." Piper explains feeling proud.
"Artisanal?" Red chuckles.
"I'm just saying we're not that different, you and I. That's all. And I understand how stupid I've been. I really apologize. I'm sorry. Really." Piper begs.
"You seem sweet. You really do, honey. But I can't do shit with "I'm sorry." Not in here. Might not look like it, but there's rules in this place. The most important of which is, the second you're perceived as weak, you already are." Red explains.
Piper's face shows disappointment and worry. "What do you want me to do?" Piper asks.
Red then groans as her back pain increases and Red sits up with discomfort. "You're a smart girl. Figure something out." Red says. Piper sighs and leaves.
~Flashback~
~Red tries to make friends~
After being forced into the social circle of the rich Russian wives, Red was invited to go walking with the women through the park one morning. Red was nervous and did a lot of talking and was making several jokes. "So the third time, same thing happens. And the farmer looks at his wife, then back at the penguin, and finally the penguin goes, "He's not an eggplant, man. He's retarded." Red laughs but the other ladies roll their eyes and are silent. "You get it? 'Cause he…" Red begins but one of the wives stops her.
"We get it!" Marina, the main wife says.
"My brother was retarded." Sonya, another wife says.
"Oh, so sorry to hear that." Red says. It is again quiet for a moment until Red breaks the silence again. "You know, my husband's a little slow. Says he was dropped on his head when he was born. Just my luck. They couldn't have dropped him on his dick?" Red laughs.
Marina rolls her eyes. "I think I slept wrong last night. Should we call it a short walk today, ladies?" Marina mutters.
"Yes." The wives agree.
"Oh, you barely broke a sweat." Red says.
"Oh, my son has dentist appointment." Sonya adds.
"Oh, okay." Red says.
"We're close to your house, no?" Marina asks hoping to get rid of Red.
"Yeah. Right over there. Same time tomorrow?" Red smiles.
"We'll let you know." Marina says as she and the wives walk off and Red smiles and heads home. Happy she has found friends in America.
~End of flashback~
That afternoon, Larry comes in for his visit with Piper and he makes his way over to the front desk. "Oh, look, it's the fiancé." Officer Bell says.
Larry chuckles and hands her his I.D. "I should be on the list." He smiles.
"And I should be on American Idol, but I can't sing for shit." She replies. Larry remains quiet as Officer Bell checks the list. "No Larry Bloom here, sorry." She says.
"What?" Larry asks with confusion.
"Oh, this is from last week." Officer Bell mutters.
"Where's this week's?" Larry asks.
"In another office." She mutters and goes back to reading her magazine. Larry stands there awkwardly and is waiting for her to do something. Officer Bell chuckles. "Have a seat, I'll get this sorted." She says.
Moment's later, Piper makes her way to the visitation room and she smiles as she sees Larry sitting and waiting for her. "When in the visitation room, you're allowed two hugs, one on arrival, and one on departure." the speakers announce.
"Oh, baby. Hey!" Larry smiles as Piper rushes over and hugs him.
"Hi honey." Piper smiles.
"Oh! Hi." Larry says and holds her tight and kisses her.
"That's enough!" Officer Charles Ford says.
"Sorry." Larry says before he and Piper sit. "I'm so sorry I'm late." He says.
"No. It's fine. You're here." Piper smiles.
"I swear I was here, but I think they were, like, deliberately fucking with me." Larry explains.
"No, whatever, it's fine. You're here now right." Piper smiles.
"Oh! You look great! I mean, who knew you could rock orange?" Larry smiles.
"Please. Come on!" she laughs.
"Seriously, and your face is like all cheekboney." Larry comments.
"Well, I haven't eaten since Wednesday." Piper sighs.
"What?" Larry asks with concern.
"She's starving me out." Piper reveals before noticing the vending machines.
"Who?" Larry asks.
"Oh, my God. Do you have any change?" Piper asks desperately in hopes she will score food from the vending machines.
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so. What do you want?" Larry replies.
"Literally anything. Go." Piper says excitedly. Larry and Piper walk over to the vending machine but it is marked with a sign 'Out of Order' Piper almost collapses. "No!" she mutters.
"I don't think they work, honey." Larry says.
"No. No! No." Piper grunts and kicks the machine.
"Inmate, step away from the machine." Officer Ford demands.
"He just called you 'inmate'." Larry laughs.
"You too, sir." Officer Ford adds.
"Sorry." Larry says as he and Piper head back to their table.
"This is her. She did this." Piper mutters with realisation.
"Who? Who are you talking about?" Larry asks with confusion.
"The woman who runs the kitchen." Piper whispers.
"What? Why are we whispering?" Larry asks.
"She's starving me out!" Piper mutters.
"What, why?" he asks.
"I insulted the food." Piper mutters tearing up with frustration.
"Oh, Piper. Your foot in mouth disease?" Larry says.
"I'm an idiot. She's issued a fucking fatwa against me." Piper grunts and puts her head in her hands.
"Oh Piper…" Larry sighs.
"Oh my god…I know what I have to do…I think I'm gonna have to fight her." Piper says with realisation and looks at Larry.
"What?" he laughs.
"How am I supposed to prison-fight an old Russian lady with back problems?" Piper says with worry.
"Hey, Piper, come on. You're not. That's ridiculous. You don't have to fight anybody. Okay?" Larry assures her as she starts to cry and freaks out. "Hey, hey, hey, stop. Stop. It's okay Pipes." Larry says holding her hand and caressing her cheek.
"No touching." Officer Ford grunts.
"Jesus!" Larry mutters and stops touching her. "It's gonna be okay." Larry says.
"Mm…" Piper moans.
"All right?" He asks.
"Uh-uh." Piper says with worry.
"Your commissary money's coming, right? I sent the check the minute I left here. Express mail. Even if you have to live off Snickers bars, it's gonna be okay." Larry says, making light of the situation.
"Oh gosh, I hate that you're seeing me like this." Piper cries.
"At least I get to see you." Larry smiles.
"Tell me that you're not watching Mad Men." Piper says.
"What?" he asks with confusion.
"Promise me you're not watching Mad Men without me, that when I get out of here, we're gonna binge watch it, together, in bed, with take-out from Geri's, yes that sounds amazing." Piper smiles.
"Yes. Yes of course. 100%. Promise." Larry laughs.
"Visiting hours have come to a close." Officer Ford announces.
"Jesus. Really? That was like two minutes." Larry mutters.
"Visitors, please make your way to the exit." Officer Ford adds.
"We can hug again." Larry says.
"What?" Piper asks with confusion.
"Once coming in, once going out. Come here." Larry says as they stand up and they embrace. "Oh! I love you, babe." Larry says and they kiss. Larry leaves and Piper watches as he goes. She misses him already.
Another one of Red's girls, Tricia Miller walks over to the vending machines and switches them on and removes the sign. Piper sees this and is shocked – Red deliberately had the machines turned off. "Sorry." Tricia says and walks off. Piper is filled with frustration. She knows what she has to do.
That night, Piper is on her bunk, freaking out. Worrying about confronting Red. She doesn't want to fight an old Russian lady. Miss Rosa is on the bed beneath Piper filing her nails, DeMarco is asleep with her machine on and Daya and Gloria are asleep too whilst Nicky is on the bed above DeMarco listing to music and eating pretzels and notices Piper's stressed look. "You okay, Chapman?" Nicky asks and removes her headphones.
"Yeah." Piper lies.
"You know, I'd give you a pretzel but the walls have eyes, and I'm not retarded." Nicky says.
"It's fine. I don't expect you to betray your mom." Piper says.
"Yeah, what do you plan on doing about that anyway?" Nicky asks.
"I don't know…I'm going over the options in my head and there aren't a lot so…" Piper mutters.
"Yeah well, your creative right? Well you'll think of something…" Nicky says.
"When I first got here, I had troubles like you. There was a 'disagreement'. Then we brawled. That's how you settled things. And if I had won, I'd have been la jefa. Instead of this. Thank God I got cancer. No one fucks with cancer." Miss Rosa says.
"Right…Good talk." Nicky says and goes to bed.
Piper lies down and stares up at the ceiling. She's going to have to fight.
Meanwhile, Red is in her cube sleeping and Gina is standing over her whispering trying to wake her up. "Red? Red?" Gina whispers.
Red is startled and wakes up. "What is it?" Red asks.
"Betty's dead." Gina reveals.
"Oh shit…" Red sighs.
The next morning, Red and her staff are trying to deal with Betty's death – Betty was the freezer – "She was a good girl." Red mutters.
"No one heard her go." Gina adds.
"Get over it. It's a freezer." Officer Joel Luschek – the electrician - says. Red rolls her eyes. "See, what happened here was a breach in the main coolant line. Big, nasty breach. Ugly breach. Bad, bad breach." Luschek explains.
"What's that smell?" Tricia asks.
"That's the Freon. Some people use it for huffing. Makes for a super intense, but short-lived high. Similar to crack, uh, but without the migraines." Luschek explains.
Red and her girls then get hard at work sorting out the items out of the freezer. "Put those bags in ice water, keep them cold, Norma." Red orders. "Don't stack those, Gina." Red adds.
Miss Claudette then finds a frozen cat in a bag. "Nice pussy." She mutters.
"Don't ask." Red says.
"I don't intend to." Miss Claudette laughs.
"Thanksgiving's coming twice this year, ladies. Spread the word." Red says.
Piper then enters the kitchen. "Okay, I understand what you have to do." Piper sighs.
"What?" Red asks as she is shifting frozen products.
"I'm not a fighter. But go ahead." Piper says, willing to take a punch from Red if that's what it'll take for Red to forgive her.
"I'm a little busy here. Norma, pick up those rags." Red says with frustration as she is trying to sort out the situation.
"I'm not going to swing first." Piper says.
"Good." Red rolls her eyes.
"Just hit me and get it over with." Piper says irritably.
"I said I'm a little busy!" Red grunts.
"I'm not leaving until you do it." Piper demands.
Red stares at Piper and walks toward her slowly, as everyone gets quiet and stops what they are doing to watch the scene.
"Wow." Luschek mutters.
"You want me to hit you?" Red asks.
"Yeah." Piper says getting ready to flinch.
"Okay, get ready…" Red begins as Piper closes her eyes. "You called my food disgusting! You're not getting hazed, you're not getting harassed - you're getting starved. To death!" Red grunts and pushes Piper into the corner against the wall. Piper's eyes fill with fear. "You'll leave Litchfield as a skeleton in a body bag. Pow!" she shouts, scaring Piper. "I know you don't know shit about this place but I am the mother hen, I rule this place…your either with me or you're nothing…on your own! You made your choice! Now, march your yuppie ass outta my kitchen." Red shouts.
Piper puts her head down and begins to walk out.
"Oh, slowly, so you don't burn too many calories." Red adds. Once Piper is gone Red sighs and looks at the ground.
"That was good of you Red, to let her off the hook." Gina says.
"She's not off the hook Gina." Red assures her.
"Whatever, I would have hit her." Gina replies.
"Just get back to work! I don't like confrontations…" Red mutters.
Luschek begins to work on the freezer but gets zapped. "Oh, shit! Did no one think to turn this off?" he grunts. Red gives him a look and storms out with frustration.
~Flashback~
~The confrontation~
On her way home from the market, Red sees Marina and the Russian wives out for a walk. At first Red is upset that they didn't invite her but then she sees them mocking her and making fun of her. She's hurt. Red marches over to them to confront them.
"Oh no…It's the one without culture." Sonya mutters.
"And the penguin goes, "He's not an eggplant, he's retarded." It's fucking funny!" Red shouts – trying to prove her joke is funny.
"It's just not. That awful dye job on your head make me giggle though." Marina says and the wives laugh.
Red is angry, she isn't good at confrontations. Out of rage she punches Marina's right tit – puncturing the implant. Marina cries.
"Aah! You popped her tit!" Sonya gasps.
"Oh, shit." Red gasps with shock. She's terrified. What has she done…
~End of flashback~
Meanwhile, Daya is on her way to breakfast and on the staircase she passes Officer Bennett. "Can I have some gum?" she asks.
"Sorry. Can't do that. Inmates aren't allowed." Bennett explains.
"I get it. You can't give special treatment." Daya replies.
"Yeah, it'd look funny. Like I liked you or something…" Bennett says. "Don't you?" Daya asks – flirting with him. Bennett blushes nervously and walks away.
In the recreation room, Taystee is sitting with her prison bestie, Poussey Washington and they are looking at a magazine. "Damn." Poussey says looking at one of the models in the magazine.
"Yeah. That girl got some nice legs." Taystee comments.
One of the Spanish girls, Marisol 'Flaca' Gonzales walks in and reaches into the icebox and finds an ice cream. "Ew, what the fuck is this?" Flaca asks and holds it up.
"Oh, it's my treat I'm savin'. Just leave it." Taystee laughs.
"Leave it? Fuck leave it! You can't put your sticky ice cream shit in here." Flaca says.
"It ain't just an ice cream. It's a King Cone." Taystee grunts back and snatches it out of Flaca's hand.
Piper then walks in as Flaca knocks it out of Taystee's hand and it flies across the room to Piper's feet. Piper is startled and backs into the corner to avoid conflict as Taystee and Flaca begin to push each other and Flaca tackles Taystee to the floor.
"Man! Get off me, girl!" Taystee grunts.
Other black inmates and other Spanish inmates rush over to get their girls in line.
"Get this bitch off of me!" Taystee shouts as Flaca pulls a chunk of Taystee's hair out and Gloria pulls her off Taystee. "The B fucking took my hair out!" Taystee grunts.
"Puta!" Flaca grunts back.
Officer Jordan Thompson rushes in. "Please tell me y'all ain't fighting over ice cream." He shouts.
"King Cone." Taystee mutters.
"Ladies, go get ready for breakfast…now!" he orders them.
Red storms down the hallway and passes officer Bennett. "Where is his highness?" she asks.
Bennett is confused because Red shouldn't be in this part of the hall. "You're out of bounds inmate!" Bennett says.
Red rushes into the staff men's bathroom where Healy is in a stall reading a paper. "Healy?" she says.
Healy is startled and he flushes the toilet. "Jesus Christ!" Healy grunts.
"Sir, I told her not to come in…" Bennett explains.
"I need a new freezer." Red says covering her nose from the stench.
"We can talk about this later, Red." Healy sighs.
"You have been saying that for three years." Red says.
"We're dealing with a very serious budget situation here." Healy explains.
"Should I subdue the inmate?" Bennett asks. Red gives him a dark look.
"The warden has been very clear about spending this quarter." Healy continues.
"Okay, you want me to walk? Fine! I'll walk, happily. Remember the last time I gave back the keys to the kitchen? Huh?" Red says.
Healy's face fills with concern. "I'll see what I can do." He says.
"Thank you." Red sighs and walks out and takes a deep breathe as she passes Caputo. "Ugh, like a dying animal it smells in there." She says.
"A dying animal, or just a man who eats your food?" Caputo replies.
Red looks at him as if to say "asshole" she rolls her eyes. "Ugh with you, too." She says and walks off.
At breakfast, Piper joins Nicky and Morello. "Morning Chapman." Morello smiles.
"Morning." Piper sighs.
"I heard you've had an interesting one so far…" Nicky laughs.
"What?" Morello asks.
"Oh you didn't hear? Piper came into the kitchen this morning and wanted to fight Red…ha! Geez…" Nicky laughs.
"Oh, that's…that's so messed up." Morello replies.
"Piper, when I said you need to make it right I didn't mean fight the bitch…okay don't listen to cancer tits…the chemo makes her clueless…I thought you were gonna get creative…" Nicky says.
"Yeah, like your maxi pad shower shoes. And you know, you shouldn't say that stuff about Miss Rosa, Nichols." Morello adds. Nicky rolls her eyes.
Piper then gets an idea. She realises what she can give Red. "I got it!" Piper smiles.
"You do?" Nicky asks.
"Yep!" Piper smiles confidently.
"Just like that?" Morello asks.
"Just like that." Piper nods. Piper then looks across at another table and sees Alex. Alex winks at her but Piper frowns and looks away.
"Friend of yours?" Nicky asks.
"Nope. She's just…nobody…" Piper replies.
"Oh so she's an old fuck-buddy?" Nicky laughs.
"No. She's nothing like that…can we move on please." Piper grunts.
"Oh you hit a nerve…" Morello laughs.
"Hey Morello, we still meeting at the chapel later on for our regular Saturday afternoon chow time?" Nicky asks.
"Oh I do love me some lady time… but do you gotta announce it like that? I don't want the whole prison thinkin' I'm some kinda slut that's cheating on her fiancé… cause if Christopher ever found out…he'd…well he wouldn't be happy. I could never hurt him like that." Morello explains.
"Oh please, you are a slut. Alright? No one in here can judge you for shit and poor little Christopher ain't gonna find out…he's probably just happy someone is taking care of his girl's needs." Nicky winks.
"Aww…Nichols…" Morello smiles.
"Anyway, I am so jealous right now…since the freezer is broken there is so much food…" Piper says.
"Aw Hun, it's just not your day is it?" Morello sighs. Piper looks down and holds her stomach as it growls.
After breakfast, Piper and Nicky join the line to be served at the commissary. Mei Chang, an elderly Chinese inmate, runs the commissary.
Poussey walks up the counter. "Yo, y'all got headphones for movie night?" Poussey asks.
"Sold the last pair this morning." Chang says.
"That's some bullshit. I ain't tryin' to watch no silent movie." Poussey shouts.
"Sold out. Next." Chang sighs as Poussey storms off and Chang serves another inmate.
"Spanish ladies are calling you La Llorona, the wailing lady." Nicky says to Piper whilst they wait.
"Well, they would've screamed just as loud if someone handed them a used tampon sandwich." Piper mutters.
"Oh, yeah or if they suddenly saw an ex-girlfriend in prison. Hey, what's her name? Alex?" Nicky continues.
Piper's face fills with shock and she turns to Nicky. "What did she say to you?" Piper asks.
"Not a word. I just know dyke drama when I see it." Nicky replies.
"Well, can we not talk about please…" Piper sighs.
"You gonna buy something or not?" Chang asks.
Piper rushes to the counter. "Yes. Hi, um, I should have some credit here. My fiancé sent a check on Thursday I think." Piper says.
Chang shakes her head. "Take seven day to process." Chang says.
"What? Shit…" Piper grunts.
"Hey don't worry about it, you can use mine. It's not like you're going anywhere." Nicky says.
"For food?" Piper asks.
"Fuck no. I ain't that stupid." Nicky says.
"Okay." Piper says and moves out of the way so Nicky can move up to the counter.
"Yo, Chang." Nicky says.
"So, some rubber gloves." Piper whispers to Nicky. Nicky gives her a confused look. "Okay, so maybe some cocoa butter?" Piper adds.
"Uh, cocoa butter?" Nicky asks Chang. But Chang shakes her head.
"Maybe like a sieve of some kind. A strainer?" Piper continues.
"Okay. All right. Yo, you got a strainer?" Nicky replies.
"This is a cup. Knock yourself out." Chang says and hands Nicky a cup.
"Sorry Chapman, that's all I can do…" Nicky says.
"You know, thank you…thank you so much…this will do…thank you." Piper says and rushes off.
"No problem, kid." Nicky laughs.
In the salon, Sophia Bursett is working on Taystee's hair after having a chunk removed by Flaca. "You know how often I come by new weave? You probably gonna look like this till Christmas." Sophia explains.
"Uh-uh. Well, I paid you seven bottles of Pantene for this shit." Taystee replies.
"Ain't my fault you went all UFC over a King Cone. And if you call it "shit" one more time, you can take your ass down to Danita." Sophia replies.
"How much to fix it?" Taystee asks.
Piper then walks in and interrupts. "Excuse me?" Piper says. They both stare at her. "Hi. I'm Chapman." Piper begins. Sophia gives her a surprised look – she's heard talk about Piper's excitement as a newbie. "Yeah, that's me. Anyway, um I heard you might have something that I need." Piper begins.
"J. Crew is around the corner." Taystee laughs.
"Yeah. Uh, Cocoa butter, or Shea butter? Do you have either of those?" Piper asks.
"Maybe." Sophia replies.
"I would just need an ounce or two." Piper explains.
"Ain't you the one they're starving out?" Sophia asks.
"Yeah." Piper sighs.
"You got some fucked-up priorities. We work on a barter system here. You know what that means, right?" Sophia explains and prepares to get some cocoa butter for her.
"Yes." Piper replies.
"Three shower caps or a round brush. Whichever they got at commissary." Sophia explains.
"Gladly. I will get them to you the second that my money comes in." Piper explains.
"Ha!" Taystee laughs.
"Ooh, Credit declined." Sophia says and puts the lid back on her cocoa butter.
"Please." Piper begs.
""Please" is for commissary hoes and Oliver Twist. Now, some of us tryin' to work here." Sophia says and heads back over to Taystee.
"Hold up. I got an idea…But you ain't gonna like it." Taystee explains and smiles at Piper.
Moments later, Taystee is strutting down the hall with a few blonde curls in her hair as other inmates stare at her. "Got that new 'do, Boo." Taystee laughs.
Piper then walks down the hall holding a little bag of cocoa butter and she feels her head where a chunk of her hair was cut and used for Taystee's weave. Piper smiles and walks off.
In the kitchen, Red is preparing for lunch, cooking all the defrosted food from the freezer and Gina approaches her.
"Chapman's going around asking for weird stuff, Red." Gina says nervously.
"What stuff?" Red asks.
"She's trying to get her hands on hot peppers. You think she's gonna mace you?" Gina asks.
"I don't think so. But if she does, worst case, I'll get off my feet for a week." Red explains.
"No, but it wouldn't hurt your feet." Gina says.
"It's an expression." Red says and rolls her eyes.
"Mace burns your eyes." Gina adds.
"Jesus, God." Red laughs. Gina then walks off with confusion.
An inmate, Suzanne "Crazy Eyes Warren, whom works on the maintenance crew is mopping in the kitchen and overheard the conversation between Red and Gina. She smiles and gets an idea.
Meanwhile, DeMarco returns to her room and sees Piper stretching out a pair of underwear. "You okay, Chapman?" she asks.
Piper quickly lowers the underwear and hides the underwear in her cupboard. DeMarco looks at Rosa who moves her finger in a crazy motion. DeMarco nods and agrees.
Suzanne, the inmate who overheard Red and Gina talking, then startles piper. "Are you the new girl?" Suzanne asks.
"Yes, I am. Piper. And you are?" Piper mutters confusedly.
"Uh, Sue. It's short for Susie, which is short for Suzanne…I uh saw you in the cafeteria yesterday and invited you to sit with me but your friends wanted you to sit with them…and that's okay." Suzanne explains.
Piper is still confused.
"Anyway, you like spicy food?" Suzanne asks.
"Sometimes." Piper replies.
"Well one of my girlfriends, she was Mexican, real-talk. Uh She gone now, but she left these." Suzanne says and reveals three green hot peppers. "I heard you was looking." She adds.
Piper is surprised. "I have nothing to trade you for those." Piper sighs.
"People forget we was all new here once. It's good to know you ain't alone." Suzanne smiles and hands the peppers to Piper.
Piper smiles. "Thank you." She smiles.
Suzanne smiles and walks away.
"Uh, anyway, Rosa wanna go get a good table for lunch?" DeMarco says.
"Sure." Rosa replies and they leave.
Once their gone, Piper gets on her bunk after grabbing the underwear and her cup and she takes a bite of one of the peppers. Piper cries because of how hot it is.
Officer Mendez sees her crying and stands in the doorway. "Aw. Don't be so sad. Poor little baby. Lunch is in five. I hear it's a big one." He smiles and walks off.
Piper then continues to chew up the pepper then spit it into the underwear and uses the underwear like a strainer to strain the juices into the cup to make a pepper paste. After doing this to all the peppers she mixes in the cocoa butter to make a lotion.
In the cafeteria, Piper sits alone and watches as everyone enjoys the huge feast. Morello joins her. "Chapman, what are you up to? Did I hear you did business with Crazy Eyes?" she asks.
"Who?" Piper asks.
"Warren." Morello replies.
"Oh, you mean Suzanne? Yeah she helped me out with somethin' I guess. Why?" Piper replies.
"Oh nothing, let's just hope you don't regret it." Morello replies. Piper looks over at Suzanne and Suzanne smiles nervously.
In the cafeteria line Taystee is standing beside Maria and Gloria and bragging about her new hairstyle. "Ain't nobody got this. It's that hotness. That new shit. My hair is yellow as that corn right there, girl." Taystee says as she and Maria and Gloria laugh. "Man, look at all this food. Thank you dead Betty!" Taystee laughs.
Gloria is served a small amount of peas. "No, no, no. That won't do baby." Gloria says.
"Look, I love these things." Maria adds.
"I want extra." Gloria says. "
Yeah, can I get some more corn?" Taystee asks.
"No." Gina replies.
In the kitchen, Miss Claudette has finished a couple of trays. "Navi. Amy. Come take these trays please." She says.
Red then walks over with a bottle of prison hooch and two cups. "Forgot I even had this." Red says.
"Oh, no thanks, love, I'm too old for hooch." Claudette says.
"Don't insult me. Single malt. 12 year." Red explains as she pours some hooch into the cups.
Claudette takes a sip. "Oooh-eeee! Jesus Christ!" she gasps at how strong it is.
"And that was in '04. It's only gotten better with age." Red continues.
"So have we." Claudette smiles.
"Tell that to my ass." Red smiles. She and Claudette then cheers their cups and smile.
~Flashback~
~Red needs to make it right~
After her confrontation with Marina and the Russian wives, that night Red and Dmitri are arguing abut what happened.
"What the fuck were you thinking? After all Ganya's done for us. He loved those tits." Dmitri says.
"He'll get them back. There's plenty more of them at the tit store." Red grunts.
"Did you count to 10? You're supposed to count to 10." Dmitri continues.
"I never even wanted to speak to those pizdy! You made me!" Red cries.
"Why did you do such a thing?" Dmitri demands.
"Because they left me out! Because they made fun of me! Because no matter how hard you try and how much we want it, there's the people who serve the bread, and the people who eat the bread! And for once, it would be nice if you would be on my side." Red cries.
"I'm on your side, Galya. I'm with you. And together we gotta figure this out, cause this is bad. Real bad." Dmitri sighs.
"How bad?" Red asks.
"They want $60,000." Dmitri reveals.
"No boob job costs $60,000. It's crazy." Red cries with frustration.
"This one does." Dmitri replies.
Red sobs for a moment, regretting what she had done. "I was… I was just… They're just so mean." Red cries.
"So are the men they married. They meaner." Dmitri sighs.
"I'm sorry, Dima." Red cries and hugs him. "We'll figure out something. We always do. It's okay." He sighs as he holds his wife.
~End of flashback
Mr Healy and Mr Caputo then enter the kitchen with Luschek as he installs the new freezer Healy convinced Caputo to purchase. "That new freezer cost more than my car." Caputo says. Healy is silent as Red walks past and winks at him. "Freon leak, huh?" Caputo asks.
"Most likely. You know those huffers and addicts – they'd do anything to get high." Healy mutters.
"Anyone in here huff that much Freon, we'd have a body to show for it. Even you gotta know when you're gettin' played Healy." Caputo replies.
"What?" Healy asks.
"You let that Russian bitch walk over you again…if I were you I wouldn't make it so obvious…" Caputo says and walks away.
Later that afternoon, the inmates return to their rooms, as it is count time. "Count time starts now. Count time! Line it up. Stop the chatter. Count time!" Officer Sam O'Neil shouts as Piper's dorm, A Dorm, stand by their beds and wait for count to begin. O'Neil comes in and clicks to count them. "All good, thank you, ladies." He says and walks out.
Seconds later, Officer Bennett walks in to do the double check. He counts and nervously looks at Dayanara. "All good." He mutters and walks out.
Once he is gone Daya rolls her eyes cause she feels stupid for flirting with him but as she makes her bed she finds a piece of gum. She blushes and she smiles knowing it's from him.
After count, Piper makes her way to Red's cube where she is going over some paperwork with Gina. "Red?" Piper mutters.
"She's busy." Gina says.
"This'll only take a second." Piper insists.
Red looks at Gina and nods before looking at Piper.
"I brought something…for your back." Piper reveals and places down a little bottle of cream. "It's jalapeno rub. I made it myself. The capsaicin in the peppers creates heat, which is good for sore muscles, and the cocoa butter is gentle on the skin. We have a similar product in our line and my dad swears by it. He's got sciatica." Piper explains.
Red looks away and goes back to reading the paperwork. "These are wrong. They should say "March." Gina." Red mutters.
Piper looks down and rolls her eyes. "And, I am really sorry about earlier, I was freaking out and went the wrong way about making things right. I'm really hoping you can give me a second chance. Anyway, I hope the cream helps." Piper sighs.
"You can go now." Gina says. Piper walks off.
"Gina, take these forms to the kitchen." Red says.
Gina leaves the cube and Red gets up and grabs the lotion. She smiles. She is impressed by Piper's efforts and she heads to the bathroom to try the cream.
~Flashback~
~Consequences~
Later that night, Red was working late in the market and she heard the back door open. "Hello?" she calls.
Suddenly Dmitri and the group of Russian men enter and approach the walk in freezer.
"Put that in." Ganya, the boss Russian man demands as his friends bring in secret packages and hide them in the freezer.
Dmitri approaches Red and hugs her. "What's in those?" Red asks with worry.
"You don't want to know." Dmitri sighs with worry. Red glares over at the men and some of packages are odd shaped – almost like body parts – she cringes and tries not to cry. "It's fine. We had to make things right and pay them pack. This will make things right for us." Dmitri explains.
"This doesn't feel right. This is all my fault." Red cries.
"We're fine. We'll work it out. I promise." He assures her and hugs her as Ganya glares at Red with an intimidating look.
~End of flashback~
At dinner, Piper sits alone and stares into her lap. Morello walks over. "Chapman." She smiles.
"What?" Piper asks.
Morello gives Piper a tray of food, appearing that all is forgiven. "They said to give you this." Morello says and places down the tray.
Piper smiles and gasps with excitement. "Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it worked? It must've worked." Piper says excitedly.
"Your back cream? Yeah. She said it burned, it made her smell like a Puerto Rican, but you're good now. Everyone saw how hard you worked. "A" for Effort." Morello explains.
Piper smiles and stuffs her face with food. "Mmhm." Piper says enjoying it way too much.
"It's not that good." Morello laughs.
"Mmm-hmm." Piper nods, continuing to stuff her face.
In the cafeteria line, Alex is waiting to be served. But Gina just stares at her. "Next!" Gina says.
"What?" Alex asks with confusion.
"Next." Gina says.
Alex then rolls her eyes irritably and when she reaches the end of the line she sees Red staring at her, she is now starving Alex out for trying to feed Piper previously. Alex sighs and walks up to Red. "What did I do?" she asks.
"Your not that dumb…if you stick your nose in where it doesn't belong and try to interfere with my business, you will be punished." Red mutters.
Alex scoffs. "Shit." She sighs and walks off.
That night, the inmates are in the recreation room, which is set up for them to watch a movie projected onto the wall. Piper walks in awkwardly, she doesn't have any earphones, but she decides to sit and watch the movie anyway even though she can't hear any audio. The inmates around her laugh at the movie, but Piper is the only one that is silent. Suzanne comes and sits beside Piper and offers to share her earphones. Piper smiles and puts one of the earphones in her ear. Seconds later, to Piper's surprise, Suzanne caresses Piper's thigh and holds her hand. Piper fills with shock and discomfort, she is frozen with shock. What is she going to do?
Episode Three:
Crazy Decisions
The next morning, at breakfast, Piper sits with Yoga Jones, DeMarco, Miss Rosa and Morello. "Hey, where's Nicky? I wanted to thank her for her help." Piper says.
"Oh, she made a new friend." Morello replies.
"Oh?" Piper asks with confusion.
"Yeah, she's got a very active social life." Morello winks.
"Right…" Piper laughs.
"How does it feel Chapman?" Yoga Jones asks.
"It feels great. To be eating again…it is one of the things that make me feel normal again…it makes my experience in here feel less like an animal." Piper explains.
"Yeah, well don't get too comfortable…from what I've noticed…you've got more trouble coming your way." DeMarco adds.
"What trouble?" Morello asks.
"Crazy Eyes and Piper were all cosy at the movie last night…" DeMarco reveals.
"What? Chapman I told you not to go there with Crazy Eyes…" Morello says.
"No…but…see, I never wanted to get cosy with her at all. She just played a small part in helping me and she was nice enough to let me use one of her earphones. That's all." Piper explains.
"Yeah, well you better be careful because she is going to cling to you…and you can't just shake her off." DeMarco says.
"That's true…you can't get rid of the crazy…" Morello replies.
"Shit." Piper sighs.
"Anyway Chapman, what's on your agenda today? Have you been assigned work duty?" DeMarco asks.
"Not yet, but my best friend is coming to visit me this morning." Piper explains.
"Oh, how nice." DeMarco says. Piper smiles and then looks over at another table where Suzanne is sitting and she is blowing Piper kisses. Piper politely smiles and looks away.
~Flashback~
~Suzanne's last thanksgiving~
Before she was incarcerated, Suzanne was at her parent's house helping her mother in the kitchen set up for thanksgiving dinner that night. "Mommy, can I mash the potato's?" Suzanne asks.
"Not yet Suzanne." Her mother replies.
"But mama, I can do it. Please. Please. Please…let me do it!" Suzanne begs.
"All right Suzanne…just be careful and make sure you mash it real fine because you know how your sister doesn't like lumpy chunky mash…" her mother explains.
Suzanne pauses. "Grace is gonna be here?" Suzanne asks.
"Of course, she always comes home for the holidays." Her mother says.
"But what if she misses something important at college?" Suzanne worries. "Honey, she will be fine. Now come on, mash those potato's." her mother says.
Suzanne then begins to mash the potatoes. "Splat! Squish! Splat! Squish!" she giggles.
~End of flashback~
Piper makes her way to the visitation room where she is surprised to see not only Polly but also her mother. Piper walks over and hugs them before sitting.
"What did you do to your hair?" Carol asks noticing the small chunk missing that Piper had previously bargained with.
"I had to give it to a transsexual, for a weave." Piper reveals. Carol chuckles.
"Oh…Interesting." Carol laughs.
"So, I didn't know you were coming, mom…Polly said it was just going to be the two of us." Piper says.
"Oh don't be silly darling, I knew if I didn't come today you would soon resent me or have one of your tantrums… Your dad sends his love. He wanted to come, but…" Carol begins but Piper stops her.
"No, I get it. He doesn't wanna see me like this. Here." Piper sighs.
Its silent for a moment – awkward – until Polly breaks the silence. "They didn't frisk me at the door. I mean, this could totally be a fake belly full of drugs. How would they ever know?" Polly jokes.
"I get strip searched on the way out. Squat and cough." Piper laughs.
"Oh, Piper, please." Carol says –wanting the details spared. Piper puts her head down. "Polly, you didn't touch anything in that bathroom, did you?" Carol asks. Polly shakes her head. "Everything around here is so sticky. But the people are much cleaner than I thought they'd be." Carol adds.
Piper rolls her eyes and looks to Polly. "How are you feeling, Pol?" she asks.
"Large. Hostile. Nothing new." Polly sighs.
"I am so excited for you. For all of us. It is so smart to do this now. I told Piper, it's much harder to conceive when you're in your late 30s." Carol mutters.
"Thanks, Mom." Piper replies irritably.
"Oh, but it's true. You just don't have a lot of time to waste." Carol adds.
"That's exactly what I need right now. A reminder of my ebbing fertility." Piper mutters.
Carol looks over at the vending machines. "Oh lovely, I'll go get some snacks." She says and leaves Polly and Piper.
"What is she doing here?" Piper asks.
"She wanted to come and she was right, you would have had a tantrum." Polly laughs.
"No…I wouldn't." Piper mutters.
"The whole way up she hummed Edith Piaf songs and ate pistachios. You owe me." Polly says.
"I wanted alone time with you. I have something I have to tell you…I think I have a stalker or admirer or…in the books they call it a wife…I have a wife!" Piper whispers.
"What?" Polly asks with confusion.
"A prison wife. Her name is Crazy Eyes and she follows me everywhere." Piper explains.
"That really happens? Jeez. Are her eyes, like, bulgy or crossed, or is one lid kind of droopy? What kind of crazy?" Polly replies.
"I don't know. They're just crazy. They're just full of crazy. It's terrifying. I'm afraid to tell Larry because I don't want him to worry. But she's extremely persistent. She follows me everywhere." Piper sighs with worry.
"Did she rape you?" Polly gasps.
"No, she didn't rape me." Piper assures her.
"Oh." Polly sighs.
"But she held my hand." Piper replies.
"Aw! That's kind of sweet. I wish Pete would hold my hand. But he says it makes his palms sweat. And he won't stop laughing in birthing class. He's like a seventh grader." Polly says.
"I just told you that I have a wife." Piper mutters.
"I heard you. That really sucks. But you were supposed to be my wife, Piper, remember? I'm kind of freaking out that you're not gonna be there when the baby is born." Polly explains.
"I know. I'm sorry." Piper sighs.
"We just got this crib pad that sets off an alarm if the baby stops breathing. Which could totally happen. I mean, that's a thing. And there's a skinny bitch in my pre-natal yoga, she's a stick who swallowed a grapefruit. The other day she asked me if I was having twins." Polly explains as Carol walks over and sits back down with some snacks. "Ugh, thank God. I'm starving. Skittles." Polly says thankfully.
"Did you know that inmates are not allowed to touch money in this place? The guard just told me. Fascinating." Carol smiles.
Piper rolls her eyes and looks back to Polly. "So what about the Barney's order? Did you find a warehouse?" Piper asks, hoping that her business isn't going to suffer just because she is in prison.
"Oh, I got a couple of sketchy bids. I haven't had time to go look." Polly replies.
"Well, that's why we hired Mariana." Piper says confusedly.
"Are you kidding me? I fired her. She doesn't know how to make a Word document. And she doesn't shave her pits." Polly scoffs.
Piper is shocked. "Wait, but why didn't you ask me first? That's not fair." Piper gasps.
"Well maybe, you should focus on your wife…and then getting out of here to be there for me and my baby and your family and Larry. Okay, I'll handle the business from here on…" Polly says.
"But…Polly…it's OUR business…it's PoPi…me and you…we need to make important decisions together." Piper sighs with disappointment.
"Oh, honey, it's not as if we can pick up a phone and call you. I know it's hard, but the rest of us have to keep living our lives." Carol sighs. Piper remains silent for the rest of the visit because she is hurt and feels shitty.
Meanwhile, Janae Watson, is sitting in the recreation room reading a sports magazine. She is approached by a fellow 'ghetto' inmate, Cindy 'Black Cindy' Hayes. "Hey Yo, you been assigned a dorm yet?" Cindy asks.
"Yeah, I'm in the ghetto…" Janae replies.
"Man, I ain't blind…I can see you are in the ghetto…I mean like did they tell you who your gonna be bunked with?" Cindy replies.
"Not yet. I got my work order though…I'm in fucking electrical…man all these white people jobs…it's fucking high class shit…" Janae scoffs.
"Electrical? Damn, that shit's rigged…they must think you real smart…I applied for electrical and they told me I couldn't handle it…I was like what the fuck man, this shit's racist but I see now…that they just choose people who look smart…do I look smart?" Cindy asks.
"You kinda already answered your own question." Janae replies.
"Bitch, I know my shit." Cindy replies. They both laugh and continue to chat.
After her visit, Piper makes her way back to her room where she and the others wait for count to start.
Nicky looks over and sees Miss Rosa plucking her nipple hairs. "You sick fuck, do that in the bathroom." Nicky scoffs.
"I got cancer." Rosa replies and rolls her eyes.
Piper then starts to get changed and Mendez is walking by and he stops and smiles and watches her. Piper stops changing and looks away. Mendez rolls his eyes and keeps walking.
"Is he allowed to watch us like that?" Piper asks.
"Pornstache? Ugh, he does whatever he wants." Nicky replies. Piper then stands by her bunk and waits for count. "You know, one of these days, you're gonna have to change your panties, Chapman. That shit's gotta be getting ripe." Nicky says. Piper laughs and rolls her eyes.
The PA then announces, "Count time is cancelled ladies. Watson, Bresnahan and Diaz, report to your counsellor for your bunk assignments. Watson, Bresnahan and Diaz."
"Finally." Daya says and gets her stuff ready.
"Wait, you got assigned? What dorm are you in?" Piper asks – wondering why she didn't get assigned yet.
"What! This is bullshit." Nicky shouts, she is furious that she hasn't been assigned back to her cube yet. "You know, I did my time in SHU. How much longer are they gonna keep me in here with Darth Vader and Mr Clean?" She adds referring to Rosa and DeMarco.
"Fuck you." DeMarco says and flips her off.
"Why didn't I get assigned?" Piper sighs.
"They're probably sending her to Spanish Harlem." Nicky replies referring to Daya. Daya gives her an offensive look. "They're gonna put you in The Suburbs with the other white people. They all get moved at once." Nicky adds.
"So how do they choose your roommate?" Piper asks.
"Why? You afraid you're gonna end up with your rocka-lezzie girlfriend, Alex?" Nicky giggles and winks. Piper is silent. DeMarco and Daya laugh. Piper turns around and ignores them and gets onto her bed where she finds a note under pillow from Suzanne. Piper reads it is weirded out and has no idea what to do.
"Piper, there is no fruit that is riper that your smile. Meeting you was the best thing I've seen in this prison in a long time, pretty girls like you don't talk to me often but you were so kind to me and I've been thinking, you should work in the custodial maintenance crew with me and maybe we can get bunked together too. I'll come find you later, baby. – Suzanne xo."
~Flashback~
~Thanksgiving Dinner~
That night, once dinner is prepared Suzanne's sister, Grace, has arrived and it's a beautiful family dinner.
"Mom, can you pass the cranberry sauce." Grace asks.
"Sure sweetie." Their mother smiles.
"Grace honey, how's college been lately? Anything exciting?" their father asks.
"Tell us everything." Their mother adds.
"Mommy, can you pass the salad?" Suzanne asks but her parents are too engrossed into Grace.
"I am top of my class. I really think getting my PHD was a good idea daddy…" Grace begins.
"Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you. You have so many talents sweetheart don't limit yourself. You can be anything you wanna be." Their mother says.
"Mommy, can you pass the salad?!" Suzanne asks again – still being ignored.
"So, what about boys? Any boys chasing my girl?" her father asks.
"No daddy, I'm focusing on school only…besides I don't pay attention to those chasing me because I'm already seeing someone." Grace reveals.
"What?" he father grunts.
"Oh, honey that's wonderful. Everything is working out. Why didn't you tell us? We are both so happy for you." He mother smiles.
Suzanne becomes jealous and angry and she slams the table. "Mommy!" she shouts –startling the others.
"What's wrong honey?" her mother asks.
"I asked you…several times…to pass the salad! But no…your attention is on Grace! Grace! Grace! Grace! It's always about Grace!" Suzanne shouts.
"Suzie, we don't see Grace very often and we see you everyday, we didn't force you to live alone cause we love you which is why you're staying in our guest house out back…" her father says.
"Sweetie, there's no need to be jealous of your sister…we love you both equally." Her mother replies.
"Equally? No! No! Don't lie to me! You don't love me the same as Grace! I'm the black sheep of the family! The "oddball"! It's not fair! It's always Grace this, and Grace that! Always bragging about Grace and never ever EVER have you been proud of me, the way you are of Grace...why? Because Grace is so pretty, Grace is so smart, Grace is so perfect…Grace! Grace! GRACE!" Suzanne shouts and lashes out and throws a handful of the mashed potato at Grace and she storms out.
"Suzanne! Honey, come back! Where are you going?" Her mother cries with worry.
~End of flashback~
Piper then makes her way down to the uniform shop. Nicky and Morello go with Piper and make fun of her along the way. "Time to peel that orange, Chapman. You're one of us now." Nicky winks.
"One of us. One of us. Gooble gobble. Gooble gobble." Morello giggles.
Piper rolls her eyes and is shocked to see Alex is working at the uniform counter.
"Nine and a half, right?" Alex smiles referring to Piper's sock size.
Piper rolls her eyes. "Ten." Piper mutters.
"Did your feet swell when you went back to boys?" Alex asks.
"Fuck you." Piper says and storms off.
"Hey, Chapman, where are you off to in such a hurry?" Nicky chuckles.
"I'm getting changed then going for a run on the track, it helps when I'm stressed." Piper says.
Nicky laughs then looks over at Alex and winks.
"What?" Alex asks.
"Nothin'… I just was wondering, if you wanted to hang out again later? I had a lot of fun chilling this morning…" Nicky smiles, revealing Alex is her new friend that Morello was referring to earlier.
"Why do you say it so flirtatiously? We sat in the old chapel and we drank some old hooch you found." Alex laughs.
"So? We had a good time right?" Nicky asks. Alex smiles.
"Nichols, are you trying to make me jealous?" Morello asks.
"What? No. That's ridiculous." Nicky replies.
"Because it's totally not working!" Morello assures her and walks off – in denial.
Meanwhile, Janae heads to her cube where learns she is bunked with Miss Claudette.
"You got a name, girl?" Claudette asks. Janae remains silent. "That's your bed, those two are your hooks. This ain't like the projects in here, I got rules. No sleeping all day 'cause it's depressing. And clean up after yourself. If I find a mess on this floor, my floor, you're gonna hear about it. And keep your food sealed, because I don't need chipmunks or roaches in here trying to get their Cup O' Noodles on, plus that poor excuse for food stinks to high heaven…" Claudette begins, coming across very intimidating, warning Janae of her rules.
Janae rolls her eyes and snaps. "I sleep whenever I want, old lady. And I don't know what busted-ass country you come from, but this is America, and if I want noodles, I'll eat noodles. Now, back off across your floor before I make you that mess you hate so much!" Janae shouts.
Claudette is shocked by Janae's attitude. Claudette pushes past Janae and storms out.
Piper makes her way out to the track and is running and doing some laps to help take her mind off Alex. She pauses to take a breather and Suzanne runs up behind her. "Hello, baby. Look at you getting your sweat on. You look all shiny. I bet you don't even smell funky." Suzanne says and then sniffs Piper. "I knew you wouldn't. You a real woman, Chapman. A real grown woman. And not like all these other girls around here. I can't waste my time with these silly bitches. I need a real woman." Suzanne smiles.
"I'm sure that you'll find one." Piper says, trying to politely reject Suzanne's advances.
"I wrote a poem, you wanna hear?" Suzanne asks.
"No, you know, that's fine…" Piper sighs.
"Before I met you the sun was like a yellow grape. But now, it look like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me." Suzanne sings and waits for a reaction.
Piper is weirded out. "Wow." Piper sighs.
"I wrote it for you." Suzanne blushes.
"You know, my fiancé is a writer." Piper says, hoping Suzanne will take a hint.
Suzanne looks sad for a moment but then picks up a dandelion. "I'm gonna call you Dandelion. 'Cause they're pretty, and yellow, just like you." Suzanne blushes and tries to hold Piper.
Officer Thompson then walks over and shouts, "Everybody out! Let's go!" he shouts.
"Oh! Thank you." Piper says and pulls away from Suzanne and rushes over to Officer Thompson. "What's going on?" she asks.
"Locking up the track." Officer Thompson replies.
"Why?" Piper asks.
"Budget cuts. No staff to cover it." He explains.
Piper feels devastated for a moment. "But I have to run. This is the only thing that makes me feel normal." She sighs stressfully.
"Yeah well, ya'll gonna have to do your swirl someplace else." Thompson replies.
"Swirl?" Piper asks confusedly.
Suzanne then begins to sing and holds Piper's hand. "Chocolate and vanilla. Swir-irl. Swir-irl." She sings.
Piper rolls her eyes. "I can't do this…I gotta go." Piper says and rushes off.
"I won't give up baby!" Suzanne shouts and then giggles to herself and smells the dandelion she picked.
~Flashback~
~Suzanne tries alcohol~
After Suzanne flips out she leaves the house and she walks down the street, crying and hitting herself. She walks for a while before seeing a liquor store. She walks in and looks around. She has never had alcohol before, besides a sip of Chardonnay. Suzanne wonders what the big fuss is about and wants to rebel against her parents since they made her mad and she grabs a bottle of rum and walks up to the counter.
"May I see your I.D.?" the clerk asks.
Suzanne tilts her head and stares at the clerk. "Excuse me?!" she grunts. Suzanne flips out. "I am old enough to buy alcohol! Do I look underage to you?" She grunts.
The clerk is kinda terrified of Suzanne – she's crazy. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry…" he mutters and she is eventually sold the bottle.
Suzanne then leaves the store and opens the bottle and begins to drink it as she walks down the street.
~End of flashback~
Alex and Nicky then go sit on the staircase and hang out. "So, that was heated before…" Nicky laughs.
"What?" Alex asks.
"With you and Chapman…you guys obviously have history and we're like friends now right? So I'm gonna put my nose in and ask what I'm missing out on" Nicky replies.
"Yeah we have history… but I guess some people aren't history fans…" Alex says.
"Why? Because she's not all peachy with you?" Nicky replies.
"Look, a lot of shit happened between me and Piper and I really want to reach out to her and make things right, believe me I do and I have tried…but she shuts me off…" Alex says.
"Eh, she's still adjusting… this whole situation is new and scary and overwhelming for her…for everyone when they're new here…but you just gotta wait for the cooling down period…then she'll come running to you." Nicky says.
"Maybe." Alex sighs. She and Nicky then look into each other's eyes. There is a connection between them. Alex clears her throat. "So, why are you in here anyway?" she asks.
Nicky laughs. "Take a guess." Nicky laughs.
Piper is called to Mr Healy's office. "You wanted to see me?" she says as she enters.
"Chapman, take a seat." He says. Piper sits.
"Warren just stopped by and informed me of your relationship and requested that you two be roommates." Healy begins.
"Warren? Crazy Eyes?!" Piper gasps.
"Chapman, I told you when you first got here that this type of inappropriate relations won't fly with me! Lesbian request denied!" he says. Piper doesn't know how to react. "We do not choose roommates around here. This type of hanky-panky is against prison regulations. I warned you about this when you first came in." he continues.
"I… I don't know what you're talking about! I had nothing to do with that! Believe me, the last thing I want is to be anywhere near her. I've been trying to shake her for days!" Piper assures him.
"You aren't involved in relations with another inmate? You don't want to be bunked together?" Healy asks.
"No! Absolutely not. Please don't put me with her. Please. I would like to stay as far away from that as possible." Piper begs.
"I was hoping that that was the case." Healy sighs with relief.
"She is completely nuts." Piper sighs.
"No, I know. I've had trouble with her before. She's what we call a "stud," which is very confusing for a nice girl like you, because, let's be honest, she looks like a man. If it were up to me, I'd take all the butch ones and I'd put them in a "little boy's wing," and I'd separate them from the general community. Ran that idea up the ladder a couple of times, got no traction at all. My advice? Let her down easy. She's volatile, that one. She was removed from the puppy program. Lesbians can be very dangerous. It's the testosterone." Healy explains as Piper worries and starts to become scared of Suzanne. "Just relax. I'm sorry I snapped, I've just had a lot to deal with this morning. I had to bunk Diaz with Ruiz, Pelage is requesting her roommate Watson to be moved…I got some of the Christian girls begging me to open up the chapel program again because no renovations have been done to it for over two months now. Working here…really gets to me…it's hard. It frustrates me…I'm sorry…anyway Chapman, go have some lunch." Healy sighs with frustration and dismisses her.
At lunch, in the cafeteria line, Piper overhears Watson, Taystee and Poussey talking about Claudette. "Man, new bunkie's trying to lay down all these rules and shit. "Dis go here. Dat go there. Dis how you be wipin' your bunghole." Man I told her off." Janae says.
"Yo, girl, be careful messing with Miss Claudette. That woman is no joke." Poussey warns her.
"What, is she gonna put a voodoo curse on me? That island bitch got control issues." Janae replies. Poussey scoffs.
"Word is she killed someone. That's why she doin' so much time." Taystee adds.
"Yeah, I believe it, too. You look in her eyes and know she seen some shit." Poussey adds.
"I'm not scared of her." Janae replies.
"You should be." Poussey assures her.
"I hear when she was down the hill she threw a pot of boiling water in her bunkie's face. Burned her eyelids off. She be looking like Beetlejuice and shit." Taystee reveals.
"So? Let her come at me!" Janae says and looks at Claudette and gives her an intimidating look.
"Yo, come on, now, chill." Poussey says.
"She'll see what she be messing with." Janae continues.
"Yo, the lady ain't taken a visitor in 10 years 'cause she won't do strip search. And she ain't dookied - the whole time she been locked up." Poussey reveals.
Janae laughs. "Oh, come on."
"No, I'm serious." Poussey swears.
"That's crazy." Janae replies.
"Nah, for reals. No one's ever seen her use the stalls! That's the truth. She don't poop. She probably got a voodoo spell stopping up her butt." Taystee adds.
"That's some steel right there." Poussey says and they laugh. Piper joins in on the laughter but they give her a look that says 'butt out white girl!' Piper is silent and keeps her head down.
Piper takes her tray and sits down and begins to eat her food in peace. Alex joins her. "I had to rub Red's feet for this. Three whole minutes. She was starving me out for trying to help you. Can you believe that?" Alex laughs.
"You can't sit there." Piper mutters.
"How long are you gonna do this? We both live here. We have to deal with each other." Alex says.
"No, we don't. I plan on spending my entire sentence avoiding you." Piper assures her.
"Get over it. We did some illegal shit and we both got caught." Alex mutters.
"You stole my life, Alex. You stole my good life that I made after you. Stay the fuck away from me." Piper says.
Suzanne then joins them and sits beside Piper and notices the tension. "Is there a problem here?" Suzanne asks.
"No." Alex replies with confusion.
"You bothering my friend here? Dandelion, she bothering you?" Suzanne continues.
"No, we were just talking." Alex assures her.
"Yeah…yeah…she is bothering me." Piper smiles, realising that she could use Suzanne to her advantage.
"Then you need to be on your way. 'Cause she don't like talking to you. Not one bit." Suzanne warns Alex.
Alex scoffs. "Are you kidding me?" Alex says to Piper with confusion.
"Move, BITCH! This is my wife here, so you need to step off!" Suzanne grunts."
"Well, no, I'm not actually your…" Piper begins but Suzanne begins to yell.
"I WILL CUT YOU! I WILL CUT YOU BITCH! DON'T MAKE ME CUT YOU! YOU KNOW WHERE THE FUCK YOU AT, BITCH? YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" she yells and throws her pie at Alex.
Alex gasps and walks off. Officer Thompson rushes over. "Easy, easy. Take it easy, take it easy." He says.
Suzanne laughs. Her eyes are filled with crazy. "It's all right. We all good." She laughs, giving them a signal.
"Mmm-hmm." He says and walks off as all the inmates stare over at Piper and Suzanne.
Suzanne continues to chuckle and lick the pie off her fingers. "I'm not your wife." Piper whispers politely.
"I threw my pie for you." Suzanne says.
"Sorry, it's just…I can't do this…" Piper sighs. Suzanne slams her tray.
"Okay Dandelion, that's fine…I'll see you around." She says and she walks away.
~Flashback~
~Drunk Suzanne~
Suzanne later returned to her parent's home and knocks on the front door. Her mother rushes over and opens the door. "Suzie! Oh my, we were so worried! You were gone for hours." her mother cries and hugs her.
Grace is the first to notice the alcohol on Suzanne's breath. "Is there alcohol on her breath mom? Because it smells like it." Grace says.
Her parents are concerned and shocked to learn that Suzanne is drunk. "Suzie, have you been drinking?" her mother gasps.
"Are you drunk?" her father adds.
Suzanne laughs. "No! I'm fine…I'm fine!" Suzanne shouts.
"Honey, we raised you better than this…" her father sighs.
"No, you raised Grace better than this…" Suzanne mutters.
"Honey…stop it! I am so disappointed in you…" her mother cries. Suzanne scoffs.
"Like that's a first…" Suzanne mutters.
"Suzie I am so sorry…" Grace sighs.
Suzanne then stares at Grace marches over to her and her eyes are filled with dark craziness. "You are so lucky!" Suzanne mutters and begins to hit herself repeatedly. "Why can't I be like you? Why? Why? Why? Why?" she cries continuing to hit herself and her parents try to stop her. Suzanne falls to her knees and cries. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Episode Four:
Love is WAC!
The next morning, Piper makes her way pass the huge line into the bathroom where Leanne Taylor stops her. "Bitch, don't be cutting! There's a line here." Leanne snaps at her as she waits patiently in line.
"Um, for the toilet? I just need to pee. Can I pee?" Piper asks.
Red then walks in and nudges Leanne and gives her an intimidating look. "Go pee, kid." Red says to Piper. Piper smiles and walks over to the stall, she is happy knowing she and Red are at peace. Red then walks over to one of the showers and pulls one of the girls out. "Move it! This better be hot. If I find another clump of hair in the drain, there's gonna be trouble." Red says before getting into the shower.
Janae is in her cube with Miss Claudette when officer O'Neil comes in. "Watson, your being moved." He says.
