The Rules of Spontaneous Adoption
Synopsis: Mary and John are the hunting couple of the year, complete with kick ass moves and the complementary flannel. The only thing they are missing are kids due to Mary's barrenness. Of course, they can't do anything like normal people and go through the formal adoption process, no, they have to find two little monsters to call their own.
A/N: Only warning is a brief allusion to underage sexual interactions, none actually happen though, just the painful thought of the situation. Also, I apologize in advance for any language errors, I have no beta, English is my first language and yet I still struggle to have a firm grasp on it.
Chapter 1: Two Hunters, a Yeti and a Succubus Walk Into a Bar...
"You're a yeti?" John asked, eyes narrowed in disbelief.
Sam gave a small nod of his head.
"Yes, a yeti, actually of the Appalachian range, you get a whole 'nother kind of yeti on other mountain ranges, my baba told me that," Sam explained quite seriously.
The little boy, monster, thing, was sitting quietly, naked and curled into a ball. He was strangely human looking, only a small amount of hair scattered about on his body.
"You don't have a lot of hair," John said quietly.
The boy shook his head. There was a beat of silence.
"Are you going to kill me now?" The boy asked, voice level and those big hazel eyes peering at him with curiosity.
John felt his heart clench. It looked just like a kid, just like a little boy who was naked and scared and not in any way dangerous.
"Uh, no kid, no," John said.
The boy looked confused.
"What are you going to do?" The little monster, yeti, kid, thing, and God, John needed a better name then the one he had, asked.
That was a very good question, what was he going to do? John didn't have an answer and as he tried to quickly come up with one whilst also looking at the patheticness which was the yeti child he knew that he was going to make a decision which his wife wasn't going to like.
John shucked off his jacket and carefully set it around the boy.
"How old are you kid?" John asked.
The boy blinked, "49, a yuubpa."
"Forty-nine," John said, nodding his head, "Alright, that's cool, uh, how long do you guys live anyways?"
The hunting world knew very little of the yeti, they weren't violent creatures as far as hunters knew and some even claimed they didn't exist. This particular hunt wasn't even about yeti, a group of vampires had been devastating a small town at the base of the Teton's in Wyoming. For some reason a small group of yeti had also been caught up in it. It was three adults and this one child. The adults were dead, killed by the vampires and having taken out nearly the entire nest with them. The adult yeti were tall creatures, extremely tall and they had taken a lot of damage before going down. Out of a nest of forty vampires three were left over and they were slightly maimed. John had easily cleaned them up. Those yeti had sacrificed their lives and tt had all been for this child.
"Till the old oak passes ten lives," the boy explained.
As if that made any friggin' sense.
"Alright, that's cool, how about I get you into something warm, get you something to eat?" John offered, moving to pick the boy up.
The child yeti let him. Strangely enough, despite how cold it was outside, the boy was like a little heater. John stepped out of the room and into the next one. There was utter carnage spread around, the vampires ripped apart by limb. God, the yeti were terrifying creatures. The boy let out a small whimper and John looked in the direction the boy's eyes were fastened. The yeti were there, bodies covered in injuries. John realized that those yeti there were probably the child's parents and family. The child yeti hid its face in his shoulder.
Even John felt his stomach tumble a little at the sight. Once outside, John approached the mini-van he was driving. The Impala stayed with Mary, it was her baby after all. And he wondered exactly what he was supposed to tell Mary when he brought home a baby yeti.
Mary meanwhile was south of John in Jackson hunting a shifter. Or something like that. Right now she was in a bar, watching a smart mouthed fifteen year old who could maybe pass as eighteen hustle his way through a pool game. No one said anything when the kid sat at the bar or when he began hitting up an older woman.
Mary watched as the boy leaned up against the woman, using the woman's short height and his own 5"10 to appear like he was in control. Surprisingly, he really was, Mary didn't often see little boys or little girls approach someone with such confidence and it definitely was only in the pursuit of money. Something dark and angry wound its way through her chest and she found herself setting her whiskey down and strolling over to the two just as the boy began putting his hands in places that would make his mommy very, very disappointed in him.
Mary smiled and cut him a look, her blonde curled hair being shook back to emphasize her figure. The boy caught her look and immediately a shit eating grin came onto his face and his green eyes seemed to sparkle. Mary didn't let the frown that was on her face show, instead smiling even more.
"Oh honey, what are you doing here wasting your time?" Mary said, voice dipping seductively.
Just like that the boy was next to her.
"Not at all ma'am, just waiting for the right moment," his eyes slid up and down her body and Mary resisted the urge to punch the little punk in the throat. She was going to do one better though.
"How 'bout we get outta here?" Mary suggested.
"Don't mind if I do," the boy said, gesturing to the door.
They stepped out into the snow covered streets of Jackson and Mary began towards the Impala, intentionally knowing that it was leading up to an alley. The boy followed. Mary whipped around towards him and pushed him into the alley and up against a wall.
The boy was frightened and Mary was disturbed by the scared look on the adolescent's face as he stared up at her in trepidation.
"Please don't hurt me," he begged.
"Your mama know what you're doing little boy?" Mary asked, blue eyes piercing into green.
The boy's eyes hardened.
"I don't have a mom and don't pretend to be mine. I ain't a little boy," the words were ground out.
"Unfortunately for you kid, I don't believe in illegal underage sex and I'm gonna take you home or to the police station, which one that is will be your choice," Mary explained in a voice which spoke to violence.
