Author Note: This story is written in Inuyasha's perspective. I loved the idea of this story, and couldn't wait to get it on paper. I hope you enjoy it!
Title: The Letter
Author: GodistheLoverofmySoul
One-Shot
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha
"Hey stupid, get out of the road!"
I look over at the irritated driver in a silver Honda; a young woman with slim frame glasses and a scowl on her face. I raise my hand in apology, watching as she slams on the gas and narrowly misses a white taxi. Standing on the sidewalk I shake my head with a smirk and glance at my watch, seeing its 2:00 pm. I let out a frustrated sigh when I realize I'm thirty minutes late. I wipe away the sweat beginning to form on my forehead and make my way down the crowded streets.
Playing chicken with an oncoming car was not an unusual occurrence in Wilburn, Georgia. With tourists coming in and locals heading to work, the sleepy town turns into a bustling metropolis over night.
As I walk down Broad Street, I try to imagine what the conversation today will involve. Bitter memories roll into my mind like a thunder storm, and I find myself unconsciously clenching my jaw. My feet drag on the concrete as I come up on Linda's Diner. I grit my teeth and push open the door, hearing the small bell signal my appearance. A few customers glance my way, and then return to their conversations over large portions of bacon and eggs.
I look over at the large jukebox in the corner of the restaurant, and see the reason for my irritation; a man reading a newspaper and sipping coffee in the booth across from it. I swallow hard and walk towards him, every step feeling like hundred pound weights were tied to my sneakers. As the sound of my footfalls alert my presence, the man looks up and stands, reaching out his hand in expectation. I grab it, but I don't apply pressure. There is enough in the room.
"Hello little brother."
I let go of his hand and take a step back.
"Hello," I say through gritted teeth. He gives me a hard look and takes his seat. I take my jacket off and slide into the seat across from him.
"Are you hungry? I ordered your usual southwestern omelet with toast."
I look up at him and shrug. I don't want to eat. I don't want to talk, but it seems I've been trapped into doing both. At that time the waitress came with my omelet and a cup of coffee. She lays it down in front of me and goes through the usual questions: Do you need more napkins? Would you like any creamer for your coffee? Is there anything else I can get you? She says this all while chomping on a piece of gum, like a cow chewing on cud. I find myself clinching my fists, a tick beginning to form above my left eyebrow. I say no to the onslaught of questions, and with a pop of her gum, she struts off.
As I begin to relax and pick up my fork to skewer the omelet, he speaks.
"So Inuyasha, how has the music class been going? I've heard the jazz band is doing quite well this year," he says.
I chew my omelet slowly, trying not to show the dumfounded look that was slowly creeping onto my face.
Sesshomaru, the bane of my existence, was actually trying to have a civil conversation with the bane of his existence?
I watch his face carefully as I slowly swallow.
"Look Sesshomaru, I don't want to go through this attempted small talk you're trying to force on me. We haven't spoken since dad's funeral, and now suddenly out of the blue, you have something important to say. Well, I can't wait to hear this one."
I fling my fork down on the table with a crash, as numerous faces turn in our direction.
Sesshomaru glares at me, his eyes narrowing behind his black-rimmed glasses. He silently reaches into his suit pocket and pulls out a yellow envelope and slams it on the table. I look from the envelope back up to Sesshomaru's steely gaze. I lift my coffee cup off the table and take a sip.
"What's that supposed to be, a job offer from your fancy law firm? I guess my measly teaching salary isn't good enough for you, but then again what is these days?"
He doesn't say a word; just pushes the envelope towards me across the table. I roll my eyes, take another sip from my coffee cup, and pick the envelope up. I start to read the return address, and the black liquid almost makes its way onto Sesshomaru's Armani suite.
I take a napkin and wipe the small amount that did manage to escape my lips and reread the return address, making sure I made no mistake.
I look up at Sesshomaru in disbelief. He threaded his fingers together and sighed.
"I wanted to meet with you so you would have time to make a decision."
I looked at him in confusion, which soon turned to anger.
"Make what decision? Did you read it?" I stood up in my seat, adrenaline pulsing through my veins.