"What?" she mutters. She quickly realises what is happening and she turns to miss Claudette. "You had me moved? Who's running this place? Not you." she grunts.
"You shut your mouth and get your things." O'Neil says.
"Watch yourself, little girl. You got a bad attitude. This isn't America…this is the Litch and I've been here a long while. Now go learn some manners." Claudette mutters and returns to reading her book as Janae is moved into a new cube with Poussey.
At breakfast, Piper sits with Morello, DeMarco and Yoga Jones before Nicky and Alex join them. Piper at first is shocked and doesn't say anything but ignores Alex.
"So Chapman, where's that crazy stalker of yours?" Nicky asks.
"You know, I actually have no idea. I mean I think I made it clear to her yesterday and she was a bit upset but I think we're fine…" Piper explains.
"Oh yeah, she's upset alright…whenever she throws pie – she's upset!" Morello replies.
They laugh. "Which base did you let her go to?" Nicky asks.
"What? None." Piper replies.
"Oh, was just curious cause Vause informed me that you have no limits when it comes to bases." Nicky winks. Alex laughs.
Piper is offended and stares at the both of them. She rolls her eyes and looks back at Morello. "So, I get assigned to my room today after breakfast." Piper smiles excitedly.
"Oh yeah, that's great Hun…" Morello smiles.
"It really is…it's finally like I'll be like everyone else in here…" Piper says.
"You never liked to be like anyone else…you like to be different…technical…original…you're not like everybody else." Alex says.
Piper remains silent. She doesn't know whether or not to take it as a compliment or not. She remains silent. Alex sighs – she is getting sick of trying to make an effort.
Meanwhile Daya is walking down the hall heading to the cafeteria where she finds Officer Bennett. "Hey." She smiles.
He looks around nervously to make sure no one else is around. "Hey." He blushes.
"I just wanted to say thanks for the gum." She smiles.
"Yeah, well…it's no problem…just keep it on the down low…" he laughs.
"Of course. So does you giving me a piece of gum answer my question I asked you that day?" she giggles.
"What question?" he asks. She blushes and gives him an obvious look. "Oh…you mean if I liked you…" he replies.
Daya giggles. "Yeah." She smiles.
"Yeah, well…I do…like you…" he whispers nervously and blushes.
Daya smiles and blushes too unaware that Aleida can see them talking from the cafeteria. She knows her daughter is crushing on him.
~Flashback~
~Daya's life before prison~
Daya was living with her mother and four younger siblings Christina, Emiliano, Lucy and Eva. Daya was the main caregiver for her siblings because her mother was treated to fancy dinners and outings with her boyfriend, Cesar – creating resentment from Daya towards her mother.
One day Daya returned home from hanging out with her friends and Aleida and Cesar were making out on the couch – full frontal almost. Daya rolls her eyes and heads to the kids room.
"Daya!" her youngest sister Eva smiles and hugs her.
"Hey my angel, how are you?" Daya smiles.
"We're bored…we can't watch TV because Cesar said he and mommy are getting ready to wrestle…" Eva sighs.
Daya rolls her eyes. "Get your coat…guys get your coats." Daya says to her siblings.
She then walks into the lounge room and stands in the hall.
"Ay, Dayanara get those kids outta here would you!" Aleida demands.
"Whatever, we're going to the park." Daya replies and leaves with her siblings.
"Good! And feed them! All they do is cry for food and shit!" Aleida shouts.
~End of flashback~
Piper is called in to Mr Healy's office. "Chapman. Take a seat." He says. Piper smiles and sits down. "So I have your work duty assignment and your room assignment. You will be bunking with Pelage." Healy explains.
"Who?" Piper asks.
"Claudette." He replies.
Piper's face ghosts white as a ghost.
"Miss Claudette? Like the one they call the 'voodoo queen'…like really? But that's in the ghetto?" Piper asks with worry.
"Is there a problem?" he asks.
"No…no…it's just…no." she mutters.
"Anyway, you've been assigned to electrical for work duty, head down to the electrical shop later, one of your fellow inmates can you show how to get there." He explains.
"Okay…thank you Mr Healy." Piper says and get up and goes to get her things to be moved.
In the recreation room, a group of Christian's lead by fellow inmate Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett is giving them a lecture. "And the almighty Lord has spoken…he has whispered into my soul…and he has given me a message…the Litchfield Chapel Program will rise again! I know it! As long as we all keep bugging the administration about it and keep praying, the lord will answer our prayers and we can go back to our religious right in the comfort of god's home." Tiffany says. Her followers, Leanne Taylor, Angie Rice and Loretta Fisher all cheer for her.
Sister Jane walks over to them. "You can pray all you want but none of that shit is going to get the church open again, I assure you…just have a little faith." She says.
"What would you know about faith grandma?" Tiffany asks.
"I beg your pardon…I'm a nun…yes I may be in prison but I still have my faith…and who do you think you're calling grandma, bitch?" Sister Jane replies.
"Ooh…you wanna step up? You wanna fight me in front of the lord?" Tiffany replies as her followers egg on the conflict.
Meanwhile, Flaca and Maritza are sitting at a table nearby sharing earphones listening to music to block out the Christian talk.
"Oh, I love this song." Maritza says.
"No but none of these stations play The Smiths." Flaca mutters.
"What's The Smiths?" Maritza asks.
"Um, what? The Smiths are like…Coldplay but like the My Chemical Romance version of Coldplay…but more classic." Flaca explains.
"Oh…groovy." Maritza replies. Flaca then slaps Maritza.
"Ow! What?" Maritza gasps.
"Groovy? Seriously…this ain't the fucking seventies…" Flaca mutters and changes the station.
"Hey! I was listening to that!" Maritza says.
"So what…you don't know good music when you hear it…" Flaca replies and the two get into a heated argument.
At another table Cindy, Poussey and Taystee get into an argument over a game of chess.
"Man! How many times I gotta tell you, the knight can't do that!" Cindy explains.
"Uh, bitch…pause…listen up, the horsey can move three spaces!" Taystee says.
"Yeah but Cindy…it looks like you cheatin'…" Poussey adds.
"What? Man, fuck you! I ain't no damn cheater! Unless there's a way I can cheat my foot up yo ass!" Cindy replies before their argument gets heated too.
The whole of the recreation room are arguing now. Mr Healy rushes in. "Enough! All of you stop it!" he shouts and the girls go quiet. "I'm bringing back the Woman's Advisory Council." He grunts and storms out.
"The what?" Tiffany mutters.
"The W.A.C! Since you young ones have to abbreviate everything." Sister Jane comments.
"Wait, you mean it's like…campaign time?" Cindy mutters.
"Man, what am I still doing here? Bitch move I gotta go make me some posters!" Taystee laughs and rushes out.
"You wanna run?" Flaca asks.
"Hell yeah…" Maritza replies and they high-five and rush out.
Daya is in the bathroom and her mother follows her. "What do you want Aleida?" Daya asks.
"Aleida? When you gonna stop calling me by my name? I'm your mother…" Aleida replies.
"Really? Since when have you ever admitted that?" Daya replies.
"Don't make me hit you again. Knock it off! I wanted to talk to you." Aleida says.
"About what?" Daya asks.
"Who have you got your eye on? Huh?" Aleida asks.
"What?" Daya asks with confusion.
"Don't play dumb with me, your all smiley and shit…don't think I haven't noticed…you ain't never smile unless it's about a boy…and you can't say you can fake a smile cause you're a terrible actress. So who is he?" Aleida asks.
"Nobody…in case you haven't noticed we are in a ladies only prison." Daya replies.
"Don't be stupid Daya, just tell me! I want details! I'm your mother!" Aleida begs.
Daya shakes her head. "Wow Aleida, that's twice in the same conversation where you've admitted to that…bravo…baby steps…maybe this place will do you good. It might do us both good." Daya says and walks off. Aleida remains behind kinda hurt by Daya has said.
~Flashback~
~Daya obtains the full-time mother role to her siblings~
After Aleida was sent to prison, Daya assumed even more responsibility for her siblings and was struggling to do it alone. The first few weeks were hard.
"Daya, when's mommy come back?" her other little sister, Lucy asks.
"I don't know…" Daya replies.
"When can we see her?" Eva adds.
"I don't know." Daya replies having a hard time trying to explain to the kids why Aleida was taken away.
Aleida's boyfriend, Cesar, came over one night shortly after Aleida's arrest.
"What do you want? I told you, you didn't have to come back…I'm fine." Daya says.
Cesar notices Daya is struggling. "Dayanara, I promised your mother I would take care of her kids. Okay, I love your mother. I love you. I will stand by her family. Your too young to do this shit alone." Cesar explains. Daya tears up. "Hey…" Cesar sighs and wipes her tears. "Take this…and if you need anything baby, let me know…I got you…I love you guys okay." Cesar says and hands Daya some cash. Daya doesn't know what to say. "Go get some dinner." He says.
"Thank you." Daya says and she hugs him
~End of flashback~
Piper makes her way to the electrical shop with Nicky, who also is in electrical. "So, who'd you get bunked with?" Nicky asks.
"Miss Claudette." Piper reveals.
"Oh shit, you're in the ghetto? Fuck…that's harsh…and you got Claudette…shit you better be careful…has she said anything to you yet?" Nicky replies.
"Not yet. She wasn't there this morning when I moved in so…I'll meet her later I guess…"Piper sighs.
"All I can say is don't piss her off the way you pissed Red off…cause that shit would be a horror movie or something." Nicky laughs. Piper becomes even more worried and remains quiet. "Hey, come on…I was kidding." Nicky says.
"Can I ask you something?" Piper asks.
"Sure." Nicky says.
"Since when have you and Alex been friends?" Piper asks.
"A couple of days, maybe a week…who knows…it's easy to lose track of time in here. Why? Are you jealous or something?" Nicky asks.
"Are we friends?" Piper asks.
"Yeah. Of course kid." Nicky replies.
"Are you and Alex more than friends?" Piper asks.
"Believe me kid, I would go there if I could but she still has eyes for someone else…" Nicky hints.
"Really? Who?" Piper asks curiously.
"I don't know…probably not you…I mean you've been a complete asshole to her since you've been in here." Nicky replies.
"What? No…I haven't…we just have a long complicated past and there's things I'm not ready to look past…like…she's the reason I'm in here…" Piper sighs.
"Hey, I don't care about the two sides to every story shit…I'm just saying…you can't blame her for that…your both in here…you should make the most of it. Just think about that. Now come on we're gonna be late." Nicky says.
Piper is silent. Wondering if Nicky is right. Has she been unfair toward Alex? She was curious to find out more.
In the yard, Daya sees Officer Bennett outside walking out by the tool shed. She spies on him and sees him putting something in his mouth and then placing something in a post.
Daya laughs curiously and wants to approach him but Blanca stops her. "Hey, coming to play checkers?" she asks.
"Uh, yeah…fine." Daya replies before noticing Bennett then walking away. "Give me a minute. I'll catch up." She says.
Once Blanca is out of site. Daya retrieve a note from her pocket, which she wanted to give to Bennett in person but instead leaves it where he left his tobacco tin on the post.
Suzanne has been keeping her head down, it appears she is still crushing on Piper and she plans on keeping Alex away from her dandelion. She sees Alex in the bathroom and corners her.
"Can I help you?" Alex asks.
"I just came here…to warn you…to stay away from dandelion…" Suzanne begins.
"What?" Alex mutters.
"Piper…is mine! And I'm going to do everything I can to keep you away from her…I'll be watching your every move…" Suzanne says.
"Whatever. Tell Piper to man up and tell me off herself, not have her guard dog do it for her." Alex replies.
"Shhh…don't speak…just stay away from her…or else…you don't wanna make me angry…" Suzanne warns her with her eyes full of crazy.
"Or what? You'll turn green and become the hulk? You'll throw more pie at me? What are you? The fucking pie-hulk?" Alex laughs. Suzanne's eyes fill with darkness. "Come on, hit me." Alex says.
Suzanne cringes. "Argh!" she groans and hits herself and storms off.
Alex scoffs. "Fuck…fucking freak." Alex mutters and goes back to brushing her hair.
The inmates are all planning their campaigns and who runs against who. Morello is called to the kitchen. "You wanted to see me, Red?" she asks.
"There she is! My little starfish." Red smiles.
"Starfish?" Morello asks with confusion.
"It's a compliment." Red assures her.
"Oh, alright." Morello smiles.
"Anyway, my dumb little lovable psycho, I have called you here because I think you should run for W.A.C. and represent the white girls." Red says. Morello smiles.
"Oh my gosh, me? Really? You're choosing me to run? Oh thank you Red. Thank you! I won't let you down." Morello smiles excitedly.
Red laughs. "Oh honey, it's not like you're gonna have much competition." Red laughs.
Outside in the courtyard, Daya is sitting with Maria, Gloria, Aleida and Blanca. She is supposed to be keeping score of the checkers game that Aleida and Gloria are playing but instead is drawing a picture.
Blanca and Maria are talking about the W.A.C. "So, did you hear Maritza and Flaca are running?" Blanca says.
"Yeah…fucking young ones." Maria laughs.
"Why don't you run?" Blanca replies.
"Me?" Maria gasps.
"Yeah…you'd be great." Gloria adds.
Maria smiles. "Really? Cause like I do have a lot of good ideas and shit." Maria smiles confidently.
"Yeah, you should do it." Aleida adds.
"Okay, I'll do it." Maria smiles.
"Great." Gloria replies.
"Hey what's the score?" Aleida asks Daya, who is too busy drawing. "Hey." Aleida says and pokes her.
"What?" Daya asks.
"Are you keeping score or not?" Aleida asks.
"Oh. Hold up, let me add it up." Daya replies.
"Come on, let's go plan your campaign, Gloria your coming?" Blanca says as she and Maria begin to walk away. Gloria rolls her eyes and gets up and begins to follow.
"Are you kidding me? You too? Your in on the stupid?" Aleida mutters.
"I'm not stupid. I'm just going to watch the stupid." Gloria laughs.
It is just Aleida and Daya remaining. "Ain't you going, too?" Aleida asks and clicks her tongue.
"No." Daya replies and continues drawing.
"No, you'd rather sit and scribble love notes." Aleida replies. Daya looks at her with confusion. "Don't play dumb, I know what you're doing. I seen you leave a kite and I know who for." Aleida reveals.
"You followed me?" Daya gasps.
"I'm telling you, you're wasting your time with that one." Aleida says. Daya looks down. "Not that you're not pretty. I don't mean it like that. It's just, you gonna fuck a guard, fuck a fat one. That way they're more appreciative. Let you sneak in cigarettes. Maybe bring you McDonald's." Aleida explains.
"Is that how you really think?" Daya snaps.
"That's how you need to start thinking. I'm trying to look out for you." Aleida replies.
"I don't fuck dudes for Big Macs." Daya snaps and gets up.
"But you fuck 'em. Yeah. So what do you fuck 'em for? Love? Ay." Aleida shouts and rolls her eyes.
"Shut up! You don't know nothing! You ain't my mother! Not in here! Not out there! Or at least you don't act like one! So leave me the fuck alone!" Daya cries and storms of. Aleida is once again hurt by what Daya has said.
~Flashback~
~Daya prepares to see her mother behind bars~
Daya and her siblings were getting ready to go see their mother in prison for the first time. Daya was kinda nervous surprisingly.
"Daya, where are we going?" Eva asks.
"To see mommy." Daya replies.
"Yeah. I bet she's gonna be real happy to see us." Daya's younger brother, Emiliano, mutters sarcastically.
"She will." Christina, the second oldest sibling says.
"Guys come on get ready." Daya says.
Cesar then walks in. "All set?" he asks.
"Yeah, almost. You coming with us?" Daya asks.
"I'm gonna have to sit this one out baby, tell your mom I'm sorry. Give her my love. I just got some shit to do. When I get home we can have a nice dinner. Maybe order a pizza." Cesar says.
"Okay…" Daya smiles and she and her siblings leave to go visit their mother in prison even though deep down, Aleida's three eldest children - Daya, Christina and Emiliano - felt like Aleida hasn't been much of a mother so doesn't deserve it but they do their best to put on their happy faces.
~End of flashback~
In the old Chapel, Nicky is eating Morello's pussy and Morello squeals with pleasure. Nicky and Morello have been having a sexual relationship for a while now but Morello finally decides they need to stop. Morello climax's and she puts her clothes back on. "Oh god…Nichols…I feel like you do it better and better each time…" Morello sighs.
"Yeah, you liked it?" Nicky winks.
"Oh yeah, but we gotta stop." Morello replies.
"You say that every time." Nicky mutters.
"Well this time I am serious. I need to remain faithful to her fiancé, Christopher. And I need to start tightening up down there because you're starting to make me feel like a cave." Morello sighs.
"It's a cunt, it's stretches!" Nicky says. Morello rolls her eyes and says no more. Nicky is mad and disappointed. "It's your loss sweet cheeks. Can you at least get me off first?" Nicky asks and pulls down her pants.
"That's not very classy…" Morello sighs.
"So what? You want me to get blue balls?" Nicky asks.
"No but…I need to start feeling pure again…like a real woman…especially if I'm going to be running for W.A.C." Morello smiles.
"What?" Nicky asks with confusion.
"Oh yeah, I'm running." Morello reveals.
Nicky gasps. "Red picked you?" Nicky says with anger.
"What's wrong?" Morello asks.
Nicky is jealous. "You know what, you are living in a fake fantasy and should be grateful that I have been making you cum. Good luck with the W.A.C. I'm sure you'll do a great fucking job." Nicky mutters as she pulls up her pants and storms out. Morello remains, feeling bad and wondering why Nicky is so jealous.
Piper excitedly walks down the hall to her old room, carrying a box. On her way to her room she bumps into Sophia. "Sophia! I got you a present." Piper smiles and reaches into the box and gives Sophia some makeup. "It's powder foundation in medium dark. I had to guess. I hope it's all right." Piper smiles.
"Honey, it's perfect. That's real sweet of you. Thank you." Sophia replies.
"You're welcome." Piper smiles and continues to her old room. "I got commissary!" She announces excitedly.
"Look whose ship finally came in!" Nicky laughs.
"Here. This is payback for all the stuff you gave me." Piper smiles and hands DeMarco some treats. "And, Nicky, here's your cup." Piper smiles and gives Nicky a cup.
"Hmm." Nicky chuckles.
"And, um, Nivea. That's interest." Piper adds.
"What else you got, kid? I'll take that face wash." DeMarco says.
"Don't be a commissary hoe, DeMarco." Nicky says.
Piper the reveals some real shower flip-flops. "And these It's like Christmas!" she smiles excitedly.
"Yo, P, heads up. You got a visitor." Nicky mutters as Suzanne stands in the doorway smiling holding a bunch of dandelions.
"Hello, baby." Suzanne smiles as Piper turns around.
Piper takes a deep breath. "Can I talk to you?" she asks. Suzanne nods and the two of them step outside. "Listen, Suzanne. I, um I know that you like me…" Piper begins.
"I don't just like you, Piper. I got feelings. Love feelings." Suzanne replies.
"Yeah, I got that. Um you know, maybe I was unclear, and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I cannot be your wife. I've already promised to be someone else's wife. Larry. Whom I love very much. And I'm just not interested in anybody else. This is nothing personal. And I am thankful for you helping me with Alex and everything you have done for me but you and I? Not gonna happen." Piper explains gently.
Suzanne is silent for a moment. Her expression becomes more angry and hurt. She hands Piper the dandelions. "I feel you." Suzanne mutters and storms off.
In the recreation room, Aleida and Gloria put together an awesome campaign for their Spanish girls and while they are hanging posters, they see Daya smiling over at Bennett who is supervising the recreation room. "What's going on there?" Gloria asks.
"Daya has always been a whore. She'll sleep with anyone she can. I don't know why…I thought I raised her right. You know?" Aleida sighs.
"Ay, she's young…" Gloria replies.
"Yeah but she's barking up the wrong tree…I just got that feeling you know…I might not be able to talk her out of it but I'm thinking she may not go there if mommy gets him first." she giggles.
"Ay, you're one hell of a mother." Gloria laughs
~Flashback~
~Aleida's kids visit her in prison~
Daya took her siblings to visit Aleida in prison. Aleida showed no interest in her children.
"Mommy!" Eva cries.
Instead Aleida spent her attention on asking where Cesar was. "Where is Cesar? Is that motherfucker cheating on me?" Aleida grunts.
"No. He had stuff to do." Daya replies.
"Stuff? Ay, what stuff? I take the fall for that motherfucker, the least he could do is make it to come see me!" Aleida replies.
"Mommy!" Eva cries again.
"Would you just shut up and pay attention to us – your kids! We're here! We took a bus, it was three hours to get here." Daya says.
Aleida rolls her eyes. "Are you fucking him?" Aleida asks.
"What? No! You gotta be kidding me…what the fuck is wrong with you?" Daya replies.
"Mommy. Mommy!" Eva continues.
"What?" Aleida snaps irritably.
"I made a paper airplane." Eva reveals.
"Where? Where's your stupid paper airplane?" Aleida mutters.
"At home." Eva says.
"Then why do I care? You wanna show me something, you can't show me something I can't see. Are you stupid or something?" Aleida snaps. Eva ducks her head and hides behind Emiliano. "You tell that motherfucker he better visit me! He owes me!" Aleida grunts. Her kids are silent they stare at her with disappointment and sadness because of her anger. "You better not be fucking him Dayanara! Keep those fucking legs closed!" Aleida shouts as they leave.
However later that night, Daya entered the kitchen where Cesar and his workers were doing their business and measuring drugs etc. Daya seduces him and kisses him.
"What's this?" he says.
"Just go with it." Daya sighs and continues to make out with him and removes his shirt.
"Hey ya'll take off, now!" Cesar says to his workers before he begins fucks Daya on the bench.
Daya forms a sexual relationship with Cesar in retaliation against her mother.
~End of flashback~
At lunch, Nicky walks into the kitchen where Red is hard at work but Nicky just stares – still filled with jealousy.
"Well, don't be an observer. Grab a rag." Red says. But Nicky remains quiet and doesn't move. "What's up, Nicky?" Red asks.
"This rag smells like mildew. It means your counter is gonna smell like mildew. That's gross. You need to wash your rags, Red." Nicky mutters sarcastically.
"Nicky…don't be like this…" Red sighs.
"Why'd you choose Lorna to run for W.A.C. and not me?" Nicky asks.
"You're questioning my decisions?" Red asks.
"Only in the most respectful way you could possibly imagine. I just I thought I was like your Spock." Nicky replies.
"My what?" Red chuckles.
"You know, your right hand. Your girl Friday. Your V.P." Nicky sighs.
"Lorna is pretty and unthreatening. I like her lipstick and she listens. The last thing you need is a public forum. You're already too mouthy for your own good." Red explains.
"Yeah, but…" Nicky begins but Red cuts her off.
"Don't confuse being my daughter with getting a vote. This isn't a democracy, sweetheart. This is prison." Nicky is silent and tears up. "Go eat honey." Red says.
Morello, Piper, Alex, Yoga Jones and DeMarco are sitting at a table when Nicky joins them. "Are you okay, Nicky?" Alex asks.
Nicky looks at Morello. "I still can't believe she picked you." Nicky mutters.
"What? You want me to say no to her? You got a problem with that?" Morello replies.
"Yeah, I just think it would have been smarter for her to pick a dyke. A real dyke." Nicky says.
"Yeah, Nicky. Last time I checked, Lorna was pretty gay. Gay for you, as a matter of fact." Alex chuckles.
"Oh, you didn't hear? We're done." Nicky reveals.
"What happened?" Alex asks.
"Well, she's gotta start working on tightening her pussy muscles, 'cause her fiancé's dick is so small, it's like a hot dog in a hallway…" Nicky says.
"Wow…" Piper sighs.
Morello glares at Nicky with an offended look. "So, I'm thinking campaign buttons instead of posters, 'cause everyone will be doing posters. We can stick 'em on with tape. What do you think about yellow and pink? They're my wedding colours. It's just a real pretty combination. But I don't wanna tell Christopher, 'cause I don't want him to get jealous." Morello explains trying to move on but Nicky joins in again.
"'Course not. You wouldn't want him to think you liked pink in prison, right, Morello?" Nicky laughs and Morello flips her off.
At the black girls table, Taystee stands up on the table and the girls cheer.
"All right, ladies!" O'Neil mutters.
"Taystee! Taystee!" she cheers.
"So, who are you running against besides Taystee?" Piper asks.
"She don't count. Black ladies just run against the other black ladies. My competition is Pennsatucky. But it don't matter, because Red's gonna make all the white girls vote for me." Morello explains.
"So, you only run against white people?" Piper asks.
"Mmhm yep." Morello nods.
"You can only vote within your race or your group." Nicky adds.
"Look, just pretend it's the 1950s. It makes it easier to understand. See, everyone elects a representative from their own tribe. White, black, Hispanic, golden girls and others. And those five gals, they meet with Healy, they tell him what we want, then he speaks to the higher-ups. It's like student council." Morello explains.
"But how is that an effective system? Not every Hispanic person wants the same thing." Piper says.
"Oh, sure they do. They all want to come to America." Morello smiles.
"Jesus, your entire world view is based on West Side Story, isn't it?" Nicky scoffs.
"Can we get back to Lorna being racist? Just more of that, please." Alex laughs.
"No but…okay, fine. See, I know because my neighbourhood is near them. They live, like, 20 people to one apartment. They have more kids than even the Irish. The men like their women with big titties, big asses. They're dirty, they're greasy, their food smells nasty and they're taking all our jobs." Morello reveals.
Alex laughs. Piper smiles but tries to hide it as she has missed seeing Alex's smile but she tries to ignore it as she is still pissed at Alex for getting her in prison in the first place.
At Taystee's table she thinks she is sure to win but Sophia stands up. "Hold up, don't get so cocky Taystee, because I'm running for W.A.C. too…I have several ideas that could make this place better and with time's changing people are more open minded so I think I've got this…" Sophia assures her feeling confident.
"Oohhh…it's on." Poussey laughs.
That night, Piper bumps into Alex in the bathroom. She rolls her eyes.
"I'm in here at 5:00 just about every day. You don't like it, avoid it." Alex mutters as she brushes her teeth.
Piper begins to walk away but stops as she wants to just get it out of the way and confront her. "You named me." Piper says with certainty.
"What?" Alex asks.
"You didn't have to take me down with you." Piper mutters.
"Oh my god…is that what all this is about? You think I turned you in?" Alex asks with offence.
"You haven't seen me in over five years, you had no idea what was going on with me. I am a different person. I was building a life!" Piper says.
"Oh, well, hurray for you. It wasn't me, Piper. Sorry to disappoint." Alex mutters.
"Bullshit! You never ever forgave me for leaving." Piper replies.
"Thirteen people were indicted. You met all of them. We travelled together." Alex says.
"I know it was you." Piper mutters.
"No, it wasn't! And fuck you for thinking it was!" Alex snaps.
"Right, what did they give you? Time off for every innocent person that you threw under the bus?" Piper asks.
"Innocent? That is fucking hilarious! You carried that bag. No one had a gun to your head. Your fiancé might buy this bullshit, but I know you. Okay, I know you. And there were no complaints when I took you all over the world, but the second shit got real…" Alex begins to explain but Piper stops her.
"You put me in danger!" Piper sighs.
"You loved it." Alex chuckles. Piper looks down. "You were just this boring little girl from Connecticut, who wanted to feel special and bad." Alex says.
"Don't turn this around on me." Piper snaps.
"I didn't name you. And, yeah, maybe I never forgave you for leaving, because you broke my fucking heart. And maybe I've done a lot of fucked up things in my life, but I've never lied to you. Ever. So fuck you." Alex says.
Piper walks away, tearing up. She's not so certain anymore.
Daya is alone in her cube and her shirt is caught on her earing. Bennett walks in and approaches her "I'm stuck. I think my necklace is caught on my shirt or in my hair or maybe both." Daya explains.
"So you want me to help?" Bennett asks.
"Yeah." Daya smiles.
"Yeah, okay." He smiles as he begins to unhook her shirt. "Oh, man." He blushes.
"Don't look at my belly." Daya giggles as he unhooks it and she lowers her shirt.
"There. You're free." He smiles.
"Yeah, right." She smiles back.
"How are you?" he asks.
"Fine. Hey, did you get my note? I left it at that post you always go to out by that old shack…" Daya reveals.
"Oh…I'll go check it out." He smiles.
"Okay." She smiles and blushes as he walks away.
~Flashback~
~Daya follows her mother's footsteps~
Daya, Cesar and her siblings were sitting in the kitchen having dinner and are interrupted by a knock on the door.
"I'll get it." Daya sighs and Daya gets it and it's the police. "What's going on?" she asks.
The police enter the apartment and go to arrest Cesar. "Cesar Rodriguez?" they ask preparing to arrest him but Daya stops them.
"Wait! I don't want to see an innocent man go to jail…he's a father…these kids need him. He is a good man. I couldn't live with myself if I let him go down for me." Daya begins.
"What are you saying?" the officer asks.
"I've been running the drug business and using my kitchen as the lab. Cesar has just been covering my ass to look after the kids but he don't need to protect me no more." Daya explains. Daya takes the fall for him and she, like her mother was later sent to prison for drug-related charges.
"What's happening? Where are you going Daya?" Eva asks.
"It'll be okay baby, I'm going to be with mommy." Daya cries.
"I'll take care of them I promise." Cesar promises.
Daya arrives to prison on the same day as Watson and Piper.
~End of flashback~
That night, Piper heads to her cube and she passes Nicky. "Good luck, Chapman. You're gonna need it." Nicky says.
Piper continues to her cube where she meets Miss Claudette. "That's your bed. These are your hooks. I am nobody's cleaning lady and I make honour cube every week, so you do your part and then some. My floor's my pride, so no shoes; leave them off before you step in. And I see that nonsense go down in the cafeteria. I don't care if you're gay or what, but you bring any drama in here and we'll have trouble. I don't tolerate foolishness in my bunk." Claudette explains.
Piper smiles politely and she agrees. She plans on keeping the peace with her new bunkie.
Later that night, Piper later wakes up in the middle of the night and is startled to see Suzanne standing inside her cube. Suzanne squats and pees on the floor. Claudette awakens and is mad. Suzanne smiles and walks away.
"Shit." Piper sighs with fear that Claudette will hit her or something.
Episode Five:
Real Women Talk the Talk and Walk the Walk
Piper freaks out and uses maxi pads to clean the piss off the floor.
Claudette is furious as she watches Piper on her hands and knees trying to absorb the piss. "And now what? You wipe it up, but that does not disinfect. How are you going to disinfect?" Claudette whispers with anger.
"I don't know. I've never cleaned up another person's pee before." Piper whispers back.
"Quite a privileged life you've led!" Claudette mutters.
"Yeah, well, now… now I'm here." Piper sighs.
"Look girl, I have to be up in three hours. I ought to knock you into Tuesday for bringing that baggage to my house!" Claudette grunts quietly.
"Like I asked for this? I don't want this. I don't know what to do." Piper sighs with frustration.
"About what? You clean the piss!" Claudette says.
"The piss, the stalker, your anger, my cluelessness, disinfectant. Everything…" Piper sighs trying not to cry. Claudette gives her the evil eye. "There is another person's pee on me, and I'm not allowed to use the bathroom until the morning. I have to sleep with stranger pee on me." Piper whimpers.
"Oh, Coo-coo. It's hard for you. Little girl lost." Claudette grunts sarcastically.
"Look, I am doing the best I can with what I got for now and it's gonna have to do. We're both tired, so let me handle this in the morning!" Piper mutters.
"I used to clean houses for a living, your gonna have to disinfect." Claudette replies.
"I get that! But right now, there is nothing I can do. So can we please just call it a night and I will fix this first thing in the morning." Piper sighs.
"Damn right you will. First thing!" Claudette says with a stern tone. Piper rolls her eyes with relief and she gets back into her bed – smelling like urine.
The next morning, Red is in the kitchen preparing breakfast with Norma. "The fried tomato's can wait, they still need to be hot for breakfast." Red says. Norma nods and walks over to the freezer and grabs some bags of bacon. "Yes, start slicing the bacon." Red says. Norma takes the bacon over to the bench and begins to cut a few slices. "And Norma, don't let Gina burn them like last time. She can be on egg duty." Red continues. Norma nods. Red chuckles to herself for a moment. "You know Norma, now don't get offended, but I am not a morning person someday's and sometimes I feel lucky to have you – my silent friend – by my side. You are so loyal to me Norma. I feel like we understand each other. You've been my best friend since I got here and I am so grateful to have you, but the peace and quiet is nice...at least you don't talk back like that mouthy Gina and Nicky." Red laughs.
Norma smiles and grabs her notepad and writes "Thank you, best friend." And she shows Red and she smiles.
"Anyway, once you're done there, start slicing the onions." Red says.
Later that morning, Piper heads into the bathroom and she accidently walks in on a naked Sophia sitting on the toilet in one of the stalls that don't have a door. Piper screams. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Piper gasps.
"It's okay honey, you can look. I spent a lot of money on it." Sophia laughs and finishes up. "All yours." She smiles as she walks out, topless.
"Uh, I'll wait for this one, I think…" Piper mutters referring to the only stall with a door - which Blanca is inside shouting in Spanish. Piper nervously looks at the ground trying not to stare at Sophia's boobs. Blanca's shouting gets louder.
"She's talking to the devil." Sophia whispers.
"Yeah I got that part." Piper replies, not making eye contact with Sophia.
"Give it time, you'll be pissing and farting with the rest of us." Sophia assures her. Piper smiles. Sophia begins to do her makeup and Piper can't help but peek over at Sophia. Sophia notices the attention and she laughs. "I put it out there, I know…" she laughs.
Piper looks away and pretends she doesn't know what she's talking about. "Uh, what? Put what where?" Piper asks.
"Baby, it's okay… I'm not afraid to show it all off." Sophia begins.
"Because you spend a lot of money getting there?" Piper asks.
"I'm already being punished for becoming a woman, I don't want to continue to be punished by not being able to show it off." Sophia sighs.
"No, it's fine. It's great. You should show it off. You have a very… you look... beautiful." Piper smiles nervously.
Sophia smiles at Piper. "Thanks baby." Sophia smiles, she is really flattered Piper would say such a nice thing.
"Of course." Piper smiles and continues to wait outside the stall.
"Commissary is good. You just better hope they got what you need. They ain't had powder foundation in dark for three months. I can't be walking around here with white face on." Sophia begins.
"Oh, well so far I'm not complaining." Piper says.
"I see you finally got some real flip-flops." Sophia laughs.
"Yeah finally." Piper smiles.
"It's a shame, those maxi pad shower shoes were pretty creative. I like it. But those sad pair of shower shoes weren't gonna save you. That's why I made my own. Couture" Sophia replies and shows off her crafted shower shoes.
"Is that duct tape?" Piper asks.
"Mmhm, Metallic's are very 'in' this season. Besides they don't sell size 13 in commissary." Sophia explains.
"Oh." Piper replies.
"And you want some advice? You wanna skip that shower line, you come use the 5:00am or the 5:00pm. That's my secret." Sophia explains.
"Thank you. Why are you telling me this?" Piper asks.
"Because I fucked up your hair, and that shit looks broke! Why don't you drop by the salon sometimes and I'll fix it right up for you, since your money is finally coming in." Sophia says.
"I will. Thank you. Thank you so much." Piper smiles and continues to wait for Blanca to finish in the stall.
"And don't hold your big bathroom too long. Prison food stops you right up. You gotta get it out while you can. There's no use playing shy baby, you're home…" Sophia smiles.
~Flashback~
~Sophia's life as Marcus~
Before being incarcerated, Marcus Bursett, who would soon become Sophia Bursett, was a fireman.
One day Marcus is investigating a burnt scene and takes out a camera and searches the burnt residence's possessions. He opens up the resident's file cabinet and searches for credit card details. He finds some details and he photographs them. This isn't the first time either.
He is then near-busted by his fellow worker, Pat, who walks in. "Hey Bursett, what are you doing?" Pat asks.
"Just taking photos of the damage done." Marcus lies.
"Oh…well hurry up, we found a burnt panda teddy upstairs with its eyes like melted off…come check it out." Pat laughs and Marcus quickly returns the file and follows Pat.
Later when they return to the station, the guys are in the locker room and Marcus heads into the bathroom.
"Bursett, where the fuck are you going?" Pat asks.
"Gotta go drain the hose." Marcus sighs and continues to head to the bathroom. When he gets inside the bathroom, he locks the door and he removes his clothes, revealing pink women's panties and bra. He then changes into a sweatshirt and pants and walks over to the sink. He rinses his face and looks at himself in the mirror lifting the temples of his face trying to picture himself as a woman.
~End of flashback~
In A Dorm, Nicky is still being bunked in there and she is becoming restless. She looks at herself in the mirror. "Look at this!" she grunts. DeMarco and looks over as Nicky is showing off her regrowth roots. "I asked Sophia to do my roots, she says there's a two-week waiting list." Nicky mutters with irritation.
"I wouldn't let that he-she touch my hair with a 10-foot pole." DeMarco chuckles.
"Well, hey, maybe you'll get lucky and go bald everywhere but in the tits like Rosa." Nicky replies.
"I got cancer." Rosa replies.
Nicky laughs and rolls her eyes. "Oh, and Sophia's pole is a hole now." She laughs.
At breakfast, Piper sits with DeMarco, Morello and Yoga Jones. "Morning." Piper smiles.
"Good morning." Yoga Jones says.
"Oh Morello, your hair – it looks different." Piper smiles.
"Oh yeah, thanks. It's all part of my campaign strategy. They are announcing the winners tomorrow so it's my last day of big campaigning to earn the votes of the whities." Morello explains.
"I thought Red was already going to make them all vote for you anyway." Piper replies.
"Oh yeah sure, but I like to be a little competitive. It makes me feel like I really earned it." Morello smile.
"I see." Piper replies.
"You know, this whole thing…better make a difference…I mean last time they had a W.A.C. it didn't end so well…" DeMarco says.
"Did anything change?" Piper asks.
"Oh yeah, a lot changed…but it was ineffective." DeMarco replies.
"I don't understand…that…doesn't make sense." Piper says with confusion.
"Not a lot of this stuff does. It's like a spinning wheel…they have all these ideas but we'd be lucky to land on the most important or most popular idea." Yoga Jones says.
"Yeah, it's like they make it land on the most cheapest, ineffective one regardless of the consequences." DeMarco adds.
"Well, I have plans. Big plans to make changes here and there." Morello says confidently.
"Honey, once you're in – you won't have a say because Red will be telling you what to do and what to say." DeMarco replies.
"I am a grown woman and I think I can speak for myself." Morello replies.
"You know it sounds like a whole lot of bullshit." Piper says.
"It sure is honey, believe me – you don't want that power." DeMarco says.
"Oh gosh no, ain't no way I'd run for something like that. Although, I did run for student council in school once and was the captain of the art club for a while…" Piper explains. The girls are silent and sort of laugh at Piper. "What?" Piper asks.
"Nothing kid, I could just imagine that shit. You look like the uptight, sweater wearing Yentl, character." DeMarco laughs.
Piper raises her eyebrows and tries to hide her smile. "Well then…excuse me but I am going to sit here – quietly – and finish my breakfast because I have a phone call to make." Piper says and continues to eat.
At the black girls table, Taystee is up against Sophia and they are debating who would be better to represent them.
"If y'all want a man representing you, be my fucking guest. That bitch got a plastic pussy or some shit." Taystee says referring to Sophia.
"You wanna see it?" Sophia says proudly.
"Please! You flash that shit like it's made out of diamonds. I done seen it about 10 times already today." Taystee chuckles and Poussey joins in on the laughter.
"Listen, honey, I know all you care about is what you get to watch on the TV, but me and my diamond kitty here wanna prioritize things around this place, like health care, basic human rights." Sophia explains.
"Man, you ain't never gonna change that shit." Taystee replies.
"You think this white people politics?" Poussey laughs.
Taystee then bats her eyes and begins to mimic a white person. "Let's talk about health care, Mackenzie." Taystee says – mimicking her.
"Oh, Amanda, I'd rather not. It's not polite." Poussey replies – going along with the mimicking.
"Well, did you see that wonderful new documentary about the best sushi in the world? Of course, now that I'm vegan, I didn't enjoy it as much as I might have before." Taystee continues.
"You know, I just don't have the time. Chad and I have our yoga workshop, then wine tasting class. And then we have to have really quiet sex every night at 9:00." Poussey continues.
"But did you hear that piece on NPR about hedge funds?" Taystee adds.
"Amanda, let me ask you, what do you think about my bangs these days? I mean, do you like 'em straight down, or should I be doing more of a sweep to the side?" Poussey continues.
"Sweep to the side." Taystee says before they both break character and laugh.
"Oh! All of you who think we don't have any sisters, we're black people. You two can waste your time trying to be like the whities but real ladies walk the walk and talk the talk and that's exactly what I'm gonna do, my sisters." Sophia assures them.
At the Spanish table, the competition is also on.
"Yo, if you want more pizza, vote for Maritza." Maritza cheers.
The Spanish girls laugh. "That shit is horrible." Flaca replies.
"I like pizza. Everyone likes pizza." Maritza says. They stare at her. "What? It's American and shit." Maritza mutters.
"It's Italian, you fucking idiot." Flaca laughs.
"What, you got something better?" Maritza asks.
"Yeah. That's why I'm running, cause I'm gonna beat your short ass!" Flaca giggles.
"Oh, shit. It's on." Gloria laughs.
"Wow, big talk!" Aleida adds.
"What, "Vote for Flaca, puta's full of caca? Aye?" Maritza laughs.
Flaca then stands up and goes to push her but Gloria pulls her down. "All right! Okay!" Gloria grunts as they all mutter indistinctly. "Shit. It don't matter who wins, all right? Just as long as you handle our shit." Gloria says.
"Please. I can out-shout any of these bitches." Marita assures them confidently.
"Are you sure?" Maria asks. They then look over and see the black girls also having a competitive talk.
"Hey, did you know they can't float?" Flaca whispers, referring to black people.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Aleida asks.
"It's true! Like in the swimming pool and shit. Their bone density ain't right for it." Flaca explains. The girls laugh. "Yo, my uncle told me." Flaca sighs.
"Yo, that shit is crazy, Flaca-ca. They're smelly, stupid and lazy, but they ain't got different bones." Aleida says.
"Except in their pants. Yo, let me tell you, them black boys, they got some serious trouser meat. Like, whoa!" Maria adds and they all start to laugh and chant sexually. Leading into the whole cafeteria chanting and cheering sexually and competitively about W.A.C.
"That's enough! Quiet down!" Mendez shouts but the chanting continues.
"Hey! Quiet down! You are in violation of the Litchfield Shut up! All of you!" he shouts again and slams his hands down on the table.
Meanwhile, Chang is in her cube with a bag of oranges, she hides them in her cupboard before grabbing a piece of cardboard from under her mattress and she places it down before grabbing a cup and she retrieves one of the oranges and she squeezes the juice into the cup. She then grabs a small bottle of ketchup from her cupboard and she adds that followed by a little bit of honey. She mixes it around with her fingers and then uses the mixture to write "Vote 4 CHANG!" on the piece of cardboard.
After breakfast, several inmates are lining up at the pharmacy desk to collect their medication. "Black!" Nurse Igme calls as Boo walks up. "Take these with food." He says.
"Ooh, you got me on the yellow ones. I like the yellow ones. Lost 10 pounds on the yellow ones. But gave me that horrible rash on my clitoris…" Boo begins.
"Not my problem." Igme says and rolls his eyes.
"Whatever." Boo laughs and walks off with her meds.
"Bursett." He calls as Sophia walks up to collect her hormones. He hands her the pills. But they aren't her regular ones.
"What are those? Those aren't my pills." Sophia says with concern.
"They are now. Whole prison is going generic." Igme explains.
"What's the dose?" She asks.
"5 milligrams." He replies.
"Then that ain't enough. I need four of those." She assures him.
"I do what the chart says." He replies.
"You can't just change my dose." She says with shock.
"Talk to your counsellor, okay? There's nothing I can do." Nurse Igme grunts and Sophia is angry and storms off.
~Flashback~
~Marcus is becoming a woman~
A few months later, Marcus has gotten the boob and face surgery and has bought some women's clothes for himself. He is trying them on and plans to show his wife, Crystal, to surprise her while she waits with her eyes closed. "I can't take it! Can I open 'em?" Crystal says nervously.
"All righty. Open 'em." Marcus says as Crystal opens her eyes and looks at her husband dressed up as a woman.
She is shocked she takes a second to adjust. "Oh, my God." Crystal says.
"Good or bad?" Marcus asks nervously.
"Not good. You look like Hannah Montana. That skirt is…just no…" Crystal explains.
"I thought it was so cute. That's what happens when I shop for myself. It's 'cause I never got to be a teenage girl." Marcus reveals.
"And you never will be. You should be dressing like a classy grown-up lady." Crystal says.
"You think I'm classy?" Marcus smiles.
"I can't have my husband walking 'round like a $2 hooker." Crystal smiles and she goes over to the closet. "Let's see." She says as she tries to find a dress to give him a rough idea on what style would suit him. "Ah. Yeah, this colour looks good on you. Come here." She smiles and helps Marcus get into a purple dress. She is so sad and hurt on the inside about all of this. She tries not to let it get to her. "Can't believe I'm doing this." She sighs as Marcus tries on the dress.
"You don't have to." Marcus says feeling bad.
"Hmm. Okay…" Crystal sighs thinking Marcus is just guilt tripping her. "That is much better. I can't zip it, but you get the idea." She continues as Marcus poses.
"Holy shit. I look hot." He says as he looks into the mirror.
Crystal stares at her husband looking at himself and she begins to tear up. "Please keep it." She sobs.
"Crystal…" Marcus sighs.
"Marcus, I'm fine with the rest of it. The hair and the makeup. I'll teach you all of it. You'll be a pro. Just please keep your penis." Crystal sighs.
"You know I can't." Marcus says.
"For me!" Crystal begs.
"You don't have to stay. I won't make you." Marcus sighs.
"No? Where would I go? I mean, this is my family." Crystal tears up and she is hurt that Marcus won't sacrifice one thing for her.
"I got this for you. You can try it on if you want." Marcus says and hands her a shopping bag.
"I'm 10 pounds up. All the stress. Besides, your tits are better than mine." Crystal scoffs.
"You're perfect. Come here." Marcus assures her and they embrace and kiss before their son, Michael, walks past and is frustrated and disgusted by his father and slams his door shut.
~End of flashback~
Piper then makes her way down the hall to the phones to call Larry.
"Hello?" Larry says.
"Hey, baby, it's me." Piper replies.
"Oh, hey! How was the visit with your mom the other day?" Larry asks.
"Listen, Larry, I need you to do something for me, and I don't wanna talk about it. I need you to find out if Alex Vause named me at her trial." Piper begins.
"But wait, my dad said the testimony was sealed. Why the sudden interest?" Larry replies with confusion.
"I don't know. It's just eating at me. Don't ask questions, I just got a lot of time on my hands. Please, Larry." Piper begs.
"I don't know if my dad will be able to." Larry replies.
"There's got to be a way. Will you talk to him? Her name is Alex Vause. V-A-U-S-E. This is really important to me." Piper begs.
"Yeah, okay." Larry sighs.
"Thank you." Piper replies.
"But…" he begins.
"I don't want to talk about it." Piper cuts him off.
"Alright." Larry mutters.
"And my mother told me that my eggs are getting old. She said I'm wasting time Larry, I think she'd rather me have come to prison with a baby in my belly." Piper explains.
Larry laughs. "Oh gosh, so her visit was like that, huh?" He laughs.
"Oh yeah…" Piper laughs.
In the library, Alex is reading a book and Nicky comes and finds her. "Look at you, you're having a little Barnes & Nobles moment." Nicky laughs.
"Oh, my bunkie is hosting Bible study, which usually I can tune out, but once they started arguing over who gets raptured first, I had to go." Alex explains.
"Yeah. I am so getting raptured first." Nicky says as she sits beside Alex. Alex laughs. "Yeah, I've technically died on three separate occasions and I've met God. Dude fucking loves me." Nicky says and they both laugh.
"I had this roommate, she was a history major. She claims that she died doing a bunch of whip-its and that an angel of darkness gave her all the answers to her Renaissance final and sent her back." Alex explains.
"Oh yeah? How'd she do?" Nicky asks.
"I think she got a B." Alex laughs.
"That's not bad." Nicky laughs.
"Yeah." Alex replies.
"What was your major?" Nicky asks.
"Oh, I just lived on campus, went to parties. No moolah and no school-ah. Although sometimes I sat in on classes. Film classes, free movies." Alex explains.
"Is that how you know Chapman?" Nicky asks curiously.
Alex looks at Nicky and knows Nicky wants the juicy details. "Kind of." Alex replies.
"Look, I've been in here almost three years. I thought I saw all the permutations of runcher theatre, but you two are in a whole new play. What the fuck went on with you outside?" Nicky asks.
"I don't know. Things. And stuff." Alex mutters.
"Fine. I'll let my imagination keep running wild." Nicky smiles.
"Wait, three years? You've been in here for three years? How much time do you have left?" Alex asks.
"Two more." Nicky reveals.
"Jesus fuck. What for?" Alex asks.
"Drugs, basically. What do you have?" Nicky asks.
"Counting good time, subtract the three, add the one… A fuckload. Of shitty time. With shitty, smelly, farting, crazy, stupid fucking bitches. Most of whom fucking hate me." Alex sighs irritably.
"Yo, should we plan an escape?" Nicky whispers. They both laugh. "Where do you wanna go?" Nicky asks.
"I don't even know anymore. I used to. I had grand plans. Now I can't even get past the swirling darkness in my brain long enough to land on anything." Alex begins to sob.
"Oh, man. I was just starting to like you, Vause. Now, you gonna go soft on me?" Nicky mutters. Alex sniffles and continues to lightly sob. "Oh, fuck. Come here." Nicky says and Alex sobs on Nicky's shoulder. "It'll be okay, sister. There's always hope tomorrow'll be taco night." Nicky mutters.
"Tomorrow's beef and noodles." Taystee says as she overhears them.
"Or beef and noodles." Nicky says, correcting herself and Alex laughs.
In the recreation room, Tiffany "Pennsatucky" Doggett and her followers are watching her as she hangs a poster for her campaign, which is of a cross that says, "God died for our sins – Tiffany wins!" Her followers bow before her and cheer her on.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Tiffany smiles.
"You got this!" Leanne says.
"Yeah, your gonna fly like a butterfly." Another follower, Angie Rice adds. Tiffany laughs excitedly.
Meanwhile, Daya is in her cube hanging one of her drawings but Maria doesn't approve. "You're not allowed to put stuff on the walls." Maria says.
"Everyone has stuff on their walls." Daya replies.
"Officer!" Maria shouts as Officer Bennett walks over.
"What's going on?" he asks.
"Tell her she gotta take that ugly shit down." Maria says.
Bennett observes the drawing. "Your kid draw that?" Bennett asks.
Daya shakes her head, awkwardly. "I did." She replies feeling embarrassed and Maria chuckles. Daya looks down.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything…" Bennett replies feeling bad.
"No, it's okay. I kind of messed it up. The eyes are too small." Daya explains.
"No, it's nice. I mean, it's cool that you can draw, you know? It's art." Bennett smiles. Daya blushes.
"Oh, so you gonna allow that shit?" Maria gasps.
"She can leave it up." Bennett says.
"Fine. Then I'm gonna put my pictures up of Kanye." Maria grunts and storms out leaving Daya and Bennett alone.
"So…" Daya blushes.
"I saw your note. You think I'm cute?" Bennett blushes.
"Maybe." Daya smiles. Bennett blushes more.
"I like you." Daya whispers.
"I like you too…maybe we can keep leaving notes for each other out by the tobacco shack? That's what I call it." He laughs nervously.
"Yeah. I'd like that." Daya blushes.
Larry goes to visit Piper's brother, Cal, who is living in a caravan in the bush and he has a nice camp set up.
"You telling me you don't get lonely out here in the middle of nowhere?" Larry asks.
"No, I'm not into people. I'm more into beans. Did you see my long beans? They're going off. And my banjo. Those are my friends, my beans and my banjo. And I'm banging this underwater welder, Neri, she's super hot and weird." Cal reveals.
"Wow." Larry sighs.
"You gotta have hobbies. What about you? What's happening with the writing? No gigs?" Cal asks.
"Been a little distracted. Maybe you heard, my fiancé's in prison." Larry sighs.
Cal laughs. "Hey, when you visit, do you get to, uh…you know…" Cal winks.
"No, they don't allow conjugal visits in federal. It's a lot of me, myself and I." Larry sighs.
"Bummer. Oh, then you gotta try edging, man." Cal gasps excitedly.
"What is that?" Larry asks.
"It's where you jerk off, okay? Right to the point of orgasm and then stop." Cal explains.
"And you do this because?" Larry asks confusedly.
"Because your jizz is your power, man. It's spiritual, it keeps your Chi inside. Especially if you got writer's block. You gotta walk right up to that line, bro, and not cross it." Cal replies.
"And this is something you do?" Larry laughs.
"Yeah. Welder chick taught me." Cal reveals before getting up and showing Larry how to do it. "See, you gotta, um… you gotta grab right underneath your balls, like, right here, you really gotta get up right up in there." Cal says grabbing beneath Larry's package. Larry flinches.
"Okay, yeah…no…" Larry mutters.
"And it creates, like, a whole body thing. Kind of like a female orgasm." Cal explains and sits. Larry laughs. "You know, most dudes, they don't know what women got, but trust me, bro, it is way, way better. A lot of creative people do it. In fact, they say that John Lennon wrote Imagine - right at that sweet spot." Cal winks.
"Uh, okay…" Larry chuckles.
"Fifteen months. Whoa. It's a long time to wait. Even if it is for my sister." Cal begins.
"How about we don't talk about sex with your sister?" Larry says.
"Good point." Cal replies.
"Did you see this coming?" Larry asks.
"With Piper? No, no, not jail, but something, yeah. She wants to feel like she's different. Likes the whole "I'm risky" thing. My sister's a complicated cat." Cal explains.
"So I'm learning." Larry laughs.
"Not like my parents ever saw it. Between "Perfect Piper" and "Doctor Danny," they met their quality-parenting quota. But, like, I was free to smoke a bowl and fuck off for the rest of my life with nobody ever bothering me. Now, my mom's talking about coming up here to visit, putting me in the Christmas letter. Suddenly I'm "Creative Cal." It's fucked up. Piper going to jail might be, like, the worst thing that has ever happened to me." Cal explains.
Larry lightly laughs. "Oh. You know what's weird…how random your sister is. You know, she wants me to find out if her old girlfriend, Alex, named her." Larry reveals.
"Why?" Cal asks.
"I don't know. She claims it will put her mind at ease or something." Larry replies.
"Hmm, well if Piper going to prison has taught me anything so far, it's that there could be more to this than what she says." Cal suggests.
Larry becomes concerned but shakes it off. "Really? I mean…no…I don't know… I mean, I'll see her tomorrow so…" Larry mutters.
"Look man, don't stress, if it'll make her happy to find out about who named who then just do it." Cal says and Larry wonders if Cal is right.
Sophia goes to Mr Healy's office to question him about her hormones being changed. "Mr Healy, what's the deal with taking my hormones away? It ain't right. Do you have any idea what kinda risk this is." Sophia demands.
"Bursett, sit down." Healy says.
Sophia closes the door and sits down. "Mr Healy, with all do respect, I don't think you understand how serious this is." Sophia explains.
"The bottom line is that the prison can no longer provide high-end hormones." Healy explains.
"If I don't get my medication, I'm going through withdrawal. Hot flashes, night sweats. My face will sag, my body hair will start to grow back." Sophia reveals.
"Okay, we don't need to get into details…" Healy says trying to not get grosses out.
"Let me explain this for you. When my penis was split in half and inverted, my testes were removed, so I don't have any testosterone left to replace the estrogen that you taking away from me!" Sophia explains.
"Okay, okay! What do you want from me?" Healy grunts.
"I wanna see a doctor." Sophia says.
"You can't go to the clinic unless it's an emergency." Healy sighs.
"This is an emergency."
"Yeah, well, we don't see it that way." Healy sighs and continues working but Sophia stares at him. "Was there something else?"
"Yes." Sophia says and she grabs the head off one of Mr Healy's bobble heads and she swallows it and gulps. "I'd like to report an emergency." She says.
~Flashback~
~Michael learns he now has two moms~
Crystal and Marcus sat down with their son, Michael and tried to explain the situation to him.
"Michael, I know it's hard to understand this…but I was born a male to do one thing, produce you but now I need to become true to myself and become the woman I felt I was born to be." Marcus explains. Michael looks over at his mom, who is silent. "Michael, please say something." Marcus begs.
"Ok." Michael says.
"Okay?" Marcus smiles.
"Are you sure you understand and you're okay with all this?" Crystal asks.
"I mean, I think its weird and wrong and messed up and people are gonna think I'm a freak but whatever. I don't want two moms. I want my dad back." Michael explains. Marcus looks hurt.
"Look, it's not easy for any of us to come to terms with but he's still going to be your father and always will." Crystal says.
