A/N: Yay for my first bleach fic. Boo for not writing one sooner. If you like it, please comment!

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, there would be no such thing as Fullbring and Urahara would be shirtless most of the times :D

Sadly, I don't own it.

"Howl, Zabimaru!"

And the sword howled, whipping up a mini-sandstorm across the bleak desert landscape. The invisible sun's light gleamed across its many blade segments.

"Yaaah!" Renji's roar fueled his swing, and he directed it at the man standing in front of him.

"No, Abarai-san, too slow."

The dust settled down, revealing a nonplussed Urahara Kisuke. He had easily side stepped the first swing, and was tapping Renji's extended blade with his cane. "You gave me too much time to figure out its trajectory. That won't do."

He hadn't even drawn his sword - the idea pissed Renji off.

"Damnit, Urahara, unsheathe your sword!" he yelled as he retracted his own.

"I don't like waving knives at little moneys for fun, Abarai-san. It's barbaric and rude," he said, wriggling his finger at him.

"You promised me a lesson Urahara, now how are you going to teach me anything without a sword?" Renji swiped his sword at him at that instant, attempting to nick him into submission.

Urahara tilted up his hat, raising a skeptical eyebrow at the sword's blade, as it swiped just a hair's breadth from his chest. "No, Freeloader- san, I didn't promise to teach you," he said simply.

Boy, Urahara knew how to salt his wounds.

"I have a name damnit! And I paid for all my expenses! With your stupid interest!" Renji's eyebrow twitched as he remembered that last fact.

The whole Aizen-almost-taking-over-the-world-episode didn't seem to dampen Urahara's business sense. As soon as the clean-up team finished their work, Urahara had sent them a bill, detailing the various 'services' he had provided for the shinigami, along with their 'market prices'. Renji's jaw had dropped at his own tab, and by the look on Byakuya's face, Urahara probably had robbed him too.

"Sir…ah…uh, how much was the total bill?" Renji had asked, in spite of himself. Please don't kill me, please don't kill me…

Byakuya looked up to stare at him, his features impassive, but his eyes ablaze with fury. Renji could swear Byakuya had developed killer laser eye beams.

"The fact that the head captain did not chop off his head for starting this mess in the first place should be payment enough," he muttered, and busied himself in paperwork again.

"Freakin' billions!" screamed Rukia. She had offered a more straight-forward answer than her brother. "That bastard is a pig rolling in money! And he sits up there with his stupid hat and fan and sipping tea… Ichigo says that he says it's emotional compensation for kicking him out of soul society. My ARSE!"

Who else except Urahara could reap benefits from a disaster? Said swindler was looking at the fake sky, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Ah yes, you did pay your dues." Renji waited for Urahara to cook up his next excuse. "Well, Abarai-san, you asked if I could 'overlook' your training, not fight you. And I say your shikai transformation isn't fast enough."

Damnit, I did say that. Dealing with him was like reasoning with a 4-year old, albeit a very powerful, cunning 4-year old. "Okay then," said Renji, massaging his temples, deciding to play it his way. "Can you please fight against me, Urahara-san?"

"Ahahaha, you really expect this old man to live against your blows?"he scratched his chin."Besides, I'm not so good at sword fighting actually, I'm better at kido, and my knee, ooh, how is it any good with you kids kicking me in the shins everyday? And my eyesight, don't even get me started on that-"

Renji's sword whipped though the air, aiming to slice Urahara's head off. It was stopped by his reluctant opponent's cane. When did he even move his arm?

"And Kurosaki-san says I need glasses. Imagine!" he was smiling broadly, but his eyes weren't. They were cold as steel. "You should never stop when your opponent stops you."

"Huh?"Renji was confused, but the meaning of his words hit home when he felt himself thrown backwards as Urahara's cane swept out its counterattack. Renji was filled with a macabre sense of happiness as he hit the rock behind him, his back cracking.

This man was awfully strong. He could probably kill Renji with a wave of his hand while sipping his stupid tea. But no matter how many cups of tea he drank, or how much he giggled behind his fan, this man was dangerous. So, he was the right man.

