TITLE: A Great Expedition
AUTHOR: Allocin
SUMMARY: A grave tragedy has befallen the Black-Lupin-Potter household. No food? What?
RATING: G
CATEGORIES: Humour/Fluff
CHARACTERS: Harry, Remus, Sirius.
TIMELIME: Of Western Stars universe.
A/N: Happy Birthday, neutral! Sirius is a teensy bit OOC, but oh well. The challenge – Sirius, Remus, Harry, grocery store, pasta, socks.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter and all its related merchandise. I make no profit from this venture and mean no offence. Don't sue.
Remus was gently pulled from his nap by an insistent tugging on his sleeve. Opening his eyes, he gazed blearily about the room until he focused on the small and nervous form of the boy who had woken him.
"Harry," he greeted warmly, followed by a large yawn. As always, Harry seemed more alarmed just by being addressed. He twisted his sleeve between his fingers nervously; all his shirts were stretched out of shape like this, but neither Sirius nor Remus had the heart to break him of the habit.
"I'm sorry to wake you," the boy said quietly, causing Remus to smile indulgently at him.
"It's fine," he said, "What's the matter?" At this, Harry shifted uncomfortably, and was silent a moment too long.
"It's nothing," he murmured eventually. Remus shifted in his seat to look at Harry fully; in truth, he was starting to become concerned. Harry was, by nature, quiet and shy, but he normally told his guardians what the problem was.
"Harry, what's wrong?" Remus asked. He cursed himself when Harry backed away from the chair, eyes wide.
"N-nothing," he whispered breathlessly. Remus stretched out his hand, a placating gesture, and Harry stopped.
"Tell me," said Remus.
"I was going to make dinner," Harry said guiltily, and Remus visibly slouched with relief. He and Sirius had both told the boy not to cook for them, which would explain his guilt. "There's no food left in the cupboards." Remus quirked an eyebrow.
"None at all?" At Harry's shake of the head, Remus smiled. "I guess Padfoot has had a few midnight feasts without inviting us," he said. Harry smiled uncertainly, clearly not sure if he was off the hook yet. Stretching the kinks out of his neck, Remus levered himself to his feet and offered his hand to Harry. "We shall have to do some shopping before Sirius finds out we have no food, or he will go mad with despair," Remus teased. Harry frowned in worry, before he caught the smile on Remus' face.
"Before he finds out?" he asked. "Padfoot likes to go food shopping; he would go mad if he couldn't come." Remus laughed, leading the way into the cloakroom.
"Very true, Harry. I guess we must tell him." Then, at the bottom of the stairs, Remus raised his voice as loud as he dare with Harry next to him. "Sirius! We've run out of food!" The silence upstairs was shattered by a wail of horror, followed by a herd of elephants trampling down the stairs in the form of Sirius Black. His eyes were wide with abject horror.
"Tell me it's not true Moony!" he wailed, falling dramatically to his knees before the two of them. Harry moved forward tentatively.
"There, there," he soothed, petting Sirius' head as if the man were already in his dog form. "We're going to the shops. Would you like to come?" Sirius, always prone to sudden bursts of energy, leapt to his feet and clutched Harry to him, before springing a more forceful hug on one surprised werewolf.
"A great expedition! Let's go!" he cried, already reaching for the door.
"Sirius," Remus' severe voice sliced through the air, and Sirius turned miserably towards his friend, who looked pointedly at Sirius' feet; "Shoes?"
Why food shopping was such a delight to Harry, Remus wasn't quite sure. Maybe it was because Sirius went out of his way and over the top to be as eccentric as possible, tossing all sorts of useless items into the trolley for Harry to fish back out again. For himself, Remus didn't know if he should be amused or embarrassed at half the antics Sirius pulled, especially when he was pulled into them too. But to see the delighted little smile on Harry's face made it all worthwhile.
Which was why he didn't hex Sirius to within an inch of his life for being pushed into one of the open-top freezers with the offhand comment, "I don't suppose we'll need this now. It's out of date." Harry actually giggled.
"Come on, dear Sirius. We need to buy food before you starve to death, which you insist is true every time we run out of chocolate sauce," Remus said.
"We've run out of chocolate sauce?" Sirius gasped. Harry took him by the hand and led him along the vegetable aisle, for once uncaring that all the Muggles were staring in their direction. A very subtle spell from Remus sent them on their way, though Harry did glance back at him with a grateful look.