"I just don't get why he has to become a lady." Michael mutters.
"Me neither…but it's who he wants to be." Crystal sighs.
"Nothing will change Michael." Marcus says tearing up.
"Yeah, right… Can I go now?" Michael asks.
"Yeah…go on…" Crystal sighs.
Marcus tears up and Crystal comforts him.
~End of flashback~
Meanwhile, Taystee is in the library with Poussey and she is reading books on politics. "Yo, T, why you studying up on that shit for? You know you gonna win." Poussey says.
"I know. But I want to learn some more of them fancy white people words to make my campaign look even smarter." Taystee giggles.
"Yeah but you already so smart Taystee." Poussey smiles.
Taystee smiles back at her. "Thanks P." she smiles.
"Yeah man. Now go on keep reading then." Poussey laughs.
Moment's later Sophia is in the clinic and is waiting after having some tests done before the doctor returns. "Okay so, the head should pass through your body in three to five days. Unless you start vomiting or have severe cramping, it's best just to let the body eliminate this on its own." The doctor explains.
"I'm gonna have to shit it out." Sophia laughs.
"If it made it down your oesophagus, it should travel the rest of the way. If it doesn't pass in a week, we'll consider surgery. Pay close attention to your stool." The doctor says.
"I don't think I could miss it." Sophia mutters.
"I'm going to have to put you on suicide watch." The doctor notes.
"What? Why?" Sophia scoffs.
"We take swallowers very seriously." The doctor replies.
"You really think I would've eaten a bobble-head if I wanted to kill myself?" Sophia asks. The doctor ignores her. "Listen, Doc, I need my dosage. I've given five years, $80,000 and my freedom for this. I'm finally who I'm supposed to be. Do you understand? I can't go back." Sophia begs.
"Look, I'd like to help you. Unfortunately, you have elevated levels of AST and ALT, which could mean liver damage…" the doctor begins.
"That's bullshit. That could mean anything." Sophia shouts.
"We're gonna take you off your hormones entirely until we can schedule an ultrasound. Get a clean read." The doctor says.
"What? But that could take months." Sophia scoffs.
"I can offer you an antidepressant." The doctor says. Sophia gives the doctor the evil eye and she storms out.
~Flashback~
~When Marcus became Sophia~
Marcus was at the hospital with Crystal, preparing to have the final surgery. Crystal tries not to cry and she holds Marcus's hands.
"Remember what I said baby, you don't have to stay." Marcus says.
"I know…but I will…cause I love you. I love you Marcus." Crystal says trying not to cry.
"It's gonna be okay baby…" Marcus smiles.
"Shit…" Crystal laughs and wipes her tears and sniffles.
"What?" Marcus asks.
"We gotta start thinking what we gonna call you once this is all over." Crystal laughs.
"How about, Michelle?" Marcus asks.
Crystal laughs. "No. Something else, something more…upbeat." Crystal says.
Marcus smiles as he figures out the perfect name. "How about Sophia. You know, we were gonna name our daughter that after my baby sister." Marcus smiles.
Crystal tears up. "It's beautiful. I like it." She smiles.
~End of flashback~
That night, Mendez is at a bar meeting up with an old friend, James, catching up. "How's life in the Litch?" James asks.
Mendez scoffs. "Fucking shit. Those damn, women…god man…they all desperate sluts in prison." Mendez scoffs.
"Shit, you got much shit going through there?" James asks.
"What do you mean?" Mendez asks.
"Yo, over in Cali, when I was doing my time, we got some good shit coming through…like real good shit, if you know what I mean…the addicts love it." James explains.
Mendez thinks for a moment and chuckles. "Shit." He smiles.
"You need to have a way in but." James says.
"Oh don't worry, I got that covered…" Mendez smiles.
"Oh shit man, your gonna be in the business." James laughs.
"You're a fucking genius man." Mendez laughs and they cheers excitedly as Mendez is planning on using Red to smuggle drugs in to give to the junkies.
The following morning Morello is in the bathroom doing her hair and Nicky walks in. "Hey! There she is, miss W.A.C. attack." Nicky laughs.
"Gosh, Nichols I am so nervous." Morello says.
"You'll do great kid." Nicky assures her.
"Thank you." Morello smiles.
"So uh, you forgive me yet? You wanna fuck for good luck?" Nicky asks.
"Nichols. I can't do that anymore…I told you. I'm sorry." Morello sighs.
"Alright. It was worth a shot." Nicky says.
After breakfast, Piper gets a visit from Larry and Polly. Piper explains the latest on the prison gossip. "And so, now all these girls are acting crazy because they're all running for the W.A.C." Piper explains. Larry and Polly laugh. "So that's the big news in my small world. Um… what's happening with Barney's? Did you talk to Weiner?" Piper asks referring to the PoPi business.
"Yes, I have. Actually, there is… oh, well, it's funny, but there's a problem." Polly mutters.
"What?" Piper asks.
"They have concerns about our ability to produce since we still don't have a space." Polly reveals.
"You told them that? They don't need to know that. Why did you tell them that?" Piper gasps.
"I don't know, because they asked? I'm sorry, should I have texted you first?" Polly says sarcastically.
"We don't have an official order yet. They could take us off the shelves." Piper gasps with worry.
"Well, you know, I was thinking maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea." Polly mutters.
"Excuse me?" Piper gasps.
"I mean, maybe it's not the best time to expand our business." Polly replies.
"Polly, I quit my job for this." Piper explains.
"Right and then you went to prison. If I'd known you wouldn't be around to handle things, I would have delayed the baby and gotten a puppy. But I'm the size of Venus and allergic to dogs, so fuck it." Polly says. Piper is silent, she is angry.
"Polly, we were counting on the extra income." Larry adds.
"Please, like you even pay rent." Polly says.
"I pay rent. Who told you I don't pay rent?" Larry gasps.
"Polly, I know that you're having a baby, but what about our baby? What about Baby PoPi?" Piper sighs.
"What if Piper talks to Weiner? You have more of a rapport, right?" Larry asks and looks at Piper.
"Yes! She likes me!" Piper smiles.
"Okay…so, should I see if she'll drive up with us next week?" Polly asks.
"No. We can set up a call. I'll call you, and then the recording about it being a call from prison will play, and then you can call her from your phone, conference her in, and I can talk to her. Please?" Piper begs.
Polly is silent. "I don't know. I'll see. I just don't think any of this is a good idea at least while you're still in here." Polly sighs.
Piper tries not to get irritated and changes the subject. "Honey, have you talked to your dad about Alex?" Piper asks.
"No, I…Not yet. I will…but…" Larry mumbles deciding whether or not to ask Piper if she is hiding something but he shakes it off.
"Faster, please. Come on." Piper says.
"Okay, well, I'll ask him about it when I see him later this week." Larry says.
"Ask him what?" Polly asks.
"To look over the indictment. To see if Alex really named her." Larry explains.
"Of course she named me. It's so obvious." Piper mutters.
"Then why does his dad need to check?" Polly asks.
"So I can shove it in her smug, lying, fucking lying, fucking face. I know she's lying." Piper grunts.
"Hold up. What, she's in here with you?" Larry gasps.
Piper is busted. "Shit…" she mutters.
"Why didn't you tell me? You lied to me!" Larry gasps.
"Honey, I didn't lie to you. I just failed to mention. I didn't want you to worry." Piper assures him.
"Worry? Worry about what?" Larry asks.
"That she'd turn gay again." Polly says.
"Whoa. That's not happening. And you don't just turn gay. You fall somewhere on a spectrum. Like, on a Kinsey scale. Okay. Besides, she is the last person around here that I'd sleep with." Piper explains.
"Who's the first?" Larry asks.
"See, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that. I just…ugh, this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you. Because I knew that you would do this. What are you afraid of? That I'm going to do something? "Gay"? Or something?" Piper asks.
"I wasn't worried before, until you lied. Now I'm… now I'm wondering if maybe you're worried you will." Larry says with frustration.
"Ah. Classic projection." Polly laughs.
"Polly, don't help!" Piper snaps.
"I'll do this for you Piper. Because I love. I trust you. At least I hope I can…" Larry sighs.
Meanwhile, Sophia is also in the visitation room with Crystal. Sophia once again notices her son hasn't come to visit her.
"Where is he?" Sophia asks with disappointment.
"He won't come. I tried." Crystal sighs.
"Again…when is he going to get past this?" Sophia sobs.
"Give it time…" Crystal sighs. Sophia sniffles and stops crying.
"They let him pitch Friday. This big game against Castle Hill. They won." Crystal smiles.
"That's great." Sophia says effortlessly.
"You look like shit. What's wrong?" Crystal asks realising Sophia's depressing attitude.
"They took me off my hormones." Sophia reveals.
"What, why?" Crystal asks.
"They're saying it's liver damage. It's bullshit. They just don't wanna be liable." Sophia explains.
"Oh, I'm sorry, baby." Crystal sighs.
"I'm losing my shit, Crystal. I didn't wanna have to ask you, but I don't know what else to do." Sophia begins.
"What?" Crystal asks.
Sophia leans forward and begins to whisper. "I need you to sneak 'em in." Sophia whispers.
Crystal sits up straight and crosses her arms. "How?" she asks.
"I don't know." Sophia mutters.
"You want me to shove 'em up my ass? Take 'em out in the bathroom? Then what? Put 'em in my mouth so I can kiss you? Have you lost your fucking mind?" Crystal grunts.
"It's crazy, I know." Sophia sighs.
"You want me to get locked up, too? Oh, that's perfect. Yeah, Michael can go live with my mother, who won't speak to me anymore at all – because of you. But you? Well, you'll have your smooth skin and your lady curves, so it'll all be worth it." Crystal snaps.
"I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry." Sophia tears up.
"I'm working two jobs, I'm trying to raise our son. You know they trying to seize the house?" Crystal says.
"They can't do that. I never paid any of our bills with those stolen credit cards." Sophia assures her.
"I can't even show my face in church anymore." Crystal continues.
"I'm sorry." Sophia sighs.
"How fucking selfish can you be?" Crystal asks.
"Crystal, if they take this away from me, this will all have been for nothing." Sophia tries to explain.
"I married a man named Marcus. I cry for him all the time. But I stayed and I supported you because I could see how much pain you were in. I know it was saving your life." Crystal says.
"It was." Sophia sobs.
"I figured better my kid had two moms than a dead dad, right? At least he'd be around, which is more than my father was. At least he'd be at his baseball games, even if it was in a dress. So I put up with you becoming a woman, but I never signed on for a life with a criminal." Crystal says.
"I'm gonna get my shit together. I promise. I'm gonna make it up to you." Sophia assures her.
"Oh, you wanna make it up to me? Do your time. Get the fuck out of here, so you can be a father to your son. Man up." Crystal says. Sophia cries as Crystal leaves.
Meanwhile, Maritza and Flaca are in their dorm preparing for their campaign. "I'm gonna choose the colour purple and like be like a giant ball of red energy like a My Chemical Romance concert." Flaca says.
"Please, I'm gonna be all like a Latina A-Lister and rule that shit." Maritza replies.
"Don't get your hopes up." Flaca says.
"Ay, ladies how about less shit talk and we actually go outside. You two can keep count." Gloria says.
"Ay, not that stupid cardboard checkers shit again." Maritza says and rolls her eyes.
"Shit." Flaca adds and they follow Gloria.
Sophia walks into the kitchen after an emotional visit with her wife. She comes to see Red. "How you doing, Red?" Sophia asks.
"I'm missing half my zucchini. These girls don't realize I'm here to provide food, not dildos. I'm all out of cucumbers, carrots, beets. God knows what they're doing with those. Can't hang on to anything cock-shaped." Red explains as she chops a cucumber in front of Sophia before realizing the irony. "Sorry. Too soon?" Red says.
"A little." Sophia says.
"You, I don't understand you. I got three sons, and let me tell you, if they tried to do what you did, I'd chop off their hands before I'd let them get rid of their baby makers." Red says.
"I already made my baby. Listen, I need you to get something in." Sophia whispers.
"Talk to Gina. She takes my orders, you know how this goes." Red sighs.
"It's something that's hard to get. Estrogen pills or patches." Sophia explains.
"I don't do drugs." Red says.
"It's medication." Sophia begs.
"I got rules. No drugs. Nothing like that comes through my kitchen. Besides, even if I wanted to help you, I don't have connections like that." Red explains. Sophia sighs. "Here, have a yam. My mamochka ate those during her menopause. And I'll get you some soy, but that's the best I can do." Red explains.
"What if I have my own connections?" Sophia suggests.
"Do you not hear me, huh? It's not gonna happen." Red says.
"Red, please. I am desperate." Sophia begs.
"Listen, sweetheart, there's other channels. But I really don't think you wanna go down that road." Red reveals referring to Pornstache – Mendez.
~Flashback~
~Sophia takes her son out~
After the surgery, Marcus was now Sophia and one day she was with Michael at the shoe store and she watches as he tries on a few pairs of shoes.
"You wanna go down that road? I say Jordans." The clerk says.
"Those are cool." Sophia says.
"Those are gay. I like the Lebrons." Michael says.
"You want the highs or the lows?" the clerk asks.
"Both." Michael says.
"No. Pick one, baby." Sophia says.
"If it were up to me, my man, I'd say the lows. Those Dunkmans are tight. They're the hottest pair of kicks to drop this year." The clerk explains.
"How much?" Sophia asks.
"$300." The clerk reveals.
"We'll take 'em, right?" Michael asks and looks up at Sophia, she doesn't want to let him down but she also doesn't want to pay that much. Sophia opens her purse and Michael sees the multiple credit cards. Michael is a smart kid and does the math. He realised his "father" was a criminal.
"We'll take them." Sophia sighs.
"Look, stand up. Check 'em out. You're gonna love those shoes." The clerk says.
Suddenly, a familiar face, Sophia's old work colleague, Pat, enters the store. "Excuse me, do you have…Oh hey, Michael, what are you doing here?" Pat begins before realising who Sophia is. "Oh, shit!" Pat says.
"Hi, Pat." Sophia smiles.
"Shit…uh yeah. I, uh… Deborah's doing some shopping, so I just thought I'd…look in here…" Pat stutters.
"Did you get my letter? I was hoping to hear from you." Sophia sighs.
"Yeah, I was, uh I'm sorry. I gotta go. Take care, Michael. Nice kicks." Pat says and leaves uncomfortably.
Michael is embarrassed and frustrated that people act that way. "Sometimes it's hard for people." Sophia begins but Michael kicks over a few boxes of shoes and storms out of the shop. "Michael. Michael! No!" Sophia shouts.
"Sir. Ma'am. You need to pay for those!" The clerk says. Sophia sighs and tears up.
~End of flashback~
Piper goes to Mr Healy's office, "Mr Healy." She says.
"Chapman. Take a seat." He says as she closes the door and sits. "What can I do for you Chapman?" he asks.
"Well, see I actually wanted to talk about the W.A.C. thing…like the girls are going…crazy and I hear your way of doing things isn't very effective – no offence." She begins.
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"Well…I just think that dismissing all these great, important ideas isn't effective…it all goes by budgets? I mean what's best for the women? What do they want? Oh, it's just the girls are trying really hard and I don't want it to be all for nothing. They deserve to make a change." Piper sighs.
"I wish we could all sing and dance with rainbows too but we can't. The thing is Chapman, these women don't know what they want. And it is in our best interest to do what is best for these girls. We have a fair system and we address everyone's concerns equally." Healy says.
"Okay, but I think with the right leader, even under unfairness, that these girls could really…get more out of themselves and this place." Piper says.
"You know…actually…I think the two of us working together, we could really turn some things around. Or at the very least, make things a little quieter." Healy says with realisation.
"What? Me? You want me to run for W.A.C.? It's not my thing, I just want to sit in the background with my head down…besides Morello is my friend and I just made things right with Red and I don't want to run against them." Piper explains.
"That's nice Chapman, real nice. Remind me why you're talking to me about this again? Because we don't get ladies as bright as yourself in here often. He says.
"Thank you, Mr Healy. I appreciate that. I really do. But I'm trying this new thing where I stay out of the spotlight. I feel I think that it's a better bet for me." Piper declines.
"I'm giving you a chance to make your time count, Chapman." Healy says. "Thank you. But I need to politely decline." Piper says.
"Well, I'm disappointed. Now, excuse me Chapman, I am busy." Healy says.
"Sorry sir." Piper says gets up to leave.
"It's certainly not like I can force you to run anyway, right?" Healy smiles as he gets an idea. Piper smiles politely and walks out.
Meanwhile, Mendez goes into the kitchen to talk to Red. "Red, clear your girls out, I need to talk to you." Mendez says. Red rolls her eyes.
"Gina, Norma get the girls out of here. This will just take a second…I hope." Red sighs as her girls leave. "What do you want?" she asks.
"I was wondering, if you could get some shit in for me. You know, the same way you smuggle shit in for the girls." Mendez says.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I am clean. I don't smuggle shit in." She assures him.
"Don't lie to me Red." Mendez says.
"I'm not lying, search the kitchen for all I care. I don't do that shit." Red says.
"Bitch, you're in here for affiliation with a Russian mob, I'm pretty sure your good at organising illegal shit." Mendez scoffs.
"I don't do anything illegal, I'm in here. I don't have that kinda power." Red says.
"Fine. Play it that way. But if I were you, I'd start keeping an eye on your girls because I've noticed some of them have the shivers." Mendez reveals and he walks out. Red becomes worried that Mendez is going to bring drugs in.
In the staff room, Healy finds Fig and reveals he is stressed out and tries to defend the new generic medication situation. "You can't just change people's meds! I got a line of golden girls complaining about blood pressure pills. Half this prison's on antidepressants. You take away their Zoloft, they're gonna go off the rails. Monumentally bad. Monumental pain in my ass!" Healy grunts.
"Your ass?" Fig scoffs.
"Yeah." He mutters.
"I'm juggling vendor changes, staff reductions. Look at me, I'm even paying for my own coffee here right now." Fig explains as she waits for the coffee machine to work.
"Look, I got a tranny camped out in my hallway yelling about her hormones!" Healy begs.
"Well, he can suck it up. She. Jesus." Fig sighs irritably.
"She could be a major headache for us." Healy says.
"We are only required to give her enough to maintain. It is a federal system. If he wanted to keep his girlish figure, he should've stayed out of jail. Why would anyone ever give up being a man? It's like winning the lottery and giving the ticket back." Fig says.
"I don't get it either. But what do you plan on doing Natalie?" Healy asks.
"That's Mrs Figueroa to you, and I won't be doing anything because that tranny can suck it up." Fig says and walks off.
In her salon, Sophia is depressed but Big Boo comes for a haircut. "Hey, why so glum buttercup?" Boo asks. Sophia then explains the whole hormone situation. "You could sue. I heard about this tranny in Massachusetts. State paid for her whole hoo-ha." Boo explains.
"I don't need them to pay for the car. I just need them to buy the oil." Sophia sighs.
Big Boo chuckles. "What exactly is going on with you anyway? Is it like menopause?" Boo asks.
"Same idea. Not enough lady juice. Skin gets loose, tits get saggy. Hulk gets angry." Sophia explains.
"Oh…shit…that's dark." Boo says.
"Yeah it is." Sophia says.
"Hey, I know what you can do. You find an old lady lifer and you bum her estrogen." Boo suggests.
"You think the Feds gives a shit about a felon's hot flashes? None of that gets covered." Sophia scoffs.
"Nun gets it. I'm on the pill line with her." Boo reveals.
"Bullshit. It's probably just anti-depressants." Sophia sighs.
"Oh, really? Ever heard of an SSRI called Gynotab?" Boo asks.
"Really? Sister Ingalls? Thank you." Sophia smiles and gets a bit over excited and clenches a fistful of Boo's hair.
"Ow! What the fuck? Girl, you pulled my hair!" Boo laughs.
Daya meets Bennett at the tobacco shack. He is placing some tobacco in his mouth. "I'm trying to stop smoking. My buddy says that this helps." Bennett explains.
"Menthols were my thing. Newports. Still jonesin'." Daya laughs. Bennett chuckles before spitting into a cup. "Can I try some?" she asks.
"Um, I guess if you don't um…" Bennett stutters.
"You can trust me, I'm not gonna tell anyone." Daya assures him. He smiles and she grabs a pinch of tobacco. "Where do you put it? Like, underneath your tongue or…" she asks.
"Between your lip and your lower front teeth." He explains.
"Okay. Just Here." She says and she puts it in her mouth before almost gagging at the taste. "That's disgusting. That's horrible." She gags.
"Yeah." Bennett chuckles and hands her the cup to spit in.
"Thanks. Sorry. I didn't like that." She says.
"It's gross, I know. I shouldn't really do it either." Bennett says and they both laugh. "You got a little… between your two teeth." He says.
"Oh." Daya says and tries to get it.
"No, the other two, but also those. It's in all your teeth." He laughs.
"Wait, hold on." Daya says as she gets an idea.
"What are you doing?" he asks as she removes her earing.
"Would you use it as a toothpick and... you know, would you?" she asks.
"Yeah. Sure." He says and he cleans her teeth. "Much better." He says.
"Thanks." She smiles.
"You have a beautiful smile. You look like you have very soft lips too." Bennett blushes.
"Do you think they look kissable?" she asks.
"Uh…yeah." He blushes. Daya leans in and they share their first sweet kiss. "Wow." He sighs.
"What?" she giggles.
"You are very kissable." He smiles.
"You too." She smiles.
Sophia finds Sister Jane leaving the recreation room and Sophia catches up and tries to bond with her and befriend her in hopes she will spare her some pills. "Sister Ingalls. How was your service?" Sophia asks.
"Oh, fine. Besides it not being in an actual chapel but thank you for asking. Uh Sophia." Sister Jane says.
"Sophia. That's right." Sophia smiles.
"Oh good, I'm horrible with names." Sister Jane laughs.
"What was your sermon about?" Sophia asks.
"Oh, I don't give sermons. I'm not a priest. But we did have a good group discussion about overcoming sin." Sister Jane explains.
"Oh, I'm sorry I missed that." Sophia sighs.
"Really? Are you Catholic?" Sister Jane asks with surprise.
"No! But Well, I think a lot about overcoming sin. And I just love Jesus Christ. And I've always wanted to try one of those communion wafers." Sophia reveals.
"Well, I have a box of a thousand. They're not as fresh as the ones you get outside of prison, but they're good with dip." Sister Jane says and they both laugh. "Oh, I forgot my hat." Sister Jane says and turns around.
"Mind if I come with you?" Sophia asks.
"Not at all. You know, there's a few things in the bible that really help me overcome sin and make me feel good again. May I read you some?" Sister Jane asks. Sophia nods. "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." Sister Jane reads.
"What's that?" Sophia asks.
"Corinthians 4:16. Just something I say to myself when I think my ass looks fat." Sister Jane laughs.
"So you do understand what I've been going through." Sophia smiles.
"I do. People talk. I get it. I know, changes in the body can be painful. But remember, your body is just the ship. Your soul is the passenger." Sister Jane smiles
"Oh." Sophia chuckles.
"There's another passage here." Sister Jane begins but Sophia cuts her off.
"So you been through menopause?" Sophia asks.
"Oh, yes, dear." Sister Jane says.
"Did you just pray that you'd get through it?" Sophia asks.
"More or less." Sister Jane sighs.
"What's the "more" part? And the "less"?" Sophia asks.
"I also exercised regularly." Sister Jane reveals.
"See, it's especially hard for me because it's taken me so long to get to this point. And I'm just not ready to give it up, you know?" Sophia begins.
"Yes, you've said." Sister Jane says.
"And I sacrificed so much." Sophia says.
"Right." Sister Jane nods.
"And I feel like finally, finally, I'm the woman that God intended me to be, you know?" Sophia smiles.
"That's wonderful. You're not getting my hormones." Sister Jane stops her – knowing what Sophia was up to. Sophia looks surprised and busted. "Now, shall we return to Scripture?" Sister Jane asks.
"You knew? This whole time?" Sophia gasps.
"I figured you were clueless and had no interest in religion a while ago when you thought "Stations of the Cross" meant Christian radio. And as I said, people talk. I knew it would be a matter of time before you came asking me. But why don't you ask the golden girls?" Sister Jane reveals.
"So you've been playing with me?" Sophia mutters.
"You may be unhappy, but it has nothing to do with your body. If you were truly a woman, you'd never be happy with that anyway. You have guilt." Sister Jane sighs.
"About what?" Sophia scoffs.
"About leaving your wife to take care of Michael alone. About Michael being the one who ratted you out to the police." Sister Jane sighs.
Sophia snaps. "Don't you talk to me about that! You don't get to talk to me about that!" Sophia snaps and begins to storm off.
"Sophia!" Sister Jane calls.
"Leave me alone!" Sophia shouts and runs off.
~Flashback~
~Sophia gets arrested~
One night after the incident in the shoe store, Sophia and Crystal were in the kitchen making dinner together.
Michael sneaks into the living room and looks through Sophia's purse and realises the cards all belong to different people. He picks up the phone and calls the police.
Moments later, the police arrive. There is a knock on the door.
"I'll get it." Crystal says and she opens the door.
"We're looking for your husband or…wife…" the officer says.
Sophia comes out and is shocked.
"You have the right to remain silent." The officer says and puts handcuffs on Sophia.
"I don't understand! What's happening?" Crystal asks.
"Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney." The officer explains.
"Marcus, what did you do?" Crystal asks.
"If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as I just read 'em to you?" The officer continues.
"Yes." Sophia sighs and as she is taken away she sees Michael sitting on the staircase holding her purse. She tears up realizing Michael gave her in.
"With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?" the officer asks.
"No." Sophia cries and she is taken away.
~End of flashback~
In the cafeteria, all the girls eagerly wait for the winners of W.A.C. to be announced.
"The winners of the W.A.C. elections will be announced shortly." The PA system announces.
Piper sits with Big Boo, Nicky, Morello, Alex, DeMarco, Yoga Jones, Miss Rosa and another Inmate, Reece Farrah.
"I'm real nervous." Morello says nervously.
"I thought the whole idea of Red endorsing you is that you're going to win." Piper laughs.
"It is. She's just playing coy. It's a talent of hers." Nicky says.
"I made Claudette's famous coconut cake in honour of our new W.A.C. representative." Red says as she walks over and puts down a slab of cake.
"Should coconut be beige?" Nicky says sarcastically – still jealous that Red picked Lorna to run for W.A.C.
Red slaps Nicky over the head. "Fine. No cake for you, little girl, big mouth." Red grunts.
"Tough love, I guess, huh?" Piper sighs.
"Jesus. I don't know how you deal with her." Alex says and comforts Nicky. Piper looks away.
"Attention! Ladies, attention, please." Mr Healy says over the PA.
"How's my hair?" Morello asks nervously.
"You look great, kid. Don't worry. You're gonna be great." Nicky says and caresses Morello's cheek.
"Your elected W.A.C. leaders are… representing Spanish Harlem, Ruiz." Healy begins.
"Which Ruiz?" Gloria asks as the Spanish girls all stare at each other.
"Maria Ruiz." Healy continues.
"Oh, shit!" Maria shrieks.
"What the fuck?" Flaca grunts.
"Fucking bullshit." Maritza adds. The girls laugh.
"Representing the blacks, Jefferson." Healy continues.
"Ooh! Taystee is prison president, bitches!" Taystee jumps with joy. Sophia rolls her eyes and storms out. Poussey and the other black girls cheer for Taystee.
"Chang, who will be representing both the others and the golden girls." Healy continues.
"Yay for Chang!" Chang shouts.
Finally, the white girls all wait with anticipation. Lorna clenches Red's hand. Pennsatucky prays.
"Representing the white girls… Chapman." Healy reveals.
The girls gasp and are shocked. Piper is confused. "But you didn't even run!" Morello grunts.
Piper's face fills with fear. She is mortified as she is bound to become the most hated inmate at Litchfield as all the inmates stare at her.
Episode Six:
My Kitchen, My Rules!
Piper rushes to her cube and she falls onto her bed. Miss Claudette enters. She rolls her eyes. "You know a lot of girls are angry with you right now." Claudette says.
"I know. This is perfect, just fucking perfect!" Piper sighs with frustration.
"Language!" Claudette snaps.
"Sorry. It's just I finally felt like I made things right and was getting along with everybody and now…I'm the most hated prisoner here. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm freaking out." Piper says and begins struggling to breathe.
"Are you okay? Pull yourself together girl!" Claudette says with concern.
Piper takes a deep breath. "I think I just need to zen myself. Maybe I should join yoga." Piper sighs.
Claudette rolls her eyes and starts reading a book.
In the cafeteria, Morello is extremely angry and upset. "I can't believe this. How did this happen?" Morello cries.
"I don't know how she did it, but I plan on finding out." Red says.
"Yeah, she was using us so we'd wouldn't expect her." Nicky says.
"Yeah, she's good at using people." Alex sighs. Nicky looks over at Alex curiously.
"Ah, that white bitch has caused a whole lot of shit. She better run for the hills." Boo laughs.
"We won't need to punish her because every inmate that is pissed at her will take her down for us." Red says.
"I just can't believe Chapman would do this! I thought she was my friend." Morello cries.
"She's not your friend. She is a leech." Red replies. Morello continues to cry. "Nicky, take care of her. I got work to do." Red says and walks away.
"Hey, come on…" Nicky says and hugs Morello and they begin to leave the cafeteria. "You know, she probably got the job by sucking dick." Nicky says.
Mendez and Bennett are in their security post in the black dorm chatting. An inmate walks by and Mendez objectifies them. "Now, that's a fucking waste right there. Black girl with white girl booty. I mean, what's the point?" Mendez scoffs. Bennett rolls his eyes. "Ooh, and watch out for this one, man. She looks real good, and then she opens her mouth. She's got those snaggly fucking Gargamel teeth." Mendez says and growls – mimicking her. "Fucking meth heads, man." Mendez chuckles. Bennett smiles politely. Mendez rolls his eyes trying to make Bennett lighten up. Sophia then walks past. "Now, that right there. That's a whole different species, my friend." Mendez says referring to Sophia. "Watch." He continues. "Hey, Bursett. Come over here." Mendez opens the door and invites her over. Sophia walks over and Mendez unwraps a cheeseburger from McDonalds and rubs it in her face. "Mmm. Smell that. That smell good to you?" Mendez asks.
"Mickey D's?" Sophia says.
"How long's it been since you had one of these?" Mendez asks.
"Long time." Sophia sighs.
"Mmm-hmm. Do you want some?" Mendez offers.
"You offering me a taste?" Sophia asks.
"You can suck it out of my dick." Mendez scoffs.
"I don't do sausage in my breakfast sandwich." Sophia grunts.
"What the fuck are you doing inside the CO bubble? Your foot's over the line, Bursett. You better get back before I give you a SHOT." Mendez grunts, scaring her off.
Mendez returns and sits across from Bennett. "Shit is wild, right?" Bennett chuckles. Mendez begins to eat his burger. "Freaky. Freaky-deaky. Freaktown." Bennett continues and laughs.
"Mm cyborg pussy. I bet it's fucking perfect." Mendez comments.
"Don't tell me you'd hit that?" Bennett gasps.
Mendez chuckles. "I live in the present, not in the past. Besides, she used to have a dick, and so she knows what it likes." Mendez laughs. Bennett cringes at the idea of it. "What'd you guys do about pussy in Iraq anyway? Did you fuck camels?" Mendez asks.
"I was in Afghanistan. And you don't go anywhere near the camels, 'cause sometimes they strap them up with explosives and run them into camp and pow!" Bennett explains imitating an explosion. Mendez raises his eyebrows. "And if you try to have sex with the girls there, their village throws rocks at 'em till they die, so there's not a lot going on. Plus, they're all dressed like beekeepers. Occasionally, a Russian hooker comes through, but those girls are nasty and they cry a lot." Bennett continues.
"Okay…whatever. Well all these offenders want a piece of me, Bennett. You know why? It's the fucking pheromones, man. You get 'em all locked up like this for a long time, and they get this prehistoric yearning for man-stink. They fucking hate my guts, you know? But they can't help themselves. I'm musty and they love it." Mendez grins.
"You don't really actually…" Bennett stutters.
"What? Fuck 'em?" Mendez scoffs. Bennett nods. "Hell, no! That's against the rules." Mendez says.
"Of course." Bennett laughs.
"But I tell you what, grasshopper. Some of these bitches would suck it for half a cigarette. Man, I love this job." Mendez grins.
Meanwhile, as new rosters come in, Red is required to make changes to her team of kitchen helpers.
"Red, the stock just arrived out back." Gina says.
"Good, I'll handle it." Red says and goes out to the dock. Red is sorting through some of the boxes that just arrived and removes a bag full of make-up and junk food. This is something she has always done through her private vendor. Which is why Mendez asked her to smuggle drugs in previously. Red hides the stuff down her shirt and leaves the kitchen to hand out the goodies to her girls. She finds DeMarco and gives her some new earrings. She gives Miss Rosa a box of popsicles. She gives Norma some new pencils. She gives Yoga Jones some green tea bags. She then finds Boo and gives her a bag of candy. Red smiles and walks away proudly; she knows how to keep her girls happy.
~Flashback~
~Red helps the Russian mob~
After the tit punch incident, Dmitri became closer to Ganya and his men to get on their good side. They were discussing their businesses the best ways to move products through their market vendor. Red is listening whilst she cleans tables nearby.
They speak in Russian, "I have eighty crates of tomatoes rotting in a Bensonhurst warehouse. Eighty. I lower prices, our competition lowers prices. And like this Neptune has lost three restaurants in three weeks." Ganya explains.
"The men who run these restaurants, maybe we meet with them, maybe you make deal to bid the lowest." Dmitri suggests.
"It's not about the prices, it's about the books." Ganya says.
"Right." Dmitri says.
"We have to move product regularly. Then, and only then, we can explain other income." Ganya says.
"Maybe you're not thinking big enough." Red interrupts. Dmitri cringes with worry. Ganya looks at Red. "Restaurants come and go, yes? Look at this place. Every week, we almost close. But not schools. Not prisons. Not hospitals." Red begins.
"Galina…" Dmitri tries to stop her.
"All I'm saying is, you get something big, something steady, like the Italians have with the garbage, then you're not out chasing bids. My father, he sold candy out of a box. Every day, up and down the street. He walked so much he wore holes in his shoes. Until one day, he passed by an army base, right after the soldiers' lunchtime. And he realized that all he had to do was stand there and open his box. He sold out in minutes. So he did it again, day after day. There were always soldiers, there was always lunch, and they always wanted candy bars. No more holes in his shoes." Red explains proudly.
Ganya stares at Red for a moment.
"Galina, I need more cream." Dmitri says, getting rid of her.
"Of course, honey." She says and takes Dmitri's cup to fill it with cream.
Ganya is impressed, Red knows technique and she may be on to something. Dmitri rolls his eyes and mocks his wife he and Ganya's men laugh but Ganya doesn't he likes Red's idea.
~End of flashback~
Piper is still keeping her distance from Alex, waiting to see if Alex really did name her so she can stop feeling bad and rub it in her face. She calls Polly and asks her about the business. "Have you given any thought to letting me speak with Weiner?" Piper asks.
"Listen Piper, I admire your business drive and get you have nothing better to do while your in there but I haven't been able to get in contact with Weiner, she is extremely busy or is avoiding us because she knows about your situation. Maybe it's a sign. We shouldn't do this anymore." Polly sighs.
"What?" Piper asks. "I mean it was fun. I had a lot of fun doing it but it was crazy in the first place. I mean to me it's just a hobby Piper, there's more to life than soaps." Polly explains.
"Wow, okay…just keep trying Polly…please…for me." Piper begs.
"I'll try. But I gotta go, me and Pete are late for maternal aqua aerobics." Polly explains.
"Okay." Piper says and hangs up.
Sophia is later called to the chemist cell. "Bursett. Here you go." Nurse Igme says.
Sophia is surprised. "Um, those are my old pills." Sophia mutters with confusion.
"Yep. Healy pushed the incident forward and we're giving you back your normal hormones." Igme explains.
"Thank you. Thank you!" Sophia smiles and walks off proudly with her pills.
The councilwomen are called to Mr Healy's office. "Good morning. Welcome. Ladies of the W.A.C." Mr Healy smiles.
"Hey! Are you taking us to prom or something?" Taystee laughs.
"Just close the door, please." He says. Maria closes the door and the girls all sit. "Thank you. All right. Now, a small token of my esteem." Mr Healy says and reveals fresh coffees and donuts for the girls.
"Dang, Healy. That's proper!" Taystee giggles.
Healy chuckles proudly. "Now you talk about this outside, you never see bear claws again." He says.
"Silencio, Mr Healy. We're gonna be like Red's lady. What's her name? The one that don't talk?" Maria says.
"Norma." Taystee answers.
"We gonna be like four Norma's." Maria continues.
"All right, now, business, i.e. if you will, the concerns of your fellow inmates." Healy begins and gets his notepad ready.
"Mr Healy, the pillow that we get for sleeping is thin like paper. Sometimes, yo necessito two pillows. For ergonomics." Maria says.
"A second pillow?" Healy asks.
"Yo, write it down." Maria says.
"Jefferson?" he asks.
"Okay, first of all, the hot sauce in the commissary is bullshit. We want that Thailand sauce, the one with the rooster on it." Taystee begins.
"Rooster sauce. Got it." He says.
"And second of all, ain't no reason we can't get Fifty Shades of Grey in the library!" Taystee begs.
"We talked about this, Jefferson. Fed's not gonna subsidize erotica." Healy explains.
"I've got a copy." Piper whispers.
"I've got one, too." Maria adds.
"Fifty Shade." Chang winks.
"I withdraw my request. But I think we should have a system where I can be in charge of the TV remote at all time, please Mr Healy, ain't nobody wanna watch that boring shit that the meth heads watch and Maria's straight up about the pillows." Taystee says.
"Okay, fine, I'll get you a remote. And Pillows again. Chapman?" he asks.
"You're done?" Piper asks Taystee, surprised that Taystee has no more requests.
"Far as I know." Taystee shrugs.
"Okay. First of all I have no idea how I got here… but I'm gonna make the most of it. The thing is, I think that a few basic changes could drastically improve the quality of life. Like clinic hours every week for preventative health care. And re-opening the track. And maybe legal counselling. And the GED program. Now, I understand that there's a mould situation in the classroom, but this needs to be addressed. The inmates down the hill, they get classes, and they are not getting out any time soon. We are here for shorter stays. We should be learning to improve ourselves, as students or even teachers." Piper explains.
"Something's telling me she has a teacher in mind." Taystee laughs.
"I think a whole lot could be improved." Piper says.
"Ok. Chang, you're up." Healy says.
"Okay, Mr Healy. Okay." Chang says then goes silent.
"Lay it on me, Chang." Healy waits.
"Okay." Chang nods, she's got noting.
"Good. We got a good list going here, some good ideas. Now, the problem is, I think some of these are a bit unrealistic, as I see it is that is that we have a budget situation. Now, I can do my best, but it's gonna be hard for me to do all these things and still be able to bring donuts to our meetings every month. And coffee." Healy sighs.
"Well, we tried." Taystee chuckles.
"Oh well." Maria says.
"It all good." Chang nods.
"Get out there." Healy laughs. The girls leave.
Piper is confused and catches up to Taystee. "What just happened?" Piper asks.
"You were there." Taystee replies.
"We finally get an opportunity to make some improvements around here and nothing?" Piper mutters.
"Don't be gettin' all Amistad on me, Chapman. Healy look like he gunning for change…" Taystee replies.
"Okay, but what about your campaign promises? You promised your girls a lot." Piper asks.
"Everyone say shit to get elected. You ain't actually gotta do it. That's politics. I ain't looking to make waves. Glassy water. Smooth sailin' 'till I'm right on out of here." Taystee explains.
"So this whole WAC thing really is bullshit." Piper sighs.
"Just take the donuts, girl." Taystee giggles.
Larry goes to his parent's house to see his mother, Amy and his father, Howard and asks him to find out if Alex named Piper.
"You want to know if she fingered her? I think that's been established." Howard says.
"Please, Dad. No jokes. I can't take it right now." Larry sighs.
"Howard, leave him alone." Amy says.
"You leave me alone." Howard says.
"Larry, have you weatherized yet? I know it looks tacky, but if you put up the plastic, you'll save a lot of money on heating. Those windows are very old." Amy explains.
"I'm going to, Mom. And I'm sorry I'm late with the rent." Larry sighs.
"It's all right. As long as you take care of us when we're dying." Amy says.
"Though you might want to think about getting a job at some point." Howard says.
"He has a job. He's a writer. All it takes is one article." Amy says.
"For what? To get paid 50 bucks?" Howard scoffs.
"To lead to bigger things. You have any projects you're working on?" Amy asks.
"Yes, Mom, thank you. As a matter of fact, I do. I'm working on an article right now." Larry smiles confidently.
"What's it about?" Amy asks.
"It's a trend piece, about something called edging. It's when you have sex or masturbate without coming." Larry reveals.
"Without coming? That sounds unhealthy. A man needs to come. Larry, tell me you're coming." Amy says.
Larry is embarrassed and rolls his eyes. "I shouldn't have said anything." Larry sighs.
"Howard, tell Larry he needs to come. You could get blocked up!" Amy says with worry.
"I'll tell him." Howard says.
"Listen to your father. You two want some soup? The girl made soup." Amy mutters.
"Soup would be nice." Howard says.
"I'm fine. Thank you." Larry says.
"I'll get for both of you." Amy insists and goes to the kitchen.
"Dad, please. I know you don't like Piper, but I'm asking you to help me." Larry begs.
"Who said I don't like her? I like her. She's the nicest felon you've ever dated." Howard says.
"Stop." Larry says.
"I just think she's a bit wispy. I thought you'd end up with someone more substantial." Howard sighs.
"Are you talking about her moral character or the size of her breasts?" Larry asks.
"Please. I'm an ass man." Howard chuckles.
"Trust me, he's an ass man." Amy shouts from the kitchen.
"You asked about her girlfriend?" Howard asks as he reads the case file.
"Ex-girlfriend." Larry corrects him.
"I have looked over the indictment." Howard reveals.
"And?" Larry asks with anticipation.
"It states that, unequivocally, Alex Vause gave her name." Howard reveals.
"Good. Thank you." Larry sighs with relief.
"Good? How is that good?" Howard asks.
"It's good that Piper'll know for sure. And she'll hate her more, so she'll stay away from her." Larry says.
"Listen, Larry, don't tell her." Howard warns.
"Why?" Larry asks.
"Prison is a fishbowl, son. The last thing she needs is an enemy to obsess over, do something stupid out of anger. She should serve her time and leave without any trouble." Howard explains.
"I'm not gonna lie to my fiancée." Larry scoffs.
"Why not?" Howard scoffs back.
"Because our relationship doesn't work that way." Larry insists,
"Oh, yes, yes. It's based on trust and honesty. Even though she neglected to tell you that she's in there with this Alex until now?" Howard says.
"Okay, first of all, it's only been not even three weeks, and she didn't want to tell me because she didn't want me to get upset." Larry explains.
"So, why should you upset her?" Howard asks.
"No. No. I'm not gonna lie to protect her like she's some helpless thing, okay? Honesty is the best policy. I really believe that." Larry scoffs.
"Larry, remember all those special achievement ribbons you earned as a child?" Howard asks.
"Yeah." Larry mutters.
"You notice how there was never a public ceremony? You did win that one for tidiest cubby in preschool. But the truth is overrated. My advice, keep her focused on her life outside, her business, her friends. The wedding. Whether or not you actually go through with it." Howard explains.
"Here, Larry. Eat your soup. You're the best soup eater in America." Amy smiles and places a bowl of soup down for him. Larry wonders what to tell Piper and he puts his head down and eats his soup.
Meanwhile, Red goes into Healy's office to question him. "Healy!" she grunts.
"Red, take a seat." Healy says.
"What the hell is going on? How did that blonde bimbo, win W.A.C.? There is no way my girl was outvoted by some newbie." Red scoffs.
"Red, I don't know what to tell ya. I just read what was on the piece of paper." Healy says.
"That's bullshit and you know it! I know you are behind this and you are a good man, so I trust you know what you're doing. But going behind my back and not even telling me, it was humiliating. What's your angle?" Red demands.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Chapman came to me with some great ideas, she wanted to take a stand or whatever so she ran I guess and maybe somehow she convinced others to vote for her too." Healy lies.
"I really am disappointed in you Healy, I hope you know what your doing." Red scoffs and storms out.
Healy is saddened that Red is mad at him, he knows rigging the election was wrong but he did what he believed was right.
~Flashback~
~Red partners with the mob~
Red was sitting having coffee with Ganya and the Russians and they are talking about a trip he went on. "We had fun as usual." Ganya laughs. "It couldn't be any other way. The music was beautiful, the weather was great. We had a lot of fun." Ganya continues as Dmitri enters with a produce crate and is surprised to see Ganya and his men sitting with Red. "Dmitri. So good to see you." Ganya says.
"Good to see you too. I didn't know to expect you." Dmitri says and goes to sit with them.
"Wait a minute, you've got to have some Khalva back there or something, no? Something sweet for us? To go with the coffee?" Ganya asks.
Dmitri freezes and looks at Red, expecting her to do it but she just gives him an intimidating look. "Of course. I'll do it now, right away." Dmitri sighs and walks to the kitchen, filled with jealousy.
"Anyway, our guy looked into the government contracts thing. Schools, prisons, hospitals." Ganya begins.
"Yeah?" Red says.
"Looks like we'll be able to work something out." He reveals and Red smiles. "Thank you for the idea, Galina." Ganya smiles and he shakes her hand. "And don't worry about the tit punch, all is forgiven now. You have made things right. Even though Marina won't keep her mouth shut about it but do not worry, you have nothing to worry about. I will keep her quiet, I promise." Ganya assures her. Red worries something bad will happen but she smiles and cheers' him as they become business partners.
~End of flashback~
In the laundry, Pennsatucky is complaining with rage to her followers about Piper winning the W.A.C. and Alex is working in the laundry to and listens in on the rant. "Can you believe her? That college bitch thinks she can come up in here and take charge of shit with her nice teeth and her pinky stuck up in the air. Well she's got a surprise coming." Tiffany grunts.
"Is it a pony?" Alex asks sarcastically.
"Just shut your trap, Lurch. Nobody cares what's comin' outta them slit lickin' lips." Tiffany grunts. Her followers laughs. "Did you vote for her?" Tiffany asks.
"No." Amelia Addams, one of her followers whimper.
"Did you vote for her? Angie? Loretta? Leanne? Who voted for that bitch, raise your hand! Huh? Raise it!" she demands but her followers back down. "That's what I thought. Some Garden-of-Gethsemane shit up in here, y'all. Chapman is a Judas Iscariot, cozied on up to the High Priest Healy. And he throws out my vote. My votes that were bestowed upon me from my Lord, and gives her all the silver?" Tiffany shouts with rage, kicking laundry trollies and throwing sheets.
"So in this analogy, you're Jesus Christ?" Alex asks with confusion.
"I've been betrayed." Tiffany says. Alex smirks and rolls her eyes. "You know, I saw that bitch heading on over to Healy's office, looking guilty as fuck. Guess suckin' dick's a little easier than honest hard work." Tiffany grunts.
"I feel sorry for her." Leanne mutters.
Tiffany glares at Leanne. "You're right, Leanne. Compassion is what we got over the monkeys. You know what, though? Compassion ain't gonna help this girl learn the way of things. I learned, we all learned. And that is that you have get broken down to get raised back up!" Tiffany explains.
"You know, I'm with you, hon. Really. She's Waspy and entitled and always asking if you have this in whole grain, she's got the Bambi shtick going on, I get all of it. But I'm gonna need you to shut the fuck up about her and get over your shit." Alex snaps with irritation.
"Or what Lurch? Huh?" Tiffany says.
Alex scoffs and lifts her glasses. "Or I will fuck you." Alex says and pushes Tiffany into the corner. "Literally. I will sneak into your bunk in the middle of the night and I'll lick your pussy." Alex begins. Tiffany is disgusted and uncomfortable. "And I will do it so good and so soft that you're gonna be on the edge of coming by the time you wake up, and then I'll stop. And you'll be half asleep and you'll beg for it. Oh, you will beg for it. And maybe I'll be nice, and maybe I won't, but if I am nice? The things you feel? They will ruin you forever. So, you know, choose." Alex chuckles and walks off leaving Tiffany feeling dirty and offended.
Sophia is in the salon sweeping and Sister Jane comes to the door. "Still open?" she asks. Sophia nods and Sister Jane enters and sits. "In some tribal cultures, the transgender person is regarded as a shaman." Sister Jane says.
"Trying to convert me to paganism now?" Sophia mutters.
"Whatever works." Sister Jane sighs.
"That's not a very Catholic thing to say." Sophia says.
"I'm not here as a Catholic, I'm here as a friend." Sister Jane assures her.
"I'll cut your hair. But I ain't giving you no confession. I already know how I feel…" Sophia sighs and places the broom down and places a hair sheet over Sister Jane. "I let 'em down." She sighs.
"You're still here. And the best thing you can do for them is be strong. Inside. You already have the Playboy body." Sister Jane says.
"What are you doing reading Playboy?" Sophia smiles.
"Oh, I read everything." Sister Jane chuckles.
"Why did God have to give me that stupid penis?" Sophia tears up.
"I don't know. Any more than I know why he gave men nipples. There are mysteries. And as a Catholic, I enjoy them. The mysteries, that is." Sister Jane explains.
"Well, I enjoy the nipples." Sophia smiles. They laugh.
"I'm sorry, Sophia." Sister Jane says.
"I'm sorry too. But I'm back on my regular hormones now. So it all worked out. I'm sorry for wasting your time." Sophia sighs.
"Wasting my time? Honey, we're friends now." Sister Jane says.
"We're friends?" Sophia smiles.
"Of course dear." Sister Jane smiles.
"Thank you." Sophia smiles.
Later Red is in the kitchen peeling potatoes and Mendez interrupts. "You need something?" Red scoffs.
"Now, if it was me, I think I'd leave the grunt work to the grunts." Mendez mutters.
"Hmm. I let the girls do this, half the potato comes off with the peel." Red explains.
"Seems to me like you're just aching to put that down for a few and make me a sandwich." Mendez says.
"Not particularly." Red mutters. Mendez gets out his notebook and begins to write her a shot. "What kind?" she asks.
"Balogna and cheese. No mustard. Double the mayo." He explains. She rolls her eyes and begins to make him a sandwich. "Oh, this is just great." He chuckles. "This makes me very happy." He adds and draws a smiley face. She scoffs. "See? You didn't want to do it at first, right? But, now, I'm happy, and it's no big deal for you." Mendez says.
"What do you want?" she asks.
"I wanna be friends. Friends who take care of each other." Mendez grins.
"Right." She scoffs.
"You got boxes coming in with a little something extra. Your business is getting in the way of my business, I don't like competition sweet cheeks." He begins.
"I'm going to stop you right there. There is nothing here. You got nothing on me." She grunts.
He walks over to a box and retrieves a bag of electric toothbrushes. "Oh, gosh! This prize sure beats the heck out of a decoder ring." He gasps mockingly.
"What can I say? The girls are very concerned about their oral hygiene." Red sighs.
"Maybe your guy gets with my guy and brings in something extra for me." Mendez asks.
"No problem. Just tell me if you want zit cream or pantyhose." Red asks.
"What my guy sends, it's a little more of a specialty item." Mendez hints.
"Since when are pills so special?" Red scoffs.
"Give you 5%." He offers.
Red chuckles. "What am I supposed to do with 5%? Burn it for heat? My commissary maxes out at $300 and I got all the toothpaste I need." Red sighs.
"Fine. 10% then." He offers.
She chuckles. "I don't do that shit!" Red grunts.
"This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit! It doesn't matter what you do. It's the doing that makes you dirty." Mendez snaps.
"I'm sorry, I can't help you." Red says.
"Don't play games with me, Red." He grunts.
"You got no more moves, Mendez. This is it, man. Game over." Red mutters.
"Oh, man! You know it was getting too risky for me to keep bringing the pills in and last time I was asking but now, I'm telling! You have my full attention. You will regret this, Red…" he grunts and tips out a tub of rice. Red scoffs. "Guess things just got messy in here." He says and storms out with his sandwich.
~Flashback!
~Red works with the mob~
One day Red is handling Neptune's produce – The Russian men's vendor – boxes into a truck, which is heading to schools, prisons and hospitals all over the area.
"So is it just produce in the boxes?" Red asks.
"Sometimes we take special orders. Why?" Ganya asks.
"Just curious. Be careful if it's drugs." Red laughs.
Ganya laughs too. "It's fine, Galina thanks again for helping us out." Ganya say.
"It's a pleasure. Just don't forget my cut." Red smiles.
"Yes." Ganya laughs. Suddenly a customer enters the store. "Quick, go." Red panics and shoos the Russian men off in a hurry and goes to serve the customer, unaware the men left a box behind.
~End of flashback~
Piper then goes to make a call and as always, at the phone beside her, there is a weeping woman inmate, named Rhonda Gerrman. Piper was expecting to see Larry tomorrow but he has cancelled.
"You can't leave me alone with my mother." Piper gasps.
"I promised your brother I'd help him fix the roof of his trailer." Larry explains.
"I need a buffer! Why can't you just come and visit me every single waking moment that you're allowed to and make your life all about me?" Piper says innocently.
"Piper, we talked about this, okay? Visits every other week, so I can have a life. You said that. These are your words." Larry replies.
"But I'm an idiot." Piper sighs.
"Okay, here's the game, you remember every rude thing she says, all right? And then next time I'm there, we will rank them in order from kind of crazy to truly bat-shit bananas. It'll be fun! Come on, Piper. I can't cancel. He's living under a tarp." Larry explains.
"Jesus. When is he gonna get his shit together?" Piper gasps.
Larry chuckles. "I'm not sure that Cal gets the "family fuck-up" title anymore." He says. Piper sighs. "You okay, Pipes?" Larry asks as he begins to unpack groceries.
"Are those groceries I hear?" Piper asks.
"Yes." Larry replies.
"But you forgot to bring the bags." Piper says with worry.
"Uh, I did, but I'm gonna eat the bag later, so don't worry. Planet is safe." Larry jokes.
"Did you go to Whole Foods? What did you get?" Piper asks.
"A bunch of stuff." Larry mutters.
"No, no, no. Be specific. Tell me everything. In detail. Just take me away." Piper sighs.
"Okay, um, I got some crispy snap peas, I got some cherry juice for my smoothies." Larry begins.
"Oh, God, smoothies." Piper gasps.
"Then some purple kale, Uncle Eddie's vegan cookies." Larry continues.
"Oh, I can feel them in my mouth." Piper sighs.
"Then I got, um, you know, those bulk roasted almonds. You know, with the sugar coating on the top?" Larry continues.
"Yeah, yeah, the crack almonds." Piper smiles.
"The crack almonds. Right. And, uh, well, then I got some heirloom tomatoes. Last of the season, you know? Super plump and ripe. Engorged almost. With some wet, juicy buffalo mozzarella. And some sweet, sweet-ass organic blueberries." Larry says in a seductive tone.
"Mmm." Piper moans at the thought of the food.
"My cock is hard. And I'm rubbing it against your ass." Larry says.
Piper is startled, embarrassed. "What? What?" she gasps.
"What?" he asks with confusion.
"Are you trying to have phone sex with me?" Piper whispers.
"I thought that's what we were…Ugh, I'm confused." Larry sighs.
"There are guards listening. They sit in a bubble and they listen." Piper explains.
"I'm sure people do it all the time." Larry says.
"And there's a woman weeping next to me." Piper says awkwardly.
"Okay. Well, I'm just gonna go jerk off then. For the 500th time today." Larry sighs.
"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry." Piper sighs.
"No, it's okay. I'm, uh I'm reliving my youth. I'm 14 again." Larry laughs.
"Have you found out if Alex named me?" Piper asks.
Larry is silent. "I haven't heard back from him yet." He lies, trying to stall.
"Okay, well…I love you." Piper smiles.
Larry sighs. "I love your little boobs." He says.
Down the hall, Alex and Nicky get even closer then before. They have developed a flirtatious relationship. They are giggling and joking around. They almost kiss.
Piper is walking down the hall and almost witnesses this but is stopped by Pennsatucky. "Gonna go and bounce on daddy's lap?" Tiffany asks referring to Mr Healy.
"I'm sorry, who are you?" Piper asks.
"The name's Tiffany Doggett, some call me Pennsatucky. I just want to know, how'd you do it?" Tiffany demands.
"What did I do now?" Piper asks.
"Don't be all cute, college. Have you seen my teeth? Like, really?" Tiffany says and shows off her horrible messed up teeth.
"Wow. They're…" Piper begins.
"Pretty fucked up, huh?" Tiffany asks.
"Yeah." Piper says.
"Genetics mostly." Tiffany reveals.
"Oh." Piper sighs.
"But my cousin, she's doin' and she got a whole new set from the United States of America, D-O-C." Tiffany reveals.
"Congratulations." Piper says with confusion.
"So it's fine that you're teacher's pet and all, but let's, like, see what you can do." Tiffany says.