"Talking about glasses, Ishida-san's father says I need to pay more attention to my diabetes. My kidneys could fail anytime," he said cheerfully, as e walked over to Renji. "So you see Abarai-kun," he held the tip of his cane against his chest, and Renji could swear it was a sword, "why you shouldn't fight against me?" his voice was pure of killer intent.

Killer intent, killer intent…you need to have a want to kill, not just fight, you need to want to win. He recalled Ichigo's words when he asked him for advice on asking Urahara to train him. "He likes serious students." Well, damn, how much more serious could a guy get? He quickly regained control over his body, ignoring his crying muscles and tried to slide his legs to trip Urahara. Any trick to show him I want to kill him.

He almost did. "Oh my," Urahara stumbled and regained his posture- and that was enough for Renji to get up, sword ready up front. Only Urahara was hovering a foot above Renji's head. "Now come on," Urahara said, crouching down to pat his red, spiky hair. "All teaching isn't done by swords."

"You're just eating up time!" growled Renji. And time was something Renji had very less of. There were days he hadn't slept; days he hadn't eaten, hadn't combed his hair, hadn't taken a bath…he suddenly wondered if Urahara knew he hadn't changed his underwear in a week. Urahara was smirking down at him, as though he knew.

"Stop that!" Renji swung his body upwards. I'm gonna kick him in the nuts!

Urahara grabbed his foot, and now Renji was hanging upside down on one leg. "Smart move. Yep, better than waving your sword around. But-"

"Shut up!"Renji lashed out his sword, intending to embed its many thorn-like picks into Urahara's face. Oh he is gonna get it for playing around…

"Nope, don't think so." Urahara had shunpo'd a few feet to the left, and Renji was left hanging in the air for a nanosecond before gravity remembered its work.

"But that was better. Now knock off my hat," said, as Renji shook off a faceful of sand.

"What, is that like a Urahara trademark? Knock off my hat, then get ready to battle?" scoffed Renji.

"Ah, Abarai-kun, but it is hard to knock off my hat. Even Aizen couldn't get it off. Only Yoruichi could, but then we don't fight, rather the activity requires you to strip-"

"Then watch me behead you!" Renji yelled as he slashed trough the air. Urahara jumped back, and back as Renji slashed again, and again, scattering dust everywhere.

"This isn't getting you anywhere, you know," Urahara called out.

"That's what you think," retorted Renji as his blade stretched up out high. Before Urahara could reply, a pile of rocks fell on him. Renji had driven back him to some big boulders, and had swept down some of the stones at the top with his last swing.

"Ah, excellent." said a voice behind Renji. Renji jumped up just in time, and watched as Urahara's kido turn the stones below him to dust. Maybe now- he thought, as he immediately leaped back down into the dusty field. Approximating Urahara's position, he swung his extended sword around. He grinned as he felt one of his sword's pick anchor against Urahara's cane. He retracted his sword quickly, running with it, letting it guide him to Urahara.

"Bakudo number 4, Hainawa!" electric yellow ropes bound around his target, and just to be safe, Renji aimed a flying kick where Urahara's nose should be. A crunching noise confirmed that he hit his target.

Suddenly he was flying in another direction-Urahara grabbed his leg and swung him around. As the dust settled, Renji looked up from the ground, noticing Urahara also a few feet away from him. He was on the ground, cloak-less, hat-less, one hand fumbling around for his cane while he tried to stop the blood gushing out of his nose with the other. Renji laughed at the sorry spectacle.

Hahaha, what a loser, that was easy…no wait, why am I letting a loser like him train me?

"I knocked off your hat," said Renji, dusting himself as he got up. "There, it wasn't so difficult. Now I'm having second thoughts about fighting you."

"Ahahaha, come now, Abarai-kun," said Urahara starching the back of his head. "The Bakudo had no effect on me, and I actually dodged your sword. The kick just caught me off. Say 1 out of 3?" he looked like a kid, without his hat casting ominous shadows over his face.