The kid responded in strange way, he spat, right at Mary's mouth. Mary drew back slightly in disgust, but enough of her time as a hunter made sure that she didn't drop her hold. The boy however still looked pleased with himself. Mary didn't know why until a few seconds later, an intense sense of euphoria washed over her that was quickly followed by a sensation Mary generally only enjoyed when she was spending personal time with her husband.
Confusion came and quickly passed. A succubus, possibly, or something in that area. She had a short amount of time before she passed out. Luckily she was more than capable of withstanding the current effects of the supernatural toxin.
"What are you? A popobawa, an alp, a tokolosh?" Mary asked.
The thing looked scared now, unsure as to why its aphrodisiac wasn't working. A knife was also now pressing against its throat.
"You better answer me now 'cause I don't have much patience," Mary grit out.
"Succubus," the boy breathed out, terror now living on his face.
"I haven't hurt anyone, not at all, they want it, it helps me live, I-I wouldn't hurt-"
He was cut off by Mary pressing the knife a little closer and blood began to ooze from his neck.
"Please, I-I don't," the monster whimpered.
Mary relaxed slightly, struck by the look in the boy's eyes. It looked truly afraid and it reminded her too much of a child. The last case had been nasty, they'd lost a whole family which had included kids. Mary's own barrenness made it all the harder.
"Fine, but I'm cuffing you and throwing you in the back of my trunk until I decide on whether or not I'm going to kill you," Mary assured.
The thing nodded back. Mary twisted its arm up and frog marched him towards the Impala, with a quick judgement she hit him across the head with a gun and caught him as he crumpled to the ground. Opening the trunk, she quickly handcuffed him and threw him in. Climbing into the Impala she felt the aphrodisiac begin to go from being a pleasant experience to the uncomfortable one which indicated that she was going to pass out soon.
Wanting to move the Impala she started it up and drove maybe a couple miles before she found herself needing to pull over. As her eyes flickered shut under the heavy weight of the supernatural chemical, she wondered what she was going to do with the kid monster in the back of her trunk, also there was that tiny little problem of what she was going to tell her husband.
Sam was strangely both enjoyable company and unnerving. The child yeti was extraordinarily naive yet also quiet and well mannered, mature beyond his years, sort of.
"You've never had ice cream?" John asked incredulously.
The boy nodded.
"Alright, well, why don't we take you to get some ice cream, and a burger," John offered.
They had climbed into the 1984 Renault Espace and Sam had put on one of John's t-shirts. They were now driving down 191 headed for Jackson. John was worried, very, very worried about what Mary was going to say. For now though, he was going to ignore that little problem and focus on feeding his little yeti.
"Yemem," the boy replied.
He kept using strange words that John didn't know.
"Uh, yeah, sure," John replied.
Several minutes passed in silence.
"My baba and anne and ata, they're gone," the boy said.
John looked over at the boy and saw the anguish on his face. He gave a nod.
"Yeah, they're gone," John responded.
Silence settled once again and it didn't lift. When they had been driving for an hour, John noticed that the little yeti had curled up and was fast asleep. It made John smile. Mary and him had discussed children quite a bit when they had first married, back when John didn't know anything about hunting. They had tried for a year until the doctors informed them that Mary was barren. She had been devastated, John had spent nearly another year just trying to bring happiness back to his wife's face. Then there had been their run in with a spirit, John had been shocked, but more than that he had seen happiness and purpose on his wife's face for the first time in a long time when they'd put the sonuvabitch down.
That had been five years ago. Now they were the power hunting couple, one of the few not driven by tragedy. And boy could they hunt. John couldn't match his wife, but he was a close second. And now, well now John was pretty sure he was going to get his ass kicked by his wife, because as cute as yeti babies were, they were still monsters.
After several more hours, John pulled into a burger joint. He considered waking the kid but after looking at the white marine's t-shirt he had kept from his time serving in Viet Nam, he decided against it. He ran in, ordered to go, and ran back to the car to check and make sure the boy was still there. He was, sitting up and peering out the window with solemn interest.
John gave a wave and the boy waved back after a moment of confusion. John headed back in and paid for the burgers. When he got back in the car he handed the boy a burger and opened a map to see how much farther they had to go.
"By the way, do you happen to have a name?" John asked.
"Samlimwen-zerpothkolowin," the boy said seriously followed by a series of strange cute little growling noises that must have been the rest of the name.
John blinked, "uh, Sam, whatchamakalit? That's uh, a good name," John said, glancing over at the kid, "can I call you Sam though?"
The little yeti gave a nod and opened the hamburger package. John watched out of the corner of his eye as the boy sniffed the hamburger before frowning at it.
"I do not eat flesh," Sam said sternly.
John looked up at the statement and was met with the very serious gaze of the yeti. John blinked, trying to understand what the boy had said.
"Flesh?" John asked.
The boy held the burger up with a look of distaste and stared pointedly at John. Yeti definitely weren't evil monsters, at least in the human eating department. John let out a small laugh.
"Alright kid, we'll get you something without flesh," John promised.
They returned to the restaurant and picked up a salad. John smiled as they were once again headed down the highway, Sam happily munching on his greens.
Tell me what y'all think, if you want more. I have the next two chapters written out and an idea as to what the rest of the story is going to be like. I do love alternate universes (AUs).