Piper is confused. "You want new teeth?" she asks with confusion. Tiffany stares at her. "Oh! Because of W.A.C.!" Piper says with realisation.
"Yeah." Tiffany nods.
"The thing is, I don't think I can. It's not even a real thing." Piper tries to explain.
"You think you're some kind of special, don't you?" Tiffany scoffs.
"No, I'm serious. It's a scam. Which, when you think about it, we really all should've seen coming." Piper tries to explain some more.
Tiffany rolls her eyes. "Let me tell you something, college. They're gonna treat you nice and they're gonna use you. Then when you're all used up, you ain't gonna be nothin'. You know, god came to me and he gave me a message, he told me that you have sinned. And to make things right, you need to get Mr Healy to appreciate my religious freedom and get the chapel open." Tiffany says.
"I…can try." Piper sighs.
"Don't try…just do it. You sellin' us out? For what?" Tiffany scoffs and walks off.
Piper remains confused and thinking 'What the fuck was that?'
Norma is later in the bathroom shaving Red's legs and Morello sits by Red's side and pouts. "I really liked Chapman. How could she do this to me!" she cries.
Red rolls her eyes. "Christ! Shut up Lorna! You and I both know that Piper isn't behind this." Red scoffs.
"But…who would do this?" Morello cries.
"Someone who favourites her or is using her for something. The W.A.C. is a bunch of bullshit anyway. Nothing would have changed even if you had won. Now stop crying to me about this and pull yourself together. Chapman did not do this to hurt you or hurt anyone. I don't think she asked for this at all. I don't particular like her but I respect her." Red mutters.
"Maybe you're right…" Morello sobs.
"Of course I am. Now stop with the jealousy and get over it. You're a strong girl Lorna, you can get past this." Red says.
Morello wipes away her tears and nods. "Thank you, Red." She cries and hugs Red before leaving.
Red sighs with relief. Peace and quiet. Norma smiles at her.
~Flashback~
~Dmitri worries for Galina~
After Red closes the store, Dmitri enters. "Galya, can I talk to you?" he asks.
"What is it?" Red asks.
"I'm worried – scared for you. I overheard those men saying that Ganya's wife is blabbing all over about the tit punch and I'm scared it will come back to bite you." Dmitri says with worry.
"Ugh, Dimi, stop. I'm fine. Ganya assured me." Red sighs.
"I don't think getting involved with those men is a good idea Galina. These are very powerful men." Dmitri says.
"You're just jealous! You're jealous they chose me to help with heir business and you're jealous that they liked my ideas! Dmitri, when we got married you told me that one day, I feel truly appreciated by the powerful people. And now, I feel that power. So don't try to stop me from blossoming. I'm doing this for the both of us you idiot!" Red explains.
"I just…want you to be careful Galina." He sighs and hugs her.
"I am fine!" she says confidently.
~End of Flashback~
Bennett is walking down the hall and he sees Daya. He blushes and goes to approach her but Aleida pulls her away.
"What are you doing?" Daya grunts.
"No, what the fuck are you doing? I know you have been fucking that officer Bennett." Aleida snaps.
"What? No I haven't." Daya says.
"No? But you want to. Look Daya, you can talk to me…I am your mother. I'm only trying to look out for you. And I know that if you go through with this you are gonna get hurt and you're a bigger dumbass than me." Aleida sighs. Daya is silent and doesn't know what to say. "Daya, I'm sorry. I am. But please listen to me. I got a sixth sense, and I know that this guy is a player. So please listen to me Daya. Do not fall in love." Aleida says.
"I won't. Just leave me alone." Daya sighs with denial and walks off.
Mendez is walking down the hall and he passes by Sophia. "Hey, Bursett!" he grunts and stops. Sophia rolls her eyes and approaches him. "I heard you've been looking for something. Change your mind about that Egg McMuffin?" Mendez whispers.
"I don't know what you heard. I got my pills back. I think you've got the wrong girl." Sophia assures him and walks off. Mendez rolls his eyes and scoffs.
Piper goes to Mr Healy's office to talk to him about W.A.C. "Mr Healy?" she says.
"Chapman. Sit down." He says. Piper closes the door and sits down. "What can I do for you?" he asks.
"Sir, I just…I was wondering why you chose me for the W.A.C. I mean, I didn't even run." Piper asks.
"Let me make something clear. You came to me with great ideas and I thought you would appreciate it more. I was hoping you'd be more grateful." He says.
"Oh no, sir, I am grateful but you see I am now one of the most hated inmates here…" Piper begins. Healy laughs. "No seriously. The girls hate me. They think I got this position by…sucking dick – your dick to be exact…" Piper reveals.
"Chapman, the girls do not "hate" you…they are just sore losers. Rumours are rumours and nothing more. You won. They didn't." Healy sighs.
"Yes but what do I tell those who keep asking me how I won?" Piper asks.
"You tell them, you had a lot of great ideas and obviously someone thought you were the better candidate." Healy says.
"Okay. But you see, Lorna – Morello, she had her heart set on this spot and she was so nice to me when I got here and now she thinks I betrayed her." Piper sighs.
"Chapman please. I don't think you understand what I said. These girls will stay angry or jealous for five seconds and then it will be water under the bridge. It will be old news." Healy explains.
"Okay." She sighs.
"Okay. Now, get out there." He says. Piper smiles politely and leaves the office.
In the recreation room, inmates gather and go over their new W.A.C. representatives.
"Don't be yellow, vote for Morello." Morello sighs to Nicky. "That's what I was gonna use as my slogan." She continues and puts her head on Nicky's shoulder.
"My friends, we may be incarcerated, but that does not mean we're not entitled to fair treatment and access to comprehensive medical care. So please, Miss Jefferson help us!" Sophia says to Taystee.
"Tuesdays, pizza? Fuck pizza, we're gonna have Tuesday tacos. Tacos, burritos, hot salsa and everything!" Maria explains.
"Hi, ladies I know most of y'all know me as Tiffany. Only a few as Pennsatucky. We're gonna leave it that way. I know I didn't win but I plan on passing messages through that blonde college bitch until our voices are heard!" Tiffany cheers.
"I had hoped you all would allow me to lead you, Taystee, in addition to letting me do your weave at a discount!" Sophia smiles.
Taystee giggles. "As lady president, I'll demand waterbeds for everybody. We'll be dreamin' like Beyoncé on a yacht every night up in here. Comprehensive that, bitches!" Taystee laughs.
Piper shakes her head as watches from the doorway and Miss Claudette joins her. "Well, this is a surprise." Piper says referring to miss Claudette being out and about.
"Best entertainment you could hope for around here." Claudette reveals.
"You know, I'm surprised the Admin is actually letting this happen." Piper says.
"Those boys have awfully short memories. White girl who won last time got slocked when she asked the commissary to stock unsalted potato chips instead of salt and vinegar. It's not a job you want." Claudette reveals.
"Slocked?" Piper asks.
"Padlock in a sock and whacked!" Claudette says.
"As y'all know, I am a follower of Jesus Christ, my Lord and my Saviour. And he wants us to spread his word. With force, if necessary. I'll make that college bitch handle our shit alright!" Tiffany cheers. Piper rolls her eyes.
"You do have to admire their effort. Every damn inmate is here." Claudette says.
"Yeah. I'll see you later." Piper says and walks off.
Nicky sees Piper leaving and follows her. "I'll be back." She says to Morello.
"Furthermuch, why don't we have Ultra Sheen in the commissary?" Taystee cheers.
"Why?" Poussey adds.
"You ask me, that shit is racist!" Taystee cheers.
"Fucking racist." Poussey adds.
"Why you gotta hate black folks?" Taystee continues.
"Why?" Poussey adds as backup.
"In closing, let's get some motherfucking fried chicken up in here once in a while! Oh, yeah! Yeah, I said it." Taystee cheers.
"She said it." Poussey adds.
"I'm black." Taystee says.
"She's black." Poussey repeats.
"And she black." Taystee say referring to Poussey.
"I'm black!" Poussey cheers.
"And we like fried chicken. That shit is delicious. Everybody likes it. Chicken for the people. I rest my case." Taystee laughs as the inmates cheer.
"Well, I say we should have a "whites only" bathroom!" Tiffany cheers.
"This ain't the fuckin' Help, bitch, but you will eat my shit." Taystee grunts at Pennsatucky's racism.
The inmates then create a circle as they begin to play music as Taystee and Poussey start a rap battle. "Oh! They call me Taystee 'cause my pussy be delicious -Like an apple it's nutritious - Like a Clinton it's ambitious - You wanna mess with all that? Bitch, please - You's a gnat, you'll go splat - Best be runnin', stat!" Taystee sings.
Leanne Taylor then steps up, "Yeah? Well. Yo, yo My name is Leanne and I got game - We're here in Litchfield and it's kind of lame - This rapping thing don't seem so hard - Ain't like I'm a fucking retard!"
Poussey then steps in, "Fucking dumbass cracka - Should just smack ya - Think you own Jesus? Turns out he was black - The word is ironic Me? I'm deep like Atlantis - Rhyming some chronic shit then pray like a mantis - Matter of fact I'm so done with your white trash ass - Just 'cause you got little tits don't mean you got class." Poussey sings as the crowd cheers.
"Oh! That's my shit!" Suzanne cheers.
The music continues as the girls have a dance battle. "Who wants a piece of Big Boo?" Boo laughs and she dances the in the middle of the circle before dragging Chang in and daggering with her.
Suzanne then enters the circle and mimics herself masturbating and daggers with Big Boo. The dance then becomes way out of hand with all the inmates.
"That's enough!" Officer Bell grunts and turns off the music.
Piper later is then confronted by Nicky. "Chapman!" she mutters.
"Nicky." Piper sighs.
"How'd you do it? Huh? How'd you win?" Nicky asks.
"Nicky, you're a smart girl. You know I never ran for W.A.C. It's a bunch of bullshit." Piper explains.
"Yeah, well it was Lorna's bunch of bullshit. Why'd you have to take that away from her?" Nicky asks.
"Nicky, I'm sorry. I never wanted to be apart of it at all." Piper assures her.
"Yeah? Well you better start thinking of ways to make it right." Nicky scoffs and walks off.
Later that day, Red is alone in the kitchen and Miss Claudette enters. "We were starting to think you deserted us." Red says.
"I have just been tired." Claudette replies.
"I tried making that coconut cake myself. Nicky called it "coco-not."" Red chuckles.
"What pain did you bring down on her for that?" Claudette laughs.
"She was right. Your cake is inimitable." Red says. Claudette is impressed by Red's choice of words. "Norma got me an improve-your-vocabulary book out of the library. You got to keep the brain cells working, or they die." Red explains.
"To be honest, there's a few things I wouldn't mind forgetting." Claudette sighs.
"Norma saw you in the library, bent over a romance novel like a boy hiding a titty magazine." Red says.
"I got interests beyond coconut cake." Claudette says.
"So does every idiot in here." Red chuckles.
"Where's my Mexican vanilla?" Claudette asks.
"Oh. Everything off the books lives like Anne Frank now." Red whispers and retrieves a bottle of Mexican Vanilla from the paper towel dispenser.
"Seems like a lot of trouble." Claudette sighs with worry.
"You get too comfortable, people take advantage." Red says referring to Pornstache.
"You got it under control?" Claudette asks.
"Don't go looking for miracles, Claudette. You and me, we figured out how to do time. We just can't let power get to heads." Red says sighs.
~Flashback~
~Red gets arrested~
One night, Red was running the store by herself and suddenly she is interrupted by police officers, "Galina Reznikov?" the officer asks.
"Yes?" Red asks with worry.
"We have a search warrant." The officer continues.
"What's this about?" Red asks.
"It's concerning the store being connected to any affiliation with the Mafia." The officer explains.
Red nervously watches, praying she has nothing to worry about, she spots a Neptune's box that must've been left behind. She worries something incriminating is in there.
"All clear." An officer says, leaving the store isles, looking in the box. Red is relieved.
"Wait. I found something!" Another officer says from inside the freezer. They find the chopped up, bagged, body parts that Ganya had stored there a while ago. Red's face fills with fear.
Red's husband rushes in and tries to stop them. "No. Stop. We're innocent!" Dmitri begs. Red doesn't want to snitch on anyone. "She didn't do it!" Dmitri pleads as Red is placed into handcuffs.
"It's okay honey. You don't need to protect me. I run the Russian mafia. I confess. It's all me. I'm one bad bitch!" Red shouts.
"Galina?" Dmitri asks.
"Take care of the boys, Dimi." Red sighs. Dmitri cries as Red is then taken away.
~End of flashback~
Episode Seven:
The Mother I Never Had
Piper is in her cube pacing back and forwards – wondering how she will get the girls to like her again and make things right with Morello. She then smiles with an idea. Piper goes to the commissary and she plans on using commissary to make the girls happy.
She buys some skittles for Nicky. "What's this for?" Nicky asks.
"It's a peace offering. I don't want to be the most hated inmate around here anymore." Piper sighs.
"Have you spoken to Lorna?" Nicky asks.
Piper smiles. "Nope, but I have something special for her." Piper grins and walks away and finds Morello.
"Morello." Piper smiles.
"Oh…hi Chapman…" Morello mutters.
"I have something for you. I made them myself." Piper begins and reveals she had made a custom set of hair curlers for Morello. "And I'm sorry about the W.A.C." Piper continues.
"Oh my gosh, Chapman. Thank you. Thank you. I love them." Morello smiles. All seems to be forgiven.
Piper then goes to the salon and gets Sophia to do her hair for her, wanting to look good for when her mother comes for mother's day tomorrow.
"My mother wouldn't come see me in a million years." Sophia sighs.
"Well, I guess I should be grateful but really…she is a constant headache reminding me of how disappointed she is in me." Piper sighs.
"Well…I guess we should all just smile and be thankful for our mothers for making us." Sophia laughs.
At dinner, Gloria is sitting with the Spanish girls and they are talking about mother's day. "It's not fair, I won't even get to see my baby tomorrow." Maritza sighs.
"What for?" Flaca asks.
"Cause, my sister is taking her with her to see our mother." Maritza sighs.
"Ay, I'm not gonna be seeing my kids either. For another year in a row. Man, its getting ridiculous. It feels like forever. But they moved, like three hours away. Fucking shit. Kids gotta grow up without a mother. I've been in here for almost seven years. I am missing my child's life." Gloria says and begins to cry.
"Ay, I feel for you. No mother should go through that." Aleida says.
"Like it's the same? Your kids are coming to see you, I bet." Flaca says. Aleida rolls her eyes.
"Shit. I'm not even a fucking mother yet but when this baby comes, Yadriel is gonna take good care of it and make sure I am apart of it's life until I am out of here." Maria scoffs.
"Then you can live happily ever after…" Aleida mocks her.
"Yeah like you've been pregnant for like a thousand years now." Flaca laughs.
"Fuck you. I've been in here for four months. The baby has like two months left before it even decides to pop out. But fuck, I tell you it does feel like a thousand years." Maria reveals.
"Aw, guys…guess what, Aleida gets the perfect mothers day cause she's in here with Daya." Maritza says.
Aleida is silent and becomes nervous. "Yeah." Aleida says and she casually leaves the group.
Sophia and Sister Ingalls sit together and have developed a sweet friendship. "Are you open to religion?" Sister Jane asks.
"I don't know. I thought I made it clear." Sophia sighs.
"Are you sure? I could show you the way. Guide you through it. Slowly." Sister Jane says.
"Maybe." Sophia says.
Pennsatucky overhears this and interrupts them. "You know, me and my friends have already got a plan in motion to get that chapel program reopened. Hopefully that college bitch plays a part too." Tiffany claims.
"Oh. That's nice dear." Sister Jane says.
"Yeah it is nice but I couldn't help but overhear – you wanna convert the she-hulk here, to religion?" Tiffany scoffs referring to Sophia. Sophia clenches her fists.
"Oh. Listen, I think you need to walk away now." Sister Jane says.
"Yeah you're right, I've done wasted enough of my time talking to y'all anyway." Tiffany mutters and walks off.
In the bathroom, Nicky and Alex are talking about Mothers day. "It's a waste of time. I mean who the fuck came up with the idea of dedicating a whole day to a mom." Nicky scoffs.
"I know. It's like birthday's for vehicles." Alex laughs.
"Your mom coming tomorrow?" Nicky asks.
"No. My mom's dead." Alex reveals and tries not to cry.
"Oh shit. I'm sorry." Nicky says and hugs Alex. "You know, that's fucked up. I mean, no kid is better off without a mom but I never really had a mother around, more of a nanny of housekeeper." Nicky says and they hug again.
"It sucks. I loved my mother. I just wish I told her more." Alex sighs.
"Yeah, well we can't keep living in regret, right? I mean my mother and I…we don't see eye-to-eye." Nicky scoffs. It's a touchy subject for her.
"Your mom is still alive. There's still time to fix it." Alex says.
"Yeah maybe…but probably fuckin not…" Nicky sighs.
~Flashback~
~Nicky gets released from rehab~
A few years ago, Nicky was staying at her mom's place for a while after just getting out of rehab.
Nicky is on the phone to her mother, Marka who is out with her boyfriend. "So what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just sit here? Alone?" Nicky mutters.
"Nicky, I got you out of rehab and I am letting you stay at my house. I am not going to baby you, Nicky. You need to get your shit together." Marka says.
"Right. I'm a fuckup." Nicky sighs.
"Oh and don't do drugs in my house, Nicky. I mean it." Marka adds. Nicky scoffs and she hangs up the phone. Nicky is upset her mother won't come home and comfort her like a real mother, but this isn't news to her – her mother has never been there for her.
Nicky goes upstairs and raids her mother's medicine cabinet and she swallows a hand full of random pills hoping to just end it all.
~End of flashback~
Mendez is in his C.O. bubble and Tricia Miller, one of Red's girls, approach's him. "Yo. You got my shit?" She asks.
"It's comin'." Mendez mutters.
"My cousin paid you for that shit. Ain't it supposed to come in today?" Tricia asks.
"Listen, powder. If you speak to me again, I will fucking crush you. It's coming. Chill out. I got another job for you but, I've got some shit coming and I need you to sell it around the yard for me." Mendez replies.
"Alright. It's all cool yo." Tricia says and she walks off.
"Fucking freak." Mendez mutters to himself referring to Tricia's cornrows and her unusual neck tattoo.
Aleida goes to Daya's cube and she tries to be nice to Daya – regardless of having plans to screw with Daya's romance with Officer Bennett – and she sits beside Daya on the bed. "It's mother's day tomorrow." Aleida says.
"Yeah. It is." Daya sighs.
"What's the matter with you?" Aleida asks.
"I'm just upset. I've been keeping distant from Bennett and I don't know what to think and it's all your fault." Daya reveals.
"Bennett? The guard? So I was right. You were fucking him. Daya, I'm sorry. But men are pigs don't fall in love baby." Aleida sighs.
Daya tears up – hating to admit her mother may be right. "I just want to be happy." Daya sobs.
"Come here." Aleida says and hugs her daughter. They embrace and the others walk in and become jealous of the sweet moment that Daya and Aleida are having and they wish they could embrace their mother's and children.
That night, Red calls Nicky to the kitchen. "Everything okay?" Nicky asks.
"Shhh…" Red whispers. Nicky goes closer to Red to avoid whispering. "I called you here because I need your help." Red begins.
"Help with what?" Nicky asks.
"I need you to help me take Mendez down." Red reveals.
Nicky rolls her eyes. "Red. Ma, we've been over this. Pornstache isn't a problem. He's keeping his mouth shut." Nicky says.
"No. Nicky listen to me. Mendez is dangerous. He is plotting something! He is going to come after me, after all of us. He is bringing in something bad and I need you to help me stop him. I need you to help me keep my girls safe." Red say with concerns. Nicky rolls her eyes. "Nicky, please. I've always done right by you. Please, help me." Red begs.
Nicky rolls her eyes again. "Fine. Better safe than sorry right?" she laughs.
"Oh! Thank you Nicky!" Red says and hugs her.
"I'll do my best to protect the girls. I'll talk to them. And Oh, you know how you said you wanna protect your girls, cause you want the best for them right? Well if I was chosen for W.A.C. I would have won rather than to have Morello lose." Nicky says.
"Nicky…you know it's not Chapman's fault." Red mutters.
"I know. I know. We're all good. I was just saying." Nicky comments.
"Have you had a shower?" Red asks.
"Yeah. I had a nice long soak in the tub." Nicky says sarcastically.
"Alright. Go again and scrub. You smell ripe. But I love you. Thank you." Red says.
Nicky smiles and walks away.
~Flashback~
~Nicky's failed suicide attempt~
After swallowing random pills, Nicky passed out in the bathtub.
Hours later when Nicky wakes up she seems to be disappointed she isn't dead. "What? Ah, shit!" she grunts as she stands up and walks over to the sink. "Alright…" she sighs and she retrieves a razor and cuts her wrist. She cries as she watches it bleed. She waits a few minutes and when nothing happens she screams, "Ah! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Just fucking let me die! Why won't you let me die, god? Huh?" she screams and smashes the bathroom mirror. She cries into the sink for a few moments.
Nicky then wraps up the cuts and heads downstairs. She opens her mom's liquor cabinet and grabs a few bottles. She puts them in her backpack and leaves a suicide note on her mom's fridge, which says;
"Fuck life! I wasn't meant to be here. Sorry I'm such a disappointment, at least you can be happy with me gone out of your life. I'll see you in hell Marka. – Nicky."
Nicky then leaves her mother's house.
~End of flashback~
In the recreation room, Tiffany gathers her girls and anyone else willing to join, into Rec Room. Where she plans on giving the girls a speech about the true background to Mothers day and tells the story of mother Mary. "Gather round. Gather around! Alright, listen up. In celebration for mothers day tomorrow, I want to share a little story with y'all about the true background of mother's day and about mother Mary herself…" Tiffany begins.
Janae scoffs. "Fucking joke." Janae mutters.
"Quiet!" Angie grunts.
"Shut the fuck up!" Leanne adds before Tiffany begins.
"You know, they say that the modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. But I say that's a myth! I say that the Mother's Day was first celebrated the minute Mary herself became pregnant. The men in her life gifted her in celebration of being a mother and once that baby was born, baby Jesus did nothing but love, honour and cherish as well as gift and spoil his mother. It's just a shame they didn't make it to our world. Jesus died not just for us but also for his mother. No one really knows how mother Mary died. And personally, I don't even think she is dead I think she has scattered pieces of herself inside of all of you mothers or potential mother's to carry on the mothers day legacy." Tiffany explains.
"Amen!" Leanne says.
"Praise!" Angie adds.
"Thank you." Tiffany says as her followers and others clap.
Daya is in her cube preparing for bed and Flaca enters. "Can I talk to you?" she says.
"What about?" Daya asks.
"Look, I know I don't know you that well…but until you came along, Aleida and Maritza have had such a strong bond and I don't know why but it's weird now that you're here. And like, Maritza tells me everything and Aleida tells her everything so like, I know you have a thing for that guard…which is it? Uh…Bennett? Right?" Flaca begins.
"Look, I don't need another lecture. Did my mother send you?" Daya snaps.
"No, listen, I'm here as a friend." Flaca sighs and sits beside Daya on the bed.
"You're not gonna judge me?" Daya asks.
"No. I just want to give you some advice." Flaca replies.
"Yeah…well I don't know what to think. I've been avoiding Bennett cause my mom gave me some advice too… she said I will get hurt and he's not a good guy or whatever…I don't want to believe her but maybe she's right…" Daya sighs.
"No. Fuck that!" Flaca gasps.
"What?" Daya asks with confusion.
"You can't listen to her. Look, I don't know what's going on with your mother but I know she is playing you. I don't want to cause nothin' but when you guys had your sweet moment earlier it was like…too strange. And I think your mom is like…super jealous. She doesn't want you to be happy in here because she is unhappy in here." Flaca explains.
"Really? You think she was jealous?" Daya asks.
"Oh totally! Like…when I was sixteen and I wanted to tickets to Coldplay but my aunty only bought tickets for my cousin I was like…so jealous." Flaca says.
"Maybe your right…holy shit…" Daya mutters with realization and she thinks her mother was wrong about Bennett and is jealous and now Daya is pissed at Aleida.
The following day is mother's day. The girls all wakeup excitedly preparing to see their mothers or kids and prepare for the day.
Piper gets a visit from her mother. She hugs her and they sit. It is extremely awkward. "Happy mothers day." Piper smiles.
"Thank you." Carol replies before leading to silence again. "Huh, is that how you wear your hair these days?" Carol asks breaking the silence.
"Oh, really, Mom? Every time?" Piper scoffs.
"Don't be mopey. Polly had the most darling French braid yesterday." Carol says.
"You saw Polly?" Piper asks.
"Yes. I dropped by with a baby present, as I wont be able to attend the shower. She told me about your "wacky" incident." Carol mutters.
"Is that what she called it? It's W.A.C." Piper corrects her.
"Honey, It's none of my business, but I think you owe her an apology." Carol sighs.
"Apology for what?" Piper asks.
"For pinning your anger on her. Relying on her to keep the business going when she is pregnant." Carol explains.
"Seriously? I have been calling her. A lot. But she won't answer the phone. Every time we talk about the business she blows up. I'm sorry that I am so passionate and don't want to see something I worked hard for, just get swept under the rug." Piper scoffs.
"Piper…I need you to be very honest with me. Are you losing it in here? Because we're very worried about you. There are medications." Carol whispers.
Piper is close to losing her temper, she is angered by her mother's attitude. "I am not going crazy. I am surrounded by crazy, and I am trying to climb Everest in flip-flops, but I am not going crazy, okay?" Piper assures her.
"Honey, nobody would blame you. Look at this place. You're incarcerated. God only knows the emotional toll it must take to be in here with THAT woman." Carol mutters referring to Alex.
Piper rolls her eyes. "She is the least of my problems." Piper says.
"She's your entire problem, Piper. You'd be home trying on wedding dresses, growing your business, giving me grandchildren, if it weren't for her. She stole all that from you. If you must blame someone for ruining your business, don't blame Polly dear. Blame HER." Carol says.
"Mom." Piper mutters.
"Yes." Carol sighs.
"I need you to hear what I'm gonna say. I need you to really hear it. I am in here because I am no different from anybody else in here." Piper begins and Carol scoffs. "I made bad choices. I committed a crime. And being in here is no one's fault but my own." Piper says with a stern tone.
"Honey, if that lawyer had done his job…" Carol begins but Piper cuts her off.
"Howard. Larry's father's name is Howard." Piper corrects her.
"You never would have ended up in here if you'd gone to trial." Carol sighs. Piper rolls her eyes. "Sweetheart, you're nothing like any of these women. Any jury worth its salt would have seen that. Darling, you were a debutante." Carol sighs.
Piper is silent and tries not to snap. "Mom. It's always a pleasure." Piper sighs.
"Well it is mother's day and I wanted contact with ALL my children in one way or another." Carol says.
"Is Danny at home?" Piper asks.
"No dear, Danny will be skipping me on the line." Carol reveals.
"Skipping? Oh…you mean Skype-ing?" Piper laughs.
"Isn't that what I said?" Carol asks.
"And Cal?" Piper asks.
"Well…he refuses to tell me where he is staying but he says he is coming over for dinner tonight. I'm meeting his new lady friend." Carol chuckles.
"Lady friend? Oh my gosh… I wasn't even told…" Piper sighs.
"Piper. You need to stop blaming everyone. Stop, expecting the outside world to still attach and revolve around you. I didn't raise you to be so selfish." Carol says.
Piper is hurt. She shakes her head. "Happy mothers day mom." She mutters and storms out as Nicky watches the visits through the window.
After being checked on her way back in, Piper bumps into Nicky outside the visitation room. "You look like her." Nicky says.
"That's what I'm told." Piper mutters.
"You don't think so?" Nicky asks.
"I prefer to be in denial about the shared genetics." Piper sighs.
"You are in denial about a lot of things, blondie." Nicky scoffs.
"I'm a WASP. That's what we do. I'm working on it." Piper explains. Nicky continues to look at the visitors. "Are you waiting for somebody? Your mom?" Piper asks.
Nicky chuckles. "Nah. Wouldn't want to ruin my four-month dry spell." Nicky reveals says.
"Yeah, well, after that visit, that's starting to sound appealing." Piper says.
Nicky sighs with disappointment. "Look, don't say ungrateful crap like that around here. Your mother shows up, buys you pretzels. Poor you." Nicky mutters.
"We all have our shit, Nicky." Piper says.
"Yeah, some shit stinks worse than other shit, princess." Nicky says.
"You don't know how my shit smells." Piper says.
"Sure I do." Nicky says and sniffs Piper. "Your shit smells like Shalimar. Must have rubbed off when she hugged you goodbye. What a bitch." Nicky says sarcastically.
"I'm sorry. At least you get to spend the day with Red." Piper says.
"Yeah well at least you have a mother! Don't be so ungrateful." Nicky scoffs and storms off. Piper feels bad.
~Flashback~
~Nicky falls off the wagon~
After leaving her mother's house, Nicky was backpacking and she made her way to a party in the park that her friend texted her about. "Yo, what's up? I'm a friend of Corey. Can I join?" Nicky asks. They nod and Nicky takes off her backpack and sits. She checks her cell phone and has multiple missed calls from her mother. Nicky gets out one of the bottles of vodka she stole and she passes it around. "Want some?" she laughs.
"Alright!" one of the party goers cheers.
"Woo! Thanks!" another adds.
"What's your name?" a partygoer asks.
"Nicky." Nicky replies.
"What's your story?" another asks.
Nicky scoffs. "Well…I'm clean. I just got out of rehab…but it's all bullshit." Nicky says.
"So you don't want none of this? It's good shit." One of the partygoers says referring to some cocaine. Nicky is tempted.
"Or what about this?" another asks and holds up a baggie of heroin.
Nicky bounces her leg anxiously she bites her lip. "Fuck it!" she scoffs. "I've missed this stuff to much!" she laughs and she rolls up her sleeve preparing to inject heroin.
~End of flashback~
Meanwhile, Aleida gets visit from her mother, Cesar and her kids. Once Aleida hugs Cesar she sits, ignoring her kids.
"Happy mothers day! Right guys?" Cesar says.
"Happy mothers day." Lucy says.
"I made you a card but I couldn't bring it." Eva adds.
"Whatever. Thanks." Aleida sighs and remains silent.
"You got enough money?" Cesar asks.
"Yes, transfer came through yesterday." Aleida says.
"And Daya, she need anything?" Cesar asks.
"She's fine." Aleida mutters.
"Then why isn't she here to say hello? You better not be fighting again. She needs her mother." Aleida's mother says.
Aleida rolls her eyes. "Wait a minute, both of you are here to visit me? Sure don't seem like it, the way you're talking. Daya. Daya! Ay!" Aleida scoffs.
"Aren't you my woman?" Cesar asks. Aleida nods. "You acting like a jealous bitch." He says. Aleida goes to get up but he stops her. "Shit's not flattering, is it?" he continues.
Aleida rolls her eyes. "Look, clearly you guys don't mean nothing to her, okay? So let it go… Ma, happy mothers day…" Aleida says. Her mother smiles. "Now, can we move on? How's business?" Aleida asks.
"It puts food on the table right." Cesar chuckles.
"I don't think it's right. Doing that shit around kids." Her mother says.
"Hush mamma!" Aleida says and they continue talking.
Meanwhile Red is in the kitchen, hugging Norma and Gina. They made Red a mothers day cake, even though Norma is older. "Thank you. Thank you girls." Red says and tears up.
Morello watches and smiles and she has made Red a card. "Here you go Red." Morello smiles.
"Aw, Lorna…thank you." Red cries. They all hug. "You know, my sons aren't coming today but at least I get to spend this day with my girls." Red smiles.
"You know Red. You always were like the mother I never had. Especially for Nicky." Morello smiles.
Mendez then enters, "Break it up ladies!" he grunts. Red frowns and rolls her eyes. "Red. I think there's something you need to know…but it's not child friendly." He says hinting for her to tell her girls to leave.
"My girls are family. It's my day. They can stay." Red says.
"Fine. I just wanted to let you know that I've sent a few girls down to the SHU; I found them with drugs in their systems. They were coming down with the shivers. This is only the beginning. You best be careful cause her girls could be next." Mendez reveals. Red becomes worried.
Nicky then enters, followed by Big Boo and Tricia. Mendez winks at Tricia.
Red assures him her girls are clean. "My girls do NOT touch that shit! We're all clean!" Red assures him.
Mendez laughs and Tricia looks away nervously. "You were warned." Mendez laughs and leaves.
"Good. The creep is gone. Happy mothers day Red." Nicky smiles and hugs her.
"Oh Nicky, thank you." Red says – still concerned about Mendez.
Nicky notices Red's worry. "Hey, it's gonna be okay. We're gonna protect you. Right girls?" Nicky says.
"Right." Boo says.
"No one messes with our mommy." Morello says.
"Yeah, I'm not scared to stab someone or slip a little poison into someone's meal." Gina adds.
Red smiles. "Thank you." She says as the girls are prepared to form an army in return for Red looking out for them.
Piper calls Larry and he tells her about his Edging article. "So, it was a crazy thing Cal told me about and I thought…fuck it…and yeah, I showed the boss and it went well. Yeah. I mean, it… you know. It was great." Larry explains nervously.
"Oh Wow! I can't believe you never told me. He liked it?" Piper says with surprise.
"You sound surprised." He notices.
"Edging? Edging? Babe, it's a really It's a very weird thing to write about. Weird, very weird. That's all." Piper says.
"Actually, he, um, wants me to write another article." Larry reveals.
"Really?" Piper asks. "Yeah, he thought, um… He thought I should write about you. About our experience." Larry reveals. Piper raises her eyebrows.
"Our experience?" she asks with shock. Larry sighs. "Huh! Has it been difficult for you in here?" Piper asks sarcastically.
"You know, you're not the only person having a hard time, Piper." Larry says with a stern tone.
"Ugh, I hate your stern voice." She mutters and Larry is silent – irritated by Piper. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to take this out on you. But could you just give me a little bit of time to figure out how I feel about you writing an article about me being in here?" Piper asks.
"Of course. You need to process. I should respect that. Take some time." Larry sighs.
"It's just I'm just not sure if I'm ready to be Piper Chapman, the convict fiancée. But as soon as you write an article, it will all be so, um… public." Piper sighs.
"I hear ya. I hear ya." Larry says and clears his throat. "So, is everything going okay with Alex?" Larry asks nervously.
"Yeah, it's fine. It's good. We don't talk." Piper says.
"Good. That's good." Larry sighs with relief.
"Have you found out if she named me yet?" Piper pushes.
"Dammit Piper! I'm trying! Okay…I'll find out as soon as I can okay." Larry snaps with irritation.
"I'm sorry…I just…" Piper begins.
"No. I'm sorry. I just…I gotta go." He sighs.
"Okay. I love you." Piper says.
"You too." He replies.
After her family visit, Aleida goes into Daya's cube and she tries to be nice to Daya again but Daya isn't interested. "What's wrong? You ain't even said happy mothers day to me or nothing!" Aleida grunts.
"Oh, I'm sorry…I just thought you heard it enough from your other kids." Daya says.
"Yeah so? They wanted to see you…" Aleida says.
"I wanted to see them! But you wouldn't let me. You know Aleida, I'm getting so tired of your games and shit! You nothing but a jealous old bitch! And I wasn't talking about the kids before I was talking about your other "daughter"…Maritza…" Daya grunts.
"The fuck you talking about?" Aleida asks.
"When I first got here, she said she was your daughter right? So clearly you can have an honest real bond with someone who ain't even blood related but you can't even let your own real daughter be happy. Go focus on Maritza!" Daya grunts and storms out. Aleida is upset.
That night, Alex and Nicky have just had a shower and are in their towels. Alex notices a big scar on Nicky's chest. "That's a hell of a scar." Alex says.
Nicky chuckles. "Pervert." Nicky grins.
"I like your tits, too." Alex says and they both giggle. "Baboon heart?" Alex asks.
"Bacterial infection." Nicky reveals.
"Hmm. Endocarditis." Alex guesses.
Nicky is surprised. "What? You were a drug pusher/heart surgeon?" Nicky chuckles.
"Just the former. It was pretty common among our top customers." Alex reveals.
Nicky pouts. "I see…"
"You miss it?" Alex asks.
"Holy shit. So much. More than good coffee, more than sleeping in the dark, more than wearing skirts." Nicky sighs.
"You wore skirts?" Alex asks with surprise.
"Yeah. I loved a good skirt. You?" Nicky replies.
"I don't miss smack. I was such a lousy junkie. Never fully committed." Alex chuckles.
"Oh yeah?" Nicky asks.
"But the business Man, that I miss. The adrenaline, the power." Alex continues.
"Yeah, I miss cooking it. Which makes me an idiot, right? I'd let it bubble, even though you waste it when you do that. I just loved the chemistry, you know? The routine. I am a sucker for ritual." Nicky reveals.
"Look at us, Nichols. Same coin, different sides." Alex sighs.
"Supply and demand, motherfucker." Nicky laughs.
"Ugh, what a fucking day…I've been so moody cause I miss my mom… it's annoying." Alex sighs.
"It's normal." Nicky says.
"Did you call yours?" Alex asks.
"No…" Nicky sighs.
"You should." Alex says.
"No, she wouldn't want to hear from me anyway…" Nicky sighs.
~Flashback~
~Nicky has surgery after living on the streets and falling off the wagon~
One night Nicky awakens in the hospital as an EKG beeps and her mother tries to wake her. "Nicole! It's time to wake up." Marka says.
Nicky slowly opens her eyes. "Mom?" Nicky asks with confusion and a hoarse voice.
Marka sighs with relief. "Bacterial infection in your heart. Usually introduced from a dirty needle. They also found traces of cocaine in your blood, which is a fun new choice for you." Marka says.
"I had pneumonia. It was probably from staying in the park late nights. It must've spread or something. Seriously, I'm clean." Nicky mutters.
"Ironically enough, you are now. You had several blood transfusions during the surgery" Marka mutters and shows Nicky the big bandage on her chest. Nicky looks down at her chest and is shocked. "Being a former junkie, your drug usage resulted in need of open heart surgery… Must have been a pretty bad case of pneumonia." Marka scoffs and chuckles and she grabs her phone and texts her boyfriend to let him know Nicky is okay.
"What, you gotta call Paolo? Make sure he's surviving without your tit to suck on?" Nicky scoffs.
"You are 26 years old. Isn't it time you gave up this angry, I-hate-Mom phase?" Marka asks with disappointment.
"Holy shit! Oh, you're my mom! See, I could have sworn it was that brown woman who made me pancakes and read me Charlotte's Web at night." Nicky sighs.
"I did what was good for you." Marka assures her.
"Living with a nanny while you lived in a separate apartment with that prick who thought children carried germs? That's for my own good? I think if you take a second and look at our current situation, you might reconsider." Nicky mutters.
"Do you know what? Keep blaming everyone but yourself, Nicole. Seems to be working out really well for you so far." Marka snaps.
"I always miss you until you're here. Then I realize the mom I miss must've been someone I invented when I was a kid." Nicky continues.
"I don't know what more you want from me." Marka says.
"I want you to do things mothers do. I don't know, hold me, give me sips of water. Anything." Nicky says trying not to get emotional.
"They told me you were gonna die." Marka sighs.
"Isn't that what you want?" Nicky asks.
"Do you know what it was like for me, Nicky? Leaving me a false suicide note was wrong. It was awful. I had no idea where you were or what to do. I was so scared I'd lose you." Marka cries. Nicky feels bad.
"I'm done, okay? I'll stay clean." Nicky says, tearing up and feeling bad.
"Don't do it for me Nicole. Do it for yourself. I am just so disappointed in you." Marka says.
"Yeah, what's new? I don't care. I'm a fuck up! I'm sorry. Just go back to you your boyfriend and forget about me – that should be easy for you right? Don't worry about me…I'll stay clean." Nicky mutters and Marka walks away with tears in her eyes.
~End of flashback~
Episode Eight:
"I Ain't A Snitch!"
At breakfast, Piper sits with Morello, DeMarco and Big Boo before Alex and Nicky join. Piper rolls her eyes – irritated that Alex is causing such problems between her and Larry. Piper tries to ignore Alex completely and eat her breakfast in peace.
Daya sits by herself at breakfast and the Spanish girls look over and wonder what's going on.
"Ay, what's wrong with her?" Gloria asks.
"I don't know. She's being a bitch." Aleida mutters.
"Don't talk like that. She told me about the advice you gave her, and like…your just holding her back. You need to wake up and treat her better." Flaca says. Aleida slaps Flaca. The Spanish girls all gasp. Flaca is shocked and she gets up and walks away to join Daya.
After breakfast, Janae Watson goes to her old cube to talk to Miss Claudette.
"You don't belong here little girl." Claudette says.
"I know. I just wanted to know why you had me moved." Janae sighs.
"I didn't like your attitude. It wasn't welcome in here. The fact that you have come back and approached me with a new tone I can see goodness in you. You were once a nice girl…I guess you got mixed up with the wrong crowd. I'm not prying and I don't give second chances but I can see you're a nice girl. I am willing to forgive you." Claudette says.
Janae lightly smiles. "Thanks. I wasn't always so edgy and tough-acting ya know?" Janae sighs.
"I know. You're an easy one to figure out." Claudette says.
~Flashback~
~A glimpse into Janae's childhood~
When Janae was a kid, she was such a sweet, gifted young girl. She enjoyed sports and staying fit.
One day, she was at the park with her friends and some of the boys suggest playing tag.
"Girls VS boys!" one of the boys say.
The girls begin to run and Janae runs much faster and eventually the boys give. "I give up! You're a show off Janae!" the boy shouts.
Janae doesn't want to be a show off. She was just born with a talent, her speed. It runs in her family. She loved running. But even as a kid, she was worried guys would grow to not like her if she remains a show off. She felt like a freak just because she was gifted.
~End of flashback~
Piper makes a custom Yoga mat for Yoga Jones and goes to the recreation room to present her with it. "Oh my, thank you. I love it." Yoga Jones says.
"You're welcome. I uh…I was wondering when your next session is because I would like to join." Piper asks.
"Oh, well don't you worry Chapman, I promise you that I will help you find your zen." Yoga Jones says.
"Thank you. I could really use that right now…I'm a little edgy or sensitive or…irritable…" Piper sighs.
"It's all about control…channelling these negative feelings." Yoga Jones begins.
"Well…I'm afraid I might…lose control if I don't find some zen." Piper says.
"Well you come see me later today or whenever you wanna start Chapman. We have a session in about half an hour if you wanna come along." Yoga Jones smiles. Piper smiles and nods.
Red gets a visit from her middle son, Vasily, claiming the shop isn't going to great.
"What?" Red gasps with worry.
"That's why pop hasn't come to visit you ma. It's just been so slow. He opens up first thing in the morning and stands there at the counter waiting…all day." Vasily reveals.
"Shit…" Red sighs with worry.
"Don't worry ma, it's gonna be fine. How are you? How have things been? I'm sorry I couldn't come see you for mother's day." Vasily says
"It's fine. Listen, there's a guy in here starting something and I need to stop it." Red reveals.
"Like what?" Vasily asks.
"Drugs. This man is dangerous. I want you to make sure that there are no other private vendors contacting our vendor because I can't let him bring any of that illegal shit in here. It will ruin my business!" Red explains.
"Alright Ma, I'll try but it is unlikely." Vasily says.
"Such a good boy." Red smiles and caresses her sons cheek.
Piper then goes to say hello to Miss Rosa and DeMarco and see how things are going. "Hey, how are you guys?" Piper asks.
"Same as usual. In here." DeMarco says.
"Miss Rosa?" Piper asks.
"I got cancer." Rosa mutters sarcastically.
Piper can't help but laugh; she finds it amusing that Miss Rosa is so comfortable saying that.
Morello interrupts. "Chapman." She smiles.
"Morello." Piper smiles.
"I was wondering if I could give you this list and you take it to Healy for the council because you know I just have so many ideas." Morello smiles.
But once again Piper tries to explain that it is bullshit. "I can try…I will because I still feel bad especially because I don't want you thinking I sucked dick to get this position but I want you to be aware that W.A.C. is mostly a crock of shit." Piper explains.
"Oh I know but I gotta try. And believe me I didn't believe you sucked dick for a second…although I wouldn't blame you." Morello laughs.
"Who even started that disgusting rumour?" Piper asks.
"Nichols." DeMarco says.
"Black lady." Rosa adds.
"I'm not sure…maybe it was that other new girl, Watson, you know the black one that got here when you did…I've heard she isn't happy about the W.A.C. thing…" Morello explains and is startled to see Janae standing in the doorway. "Speak of the devil…" Morello whispers.
"I need to talk to you." Janae says referring to Piper.
"Sure…just give me a second." Piper sighs and finishes her conversation with her friends.
Piper steps out into the hall and joins Janae. Janae is pissed because she believes Piper cheated her way into the council. "What?" Piper asks.
"How the fuck did you do it?" Janae asks.
"Oh…this is about W.A.C. I don't understand…it's old news can't people just let it go…" Piper sighs irritably.
"I know you cheated." Janae replies.
"I'm confused. Why do you care? Taystee is representing your kind anyway not me…" Piper says.
"My kind?" Janae scoffs.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Piper sighs.
"Oh it's exactly how you meant it." Janae grunts.
"I'm really sorry." Piper says.
"Look, I don't care how you did it or what but the thing is new girls like us shouldn't run for things like W.A.C. it draws too much attention to the newbies. It makes the authorities and the C.O.'s question all the new girls and makes them wonder what our intentions and potentials are. Like we have secret motives or something." Janae explains.
"I guess I can kinda see where you're coming from…" Piper sighs.
"And you know what, I'd be careful cause I bet you that with all this attention you've attracted you're gonna get into deep shit with Miss Claudette. She won't appreciate the drama your bringing." Janae adds.
"No, see I've spoken to Claudette and though she may not be happy about it – she gets it. She is nice." Piper says.
"Oh really? It's cause your white…and your bunked in the ghetto! It's fucking racist." Janae scoffs.
"But you're black too…" Piper says.
"I meant the system is racist not Claudette!" Janae snaps.
"You know, can I make a suggestion? Maybe you should try yoga to work on you anger. I mean, I'm gonna join and I think it will be very therapeutic." Piper suggests.
Janae snaps. "No! Don't you get it? You have caused so much shit. I got C.O.'s watching me and questioning me already like I'm up to something. It makes no sense. But I swear it's cause you have attracted "special treatment" without even thinking how it will effect us other newbies." Janae mutters and storms off. Piper remains confused and has no idea what she is talking about.
~Flashback~
~Janae the track star~
In her high school years, Janae was a big track star. She had won trophies and medals. She was a champion, although Janae attracted much attention from college scouts and her coach, she was not noticed by boys.
After track one day, Janae and her teammates rush into the locker room. Wooing and cheering for each other.
"Lightning fast! Did you see the Fillmore coach's face?" Her coach smiles as he entered.
"He had no idea what happened to him." Janae laughs.
"You happened to him." The coach says.
"I just ran, Coach." Janae says.
"Well, Watson, you just ran yourself into the high school record book." The coach smiles.
Janae's face lifts with excitement. "That gonna help with scholarships?" she asks.
"Girl, colleges will be fighting over you." The coach assures her. They both chuckle and Janae jumps with joy. "Now, you get dressed. I'll introduce you around, all right? They're all waiting." The coach says and leaves the locker room.
Janae smiles and she look over at one of her team members who is smooching with her boyfriend. Janae often looked longingly at the other girls on her team who had boyfriends. She wanted to feel that. She wanted to be normal and live a normal life.
The girl notices Janae's stare and she awkwardly approaches Janae. "You ran good." The girl smiles.
"I know it!" Janae laughs proudly.
The girl and her boyfriend leave and Janae remains. She noticed how their hands touched and wondered what it would be like. She craved it. She always questioned if her gift was more like a curse. But she knew because of her strict parents, that she would have to keep making her parents proud, even if it meant sacrificing her happiness.
~End Flashback~
Piper begins to make her way to yoga but Pennsatucky stops her. Tiffany tries to befriend her. "Hi College. What's up?" Tiffany smiles.
"Hi. Doggett…" Piper sighs.
"So uh, have you spoken to Mr Healy about the chapel program yet or not?" Tiffany asks.
"I uh, I don't think it's gonna happen. But I will bring it up." Piper mutters.
Pennsatucky scoffs. "Fine. Forget it college bitch. It's probably too much for you big brain to handle. I'll deal with it myself!" Tiffany snaps and pushes past Piper. Piper rolls her eyes.
During yoga, Piper becomes quiet peaceful. She is doing yoga along with Morello, DeMarco, Norma and a few other inmates.
"All right, extend that rear leg. Challenge yourselves, but don't forget to breathe." Yoga Jones explains.
"What do I do with my arms?" DeMarco asks.
"Extend the arms." Yoga Jones says. Morello begins to focus to hard and looks extremely stressed while stretching. "Soft eyes, Morello." Yoga Jones says as she notices Morello's expression. Yoga is then interrupted as the AA group enter the common room. The AA group includes - Miss Rosa, Tricia, Nicky, Alex, Suzanne, Taystee and a few others. "Excuse me. What's happening?" Yoga Jones asks with confusion.
"We got AA." Rosa says.
"No, not right now you don't. We're doing yoga. This is our time." Yoga Jones replies.
"Well, they sent us here 'cause the chapel's still wrecked and we can't do it outside. But don't worry now. You just keep on doing what you're doing." Suzanne says in a pervy tone.
"Yeah, let's see one of these downward facing doggie styles." Nicky says seductively and watches Morello.
Morello's expression becomes tense again. "Soft eyes, Morello. Soft eyes." Piper says.
"This is unacceptable. Norma, take over for me. I'm getting Caputo." Yoga Jones says and storms out.
The AA group sit and Alex looks over at Piper. Piper freezes whilst she is in an awkward pose. "I'm sorry, am I disturbing you?" Alex asks. Piper sighs and she begins to roll up her mat. "Oh, man, I did it. I fucked up your Zen." Alex mutters.
"No. Just wouldn't wanna accidentally kick you in the face." Piper scoffs and moves to the other side of the room.
Moment's later, Yoga Jones returns and is angry that Caputo gave the AA girls permission to commence during her time.
"So there I am, topless, sitting on this bulldozer, like, in a construction site. So I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties, and I'm like, "What the fuck? Again?" And then I look down and I see there's this dude down on the ground with his head by, like, the tire. And then I look close and I recognize it's the bum from the night before that was hollerin' at me outside of Pizzeria Uno. And when I look closer, I see the dude is wearing my shirt and he's got barbecue sauce all over his face and he's… He's dead. And that's when I knew it was time to make a change. Thank you." Taystee sighs during her AA stand.
"Almost the exact same thing happened to me, but it was tuna salad." Suzanne replies.
"All right. We will now, once again, go into a forward bend, and when you're ready, relax back into Shavasana." Yoga Jones says loudly in the background, trying to block out the AA noise.
"Anyone else feel like sharing today? Anybody?" Rosa asks.
"I'll share." Alex says. Nicky and the other AA girls look at Alex with surprise. Alex steps up and clears her throat. "I don't have a great rock-bottom story because my rock bottom is happening right now. Not that you're not all great, but I guess I just thought I'd never be here." Alex begins as Piper's attention goes to Alex and she listens in. "You know, I thought I was someone who was in control. And I was in control, for a while. When I only dealt heroin. Not even dealt. I mean, I was an importer. But, yeah, I was going through a break-up, and it was around…Actually, I think it's more accurate to say that I was abandoned." Alex continues.
Piper shakes her head with frustration and she begins to roll up her yoga mat.
"But, anyway, I started using...for a while…" Alex continues.
"Are you finished?" Yoga Jones asks noticing Piper packing up.
"Yes, thank you. That was wonderful." Piper sighs politely and she continues to get ready to leave.
"Heroin was the best girlfriend that I ever had. You know, she always made me feel better, and she was always available. But even the best girls will fuck you over, you know?" Alex explains.
"Yeah, you would fucking know, wouldn't you?" Piper grunts as she storms out.
"Damn, I thought yoga was supposed to relax you." Tricia laughs.
Daya goes to the tobacco shack where Bennett is standing alone and she joins him. "Hey." She smiles.
"Hey." Bennett says with surprise. "How are you? I…I feel like you've been avoiding me or were mad or something."
"No. I'm sorry. My mother just tried to fill my head with shit and I needed some time." Daya sighs.
"What kinda shit?" he asks.
"She was warning me to stay away from you cause I'm gonna get hurt and you'll just use me and stuff…" Daya reveals.
"What? Daya, that's crazy…I'm not like that." Bennett assures her.
"Yeah well…mother knows best." Daya scoffs sarcastically.
"Well your mother wouldn't have a clue. She doesn't know me." Bennett smiles.
"But I don't really know you either." Daya sighs.
"Well…I know…but it's different with you." Bennett smiles. Daya blushes. She steps closer to him. "I can't believe you told your mom about us." Bennett says with worry.
"Don't worry. She won't say nothing. I know she won't." Daya assures him.
"I hope not…cause I like you…Daya, I think you are…amazing." Bennett says.
Daya blushes. They both laugh. "Really?" she blushes. Bennett leans in and they kiss. "I know of a few other ways we can get to know each other." Daya says flirtatiously.
Bennett raises his eyebrows with surprise. "Mmm…" he sighs.
"Yeah?" she giggles.
"Well maybe we should meet…later…in the store cupboard in the hall…" he suggests. Daya nods and agrees. They both blush nervously and kiss again.
At lunch, Piper finds Watson and tries apologising to her. "Janae…" Piper begins. Janae looks at her. "Can I sit here?" Piper asks. Janae nods. "Janae, I just wanted to say that I am sorry. I never meant for this whole W.A.C. thing to happen and I am sorry if it has caused the guards to keep an extra eye on you…it isn't fair. It seems like bullshit. It all is bullshit. And it's not right. I'm really sorry." Piper sighs.
"I'm sorry too…I shouldn't have snapped at you. It's just ever since they shut down the track, I can't run no more. I can't be athletic and get it all out of my system and keep my shit together." Janae sighs.
Piper is silent. She sees Yoga Jones passing by. "Uh, Jones! Could you please come here." Piper calls.
Yoga Jones walks over and Janae is confused. "The fuck is this?" Janae asks.
"Jones, this is Janae Watson…" Piper says.
"Namaste." Jones smiles.
"Janae, I think that maybe yoga could help you. It could be your new sport. Maybe help you find your zen." Piper suggests.
"Absolutely. I can help you." Jones smiles.
"I don't know…maybe I will…" Janae sighs. She considers giving it a chance, it can't be any worse then no sport at all.
~Flashback~
~Janae has a breakdown~
Janae was in her room looking at newspaper clippings of her cousin, Curtis, who lives in the UK. He is a famous track star over there. She is furious, she feels like there is so much pressure on her to get into college and be a famous runner like her cousin. She realises that there only needs to be one star in the family.
She has a meltdown and she rips up all he newspaper articles and cries. She loves to run but everyone expects her to be a champion like her cousin. She doesn't want to follow in his footsteps if it means not having a shot at a normal social life and her chance to be happy. She just wants to be "Normal".
~End of flashback~
In Caputo's office, he is talking to his newest correctional officer, Susan Fischer. "So, I think it's great that you are so passionate about helping these women." Caputo says.
"Yes. Well thank you so much for hiring me." Fischer smiles.
"Well here at Litchfield we prefer female C.O.'s but we need to keep men around for protection." Caputo jokes.
"Right." Fischer laughs.
"I think you'll fit right in. Just be careful. Don't let the inmates take advantage of you, because you seem nice and they may see you as a target." Caputo says.
"I'm sure I'll be fine sir." Fischer smiles.
"Great, well just remember…three tips for your first day. Number one, don't make friends with an inmate. Number two, act tough and intimidating. And lastly, don't die." Caputo reveals. Fischer looks nervous. "I'm just kidding, number two is impossible for you. You look too nice." Caputo laughs.
"Oh…thank you." Fischer says nervously.
"Now, get out there." Caputo cheers. Fischer smiles and shakes his hand.
"I won't let you down." She says.
That afternoon, Bennett sneaks into the store cupboard and nervously waits for Daya.
Minutes later Daya nervously enters. "Daya…" he begins but she kisses him and they begin to make out. Daya begins to unbutton Bennett's shirt and then undoes his belt. "Daya…wait…" he mutters.
"No, let me." She says.
"Please, don't." he sighs.
"I wanna feel all of you." Daya replies and pulls down Bennett's pants to reveal he has a prosthetic leg from the knee down on his left leg. Daya is surprised. Bennett closes his eyes and worries this will scare Daya away. Daya kisses the prosthetic leg, proving she is comfortable with it. Bennett opens his eyes and smiles. Daya then kisses her way up to his lips and stops her.
"I should have told you. I was ashamed…" he mutters.
"How'd it happen?" Daya asks.
"I lost it in Afghanistan, in the army." He claims.
"Oh…I'm sorry." Daya replies.
"You don't care?" he asks.
"No. I love every part of you." Daya blushes. Bennett smiles and they continue to make out and have sex for the first time. It's passionate and romantic.