"Meh, whatever, I want a refund," said Renji haughtily. Maybe Urahara isn't all that. He looked at him again, at his tired haggard eyes, messy bed-head hair and his unshaven stubble. This was the infamous captain of the 12th division? Aizen's mental equal? Maybe it's time to stop listening to stories and start looking at facts…

Thud.

Renji fell face down into the dirt again.

"Hahahahahaha tripped you!"laughed Urahara from behind him.

"Urgh!" growled Renji, launching a handful of stones at Urahara."How old are you? I can't believe you were a captain!"He got up, dusting his robes for the umpteenth time. "Were their standards so low or were they out of men? You're such an idiot- no wonder you're not back-"

Renji was somehow knocked off his feet and thrown back onto a boulder, his eyes shut close due to the impact.

"You hurt my feelings, Abarai," he heard Urahara say coldly. His mood changes at the tip of a hat!

"Nake, Benihime!"

Renji jumped up just in time, to watch a boulder get blown to bits, again. Deciding to get things over with, he shouted out what he'd been meaning to shout since he first stepped into the training field.

"Bankai, Hiho Zabimaru!"

Renji relished at the sight of his Bankai. No matter how complicated, how unmanageable it looked, he still loved the sense of control he had as the bony snake skeleton curled up around to protect him. "Hikotsu Taiho!" he yelled, and the skeleton spat a red blast down at Urahara. Red was met by red, as Urahara promptly called out his Blood mist shield, and now it was Urahara's turn to be knocked backwards.

Suddenly there was a blast, and the whole area was covered in thick, red smoke.

"Oh great, there goes my defense," thought Renji. Urahara had activated a smoke bomb the moment Renji hit his shield. "Bakudo 26: Kyokko!"Now Renji's reiatsu was cloaked, he could look for Urahara without getting caught from behind. He quietly separated his Bankai segments, broadening his range of attack, and descended onto the field. The cloud was still thick, but where…? Oh wait, he could hide his reiatsu as well, he kicked himself mentally. Now they were two blind men playing hide-and-seek. Great. Well, I'll just have to catch him again.

"Bakudo 62: Hyapporanken!" shards of white reiatsu shot out into all directions, now Renji just had to see…

"Bad move, you just gave away your position," Renji almost jumped up at the sudden flare of reiatsu, right behind him.

"Higa Zekko!"yelled Renji, and luckily his trap worked, and Urahara had to defend himself again as one of Renji's Bankai segments crashed into his shield, and the other segments fired shards of energy at his exposed sides. Renji shunpo'd himself out of the mess, and hung in the sweltering heat for his Bankai to reform again.

"Oi. Urahara, why is so hot here? And how come the sun's always shining?" he called out.

"Because I'm Mr. Brightside," said Urahara, suddenly flying out of his snake's hollow skeleton.

"What? Ah what, you're inside my Bankai?" This Renji had never seen before – Urahara had simply taken refuge inside one of the segments, tagged along as the segments pulled back together, and slid out just before the bones joined.

"Yes actually, and it's quite effective, the only way you'd get your opponent if you destroyed your own Bankai."

"Or I could trap them in there forever," shrugged Renji. "Anyways, hiding is for losers-"

"Again you hurt me, Abarai-san," Urahara slashed at Renji, who was suddenly bound in a thick, red net. Renji didn't even bother to struggle; he could actually feel the net sapping the energy out of him…

"You lose. You're caught, low on energy, you cannot move your sword, and you are still not appreciating the value of tactics," stated Urahara.

"Well, if I was stronger, I wouldn't need to hide!"

"You are also implying that since I'm not in the Gotei, I'm not strong enough," said Urahara. He suddenly pushed Renji, and down he plummeted, like a rock.

"Now, do you think that is the case, Abarai-san?"

Renji opened his eyes to be greeted by Benihime, gleaming blood red, sword tip right on his beating heart. "Freeloader-san, just because I'm easy-going and lenient all the time doesn't mean you insult me. His grey eyes glinted with the red from Benihime, reminding Renji of blood on steel. "If I were still a captain, you would not even dare to get close to me. Just because I'm not in the Gotei 13 doesn't mean I don't have any skill left."

