On that sad rainy evening.
It was a goodbye, no more hellos, no more stops to see him smile, just a goodbye.
I was back to admiring him from afar. But it's alright, because that's how it started anyways...
It was back in high school when I first met him... he always looked so cool...but I couldn't do anything but admire him from afar...
I was in 1st year while he was in was also really smart... much different than me... he was also the most popular while I was really shy... maybe, that's why I feel that our worlds are so far apart.
"Hey Claire!" Oh, that was my friend Ann. She's a happy and cheerful girl… pretty much popular too… "Uhmm, hey Ann!"
"Hey Clair,are you still stalking your crush?" She asked me teasingly. "W-what? Of course not!" I told her, trying to hide my blush away. "Oh Claire! That won't do. You have to talk to him sooner or later!" Ann said. " But… I Can't… I'm too shy and…" That's right…
He was always with a lot of people, I wanted to talk to him. But I never had the courage.
So one day... i decided to change. I would become like , smart and popular. I wouldn't be shy anymore...
I tried it, I really did. But people told me I looked weird. Like it doesn't fit me at all. But I just ignored them... they never really knew me so why are they telling me these things? I wanted to do it because i want to change... I want to change, so he'll at least look at me….
Then, one day ... he finally noticed me...
My friend, Ann, introduced me to him. I was so shocked; I didn't even look at him. That's not what I wanted to happen! If only I introduced myself properly, will he still be here?
I was so surprised at what she did that i just ran without even acknowledging him...he just stood there with a puzzled expression on his face.
He thinks I'm weird, that's the only thing that came to my mind…
Tomorrow! Tomorrow, i would apologize to him
It was still the flag ceremony. My heart was thumping; I don't think I can do it, without making a fool of myself. So i waited all day for a chance to talk to cause we don't have the same class schedules i couldn't have spare time to talk to him... So i waited 'till the end of classes...It was the end of the day. He wasn't in his classroom; I tried to look for him. But my friends told me to go home. I want to stay. I want to, why can't they listen to me for once?
So I told them that they should go without me. To my surprise they just nodded and left. So i used that time to look for him... i hope he didn't go far...
I searched and searched. Then I saw him, he was at the library. But… he was with someone, with her.
They were holding hands... then i saw his smile. He never smiled that way whenever i see him at school... It was the kind of smile someone gives to the one they admire... a smile so sweet it can melt any girls heart...It pained me to see them, seeing him smile... pains me more. I can't seem to move. I was frozen.
Then... suddenly it hit me. This must be his girlfriend... the one the girls always talk about. I thought they were just rumors but...now , seeing it for real only hurts me more...
I walked out, I was just a silly girl trying to be a romance heroine. It doesn't always work out. A boy doesn't automatically likes you, just because you always look at him. It just doesn't work that way. I just walked away from the library a quietly as i could...then...when i was far enough... i did something that I've never done in years... I cried...
It was a shock for me, I never cried. Never. Crying is a weakness, but I can't stop.
It started to rain... great... something to match my mood. I wanted to run away...run away as far as possible from him...my first love...ended so soon...
But it's alright, that's how we learn right? I should be more aware of imaginary love. And I think that's what I had
I decided to accept the doesn't really matter anyway... a few years have passed...he had already graduated by now since i would next year...but i still regret those times when i could have told him ... now the time has been lost... But, if were destined to meet again, we would right? That's fate, if we were really meant for each other we'll meet again. I wonder what I will say if we ever meet again...?
THE END