Piper goes to Mr Healy's office. "Mr Healy, sir…" she mutters.
"What do you want Chapman?" he asks.
"I'm here to ask you something. As a W.A.C. leader, as a desperate inmate who just wants peace…" Piper begins.
"Chapman, we understand each other, don't we?" Healy sighs.
"I think so." Piper nods politely.
"I mean, I agree. We're a team. Which is why I chose you for W.A.C." He reveals. Piper is surprised by Mr Healy's confession. She is speechless. "What can I do for you?" he asks.
"The track." Piper smiles. Healy rolls his eyes. "You know, I once saw this lecture on YouTube called "23 and a ½ Hours." It's one of those things where someone draws on a whiteboard? And it says…" Piper begins but he stops her.
"Well, if the Internet says it, then we better listen up, eh? Hmm." Healy sighs sarcastically.
"How much money does this institution spend on healthcare per year?" Piper asks with determination. Healy chuckles. "Walking for a half an hour a day reduces the risk of anxiety, arthritis, depression, things like dementia and diabetes. It helps with everything. If you could save money on medical expenses with something as simple as walking, why wouldn't you? I mean, in the long term…" Piper explains confidently but he cuts her off again.
"No one here gives a crap about the long term, Chapman." Healy mutters.
Caputo then enters. "Yo, Preparation H." Caputo says before realizing Healy is with an inmate. "Oops. Sorry. I'll come back when you're done taking orders." Caputo says and chuckles and closes the door. Healy rolls his eyes.
"Sitting around all day is the worst possible thing that you can do for your body. We're already doing the time." Piper says.
"I've got a deal for you, Chapman. Caputo thinks that the admin and the C.O.'s are slacking off and are being too nice." Healy begins.
"I don't know what you're asking." Piper says with confusion.
"Let's say, you see an inmate and a guard talking – getting close. Or someone is getting special treatment. Report to me who that guard is, that is making the rest of us look bad and then I'll take a look at opening that track." Healy says.
Piper scoffs. "You mean the same way you gave me special treatment? Putting me in the W.A.C., trying to bargain with me right now? Always caving into the inmates? Prison's a big place, Mr Healy." Piper sighs.
"I have confidence in you." Healy sighs.
"Sorry…if this place has taught me anything its snitches end up in ditches…and I cant help you." Piper says.
"Well I can't help you either. Forget about your track, Chapman." Healy says and dismisses her. Piper gets up and leaves with disappointment.
In the hall, Piper bumps into the new guard, Officer Fischer, and she drops her nametag. Fischer picks it up for her. "Thanks." Piper sighs.
"Sure." Fischer smiles and continues to stare at Piper.
"What?" Piper asks.
"I keep feeling like I know you from somewhere." Fischer reveals.
"You didn't go to Smith, did you?" Piper asks. Fischer shakes her head.
"Cabot High Wildcats?" Piper asks.
"Nope." Fischer replies.
"You know, I lived in Red Hook for a while after college." Piper says.
"Oh, I used to bag groceries at Fairway." Fischer reveals.
"No way!" Piper smiles.
"Oh, my God, I remember you. You were always forgetting your cloth bags. And I would pack everything in paper and then you'd remember and get the bags out of your purse and make me re-pack everything." Fischer laughs.
"Oh, boy. Yeah, I guess that did happen a couple of times, huh." Piper sighs with embarrassment.
"Every time. For months. You were a pain in the ass." Fischer laughs. Piper smiles. "Well, who'da thunk we'd end up here, huh?" Fischer chuckles. Piper sighs and remains silent. "Anyway, I just want you to know, that as far as I'm concerned, you and me are the same." Fischer smiles.
"Pardon?" Piper asks with confusion.
"The only difference between us is, when I made bad decisions in life, I didn't get caught. It coulda been me here in khaki, easy." Fischer smiles.
"Thank you for saying that. You know, it's really nice to know that there's somebody on our side." Piper smiles with an idea.
"Sure." Fischer nods.
"Well, you know. You know what would really help to boost morale around here? The track program…but unfortunately none of the staff want to patrol the track so they shut it down…it is negatively effecting all the inmates." Piper sighs.
"Really? Oh my gosh…" Fischer says.
"The track is a great athletic output can be for women and it reduces stress and suicides… I saw this thing once called "23 and a ½ hours" and it was very educational." Piper explains.
"Well, I'd be happy to monitor the track. I'll go talk to Caputo about it right away." Fischer smiles.
"Thank you." Piper smiles feeling proud.
That night, the black girls can't sleep as they can hear someone thudding and jumping around with heavy panting. The dorm is getting irritated.
"Oh man!" one black girl grunts.
"What's up with that?" another shouts.
"Would you shut the fuck up! I know you ain't fucking with my beauty rest, yo." Cindy snaps.
The sound is coming from Poussey and Janae's cube. It's Janae exercising.
"It's fucking Watson, man." Poussey says with irritation.
"They closed the track on me, haters. I ain't gonna get soft like the rest of y'all!" Janae says and continues to do push-ups.
"Look, none of that's gonna matter when they throw your ass in SHU." Poussey mutters.
"I got 10 minutes before the C.O. come back around." Janae sighs and begins to jog on the spot.
"Man, somebody get this bitch a hamster wheel." Cindy mutters with irritation.
"What you gonna do about it, Jemima?" Janae scoffs.
"The hell you just call me?" Cindy gasps.
"I said, what you gonna do?" Janae scoffs and storms over to Cindy's cube.
"Bitch you better back the fuck up right now." Cindy warns her.
"Girls! Come on…chill y'all…" Taystee sighs.
Yoga Jones sneaks in and tries to mellow out the situation. "Janae, come on enough." Yoga Jones sighs.
"Go on back to the suburbs!" Janae says to her.
"The universe did you wrong. Then they took away your track, I get it." Yoga Jones sighs.
"What you talking 'bout, you get it? Yo, go on back to the suburbs, string cheese." Janae grunts.
"I was like you once. Pissed off, thought the world owed me something. It took me a long time to let go of that anger." Yoga Jones explains.
"Bitch, you lying to yourself with this whole Namaste bullshit." Janae grunts.
"You're a step ahead already, channelling your feelings through physical activity, which means, the mind and body connect." Yoga Jones says. Janae scoffs and she plans on throwing it all back onto Yoga Jones.
"Who touched you, yo? Was it your uncle? Your daddy?" Janae laughs.
"Okay, you want to project your issues onto me? That's cool. But I feel bad for you. That negative energy is gonna eat you up inside." Yoga Jones sighs and is disappointed in Janae.
Janae scoffs and laughs. "Man, you this deep in the shit, you must have done something fucking evil. Huh? Why you in here, yo? Did you kill someone? You fucked a kid? Oh! You kill a kid?" Janae mocks but it struck a nerve, Yoga Jones punches Janae in the face –knocking her onto the ground and busting her lip. The black girls gasp. "That's what I thought." Janae scoffs. Yoga Jones is angry and teary-eyed and she walks away back into the white dorm.
"Man, we all thought you were so chilled but turns out you like a wannabe gangster that just got knocked flat on yo ass!" Cindy chuckles.
Janae is silent. She wipes her lip and she feels bad for what she said to Yoga Jones.
~Flashback~
~The night Janae tried to fit in~
In college, Janae attended a party hosted by a local gang leader. She wanted to be normal. Janae had a beer in her hand and she was smiling looking around at the party people. She was starting to feel different already. One of the gang leader's men, Richie comes and finds Janae. "Hey, what up?" he says.
"Hi." Janae says nervously.
"You got a minute? My man, Three-D, wants to chat." Richie says and Janae smiles politely and follows him to the gang leader, Three-D.
"You that track and field girl, right?" Three-D asks.
"Yeah." Janae says.
"You can't be here, yo." He says and takes the beer out of her hands.
"Little Frank told me to come on by." Janae explains.
"Little Frank is not a forward thinker." He mutters. Janae is confused. "Look around you. What you see?" he asks.
"A party. Fun. People." Janae says.
"What kinda people?" he asks.
"Your crew." Janae replies.
"My crew - we thugs. We ain't finished school, we got what we got until the next bust." Three-D sighs, hinting that that she is better than them and has a chance to better her life.
"It look like you're doing okay to me." Janae says.
"You're the real thing, you feel me? Everything we playin' at, everything we holdin', you can have it for real. You wanna fuck that up, that's on you. I can't carry that." He sighs. Janae understands but is upset. "Yo, Richie. Make sure she gets home." He says as Richie walks back over. Janae goes to leave. "You need money for sneakers or whatever, give me a shout." Three-D says.
Janae nods and Richie goes to escort her out. "I know where the door is." She mutters and pushes past the people to get out.
As she leaves the party she tears up and begins to take out her earrings. "What up, rocket girl?" a fellow partygoer asks, showing romantic interest in Janae.
"I got booted, that's what." Janae sighs tearfully.
"Well, Three-D got his own ideas about right and wrong, like he Robin Hood or something." The guy says.
"And who are you?" she asks.
"You wanna party, I'm the brother that's not gonna stop you." He says. Janae smiles as he wipes away her tears. "Call me Flik." He says. Janae smiles. "You know, 'cause you got those thick thighs on you, girl, like damn. Look good on a woman." He chuckles.
Janae blushes. "Yeah. I usually go running and stuff but…" Janae begins.
"Now, that dress, that's not doin' you any favours." He says. Janae laughs. "Let's share." Flik says offering his beer to her.
Janae smiles. "Thank you." She says.
Janae ignored Three-D's advice because Flik did what no boy has done - shown romantic interest in her. They would soon become boyfriend and girlfriend.
~End of flashback~
The following day, Healy is at the vending machine and Caputo approaches him with his morning cup of coffee. "Track is back open!" Caputo announces. Healy is confused. "F-your-I." Caputo smiles.
"Pardon me?" Healy asks with confusion.
"I'm reassigning Fischer, eight hours a week. Her request. Apparently, there's some film thing going around, "twenty hours" or something. It says how exercise saves us bucks in the long term." Caputo says.
"Which appeals to you, 'cause you're chief bean-counter now, right?" Healy mutters.
"Uhh…Fig is gonna eat that shit up." Caputo chuckles and sips his coffee.
"You come up with this in a vision or something?" Healy asks.
"It was all Fischer. Trust the woman, right? Doesn't threaten me to admit it, that is one smart piece of ass." Caputo says and walks off.
Healy is angry – convinced that Piper undermined him and is responsible for this. Healy storms down the hall where he sees Piper. "Chapman!" he grunts.
"Mr Healy." Piper smiles.
"I'm warning you. Don't get on my bad side Chapman! You've been blabbing your mouth all around about this movie you saw and now the track is open. Coincidence? I think not!" Healy grunts.
"Mr Healy, I have no idea what you're talking about." Piper smiles innocently.
"Fine. Just don't get on my bad side Chapman. Don't get cocky. Now go have fucking breakfast." He grunts and storms into his office.
Later that day, Piper is on the phone to Larry and they are talking about the W.A.C. again. "So now they think that I'm a liar. That I made it up. I don't understand. Why would I make something like that up? I didn't want to be apart of the bullshit council anyway." Piper sighs.
"I don't know. Hey, have you spoken to Polly? I really think it would be good if you could convince her to speak to Weiner and save the business." Larry sighs.
"Yes. Yes you're right. I will." Piper says.
"That's good. Because I can't ask my parents for any more money, okay?" Larry laughs.
"No. Yes. And I can't ask mine either." Piper says.
"Okay, we can't ask anyone's parents for any more money. So when you talk to Polly, make it a slam dunk, all right?" Larry laughs.
"Yes." Piper says.
"By the time you get out of prison, you'll be a big-time soap baron, I'll be a famous journalist, and we'll start our life." Larry smiles.
"Life already has started. I'm in here." Piper sighs.
"And I'm here with you. But let's just be honest with each other, okay, Pipes? I wanna know what's going on. Communication is key." Larry says.
"Yes. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Alex." Piper says.
"It's okay." Larry replies.
"It has nothing to do with me being attracted to her. Really. I just I didn't want you to know that I was in here with somebody that I hate so much. Like, oh my God, I swear, sometimes when I'm around her, I feel like I'm going crazy." Piper explains.
"Well, as long as you keep your figure." Larry smiles with relief.
"Hey, did I tell you what happened in yoga?" Piper asks.
"No." Larry mutters.
"She was just there. Trying to antagonize me. I swear, Larry, I could smash her in the face." Piper mutters.
"Okay, well, don't… don't do anything like that. Okay? Anyhow, about Alex…" Larry begins.
"Oh, my God. I bet it was her. I bet she's the one who's been spreading rumours about me. I bet she told everybody that I sucked Mr Healy's dick!" Piper gasps.
"Okay, Piper, let's drop the W.A.C. talk for now. It's not important." Larry says.
"It's my rep!" Piper says.
"Piper, it's not important. Everything is all good now, remember? This is real life. Please don't get dragged into the prison drama. Look, I know it's like a fishbowl in there, but try. Focus." He sighs.
"Larry, I know that you're right, but I have to live in this fishbowl and it's just hard." Piper sighs.
"I know." He replies.
"So, what were you saying? About Alex." Piper asks.
"Oh, I talked to my dad about the indictment." Larry begins nervously.
"And?" Piper asks with anticipation.
"She didn't name you. I guess it was someone else from the ring." Larry lies to try and not complicate her experience in prison. Piper is silent. She is shocked. "Piper, are you there?" Larry asks.
"Yeah, I'm here." Piper mutters with shock.
"Did you hear me?" he asks.
"Yes, I heard you." She stutters.
"I know it's surprising, but this is Pipes, this is good, really, because now you don't have to feel crazy, or angry. You can just do your time and stay away from that asshole." Larry says positively.
"It's just that, Larry, now this… this means that I'm the asshole." Piper sighs feeling bad for being so harsh on Alex in here. This changes everything.
Later that day, Piper is jogging on the track, whilst Janae is also running. Janae is happy she runs past Piper and says "This don't make us even. But thank you." She smiles.
Piper smiles and says "Okay, I can live with that." Piper smiles and continues to jog.
Big Boo sits at a bench, watching Janae run and winks at her. Janae gives her the finger. Boo scoffs. "Huh, another fucking thug." She laughs to herself.
~Flashback~
~The heartbreaking crime~
Janae and Flik were dating for few months later and Janae became involved with his criminal activities and helped him rob a cheque-cashing establishment.
During their escape, the alarm was blaring and they ran into the dark alleyways. "Yo, you see that nigga face?" Flik chuckles.
"Yo, Islam motherfucker got so much beard, he ain't seen his own face since high school." Janae laughs.
"Ain't no Islam, he a Sikh. You racist. Besides, ain't you Muslim?" He sighs.
"I don't talk about that boo." She sighs sensitively. He smiles and kisses her.
Suddenly police sirens startle them. "Yo here, hit the corner, hit the corner. We gonna lose 'em at the corner." Flik says and they run. Of course Janae was able to run much faster than him, and Flik was falling behind. "Wait up, yo! Come on! I said, wait up." He laughs as he falls behind. Janae runs across the street. "Don't be showin' off." He shouts and this momentarily distracted her, bringing back the childhood memories and so she stopped and waited for him to catch up.
This allowed a police officer to corner Janae. "Put your hands where I can see them! Get down on the ground. Get down on the ground!" The officer orders.
"Okay, okay…" Janae tears up and gets on the ground. She looks across the street and Flik runs off with the stolen cash. He let her take the fall for him. She sobs.
The officer handcuffs her and stands her up. "Where's your accomplice?" he asks.
"I ain't a snitch!" Janae grunts and she is taken away.
~End of flashback~
Piper goes into the bathroom and she sees Alex talking with Nicky. Piper feels very shitty for the way she has treated Alex and she smiles at Alex. "Hey Alex." Piper mutters.
Alex looks at Piper. "Come on Nicky, I'm done here." Alex says and she and Nicky push past Piper. Alex isn't interested. Piper sighs and she is upset with herself.
Meanwhile, Bennett and Mendez are in their bubble and Mendez notices how smiley Bennett is. "What's with the grin, Bennett? You got some new silk panties on?" Mendez laughs. Bennett shakes his head. "Or what, you get laid or something?" Mendez scoffs. Bennett blushes. "Oh, shit Bennett got laid! Come on, man. Spill the beans, you fucking pussy monster. Was she Asian?" Mendez laughs.
"No." Bennett says.
"I hear their shit goes sideways. Well? Go ahead. In detail." Mendez says.
"Okay, I got laid." Bennett reveals.
"Yes! I knew it! I knew it, you dirty whore! Come on. I couldn't be prouder if I was your dad. Tell me, man. What about her tits? Were they like big floppy fucking milk jugs or a nice, tight, little handful? What was it?" Mendez asks perversely.
"They were fake." Bennett lies.
"Oh!" Mendez moans.
"She's half-Asian, half-Brazilian." Bennett continues.
"Fuck…" Mendez groans at the thought of it.
"She's got this sister." Bennett whispers.
Mendez's eyes light up. He gasps. "Jesus fucking Christ. Hook me up man!" Mendez laughs.
Nicky and Alex go to Alex's cube to talk. "What was that about?" Nicky asks.
"What?" Alex asks.
"I saw that tension in there. Between you and Chapman." Nicky says.
"It was nothing." Alex assures her.
Nicky smiles. "Well at least you two actually spoke. Kinda. I mean…that's a start. Right?" Nicky smiles.
"Maybe." Alex sighs.
Big Boo interrupts, "Oh, I'm sorry lezzie's for disturbing you. I just couldn't help but notice how close you two have been getting. You know Vause, Nicky is the biggest woman-slut in here." Boo laughs.
"Alright, ya big dyke get outta here." Nicky laughs.
"She's got a thing for you." Boo whispers to Alex and she chuckles and walks off. Nicky blushes.
"Interesting." Alex smiles.
"Is it?" Nicky asks, feeling embarrassed. They both laugh.
"You're cute when you blush." Alex laughs.
During yoga, Janae stands in the doorway and watches.
"And exhale slowly. And float all the way down." Yoga Jones explains to the girls. "Halfway up, and now roll all the way down again, bend at the waist, and let the arms hang. And continue to breathe, and hang." She continues before noticing Janae watching. Yoga Jones feels bad. She smiles at Janae and Janae smiles back.
Episode Nine:
Think Before You Speak
One morning, Piper was heading down to laundry. "Hello?" she calls.
"It's closed." A voice says.
Piper realises it was Alex's voice. Piper smiles and continues into the laundry. "Alex? I was just gonna drop this off, but Tomorrow." Piper sighs awkwardly as Alex gives her an irritated look.
She is still pissed at Piper. "Just give it." Alex sighs.
"What?" Piper asks.
"Give it to me. Your bag." Alex says.
Piper smiles and walks over to Alex and hands her the bag of laundry. Alex writes Piper a ticket to come and collect it later.
"Do you remember the Four Seasons in the Seychelles? Gosh, we just threw our laundry into the hallway, it was like 40 bucks for a pair of pants." Piper smiles trying to make conversation. Alex hides her smile. "Hey. I've been thinking about it a lot. And I just wanted to let you know that there are no hard feelings. I was pretty angry, but I'm over it. So, um friends?" Piper sighs politely, almost coming across as desperate.
"Wow. That's really big of you, Pipes." Alex says. Piper feels as if maybe they can both get along.
Pennsatucky then interrupts. "Oh, I'm sorry college but the laundry is closed. So…move along." Tiffany says.
"Okay…I'm sorry." Piper says and smiles at Alex before leaving.
Alex remains and she lightly smiles to herself. "What's tickling your lady parts?" Tiffany asks.
"Not you." Alex replies.
"Listen Lurch, I don't want no trouble. But you know the rules. When the laundry is closed it stay closed. We don't have to give special treatment to her just cause she is in the W.A.C." Tiffany laughs.
Alex pushes Tiffany up against the wall again. "Don't ever talk about her. Ever again. Because I wasn't lying…I will make you sin. I will fuck you. And I will fuck you…up!" Alex says and pushes past Pennsatucky.
Meanwhile, It's Big Boo's birthday in two days and she wants to keep it quiet and see who remembers. Big Boo goes into the bathroom where Janae is showering. "Oh shit yes! It must be my lucky day. Mind if I join you?" Boo chuckles flirtatiously and peeks over the shower curtain.
"Bitch get the fuck outta here!" Janae scoffs.
"Oh baby playing so hard to get. Rejection doesn't get to me; I'll always keep trying. You'll be begging for the Boo soon enough." Boo chuckles and leaves.
"Dream on." Janae says.
"Sweet wet dreams for me tonight!" Boo giggles.
~Flashback~
~Boo's Biker Years~
When she was in her late twenties, Carrie "Big Boo" Black was living in Nevada, California and was the owner of a bar off the back interstate where both bikers and truckers would go. It was shared territory.
This one particular day however, both sets of gangs were there. Truckers and Bikers were in the bar at the same time. It wouldn't go down well…
"Get the fuck outta here. This is my turf." Fred, the leader of the biker gang says.
"Please. Go back to your momma's basement!" Bob, the truck leader says.
Fred breaks a glass bottle and threatens to hit Bob. Bob snaps a pool cue and threatens back.
Carrie walks over and stands between them. "Boys, is there a problem here?" she chuckles.
"Carrie, you gotta tell Freddy and his motor heads to piss off." Bob says.
"Okay, settle down boys. How about this, free drinks on me. Just don't start anything." Boo says as she tries to bargain with them to keep the peace.
Moment's later a bar fight breaks out between the two gangs. "Alright! That's enough!" Carrie grunts and she pulls the men off each other. "Get the fuck outta here! Now!" Boo grunts. Carrie was an intimidating tough bitch.
~End of Flashback~
In the cafeteria line Piper is beside Janae. "So um, thanks. Again. For getting the track open. It means a lot. It helps me." Janae sighs.
"Oh that's no problem. But um, are you still gonna join yoga?" Piper asks.
"Maybe. Last time I fully committed to something it got me thrown in here…so maybe." Janae says. Piper laughs. "So listen, I wanna return the favour. I wanna give you some advice." Janae says.
"About what?" Piper asks. Janae nudges Piper to follow her to her table with Cindy, Poussey and Taystee.
"Uh! Hold up! Ain't no white girl sitting at our table!" Cindy scoffs.
"Yeah. I mean I'm all for integration…but this isn't Hairspray." Taystee laughs.
"Look. She's with me – alright!" Janae snaps.
"Shit…calm down bitch…it's all good. Just don't sit here long…no need to have a cow man." Cindy says.
Janae and Piper sit. Piper awkwardly sits across from Cindy, Poussey and Taystee who stare her. "Uh…so?" Piper mutters.
"So…you roomed with Miss Claudette right?" Janae asks.
"Uh huh…" Piper nods.
"Well…get this…I know people talk a lot of shit…but in all seriousness, I found out that she is crazy. Like kuku evil crazy…" Janae whispers.
"What? Miss Claudette? No…she isn't so bad." Piper laughs.
"Oh honey! It ain't no joke!" Cindy says.
"Mmm-mmm." Poussey adds.
"Should I be worried?" Piper asks.
"Nah…she only in here cause she killed someone!" Taystee says sarcastically.
"But…that's just a rumour." Piper mutters.
"Yeah…but that's what she wants you think… it ain't no joke! Ain't no one does that much time for nothing but murder." Taystee says.
"Damn straight." Poussey adds.
"So…what should I do?" Piper asks.
"There ain't nothing you can do…besides sleep with one eye open maybe…" Janae sighs.
"So this is the advice?" Piper asks with worry.
"Yeah, just trying to look out for you." Janae smiles.
"You ain't got nothing to worry about…you white!" Cindy chuckles.
"Great. Well I'm more worried now than I was before you told me…I was happy just thinking it was a rumour…" Piper sighs.
"Anyway, what are you still sitting here for?" Janae scoffs.
"What?" Piper mutters.
"Bitch bye!" Cindy says.
"Oh right…sorry…" Piper laughs politely and she leaves and joins her regular crew – worried that her bunkie is a killer.
At another table, Aleida sits alone and Gloria joins her. "Ay, what are you doing?" Gloria asks.
"Just leave me alone, alright…" Aleida sighs.
Gloria sits. "What's wrong?" Gloria asks and holds Aleida's hand.
Aleida pulls her hand away. "Stop! I ain't no lesbiana." Aleida snaps.
"Whoa! I'm sorry… I just care…that's all…" Gloria says.
"I'm sorry…I just…I hate fighting with her…" Aleida sighs referring to Daya.
"I know…but mothers always fight with their kids…it ain't a big deal." Gloria says.
"No but...I fucked up. I shouldn't be in here and neither should she." Aleida sighs.
"Baby, we all make decisions and we all go down the bad road in one way or another." Gloria says.
"But I shouldn't have let this happen… I mean I fucked up my kid's lives and their ain't nothing I can do. But her being in here…that's on me…her being a slut, well that's not my fault. I mean yeah, she gets it from me but I didn't raise her that way." Aleida mutters.
"Aleida. Listen, you're not a bad mother. You're just a good woman who's in here with your daughter. Make it count." Gloria says.
"Yeah like mother like daughter right?" Aleida scoffs.
"Ay, you can fix things while you're in here…and leave together with a bond, stronger than ever." Gloria says.
Aleida tears up. She is holding something back. She bites her tongue – stopping herself from revealing something. "Nah...Daya ain't interested…" Aleida says and wipes her tears.
"Give it time…" Gloria smiles.
Red calls Big Boo to the kitchen and Big Boo thinks it's related to her birthday but instead is let down. "Hey Red, you wanted to see me." Boo smiles with excitement.
"Boo… I need you to keep your cool…." Red says.
Boo is confused – still holding a smile. "What?" Boo mutters.
"You know. Don't fight…" Red mutters.
"I'm sorry…what are we talking about, me?" Boo says and loses the smile.
"With Tricia! Don't get hot headed. Don't let your anger get the best of you." Red says.
"I'm lost." Boo scoffs and crosses her arms.
"Don't give me that crap! You know that Mercy is getting out in two days. I know that you and Mercy were a thing once upon a time and I know your upset that Mercy is with Tricia but I'm asking you, begging you, please don't fight over her." Red sighs.
Boo raises her eyebrows. "Wow…so that's what this is about? Nothing else?" Boo mutters.
"No. I believe that'll be all…" Red says.
"Alright. Whatever." Boo says and she puts her head down and leaves. She is disappointed that Red didn't mention anything about her birthday and she is also sad that Mercy is getting out on her birthday. Just her luck.
~Flashback~
~Carrie makes the gangs negotiate~
One day at the bar, Carrie had made the bikers and the truckers make a deal.
"You can come here Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and we get the rest." Bob says.
"Hah! I don't think so buddy. If anyone should get weekends it should be us!" Freddy scoffs. Carrie joins them.
"Hey Carrie. Since you're the truckers wife, maybe you should tell him to do the smart thing and back down." Freddy says.
"What the fuck did you just call me?" Carrie snaps.
"You know, cause you got bigger balls than him." Freddy explains.
Carrie slaps Freddy. "Both of you need to fucking cut the shit. I ain't gonna take it anymore! I don't choose fucking sides." she snaps.
Bob laughs. "We'll miss you. We're convoying for the week anyway so we'll see you next Sunday." Bob says and shakes Carrie's hand and leaves.
"Hah, funny…we are going on the road too this week…guess it's a matter of who gets back here first." Freddy laughs and begins to leave.
"Yeah…"ha-ha" hilarious…now get the fuck outta here!" Carrie says.
Once the men are gone Boo is left alone in the bar. She chuckles to herself and goes into the men's bathroom where she then sits on the toilet and grabs a porn magazine that one of the guys must have left there and she then masturbates.
~End of flashback~
After breakfast, Pennsatucky makes her way down to Mr Healy's office. She knocks and smiles politely at the door.
"Doggett. Come in. Sit down." He says. She smiles and shuts the door and sits down. "What can I do for you?" he asks.
"I'm here cause I wanna reopen the chapel." She smiles. His eyes glaze over. He sighs. "No listen. Before you say "no" I want you to hear me out…I know we still get our chapel program with the Chaplin. But it just don't feel right not doing it in a house of god…" Tiffany says.
"Doggett, the chapel is still under renovation." He sighs.
"Oh please, don't be lying. Ain't no renovations been done. I ain't seen or hear nothing or nobody working in there." Tiffany scoffs.
"Doggett… I don't know how many times I have to explain it but there is nothing I can do…it's out of my hands. Miss Figueroa is in charge of the programs and their facilities." Healy explains.
"Mr Healy, I don't think you understand how serious this is… if the girls and I can't even appreciate god in a real chapel than half of them will lose their faith." Tiffany says.
"I'll talk to Fig…but the chances are next to nothing…" Healy sighs.
"Great. Cause next to nothing means one right? So there IS a chance, see?" Tiffany giggles.
"Have a nice day Doggett…" he sighs and she gets up and chirpily leaves the office.
Later that morning, one of Red's girls, Mercy Valduto, is in the Recreation Room, with Yoga Jones, Sister Jane, Norma, Red and Gina. Mercy is going through her box of belongings, writing a list of who she is giving her stuff to before she leaves.
Red writes down an address and hands it to Mercy. "Here. Go here tell them I've trained you in my kitchen and they will hire you. I guarantee it. They'll pay you shit and work you like a Chinese on the railroad, but it's a job." Red says.
"Thank Red. It really means a lot that you're hooking me up like this." Mercy smiles.
"Oh I don't "hook-up" I just wanted to make sure you're making a life for yourself and making parole easier." Red says. Mercy chuckles at Red's blindness to the use of the word "hook-up". Red hugs Mercy. "I'm going to miss you. But I swear if I ever see you back in here again I will kill you. You better not stuff up again!" Red says in a warning-motherly tone.
"I won't Red, I promise. At least that's what I'm hoping." Mercy assures her.
"Good. Most of these girls are in and out so much, it's like they're fucking the place." Red smiles they both laughs and hug again.
"Thank you Red. Thank you for everything." Mercy smiles.
Yoga Jones interrupts, "Mercy, may I have your combs?" she asks.
"Yeah, take 'em, Woodstock." Mercy smiles.
"What about this muumuu? May I have it?" Sister Ingalls asks.
"Yeah sure." Mercy smiles.
Meanwhile, Piper goes into the bathroom and again Blanca Flores is yelling to herself in the toilet stall. Piper waits outside the door patiently. Blanca steps out and sees Piper. "Boo!" Blanca grunts before putting a ball of toilet paper in her mouth and chews it and spits it by Piper's feet and returning into the stall.
"Uh…that's disgusting…" Piper scoffs.
"Don't take personally, she's crazy…" Suzanne says as she enters, moping the floor.
"Crazy? You'd know a lot about that huh?" Piper asks sarcastically.
"Hey, Dandelion! Don't be like that…I've been missin on you." Suzanne smiles. Piper rolls her eyes and continues to wait for the stall as Blanca continues to yell in Spanish. "Hey, don't be ignoring me now. I do like I do. Come on, don't be mad at me, Dandelion. I'm sorry. Just don't make me angry, all right? You don't wanna see me when I'm angry. So I drank a lot of water that night!" Suzanne says, getting irritated that Piper won't reply.
"Suzanne… I'm sorry. You're sorry. We're good." Piper snaps. Suzanne smiles and steps toward Piper with a big grin. Piper is weirded out. "So…now I think you should go back to cleaning…because you missed a spot…" Piper mutters, lying to get Suzanne away from her.
Big Boo then enters the recreation room and she sits at a table and stares at Mercy getting rid of all her stuff. Red looks at Boo with worry.
"Oh Mercy, What about this?" Yoga Jones asks and holds up an extra large sweatshirt.
"You'll swim in that." Mercy laughs.
"I was gonna cut it up for yoga straps. You know, for stretching." Yoga Jones smiles.
"Okay, whatever." Mercy chuckles.
""Whatever?" That's my shirt. I gave you that shirt." Boo interrupts and walks over to Mercy.
"Yeah. You gave it to me, so it's mine. And I can give it to who I want." Mercy scoffs.
"Little girl, don't make me go mental on you." Boo threatens her.
"Boo, you don't run me no more. Hmm. I know you miss my ass. But Tricia's been taking real good care of it, and soon it's walkin out of here." Mercy mutters.
Boo is silent with rage. "Do you know what is happening in two days?" Boo asks.
"Yeah…I'm getting out!" Mercy chuckles. Boo is angry, she knows that Mercy knows it's her birthday. "Give me that shirt, let me look at it." Mercy says and Yoga Jones passes it to her. Mercy sniffs it. "You might wanna wash it. Still got some stank on it." Mercy mutters and laughs to herself and passes it back to Yoga Jones.
"You know, it's not your ass that I want anymore, it's your back." Boo scoffs. Mercy smiles. "Yeah. You better watch it, bitch." Boo warns her and walks out as Morello enters and sits beside Red.
"What's the drama?" Morello asks.
"Mercy should know better than to fuck with Boo this close to her date." Red mutters with worry.
"Oh, shit. Well, you think she'll try something?" Morello asks.
"She stole Shelly's date." Red explains.
"Shelly?" Morello asks.
"Mrs Boo, three Mrs Boos ago. The week before her date, Boo had some girl jump her. There was a fight. Shelly had been growing out her nails, mauled that girl like a tiger. Caught two more years down the hill." Red explains.
"Jeez." Morello mutters.
"Oh yes, Boo can be dangerous…she knows how to fuck someone up." Red mutters.
~Flashback~
~Enemy Territory~
The following Sunday, whilst waiting for the truckers and bikers to come home, on the bar Carrie was eating Bob's wife, Janine's pussy. They have been secretly fucking for a while now. Janine moans and squirms. She then stops Carrie. "Carrie! I gotta pee, can we finish this in a second?" Janine asks.
"Sure, my gay-not gay trucker's wife." Carrie laughs as she wipes the pussy juice from her mouth.
"Carrie, I'm not gay." Janine assures her.
"Yeah and I'm not gay either…Oh wait, I lied." Carrie says sarcastically. Janine rolls her eyes and heads to the bathroom.
Suddenly, the enemy bikers gang – The Vipers – drop into the bar. Carrie rushes out to see who they are. Their leader – Bones, tries to intimidate Carrie.
"Who the fuck are you?" Carrie asks.
"Names Bones. And I'm here to take over this joint." He says.
Carrie scoffs. "Over my dead body, pal." She says.
"I was hoping you'd say that." Bone says and he and his men go to attack her.
"Stay back!" She says.
"We aren't afraid of a dyke." One of the men says.
"Yeah, darl…you just ain't ever tried cock so you don't know what you like." Bones chuckles.
"Rugmuncher!" another guy adds.
Carrie snaps and says "Yep, that's me a bug fucking dyke!" before she fights the men. She beats the crap out of all of them.
"Fuck! You're strong for a girl." One of the men whimper.
"Bite my dyke dick assholes! Get off my property!" she shouts.
The men ride off on their bikes.
"We'll be back." Bones mutters.
Carrie then goes back inside where Janine, was waiting for her. "Carrie? Oh my god…what happened to you?" Janine asks.
"Uh, fucking bikers…" Carrie scoffs.
"Why do you think I married a truck driver?" Janine laughs.
"Ah, Janine…it's time for me to enjoy your juicy in my mouth. Kicking their pussy asses made me dehydrated" Carrie chuckles and lifts Janine onto the bar and then gets down on her knees and rips off Janine's jeans and begins to eat her pussy. Janine moans with pleasure.
~End of flashback~
That night before dinner, Miss Claudette is reading a book in her bed and Tricia enters. "Yo, I got mad respect for you, OG. You know, mad props." Tricia laughs. Claudette is silent. "Um, can I ask you something?" Tricia asks.
"I don't know, can you?" Claudette mutters.
"Uh, yeah. It's just that my girl, Mercy, is getting out, and we're having a party and I was thinking maybe you could make that cake that you do. Like, the one you made at Easter last year. That shit was the bomb." Tricia says.
"I made it to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ." Claudette mutters.
"Well, Mercy be resurrecting up out of here, right? Don't you think that deserve cake?" Tricia laughs politely.
"Are you saying your Mercy is like the good Lord, Jesus? Did your Mercy die for our sins? I don't think so." Claudette mutters.
"But she's my boo." Tricia begs.
"I'm tired and not in the mood. Go away now." Claudette grunts.
Piper enters with a box of books that Cal has brought in for her. Piper knows she has interrupted something.
"Yo, Taylor Swift." Tricia smiles, referring to Piper.
"Uh…my friends went a little overboard." Piper reveals, referring to the books.
"When I first got here, my friends sent me all kind of shit, too. Enjoy it while it lasts." Tricia says.
"Oh." Piper says.
"You got anything sexy in there?" Tricia asks.
"Um, I might have some Nicholson Baker." Piper replies.
"Who?" Tricia asks with confusion.
"You need to leave! Take some books with you. Educate yourself. Not that it helped this one." Claudette grunts and refers to Piper in the last part.
"Fine. Be like that. So, what you want? You want some of this, huh? You like this? I can make you feel good." Tricia asks and touches herself. "That's how much I love my girl. I'd do that for her."
"I'm struck by your devotion. And sick to my stomach, too. Get out!" Claudette snaps.
"I'm gonna find something you want, OG. You keep thinking, I'll keep thinking." Tricia winks and goes to leave but stops with an idea. "Hey Brain, I wanna ask you something." Tricia says to Piper.
"Okay." Piper says.
Tricia hands Piper a piece of paper. "What is this?" Piper asks.
"A letter to request an appeal. I need to get out, 'cause my girlfriend's getting out and I gotta be with her. I'm not so good with words, and obviously you read everything and shit, so you'll help me out?" Tricia asks.
"Sure, yeah. I'll take a look at it." Piper smiles.
"Thanks." Tricia smiles.
"Out!" Claudette grunts. Tricia leaves. "Children." Claudette scoffs.
"How's your day been Miss Claudette? Mine hasn't been so bad. I just gotta head to work in the electrical soon…although…it's been cancelled lately – ever since I started actually cause the electrical shop is undergoing repairs…" Piper sighs politely as she sorts her books.
"I don't like mess." Claudette mutters, seeing Piper place her books in an untidy and unorganised manor.
"I'm sorry. I'll organize them." Piper sighs with fear that Claudette may hurt her.
"Book mess, piss mess." Claudette mutters.
"I know. I'm sorry." Piper says.
"You take care of it or ELSE!" Claudette warns her.
Piper is worried - scared that the advice Janae and the black girls gave her may very well be true.
That night, Mercy and Nicky are playing dominos and are talking. "I'm gonna really miss seeing you around kid." Nicky says.
"I'm gonna miss you too Nicky…" Mercy smiles.
"Seriously. You were like my first real friend in here." Nicky smiles.
"Same here. You were the first person to be nice to me." Mercy smiles.
"Got any big plans for when you get out?" Nicky asks.
"No…but I'll keep in touch. I promised Reece and Tricia and Red that'd I'd write to them and I'll write to you too." Mercy explains.
"What about Boo?" Nicky asks.
"What about her?" Mercy scoffs.
"I really think you should make things right with her before you go." Nicky says.
"Maybe…I don't know. Maybe you're right." Mercy smiles.
In bed, Piper is going over Tricia's appeal. Miss Claudette lies on her bed thinking. "What are you reading?" Claudette asks.
"Oh, I'm going over Tricia's appeal. It's a…it's a mess. I want to say no, but she really needs help. Sorry is the light bothering you?" Piper asks.
"The light is fine." Claudette mutters.
"Okay." Piper sighs. It is silent for a while. "Have you ever written anything like this? An appeal? I'm really not sure where to start." Piper continues. Claudette doesn't reply. It is silent. "Miss Claudette? Are you asleep?" Piper whispers.
"Maybe you should stay out of other people's affairs." Claudette says.
"Maybe. But maybe a heartfelt and actually legible letter would help her case, you know? There's always a chance, right?" Piper asks.
"Hope is a dangerous thing." Claudette mutters and she rolls over. Piper turns out the light too and goes to sleep, keeping an eye open out of fear of Claudette.
The next day, Alex is helping decorate the REC room for Mercy's party. Tricia wants it to be perfect.
Boo enters. "Place looks like crap." Boo laughs.
Tricia rolls her eyes. "Would you get more over on the left side?" Tricia snaps at Alex, who is hanging a toilet paper banner on the wall.
"Cause that'll really make it more festive?" Alex asks sarcastically. Boo laughs. "All we need now is a piñata full of rats. Sound about right, perfectionist?" Alex asks. Boo continues to laugh at Alex's mockery.
"You know what, stretch? Your ass just got uninvited. Thanks for the help." Tricia grunts.
"Oh, shit. I just got uninvited to the most depressing party ever. What will I do now to make me not wanna kill myself?" Alex scoffs sarcastically and walks away.
Boo laughs. "You know, she's kind of right. This is more depressing than a Tori Amos cover band." Boo chuckles.
"Look, when in Rome, use what you got. Unless what you got ain't enough to keep your woman. Reflect, yo." Tricia explains.
"Oh, since when are you so…mellow?" Boo asks.
"Chapman's writing my appeal, and she's hella smart, so I'm gonna be out of here soon. With Mercy, my girl." Tricia reveals.
Boo laughs. "Wigga, please. Mercy gonna dump your ass the second she gets out of here. She likes new, shiny things. And out of here, you are as dull as an old pencil, with saggy tits and a fucked-up tattoo on its neck." Boo scoffs.
"Oh, Butchy, face it. I win, you lose. She hates you. She loves me." Tricia says.
"Yeah. And she "loved" me, too. For two whole years, and then she dropped my butch ass for you. And if you don't think that's the way she do, then you are dumber than you look, which is pretty fuckin' dumb, 'cause you look like your relatives have been fucking each other for generations. So yeah, she'll do the same to you. That girl was raised by animals, she don't know how to love." Boo mutters.
"Yeah? Well, you're fat." Tricia scoffs.
"Oh, you got me." Boo gasps sarcastically. She scoffs and shakes her head. "I feel sorry for you Tricia." She mutters before leaving.
~Flashback~
~The Escape~
That Sunday Night, Carrie was crying, Bob has hit her for sleeping with his wife – he found out somehow. "You think it's okay to sleep with another man's wife? You make me so sick." Bob scoffs.
Carrie doesn't usually take shit from no one but this is the first time a man has really hit her. "I'm sorry that I'm not sorry that I think your wife deserves someone better than you." Carrie mutters.
"Listen to me you fucking bitch! You stay away from my wife from now on." He turns away and goes to leave but pauses. Hey, I got an idea…" he mutters and begins to corner Carrie.
"What are you doing?" she asks.
Bob pushes Carrie over the pool table and he pulls down her pants.
Carrie struggles. "No! No! Get the fuck off me!" she shouts but he holds her down while he rapes her.
"This will change your attitude…fucking dyke, you just don't know what a real man feels like…" he chuckles and continues to rape her. Carries cries, she can't fight him off but eventually after he cums, she is able to break free.
Carrie rushes outside where luckily Freddy and his biker gang have arrived. "Hey what happened?" Freddy asks with concern.
"Bob hit me. I was sleeping with his wife. He…raped me…the asshole…and whilst you were gone, some Bones guy and his gang dropped in and tried to fight me but I did a good number on them but they will be back." Carrie explains.
"Wait! Bob hit you? He fucking raped you?" Freddy asks with shock. Carrie nods. "Jesus Carrie, why didn't you kick his ass?" Freddy asks.
"I was so stunned…I couldn't believe it." Carrie stutters. She is really shaken up about this.
"Boys…" Freddy says as he and his men head inside and beat Bob up.
Moment's later Freddy comes back out. "Here sweetheart, take his truck. Get as far away from here as possible. I don't want those men to find you when they come back." Freddy says and throws her Bob's truck keys.
"Thank you." She sighs and she hugs Freddy. She gets into the truck and she drives all the way to Manhattan, New York.
~End of flashback~
That afternoon, Big Boo, Poussey, Gina and Gloria, go see Piper in her dorm and Piper is confused. "Can I help you?" Piper asks with worry.
"Heard you were helping Tricia with a letter." Boo mutters.
"Oh, I just said that I would look at it with her. I don't I don't want any trouble." Piper sighs.
"Neither do I. I just want you to help me with mine." Boo says.
"Yeah, me, too." Gloria adds.
"Yeah, same here." Poussey says.
"Well, I'm not a lawyer. You guys know that, right? I just said that I would look over it with her." Piper explains but they just stare at her irritably. "But I guess that I can do that with you guys, too. So, why don't we set up a time to talk, or, I guess, times to talk?" Piper suggests.
"Why not now?" Boo asks.
"No day like today." Gina adds.
"Now is really not a good time. My roommate will be back soon and she doesn't like crowds…" Piper sighs.
"Wow, blanca." Gloria sighs and rolls her eye.
"Really?" Gina scoffs.
"No. I need to look over everything first, so why don't you leave the papers with me." Piper tries to explain.
"Okay, well, how about this? I'm innocent, I was set up. How about that?" Gloria scoffs.
"Yeah. Shit, I didn't even have much on me!" Poussey adds.
"And, I mean, I may be a thief, but I'm not an embezzler, you know. And that guy shot himself." Gina grunts.
"I mean…seriously. People love me." Boo adds.
Piper is lost. Claudette then enters and is raged to see the girls in her cube. "This is my room. Not a sorority." Claudette grunts.
"I'm sorry. I know how you feel about guests. I asked them to leave. They are looking for legal help." Piper sighs.
"If you want to open a law office, do it someplace else. Not in my room! Ladies, if you don't mind." Claudette grunts.
The girls then hand Piper their papers. "Food stamp fraud? I mean, really, I was only feeding starving children." Gloria assures her and they leave.
"I'm really sorry…" Piper sighs.
"You're pushing your luck girl." Claudette mutters.
"I'm…I'm…I'm gonna go…I'll see you later…" Piper stutters and leaves.
That afternoon, Piper bumps into Alex in the hall and knocks Alex's glasses off. "Shit! Sorry." Piper gasps.
"It's alright." Alex says. Piper picks up Alex's glasses and hands them to her. "Thanks." Alex says.
"Sure." Piper smiles politely and begins to walk away but Alex grabs her.
"Hey. Are you okay?" Alex asks.
"Yeah. I'm just…uh, some of the girls want me to go over their appeals and get their cases reopened so they can get out. And my roommate isn't a big fan of visitors in HER room." Piper explains.
Alex laughs. "Shit. So it's not just Pennsatucky that thinks you're smart." Alex laughs.
"What?" Piper laughs.
"She calls you "college" and now you have girls coming after you for your help." Alex laughs.
"Well actually I was referred to as "Taylor Swift" and then "Brain" and then I was referred to as "Blanca" which is a little confusing for me because Blanca in Spanish literally means "white" so it's like Blanca, the lady who yells to herself in the bathroom – her name is white…and they call me white…it's funny." Piper rambles and Alex smiles at how adorable Piper is when she rambles. "What?" Piper blushes.
"Nothing. Shouldn't you be at work?" Alex asks.
"Well you know it's crazy…I was assigned electrical like a week or so ago and I haven't done anything electrical related. Nicky said we basically just hang out and chill. Something to do with budget cuts?" Piper mutters.
"Oh so like in high school when you had free periods." Alex says.
"Exactly." Piper smiles. They both smile at each other for a moment.
"Anyway…I'm still not sure if I'm talking to you or not…so I'll see you around…Chapman." Alex smiles and walks off. Piper smiles.
The next morning, it's Boo's birthday. She wakes up and she feels crappy. Depressed. Alone. She goes to Mr Healy's office and sits down.
"Good morning Black, how are you?" he asks.
"How am I?" she scoffs.
"Yes." He smiles.
"I'm fucking lonely. I'm depressed. Jeez, I don't like to be so glum but its just today… is a very hard day for me." Boo sighs with tension.
"What happened?" He asks.
"It's my birthday." Boo says.
"Oh, so it is…I'm very sorry. Happy Birthday." Healy smiles.
"Yeah, thanks." Boo scoffs sarcastically.
"Black, I know that depression and anxiety are hard. Feelings of loneliness and isolation are common. I have some issues I try to bury too so I understand where your coming from. I have something that may help you." He says.
"What is it? More medication?" she scoffs.
"No. How would you feel about having custody of a therapy dog from our prison pet program? You like dogs right? Pet's are proven to be an antidepressant." Healy explains.
Boo smiles. "Mr Healy…thank you." Boo sighs and hugs him, awkwardly. She is happy that someone has been nice to her and appreciated her needs on her birthday.
~Flashback~
~The start of her new life~
Carrie arrives at her sister's house in Queens. She knocks on the door and her sister Patty answers. "Carrie?" her sister gasps with surprise.
"Hey Pat." Carrie sighs.
"I haven't seen you in almost five years…" Patty sighs.
Carrie tears up and she falls to her knees. Her recent encounter has made her a very vulnerable person; it was like it destroyed all her strength. "I live a horrible fucking life, Patty. I get involved with criminal bikers. I sleep with trucker's wives. I run an unlicensed business. I'm a fuck up." Carrie cries.
"Oh Carrie…" Patty sighs and hugs her. "You can stay with me for as long as you need. We will fix you. Maybe we can join the gym together. Make you tough again, cause the Carrie I know would never cry." Patty says. Boo smiles and nods.
~End of flashback~
Nicky is making her way to Mercy's farewell party and she bumps into Piper. "You scared me." Piper gasps.
"Yeah, I get that a lot." Nicky says and Piper continues to head to the dorms. "What? No party for you?" Nicky asks.
"No." Piper sighs.
"You all right, kitten?" Nicky asks.
"I think I might've gotten Miss Claudette really mad at me." Piper sighs with worry.
"Look, you know how some people have imaginary friends? I think you might have imaginary enemies." Nicky sighs.
Piper is silent. She thinks about Nicky's friendship with Alex and wonders what has been said about her. "What did she say to you? Has she said anything?" Piper asks.
"Miss Claudette?" Nicky asks with confusion.
"No, Alex." Piper says.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Nicky chuckles.
"Yes, I would actually." Piper says.
"Ok…she said you were a squirter." Nicky whispers.
Piper is shocked. Speechless. "I don't… That's… Once. It happened once! And it took us both by surprise." Piper stutters with embarrassment.
"Wow. I was kidding. But good to know." Nicky chuckles.
"Oh…shit…" Piper laughs.
"Whatever they are, she's keeping your secrets. But I'll get 'em out of you. More than once." Nicky winks.
"Do you think that she'll try and hurt me in my sleep?" Piper asks.
"Who, Alex?" Nicky asks with confusion.
"No. Miss Claudette." Piper sighs.
"Look, Miss Claudette was into some kind of slave-trade shit. All that murder talk is rumour, and if you ask me, bullshit. So unless you're worried she's gonna harbour you illegally, I wouldn't sweat it." Nicky assures her.
"Okay…" Piper sighs.
"Anyway, I got a party to get to." Nicky says and walks off.
At the party, Taystee reads a poem for Mercy.
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows - It's a very mean place - So you wind up in prison and everybody's up in your face - I don't care how tough you are, - The world will beat you to your knees - You lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas - Nobody's gonna hit you harder than life - Not a guard, not a gangster, not even your wife - Mercy, you gettin' out, so there's no need to sit around and pout - We gonna open up a booth, so you can - Sit and mourn for your lost youth - I hope you enjoyed my original piece. It was a Taystee delight. Thank you, and I bid you all a good night."
Taystee smiles and the girls applaud.
"Yo, please, that ain't yours! You stole half that shit from Rocky VI." Poussey scoffs.
"Maybe, but I made it rhyme." Taystee says.
"True." Poussey laughs.
"Thanks Taystee." Mercy smiles as the music begins to play.
Alex then enters and lines up behind Gloria to use the microwave. Tricia walks up to Alex and nudges her. "Don't know how you are with the word stuff, but "uninvited" means "NOT invited." Okay?" Tricia scoffs.
"Yeah, I'm just using the microwave." Alex sighs.
"Yeah, right." Tricia mutters and walks off.
"I don't want to be at this lame-ass thing anyway." Alex sighs.
"And yet you decided to cook your noodles right in the middle of it all." Gloria says, making a joke out of it. "Baby, high school is high school." Gloria continues.
"Thanks." Alex mutters.
"And don't be talking to me, white girl." Gloria says sarcastically with a smile and walks off.
Mercy notices Tricia is upset in the corner and she approaches her. "You okay?" Mercy asks.
"No. I'm gonna miss you. And I may be in here for a little while. Promise you'll wait for me?" Tricia asks.
"Baby, course I promise. Don't let Boo get into your head. I'm your girl." Mercy assures her and they kiss passionately in front of Boo. Boo cringes.
"Plenty of other pussy in here. Let it go." Red says and hands Boo some corn and a salt shaker – Boo's favourite snack.
"Come on, white girl." Taystee giggles and brings Mercy onto the dance floor and Dance. Boo laughs and shakes her head.
~Flashback~
~Carrie's adjustment~
After a couple of months, Carrie has been using a different name for her own protection – Betty Drake - still paranoid those guy will come back for her. Although she was still a strong self-assured dyke, she has become a slightly more feminine version of herself.
She is now a dog walker in central park and sells drugs on the side. Patty isn't too happy about this when she finds out. "Why would you get involved in illegal shit again Carrie?" Patty snaps.
"I just miss the adrenaline of breaking the rules. I just wanted to make some more cash. I wanted to feel some sort of power again. I'm a stud." Carrie explains.
"I'm really disappointed in you." Patty sighs.
"Yeah, well so is everyone in our family. I'll fucking stop okay. Drugs were never my thing anyway." Carrie says before throwing up.
"Carrie are you okay? That's like the millionth time this week. Here take this…" Patty says and hands Carrie a pregnancy test.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Carrie scoffs.
"Just do it. Just in case. You never know…you have kinda gained a bit of weight…and you crave a lot…" Patty sighs.
"I'm a fucking lesbian I haven't had a dick in me like ever…" Boo says but pauses remembering the trauma of being raped by Bob. She realises Patty might be right. She takes the pregnancy test and she is pregnant. She gasps and tears up. "Patty… I can't keep it…" Carrie sighs.
"Fine... you do what you gotta do Carrie…I'll set up the appointment if you're sure…but this doesn't change the fact your involved with drugs. You know how I'm against it!" Patty gasps.
"I said I'd stop. I'm sorry."
A couple of days later, Carrie goes to an abortion clinic with her sister. "Do you want me to come in with you? For support?" Patty asks.
"No. I'll be fine." Carrie says.
In the doctor's office, Carrie is lying on the bed. Tear filled eyes as her past flashes through her mind.
"Miss Black?" The doctor says.
"Betty Drake! I mean…yes, Carrie." She replies.
"Are you sure you wanna do this." He asks.
Carrie pauses and thinks for a moment. She tears up. She nods. "Yes. Please. I can't…" she begins to tear up.
"Okay, relax. It'll all be over soon." The doctor says and begins the abortion process.
~End of flashback~
Tricia sneaks away from the party and she sneaks into Mercy's cube. She is planning on planting some of the drugs Mendez gave her, in Mercy's cube so she won't be released.
She is spotted and confronted by Miss Claudette. "What are you doing?" Claudette asks.
"Oh, you. I got cake from Red, so fuck off." Tricia grunts.
"I said, what are you doing?" Claudette demands.
"Mind your own business." Tricia scoffs.
"I see those drugs in your hand." Claudette grunts and grabs Tricia by the throat. Tricia struggles. "The more you struggle, the more it will hurt." Claudette mutters.
"Get the fuck off me, you old bitch!" Tricia grunts.
"You can't take away that girl's shot at getting out." Claudette says.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Tricia lies.
"Yes, you do! You will not steal Mercy's date over a schoolgirl crush! You can't play with someone's life like that." Claudette grunts.
"But I love her." Tricia cries.
"Love is not an excuse!" Claudette assures her before releasing her. "If you really loved her, you wouldn't ruin her life like this." Claudette says. Tricia cries and pushes past Claudette and storms off.
Meanwhile, at the party Big Boo later rolls her eyes and is mad cause it's all about that bitch Mercy. Not one person has approached her and said "Happy Birthday" or anything. Boo is angry but she tries not to let it get to her and she just enjoys the food.
~Flashback~
~Anger management~
About a week later, Carrie is still feeling guilty for getting an abortion and she feels sick to her stomach thinking about it. She finds a letter in the trashcan from Bones. "What the fuck is this?" Carrie gasps, confronting Patty.
"Carrie…I'm sorry…" Patty gasps with guilt.
"Have you been writing to him? Patty…these are bad people! We can't fuck with them." Carrie explains.
"I'm sorry…I just was so mad at you…you brought drugs into my house." Patty explains.
"You ratted me out? You told them where I am, didn't you?" Carrie snaps.
Carrie and Patty argue for hours.
"You can't stay here anymore!" Patty cries.
Carrie flips out and she storms into the bathroom. She smashes stuff before grabbing the razor and she shaves her head. She then returns to the kitchen and destroys it.
"Carrie! Stop this! What the fuck is wrong with you? You fucking dyke-tantrum tot!" Patty snaps without thinking. She pauses and feels bad.