Renji gulped. He mentally threw away all misgivings he had on Urahara's ability. If his instincts were of any use, he sensed that Urahara was his man.

"I've been fighting way before your beloved captain Kuchiki even saw a sword, and definitely before you were even thought of. So mind your language, Abarai." Renji felt the sword relax a bit, but he still didn't dare move. "Knowing when to hide is important. You hide, to attack again. One silent strike out of the blue is deadlier than a thousand, noisy assaults from all directions."

Still, Renji had to voice his doubt. "Why aren't you in Seireitei then? There are vacancies for captains…" Urahara crooked his neck, still staring into Renji's eyes, as though trying to read his thoughts.

"Despite my skills, I'm not welcome in Seireitei," he said simply, lowering his sword. What? In spite of his madness, Urahara would be a valuable asset. Was Yamamoto-sama being stubborn as usual or…? "There are some who think I'm still dangerous, that my ideas cause more harm than good. I myself agree on that."

"That Mayuri has more dangerous ideas than you; he sets the barracks on fire every week!"

"And if I was there, there would be no barracks to set fire to. No, I'm better off here, as a liaison to the world of the living. I'm good at this. I can tinker away at my little inventions all day, without regulations and paperwork or officials nosing into my affairs. I'm at peace here, raising you kids." He stepped back to raise his sword, running a loving hand across Benihime.

"Besides, I'm dead to soul society," he laughed ruefully. "What do I go back to? My peers are gone. I created the Research section and I handed it over to Mayuri who'll take care of it. I've achieved all the training I need for this lifetime, and I'm though slashing through hollows like they're piñatas." He didn't look sorrowful; he was just talking as though he was stating the date.

"And my revenge against Aizen is done," he added. "Although I cannot return the Vizards to their normal form, they're living with it, even accepting it. That's all I care about. I don't have a reason to fight, except to fight," he smiled evilly, and Renji wondered if bloodlust was a criteria required to be a captain.

"Why do you fight, Abarai Renji?" asked Urahara suddenly. He pointed his sword at him again, as though Renji's life depended on his answer.

"I…fight…" and Renji fell at a loss for words.

First, to protect himself in that sooty town that he called his birthplace…then to protect the other strays that huddled together for some stability.

Third, to protect his last remaining star. And when the star shone too bright and floated off the earth, he wanted strength to follow it.

And finally, when he reached the heavens, he wanted to blind the universe with his light, to validate his existence, to know his own worth…to let everyone know his true worth.

So many reasons, but still one course of action, one path to victory. If a stray like him made it this far…

After all, isn't Sirius called the Dog Star?

"I want to defeat Byakuya," said Renji firmly. Urahara noticed the change that came over him. He didn't have to look in Renji's eyes to notice, it was practically emanating from him. It was a desire so potent - it was the stuff that dreams were made of and also that led to the road to failure.

"You want to fight Byakuya," said Urahara.

"I want to defeat Byakuya," corrected Renji.

"So you're fighting to beat Byakuya?" asked Urahara, scratching his neck as though he misunderstood.

"Am I speaking another language? Or you want me to Morse code it into your brain? As I said, I want to defeat Byakuya." Not beat, not crush, not even "win against". Defeat is defeat, utter and absolute, no returning back for a rematch. At least that was Renji's definition. He wondered if Urahara understood.

He wanted Byakuya to appreciate the fact that Abarai Renji was a warrior worthy enough to take his life. Though he respected Byakuya immensely, and would never even dream of killing him, Renji just needed this validation from him.

"You're fighting for poetic justice," declared Urahara, after a second of thought.

"What? What does that even mean?" Renji struck his sword on the ground, annoyed. "Dude, you make no sense."

"You know, all true soldiers are poets at heart. They live in a weirdly idealistic world-"

"My head is not in the clouds, Urahara-san, you know that," retorted Renji.