He doesn't say a word. He just stares at me, and then glances down to the envelope. I don't want to believe it's real but the evidence is lying heavy in my hands, her perfect cursive writing staring up at me; her name in bold letters.
Kagome Higurashi
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I remember seeing her for the first time. Long ebony hair, creamy white skin, and eyes the color of ice. She always sat in the back of music class, writing poems or whatever it was that girls wrote in her notebook. I think that's what attracted me to her. She was a loner, as I was. I started sitting next to her in class, trying to gain the nerve to ask for her number. She hardly said a word, not even when I tried to make her laugh with one of my numerous lame jokes. She would crack a smile every now and then, more for my benefit than hers. I never understood why she gave me her number the first time I asked.
Our relationship grew from there. She opened up more and more each time I saw her, telling me things I don't think her mother even knew; disturbing things. Kagome hated her mother, with anger I didn't know a sixteen year old could even express, apart from myself. I told her of the many yelling matches me and my brother Sesshomaru had taken part in on a daily basis, usually involving how I wasn't worthy of being in the Takahashi family because my mother was a home wreaker. Of course, I would come back with the fact that our father had left his mother because she was a backstabbing whore, but I digress.
Her father had died from a massive heart attack when she was twelve, and not even two months after his death her mother had, "Nightly visitors visit her bedchamber," as Kagome had politely put it.
I tried to give her words of encouragement; tried desperately to show her how beautiful she was to me. It was during those moments that I had realized how hard I had fallen, especially since it had only been a few months. I had never been as brutally honest with someone, as I was with Kagome. I surprised myself when I said the words I love you, but even more so when she returned them.
The fall semester seemed to pass so quickly during my senior year. I had been held back a year because of a math class I had refused to take part in in the seventh grade, and now was paying for my pride and stupidity by graduating at the age of nineteen. However, it was a turning point in my life. I had decided I wanted to go into music to be a teacher, to show kids how much music could make a difference in their lives, as it had in mine.
Music was my sanctuary from the world, especially from Sesshomaru. No one could touch me when I was strumming the strings of my guitar, feeling the strings move with the rhythm of my fingers.
Kagome was becoming more important to me as the semester went on. She was finally beginning to come out of her shell. Not completely, but layer by layer.
My parents were wary of our relationship, noticing how much time we spent together. My father especially, focused on telling me to wait to have an intimate relationship until marriage, as he had with my mother. Unfortunately, I didn't share his view.
The first time was in the back of my graduation present; a brand new Ford F150, navy blue, 2006 model. When I picked her up to go to the movies that night, the most interesting thing I expected to happen was to sit in a popcorn saturated theater and watch a gun-blazing, heart-pumping thriller. "No chick flicks," she had told me.
Afterward, sitting in my driveway, filling her lips against mine, something came over me and I pushed to test her limits.
She didn't even put up a fight.
I knew I shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation, but I couldn't stop myself.
A few weeks after that night, I noticed she was acting awkward around me. She would go through all the motions and smile at all the unspoken cues, but I knew something was up. Even more unnerving were all the weird looks I was receiving from some of my classmates; ranging from sympathetic to a loathing glare. When the rumor's starting circulating the school, it didn't take long for me to confront her.
It was a Thursday, rainy as it usually is in Georgia during March, clearly setting the mood. I had found her in the gym after school had ended, sitting on the bleachers and playing with a tennis ball in her hands. I walked up to her and waited a whole minute before she looked up at me.
"Kagome, what is going on? And don't tell me 'nothing'. I hate it when you do that."
She stared at me with a blank look, like she was looking right through me. She started throwing the green ball up in the air and catching it with her left hand, hypnotically. I snatched the ball out of the air and threw it across the floor, hearing it echo against the walls.
"Don't ignore me Kagome! Tell me, why is everyone saying you're pregnant?"
That seemed to wake her from her trance as she stared at me with a horrified grimace. I noticed her hands were clutching her abdomen, and at that moment I didn't have to hear the confirmation.
Without warning, anger and rage rushed through me like wildfire. I clenched my fists and glared at her. She stood up and started to back away, fear evident on her face. I knew I was causing it, but I didn't care; not then.