Carrie snaps. "You kick me out, that's as good as killing me!" She grabs a knife and she stabs Patty in the eye. "You stupid bitch! Think before you speak!" Carrie grunts. She then freaks out and falls to the floor. She sobs. "Ah fuck! What the fuck have I done? Shit…Oh Patty…Patty I'm sorry…" she cries, thinking she has killed her sister. She has never been good at controlling her temper and she had similar incidents with Patty when they were children. Patty is still alive. "I'm gonna help you. I'm so sorry." Carrie sighs. She dials 911 but suddenly Bones and his men break in and abduct her.
~End of flashback~
That afternoon, Larry goes to Polly and Pete's place, who tells him he has a contact who wants to put Larry on his radio show to talk about his experience with having a fiancé in prison. "Hey fagstar! I have some news for you." Pete says.
"Really, what?" Larry asks.
"Well I know you just released an article about "benching" or whatever…" Pete begins.
"It's edging." Larry says.
"Whatever…anyway, I have something you might be interested in." Pete says.
"Well, I was recently offered to do an article about mine and Piper's situation." Larry says.
"Well I got you something better mate. I know a guy, who wants you on his radio show." Pete says.
"No way. Really? Who?" Larry asks with surprise.
"Maury Kind." Pete reveals.
"Maury Kind! The radio voice of "Urban Tales", like for real?" Larry gasps with surprise.
"Yep. He's recently divorced. I'm mixing sounds for him and the show at the studio and over time we've gotten to know each other and Polly suggested I mention you and he is interested." Pete explains.
"Really? Oh my gosh. Guys, yes! Yes I am interested!" Larry says with gratefulness.
"I didn't realize you'd geek out so hard." Pete laughs.
"You know, I'd love to talk to him." Larry says.
"Well, it'd be weird if you didn't." Pete says.
"Well, yes…I mean I don't get why he'd be interested but yes." Larry smiles.
"Cool bananas I'll set up a meeting for the two of you." Pete says.
"What do you think?" Polly asks.
"This is so great Polly…thank you." Larry smiles.
"I know you're a big fan…" Polly laughs.
"Shit…what will Piper think. She already shot me down about a written article about our lives. She'd never allow a verbal public radio story." Larry says with worry.
"Well screw her!" Pete scoffs.
"Pete!" Polly gasps.
"No I'm serious. This is YOUR story too. She doesn't have to know." Pete explains.
"That's true. She never told you about Alex so don't tell her about this. Do it for you. Fuck what Piper says. Just got for it!" Polly smiles supportively.
Larry smiles and nods. "Yeah! Yeah let's do it!" he says with excitement.
Later that afternoon Mercy is released. Inmates gather in the visitation room to say goodbye and watch her leave. Mercy first hugs Nicky. "Be good, okay?" Mercy smiles.
Boo then lines up for a hug. "Sorry I've been such a dick." Boo sighs and hugs Mercy.
"I'm sorry too. Happy birthday." Mercy whispers as they embrace.
"You know, I'm gonna miss you, little girl." Boo says and goes in for a kiss but Mendez stops them.
"Black!" he grunts. Boo rolls her eyes and moves along. She smiles knowing she let Mercy go on a positive note.
Mercy then hugs Tricia. They embrace as Tricia cries. "Hey now, don't cry baby…it's not forever." Mercy assures her. They kiss passionately.
"Hey, that's enough, ladies. Break it up." Mendez demands. They continue to kiss so he steps in between them. "Come on. Hey, hey! No tongue-fucking in the visitation room, you know that." Mendez mutters.
"Love you." Tricia sighs.
"I promise I'm gonna wait for you." Mercy assures her. Tricia nods. "Alright. Bye, guys." She sighs and makes her way to the exit. "Be good, okay?" she smiles and blows a kiss to Tricia. Mendez then escorts her out as she waves goodbye.
After Mercy leaves Big Boo is walking down the hall, feeling a little down and she is stopped by Nicky. "Hey Boo. Come here, I wanna show you something." Nicky says.
"Not now Nichols." Boo sighs.
"Come on." Nicky says. Boo rolls her eyes. Nicky takes her to the REC room where they have set up a birthday party for her.
"SURPRISE!" The girls shout.
Boo is surprised and thankful and happy. "Aw you guys!" Boo smiles and hugs Red and their girls. "You fucking bitches, I thought you'd forgotten!" Boo laughs.
Episode Ten:
Screwed!
One morning, Miss Figueroa was holding a staff meeting. "Good morning, everybody. Today I have a few things I'd like to address. First of all the electrical shop is now open and the inmates can actually do some work around here." Fig explains.
"Great. There goes my nap time." Officer Luschek says.
"Secondly, I'm sorry to say that we are having a bit of a budget situation and we will be having a lot more budget cuts but we will deal with it." Fig continues.
"Ah Jesus! Natalie we're barely even surviving on the budget as is and now you want to take away more honey from the barrel?" Caputo scoffs.
"Joe, it's out of my hands. If you have an issue take up with the warden but I assure you he has better things to do. And finally, if I may remind you all – WE run the prison. NOT the inmates. So please, don't be friendly. Don't give special treatment. Do your jobs." Fig grunts and struts out and into her office.
"Jesus! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Caputo laughs.
"Yeah. She probably had a rough childhood too…" Officer O'Neil laughs.
"Yeah, I betcha she was a real little bitch!" Caputo adds.
~Flashback~
~Spoiled brat~
In her childhood, Natalie was a very bitchy, horrible, spoiled-rotten child. Her family was successful. Her father had a great paying job, as he owned a factory before later getting into politics. Her mother was a very materialistic snob who acted like she was better than everyone but hated spending money, which was an odd combination.
One day when she was about six years old, Natalie was at the mall with her parent's. They go into a toy store where Natalie spots a Barbie convertible. "I want this! Please! Can I have it? Please!" Natalie begs.
Her mother rolls her eyes. "Oh Natalie, stop being such a begger. I won't allow this embarrassing scene. You are too old for toys!" her mother grunted.
Natalie screams. "But I want it!" She makes a big scene by throwing a tantrum. "Daddy! Daddy please!" Natalie cried.
"Okay sweetheart, let's go pay for it." Her father sighs. Natalie giggles and jumps for joy. She was a spoilt daddy's girl, who always got what she wanted.
~End of flashback~
Fischer is monitoring the REC room where girls are going about their business and Boo enters. "Okay, bitches, who's first in line for some puppy lovin? She shouts, revealing her new companion, a Golden Retriever.
"Puppy lovin!" Morello gasps and rushes over to pat the dog.
Officer Fischer also is keen for some dog affection. "He's so cute. He looks just like my dog from when I was a kid. Except mine was more of a Dachshund, but the nostril part is the same. Yeah you look just like Chummy." Fischer laughs as she pats the dog.
Caputo then approaches the excitement. "Make him do a trick." He says.
"SHE doesn't know any yet." Boo replies.
"Well, maybe you can take some time off from sitting around eating all day, and teach him something." Caputo smiles and winks at Fischer.
Boo laughs sarcastically before mouthing, "Fucking asshole."
Caputo then steps closer to Fischer. "You ever notice how some dog breeds, they sound kind of dirty? Like, Shih Tzu, Cocker, Jack-something…" He chuckles.
"Poodle." Fischer replies innocently.
"That is good. I didn't think of that one. That is very clever." Caputo laughs, trying really hard to "bond" with Fischer.
"Hey, you know what, guys? Look at that face. I'm gonna call her Little Boo." Boo says.
"Aw! Little Boo." Morello replies.
"Little Boo and Big Boo, how clever." Fischer laughs.
"Yeah. Whose a little boo? Yes!" Boo laughs and kisses Little Boo.
After the puppy excitement, Morello returns to her table with Norma, where she holds up a cardboard poster she made with all different places she wants to travel to. "These are all the places I'm gonna travel when I get out. Starting with Anguilla. I read that Orlando Bloom honeymooned there. And Courteney Cox and David Arquette, even though that didn't work out. Oh and I love the beach, but I burn like a lobster, so I'm gonna get a good swim shirt and, bonus, it's gonna hide the gallbladder scar." Morello explains.
Norma then begins to write in her notepad. She holds up a note that says "INDUBITABLY"
Morello then reads it. "Oh, yeah. Sure." She replies.
Nicky then interrupts them. "Hey Lorna." Nicky smiles.
"Oh, hi Nichols." Morello smiles.
"Listen uh, can we talk…private?" Nicky asks.
"Uh…sure…" Morello replies.
"Go on Norma, get back to work." Nicky says, shooing Norma away. "So listen…I just wanted to apologize." Nicky sighs.
"For what?" Morello asks.
"I just feel like I haven't spoken to you in weeks and I was worried I'd done something and I just…I miss you." Nicky explains.
"I miss you too." Morello mutters with a tear in her eye.
"So…what do you say?" Nicky winks.
Morello takes a deep breath. "Oh Nicky…I feel like a toddler again down there. Make me feel like a woman." She sighs seductively and they go into the showers and Nicky pulls down Morello's pants and begins to eat her pussy like old times. "Oh Nicky! Oh Nicky! OH NICKY!" Morello screams with pleasure.
Meanwhile Tricia is talking to Taystee and Piper joins them. "What are we talking about?" Piper asks.
"Being free." Taystee says.
"Chapman wrote me three letters for my case and it did fuck-all. They ain't lettin' people out who hasn't done their whole time." Tricia sighs.
"Well, I ain't people. I'm training for this, bitch." Taystee scoffs.
"You're getting out?" Piper asks.
"Not yet. But I will be. I can apply for an appeal in a few months. And I ain't never comin' back, neither, not like the rest of y'all. Like Oprah say, "the road less travelled."" Taystee says.
"You know, that doesn't mean what everybody thinks it means." Piper says.
"Aw, shit, we about to get educated and shit." Taystee sighs. Tricia laughs.
"No, no, no. I'm just saying that everyone thinks the poem means to break away from the crowd and, like, do your own thing. But if you read it, Frost is very clear that the two roads are exactly the same. He just chooses one at random. And then it's only later at a dinner party, when he's talking about it that he tells everybody he chose the road less travelled by, but he's lying." Piper explains. Tricia and Taystee stare at her with irritation and confusion. They roll their eyes and their eyes glaze over with boredom. Piper smiles politely. "So the point of the poem is, that everyone wants to look back and think that their choices mattered, but in reality, shit just happens the way that it happens, and it does not mean anything." Piper continues.
"I will probably kill her in her sleep tonight." Tricia says.
"Wake me up so I can watch." Taystee adds.
"Chapman!" Officer Donaldson shouts.
"Yes? What?" Piper asks.
"Electrical shop is now open. Get to work." He demands.
"Okay. Okay. Fine, I gotta get to work anyway ladies." Piper smiles and heads to work.
"Thank fuck!" Taystee sighs. Tricia laughs.
Piper is in the electrical shop along with Nicky, Flaca, Janae, Reece and a few other inmates.
"Excited? Nervous?" Nicky asks.
"I'm not sure what to expect to be honest." Piper says.
"Newts! Where are my newts? Gather here." Luschek shouts.
"Newts?" Piper asks with confusion.
"It's his adorable word for newbies." Nicky explains as she begins to drill a hole in the wall.
"What are you doing?" Piper asks.
"It's an art piece representing the futility of blue-collar labour in a technological age. And vaginas." Nicky explains before sniffing her fingers. Piper is confused. "Just go gather before he yells in your face. He's got breath like dead things." Nicky says and continues to drill.
Piper gathers with the newbies. "Welcome to the electric shop. Tools are kept here. If you want a tool, turn in a chit. Chits have numbers. The numbers are assigned to you. If the tools go missing, we know who has them, and your ass is grass. Demonstration, please…you." Luschek says and points to Flaca.
"Okay, so my chit number is seven. They all have seven on 'em. I hand a chit in –I get my tool – I hand the tool back – I get my chit back." Flaca demonstrates.
Nicky's drilling becomes louder. Luschek cringes. "Hey, Rabbit Pearl! Ease back, all right? We're all gonna go numb!" he shouts. Nicky shrugs. "Anyways, simple as that." He continues.
"Mr Luschek, I think that there's been a mistake. When I was first got here I asked to be put in the education program." Piper sighs.
"Is that right, sweetheart?" he chuckles.
"Yes. I think I'd be more useful there. I was a TA in college." Piper explains.
"Oh, what's that, like, "tits" and "ass?"" he laughs.
"I'm just saying that I know something about teaching." Piper says.
"Look, you've been assigned electrical for a couple of weeks now. You got your slack off time and now you gotta focus." Luschek mutters.
"I don't know the first thing about electrical work." Piper says.
"Uh, repeat after me, "Don't electrocute yourself."" He says.
"Don't electrocute yourself." Piper repeats.
"There. Now you know the first thing. Here, read this. Then fix this." He explains and hands Piper a lamp and a book. "The light turns on, you can call it a day. That goes for all of you newts. Read, fix the lamp, go away. That's your day, that's your job." Luschek says.
"Jobs pay. This is bullshit." Janae scoffs.
"You're making 11 cents an hour." Luschek says.
"Right. So I could, like, save up and buy a $6 Pepsi at the company store?" Janae scoffs.
"Pepsi, $5.75." Flaca says.
"It's bullshit. I ain't picking cotton." Janae says. Luschek rolls his eyes.
"God, you're one of THEM." He mutters.
"Bet your ass I am. I ain't no slave. Those days are over." Janae grins.
"Fine. Sit in the cage and check out the tools. In other words, sit on your ass and do nothing all day. You think you can handle that?" he asks.
"You speakin' my language. That's what I'm talking about." Janae replies and gets into the tool cage.
"I need a wrench." Reece says. Janae takes Reece's chit and gives her a wrench.
Luschek claps sarcastically. "Voila! The monkey can dance." He laughs.
"What'd you call me?" Janae scoffs.
"You lose a tool, you go to SHU. Anyway, time for my nap." He mutters and goes to his desk.
"Could I get a screwdriver please?" Piper asks Janae.
Meanwhile, Larry goes to Pete and Polly's house where he meets Maury Kind. "We have a stray here…" Pete says.
"Oh?" Larry asks with confusion.
"Larry, this is our friend, Maury." Polly smiles.
"Hi. Yeah, Maury Kind. I'm sorry, you're not a stray. You're Maury Kind from NPR!" Larry smiles excitedly and shakes Maury's hand repeatedly.
"Guilty." Maury laughs. "Oh, my God, I love you. I love your show. I mean, I love…I love you." Larry stutters nervously.
"Thank you." Maury chuckles.
"Wow. Back off, Larry." Polly laughs.
"Sorry, sorry. I cannot believe you guys know Maury Kind and that I'd get to meet him in the flesh." Larry smiles excitedly.
"Alright, let's sit and get chatting." Pete says and they sit in the living room.
"Pete has told me few things about your situation. So how is this whole thing with Piper going?" Maury asks.
"Uh…so, yeah, you know, we both decided to stick it out, you know. I mean, it hasn't been easy, but you know, relationships are not easy. Right?" Larry begins nervously.
"Right. Yeah. Well, I thought your column about edging was very…unique. I think you're a good writer. But uh, Pete mentioned you were offered to do an article about your situation and I got this image. You know, the long-suffering husband." Maury begins
"Fiancé. And I mean, I didn't really mean to come across that way. I can't believe Pete would describe me like that." Larry mutters. Pete shrugs.
"No. No, no, no, it was very entertaining. I think it's good. It's interesting." Maury says.
"Thank you. Yeah." Larry smiles.
"Yeah." Maury nods.
"Well, I'm a big fan of yours. I mean… well yeah, I love your show and I was just listening to the one on road trips. Actually, Maury, um I was thinking that my story would work really well aloud." Larry begins nervously.
"Right." Maury says.
"You know, 'cause I consider myself a much better verbal storyteller." Larry continues.
"Right. So what are you saying?" Maury asks.
"I didn't know if you ever were open to maybe doing a prison episode. You know, if you ever had guests like me on. Pete said you'd be interested in that." Larry hints.
"Yeah. The thing is though, if we wanted to document prison, we'd probably talk to actual inmates. And if we were gonna do a story about someone whose loved one was in prison, we'd find a more representative example. Cycle of poverty, that sort of thing." Maury explains.
"Right. Yeah, no, that...I get it. That makes sense. I get it. Then why exactly are we here?" Larry stutters.
"Well we are working on a show about unique long-distance relationships. You know, a guy who works down on the ice every year, a pair of married missionaries. Your story could be good on that. It's what I briefly mentioned to Pete." Maury explains.
"Really?" Larry gasps.
"Yeah." Maury smiles.
"Wow. Yeah. I mean... wow I would love that. I mean, I would love to do that. Thank you!" Larry smiles with excitement.
Meanwhile Piper has difficulty trying to fix the lamp. "What the?" Piper mutters to herself.
"Hey, how about a lunch break, Chapman?" Nicky offers.
"Oh, God. Yes, please." Piper sighs with relief and she unintentionally places a screwdriver in her jacket pocket and goes outside with Nicky and they sit at a table. Nicky hands Piper a sandwich. "Thanks." Piper smiles.
"Bologna." Nicky says.
Piper takes a big bite. "Mmm…" Piper sighs with enjoyment.
"Like your lunch?" Nicky chuckles.
"I'm not complaining." Piper says.
"You learn fast. So, how's it going?" Nicky asks.
"I can't get my lamp to turn on." Piper explains.
"Yeah, long day for you. Well, I, on the other hand, am feeling great job satisfaction. My hole in the wall goes very deep. So, how's your mental health?" Nicky replies.
"You know, I can't shake the feeling that at the end of the day I'm gonna be able to go home. And, like, in the morning, when I wake up, there are these few seconds before I realize where I am, and then I do realize, and I can't breathe. And I wanna cry and throw shit and kill myself. When does that end?" Piper asks.
Nicky sighs. "I'll let you know."
"Man, it's hot out here. Aren't you hot?" Piper asks and she removes her jacket and places it on the seat beside her.
"Oh Piper, I give you lunch and you're already stripping for me. You wanna eat my sandwich?" Nicky winks.
Piper laughs. "Oh Nicky…"
"Lunch is over, ladies. Back in." Luschek shouts.
"No, but we just sat down." Piper gasps.
"And now you can get up and get back to work. Speaking of which, what the fuck are you doing in there, Nichols?" Luschek replies.
"I'm makin you a glory hole, Luschek." Nicky scoffs.
"Then, by all means, carry on. Come on. Back inside." He grunts.
Piper and Nicky then get up and go back inside. Piper is unaware she left her jacket out by the bench.
Meanwhile in her office, Miss Figueroa is drinking her coffee and Mr Healy enters. "Miss Figueroa…" he says.
"Gosh, what is it Sam? I'm extremely busy." She says.
"This will just take a minute…I know we have a budget situation…but the chapel…" he begins.
"Jesus! Sam, I can't fix everything around here! I'm trying the very best I can to get everything up and running again." Fig sighs.
"With all do respect, the chapel has no reason to be closed. No work has been done to it besides a basic paintjob in less than 24 hours." Healy says.
She chuckles. "Oh Sam…I'm willing to let you off the hook, maybe an extra 5% in your payslip?" she says, offering a bribe to keep him quiet.
"Sure. Whatever. Thank you Fig." he sighs and walks out.
Fig laughs to himself. "Man, this can be fun sometimes…" she says sarcastically.
~Flashback~
~Daddy's girl~
When Natalie was eight, her father was now running for a role in the federal election campaign and her mother was extremely overbearing. Her mother had taken control over Natalie and her husband, making sure she was in control of everything they did.
Natalie began to despise and loathe her mother. "Daddy, I don't want to stay home with mommy, can't I come with you?" Natalie begs.
"Natty, Daddy has to go to work. Mommy will be okay I promise. Just be on your best behaviour. Okay my princess?" her father smiles.
Once her father left, her mother shouted " Natalie! I order you to help the maid tidy the house. I don't want you to grow up "lower-class" style but that maid, Maria, is useless!"
Natalie hated this. "But mother! Father said I can stay in my room away from you!" Natalie cries.
"Well I don't care! You're my rotten kid too, so you gotta do what I say!" her mother grunts.
"I hate you!" Natalie grunts.
Her mother slaps her across the face. Natalie runs to her room and cries. Her mother doesn't move. She isn't fazed but at the same time is very shocked.
~End of flashback~
Once the girls return back inside, Piper gets back to work. "Okay…so… "Put the body in the base and turn it" hmm…all right…okay." Piper says as she follows the book and tries fixing the lamp. She then screams as she gets zapped. "Ow!" she screams.
"Aw, it's like free shock therapy. You might lose your short-term memory, but it's a sweet escape." Nicky laughs.
"Five minutes. Work's done. Wrap it up, ladies." Luschek says.
"Already? But I couldn't make my lamp work." Piper says.
"So? You'll try again tomorrow." He says.
"But you said…" Piper begins.
"I say a lot of shit, then I wanna go home. So, clean up, return your tools." He scoffs. Piper rolls her eyes. Janae shakes the cage, wanting to be let out. "Uh-uh. You get out of the cage when all the tools are back in." he says before making monkey noises in a teasing manner.
"Yeah, keep that up. Gonna throw some shit at you, cracker." Janae scoffs.
Suddenly the alarm buzzes. "Hit the floor, ladies." Luschek demands.
"What the hell is going on?" Piper asks with worry.
"When the alarm goes off, you have to lay face-down on the ground." Nicky explains.
"Why?" Piper asks.
"Because the white man said so." Janae scoffs.
"She's right." Nicky says and they get on the floor.
Moments later, it is revealed it was a false alarm. "Alright get up! It was a false alarm. It was a drill or something." Luschek mutters and the girls stand up. "What are you waiting for?" he asks Janae.
"A screwdriver…" Janae says.
"Ah shit…" he scoffs. The girls look around with worry. "Come on, this is ridiculous. The screwdriver is missing? Someone's gotta have it!" he snaps.
"I don't know." Janae says.
"Where's the list of names?" he asks.
"What do you mean?" she replies.
"I told you for every chit that comes in, there has to be a name written down." He explains.
"You did not tell me that. You told me to take the chit – give the tool – get the tool back – give back the chit. I fucking did that." She scoffs.
Luschek shouts with anger. "Who the hell has it?"
"I don't know." Janae says.
"God! Fuck!" he grunts with frustration and he pulls the alarm. "This is not a drill!" he shouts.
Caputo, Donaldson and Mendez then enter shortly after.
"Ladies. A screwdriver is considered a deadly weapon. That is another five years on your sentence if you are caught with it in your possession." Caputo explains.
"I don't like being threatened for something I didn't do." Janae scoffs.
"No. I'm not threatening you, I'm informing you of the facts." Caputo says.
"Sounds like a threat to me. I already told you, I don't have it." Janae assures them.
"I put her in charge of the tools, it's her fault. She's the most likely suspect." Luschek explains.
"Yo, don't be tryin' to pass the buck on me, it's your fuckin' job. I'm just a monkey in a cage, remember?" Janae scoffs.
"Oh, no, no, I think that she means her…" Piper tries to defend her.
"No, I don't need you translating for me, Honey Boo Boo." Janae snaps. Piper puts her head down.
"Be quiet! If you had done your job correctly, we would know who is responsible for this theft." Caputo says. Janae stresses out. She is innocent. "I want all these women searched." Caputo says.
"I don't know about these other bitches, but no man-guard is patting me down and coppin' a feel." Janae scoffs.
"Of course, as is your right. Donaldson, take her down to SHU and let her wait there until we can find a female officer to conduct a thorough, thorough search." Caputo says.
Officer Donaldson then grabs Janae and begins to drag her out. "Don't touch me, I can walk out myself. Yo, motherfucker is a drunk! Yo, smell his breath! Yo, motherfucker is a drunk!" Janae scoffs referring to Luschek as she is taken away.
Caputo looks at Luschek and Luschek acts innocent. "Anyone else have a problem with a male officer? If you cooperate, it tells me you have nothing to hide. If you know who took this weapon and do not speak up, you will be considered an accomplice and charged accordingly. If your memory is jogged, you all know where my office is." Caputo explains.
Mendez feels up the girls. Mendez comes up behind Piper and molests her during the search. He chuckles. "Yep, they're good." He says.
"Sir, I really don't think Janae is responsible…I think that this is a simple misunderstanding." Piper says trying to save Janae.
"Chapman! I'm writing you a SHOT!" Caputo says. A SHOT is a disciplinary slip given to an inmate who violates a code or procedure. The most common reason for an inmate to receive a shot is disobeying a staff member. If an inmate receives too many shots, they will have to go in front of the Disciplinary Board to discuss whether or not a transfer to SHU, Maximum Security or Psych is needed.
"What?" Piper gasps.
"Everyone return to camp, report back here tomorrow." He says and approaches Luschek. "Someone is going down for this." He assures him and then leaves.
Piper and Nicky and the others then begin to make their way back to their dorms. "Jesus Christ, that was scary. Did he touch your tit? Can he do that?" Piper asks.
"Cupped my ass." Nicky sighs.
"Who do you think took it?" Piper asks.
Nicky shrugs. "You think your angry friend, Janae, took it?" Nicky asks.
"I wouldn't say that she's my friend. I say, "Hi," she says, "Shut the fuck up." I say, "Hey, how's it going?" She sucks her teeth, maybe calls me "bitch" or "you Taylor Swift-ass motherfucker." I don't know why people say that. But we're on our way." Piper lightly laughs.
"That's just fucking racist, you look nothing like Taylor Swift. We do not all look alike, despite what they think." Nicky laughs.
"Is SHU really that bad?" Piper asks with concern for Janae. "It's just like the Hamptons, only fucking horrible." Nicky says sarcastically.
"Okay, yeah, that was a dumb question. A lady next door to me in there ate a rat, a live rat, 'cause it bit her. So, she bit it back, and back, and back." Nicky explains.
Piper worries for Janae as she grabs her jacket that she had left outside and she puts it back on. She puts her hands in her pocket and her casual smile just fades away. Her heart stops. She feels the screwdriver in her pocket.
"What?" Nicky asks, noticing Chapman's face.
"Happy hour. Who's up for margaritas?" Alex says as she joins them.
"Last time I drank tequila, I woke up in Weehawken." Tricia says as she passes them.
"Yeah, isn't that where you're from?" Nicky asks.
"Fucking shithole." Tricia says and keeps walking.
"Yeah, well, Piper loves tequila." Alex smiles.
"I gotta go." Piper says nervously and leaves in a hurry.
"What? Afraid I'll tell them the pork chop story?" Alex laughs.
"Yeah, this is fuckin' weird, okay? I have a pork chop story, too. You go first." Nicky laughs.
Piper rushes back to her cube and sits on her bed. She is freaking out.
"They're under the bed." Claudette says.
"What?" Piper mutters.
"Your books. I don't like clutter." Claudette mumbles.
"Yeah. No, clutter's the worst." Piper says distractedly.
"You get hit on the head today?" Claudette asks with confusion.
"Okay." Piper nods, still out of it.
"Yo! Dump your shit, they're doing a sweep." Poussey warns them as she rushes by.
Piper freaks out and reveals the screwdriver to Miss Claudette. "My God. What did you do?" Claudette whispers with anger.
"I don't know. I literally I do not know. It was a mistake. I can't believe Fuck! Fuck!" Piper mutters freaking out.
Claudette takes the screwdriver and places it in her mini water boiler on her cupboard.
"Outside! Both of you." Mendez grunts. They quickly march outside of their cube. "This is a mandatory random bunk inspection. I need to thoroughly search your cubicle for contraband." Mendez explains. He enters and starts humming as he messes up the cube on purpose, knowing Claudette hates mess. He walks over to boiling water. He sniffs. He steps out. Piper cringes with worry. "All clear." He mutters.
Claudette and Piper then re-enter their cube. "What were you thinking?" Claudette gasps.
"My sweatshirt was outside. I don't remember putting it in my pocket. Maybe I am losing my memory." Piper gasps.
"Jesus." Claudette grunts.
"No, I'll just tell them the truth. I'll just give it back." Piper says.
"You can't do that!" Claudette grunts.
"Why?" Piper asks. "Because here they don't believe the truth. They'll throw you in SHU and me as an accomplice." Claudette explains.
"What should I do? Should I just… Should I dump it in the yard?" Piper asks with worry.
"Suppose some nut job, like your peeing admirer, were to find it and stab your tall girlfriend in the eye. It would come back to you, and you would be an accomplice to murder. If you ever want to go home, get that screwdriver back on that wall." Claudette warns her.
This places more strain on her relationship with Claudette. "I'll handle it. I promise." Piper mutters with fear.
Fig then gathers the staff and gives them another lecture. "Gosh…I am only here a couple of days and when I'm here I'm always catching up on cleaning up all your messes that you guys allow to happen. You all need to shape up! Do your jobs! Properly! This screwdriver incident is a massive concern and we need to do all we can to find it before it is used as a weapon." Fig says.
"Yeah, well we wouldn't have as many "messes" if we had an actual normal comfortable budget to work with." Caputo says.
Fig rolls her eyes. "Jesus Christ! Joe, if you really wanna go through this I suggest we do it another time. My time is money – it's valuable. So as a warning to let you know how serious I am, Luschek – I am temporarily suspending you." She says.
"What?! That's fucking horseshit! I haven't done anything!" Luschek scoffs.
"Exactly. You did nothing, allowing a screwdriver to be stolen. And I am warning the rest of you now, do your jobs and don't slack off, because I am not afraid to fire anyone else." Fig mutters.
"But you didn't fire him, it is only temporarily right?" O'Neil asks.
"Whatever." Fig sighs.
"Gosh Natalie, this is so fucking unnecessary." Caputo says.
"I'm doing my job!" she assures him.
"No! You're running this place into the ground and one day your gonna be beneath rock bottom." Joe grunts.
"I do what I can! I have to handle all the shit that you guys can't. Funding. Budgets. Vendor changes. Renovations. Medical needs. I am fed up with the crap Joe. It's simple as that. You ALL need to do your jobs!" Natalie snaps.
Caputo scoffs and shakes his head. "You know what Natalie? You are such a bitch! all the time. You're a BITCH!" he grunts.
She smirks. "Careful Joe. You don't wanna be out of a job too, do you?" she smirks.
Joe rolls his eyes and storms out.
"Anyone else wanna express their feelings? Or have anything they wanna share?" Fig asks. No one responds. "Yeah, didn't think so…" she says and struts away.
~Flashback~
~Bully becomes the victim~
Fig was always a bully brat in school but s a teenager, Fig was bullied a lot. Before freshman year she had previously attended a lot of therapy and helped her anger. Her mother died that same year, which played a part in her depression. Her therapist had told her it was surprised anger since her mother's death. But she was now a victim. She was often beat up and rumours were always spread about her.
One day, Natalie was walking through the high school courtyard where she is stopped by a group of older popular girls.
"You know what time it is?" The leader, Chloe chuckles.
"What?" Natalie mutters with fear.
"Beat time!" Chloe replies before she and her friends beat up Natalie.
Natalie remains on the concrete with a busted lip, a bloody nose and a black eye.
"Yeah and stay down! Like your mom!" Chloe scoffs.
"Yeah! Your mom's dead! Your mom's dead!" one of the bullies, Zoe tease. Natalie cries.
"Your mom's dead!" the mean girls chant and kick her and leave.
Natalie curls up into a ball and cries.
~End of flashback~
Piper sits alone in the courtyard at a table bouncing her leg nervously as she stresses about the screwdriver.
Alex approaches her. "Hey you." Alex smiles.
"Hi." Piper sighs.
Alex notices Piper's effortless reply. "Okay you don't have to be so down…I've decided I am talking to you." Alex smiles – this gets Piper's attention.
"Really? We're good?" Piper smiles.
"Yeah." Alex smiles.
"Good." Piper smiles.
"So, are you okay? What's up?" Alex asks.
"Nothing…I…I just…I just am still processing it. This. I can't believe you're here. I'm here. I really am sorry for how I reacted when I first saw you." Piper sighs.
"Hey…it's okay." Alex assures her and grabs her hand. Piper blushes. They have developed a sweet friendship once again. "You know, to be honest…when I heard about your prison "wife" I got completely jealous…I was hoping I could be your prison wife." Alex laughs.
"Really?" Piper laughs.
"You know I'd always take you back. I have a soft spot for you. I have missed you." Alex blushes. Piper smiles.
"I have missed you too." Piper smiles.
"Yeah…but things have changed… you have a fiancé…" Alex sighs.
Piper snaps out of it. She is confused about her feelings. "Right. I gotta go." Piper says and leaves in a hurry.
"See you around." Alex smiles.
Piper rushes inside and to clear her head, she calls Larry. "Hey Pipes." Larry says.
"Hey." Piper smiles.
"How are you? What's the prison gossip?" Larry replies.
"Uh, nothing…nothing… I uh…I don't know." Piper mutters.
"Really? That's odd." Larry chuckles.
The conversation seems awkward. They both don't want to tell each other something. "So what about you? How's Polly? She hasn't returned my calls." Piper says.
"Yeah Polly is great. Actually, she and Pete have hooked me up with Maury Kind." Larry reveals, deciding to be honest with her.
"Maury Kind? Like the radio host? Larry are you cheating on me with Larry Kind? Because I always had a feeling he was gay." Piper says.
"No, actually I'm gonna be on his show." Larry reveals.
"Really? Oh my gosh honey that's amazing." Piper smiles with surprise. Larry is surprised by her reaction so far.
"Really? Yeah it's uh…yeah it's great." Larry smiles.
"What's the story gonna be about?" Piper asks.
"Uh, it's uh…actually about us…about our situation…" Larry reveals.
"What?" Piper gasps.
"Piper…" he sighs.
"We talked about this Larry…I told you I didn't know how I felt about MY story becoming public and now your telling me you want to announce it on PUBLIC RADIO?" Piper gasps.
"Piper…I know how you feel about this but I need the work. I couldn't pass up this amazing opportunity for myself." Larry explains.
"Amazing for you maybe…what about me Larry?" Piper mutters.
"Piper. I am sorry. I really am." Larry sighs. Piper quietly sobs to herself for a second. "Are you still there?" he asks.
"Yes. Yes I am here. I am very very happy for you. This is amazing." Piper sighs, biting her tongue.
"What? Really? You're okay with it?" Larry asks.
"No. I'm not okay with it. But I'm happy for you. You do what you gotta do Larry. Just don't humiliate me." Piper says.
"Okay…I won't." he laughs.
"So Larry, when is it?" Piper asks.
"It's tomorrow. Around 1pm." Larry reveals.
"Okay. I will be listening." Piper says. Larry smiles.
"Are you okay Piper?" he asks.
"I am so happy for you. I support you Larry. Congratulations this is so great for you." Piper sighs.
"For us. It's great for us. It's our story." Larry smiles.
"Right." Piper mutters and hangs up.
Larry wonders why Piper seemed so "ok" with it. He thinks it is odd. He worries it could be because of Alex.
Meanwhile, Boo finds Nicky and nudges her.
"Hey Boo." Nicky says.
"Nichols. Let me ask you something. How could you let my girl, Watson get sent to the SHU. You know I've got my eye on that!" Boo scoffs.
Nicky chuckles. "Ah jeez… Boo, no offense, but I don't think that she's interested in your butch meat." Nicky laughs.
"Oh please! I can convert that bitch, easy!" Boo chuckles.
"Sorry to say it, but I don't think so. You've lost your game." Nicky says.
"Oh no. No. No. No. Boo got game!" Boo assures her and pushes past Nicky.
Nicky chuckles. "Alright…whatever." She chuckles.
Fig goes into Caputo's office and asks why nothing has been done about the screwdriver. "One search? That's it? You conduct one search?" She scoffs.
He rolls his eyes. "What do you want from me Natalie?" Caputo mutters.
"To do your job! You aren't looking hard enough! Find me that screwdriver within 24 hours or else I'll have to file an official report to the warden." Fig explains.
"I'm tryin! Okay! I will find that screwdriver! Go take a fucking break, log onto your social media and chat to all your high-class rich political friends." Caputo scoffs.
Fig is slightly offended. "Just do your job Joe and stop trying to steal mine." She grunts and rolls her eyes then leaves.
~Flashback~
~The loner~
After being beaten up, Natalie eventually got up and made her way inside to the cafeteria. She grabbed her lunch and was frightened as she saw people staring and whispering. She tries not to cry and she rushes into the bathroom and locks herself in a toilet stall and cries and eats her lunch alone. It was humiliating. This sort of thing scars her for life.
Suddenly, two bitchy sophomores enter the bathroom and continue their gossip as Natalie remains quiet in a stall.
"See what you're sister did to that freshman? She walked in the cafeteria with a busted face!" the girl says.
"Yeah, probably served her right. No one fucks with my sister. That girl made her own bed when she chose to go down the loser road." The other girl says.
"Yeah totally, she is such a loser." The first girl giggles.
"She's pathetic!" the second girl laughs as she finishes fixing her makeup and they both leave.
Natalie comes out of the stall and stares at herself in the mirror. "Pathetic…" she sighs. Natalie then turns around and goes back into the stall where she sticks her fingers down her throat and throws up. She knows other girls do it and hopes it'll make her cool again.
~End of flashback~
Piper then tries sneaking the screwdriver to the Electrical shed but she is interrupted by Suzanne, who sings to her. "Oh Dandelion. Dandelion. You are the sweetest ray of sunshine…" Suzanne sings but Piper stops her.
"Not now Suzanne." Piper mutters.
"Alright. But real quick, we good?" Suzanne asks.
"Yes Suzanne. We've talked about this. We're good." Piper sighs. Suzanne smiles and moves along. Piper freezes with fear as she sees a few C.O.'s searching random inmates in the yard. She freaks out and she tries to rush back inside where she bumps into Mr Healy. "Oh, my God." She gasps with worry.
"Chapman." He chuckles.
"Oh, Mr Healy. Do you mind if I talk to you for a second?" Piper asks, innocently.
"Chapman, I don't wanna hear about the job thing. I put you in Electric because there's toxic mould in the G.E.D room. The education program has been suspended. That's life. Deal with it." Healy explains.
Piper looks around nervously as the other C.O.'s get closer. "I… that's actually, that's not um, what I… I actually wanted to thank you." She stutters nervously.
"Okay…" he mutters with confusion.
"Great. That's great." Piper says distractedly.
"You wanted to thank me?" he asks.
"Yes. Yeah. I mean, I haven't I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I'm gonna be able to rewire a lamp. Soon. And I'm very excited about that. I've always felt that I lacked practical skills in life and I don't know. Maybe electrical will do me good…" Piper says as she continues to become nervous as Officer O'Neil begins to walk their way.
"Are you okay, Chapman?" Healy asks, noticing her odd behaviour.
"No, no, no, I'm fine. I'm just, I'm just tired." Piper lies.
"I hear there was a problem in your shop. I hope you're staying clear of trouble." Healy says.
"Of course, of course, of course. Yeah." Piper sighs. Officer O'Neil passes by and Piper sighs with relief.
"I'm sure they'll find the culprit." Healy says.
"That's great. I gotta go. Thank you for everything." Piper sighs and rushes back inside.
Piper rushes back to her cube and she hides the screwdriver under her mattress before Miss Claudette comes back. She is then startled as Miss Claudette enters. "Gosh. You scared me." Piper gasps.
"So jumpy…" Claudette mutters.
"Yeah…" Piper sighs.
"Did you take care of that problem of yours?" Claudette asks.
Piper is hesitant to answer. "Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's all good." Piper lies nervously.
"Good. Now don't let it happen again. You're on strike two already." Claudette mutters.
Big Boo then interrupts. "Chapman." Boo says.
"Boo?" Piper asks.
Boo sits on Piper's bed. "What can I do for you? Is this about your appeal letter? Because I haven't had time…" Piper begins.
"No. I just wanted to come thank you." Boo says.
"Thank me for what?" Piper asks with confusion.
"For trying to defend Watson and getting yourself a SHOT to try and stop them from sending her to the SHU – those homophobic bastards." Boo scoffs. Piper looks at Miss Claudette in hopes that the mention of her getting a shot won't make Claudette angry. While Piper isn't looking, Boo feels the screwdriver under Piper's mattress and sneaks it into her pocket.
"But um…Boo, I don't think Janae is gay…" Piper mutters.
Boo scoffs. "Why don't you mind your own fucking business." Boo scoffs. She stands up and begins to leave. "Thanks." She chuckles.
Caputo gathers the guards and demands and explanation for not finding the screwdriver yet. "You come in here and you tell me you've come up empty? No, that's unacceptable. It's totally unacceptable. You find it." Caputo demands.
"Sir, shouldn't this be on Luschek?" Mendez mutters.
"It's Luschek's fault it's missing, it's your fault it hasn't been found. You go easy on these girls and what happens? They take advantage. These women are fucking criminals. Have you forgotten that? And don't get me started on Luschek. You know how many times I tried to fire his ass? Fucking unions were not created to protect the drunk and retarded, yet lookie here. We got a Luschek." Caputo grunts. Mendez chuckles. "It's a lot harder to laugh with a punctured lung. It goes right between the ribs." Caputo says and pokes Mendez in the ribs.
Mendez laughs. "Ticklish, sir." Mendez sighs.
Caputo rolls his eyes. "A screwdriver! It can be used to kill a C.O. It's happened before and it wouldn't surprise me if it happened again. Go tear the bunks apart. Find the fucking screwdriver!" Caputo shouts.
The guards then go into the dorms and begin to do another search. Piper freaks out – she is worried the guards will find it under her mattress. "This is a mandatory bunk inspection. I need to thoroughly search your cubicle for contraband. If you have any information, please come forward. You're as sick as your secrets, ladies. Sick as your secrets. Step outside." Mendez says.
Miss Claudette and Piper step outside of the cube as Mendez begins to search their cube. Piper is freaking out. "The screwdriver is still in there." Piper whispers to Miss Claudette.
"What?" Claudette gasps.
"I tried returning it to the shop, but they were patting people down." Piper sighs.
"You lied to me?" Claudette gasps with shock.
"I was gonna return it this morning. I didn't realize that there was gonna be a sneak attack." Piper explains.
"Where is it?" Claudette asks.
"It's under the mattress." Piper sighs.
Mendez steps out of the cube. Piper cringes with fear. "It's clean!" Mendez shouts and makes his way to the next cube. Piper gasps with relief. She is confused.
She returns to the cube and checks under her mattress. "It's gone!" Piper gasps. Claudette walks over. "I have no idea where it went. I'm losing my mind." Piper mutters.
"Jesus!" Claudette rolls her eyes.
"Am I really going crazy?" Piper mutters. Claudette stares at her. "Shit…well, either way, problem solved." Piper sighs and takes a deep breath.
"My problem is solved, yours has just begun." Claudette mutters.
"What?" Piper asks with confusion.
"You lied to me. That's strike three. I don't give more than three strikes!" Claudette grunts.
"Can you please just cut me a little bit of slack?" Piper snaps.
"Slack?" Claudette gasps.
"Yes! Slack! I have been here for about a month now. I have been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened, and called Taylor Swift. And now, you." Piper begins. Claudette isn't happy. "I am doing my best to learn the ropes. I really, really am. The screwdriver is no longer here. It cannot get you in trouble. I take full responsibility, and I may be suffering from short-term memory loss and I don't know why, so can you please just cut me some slack? Okay?" Piper continues with a snappy fed-up tone. She then gasps, realising she may have just pissed off Claudette even more and she sits on her bed.
Miss Claudette raises her eyebrows and smiles. She is impressed with Piper's effort to stand up to her and speak for herself. "Okay." Claudette smiles.
"What?" Piper asks with confusion.
"I'll cut you some slack." Claudette sighs.
"Really?" Piper gasps with surprise.
"Yes. But don't let it happen again." Claudette mutters.
"I won't. I promise." Piper assures her. "So, we're good? Are we okay? Like possible friends?" Piper mutters.
"Don't push it." Claudette smiles.
Piper makes her way to Alex's cube where she stands by the door. "Hey." Piper smiles.
"Hey you." Alex smiles back. Piper remains at the doorway awkwardly. "What, are you a vampire now? Do you need an invitation?" Alex jokes.
Piper laughs and sits beside Alex on her bed. "What are you doing?" Piper asks.
"I'm plotting my revenge on my Christian meth head roommate. If you want in." Alex reveals, referring to Leanne Taylor.
"Maybe." Piper smiles.
"You seem depressed. Even for prison." Alex says, noticing Piper's distance.
"You know, if you ever wanna talk about it…that's what the counsellors are for." Alex jokes.
"Oh my gosh, Alex." Piper laughs.
"Personally, I went on sad drugs when I got here, and they worked for a while, but now I just cheek 'em and trade 'em for black eyeliner. They make me constipated. I would rather shit and cry than strain and nap all the time." Alex explains. Piper laughs. "What's wrong? Really." Alex asks.
"He is going to be on the radio. Talking about me." Piper sighs.
"Who? The fiancé?" Alex asks.
"Mmm-hmm. "One Sentence, Two Prisoners." Apparently." Piper reveals.
"Oh, it's a terrible title." Alex scoffs.
"I know. And I'm happy for him, but he's probably got so much of it so wrong. It's my story not his. Like what is he gonna say? I'm not somebody's girlfriend. I'm not some cool story at a yuppie fucking cocktail party. "You did a year in the Peace Corps? I did a year in prison." Fuck, no! Those things we did, you and me, that wasn't adventure or a romp. That was my life." Piper vents.
"You want me to kill him?" Alex snickers.
Piper smiles. "How?" Piper laughs.
"I may be a lesbian in a prison bunk, but I got a couple tricks up my sleeve." Alex laughs. Piper sighs. "Tell me about him. The fiancé." Alex says.
"You want to know about Larry?" Piper mutters.
"I want to know everything about you. About who makes you happy and is taking care of you." Alex says.
"Larry is a writer. He is a goofy, funny, adorable, romantic guy. But I'm in here and things have changed. He isn't taking care of me. I'm taking care of myself." Piper sighs.
"I'll take care of you." Alex says.
"Ugh. I feel like I am missing so much." Piper sighs as she looks into Alex's eyes.
"Me, too." Alex blushes and their hands touch. Alex caresses Piper's hand and they smile deep into each other's eyes.
That night Larry, Polly and Pete go to the bar to celebrate. "You guys ever notice how, once you're a couple, you pretty much only hang out with other couples? A guy, a girl and another guy? It just looks weird." Larry says with worry.
"People probably just assume you're divorced." Polly jokes.
"Oh. Great, so, I look divorced, which conveys sadness and ex-wife shit and lawyers' fees, or I look single, which must mean there's something wrong with me." Larry explains.
"Like, you keep large reptiles in tanks." Pete laughs.
"Or I have a very special relationship with my mother. I just look like a loser." Larry sighs.
"Why don't you switch seats with Pete? You're okay being a loser, right, babe?" Polly smiles.
"I don't wanna look like a loser." Pete says.
"Okay, now look, what am I complaining about, right? I mean, seriously, you know? We're sitting here, we're gonna enjoy some small plates, while Piper sits in prison." Larry sighs.
"You know what? Fuck Piper. She's in prison and it sucks. Let's also stipulate there are children are dying of diarrhoea in Malawi. That doesn't mean we don't get to complain about our lives. I am pregnant and the heat in our apartment is always too high and it gives me nosebleeds, and that is happening. Pete isn't getting laid and he's grown that horrible beard. You look like a loser. We're all allowed to feel shitty about things in our lives that are shitty. And happy about things that are awesome." Polly says, snapping him out of it.
"Like this awesome beard!" Pete smiles.
"Ugh. And your column, Larry." Polly smiles.
"What? That's happening? What about Maury Kind?" Pete asks.
"Yeah well, I'm doing both. Who can resist a "Felonious Fiancé" story, right?" Larry chuckles.
"Yeah, it's, it's totally happening. New York Times, baby. "Modern Love." It's so exciting." Polly smiles excitedly.
"That's huge!" Pete agrees.
"Yeah." Larry sighs.
"Does Piper know? Is she cool about it?" Pete asks.
"I mean, sort of. Yeah, I mean, she's sorting out her feelings, I guess, you know. She was acting a little weird after I told her about Maury Kind so… I don't know. I probably shouldn't tell her. Right?" Larry stutters.
"Right. She'll be fine. Now come on, let's celebrate." Polly smiles.
"To Larry starring on Maury fucking Kind. Good luck." Pete cheers as he raises his glass.
The next day, Luschek sneaks into the Electrical shed and retrieves a screwdriver from a plastic bag. He has replaced the missing one in order to get his job back.
Caputo enters. "You told me to meet you here." Caputo sighs.
"I found the screwdriver sir. It was under the sink this whole time." Luschek lies.
"Thank fuck!" Caputo sighs with relief.
"Yes, did I do good or what?" Luschek asks.
"You got your job back." Caputo says and leaves.
Fig goes into Caputo's office. "Congratulations Joe. You found the screwdriver." Fig says.
"Yes we did." Caputo sighs.
"And its about fucking time too." Natalie scoffs.
"So are you going to apologize for being such a bitch to us?" Caputo asks.
"Apologize? God no. I meant it. None of this would have happened if you and your men were doing your job." Fig says.
"Fine. Whatever. Are you at least going to do the conclusive paper work?" he asks.
She laughs. "Sorry Joe, but I'm late to a prior engagement. I'm having cocktails." Fig smirks and struts out. Caputo rolls his eyes.
"Fucking alcoholic!" he scoffs to himself.
~Flashback~
~Never take someone for granted~
On her way home from school Natalie cries due to her being bullied and when she gets home she tries to talk to her drunken father. He became an alcoholic after his campaign didn't work out.
"What are you crying about, sugar tits?" Her father scoffs.
"Everyone hates me." She cries.
"That's true. You're a nasty little bitch Natalie. Everyone hates you. Even your mother hated you." He grunts.
Natalie cries as he continues to abuse her. She runs up to her room and she cries, staring at a picture of her mom. She misses her mom more than ever and regrets being such a bitch to her. "I'm sorry mom, I am so…so sorry. I miss you so much." She gets up and looks at herself in the mirror. "I'm gonna change my life. I have to. I can't keep going like this…" she tells herself.
Several weeks later, Natalie stood up to her bullies and became a bulimic popular girl.
In her senior year, her father passed away from liver failure. She used her inheritance to pay her way through college and she got her shit together. Her next goal was to get a boyfriend. She had sex with lots of guys over her high school and college years but never actually had a solid relationship.
~End of flashback~
Later that day, Piper sneaks over to Alex's cube, where Alex is staring at the ceiling. "There you are! Come be my little spoon." Alex smiles.
Piper smiles and lays beside Alex. "Gosh! How do you sleep on this thing? Even my mattress isn't this bad." Piper sighs.
"Not well." Alex scoffs.
"I forgot to mention, I told Larry I was okay with his story on me…" Piper reveals.
"What?" Alex gasps.
"Yep. I'm an idiot." Piper sighs.
"I am proud of you." Alex says.
"Yeah?" Piper asks.
"Yeah. That was really brave. I mean, it was dumb, but brave." Alex explains.
"You know, I don't think that anyone has ever used that word to describe me in the history of the universe." Piper smiles.
"I'm glad we have each other in here, kid." Alex smiles.
"Yeah, me, too." Piper smiles. They smile into each others eyes for a moment. "I mean, I'd rather be on a beach in Tahiti, but this is a close second." Piper jokes. Alex laughs. "Why do you always feel so inevitable to me?" Piper sighs.
"I heart you." Alex reveals.
"You heart me?" Piper asks.
"Yeah." Alex smiles.
"What is that? Is that like "I love you" for pussies?" Piper jokes.
"Say "pussy" again." Alex laughs.
"I heart you, too." Piper smiles. They stare into each others eyes. They both want to kiss. Piper goes to lean in to kiss Alex but she fights it. She quickly sits up. "Shit!" Piper gasps.
"What?" Alex asks as she sits up too.
"It's time. It's time for Larry's show. Oh shit!" Piper says nervously.
"Oh shit." Alex laughs.
"Do you have a radio?" Piper asks.
"Yeah." Alex smiles and grabs her radio and hands Piper an earphone.
"Are you gonna be okay to listen to this thing together?" Piper asks.
"I mean, I don't think it's against the rules." Alex replies.
"Okay." Piper smiles and they both listen as the interview begins. Other inmates too listen in on the radio intrigued with what "white girl's fiancé" might say.
The radio program starts off like this,
"Chances are, most of you have been there. It starts with two people in love. You make a lot of promises; tell each other you're different from the rest, the exception. For a month or two, the long, meandering conversations feel foreign and exciting. A chance to get to know one another in a more intimate level. And then, slowly, so slowly you might not even notice, conversations are replaced by missed calls and resentful voicemails. And then finally, the day comes when the two of you admit that you aren't, in fact, the exception. That being far away from the person you love most is difficult on the good days and impossible on the bad ones. Today, we're exploring long-distance relationships and talking with a few New Yorkers who are currently navigating these treacherous waters. I'm Maury Kind, encouraging you to take a break from life and join us, won't you?" Maury Kind begins. "Our guest today Larry Bloom, who's fiancé is in a women's prison. Larry, welcome." Maury says.
"Thank you very much for having me." Larry says.
"Larry, why don't you tell us how this all started." Maury says.
"Sure. Well my fiancé and I, Piper, we were having our coffee, reading the paper. And all of a sudden there are two huge guys with badges at our front door. Piper wasn't even dressed. You never expect to be in your pyjamas the moment your life changes forever. That's true, isn't it? At the very least you'd have underwear on, hopefully." Larry begins.
Maury chuckles. "And how did you feel once you started to understand that she'd actually committed the crime? That your fiancé was an indicted criminal?" Maury asks.
"I was blindsided, that's for sure. But it's like anything, eventually it starts to feel normal. You figure out the right words to say to other people. You adjust." Larry explains.
"I have to assume that Piper is much more fortunate than a lot of the women in there with her. You're able to drive up to see her, you have resources, family." Maury says.
"Yeah. Yeah. We're very lucky. I see her a lot." Larry says.
"What are your visits like?" Maury asks.
"You know. She catches me up on all the latest prison gossip. Which is actually highly entertaining." Larry chuckles.
"Really?" Maury asks.
"Yeah." Larry replies.
"Can you tell us some of your favourite stories?" Maury asks.
"Oh, man. Well, I think my favourite is one of the first. This insane girl, like, actually insane, the kind of person who belongs in a psychiatric hospital not a prison, but that's a whole other discussion. She decides that Piper is going to be her wife. She followed her around for days. Wrote her this horrible poem. Really became obsessive." Larry begins – referring to Piper's experience with Suzanne.
"Do things like that concern you in terms of Piper's safety?" Maury asks.
"Of course. Yeah, of course. Absolutely. I know she can handle herself, but when you're dealing with unstable women, you have no idea what they're actually capable of. I mean, when your fiancé says that she sleeps with one eye open because her roommate is rumoured to be a murderer and might shiv her in her sleep, it's impossible not to be scared." Larry explains – referring to Miss Claudette.
"Wow." Maury comments.
"And I don't want to imply that they're all crazy and dangerous. There's one girl who should've been a track star. She was actually gonna start training again while she was in there, but they shut the track down because of budget cuts but my Pipes got it open again. There's the girl who has been planning her wedding for months, just like everything is normal. But she is or was also sleeping with the hot, lesbian junkie. How's that for a prison cliché? I mean, the cast of characters goes on and on. There is the crazy old Russian woman who runs the kitchen, totally terrifying, but she takes so much pride in feeding everyone. You really have to admire the way these women find meaning in their days. How they take care of each other." Larry explains.
"I'd like to talk about the idea of female prison tropes, if we could. It certainly seems that sexual abuse and rape are very real threats. And then, of course, there's the consensual sex. Did you and Piper make any agreements before she left?" Maury asks.
"Agreements? Well, pardon the pun, were any "get out of jail free" cards handed out? No. I'm very committed to the relationship." Larry explains.
"How about for her?" Maury asks.
"No. No, we never discussed any agreements. Which was probably naive of us. You know, it's funny, whenever we talked about cheating in an abstract way, I always said I wouldn't care if she had sex with someone else, if it's just sex." Larry says.
"But suppose, theoretically, that someone she loved was in there with her. Someone she had history with. Someone who could understand her life in there in a way that I'll never be able to." Maury continues.
"It would be devastating to think that that person could give her something that I can't. It would be way worse than just sex. It would be… it would be a betrayal." Larry sighs.
Piper is shocked. She removes the earphone. "He knows." She gasps.
"Knows what?" Alex asks.
"About this. About us getting close again." Piper says.
"Come on, let's go eat. It's gonna be okay." Alex says.
Meanwhile, Big Boo makes use of the screwdriver and turned it into a dildo to masturbate with.
In the cafeteria, Piper awkwardly passes by the inmates staring at her. She passes by Taystee. "Yo, I hope you're happy. Crazy Eyes is in her bed crying her eyes out cause of what you man said!" Taystee says. Alex pulls Piper away and sits at a table with Morello, Nicky, DeMarco and Yoga Jones.
"Oh, fuck!" Nicky warns.
Piper looks over and sees Miss Claudette is angry, raged, upset. She heard the radio show. She storms over to Piper. Piper stands up as Claudette stomps in front of her. "I am so, so, so sorry. I had no idea that he was gonna say those things." Piper sighs.
"Is that what you think of me?" Claudette gasps and tears up.
