A/N: Well, guys, this is my first FF! I hope you enjoy, it's just some drabble and stuff. I had a cover picture that I drew myself, but couldn't upload it, so I'll see if I can later. K+ just to be safe. This takes place after Lily/Marauders are out of Hogwarts but before they're expecting Harry. R&R!
Disclaimer: This world and characters all belong to J.K. Rowling
Lily clutched her mug of hot chamomile tea and stared out the window, just like every morning. She would stand there by the kitchen sink, thinking, and really it had nothing at all to do with the tea but with the worrying about James, and how every day she couldn't relax until she heard the door open and close quietly behind him at 4:00 in the evening.
She worried about all four of her boys. When was the last time she had seen true, carefree laughter on their faces? They all kept hopeful smiles on their faces, that never really reached their tired eyes. And when they talked, it was always quiet, soft. They told themselves, "It'll all get better." But would it really? she wondered. She thought about Sirius, who was really just a boy. All of them just boys! And Remus, Lily thought furiously, the unfairness! And little Peter, who really couldn't do much at all.
Sometimes, Lily thought about Marlene, about all the friends she'd lost, but especially Marlene. Marlene, the one who was always joking, laughing, the one who went to bars and got drunk, Lily having to go fetch her stumbling, giggling self home at 1:00 am. Marlene who would give up her life for any of her friends in a heartbeat. Sometimes, Lily wondered if it was better to have nobody left to worry about than to be worrying about someone every minute.
On some days, Lily would see a yellow butterfly flutter past or hear the sound of laughing Muggle children outside, and some long forgotten memory of her childhood would come back, bringing with it nostalgia and bittersweet longing. She would think of chasing yellow butterflies with Petunia, and sitting on the street blowing bubbles and drawing chalk pictures and taking turns on their red scooter. And she would ask herself if it was worth giving up all she knew and loved for another world that was in the middle of destruction and war. No, she would think fiercely to herself, we will keep fighting until we win or we die. Because the truth was, she loved this. She loved a school that was always changing, holding secrets from centuries ago. She loved the wands and spells, of mystery in every object.
Lily would be standing there, a part of her always watching out, wand always in pocket, until she heard James softly come in through the front door. She felt him circle his arms around her waist and tug her flame of red hair gently. "Hey," he'd say softly, quietly. And just like every day, by the time she turned around and whispered "Hey," back into his scarred chest, she had set her mug down on the counter, and the undrunk chamomile tea had long gone cold. And she would let James drown out all her sorrows.