"How could you do this? Do you have any idea what's happened? You're pregnant! What am I gonna do? My parents are gonna kill me. I can't go to college now, I can't have a life. You've ruined it!"
I knew I didn't make any sense and I knew it was a lie, but before I could begin to calm down, Kagome walked up to me and slapped my check so hard the sound echoed in the empty space. I immediately put my hand to my cheek, filling the sting seep into my skin. I watched as tears streamed down her face, knowing I caused them.
"I hate you," she said softly, her voice trembling.
She turns around, goes down the bleachers and pushes through the door, leaving me alone with my stinging cheek. I ran my fingers through my long, black hair, and for the first time since I was very young, I fell to the ground and cried.
After I had calmed down and dragged myself from the floor, I slumped against the bleachers and began to think about the situation Kagome and I were in.
She was pregnant. A life was growing inside her. As I thought about it, my father's words kept ringing in my ears.
"Each life is precious, Inuyasha. God never makes mistakes."
My dad was a Christian, a man of God. I had never really understood his faith until he had explained to me the reason for following it. My dad had lived a hard life. At the time, the things that were flashing through my mind were drug deals and high speed chases, and I wasn't far from the truth.
My dad had tried every drug that came into his possession, from cocaine and heroin to even huffing with electronic duster out of desperation when he didn't have drugs on hand. He got into stealing cars to get his drug money, and grew marijuana plants out in his back yard next to his mother's favorite Azalea flowers. In short, my dad had done it all, and this was all in his teenage years.
There was a certain girl that he was involved with for a short period of time, named Shana. They would do drugs together, steal together, and went at it like rabbits day and night.
One day, she told him that she was pregnant, and was going to get an abortion. He begged her not to. The idea of her going to a clinic to terminate the life growing inside her made him sick to his stomach. To think that this hard core criminal actually cared about this baby confused me; it had confused him too.
When Shana had told him a week later that she had went ahead with the abortion, he wept and mourned for that child. It changed him, and all he knew. He broke it off with Shana, went to rehab, joined a church, and cleaned his life up for the better; all because of this unborn child.
I thought about the child that Kagome was carrying, and knew that I wanted the baby to live.
Weeks went by after the incident in the gym, and Kagome hadn't shown up to school since then. I called her home but not one answered. I tried driving by her house and knocked on the door, but no one was there. I left countless messages, telling her how sorry I was about what I had said, and how much I needed to talk to her.
Many times Sesshomaru would come into my room and make little remarks about how I was becoming soft like dad, groveling to a woman instead of the other way around. That usually started one of our numerous fist fights, usually ending with me having a bloody nose and him a brand new shiner.
On a Friday, after not hearing from Kagome for three weeks straight, I made the decision to go to her house and stay out on her driveway until she agreed to talk to me. That would show her.
As I drove into her neighborhood and spotted her house, I realized I couldn't park in her driveway because a moving truck was in the way. I felt heat flush my face as I parked on the side of the road and got out of my truck as fast as I could.
I ran up the steps to the open door, nearly plowing into one of the moving men carrying a large box. Without apologizing I walked into the house, seeing Kagome standing in the now empty kitchen. She turned as she noticed me, her eyes growing large in surprise.
"I thought we would be gone before you found out," she said. This angered me, but I tried not to show it.
"Kagome what are you doing? Why are you leaving?"
She walks past me toward the back room, as if I hadn't said anything at all.
"My mom found a job in California. We leave tonight," she calls out.
As I try to digest the word 'California', she tries to get by me, but I grab her sleeve to stop her.
"You are not going anywhere. California's on the other side of the country. What about the baby, Kagome? How will I see my child?"
This statement angered her greatly.
"Your child? A few weeks ago you wanted to have nothing to do with me, let alone have a child together. Well, all I have to say is that you don't have to worry about it now. It's all taken care of."
Her words shook me. Tremors ran through my body as my mind began to process the meaning behind her words. I grabbed her arms and made her look at me.
"What exactly do you mean, 'It's all taken care of?'"
She looked at me with mixed emotions, as if she were picking the right words to say. She swallowed hard, and then said the words that would haunt me for years.
"I had an abortion."