Piper is silent. She doesn't want to lie. "I'm sorry." Piper sighs. Claudette cries and walks away. Piper remains, her face fills with a fed-up, hated, revengeful look. She grabs Alex's hand. Larry fucked her prison life so she's going to retaliate.
"What?" Alex asks.
"Let's get out of here." Piper demands.
Piper drags Alex to the old chapel, where they sneak in. Alex is confused. "Are you okay? What are we doing here?" Alex asks. The chemistry between them is so strong. The passionate tension fills the air. Piper grabs Alex and kisses her. They passionately begin to make out. Before proceeding to have passionate sex like they used to. Piper removes Alex's khaki shirt before Alex then removes Piper's.
Alex kisses down Piper's neck and lightly bites like she used to. This drives Piper crazy as she lets out a moan. She's clearly missed this. Alex slipped her tongue into Piper's mouth and her thigh between Piper's legs, and her orgasm was immediate thunder. She's never had anyone love her for exactly who she was before, besides Alex. No one could ever make her feel the way Alex did.
"You're getting close already? Perhaps orgasms could be emotional too? Indeed I had just proven it!" Alex giggles.
Piper blushes with embarrassment over her sudden quick orgasm. "I'm nowhere near done!" Piper smiles. Piper didn't stop her hand from running up Alex's leg. Alex's pussy started getting warm. Piper missed the feeling of Alex's warm cunt.
"I want you to eat my pussy, Pipes!" Alex moans. "It's been so long since I've gotten any action and I'm so tired of playing with my clit."
Piper looked at Alex's white legs and tried to remember what she tasted like. "I'm a little rusty…" Piper says
"Let's test your memory…" Alex smiles. In less than five minutes, they were completely out of their uniforms and straddling each other in the middle of the stage. They kept on kissing and touching each other and before Piper even realized what was happening, she was climaxing. It felt like being beat by ocean waves — but in a good way. The waves crashed and crashed over her and she felt out of control like she was drowning but she knew she was safe here in Alex's arms.
Alex giggles. "You done yet?"
"I'm sorry I can't control it. I'm nowhere near done! Stand up." Piper assures her. Piper gets downs on her knees as Alex leans back on the lectern. Alex got so excited. So Piper started by slowly licking Alex's pussy. Alex moaned as Piper could feel her getting hot and damp. Just smelling her made Piper's pussy quiver. Piper lightly traced her pussy lips with her tongue. She was smooth and tight with a nice big clit. Alex kept moving her hips, trying to get Piper's tongue on that swollen clit. "Get on the floor!" Piper instructed her, so she did. Alex lies on the floor of the stage and got comfortable. Piper started tonguing Alex's pussy hole while her thumb circled her clit.
Alex was moaning. "Suck my clit, Pipes! Please!" She begged. So Piper started licking her from her asshole to her clit. Then she latched on to that huge clit and sucked while she fingered her. She started to cum. So Piper fucked her fast. She squirted. Piper raised her face up and kissed her while still fingering her pussy. It was so warm and wet.
"Now you're turn, Alex. My pussy is aching" Piper moans and she makes a pillow out of their uniforms and puts it under Alex's head and straddled Alex's face. Alex started eating Piper's cunt like she used to. Piper was rocking back and forth, feeling a build up. She was moaning. It felt so good to have Alex's tongue in her pussy again. Piper's clit rubbed against Alex's nose.
Alex stopped. "I'm going to ride your pussy. So just lay there, ok? I promise, you'll like it." She says.
"Oh, okay." Piper giggles and rolls over. Alex straddled her, and positioned her pussy above Piper's. They both put their fingers between their pussies, rubbing their fingers between each other. Piper's clit got hard. Alex left her fingers in Piper's hole and started grinding her clit against hers. Alex was grinding hard. Piper started screaming and moaning and squeezing her nipples while Alex fucked her, grinding her pussy hard against Piper's as her fingers massaged her clit. They were both coming. "Alex, I'm coming! I'm coming!" Piper squirms.
Alex humped her pussy fast and hard. She could feel Piper squirting on her pussy as she was coming over and over. Piper moans as she climaxed. "Fuck! Pipes, I'm coming! Oh my god!" Alex groans. Alex came. Her pussy juice ran over Piper.
Afterwards, they both lay in the floor, panting, exhausted. Wowed by that epic fuck. It was like the first time all over again for them both.
"Wow..." Alex sighs, catching her breathe.
"Yeah…wow…" Piper pants.
Episode Eleven:
A Whole Other Side to Prison
Piper sits across from Mr Healy in his office, listening to him chuckle about Larry's radio show.
"Mr Healy…please…" Piper sighs.
"I'm sorry. What do you want?" Healy asks.
"I am requesting to be transferred to another room." Piper says.
"Why?" Healy asks.
"Because I have had like more than three strikes with Miss Claudette and she is extremely angry and upset with me right now. I'm scared. I'm scared she might hurt me." Piper explains.
Healy chuckles. "Chapman. Let me make this perfectly clear. You do not get special treatment just because your Litchfield's most hated celebrity. I'm sorry. Now go, stop wasting my time." Healy mutters. Piper sighs with worry.
Bennett is doing the morning count in the Spanish dorm, and he and Daya smile at each other. His attention is then drawn to Aleida, who is smiling at him too without Daya noticing.
After count, Aleida approaches him. "Hey." She says.
"Hi…" he replies.
"How's it going?" Aleida asks.
"I'm sorry…I'm not really supposed to talk to the inmates." Bennett sighs and walks off.
"Aye! The fucking young ones." Aleida scoffs and rolls her eyes.
~Flashback~
~Boy becomes a man~
As a teenager, John Bennett was in Military school. He was such a softy, he was scared but due to his ex-veteran father, he must deal with the hard work and tough punishment in Military School.
His colonel tells him to man up, noticing Bennett's fear. "What's wrong with you sissy boy?" the colonel asks.
"Nothing." Bennett mutters.
"Oh fancy pants has attitude. This ain't your regular high school. You are here to become a REAL man." The colonel says.
"Right. I am here to become a real man…because my father said so." Bennett mutters.
"Wack off the attitude and give me forty push-ups right now!" the colonel orders.
Bennett drops to the ground and starts the push-ups.
~End of flashback~
Piper then goes to the kitchen and tries to make things right with Red for Larry saying that stuff about her. "Red. I am so sorry. What Larry said was…" Piper begins.
"It is true, what he said. It's no problem. I can live with being a crazy, Old Russian." Red chuckles. Piper sighs with relief and plans on apologizing to everyone.
Alex goes to see Miss Claudette. "May I come in?" Alex asks.
"If you must…" Claudette mutters.
"Look, I know your upset with Piper. But her fiancé, Larry, he's an idiot. He doesn't get it. He doesn't know you. Or anything about you. He's a liar." Alex explains.
"He only said what he was told. Piper must really think that low of me to tell him such a thing." Claudette grunts.
"Please don't be mad at Piper. You can't blame her, this isn't her fault. People lie and tell stories and they filled her head with crap. She got scared is all. But I do know, that Piper was so relieved and happy when she thought she could be your friend." Alex reveals and she leaves. Claudette remains on her bed and thinks.
Mendez comes to the kitchen, Red is surprised since he hasn't been bothering her in a few days.
"Hey Red. Miss me?" he scoffs.
"I was getting used to the peace and quiet." Red mutters.
"I've been working on something. You better keep a close eye on one of your girls and help her before Caputo finds out. Because this particular girl is heading downhill real quick." Mendez says.
"You're bluffing! My girls are clean." Red assures him.
Mendez smirks and he pulls out a bag of drugs. "I've been selling as per usual and one of your girls are a star customer. You don't have a lot of time. I'm giving you another chance here to work with me and help me get my shit in." Mendez says.
"I'm sorry. But let me warn you, my girls are clean. And my army will take you down." Red declines and warns him.
He laughs. "Your army? You little group of misfits…good luck with that Red. You are making a big mistake." Mendez says and then leaves. Red begins to worry.
Piper goes to Alex's cube and sits with her in frustration. "Pipes, cool down. It's going to be okay." Alex sighs, trying to comfort her.
"No it's not. Claudette is gonna kill me!" Piper reveals with fear.
Alex hugs and assures her it's going to be okay. They both haven't spoken about what happened in the chapel since.
Bennett is called into Caputo's office. Bennett nervously sits and wonders what this is about. "Bennett, I've called you here because I am concerned." Caputo begins.
"About what sir?" Bennett asks.
"You've been walking around here with a big smile on your face and it's just weird. No one is that happy to come to work!" Caputo says.
Bennett becomes nervous. "I guess I just enjoy coming to a paid job. And there is never a dull moment." Bennett lies.
"Well let's hope it is just that. You have not observed or participated in any inappropriate activity or relation with an inmate?" Caputo asks.
"No, sir." Bennett says.
"It's because, in here, inappropriate can mean a smile at the wrong time, Bennett. These women are hungry, if you get my meaning." Caputo explains.
"Yes, sir." Bennett replies nervously.
"They want sex, is what I mean." Caputo continues.
"Understood, sir." Bennett says.
"Good. Because, I wouldn't want you getting involved with an inmate. I also don't want you making friends with the other staff, because they are not your friends. This isn't a friendship circle. This is work." Caputo says.
"Of course sir." Bennett agrees.
"You married Bennett?" Caputo asks.
"No sir." Bennett replies.
"You have anyone special? Because at the end of the day, it's important for a young man like you to have someone special so you don't feel the need to go out and "mingle" with the next best thing – inmates or co-workers." Caputo explains.
"It's fine sir. I'm single and lovin it." Bennett laughs but worries Caputo is onto him and Daya.
~Flashback~
~John's life after his time in Afghanistan~
As an adult, after being in the United States army for a while, John became a personal trainer and body builder.
One day, he is finishing his final session at the gym and then packs his bag and reveals a wedding ring, preparing to ask his girlfriend to marry him.
Later that night, he goes to restaurant with his girlfriend who has been with him for nearly three years.
"So, we have been together for almost three years and I think we should take this relationship to the next step." John says and gets down on his knee. "Jess, will you marry me?" he asks.
"Oh, John! Yes!" Jess smiles. John smiles with excitement and slides the ring on her finger and they kiss and enjoy their night. John has never been happier.
~End of flashback~
Meanwhile, Larry is with Cal and they are drinking, celebrating Larry's radio gig. "Have you heard from Piper?" Cal asks.
"Nope." Larry mutters.
"I wonder why…" Cal mutters with confusion.
"Oh I think I know why…" Larry says, hinting he has a feeling he can't trust Piper and is worried that Alex is going to seduce her.
"Well…I just hope you two work this out…cause my sister, I don't picture her being easy jail bait…" Cal says. Larry laughs.
"Well…Piper is full of surprises…" Larry sighs.
In prison, Piper goes to Suzanne's cube. "Suzanne…" Piper sighs as Suzanne continues to cry. "Suzanne I am so sorry…what Larry said was wrong. I never meant for him to say those things about you." Piper explains.
"But it's true isn't it?" Suzanne cries.
"No…no it's not…I think you are so…so…unique." Piper sighs and sits beside Suzanne.
"Really?" Suzanne asks.
"Yes…" Piper sighs. Suzanne hugs Piper. "Okay…No weird stuff." Piper sighs awkwardly.
"Thanks." Suzanne sighs and wipers her tears.
"You know this doesn't mean I'm your wife, right?" Piper mutters.
"I know. I'm in much more of a loving-being-single phase, anyway. I don't wanna be tied down. You feel me?" Suzanne says.
"I feel you." Piper says.
"Yeah…I'm like on bachelor mode right now." Suzanne laughs.
"Thank you Suzanne. You forgive me right? You're not gonna pee, are you?" Piper asks cautiously.
"No. When I get angry sometimes I can't control myself. That's why I go to Looney Jail sometimes. Psych. But don't worry. We all good Dandelion." Suzanne smiles.
Piper smiles and is relieved she made peace with another person effected by her fiancé's words.
Piper then begins to head down the hall and Miss Claudette stops her. "Miss Claudette…I don't know what else I can say to prove to you how sorry I am." Piper sighs.
"I wish you'd thought enough of me to ask for the truth." Claudette replies. Piper is silent. "I saw that moment in there, with the crazy one. That was sweet." Claudette says.
"Oh?" Piper asks with confusion.
Miss Claudette then hugs Piper. "Thank you." Claudette says.
"For what?" Piper asks.
"For being my friend. I'm sorry." Claudette says.
"I'm sorry too. Thank you for being my friend…really… thank you." Piper smiles with relief and they hug again. Alex watches and smiles she's glad Piper has made peace with everyone.
Bennett finds a note at the tobacco shack asking him to meet in the store cupboard again; he assumes it's from Daya. He blushes and makes his way to the cupboard. He enters and is shocked to find Aleida waiting there for him – butt naked! She tries to seduce him and she turns out the light. "You ready for this?" Aleida whispers.
Bennett freaks out "Ah, I'm sorry!" He pushes Aleida off him and leaves.
"You a faggot or something?" Aleida shouts.
~Flashback~
~John shares the good news~
The next day at the gym, John shares the exciting news to some of his gym buddies.
"Congratulations." One guy says.
"Yeah…took us long enough, right?" John laughs.
"John, can I talk to you?" His friend, Mark, asks.
"Sure." John says and follows him to somewhere more private.
"First of all, congratulations." Mark says.
"Thanks." John smiles proudly.
"But I need to tell you something, your best friend…Andrew, he's sleeping with Jess." Mark reveals.
John is stunned he doesn't know if he should believe this all not. He storms out back into the gym.
Mark follows him. "I'm sorry, it was probably just a rumour. I'm happy for you." Mark says.
"You told him?" Another guy asks.
John freaks out and thinks it may be true.
~End of flashback~
Piper then goes and calls Larry. "Hello Piper, what did you think?" Larry asks.
"Larry… WHAT THE FUCK were you thinking? What possessed you to say half of that mean shit? Do you have any idea how much trouble it has caused for me in here." Piper snaps.
"I only said the truth – what you told me, Piper." Larry sighs.
"Gosh Larry! You are so childish sometimes! You have no idea how hard prison is for me! Like seriously, why would you even say that shit, what, you didn't think it would effect me in any way?" Piper mutters.
"Well Piper, think of it as pay back for not telling me that Alex was in there with you. Now we're even." Larry says.
"Grow up Larry!" Piper says and hangs up. Piper realizes he did it because of Alex, maybe he really does know they are getting close. Piper is starting to feel guilty for fucking Alex.
Later that day, Daya finds Bennett and they go to their spot.
"Caputo grilled me about inappropriate relationships for five hours today. It wasn't really five hours, but it felt that way. You know, this is inappropriate. What you and me are doing." Bennett says with worry.
"It's gonna be fine, baby." Daya assures him.
"I think we have different definitions of fine. I'm about to lose my job." Bennett says with worry.
"Relax." Daya sighs.
"Oh and your mom was naked. Like, really, really naked." Bennett begins.
"What?" Daya gasps.
"Like she had it all hanging out. All of it. I saw her boobs." Bennett reveals.
"But you didn't do nothing, right?" Daya asks with worry.
"What?" Bennett asks.
"You didn't fuck her?" Daya asks with worry.
"Why would I…I don't want your mom, Daya. I want you. I just didn't want to keep anything from you." Bennett assures her.
Daya storms off in rage and goes to find her mother.
"Shit…" Bennett sighs.
~Flashback~
~The not so best man~
John heads to his best friend, Andrew's house.
"Sorry man, it's not a good time." Andrew says.
This is when John realizes his fiancé Jess is in there. He pushes past and enters. He sees his wife in Andrew's kitchen.
Andrew is busted. He feels guilty. "Uh, Jess was just telling me the good news. Congratulations." Andrew lies.
John scoffs. "Tell me its true. Come on. I've already been tipped off, I just wanna hear it from you." He demands.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Andrew says.
"Don't lie to me!" Bennett shouts.
"It's true…" Jess sighs.
John is heartbroken. Devastated. Angry. He snaps. "How could both do this to me? You were my best friend! And I loved you, Jess!" he cries. He and Andrew then get into a violent fight. Andrew friend pushes Johnt onto the glass table, which shatters and cuts John's leg.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry." Andrew says and goes to help him.
"I don't need your help. It's over. Okay. Have a nice life and don't ever. EVER. Speak to me again." John grunts and limps out to his car and leaves.
From that day on John had never wanted to fall in love or get close to anyone.
~End of flashback~
Aleida is walking with Gloria and Maritza in the courtyard. Daya spots them and storms up behind them. "Hey, Ma." Daya says.
"Mm?" Aleida asks and turns around. Daya slaps her mother. "What!" Aleida grunts and tackles Daya to the ground where they fight and pull each other's hair.
"Fucking slut." Daya grunts.
"Aleida, it's not worth it. Aleida!" Gloria says trying to pull Aleida off Daya.
"Aleida! Come on…" Maritza says and breaks it up. Aleida spits on Daya.
"Fucking bitch!" Daya mutters.
"Yo, respect your mother!" Gloria snaps as Aleida and Maritza walk away.
"Why? She never acted like no mom." Daya mutters.
"You okay?" Maritza asks.
"Shit." Gloria adds as she, Maritza and Aleida walk away.
Mendez returns to the kitchen, where Red is alone and washing up. "Yo Red…I just came to let you know that my secret shipment is coming in tomorrow. So just thought you'd wanna know because one of your girls is gonna be a major target because she is craving this shit." Mendez says.
"Mendez, I don't know how many times I have to tell you. I don't care. You're bluffing. If you want a war. Bring it on. It's a war you will get." Red mutters.
Mendez laughs. "It's already begun…" he assures her.
Episode Twelve:
Junk Yard
Red gathers her main girls for a meeting, as she worries about the Mendez situation. Boo, Morello, Norma, Gina, Nicky, Tricia and DeMarco gather for Red. "My girls, I have called you here because I am scared that this war has begun. Mendez is getting read to pull out the big cards and will do whatever he can to turn you against me and take me down. We need to stick together and look out for each other." Red says.
"Don't worry Red, I might be old but let Pornstache try and mess with me." DeMarco says.
"Yeah me too…he won't try nothing." Nicky adds.
"I'll tear him a whole new asshole!" Boo adds.
"I'll have him sleeping with the fishes." Morello says.
"He belongs in a junk yard. Buried six feet under." Red says.
Mendez enters and interrupts. "Ladies, break it up. It's almost lights out. Hey Miller, follow me." He says and steps outside and Tricia follows him.
In the hall he pushes her into the store cupboard. "I got a surprise for you." He whispers and reveals that he has more drugs waiting for her.
"Oh shit. Can I have em' now?" Tricia asks.
"Nope. You gotta pay me first. You know how this goes. Plus you still owe me." Mendez says. "
Yo but my cousin told me he's got your money yo, so we good. I'll just give you another suck and go." Tricia assures him.
Mendez laughs. "Look white trash, this is really good quality shit. Better than the last batch. This is too good and a blow job can't cover it." Mendez says.
"What do you want me to do?" she asks.
"Look, there is another way you can earn it. Maybe. If you want drugs, I want you to go out and find me more potential clients. And I want you to figure out how to pay me back in the meantime." Mendez mutters.
"I will. I'll pay it all to you. I pay my debts." She promises.
~Flashback~
~Tricia's life before prison~
Before being incarcerated, Tricia and her friend, Katie, were living on the streets of New York. They spent their days asking for money.
"Excuse me, sir. Spare a little change? Even a quarter?" Katie begs as Tricia sits and keeps warm. "Hello, ma'am, a little help, please? I'm so hungry." Katie continues but is ignored. Tricia chuckles. "Yo, what's so funny?" Katie asks.
"You're trying too hard. People don't wanna give anything unless they think it's their idea." Tricia says. Katie remains silent and holds out her cup and a man puts a few coins in. "See?" Tricia smiles.
"Yeah, great, except their idea is that a dime and three pennies is gonna get us something to eat." Katie sighs.
"Come on, take a break." Tricia says and Katie joins her.
"Here." Tricia says and hands her a chocolate bar.
"Where'd you get this?" Katie asks.
"Whole Foods. You didn't see me, right? No. 'Cause I'm smooth like that. Here, I got us a carrot too, so our diet is balanced and shit. Dinner, dessert." Tricia explains.
"I'm no good at stealing." Katie says.
"It's not stealing. I'm gonna pay for it." Tricia replies.
"What are you talking about?" Katie asks with confusion.
"Check it out. I keep a log, yo." Tricia begins and retrieves a notebook full of everything she owes people. "I'm not about stealing. See? When I leave this world, I ain't owing nobody nothing. I will pay everyone and everything back eventually." Tricia explains. She doesn't like to look at things as stealing. She's a good person but she was misunderstood when it came to how she saw things.
A man the pulls up and honks at them. "Hey. One of you want to come to a party?" he asks.
"Fuck off." Tricia says.
"Well, fuck you too, street rat." The guy says and drives off.
"Motherfucker looks like my rapist step-dad." Tricia mutters.
"Wanna go somewhere else?" Katie asks.
"In a minute, I'm charging my phone." Tricia says and reveals she is using a power point outside an apartment building.
"Hey, you gonna pay for that electricity too someday?" Katie laughs.
"Shit. I never thought about it like that." Tricia chuckles and writes it down.
~End of flashback~
The next morning, Alex goes to Nicky's cube and talks to Nicky. "Hey Nichols." She smiles.
"Oh Vause, long time no see…" Nicky says.
"Look I came here cause it feels like we haven't spoken in a while and we're supposed to be like prison besties right?" Alex smiles.
"Right. But you've been busy I get it. You're close with Chapman again. That's good." Nicky says.
"Yeah we're talking. But it's nothing sexual." Alex says in denial.
Nicky laughs. "Sure kid. If it's not sex, what do you call it these days?" Nicky asks.
"Are you okay?" Alex asks.
"I'm fine. I just really liked you and I'm kinda mad at myself cause I lost my shot with you that's all." Nicky reveals.
Alex blushes. "I'm sorry." Alex says.
"It's all good. I encouraged you to reconnect with Chapman and you did it so it's my fault. It's all good Vause, it's all good." Nicky says. Alex slightly feels bad. She knew she had a connection with Nicky.
Bennet goes to Daya's cube and tries to apologize to Daya. "I'm sorry about yesterday. Are we okay?" he asks.
"I forgive you. I'm just glad you weren't into my mom more than you were into me." Daya sighs.
"Of course not Daya. You are the one that I want. Your mother is too much of a…cougar for me." Bennett laughs. Daya blushes and she quickly kisses him on the cheek before anyone notices.
Meanwhile, Sophia is giving a one-day only discount at her salon and after breakfast Piper tries to convince Claudette to go with her to get her hair done. "Come on. It'll be fun." Piper begs.
"It's not my thing. I have no one to impress. I'm fine thank you." Claudette says.
"Okay." Piper says and makes her way to salon where there is a huge line out the door. Red is at the front followed by Taystee, Maria and a couple of other inmates.
"I just want a new weave for the new season. I need a summer do." Taystee giggles.
"It's actually not summer yet…but uh, I'm just getting a trim." Piper mutters.
"Well good for you white girl. The back of line is that way though." Maria says and nudges Piper to the end of the line.
Mendez plans on getting Morello to crack, since she is one of Red's girls and he has ordered her to get in the van with him and drive. "Where was it we're going?" Morello asks as she drives.
"Wherever I tell you to go." Mendez mutters.
"Okay. It's just, I'm not supposed to be this far from camp." Morello says.
"You're not supposed to wear that pretty whore lipstick either, but you do, don't ya?" he winks.
Morello continues to drive for a while. "Yeah, stop here. Shut the car off." He mutters. Morello gulps nervously. "The old Moscow mule." Mendez begins.
"Red?" Morello asks.
"She's got a way of bringing stuff in. It's not really up to code. Do you know what I mean?" he asks.
"No." Morello mutters.
"I need to know how." He says.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I drive, I don't work kitchen." She assures him.
"I know. I get it. You're afraid of her. Shit, I don't blame you. But you know what? There are things out here much worse than some scary Russian bitch. Now, I'm gonna ask you again. Nicely. And then the third time, it's not gonna be very nice. For you." Mendez says in a threatening tone.
"I told you. I don't know what she does. I drive, and I do what I need to do. And I can't help you 'cause I really don't know." Morello says and tears up. He stares at her with an intimidating creepy grin. "So you do whatever. I can't tell you what I don't know." She sighs.
Mendez slaps her. "If your lying to me, I will kill you!" he grunts.
Morello cries. "I'm sorry. I don't know anything." She cries.
Mendez rolls his eyes. "Start the car, inmate. You're too far from camp." He mutters.
Meanwhile, Nicky sees Tricia in her bed, shaking with a bad case of the chills. It appears she is going through withdrawals. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're on that shit even after what Red said?" Nicky asks.
"No. I ain't on nothing. I swear." Tricia lies.
"I wanna believe you but it ain't my decision. I'm gonna go get Red." Nicky sighs and walks off.
Meanwhile, after having her hair earlier cut, Red is getting her hair dyed by Norma in the kitchen. "No one dyes it like you Norma. You truly know what your doing. I wasn't going to wait all day for Bursett." Red says. Norma smiles.
Mendez enters, Morning, Red." He smirks.
"If you're here to ransack my kitchen again, go ahead. The shelves could use a little dusting." Red mutters.
"Nah. I'm here to do you a favour." Mendez reveals.
"No, thanks." Red declines.
"One of your little adopted daughters woke up in full-tilt withdrawal this morning." Mendez reveals referring to Tricia.
"Withdrawal from what? My girls are clean." Red replies.
"Well, I guess this one slipped in the mud. Now that her supply's been compromised, little Tricia's got a mean old case of the detox blues." Mendez explains.
Nicky enters. "It's true Red. I saw her for myself." Nicky says.
Red is shocked. "Then it's your fault. Your mess. You deal with it." Red snaps with worry.
"Believe me, you do not want to see how I would deal with it. Now, the prison doesn't need a case of the junkie jitters on record, and I'm pretty sure that you don't want people thinking you've been a bad mommy. So you're gonna walk her through it. Quietly." Mendez directs her.
"This whole time, you've been giving it to her." Red scoffs.
"Really, Red? At a time like this, does that matter? I did warn you." Mendez grins.
"I'll take care of it." She scoffs. Mendez walks away and Red realizes that Mendez had been supplying Tricia with drugs the whole time she had been incarcerated right under her nose. "How did this happen? Right under my nose! Makes me look like an idiot! This whole time! How did she get it?" Red demands.
"I have no idea." Nicky says.
"Don't lie to me!" Red grunts.
"She made a mistake, okay? She's 19 years old." Nicky explains.
"How could she betray me like this? I covered for her when she got here. Just like I did for you. And I warned her if it ever…" Red begins. "
It's not like it's her choice. I mean, she's an addict, all right? She had a slip. We can help her. Just give her a chance." Nicky says, cutting Red off trying to defend Tricia.
"No more chances. Two strikes, that's what she gets. Russians don't play baseball. She needs to be taught a lesson. Some tough love. She needs to go down, and whoever she drags down with her deserves it." Red says.
"You send her down the hill, she's fucked, and you know it. Okay, you're taking this personally. It's not personal, it's chemical. Drugs have a way of making you do shit you don't wanna do." Nicky explains.
"So do I." Red assures her. Nicky sighs with frustration. "Take care of her, now." Red says.
~Flashback~
~Lonely girl~
A few months later, Tricia is still homeless but Katie has made a life for herself.
Tricia walking alone down the street on a cold night and she bumps into Katie. "Hey! Trish?" Katie says but Tricia keeps walking. "Trish, how's it going?" Katie says and catches up to her.
"Hi! Where you been? It's been forever, yo." Tricia says.
"I got a job in a kitchen." Katie reveals.
"Around here?" Tricia asks.
"Yeah, yeah." Katie replies.
"Well, you gotta come by the park sometime and say hi." Tricia says.
"I should. I will. Yeah. Where you staying?" Katie asks.
"You know, nowhere permanent right now but I stay in the shelter some nights and I'm staying in Central Park at the moment and I'm 18 now so they can't call my folks. Yeah, so I'm free, you know, I'm living the dream, you know." Tricia says.
"Hey, I got a Section 8 apartment." Katie reveals.
"Really?" Tricia asks with jealousy.
"Yeah, I'm there with my boyfriend. I mean, if you want, you can crash for a while. You know, if things get real bad." Katie offers politely.
Tricia is silent for a moment; jealous her friend has it so good. "No, no. That's…all good." Tricia mutters.
"Are you sure?" Katie asks.
"Yeah. Yeah, you know me. I don't like asking for favours from anybody." Tricia sighs.
"Hey, you're not asking, I'm offering." Katie smiles.
"Oh, that's cool, Katie. That's really great. You stop by the park sometime and hook me up with some leftovers, all right?" Tricia sighs and walks off.
"Okay, Trish, I will. I will." Katie promises.
~End of flashback~
Morello brings Janae Watson back to camp after being released from the SHU. "Well, you didn't miss much, if it makes you feel any better. Except movie night. We got Joe Versus the Volcano. That was pretty good. And we got meatloaf twice. Personally, I think it should be baked, and here they steam it so it gets all pasty. Do not tell Red I said that. I mean, she knows, but she got feelings just like everybody else." Morello explains.
"You know those good mashed potatoes that Red makes, - from the real potatoes and not the box?" Janae asks.
"Yeah." Morello says.
"Maybe you could ask about getting some of that served up tonight. You her girl." Janae asks.
"Well, she works up the menus a week in advance, so…" Morello explains.
"Think about what I've been through." Janae begs.
"Can't promise anything." Morello sighs.
"Thank you." Janae says. Morello smiles and heads inside.
Janae takes a deep breath. Being in SHU was a horrible experience. It has changed her. She is grateful to be out. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes and lifts her head while spreading her arms out – smiling – in taking the sunlight.
"Hey, Kate Winslet. See any icebergs?" Cindy jokes as she passes by.
Yoga Jones rushes over. "Leave her alone." Yoga Jones says. Janae smiles. "Janae, it's so good to have you back." She continues.
"I think I found my zen down there. Does that mean we're friends now?" Janae asks.
"Yes." Yoga Jones smiles and they hug.
Meanwhile, Alex and Piper are on the staircase talking and Piper looks out the window and sees Janae and Yoga Jones embracing. "Hey, get over here. You're missing a moment." Piper says. Alex joins Piper. "God, SHU must really suck ass." Piper sighs.
"Man, she was in there for two weeks. I've taken shits longer than that." Alex jokes.
"Alex, come on that's not nice." Piper says.
"Oh come on, you gotta admit it was kinda funny." Alex smiles.
"SHU is no joke Alex." Piper says.
"Okay…Jesus…" Alex laughs.
"So, I wanted to have a serious talk. About this. About us. This relationship. What is this?" Piper asks.
"I don't know. You tell me. You dragged ME into that chapel and you fucked me. So…I'm not sure what to think." Alex sighs.
"I don't feel angry at you. I don't hate you. I don't think of you as a friend." Piper sighs.
"That's because we were never friends." Alex says.
"Well we were…" Piper says.
"No we weren't. We were lovers. Passionate. Hot. Sexy lovers." Alex replies.
"I think…I think I love you. I never stopped loving you and I was mad at myself for loving you even after everything. I love you." Piper reveals.
Alex is surprised. "I never stopped loving you either Pipes, and I still love you." Alex replies. Piper blushes. "Want to replay that chapel moment?" Alex flirts.
"I just don't know what this means…what any of this means. I love you but I love Larry too." Piper sighs.
"I love you and I love fucking you but eventually you'll have to choose one of us." Alex sighs.
"I don't know what to do." Piper sighs.
"You're a smart girl Piper. You'll figure it out." Alex sighs and kisses Piper.
Tricia is in her bed sweating profusely from detoxing. Nicky brings her some orange juice. "How goes it?" Nicky asks.
"I've been better." Tricia stutters.
"If I tell you it gets easier, does that make me corny?" Nicky asks.
"Makes you a liar." Tricia chuckles.
"Yeah. Brought you some O.J. Carton, not Simpson." Nicky jokes. Tricia sits up and takes the juice. "Man, this clinic my mom dragged me to, they strapped me down to a bed just like this. So the nurses hated me, 'cause I kept makin' Exorcist jokes. "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!" That shit never gets old, right?" Nicky laughs.
"I might actually be lucky this happened now. Guards just think I got the flu or something, change of seasons or something right?" Tricia laughs.
"Well, in two days, you're gonna be wishing you had the flu." Nicky assures her.
"I'm lucky you're here with me." Tricia smiles.
"Yeah." Nicky sighs.
"And I'll get through it. I'll get back on track. They won't even find out I was using." Tricia says.
"Yes, they will." Nicky replies.
"Shit, no. Girls got my back, right? I ain't never snitched nobody, so who's gonna tell 'em?" Tricia asks.
"You are." Nicky mutters.
"What?" Tricia replies with confusion.
"Two strikes. That's all you get. Red sent me. Says she doesn't play baseball." Nicky mutters.
"I'm quitting, Nicky. Tell her that. Don't make me go down there." Tricia begs.
"This isn't about you. Red's fighting a bigger fight. Shit's changing around here." Nicky explains.
"She is supposed to take care of us." Tricia cries.
"You're gonna get up. You're gonna walk down to the C.O.'s office. You're gonna tell him you were using and throw yourself on his mercy." Nicky orders.
"No! Please! They'll put me in the SHU, and I'll die in there." Tricia cries.
"You won't die, you'll suffer. The monitored isolation champers will be hell. And then you'll come back out. Say what you need to say." Nicky mutters.
"You're supposed to be my family." Tricia cries.
"Not anymore." Nicky says and walks out.
"Nicky! Nicky, no! No! Please. Please! Please, don't go! Stop. Wait! Nicky!" Tricia cries and begs. Nicky walks away feeling remorseful, but knows that she did what she needed to do by cutting off Tricia for the time being.
~Flashback~
~Tricia get's a job~
On the street, Tricia was talking to a sexy tattoo-covered drug dealer, Steve-O, about a job selling drugs.
"You look desperate so if you're willing to work, I'll pay you." Steve-O says.
"Yeah. I'll work. I'll do anything." Tricia begs.
"Alright, well when you put it that way…how about you suck my dick." Steve-O grins.
"Uh…but I'm only into girls though…" Tricia mutters uncomfortably.
"You want the money or not?" he mutters.
"Alright…" she says nervously and they go into a dark alleyway and she sucks his dick.
Moment's later, he cums in her mouth. "Swallow it all!" he says as she forces herself to swallow it.
"Salty yo…" she sighs.
Steve-O chuckles. "Mm, baby…you're hired." He grins and gives her a free sample of his product and some cash upfront.
"Thanks man. Sweet as." She smiles as her eyes light up at the cash.
"There's plenty more where that came from baby. Oh and there's more money and drugs too." He winks, referring to his cock loads.
Tricia laughs and shakes his hand. "Pleasure doing business with ya, yo. I'll be in touch." She smiles and walks away.
~End of flashback~
Mendez makes his way to Caputo's office. "You wanted to see me?" Mendez mutters.
"Patricia Miller. Trailer park all-star with the classy neck tat." Caputo says.
"Oh yeah her." Mendez mutters.
"She just got a 100 series shot for a nasty case of the DTs." Caputo reveals.
"Hope they got a lot of mops in the SHU." Mendez chuckles.
"Detoxing isn't funny Mendez." Caputo mutters.
"Of course not sir. Sorry. Did she say anything?" Mendez asks.
"She just cried and shook. Thing is, she's been here 10 months. How come she doesn't go cold turkey a while back? Something's been getting in here." Caputo worries.
"I always said, when they first come through, we should check their assholes thoroughly." Mendez says.
"If the wrong person realizes there's product moving through this prison…we're fucked." Caputo worries.
"It's one junkie. It's an isolated thing." Mendez assures him.
"Really? I bet my balls we get ten more sweating it out by the end of the month. And if they turn up, the warden's gonna want somebody's head. And it ain't gonna be mine." Caputo explains and hints that Mendez will take the blame.
"I'm sure it'll all be fine. Besides, whatever she was doing clearly ran out, right? So you're good." Mendez sighs.
"Let's see how good I am a week from now. I hope, for all our sakes, you're right." Caputo sighs. Mendez goes to leave but Caputo stops him. "And Mendez?" he says as Mendez pauses and turns back. "Question. It's off-topic. But I got a look in a bar last night. This guy. The moustache. It hasn't become like a gay thing, has it?" Caputo asks.
"No. Fuck, no. Gay! The 'stache is not for fags, it's for fuckin' men." Mendez scoffs.
"Yeah." Caputo smiles.
"It's fuckin' all-beef, fucking cunt-ramming awesome." Mendez continues.
"Okay. Just checking." Caputo laughs.
Norma has moved into Nicky's room after Tricia is gone. Nicky returns to her room and Nicky is furious at Red for it. "Whoa! You moved her in? The fuck is she doing?" Nicky scoffs.
"What I told her to do. And watch your tone." Red mutters.
"It's my bunk, too. I get no say in this?" Nicky scoffs.
"No one gets a say. She was assigned by her counsellor. And she'll be good for you." Red explains.
"She never talks." Nicky scoffs.
"You might learn something." Red mutters.
"I've got friends of my own, you know. There's other people in this prison, not just the ones who drink your goddamn Kool-Aid!" Nicky snaps.
"Are you finished? You're starting to sound finished." Red mutters.
Nicky is angry, her emotions are taking a toll on her. She storms out. Mendez sees the confrontation between Red and Nicky and knows he can take advantage of the situation. Nicky is pissed off Red would do that to her, Tricia is like her sister. She knows that Tricia is a good person and shouldn't be down in SHU.
~Flashback~
~Trying to do the right thing but it goes wrong~
One day, Tricia was in a store, trying to pay for some headphones she stole a few years ago. The store has changed management since then.
"I don't understand. What is it you're trying to pay for?" the clerk asks.
"These headphones." Tricia says.
"Yeah, we don't sell those." The clerk replies.
"But you did two years ago. I borrowed them from you, when I didn't have the money, but I do now, so I want to settle my debt." Tricia explains.
"Ugh. Let me get the manager." The clerk says. Tricia then looks at a necklace and she places it in her jacket whilst she thinks no one is looking but another clerk saw her.
The manager then approaches her. "Listen, I told you not to come in here." The manager says.
"But I'm here to pay you for something I haven't paid for yet. I owe you for these headphones, yo." Tricia explains.
"Just go." The manager says.
"No, no. I'm no thief. I settle my debts." She says, wanting to do the right thing.
"Just go before I call the cops." The manager warns her.
"Sam." A clerk says.
"What?" the manager asks.
"I saw her take one of those necklaces." The clerk reveals.
Tricia is busted. "No, I'm gonna pay for that later, you know. But first things first. So what do we just say, it's $20, and we call it even?" Tricia asks nervously.
"That necklace doesn't even cost that much." The clerk says.
"Isn't for the necklace. It's for the headphones." Tricia explains but rushes out in frustration.
"Sara, don't let her leave." The manager says to a clerk.
"You don't let her leave. I don't get paid enough." The clerk replies.
Outside, Tricia bumps into a police officer. She looks guilty as hell. "Hey! Where you going?" The officer asks.
"Nowhere." Tricia mutters with fear and runs off.
The manager then comes out. "She steal something?" the police officer asks.
I'm not sure. I think so." The manager reveals with uncertainty.
The cop goes after her and arrests her. Tricia freaks out trying to explain she's good. "Yo, I'm a good person! I didn't steal anything! It's called borrowing! I'm gonna pay for it! Please!"
"Yeah, pay for it prison young lady. You pay for this too?" the officer grunts and finds a baggie in her pocked. She charged for theft and possession.
"Fuck this, yo." Tricia cries.
~End of flashback~
Gina then approaches Red. "Oh good, Gina you're here…I need your help. I want you to help me with my next move to take Mendez down." Red grins.
Nicky sneaks into the old chapel and she puts her headphones on and she tries to escape reality and calm down.
Mendez finds her and removes her headphones. "This room is for prayer." He mutters.
"Never heard of it." She scoffs.
"We need to talk. Heard about your old roommate. Sent down to seg, and an extended sentence. It's a raw deal." Mendez mutters.
"Yeah." Nicky sighs.
"I got a couple questions that I need to ask you. I think you may know the answers to 'em. About Red and the way that she runs her business. And I would think that a smart, savvy person like yourself - would know an opportunity…" Mendez begins.
"Neptune's Produce." Nicky mutters.
"Huh?" he asks.
"You wanna know how she gets the contraband in? That's it. The vendor. Neptune's Produce. Now leave me the fuck alone." Nicky reveals and puts her headphones back on. Mendez smiles.
Episode Thirteen:
"Lord, give me mercy!"
Fig calls a staff meeting and gathers the staff as she is furious, demanding to know how the drugs are getting in. "How did this happen?" she shouts.
"Miss Figueroa, as Mendez has mentioned – it was probably an isolated event." Officer Thompson says.
"That may be the case but I want to know HOW this happened? Where did she even find the drugs?" Fig snaps.
"I have no idea. Maybe it has something to do with the kitchen and vendors or something. Maybe we should question Reznikov." Mendez hints, acting innocent.
But Mr Healy defends Red. "No! That's despicable. Red would never allow this to happen." Healy says.
"I agree." Caputo says.
"Fine! Whatever. Just find me answers!" Fig orders.
In the cafeteria, Tiffany and her followers are organising a protest for the rights of Jesus Christ to try and get the chapel open. "So I encourage all of you…every last one of you…to join us in this religious protest to honour the chapel program and to be able to express your religious freedom." Tiffany chants.
"Yeah!" Leanne cheers.
"We want the chapel! Come on, let's hear it! We want the chapel!" Tiffany chants.
"We want the chapel! We want the chapel! We want the chapel!" her followers chant.
~Flashback~
~A typical Sunday ride before church~
Before being incarcerated, Tiffany was with her boyfriend, Arlen, in his pickup truck, driving to church.
"So why you dragging me to this thing anyway?" Arlen mutters.
"Because dummy, I owe it to the lord to present myself in his house at least once a week." Tiffany replies.
"But you ain't ever act like no Christian." Arlen chuckles.
"Oh no? Why? Cause I ain't wearing a suit or a habit and trying to sell bibles or whatever." Tiffany jokes.
"Yeah. Pretty much. But why you gotta take me to church?" Arlen replies.
"Aww you don't like being my lap dog?" Tiffany giggles.
"I want my face in your lap maybe." Arlen says.
"Oh yeah?" Tiffany blushes and she leans over to him and whispers in his ear. "Pull over."
"What?" he asks.
"We got time…come on…" she giggles as he pulls over and they have sex on the side of the road.
~End of flashback~
Mendez stands by the gates waiting for the Neptune's Produce truck. Eventually it drives in and Mendez stops it. "Got a minute there, cowboy?" Mendez smirks.
"Everything okay?" the driver asks.
"Of course it is. We just gotta have a little talk, you and me." Mendez replies and grins – intending to make a deal.
Meanwhile, Sister Jane and Sophia are talking in the common room and they are talking about the protest. "Sophia, I think we both should join the protest." Sister Jane says.
"What?" Sophia laughs.
"Well I'm joining…I miss the chapel…I hate using this common room." Sister Jane says.
"What? Ain't this the recreation room?" Sophia says.
"Oh same thing…but seriously, you should join the protest with me because I think we both could use a little faith." Sister Jane explains. Sophia sighs. She is new to all this but does agree with Sister Ingalls.
At lunch, Piper is sitting with Yoga Jones, DeMarco and Morello. "Gosh, have you guys heard the new "thing" this whole protest talk." Piper says.
"It's funny isn't it. You would never think that the staff would allow this." Yoga Jones says.
Alex then joins them. "Hey. What did I miss?" Alex asks.
"Well we were just talking about this chapel protest." Piper says.
"Yeah. Waste of time." DeMarco says.
"Ain't you Christian?" Morello asks.
"I am. But that don't mean that I have to support some red neck's protest. The staff won't ever open the chapel again." DeMarco says.
"What happened to the chapel anyway?" Piper asks.
"Same thing that always happens – budget cuts basically." DeMarco says.
"Gosh…" Piper sighs.
"You know that crazy Christian is gonna be the death of me." Alex scoffs.
"I know right. She is so crazy. She calls me college." Piper laughs. They both continue to mock Tiffany for a while as Morello, Yoga Jones and DeMarco excuse themselves.
"Oh dear, we upset the goody-goody's." Alex laughs.
"Look at her…how does she get those girls to follow her…" Piper sighs referring to Tiffany.
"Because she is "PENNSATUCKY" she gets all the meth heads to follow her cause she makes them feel less bad for sinning." Alex laughs.
"Gosh, I wonder what she did." Piper sighs as they both wonder.
~Flashback~
~Another baby bite's the dust~
One day, Tiffany was lying in bed, topless, with Arlen. They are discussing her pregnancy – she wants an abortion.
"You don't gotta kill it." Arlen sighs. Tiffany stares at him. "I'm just thinking about you, is all. I mean, you show 'em a baby, you get good money from the government. Plus WIC packages. All kinds of things in them packages you get. Cheese, peanut butter. Baby food. Hell, you can make a good casserole out of baby food. Sprinkle some Fritos on top, tuna. Tasty as hell, and baby food is vegetables." Arlen explains.
"Well, if you're eating all the baby food, what's the baby supposed to eat?" Tiffany says sarcastically.
"Suit yourself." He sighs.
"I'm not keeping it, Arlen." She grunts.
"You never keep it." He sighs with disappointment – hinting that this isn't the first time she's decided on having an abortion.
Tiffany rolls her eyes. "Look, my cousin, Sierra, she had a baby down at County last summer, and after they drug tested her, they took the baby boy away and they arrested her for endangering a minor, okay? So, I think babies are cute and all but I ain't going to jail for this fucker." Tiffany scoffs.
"Well, another idea is, you could stop doing drugs." Arlen says.
Tiffany looks at him and he stares at her – he appears to be dead serious. They both then break the seriousness and both snicker.
"For real, though, I need a ride tomorrow to the clinic." Tiffany says.
"Hell, tomorrow I gotta do the thing with the hammers." Arlen says.
Tiffany gets up and snorts a line of meth. "Look, can you at least understand that I don't want to bring no demented baby due to drugs. All right? Maybe the next one." Tiffany says.
~End of flashback~
Daya is sitting on her bed and Aleida enters. "Can I talk to you?" Aleida asks. Daya is silent. "Look, I'm sorry." Aleida says.
"I don't want to hear it." Daya snaps.
"Well suck it up! I did it because I care. I don't want to see you get hurt." Aleida explains.
"Yeah, right…how the fuck does that work? Yo, you got one fucked up mind Aleida." Daya mutters.
"I don't want you to get in trouble Daya." Aleida says.
"Just go. I'm not ready to forgive you." Daya says. Aleida sighs and she walks away.
Nicky is starting to feel bad for snitching on Red. She is pacing in her cube and Mendez finds her. "Tell the mute to get out, this is only between us." Mendez orders referring to Norma.
"Go on…" Nicky says to Norma and she smiles politely and leaves. "What do you want Pornstache?" Nicky asks.
"Thank you for your little tip. Any other information?" he asks.
"Nope. Sorry. That's all I got." Nicky says.
"Alright. Well how about this…would you like some?" he asks and reveals a bag of heroine.
Nicky is tempted. She is hesitant. "I…I can't. No thanks." She mutters.
Mendez chuckles. "Alright…" Mendez says – he is mad but he understands.
"Before you go, what are you gonna do to Red?" Nicky asks.
"That's for me to know and you to find out." Mendez smirks and walks off. Nicky worries.
Later in the laundry, Pennsatucky is with her followers bragging about her fandom. Piper and Alex are also in the laundry and they listen in. Tiffany is claiming she is the chosen one as she reads her fan mail.
"That's right. Follow my guidance because I…I am the one who must protect as many believers and followers as possible before the apocalypse." Tiffany explains.
"Oh gosh, praise!" Angie says.
"What about the good souls that are dead…like the babies." Leanne says.
"You know, I pray for all the dead babies and all their baby souls. And God, he's gonna let them into heaven, even though they weren't baptized." Tiffany says and tears up.
Alex and Piper giggle.
"Are you getting all of this?" Tiffany asks Leanne as she writes this down.
"Yeah." Leanne says.
"And you can also tell Judy that I pray for her as well." Tiffany says.
"Well, her name's Barbara." Leanne replies.
"Barbara? Barbara! Damn! I can't keep all this fan mail straight. I can't keep up with it." Tiffany says with frustration.
"WAIR! What? You have fans?" Alex scoffs.
"She's a hero." Amelia says.
"She's a defender of the unborn." Leanne says.
"Jeez, that sounds like a bad X-Men movie. What'd you do, bomb an abortion clinic?" Alex says. Piper laughs.
"And you can sign off with, "I will be out of here by 2015, "before the rapture." Alright." Tiffany continues, ignoring Alex.
"Oh, man." Piper laughs.
"Is something fucking funny to you college?" Tiffany scoffs.
"Yeah. It's just that people predict the rapture all the time. I mean, wasn't that supposed to happen in 2011 or 2012?" Piper mutters.
"No. It comes in two stages. If you study your shit. The first one was a spiritual rapture. And the second one coming is a physical one." Tiffany explains.
"I see." Piper mutters.
"Okay?" Tiffany scoffs.
"Got it. But to me it sounds like a whole lot of bullshit." Piper says. Alex laughs.
"Only the good and pure will be saved and we are all going to heaven and you're not invited, because they don't allow gay people on the rapture bus!" Tiffany grunts.
"There's a bus? Are all the seats already taken by Appalachian meth-heads?" Piper mutters.
"Man, you're gonna…you're gonna get it college! I suggest you walk away right now." Tiffany warns her.
"Or what? You'll beat her with your holy water. Bitch please. Leave her alone. Just fucking walk away." Alex says, defending Piper.
"You think you're something special right college? Well the lord has given me the ability to destroy you. Wanna know why? 'Cause I've had it with rich bitches like you." Tiffany scoffs.
"Oh really? I am not afraid of you." Piper says.
"Well maybe you should be…" Tiffany says and steps toward Piper with a crazy look in her eyes.
"Back the fuck off Pennsatucky! Before I end you! I will destroy you if you ever hurt Piper." Alex says and stands in front of Piper.
"Jesus Alex! Seriously?" Piper snaps.
"What?" Alex asks with confusion.
"I don't need you defending me all the time. I can handle myself." Piper mutters.
"I was just trying to help." Alex says.
"I don't need your help. It isn't necessary. Gosh!" Piper snaps and storms out. Alex feels bad but thinks Piper is overreacting.
"Yeah she can handle herself cause she went to college." Tiffany laughs.
"Fuck you Doggett!" Alex scoffs.
"Anyway, back me being the defender of the unborn…" Tiffany says. Her followers cheer.
~Flashback~
~She disrespected me~
Tiffany awakes after having her abortion done. Tiffany removes the I.V. From her arm and begins to change into her normal clothes and out of her patients robe.
A nurse enters, "Number five, huh? We should give you a punch-card, get the sixth one free." The nurse mutters, judging Tiffany's lifestyle with disgust.
Tiffany is angry. She storms outside, where a bunch of anti-abortion protestors gather, and she passes them and goes to her brother, Randy's, truck, where he is waiting for her and she grabs his shotgun from behind the seat.
"What are you doing? You best not waste my squirrel bullets." Randy says.
"She disrespected me." Tiffany mutters – meaning she has to kill her.
Tiffany heads back into the clinic, the protestors cheer for Tiffany. Tiffany storms into the clinic and shoots the nurse that disrespected her.
~End of flashback~
Piper goes back to her cube and cries and freaks out. It is all sinking in. Larry's show. Getting close to Alex again. She rushes down to the phones to try and call Larry.
"It's not phone hours yet, Chapman." Officer Bell grunts.
"This is an emergency." Piper says.
"Go. You can deal with your emergency in a few minutes, just like everyone else. Nice radio play by the way." Officer Bell laughs.
"Please…" Piper says and tears up.
"Hurry up, Chapman." Bell says – allowing Piper to make it quick.
Larry's phone then rings and the usual recording plays as he answers it. "Piper?" Larry asks.
"How did you know?" Piper cries.
"Know what, Piper?" Larry asks.
"I know that you know." Piper sobs.
"I want to hear you say it. Tell me you had sex with her." Larry mutters.
"Please don't do this." Piper cries.
"Are you still having sex with her?" Larry asks.
"Yes. No. It's complicated okay and just for the record I never fucked her until after your stupid radio show Larry! I hope your five seconds of fame was worth it." Piper says.
"I knew you were with her again, the minute you were so cool all of a sudden and acted so strange after we spoke about my article." Larry says.
"So was this your revenge? Trying to get me killed? And just so you know, I never fucked Alex until after your radio show! Alex and I were being civil! We have to live in this fishbowl together!" Piper asks.
"Wait, wait, so, so, you're the victim in all of this?" Larry scoffs.
"They're just people, Larry. They're just women who are trying to do their best. And you made them sound like they were Criminals?" Piper gasps.
"Jesus! Who are you? I can't believe you're the one asking me that right now? I can't believe that… no, actually, actually, of course, I can. I totally can, because God forbid I would get to dictate the conversation, ever!" Larry snaps.
"There hasn't been any conversation to dictate, Larry. Do you have any idea what it has been like in here for me? Do you have any idea how lonely I've been?" Piper cries.
"Lonely? Lonely? Really? You've been lonely? That's Okay, that's interesting, because, you know, I just assumed you were okay, because you have Alex now." Larry snaps. Piper cries. "Do you love her?" he asks.
"No, that's…it's… it's difficult." Piper stutters.
"Do you love her?" Larry asks again.
"Yes." Piper cries.
"She named you, you know? She's the whole fucking reason you're in there. How does it feel to be in love with the woman who ruined our lives?" Larry reveals.
"You lied to me?" Piper gasps.
"Guess that makes us perfect for each other." Larry says.
"I didn't mean for any of this to happen." Piper cries.
"I think I need some time." Larry sighs.
"What does that mean?" Piper asks.
"I don't know. I just I need I need some time, okay? I need some time away from you." Larry says.
"No Larry, please. You have to forgive me. You have to let me fix this." Piper cries.
"I don't know if you can." Larry sighs and hangs up.
Piper cries. "What the fuck have I done?" she cries to herself.
Alex sees Nicky in her cube, looking stressed. "Can I come in?" Alex asks. Nicky nods. "Are you okay?" Alex asks.
"Do I look fucking okay?" Nicky snaps.
"Sorry…" Alex sighs.
"No. I'm sorry. I'm just a little stressed." Nicky says.
"Well come on, sit…let's talk." Alex says and she and Nicky sit on the bed. "Come on, talk to me." Alex says.
"It's about Tricia." Nicky says – hiding the truth about snitching on Red.
"Oh…I'm sorry I know you were like sisters…" Alex says.
"Yeah well…I don't know she shouldn't be down there. It's Red's fault! Right?" Nicky mutters.
"She was the one doing drugs and she sent herself down there." Alex says.
"Yeah but she's 19. She is just a kid. She inly did what Red sent me to do. She is down there because of me. Red forced me to make Tricia send herself down the hill. It's not fair." Nicky says irritably.
"Nichols, it's gonna be okay. Come here." Alex says and hugs Nicky.
"Are you okay? You seem a little softer than usual…" Nicky says.
"It's just Piper…I have no idea what has gotten into her…" Alex reveals and they hug again, comforting and supporting each other.
Mr Healy then calls Tiffany into his office. "You wanted to see me?" Tiffany asks.
"Sit down Doggett." Healy mutters.
"Alright sir, listen… I know what you're gonna say, but I can't help the fact that I have an army of followers protesting the rights for our religious freedom!" Tiffany says in an aggravated tone.
"Doggett, listen to me. You're crazy but I have some good news." He mutters.
"My prayers have been answered." She smiles.
"I'm reopening the chapel." He says.
"What? Really?" She gasps with surprise.
"Yes. The chapel was never meant to be closed in the first place. Figueroa forced us to shut it but I did my research and spoke to the Chaplin and it's all now official. It just needs to be cleaned out. It's a bit dusty in there." Healy says.
"Thank you Mr Healy! Thank you! Now I can continue god's good work!" she smiles excitedly.
He rolls his eyes. "Maybe I am the crazy one for agreeing to this." He mutters. Tiffany laughs excitedly.
~Flashback~
~Defender of the unborn~
Tiffany is dressed up and is in the courthouse waiting for her trial.
"How did you sleep, Tiffany?" a man asks as he approaches her – she has been assigned a Christian lawyer.
"Who's askin'?" Tiffany mutters.
"I'm your lawyer." He says.
"You ain't my lawyer. My lawyer is fat and his name is Wesley Weeks." Tiffany scoffs.
"Wesley Weeks is a C-minus public defender who will plead you out without even looking at your file. I think you'll find that the Christian firm of Turro, Payne and Whorton will serve your interests much better." He explains.
"You're gonna get me out of jail?" Tiffany smiles.
"Well, if you shoot somebody in broad daylight, with witnesses, you're gonna do some time, that's a fact. But, I will see to it that you do less time." He explains.
"How?" she asks.
"Couple of procedural challenges, plus we're gonna argue that you did what you did based on the moral conviction that you were saving lives. Defenceless, innocent lives." He says – hinting that everyone thinks she did it because she was defending the unborn babies and that she was a violent protestor.
