Azula screams when she feels the cold soak her skin.
She had been resting in her bed, asleep after a night of nightmares, and then she suddenly is woken with a start by ice going down her shirt. Ty Lee laughs and kisses Azula on the lips before the princess can shriek obscenities about the freezing water on and below her breasts. Now it passes her navel and she leaps to her feet.
"What is that?" Azula snarls and Ty Lee can't talk from her laughter for a moment.
"Caldera froze over."
"It. . . snowed? In Caldera?" Azula asks, her eyes flashing wide from shock.
"Yes it did. A huge blizzard came out of nowhere and Caldera froze over. Which means you need to fulfill some promises."
"It's a figure of speech. Caldera freezing over is a figure of speech," Azula snaps. She refuses to even discuss Caldera freezing over with her girlfriend. "I didn't actually mean that."
"Technically you did," Ty Lee taunts. "Oh, come on, it's not gonna be boring or anything, I swear! Why do you think a day with me would be so terrible?"
"I don't. I just think that if I said I would do something when Caldera freezes over, I likely do not want to do it."
"I made a list! Make a puzzle with me, make cinnamon fire flakes with me, see a duel with me, go to a jewelry shop with me, finally paint our room and have a picnic with me."
"We will do. . . none of those."
"Azula. What else are you gonna do?"
"Anything but those," Azula says and Ty Lee's lip begins to tremble. It's not going to work. It's not going to work. It's. . . "Okay, okay. I'll try one of those things. Seeing a duel doesn't sound half bad."
"There's one going on tonight. It's morning," Ty Lee says and Azula sighs. "But I already got us tickets! Don't worry."
"So, you presumed I would agree to your ridiculous day."
Ty Lee pretends to be in deep thought; Azula doesn't fall for it.
"I was thinking we should make a puzzle first," Ty Lee suggests and Azula wonders if it is worth fighting back. It isn't.
"Fine. Take me to your puzzle."
Ty Lee smiles wide.
Azula sits and stares at the puzzle. It is not cooperating with her, and Ty Lee is not exactly an expert. The pieces are not too complicated for the princess, but she has no desire to put this much thought into it. It is cold, wet and Azula hates this date day so far.
"Please help," Ty Lee begs, trying to fit two pieces together. She smashes them against each other before groaning and smashing her head down on the table.
"I think this is extremely boring and think that helping you would be against my interests," Azula says, still examining her nails.
Ty Lee sighs. "Okay, okay, maybe puzzle making didn't work out. But we can still make cinnamon fire flakes!"
Azula wants to object, but anything is better than this puzzle.
Azula is wrong. Making fire flakes is not better than the puzzle. It is significantly more difficult than the recipe makes it sound.
Ty Lee gazes at the oil that burnt her twice with loathing in her eyes. Azula thinks she is going to die of cinnamon inhalation.
"See, Ty Lee, there was a reason I said I would do this when Caldera froze over."
"Because you somehow made fire flakes before and knew this would happen?"
"I could predict it. I am a genius, after all."
Ty Lee rolls her eyes because there is no way Azula predicted this ahead of time. But the princess can believe what she wants to believe. Ty Lee now intends to beat these fire flakes into submission, and, thankfully, Azula seems to have the same idea on her mind.
The princess is not the best chef, seeing as she has chefs and servants, and has no reason to be doing this. Ty Lee is not the best chef, seeing as she always just thought of it as a fanciful activity and not anything important to learn.
They succeed in making the most disgusting fire flakes in the history of the Fire Nation.
"Yum," Ty Lee says through her mouthful. Her facial expression belies her pretend enthusiasm. She spits them out and looks at he burnt others.
"I need a bath," Azula says as she notices how much she feels and smells like some kind of peasant servant. She stands with one hand resting on the table. "You may join me."
Ty Lee thinks that sounds much more fun than making fire flakes.
Ty Lee should have taken her bath later, even if Azula made it so tempting.
Why? Because the princess is intentionally getting as much paint onto her girlfriend as she possibly can. She is, needless to say, not very happy about Ty Lee insisting that, after a failure by two hired painters, redo the work themselves. If you want something done right, after all.
"This," Azula says, flicking a glob of paint onto Ty Lee's forehead, "is ridiculous. I know you have a fetish for doing peasant things, but I am a princess, and you are a princess's consort, and we absolutely should not be doing this." This time it feels more like a splash.
"Stop that," Ty Lee orders.
"Make me."
Azula looks out at the carnage from the blizzard and reconsiders leaving the palace.