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The cool air hits my face as I push open the door to the restaurant. I wipe the sweat beads away from my eyes, fighting the tension headache that was marching through my forehead. It feels like a bowling ball is sitting in my jacket pocket, rather than a small envelope. I glance back inside to see the uneaten omelet sitting on my plate next to my coffee cup. I had felt too sick to even look at it.
I walk out into the sunlight and lean against the side of the restaurant. I take out the envelope and lift the letter out. It's wrinkled and folded many times from the use of my hands. I don't even know how many times I have read it. I open it, and reread the letter again, branding the words in my mind.
"Inuyasha,
I know I am the last person you would want to get a letter from, let alone see again, but I need to see you; it's important. Meet me at Linda's Diner at 6:00 pm on March 14. I'll be waiting."
Kagome
I take the envelope and slip the letter back inside. I glance at my watch and see it is already 4:30 in the afternoon; on March 14.
My head is spinning as I run to catch the city bus, going through the motions of getting on, then getting off at my apartment complex, unlocking the door, and shutting it back. I feel like a robot; no soul, just a mind that is unconsciously going through the actions of everyday life.
I throw the letter down on the coffee table, and go into the bathroom to take a look at the mirror. I yank out the rubber band holding my jet black hair, and let it fall down my back. It's amazing how bad news can make you look like you've aged ten years in less than two hours. I hardly recognized the man staring back at me.
I turn on the water and splash my face, feeling the cool sensation. 'I can't believe this is happening to me', I thought.
'I was just starting to get my life together. I just became the new band director at the high school, I have the apartment in town I've always wanted, and life was finally beginning to make sense'.
I glare at myself in the mirror, the thought of punching the glass becoming pretty tempting as the moments pass by. Instead I turn from the mirror and stomp into the kitchen, attempting to calm down before I try to make a rational decision.
'It doesn't feel like reality,' I thought. I start to remember the conversation Kagome and I had in her own kitchen before she left. She had refused to give me an address to contact her, she refused to look at me as she packed her things, and she refused to say goodbye as I watched her climb into the moving truck with her mom. Now, after six years, she sends me a letter, begging me to see her.
Should I even attempt to walk out the door, not knowing what's going to meet me behind it?
I glanced at the clock above my stove and saw that it was 5:30. I lean against the counter, trying to decide what to do. 'Maybe if Sesshomaru had given me more than a few hours to think about this, I would be more prepared', I thought.
I look over at the letter on the coffee table, and slowly walk towards it. I hesitate, but I find myself picking up the letter, along with my keys, and making my way out the door.
As I walk down the street, panic begins to set in. I'm about to see a woman who changed my life in more ways than one, and I have no idea how I am going to react. Questions begin to pop into my head: What kind of a person would she be? Will she look totally different or the same? Will I even recognize her?
To my ultimate horror, I come up on Linda's Diner for the second time today. I rub my hands against my jeans to wipe the sweat away, run my damp fingers through my tangled hair, and finally bring myself to open the door.
The restaurant is not crowded, surprisingly on a Sunday night. I look around the restaurant to see if I recognize any faces, my pulse racing. I look towards the back and see a woman sitting with her back towards the door. Her hair was black and pulled back into a loose ponytail. Before I can make it half way, she suddenly turns around and I look into her eyes; the color of ice.
Kagome stands and makes her way around the booth to stand a few feet in front of me. She looks the same, but she has matured into a very beautiful woman.
"Hello Inuyasha."
Those two little words bring back so many memories. I swallow the lump in my throat and begin to walk closer but before I can say anything, a little girl shoots out of the booth Kagome had been sitting in and grabs Kagome's hand.
"Mama!"
Kagome looks down at the little girl with a smile, and then looks back to me.
I froze; feeling like time was going in slow motion.
"Hana, why don't you go to the jukebox over there and pick out a few songs for us, okay?"
Kagome begins to take out some quarters from her change purse and gives them to the little girl. She runs towards the jukebox, her pigtails flying behind her. I watch as the girl stands on her toes to look through the song selections. I feel a touch on my arm, and turn to see Kagome staring up at me with a sad expression.