Tiffany is confused. "But…wait…I didn't…" she tries to explain.
"Shhh…" he insists.
"I can't afford a fancy lawyer." Tiffany says.
"My fees have already been settled. And there's a small monthly stipend going to your family, to help them while their daughter serves her time." He explains.
"How's this being paid for?" Tiffany asks.
"By the grace of God. And also, all your friends." He says.
"I don't have any friends." She mutters.
"You do now." He says and opens the courtroom door where heaps of protestors are cheering for her calling her a hero.
"Good God!" Tiffany laughs.
"Defender of the unborn!" the crowd cheers.
"Order in the court. I want order in this courtroom! All of you, sit down!" the judge orders. Tiffany smiles proudly – sucking up the attention of this lie.
~End of flashback~
Episode Fourteen:
Pick the right crew and fight.
One morning, Nicky is sitting on the bench in the kitchen helping Red – trying to hide her guilty conscience. "Why aren't you at work?" Red asks.
"Luschek never showed. Probably passed out in his own vomit somewhere." Nicky mutters.
"So you chose to come in here and help?" Red asks curiously.
"Yeah. Figured you could use it. I heard you making your end of season banquet." Nicky says.
"Then get your ass off my counter and help Gina pull the turkeys out of the freezer." Red orders.
"Shit, we got real turkey this year! Shouldn't we save this for thanksgiving?" Nicky smiles.
"We got trimmings from the factory. Plenty of it to go around." Red explains.
"Trimmings? Jesus. The shit no one else wants. That's a bag of turkey assholes right there." Nicky says.
"The whole meal has to come in at $1.05 a prisoner. Taxpayers don't give a shit about us. We're the bad guys." Red explains and she continues to unpack the produce boxes where in one of them she finds a bag of pills. "Pig-fucker." She mutters with fear, knowing Mendez is behind this.
"You okay Red?" Nicky asks. Red hides the bag down her apron.
"Brown the onions for the gravy." Red says and storms out. Nicky feels bad knowing she is responsible.
~Flashback~
~Coming Down~
During her first days in prison, Nicky was detoxing and Red attended to her.
Red takes a shaking, crying, detoxing Nicky into the bathroom. "Norma's gonna get you some mouthwash. A clean mouth makes you feel better." Red says as Nicky cries.
Nicky sits on the sink. Almost screaming in pain.
"Here." Red sighs as she wets a towel and pats Nicky's face with it.
Nicky is shuddering in pain. "It hurts." She cries.
"You gotta hit rock bottom before you know which direction to go in. Welcome to the floor, kid." Red says. Nicky continues to sob. "It'll be better from now on. And what I'll do to you if you use again will hurt a lot more than this." Red says.
Nicky cries. "I…I can't…"
"You will! Remember what I'm saying. I am going to look after you I promise." Red says and makes Nicky look her in the eyes.
Nicky cries and pulls Red close and clenches onto her as she hugs her. She's never has someone care so much.
~End of flashback~
Miss Claudette enters her cube and Piper is on her bed sobbing. Claudette wonders what is bothering her. "Well this is depressing…" Claudette sighs.
"I'm sorry…" Piper sobs and sits up.
"Wanna talk about?" Claudette asks.
"Not really? Do you want to listen?" Pipet asks.
"Not really. But I am here. So what is it?" Claudette replies.
"It's just…I have made a lot of mistakes in such a short period of time." Piper reveals.
"I agree. Including your little lesbian betrayal on your fiancé." Claudette replies.
"What? Please don't make me feel worse than I already do." Piper says.
"I'm sorry. But that Alex girl is the reason you are here. And not just here in prison but in this situation. Am I right?" Claudette says.
"How did you know about any of this? I never said anything…" Piper asks.
"I'm quiet, not blind. You need to make things right with your fiancé before it's too late. Figure out what you want. You are not thinking clearly." Claudette says.
"You're right…" Piper sighs.
"I know I am." Claudette says proudly.
Red goes into the bathroom where she tips all the pills into the toiler and flushes them. "Fucker!" she scoffs.
Tiffany is in the chapel with her followers bossing them around as they clean the place up. "Come on ladies! I want this place up and running by summer!" Tiffany orders.
"Gosh, Tucky we are working as fast as we can." Leanne says.
"Yeah we are working so hard." Angie says.
"Listen, I took you two under my wing from the second you landed in this place and now you think you can talk back?" Tiffany scoffs.
"No…it's just ain't fair…" Angie says.
"What isn't fair?" Tiffany asks.
"You ain't helping." Amelia says.
"Oh, well I ain't helping cause I am resting up my spiritual self so I can do god's work once this place is ready to go alright." Tiffany says.
"Alright…we'll do it…" Loretta says as they continue to clean.
Healy is called into Fig's office and she is mad at him. "Miss Figueroa…" he begins.
"No. I'll do the talking here Healy. What were you thinking? How could you permit this stupid chapel program? I never approved this." Fig snaps.
"No but I had Caputo's approval and you know, legally you are not allowed to close the chapel. I looked it up. So I suggest you just let this slide and deal with it or I'll take this to the warden." Healy warns her.
She chuckles. "Oh Sam… you really think you can blackmail me?" she scoffs.
"I'm not blackmailing you, I am just informing you that I did my job. I did something right. I made these women happy. Are we done?" Healy says politely. Fig rolls her eyes and Healy leaves.
Mendez goes into the kitchen with a big grin on his face where Red is admiring her gravy. "It's like an early thanksgiving. Taste it, Norma." Red smiles. Norma tastes it. "What did I tell you? It's damn near perfect." Red smiles.
"Ladies! Listen up! It's time to leave. Let's go! Everybody out, except for you, Red. You can stay. Let's go, Silent Bob. That means you, too. Come on." Mendez orders.
"It's okay Norma, I'll take over." Red says as Norma and the girls leave. Red continues to stir her gravy as Mendez walks over to a stack of boxes. He searches and can't find the pills.
"Where's my shit, Red?" he asks.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Red mutters.
"Really? Are you gonna make me look through every box in here?" he scoffs.
"How'd you do it? You stopped the truck?" Red asks.
"Maybe. Or maybe I got it from one of your girls." Mendez smiles.
"My girls wouldn't tell you shit!" Red assures him.
"Huh, you sure about that?" he winks.
"You want your pills? You can go stick your head in the toilet. There might be a few still floating around." Red says.
Mendez snaps. "You listen to me, you crazy cunt! The next time my shipment comes in, you're gonna put it to the side, top shelf, in the walk-in." Mendez grunts.
"You know, Tricia's in detox. I hear Caputo's looking for her source. What would he think of your little operation?" Red begins.
"You mean, your operation? All the contraband comes through your kitchen." Mendez replies. Red begins to worry.
"Looks like we're at a Cold War stand-off, Ruskie. And I got a bigger weapon than you. You wanna see it?" Mendez mutters and unzips his pants and pulls out his cock and pisses in the gravy. Red is disgusted. "Just a little something extra." He laughs as he puts his dick away. "Next time you fuck with my stash, I'll end your life." Mendez assures her. Red fills with fear. "Tricia was such an easy target. But now, I have a new best friend." Mendez laughs. Red doesn't know what to think. "You're going down, Red!" he says and walks out. Red stands alone with anger and worry. Nicky stands around the corner, watching and feels bad.
Meanwhile, Piper goes to try and call Larry again. He finally answers. "Larry! Oh Larry! Thank god! Larry do you forgive me? Please forgive me. I am so sorry." Piper cries.
"Wow Pipes, I am really tired of hearing the same thing over and over. I can't do this. Not right now. I need a little more time to try and convince myself to forgive you." Larry says.
"Okay. Please…I am sorry." Piper cries. Larry hangs up and Piper sobs.
Red is angry and she gathers her girls. She wants to know who snitched on them. She gets mad particularly at her right hand kitchen girls, Norma and Gina. "It was one of you! Wasn't it! How could you do this to me? We are a family and now you wanna turn your back on me?" Red snaps.
"It wasn't me Red, I swear." Gina says.
Norma also signs that she is innocent.
"Was it you, Boo?" Red asks.
"No. It wasn't fucking me. I don't have the effort to snitch on you." Boo says.
"Who did this to me!" Red shouts. Nicky gets emotional as they get punished and she storms out.
~Flashback~
~Under Red's Wing~
After detoxing, Red gave Nicky a job in the kitchen, so she could keep an extra eye on her, but she realized had more potential.
Nicky was trying to dice onions but she was making a big chunky mess. "Nicky. I have something to tell you." Red says.
"What is it?" Nicky asks.
"I have a new job for you. I want you to be in charge of all the newbies." Red says.
"What?" Nicky asks.
"I am trusting you to pick the right girls to be apart of our family." Red explains.
"Oh like our crew?" Nicky laughs.
"Exactly." Red smiles. Red tells Nicky how the system works.
Later that day, Nicky gathers a bunch of newbies, Gina included, and she picks two of them, that she thinks Red will approve of and she takes them to Red. "How about these two?" Nicky asks.
Red disagrees. "No, bring me the mousey one and the other blonde one." Red says and shuts down Nicky's effort and instead chooses Gina and another girl. "Oh and Nicky by the way, you're done in the kitchen. I got you a job in electrical. You have more talent for that I think." Red explains. She then dismisses Nicky.
Nicky is kinda hurt by this but remains loyal to Red.
~End of Flashback~
Red storms after Nicky and pulls her aside. "What is this? This dramatic attitude, what is it about?" Red asks.
"Just…guilt." Nicky sighs.
"Oh don't feel guilty honey, I know you care about me but there was never a way you'd have known that Mendez would find a way to get into our kitchen. It's my fault. I must've missed something." Red says.
"This isn't on you." Nicky assures her. Red is confused.
"It's on me. I'm the one who finked to Pornstache about Neptune. I'm the reason the drugs are still comin' in." Nicky confesses.
"Why?" Red gasps.
"Oh, God. I don't know. I was just mad at you for always shitting on me." Nicky reveals.
"Nicky, I only sent Tricia to detox because I thought they would start an investigation. To put an end to all of this." Red explains.
"I didn't know that. You were right to not trust me. I'm sorry." Nicky cries.
"Nicky, I trust you more than anyone. I always have. I do now more than ever." Red says.
"Now? You got shit in your ears or something? I betrayed you." Nicky says.
"I know. And that's why I trust you. Because I know you'll do whatever it takes to make things right. I don't forgive you but I trust you. I was stupid to think this prison would ever look into things. Even if they caught Pornstache stuffing drugs down her throat, they'd do anything to avoid a scandal. It's up to us now, Nicky." Red explains.
"What are you talking about?" Nicky asks.
"You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Mendez. I want that motherfucker. I want that motherfucker taken out. Before it's too late." Red says.
"Well let's just hope the girls have it in them. To pick the right crew and fight." Nicky says.
"Exactly." Red says.
In his office, Mr Healy is going over some paperwork and he finds a request form from Larry. He is requesting to get on Alex's visitation list. Mr Healy chuckles to himself. Healy approves, wanting to cause more drama for Piper.
Piper is in her cube alone sitting on her bed. Alex enters. "You gonna tell me what happened with the fiancé? That's why you've been acting weird right? After our serious talk the other day you freaked out." Alex says.
"You know, I accused him of feeding on my misfortune with the sensitivity of a vampire squid, and then he accused me of betraying him in a disgusting, yet totally predictable manner. So, we're in a good place." Piper says sarcastically.
"I'm sorry, Pipes." Alex sighs.
"And that was before he told me that his father, AKA my lawyer, looked at the records and found out that it was you who ratted me out to the Feds." Piper says.
"Fuck." Alex says with guilt.
"Don't worry about it. I mean, fool me once, right?" Piper says politely.
"Okay, listen…" Alex tries to explain.
"Alex. I'm over it. Really. It's fine." Piper says and goes to walk away but Alex stops her.
"Wait! Seriously?" Alex asks.
"Yeah." Piper smiles.
Alex doesn't believe it. "Wanna fuck?" Alex asks.
"Hey! Get out of here. You're gonna get us a SHOT." Piper says.
"I'm serious. I was so afraid about you finding out the truth, but now it's out, and it's okay. It's kind of a rush." Alex says and begins to grind up on Piper.
"Stop it, Alex." Piper says.
"Come on, babe. Let's celebrate how totally fine you are with everything." Alex continues.
"You're freaking me out." Piper says.
"You ain't seen nothing yet." Alex winks and continues to feel Piper.
"I said stop it." Piper says.
"What? Can't a girl be totally overcome with desire for someone who's being so cool, and so forgiving?" Alex pushes.
"We're not okay! This is not fine!" Piper snaps and pushes Alex off.
"Good. Now we could talk about it." Alex says.
"Is that what this is about?" Piper asks.
"Yeah. That's what this is about. I knew I'd get it out of you. You find out that I personally got you thrown in here at the exact moment your manicured fingers were like closing on the yuppie brass ring, and somehow you don't have a problem with it? You are so full of shit." Alex says.
"Fuck you. Fuck you, Alex." Piper snaps and pushes Alex. Alex is silent. "You want me to be angry? Well, guess what, I'm really fucking angry, because I love you, Alex. I love you and I fucking hate you." Piper shouts. Alex blushes. "I have really been trying to keep my shit together, but if you really need to see me Hulk out over this then fine!" Piper snaps.
"Larry left you, didn't he? And that's why you're fake-fine with me. Right now you're willing to overlook pretty much anything because ultimately you are just terrified of being alone. Is that what I am to you? A fucking binky for you to suck on until you feel better?" Alex scoffs.
"Look at me. Do not talk to me about Larry. Okay. Now talk to me. Why did you do it?" Piper asks.
"They were offering less time. A lot less time, depending on how much I gave them. I hadn't seen or heard from you in years. You weren't even real anymore, which made it easier. And I was pretty sure one of the other guys would give you up anyway. And if I'm being really honest, I was still pissed at you. For leaving. For my mom. So, yeah, at that moment I probably was just, like, "Fuck you," you know? I'm not proud of myself." Alex explains.
"You lied to me. I asked you. When I first got here you could've given me this whole speech right then." Piper says.
"I wanted you to like me. I still do." Alex sighs.
"Maybe you should've thought that all the way through. Because now I am stuck. I don't know what to fucking do. Larry might be leaving. I'm in here with you. I love you but I fucking hate you!" Piper says and pushes past Alex.
Miss Claudette is called to Mr Healy's office and she is anxious. "Is there a problem?" Claudette asks.
"Not at all. In fact, I have some good news." Healy says.
"We could all stand a little good news." Claudette says.
"Your case manager called, and there's interest in reopening your case. Seems to be some immigration law reform, blah-di-blah. You're being reviewed for potential early release. You're good behaviour will help with that." Healy reveals.
Miss Claudette is surprised – shocked. "I don't care to dredge up the past." Claudette mutters.
"This could mean a lot less time." Healy assures her.
"I appreciate the opportunity, but no, thank you. It will be a whole lot of aggravation for nothing. I know how these things go. Is there anything else?" Claudette says, regretfully.
"No. No. I'll let 'em know your decision. Have a good day." Healy says and Miss Claudette walks away and tears up.
Later that afternoon, Mendez pulls Nicky aside after lunch. "Hey Nichols. Do you want some of this good shit?" Mendez offers her again.
"No. No thanks." Nicky says. Mendez then snaps.
"Listen to me Nichols! I have already sent three ladies down to the SHU for rehabilitation and the staff are going crazy trying to find the source of the drugs. Now I am offering you politely. I thought we were friends, but fine. A mother hen won't die, it will just run around with it's head cut off and doesn't have any power." Mendez says, hinting he is going to expose and frame Red. Nicky worries.
~Flashback~
~Nicky loves her prison-mother~
One day, Nicky went to visit Red in the kitchen. "Red." Nicky smiles.
"Not now. I'm busy." Red says.
Nicky notices Gina is in the kitchen working too. "What this? You hired the shrimpy one but I'm not good enough to work in here?" Nicky scoffs with anger and jealousy.
"It's not a competition. She just met the criteria. Now suck it up." Red grunts. Nicky is upset. Red hugs Nicky and kisses her forehead. "I want you to be safe. You are better than a kitchen. You need to be out there. I'll still make sure your safe and protected. You're my daughter. Don't forget that." Red says.
Nicky hugs her and smiles, she is just happy to have a mother figure. Before leaving Nicky says "Hey Rat Face, if you ever hurt my mom, I'll fucking kill you." referring to Gina.
"Chill out, Nichols. I won't hurt her!" Gina assures Nicky. "She kinda scares me…" she whispers.
Red chuckles. "Get to electrical." Red laughs and Nicky leaves.
~End of flashback~
Larry sits in the visitation room anxiously waiting to meet Alex. Alex approaches him. "Alex." He mutters.
"Yeah?" Alex asks with confusion.
"You're tall." He mutters with intimidation.
"I've been told." Alex says and sits down.
Larry doesn't know how to begin. "Sorry, this is just weird. I had so many things planned to say to you, but now I… I'm just picturing you with Piper…" Larry mutters.
"Got you all flustered?" Alex laughs.
"You got me pissed off. How many times do you think you can come around and fuck up Piper's life, huh? I don't know what psychic black void your little game with her fills, but you need to end it now and stay away from her." Larry says.
Alex chuckles. "Not a problem. She's all yours, champ." Alex begins.
"Suddenly she's all mine when you have been working her over since she got here?" Larry snaps.
"Working her over? Are you fucking kidding me?" Alex scoffs. Larry is silent. "She came to me. Dragged me into that chapel and fucked me. Surprised me, too. She never used to be the aggressor. I guess it was a new colour she was trying on. Or maybe she was bored. Who knows? But I only know that she did it because she was an emotional wreck because of you!" Alex says.
"You fucked in a chapel?" Larry gasps.
"It's prison. There aren't a whole lot of options. So why are you here?" Alex asks.
"I wanted to meet you." Larry sighs.
"You obviously don't know what you want anymore or else you wouldn't be here warning me to stay away. I'm not your problem. You are your own problem. Or maybe Piper is. But either way. I love her and I always will. Now let me assure you, you can have her if she chooses you. Until then, I'm not going down without a fight. I never got over Piper and I'm not ready to risk losing her again." Alex says and she storms off.
Larry realises he needs to pick up his game and get Piper back before Alex does.
Meanwhile, Nicky rushes to Red. "Red! Red!" Nicky gasps.
"What?" Red asks.
"I think it might be too late. Mendez is up to something dark. What are we gonna do?" Nicky asks.
"It's time for war." Red says.
In their cube, Piper comforts Miss Claudette after noticing how down she is.
"I don't know the situation. But you helped me and I want to help you. Maybe you should take your own advice. I really feel like something good is going to happen to you Miss Claudette. But do not do what I do. Don't live with fear." Piper says.
Officer Bennett then enters. "Pelage. You didn't come to mail call." Bennett says.
"I never get any mail." Claudette mutters.
"You did today." Bennett says and hands Claudette a letter.
"See, I was right. This could be something." Piper smiles. Miss Claudette tears up. "I'll give you a minute." Piper says and leaves.
Miss Claudette gets emotional as she reads the letter. It's from the man she loves, who got married to someone else before she ever got the chance to tell him. He is informing Claudette that his wife has died and he wants to come visit. Miss Claudette smiles and tears up.
Mendez clues Caputo in about Red's illegal contraband and bringing in the drugs. He presents a bag of drugs to Caputo, claiming he found them in the kitchen. "I really fucking needed this, Mendez. You are much fucking smarter than you look." Caputo says.
"Just doing my job, sir." Mendez replies.
"This is the kind of thing I remember when it's time to move somebody up the ladder." Caputo says and Mendez smiles. "That kitchen Commie cunt is finally going down!" Caputo says. Mendez laughs. "Go get her." Caputo says.
Red is in Mr Healy's office counselling both he and his Russian wife, Katya. "She's bored. You should take her out more." Red translates for him.
"Well, maybe I would take her out more if she didn't flirt with other men." Healy mutters.
Katya then speaks Russian to Red. "I can't help I have a good body." Katya says.
"She says it's not her fault if other people look at her. Maybe you're too jealous." Red says.
"All I want is a nice quiet life, is that so much to ask?" Healy says.
"He wants peace and quiet." Red says in Russian to Katya.
"But he's the loudest person I know. He snores. And I don't like sleeping in his bed he has long toenails that scratch me." Katya says.
"Okay, you have to get a pedicure. The long toenails are a problem." Red translates.
Mendez enters. "Caputo wants to see you." Mendez grins.
"I'm busy." Red scoffs.
"I'd go now if I were you." Mendez smiles.
Red realizes she is in trouble. She knows what Mendez did. "Shit! You little bitch Mendez. Couldn't fight like a man." Red mutters.
"I'm confused here." Healy says.
"If it goes bad, take care of my girls." Red whispers to Healy and she leaves.
Mr Healy worries as Mendez smiles with victory.
Miss Claudette has had a long think and goes to Healy's office. "Do you have a second?" she asks.
"No. I'm with my wife. But you're here now." Healy mutters.
"I've changed my mind. I'd like to reopen my case." Claudette says. Mr Healy smiles.
Episode Fifteen:
Spring Cleaning
The prison is holding a cleaning week to prepare for the new upcoming season, summer.
Red is in the kitchen, working hard as usual and Mr Caputo enters. "What part of "out of the kitchen effective immediately" did you not understand?" Caputo says.
"Without my produce order, I have to re-plan the whole summer menu. I can't sit on the bench all day while you play out this little power trip. We'll all be eating sardines for dinner." Red explains.
"You're gonna be eating prison loaf when I drag you to Seg by that purple pelt on your head. Now, have some self-respect and don't make me do it." Caputo demands.
"Mr Caputo… the staff know I bring in harmless things like makeup and candy but not drugs. Don't be a fool." Red scoffs.
"It's too late Red, we can't turn our backs on this. We searched the kitchen after the evidence was brought to my attention and what'd you know? We found more drugs." Caputo explains.
"That corrupt creep Mendez is behind this and you know it." Red assures him knowing that Mendez planted evidence in the kitchen.
"I'm sorry. But you have been officially dismissed from all kitchen duties." Caputo says. Red is angry.
C.O. O'Neil and Gloria enter.
"Oh, It feels serious in here." Gloria mutters.
Red's face fills with worry.
"It smells good, though. What kind of soup is that?" O'Neil asks.
"Navy bean. I'll save you a bowl." Gina says as she stirs the soup.
"Gloria, you are reassigned to the kitchen. Head cook, queen bee. You start now." Caputo says. Red gasps.
Gloria is surprised. "Can I bring my people?" Gloria asks.
"Whatever you need to do. Get the forms from O'Neill." Caputo says.
"This is bullshit and you know it. This whole place will fall apart when I'm gone." Red scoffs.
"Let's go." Caputo says and gets Red to follow him.
Red pauses as she passes Gloria. "You're making a big mistake." She mutters as she is escorted out.
Piper is lying on her bed and she notices Miss Claudette is in an anxious but happy mood. "You're certainly…smiley today…" Piper says.
Miss Claudette smiles. "I am deciding to reopen my case for an appeal." Claudette reveals.
"Oh that's great news. Congratulations." Piper says.
"I'm extremely nervous. These things don't usually work out. But I have faith." Claudette says.
"That's good. You can always hope." Piper replies.
"Hope breeds eternal misery. Don't live life in the shadows of hope." Claudette says.
"No. I prefer to live life in the spotlight." Piper jokes.
"I've noticed." Claudette jokes back.
"So are you prepared?" Piper asks.
"I'm gonna start reading a few law books. I need to get as much insight to this as possible. I need to make sure I have a shot." Claudette says.
"You do have a shot. But can I make a few suggestions?" Piper asks.
"Sure." Claudette nods.
"Maybe a little makeup and a little touch up on the hair and you'll really look confident and refreshed and it will impress the committee when they interview you at your appeal." Piper suggests.
"Maybe you're right. Thank you." Claudette smiles and their bond becomes stronger.
"When I was a little girl, I was nervous to speak in front of a club…sort of like a committee I guess and first impressions were everything. But looking back on it, I think my hair was a mess." Piper laughs.
"Mm…" Claudette mutters.
"Did you join any clubs in school?" Piper asks.
"I don't like to dwell in the past…" Claudette says.
"Okay, I won't push it." Piper says.
~Flashback~
~Claudette came to America~
As a Haitian child, Miss Claudette Pelage was sold into the US child labour TRADE. Claudette began working at a live-in maid service in order to pay off her parents' debts. She met Jean Baptiste, an older kid that walked her into the maid service. She was extremely scared and anxious to start. She and Baptiste stood at the elevator ready to go up. Claudette was frightened she had never seen an elevator before.
"Claudette, press the button." Baptiste says in his fine French.
Claudette anxiously pushes the button and the doors open.
"It's called an elevator. Do not be scared. C'mon." Baptiste says and steps into the elevator. Claudette remains outside cautiously. "It's a magic flying box. Step in. Come. Trust me." Baptiste says. Claudette smiles and takes his hand and steps into the elevator. They then reach the apartment where the cleaners stay. One of the young maids open the door and let them in.
"Dee! Where's Dee? Get over here, child. Dee, take off that uniform, put an iron to it, and if you're not ready to go in five minutes, I'm sending you back on the next boat! Go!" Ti Tessa, the owner of the business demands to one of the girls before spotting Baptiste and Claudette.
"Baptiste, close the door, you're letting all the heat out. Get in here." She orders. Baptiste closes the door and Claudette nervously approaches the strict woman. "Who's this one?" Ti Tessa asks.
"This is Claudette." Baptiste smiles.
"Look at this skinny cat. Open your mouth. How are your teeth, skinny cat?" she replies.
Claudette then turns to Baptiste in fear and says in French, "I want to go home!"
Ti Tessa looks into Claudette's eyes. "This is your home now. And you will only speak English here. Understand?" Ti Tessa orders. Claudette nods. "Let me hear." Ti Tessa says.
"Yes, understanding." Claudette mutters.
"Go in the back and get changed. Uniforms are on the shelf in the hall. Go on! There's work to do." Ti Tessa orders.
"Work?" Claudette asks.
"Yes. You'll be working for me until you pay off your parents' debt. Now get in the back and change your clothes." She demands.
"How about we feed the cat, Ti Tessa? Give her a moment to breathe. It's all new." Baptiste says.
"It's all new! Hah! You got your money, Baptiste. Why are you still here?" Ti Tessa laughs.
"No one makes manje kreyol like you. You cook like home." Baptiste says.
Ti Tessa smiles. "Fine. Go in the kitchen, both of you." Ti Tessa replied.
Claudette stands nervously. Baptiste turns to her and speaks in French, "Take my hand. Come. I won't let anything bad happen. I promise." He assures her.
Claudette smiles. Claudette felt comfortable around him and he helped her get settled in at the child "slave labour" trade cleaning business. Working there really toughened Claudette and her friendship with Baptiste only grew stronger as the years passed.
~End of flashback~
Alex goes into the bathroom for a shower and she sees Nicky. Nicky looks upset – because of Red not being in the kitchen anymore. "Hey you. Are you alright?" Alex asks.
"Yeah. It's just not fair ya know?" Nicky sighs.
"Red? Yeah I heard…I'm sorry." Alex sighs.
"We all know it was Pornstache that did this. He is the whole fucking reason that my mom has lost her power." Nicky sighs with frustration.
"Red's tough. She'll survive." Alex says.
"Yeah I know. But I just can't help but blame myself. I feel so guilty. It's my fault. I snitched on her. I betrayed her." Nicky says emotionally.
"Nicky. This isn't your fault. It will work out." Alex says.
"Yeah but I betrayed my mother. Not even my real mother - my prison mother. Man, I am so fucked up!" Nicky says.
"Breathe. It's all gonna be fine. Red still loves you." Alex assures her.
Nicky wipes her tears. "You mean the way you love Chapman?" Nicky asks.
"What?" Alex replies.
"Admit it. I've seen the way you've looked at her ever since you guys started talking again. You love her." Nicky explains.
"What? No I don't. She's fucked up." Alex mutters.
"You love her." Nicky says. Alex is silent. She sighs as she takes this in. "Come on…admit it…" Nicky teases.
"You're right…fuck…" Alex scoffs. She tears up. "I'm in love with her." Alex sighs.
Nicky smiles. "See I knew it." She laughs.
"Man…this is fucked up." Alex laughs.
"No. It's natural. You guys are hot. You have romance. You have history. You have drama. Man it sounds like a combination of awesome TV shows." Nicky laughs.
"I never expected to see her again. But at the same time, that was part of the reason I named her. I wasn't only mad at her. I wanted to see her and prayed we'd end up here together." Alex reveals.
"Fuck. You know, I have to admit. I wanted to have a little more fun with you but now your going all domestic on me." Nicky reveals. Alex giggles and kisses Nicky on the cheek. Nicky blushes. "Cock tease." Nicky laughs.
The next day, Caputo has gathered the staff and plans on lecturing them and informing them of what happened yesterday with Red being fired from the kitchen. "Alright, listen up. I have a few things to go over with you all today." Caputo begins. The staff quiet down. "Alright. First of all, as you all may know, Reznikov has been dismissed from her kitchen duties." Caputo says.
"What? But I don't understand…this can't be right." Mr Healy gasps.
"No. It is right. And order will be restored at last. That Russian cunt won't be able to walk all over you guys anymore. She has no power. We do!" Caputo replies. Mendez laughs. "Which brings me to my next point, I've noticed some odd behaviour from some of you toward the inmates…" Caputo begins. Bennett gets nervous. "I have decided that you all need to pick up your game. You will all be required to be meaner. Don't let the inmates manipulate you." Caputo continues and looks at Healy. "I am instating a new SHOT quota. Start giving out more SHOTS! We need to crack down on these women! They think they can run us! They think they can sneak illegal shit in! It's not okay! This was happening for months under all your noses. It was because of C.O. Mendez's leadership and initiative. Thanks to him, we – I can start to take a stand. Which is why, I am promoting him to chief of officers. Congratulations Mendez." Caputo reveals. Healy gasps with shock.
Mendez smiles and stands up. "Thank you. I encourage you all to follow my lead." He smiles.
After breakfast, Miss Claudette goes into the library, where she is determined to find and read a few law books to learn whatever she can to help with her appeal. Claudette spends hours in the library studying for her date with the caseworkers.
Taystee and Poussey, who work in the library notice Miss Claudette's concentration. "Yo, what you think she doing?" Poussey whispers.
"I don't know. Law books aren't her thing." Taystee whispers back.
"Her appeal? Damn." Poussey replies.
"No doubt Chapman helped her." Taystee jokes.
Miss Claudette hears them. "I'm not deaf!" Miss Claudette mutters.
"Yo, I'm sorry we just ain't used to seeing you in here a whole lot." Poussey says.
"Yeah. What are you reading law for?" Taystee asks.
"That is none of your business." Claudette mutters.
"Yo, c'mon. We ain't gonna tell no one." Poussey says.
"I have an appeal coming up. I need to study hard. I could be looking at a lot less time." Claudette sighs.
"Oh shit! For real? Yo man, that's sick! Congratulations yo!" Poussey smiles and goes to high-five her but she stares at Poussey instead. "Sorry…" Poussey mutters.
"We are very happy for you and so proud! Our voodoo mamma is gonna get out and find herself a man!" Taystee giggles.
"A man? No, no…I am far to old for a man…sex isn't my thing…" Claudette mutters.
"It ain't about sex. It's bout love. No one is too old to love." Poussey sighs.
Miss Claudette is silent. She smiles. "As you can see, I'm busy." She says and dismisses Taystee and Poussey. Miss Claudette thinks about the possibility of Baptiste and she smiles.
~Flashback~
~As time passes, feelings grow"
As an adult, Claudette ran a similar operation to the one she was sold to she called her company "Clean Makers". She and Baptiste were still close good friends and she was deeply in love with him. But she was scared to tell him how she felt. He's always been there for her. When she was scared, lonely, sad, he was always there.
One day, she was escorting him to the airport as he was preparing to travel. "I'm going to miss you, as always." Claudette smiles.
"I'll miss you too. Just don't forget about me." He smiles.
"I won't. I will wait for you." She smiles and hugs him goodbye.
"I'll see you later." He says and kisses her cheek. Baptiste begins to walk away.
Claudette tries to build up the courage to tell him how she feels. "Baptiste! Wait!" she calls.
"Yes Claudette?" he asks.
Claudette is silent. She can't bring herself to say it. "Be safe. I'll miss you. Goodbye." She sighs and Baptiste walks to the terminal.
~End of flashback~
Alex, filled with confidence, tries reaching out to Piper and apologizes once again wanting to win her heart back before Larry does. She finds Piper in the common room and approaches her. "Hey Can I talk to you?" Alex mutters.
"I don't know. Can you?" Piper asks.
"Listen, I just wanted to say how sorry I am, again. I really am." Alex sighs.
Piper shakes her head. "I already told you how I feel Alex!" Piper grunts, trying to control her feelings.
Suzanne then intervenes and defends Piper. "Oh Vause… I think you need to leave." Suzanne says.
"Not now Crazy Eyes, the grown ups are talking." Alex mutters. Suzanne snaps.
"I said back the hell off! Dandelion ain't in the mood for your shit so walk the hell away!" Suzanne snaps in a warning tone.
"Whatever. I tried!" Alex scoffs and walks away.
"Thanks. But you don't have to do that for me, Suzanne." Piper sighs.
"Well a new season is coming and I want everything to start fresh in summer. I got your back Dandelion." Suzanne smiles.
Red gathers her girls, in hopes to make her army stronger. "We have to do something! We need to take Mendez down and really show him that he fucked with the wrong crew. Right Nicky?" Red mutters.
"Sure…" Nicky sighs.
The others are silent. "Well come on! What's wrong with you girls? Gina, Norma, you guys can be my eyes on the inside of that kitchen. You can help me destroy it within!" Red explains.
The girls awkwardly look at each other. "Look, here's the thing Red, you are powerless. We aren't under your control anymore." Gina mutters.
"Now those Spanish bitches call the shots…sorry." Boo adds.
Red gasps. "Don't do this. Girls stop pussing out! I need you all. We aren't gonna let them beat us." Red says. The girls are silent. "Nicky back me up here!" Red begs.
Nicky is hesitant. "Look Red, I'm sorry… I can't help but blame myself. But maybe you should face the fact. Mendez won." Nicky sighs with regret. Red's face falls with disappointment.
"Besides, Gloria promised to keep me and Norma in the kitchen. We like it there. We gotta go start lunch shift." Gina says.
"Fine. Did you explain to her about the inventory? That protein order has to last into next month. I'll come back and there will be nothing but scraps for me to work with." Red explains.
"They all talk Spanish when we're around." Gina says.
"Listen, Jesus. She may have fed a quinceanera or two, but this will catch up with her soon enough. Feeding an entire prison population day in and day out is a whole other pot of fish stew and when she starts to drown in it, we'll be the ones who will pay the price. It'll take us weeks to put everything back into working order. This is what I need you to do. Speed up the inevitable. Overcook and over-salt. We need the inmates to revolt." Red begins explaining her plan.
"Red, we're on the B-team. We don't go anywhere near food prep anymore. She's got us stacking boxes, serving, cleaning…" Gina explains.
"Well, start serving very slowly then. The meal times will be all screwed up. It'll throw the whole camp off." Red scoffs.
"Yeah, I don't know. I mean, she runs a pretty tight ship, right, Norma?" Gina says and Norma nods. "I don't think we'll get away with it." Gina sighs.
"Don't think, Gina. Just do it. You want to be stacking boxes for the rest of your stay? You listen to what I'm telling you, you need to fuck with that kitchen." Red says.
"Sorry Red…I don't know…" Gina mutters and she and Norma walk off. Boo scoffs and walks off too, followed by Yoga Jones, DeMarco and Morello. Nicky feels bad.
Red almost has tears in her eyes. "Nicky…" she begs.
"I'm sorry…but it's over Red…" Nicky sighs and walks away. Red doesn't know what to do without her power and the girls.
Moments later in the kitchen, Gloria then pulls Norma and Gina aside for a word. "Heard you's were talking to Red before. What are you up to? Huh? Because let me tell you something, you do not want to fuck me with. You fuck with this kitchen, I'll have you outta here so fast you'll think your ass grew wheels." Gloria warns them.
"Hey, we just wanna do a good job." Gina mutters.
"Yeah? Then why you in the pantry sniffin' around the dry goods when I asked you to wipe down the service station?" Gloria asks.
"We were just…" Gina tries to answer.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, mira, I got four kids, I know every trick there is. Now, I kept you here 'cause you know your shit. It's not your fault that Red lost the kitchen. But we all know this is one of the good jobs. Don't let Red take you down with her. Vamos, let's go." Gloria orders. Norma and Gina agree to do what they're told.
At another bench Daya, Flaca, Maritza and Maria are rolling some dough. "All of us in the kitchen, making tamales. Almost feels like Christmas at home." Daya smiles.
"Sí, excepto que mi tío Fernando no está cerca para meter la mano en mis pantalones." Flaca says.
(Yes, except my uncle Fernando ain't around to stick his hand down my pants.)
"Please, speak English." Daya sighs.
"How about you learn Spanish?" Flaca scoffs.
In my family, it's Cousin Frankie. Fuckin' perv. My mother hit him with a brick when he messed with my niece once. Broke his cheekbone. Now half his face is kinda sunk in. Serves him right." Maria reveals.
"My daughter's with my cousin at some marimacha collective she's part of. Not a dick for miles. And I want it so." Maritza says.
"You ain't worried they'll turn her gay?" Flaca asks.
"She's a baby. Plus I don't got that much time. I'll get her back before she knows anything." Maritza replies.
"Yo, Dayanara why are you even in here? Ain't you sick or something?" Flaca asks.
"Yeah, I don't feel too great." Daya says.
"Aye, you look pale. Maybe you should go lay down…" Maria says.
"Yeah…I think I'm gonna throw up." Daya says and she leaves the kitchen.
Miss Claudette goes to the salon and nervously sits down. "Don't take too much off! I just want it to look neat." Claudette says stressfully.
"Relax. It's not like I'm exactly overwhelmed with the possibilities." Sophia says, in a sarcastic manor. Claudette gives her the evil eye. Sophia laughs. "So when's your visitor?" Sophia asks.
"Who said I had a visitor?" Claudette asks.
"You've never let me touch your head, and I would take it personally if I didn't know how cheap you are with your commissary. He must be pretty special for you to part with all those Tums." Sophia says.
"It's a friend. Someone I haven't seen in a long time." Claudette reveals, referring to her dear friend Baptiste.
"How long?" Sophia asks.
"Ten years." Claudette mutters.
"That is a long time. I think I know what we're gonna do." Sophia says and grabs some hair dye. "So just a friend?" Sophia winks.
"Yes." Claudette mutters.
"You ever married?" Sophia asks.
"No. And I don't care to dwell on romance." Claudette says.
~Flashback~
~Baptiste returns with news~
Almost a year later, Claudette was working as her usual day-to-day life goes. She was showing one of her new girls around. "That's the way it is. You work, you pay off your debt, then you go off and live your life. Do you understand?" Claudette says. The girl nods Claudette then hands the girl a blouse. "You can wear it with slacks, or with a skirt and tights. What do you prefer?" Claudette asks.
"Skirt." The girl mutters.
"Okay. It is important that you keep your uniform clean. You can't be trusted to clean a house if you can't keep yourself." Claudette says.
"Yes, Miss Claudette." The girl mutters.
"When you go to people's homes, you will be polite, and clean, and respectful. No foolishness, no laziness. And it's, "Yes, ma'am," "Yes, sir." No back talk, understood?" Claudette explains. The girl nods. "Speak up, child." Claudette says.
"Sorry. Yes, ma'am." The girl says.
"Good. Put your things away and come into the kitchen for some food when you've settled in." Claudette says and the girl leaves the room.
Claudette is then surprised when Baptiste returns. "Baptiste!" she gasps with surprise and hugs him. "You were gone long this trip. Too long." She gasps.
"I brought something for you." He smiles.
"You know I don't like gifts." Claudette says.
"Everyone likes gifts, even you." He says. She blushes. He hands her a bag.
"Mangoes! Thank you. They're my favourites." Claudette smiles with pleasure.
"I know that." He smiles.
"Oh I missed you." She sighs and hugs him again.
"Hey Claudette, I got married." Baptiste reveals.
Claudette is silent. Her heart breaks. She is almost speechless. "Congratulations." Claudette mutters.
"She's here." Baptiste reveals.
"She's here? What do you mean, she's here? Where?" Claudette gasps.
"Josephine, come here." Baptiste says as he pokes his head around the corner.
Baptiste's wife, Josephine enters and she is tall and thin and pretty.
Claudette feels awkward. Jealous. Hurt. "Hello." Claudette mutters.
"Bonjour." Josephine smiles.
"Claudette, this is Josephine." Baptise says.
"Come in, please. So nice to meet you. Can I get you something to drink?" Claudette smiles politely.
"Yes, that would be wonderful." Josephine says.
"Orange juice?" Claudette suggests.
"Perfect." Josephine replies.
"I'll get it. Claudette, sit down. Can I get you a malta?" Baptiste insists.
"Yes, thank you. In the icebox." Claudette says and she sits.
"My husband speaks of you often." Josephine says.
"Yes. We've been friends a long time." Claudette sighs.
"I don't know how you've done it all these years." Josephine says.
"Done what?" Claudette asks.
"Taken in these children when you could've have children of your own. It must be so difficult." Josephine says.
"Yes. Well…I've made my peace with it." Claudette mutters. She is still shocked and heartbroken. Claudette is forced to bond with this woman but is hurting so badly on the inside.
~End of flashback~
Taystee, Cindy, Janae and Poussey come and find Piper in the common room and corner her. "Is something wrong?" Piper asks.
"Nah…we just need to pick that white brain of yours…" Cindy says.
"Alright…" Piper says.
"Look, Miss Claudette's good news has inspired us. Given us hope." Taystee says.
"Hope for what?" Piper asks.
"We want you to look over our cases." Janae says.
"Help us get an appeal man." Poussey adds.
"Pussy, am I saying that right? Pussy…I haven't gone over your letter yet but I just don't know if…" Piper begins but Poussey stops her.
"My name is POUSSEY! Accent à droite, Bitch!" Poussey snaps.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry." Piper sighs.
"It's all good, P calm down…" Taystee says and holds Poussey.
"Look, we figured you smart and all so why the hell can't you help us?" Cindy asks.
"Guys. I don't know how many times I have to say this. I'm not a lawyer." Piper says.
"Man we know that! Ain't no lawyers in prison!" Janae scoffs.
"Look bitch, we are warning you…" Taystee says.
"Oh yeah we warning…" Cindy adds.
"You better get your skinny white ass into gear and help us, please or else…" Taystee says.
"Yeah, it's just fucking racist to throw black people in prison anyway." Janae adds.
"Actually, I don't think that's how it works…" Piper tries to explain.
"Man, come on. Stop being a downer. Can you help us or not?" Poussey asks.
"Maybe. I'll try. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go have lunch." Piper says and pushes past them.
In the cafeteria, Alex is grabbing her tray and accidently bumps into Suzanne. "Shit. Sorry." Alex sighs.
Suzanne snaps. "Hold it! I know what this is…" Suzanne says.
"What?" Alex asks with irritation.
"You pushed me because you are angry that I defended Piper." Suzanne says.
"No…I didn't push you." Alex replies.
"Stop lying…lying gets you nowhere. Now, here's what we should do. I suggest you walk away." Suzanne warns her.
"Whatever, I am not afraid of you Crazy Eyes." Alex scoffs. Alex then turns away and Suzanne throws her slice of pie at Alex.
"What the hell? You fucking freakazoid!" Alex snaps. Alex and Suzanne clash.
"You should be scared…" Suzanne taunts her. Alex has had enough and slaps Suzanne.
Taystee and the black girls rush over and pull Suzanne away. "Yo, you should know better than to mess with Crazy Eyes. I mean that shit is just mean - you slapped a girl that ain't all there if you know what I mean." Taystee says.
"Yeah, you cruel bitch." Cindy jokes.
Alex is fed up. She mocks them. "Why don't we go back to the old days where you guys would be kissing my feet and working for me. Because then I could throw pie at you guys all fucking day! I am not afraid of you or that psychotic freak!" Alex scoffs and steps up to Taystee.
"You trying to step up?" Taystee scoffs.
"Oh, this bitch wants a fight…" Cindy says.
They get into a fight and Janae punches Alex in the face.
Officer's O'Neil and Bell rush over. "Break it up!" Bell shouts.
"Knock it off!" O'Neil adds as they break up the fight.
"Come on anger management, you're going back to the SHU." Bell says referring to Janae.
"What the fuck? Man I didn't do nothing. It was this bitch!" Janae explains.
"Man this is some racism shit!" Cindy scoffs.
"Come quietly…or else…" Bell warns her and takes Janae away to the SHU.
Alex remains and Cindy approaches her. "You better watch your back bitch." Cindy whispers and pushes past Alex.
Daya is lying in her bed, feeling really sick. Aleida enters with a bucket. "I brought you this. In case you throw up again. I heard you talking in the kitchen earlier. Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" Aleida asks.
"I haven't forgiven you." Daya says.
"Well get over it. I'm your mother. Besides I haven't seen that Bennett around in a couple of days where is he?" Aleida asks.
"There's a flu going around or something. Haven't you noticed? A few girls here a sick too. Change of seasons or whatever." Daya reveals.
"Alright. Well here, take this bucket. Keep it there till you feel better." Aleida says.
"Thanks." Daya sighs and takes the bucket.
"So how are you feeling at the moment?" Aleida asks.
"Fine. Everyone else seems to be getting over it. I should be back to normal soon." Daya says.
"You ain't got what everybody else has." Aleida says.
"How do you know?" Daya asks.
"'Cause your tits are popping out of your shirt. Same shit happened to me every fuckin' time." Aleida scoffs.
"Every time what?" Daya asks with confusion.
"You'll feel better in nine months." Aleida laughs. Daya gasps and realizes she is pregnant.
That afternoon, Miss Claudette is expecting a visit from Baptiste and as she makes her way to the visitation room Officer Bell stops her. "They didn't call your name, you don't have a visitor." Bell mutters.
"But maybe there is a mistake. Please, can you double check?" Claudette sighs.
Bell rolls her eyes and grabs her radio to contact O'Neil. "Yeah, O'Neill, you sure you don't have anybody on the list for Pelage?" Bell asks.
"Miss Claudette? Come on, that joke's older than my nana." O'Neil laughs.
Claudette is saddened.
"It's not a joke this time." Bell sighs.
"Wait. Yeah, yeah, she's on the list. Sorry, I thought it was a joke." O'Neil says. Officer Bell signals Claudette to go in.
Claudette enters the visitation room nervously and smiles as she sees Baptiste. She rushes over to him. "Am I allowed to touch you?" he asks. She smiles and hugs him. They embrace ever so sweetly, sharing a long hug. "You are glowing." He says.
"Am I?" she blushes.
"Yes. Beautiful." He smiles.
"I got your letter. I am very sorry about Josephine." Claudette sighs.
"Yes. Thanks you. It's been hard. I got your letter too. Sounds like it can be boring in here at times." Baptiste says.
"It does." Claudette sighs. She continues to smile, she is just so happy to see him.
"I do love you, you know. I always have Claudette." Baptiste reveals.
Claudette is surprised. "Really?" She gasps.
"Yes." He smiles. She blushes.
"Likewise." She smiles. He grabs her hand and they smile at each other.
"No touching!" an officer demands. Baptiste removes his hand.
"Jean, I don't want to jinx it, but I think I'll hear about my appeal soon, in a couple of weeks or so." Claudette says.
"Where would you like to go?" Baptiste asks.
"What do you mean?" Claudette asks.
"On your first night out. Where should we go? Anywhere you like. You must believe, lanmou mwen. Believe and it will happen." He assures her.
She smiles. "You remember that little Italian place down in the basement, on Montague Street? The one with the fresh bread." Claudette says excitedly.
"Of course I do." He smiles.
"I'd like to go there." She says. "And after?" he asks.
"Anywhere, as long as it's with you." She smiles.
~Flashback~
~Claudette loves the children~
A week or so later, the new girl that Claudette had brought in is crying, refusing to shower. She is scared to speak. The other girls stare.
"Do you understand? Okay? You go in, get undressed, and bathe now. What's going on? Speak up for yourself!" Claudette demands. The girl continues to sob. "Leave us be." Claudette says to the other girls and she closes the door so she is alone with the girl "What happened to you? You can tell me." Claudette assures her.
The girl lifts her blouse to reveal she has been badly beaten and has brutal bruises all over her body. The man she cleans for had done this to her.
Claudette gasps. She is shocked and disgusted sickened by this. She wipes the girls tears. "I am so sorry, child." Claudette sighs and hugs the girl. "I'll take care of it…"
~End of flashback~
Piper is in her bunk reading and the black girls interrupt. "Yo, white bitch…" Cindy says.
"What now? I told you I haven't looked over it yet…" Piper says. The black girls are mad. They stare at Piper with anger. "What?" Piper asks.
"Your girl got Janae's ass thrown in SHU part two." Poussey grunts.
"Yeah…she ain't done nothing. You're skeleton girlfriend did this!" Taystee scoffs.
"What are you talking about?" Piper asks.
"Man, you're girl Alex! What? You ain't seen that shit in the cafeteria! I know you ain't blind." Cindy says.
"Alex isn't my girl. This isn't my fault." Piper says.
"Well what you gonna do about it, huh?" Cindy asks.
"There isn't anything I can do!" Piper says.
Tiffany interrupts and defends Piper. "Yo, ghetto gals, why don't y'all just keep walking…" Tiffany says.
"Excuse me?" Taystee scoffs.
"Please. In the name of god." Tiffany says.
They roll their eyes. "Man, we ain't gonna take that racism!" Taystee says.
"Mmhm, especially cause you Christian and all…" Cindy adds.
"Man…why don't you keep walking, fucking meth head cracker!" Poussey adds.
"I have nothing against blacks, but I ain't appreciating the bullying. Chapman ain't done nothing to the sporty one. The crazy one started it. So did that walking lesbian stick." Tiffany says.
"Bullying? Man, we ain't bullying. Right Chapman?" Cindy asks. Piper is silent.
"Hold up! The sporty one? You mean Watson?" Taystee asks.
"Watson? What kinda negro name is that?" Tiffany laughs.
"Bitch, I know you ain't use the N word!" Cindy says.
"Man, let me just knock this bitch…" Poussey says.
"Nah. We good. Come on, let's leave these white bitches." Taystee says and the black girls leave.
"Thank you." Piper sighs.
"Sure." Tiffany smiles and walks off.
Alex paces in her cube and she isn't willing to give up on Piper. She knows she has to beat Larry. Alex then gets an idea. She storms into Mr Healy's office and politely requests to be roomed with Piper. "I beg your pardon…" he mutters.
"Chapman. I'd like to be bunked with her. Please." Alex sighs.
"I'm not too sure about this." Healy sighs with worry.
"It's nothing "gay" it's just she's my friend and my current bunkie drives me insane. I swear." Alex begs.
"I'll get back to you on that. I need to go over the paperwork and figure it out. A new quarter is starting so a lot of changes are coming that's all…" Healy explains.
"Okay…" Alex says.
"But I'll be in touch." He says.
"Thank you so much Mr Healy." Alex sighs and walks out with a smile, hoping it will get her closer to Piper again.
Miss Claudette returns to her cube and is happy. She notices Piper is "distracted" – still stressed over the black girls incident. "You okay?" Claudette asks.
"Well you're looking…bright." Piper smiles.
"Yes. I just saw my friend, after a very long time." Claudette reveals.
"Oh that's wonderful." Piper smiles.
"I am sorry for the way I treated you, when we were first roomed. I am grateful of our friendship." Claudette smiles. Piper smiles back. "You're fighting aren't you? You and the fiancée?" Claudette asks.
"Yeah… I don't even know anymore…" Piper sighs.
"I think you should call him. Talk to him. Work it out. Make it right. Tell him how you feel." Claudette encourages.
Piper smiles. "You're right." Pipers smiles and she soldiers out to call Larry.
Claudette smiles proudly. She has hope that love still exists in the world.
~Flashback~
~Claudette gets revenge on the child-beater~
The following day, Claudette arrives at the predator's house. She knocks and he opens the door – confused to see someone else instead of the young girl he beats.
"Hello, Mr Jones. I'm from Clean Makers. The regular girl couldn't make it, so I'm here." Claudette smiles politely and makes her way inside. The man's face fills with guilt and disappointment.
Moments later, Claudette is washing up a butchers knife. She wipes down the benches and folds the tea towels.
Claudette then picks up the trash bag and steps over the man's body. He is lying in a pool of blood and she smiles proudly and leaves.
Two days later, she was arrested for the murder of Mr Jones and for human trafficking. Claudette was shocked, due to her extreme cleanliness, she safely assumed it was unlikely she'd get caught.
~End of flashback~
Piper is then on the phone to Larry. "Larry? Oh thank god you answered. Listen, I am so, so, so sorry. I am so sorry. I love you and I never meant to hurt you." Piper blurts out.
"Piper, relax. I'm sorry too. This is partly my fault, I admit." Larry sighs.
"So does this mean you forgive me?" Piper asks.
"I don't know. Does this mean you and Alex are over?" he replies.
"Yes. I don't know. I think so. Yes." Piper mutters.
"Piper, that doesn't sound very convincing." Larry sighs.
"No seriously, I'm sorry. I am. I love you and that's all that matters right?" Piper smiles.
"If that's all that matters, then marry me." Larry says. "
What?" Piper asks with confusion.
"Marry me. As soon as possible. Get a request form or something, people do that right? Assure me of your love and loyalty by committing to me." Larry says.
"Larry we are already engaged." Piper says.
"Well I want to speed things along. I need to be sure you will never lie or cheat again. I can't lose you to Alex." Larry sighs.
Piper is silent, she doesn't know what to do. She pauses and realises she isn't angry at Alex.
"Piper, are you still there?" he asks.
"Yes…I'm here…" she sighs.
"So? What do you say? Marry me?" he asks. Piper is silent. She takes a deep breath before deciding…
What will Daya do about the baby? What will Piper decide? Will Red get the kitchen back?
Find out in Season Two…
Recurring Cast
Aleida Diaz – Elizabeth Rodriguez. Amelia Addams – Christina Ricci. Amy Bloom – Kathryn Kates. Angie Rice – Julie Lake. Anita DeMarco – Lin Tucci. Bill Chapman – Bill Hoag.
Blanca Flores – Laura Gomez. Cal Chapman – Michael Chernus. Carol Chapman – Deborah Rush. Carrie "Big Boo" Black – Lea DeLaria.
Celeste Chapman – Marry Looram. Cesar – Berto Colon.
C.O. Charles Ford – Germar Terrell Gardner. Christina Diaz – Brianna Gonzalez-Bonacci.
Cindy "Black Cindy" Hayes – Adrienne C. Moore. Crystal Bursett – Tanya Wright.
Dmitri Reznikov – Gregory Korostishevsky. C.O. Eliqua Maxwell – Lolita Foster.
Emiliano Diaz – Nicholas Daniel Gonzalez. Erica "Yoga Jones" Jones – Constance Shulman.
Eva Diaz – Allison Fernandez. Ganya – David Ross.
C.O. George "Pornstache" Mendez – Pablo Schreiber. Gina Murphy – Abigail Savage.
Gloria Mendoza – Selenis Leyva. Howard Bloom – Todd Susman.
Igme Dimaguiba – Kaipo Schwab. Jean Baptiste - James McDaniel.
C.O. Joel Luschek – Matt Peters.
C.O. John Bennett – Matt McGorry. C.O. Jordan Thompson – Harold Surratt.
Josephine Baptiste - Kristen Adele. Leanne Taylor – Emma Myles.
Loretta Fisher – Cristina J. Huie. Lorna Morello – Yael Stone.
Lucy Diaz – Adriana Camposano. Marcus's friend Patrick – Morgan Spector.
Maria Ruiz – Jessica Pimentel. Marina – Nahanni Johnstone.
Marisol "Flaca" Gonzales – Jackie Cruz. Maritza Ramos – Diane Guerrero.
Mei Chang – Lori Tan Chinn. Michael Bursett – Michael Rainey Jr.
Miss Claudette Pelage – Michelle Hurst. Miss Rosa Cisneros – Barbara Rosenblat.
Natalie "Fig" Figueroa – Alysia Reiner. Norma Romano – Annie Golden.
Pete Harper – Nick Stevenson. Polly Harper – Maria Dizzia.
Poussey Washington – Samira Wiley. Pre-transitioning Sophia/Marcus Bursett – M Lamar.
Reece Farrah – Farrah Krenek. Rhonda "Weeping Woman" Gerrman – Tamara Torres.
C.O. Scott O'Neil – Joel Marsh Garland. Sister Jane Ingalls – Beth Fowler.
Sonya – Marina Kotovnikov. C.O. Susan Fischer – Lauren Lapkus. Tricia Miller – Madeline Brewer. Vasily Reznikov – Alexander Wraith.
Wanda Bell – Catherine Curtin. Young Jean Baptiste - Vladimi Versailles.
Others Uncredited.
Codez FanFiction