"We need some potatoes, and an onion," Harry said thoughtfully. Remus caught the wistful expression on Sirius' face, and knew they were thinking the same thing: Harry shouldn't have to think about these things. But as soon as the boy turned around, Sirius was back to his exaggerated self, juggling three apples and a pear and looking exceptionally smug about it. Shaking his head in exasperation, Remus pushed the trolley onwards, leaving Sirius to follow.
For all that Sirius liked to misbehave for Harry's enjoyment, the shopping spree managed to progress fairly quickly, and soon enough they were at the checkout, the young girl at which cooed at Harry and gave Sirius a wide berth. It was while loading the conveyor belt that Remus suddenly slapped his forehead.
"Always knew our Moonykins was a bit of a doozer," Sirius snickered. Remus shot him a withering look before turning to Harry.
"We've forgotten the pasta. Can you quickly get us a bag? Not too big," he said. Nodding, Harry trotted off.
"He's a bit young to be going off by himself, isn't he?" the checkout girl said, a distinct note of disapproval in her tone. Sirius, who had immediately calmed now that Harry was away, snorted disdainfully.
"Harry is a very mature eight. He'll be fine," Remus reassured her, and continued unloading the trolley. They were waiting to pay, but Harry still hadn't come back. Sirius and Remus exchanged worried glances, before the former left without a word to look for him.
"Harry?" he called, glancing down the aisles as he passed them. "There you are … what happened?" Harry stood guiltily in the middle of the pasta section. Hundreds of multicoloured pasta shells floated in midair around him.
"The bag split when I picked it up," Harry explained nervously. Sirius hastily put up a Notice-Me-Not charm on the area to keep away Muggles, and helped Harry gather the pasta shells, before banishing them to a remote part of the shop. Looking at the split bag, he noticed it was very big, and from the top shelf. Smiling crookedly, he looked down at Harry.
"Did you levitate this down?" he asked. Harry nodded miserably, but Sirius chuckled.
"Moony would do his nut," he said cheerfully, getting a second bag down. Pasta cradled in one arm, he offered his hand to Harry. "Shall we?" Smiling weakly, Harry took the hand and they made their way to the checkout, where Remus was looking pale with worry.
"There you are! What took you so long?" he asked. Sirius smirked.
"I had to show Harry something," he said. Remus' worry quickly transformed to suspicion as he absentmindedly handed over payment to the bewildered checkout girl.
"Oh yes? And what was that?" For his part, Harry looked just as confused as the checkout girl.
"Um, well, it's a secret," Sirius struggled, caught out. Shaking his head, Remus thanked the checkout girl, and pushed the trolley towards the exit.
"You needn't worry about cooking dinner when we get home, Harry," he said, only to be greeted with silence. There was no one behind him. A quick search showed that Harry and Sirius were nowhere in sight. Frowning, Remus re-entered the supermarket, senses alert for any sign of the pair.
Just as he was starting to move from annoyance to mild panic, something soft and round hit him on the back of his head. Whirling around, he got one in the face, and another two in the chest. Sirius' sinister chuckle warned him of another two objects flying at him, and he ducked beneath them. Scattered on the floor around him were socks, balled up and perfect for throwing. An evil smile of his own spreading across his face, Remus gathered them up in his arms, listened intently for the sound of hushed breaths, and lobbed them all at Sirius' hidden body. A whispered spell guided them on their way, and he was rewarded by a very indignant, "Hey, no fair!"
"It is time to leave, children," Remus enunciated clearly. He had noticed the security guard looking suspiciously in their direction. Sirius slid dejectedly from his hiding place to the trolley, Harry following docilely behind him. "Honestly, Padfoot. If only you were as well behaved as Harry."
"Well someone has to annoy you. I consider it an honourable goal in life to get up your nose," Sirius retorted. Harry made a face, but was still smiling. Remus, in turn, was smiling; in fact, he could have hugged Sirius then for being the perfect idiot to make Harry happy. Instead, he playfully shoved Sirius in the shoulder.
"You're a dolt," he said cheerfully. Before Sirius could answer, his stomach rumbled loudly.
"What's for dinner?" he said instead. Harry perked up.
"I was going to make macaroni and cheese," he said, looking unsurely up at Remus. The werewolf nodded.
"I'll do that then." Then, each holding as many of the heavy plastic bags that they could, they found a secluded spot by the dumpsters away from prying eyes, and Disapparated.