"Would you like to sit down?" she asks. My legs fill like jelly at the moment, but I manage to slide into the booth without looking like a complete idiot. Kagome slides in across from me and folds her hands together in front of her. I wait, trying to keep it together.
"I wanted to tell you so many times, Inuyasha. I have written so many letters, only to throw them away after I had written them." She closes her eyes and bites her lip. I watch as a lone tear makes it way down her cheek. She wipes it away quickly, and looks back up at me.
"The day I left Wilburn was one of the hardest days of my life. You may not believe me when I tell you this, but I never wanted to hurt you. After my mom found out I was pregnant, she was furious with me. The next day, she bought two plane tickets to California, and told me were leaving in three weeks."
I swallowed, trying to wet my dry throat but to no avail as I listened to her story.
"I wasn't expecting your reaction that day. I had thought you never wanted to see me again after you found out I was pregnant, but when you came over and started begging me to stay and have the baby, I was overwhelmed."
Kagome wiped another tear away with her hand, and glanced over in the direction of the jukebox. I followed her eyes and watched as the girl put more quarters in the machine. My world had just been turned upside down within a period of two minutes. The reality of it all hit me, and I turned back around with tears of my own, threatening to spill over.
"I had every intention of having an abortion, Inuyasha. The day we reached California my mom found the nearest abortion clinic and we rented a car to drive out there. We walked in, filled out the forms, and waited for the nurse to bring us into the waiting room. I told my mom I was scared, but she looked at me and said, 'It's going to be fine Kagome; I promise it's not that bad.' That's when my own mother told me she had two abortions before having me.
"I was horrified when I found out; knowing that I could have had brothers and sisters to play with, but…I would never know them… Around that time I heard a bizarre noise coming from one of the examination rooms…"
Kagome covered her mouth to try and keep the sobs from overcoming her. I was still in shock from everything that had happened so far, but I was able to slowly reach forward and take her hand in mine. The feel of her soft skin made my heart ache with emotion. I looked into her red eyes, and squeezed her hand gently. She took her hand away from her mouth and placed it over mine.
"It was a sucking noise, Inuyasha. A sound I will remember for as long as I live. The minute the nurse called my name, I got out of my seat and flew out the door, telling my mom I would never do that to my child. She tried to persuade me many months afterward, but I stood my ground. After Hana was born, I wanted to contact you. Please believe me when I tell you this. Your face haunted me every time I would look at Hana. It broke my heart the day she asked why she didn't have a daddy."
I swatted at the traitor tear that fell down my face. I thought of all the years I have already missed. Six years of her life was taken from me, but to my surprise, I was not angry with Kagome. I was overcome with a feeling of joy and sadness that rocked me to the core. I looked into Kagome's eyes as she took both of my hands into her own.
"Inuyasha, please forgive me for what I have done. God has shown me my wrongs, and I am trying to make them right. You are the father that she needs, Inuyasha. Please, I have asked forgiveness from God. I just need your forgiveness as well."
One tear after another fell, and silent sobs began to shake my body as I cradled my head in my hands. At that moment, Hana came up and placed her soft hand on my shoulder.
"Mister, why are you crying? Are you okay?"
I look down into her eyes; her mother's ice, blue eyes. She takes her hand and starts rubbing my back, comforting a stranger. Kagome smiles through her tears. I take Hana's small hand in mine. She smiles at me and I notice her front two teeth are missing. I can't help but smile back.
"What's your name?" Hana asks. A new wave of emotions rushes through me at her question. 'What do I say?' I thought. 'Daddy? Inuyasha? Mr. Takahashi?'
Fortunately, Kagome gets out of her seat and kneels down in front of Hana.
"Hana, this is mama's very special friend Inuyasha, and he is very excited to finally meet you."
Six years from now, I will remember the vows me and Kagome took on our wedding day, the hours of counseling we both had to go through, and the long conversations we both had with Hana, when we told her the truth about how she came to be in this world.
Then I will remember playing house with Kendra, having tea parties at three in the morning, and singing at the top of our lungs to every Disney song we knew.
God changed who I was as a man, by giving me the chance to become a father.
It all started with the letter.
I hope you guys enjoyed it. Please review and tell me what you thought about it. God bless!
GodistheLoverofmySoul