"This is a bad idea. It's so. . . whatever it is out there," Azula says, stepping away from the door.
"Nothing has gone right today," Ty Lee pleads. "Please, please, please let just one thing not go wrong. Jewelry shopping can never go wrong! Then we can do our picnic and go see the duel. That's it. End of day and I will never ask you to do anything like this again."
"Or until another freak blizzard hits the Fire Nation and Caldera freezes over," she says, and then mutters to herself, "I need to stop using that figure of speech."
Ty Lee smiles. "Come on. It really can't hurt you."
"I wish that were true." But Azula grabs her bag to go to the shop.
Once they arrive, Ty Lee feels her heart start to flutter with excitement. She zips through the store, occasionally gluing her eyes to a particular piece she likes. Azula peruses the selection while wishing she had better clothes for this. She is cold.
"I love all of these," Ty Lee announces.
"Good. You can have all of them, and now we can go home where it is warm," Azula says, gesturing at the shopkeeper to hurry up and accept the money from today's lackey.
Ty Lee pouts at Azula. It is not a pout Azula wants to see.
"But you promised you'd go on a picnic with me."
"This," Azula says as she walks through the abhorrent ice and snow, "is the last kind thing I am ever doing for you, or anyone."
"When have you ever done a kind thing for anyone?" Ty Lee asks. She grabs onto Azula and rubs her head against her neck. "Are you warmer?"
"No. I will be warmer when I burn this gazebo to the ground," Azula says and Ty Lee giggles.
"I am not joking," Azula growls. She sits down and finds that the ugly gazebo does keep out some of the cold wind. Cold wind in Caldera! She cannot believe that this happened in her lifetime.
Ty Lee reaches into the picnic basket she requested be made for the two of them and Azula wishes she were somewhere warm. Maybe Ember Island. There are no freak snowstorms on Ember Island. Ty Lee kisses her when she lays out the food.
"It's not really. . . warm anymore, but I did my best," Ty Lee says, frowning at her food.
"I would not call that not really warm. It is literally frozen." Azula holds up the biscuit, revealing the ice on it.
Ty Lee frowns and sinks down towards the ground. "I'm so sorry," she says, beginning to cry. Azula does not know what to do in this situation. "I'm so sorry that our day has been so awful. I really, really, really tried to make it perfect like you."
Azula sighs. She cannot help but want to do anything and everything in her power to quench Ty Lee's tears.
"It hasn't been awful, okay?" Azula offers and Ty Lee cries.
"You're lying! I know you're lying!" Ty Lee picks up a chunk of snow and throws it at the princess.
Azula barely dodges it. Her cheeks flushing, she grabs a fistful of snow and tosses it at Ty Lee in retaliation.
"There is no excuse for assaulting me with this terrible snow!" Azula snaps and Ty Lee begins to laugh through the tears that are almost frozen to her face.
She picks up two handfuls and starts running before Azula can tackle her.
The princess dashes after her, throwing both of her snowballs. Ty Lee dances around them and Azula throws herself forward. Ty Lee pushes one handful up and hits the princess with it. The cold shock makes her almost fall face first onto the ice, but she recovers.
Azula keeps running, not below burning the snow in front of Ty Lee to make it fall down, slippery in front of her. The second that tactic works and Ty Lee slips with a loud scream, Azula tackles her and begins to wrestle the snow out of her hands.
"This isn't how snowball fights work!" Ty Lee shrieks as she fights against Azula.
They both freeze on the frozen ground the minute Azula knocks the snow from Ty Lee's hand. Ty Lee frowns and executes her last stand; pushing both of her drenched, ice cold hands against Azula's exposed back.
Ty Lee laughs and rolls away. "Why are you picking that up?" she screams, jumping to her feet.
Azula pursues her again, this time with a vengeance.
Servants give the two of them hot tea as they dry themselves off in the warm palace. Ty Lee kisses her princess as they are in the midst of getting dressed. Azula grabs onto her, unable to forget the snow smashed against her still-cold back.
Azula kisses her back and they stumble towards the bed.
"Was today actually awful?" Ty Lee asks as soon as she is on top of Azula.
"Yes," Azula answers and Ty Lee lies down. "It was awful, but there is no one else I would rather have an awful day with."
Ty Lee blushes and smiles.
"The day isn't over yet!" Ty Lee remembers as Azula moves to take her shirt off. "We still have tickets to that fight! Yay!"
She jumps up, gets dressed, and absolutely kills the mood.
Then again, watching two guys punch each other half to death does sound better than finishing the paint in this room.