"Ah, but your ideals aren't the same as a normal person's. A normal person would like to control fate, to make things easier. Your ideal world however is one where you respect yourself by fighting against fate. You develop love for yourself and for others by struggling against the tide, because you believe reward is sweeter when paid by tears, sweat and blood."

Renji was momentarily stunned by this speech. "And why shouldn't you work for what you want?" he asked.

"Work in your case, is entirely different to my idea of work. You're still stuck in your romanticism. A glorious victory is the only kind of victory you'll ever want to achieve. Or at worst, a glorious end." Renji still didn't understand where this sermon was going.

"That's why you find my current condition so distasteful. It's actually not as bad as you think. I've worked, and I've won. The end. Fighting Byakuya, however, is your way of amending yourself, for your own peace of mind. You don't have to do this, Renji-kun," said Urahara. His tone was softer, as though teaching a kid why the square puzzle block won't go though the triangular hole. "You are the lieutenant of a distinguished division. You achieved Bankai at this young age. You have held up against hollows that ordinary shinigami have only heard of. You are also, Byakuya's most trusted man. Which is a very rare feat to achieve, I never thought that brat would get along with anyone," said Urahara, in a wondering tone.

"You make it sound as though we go eat ice cream together. I'm scared stiff of his shadow honestly."

"Hey, you go with him to flower arranging and tea ceremony classes. If that's not male bonding I don't know what is," smirked Urahara.

"He commands me to come along! Literally!" he exclaimed." And how do you know about those anyway?"

"I just know," he said mysteriously. "Imagine my surprise when I found out that he got married. With all his childish mood swings and bullheadedness, who'd take him? So outside his family, you're the only man he could trust. The last thing he'd do is abandon you."

"You make him sound like a kid," Renji was grinning despite himself. Byakuya would never abandon him! "He's stiffer than Hitsugaya and Yamamoto at a funeral," continued Renji.

"Then you don't know half of anything," laughed Urahara. "Ask Yoruichi." Urahara's eyes glinted with the joys of days past. He sighed.

"Peace, for yourself, by defeating the person you admire the most. Not beat, not crush, not even "win against", but defeat," he smiled as Renji stared. "Whereas a normal person would just be content with Byakuya trusting him. Poetic justice, in your eyes, Abarai Renji."

"I don't get you," muttered Renji. Actually, he did, and much more than what Urahara said. Urahara turned away from him, and Renji stared as he walked away.

He stopped a few feet away, his back still turned. Renji knew what he was going to say next, but he prayed to god that he wouldn't.

"Forget it," said Urahara simply."You cannot defeat Byakuya."

Renji walked forward slowly, dragging his sword along the sand.

"Wait till he resigns his post," continued Urahara. "He'll give it to you. He'll even give Rukia to you."

"What are you now, my personal fortune teller?" taunted Renji.

"I'm old enough to know how life works, and what people do. That's all," shrugged Urahara.

"But-"

"But where is the victory in that? To you, there isn't any. But you haven't lost either, so I don't see why you should be upset."

Renji was still upset. He swung his sword up at Urahara's back.

"Don't go on, just to break your own heart, Renji."

Renji brought his sword crashing down, beside him, and fell to his knees.

"I don't know. I don't know," he said, helplessly.

A streak of white- and both swords met again. This time it was back to the basics – only sword-fighting. The two opponents tried to keep up with each other, with their swords, with their almost equal need to emerge as the victor. They swiped wildly against each other, their swords making music upon contact. When they realized that nothing was going ahead, they both spilt apart, and Renji released Zabimaru to prowl again.

"I know your moves now, Renji," said Urahara. "Is it wise to re-use your Bankai?"

"It probably isn't but I don't care," he said, and he swung the skeleton around Urahara.

Bankai or shikai, it didn't make a difference. When one seemed to have the upper hand, it would only be a trap set by the other. They laced their direct attacks with hidden ones, so even if one was falling down he still had the assurance that his opponent was going to fall into the other trap soon. Renji learned his lesson, and found out that hiding had its benefits, only novices and idiots attacked full on without thought. Urahara learned that even monkeys have clever brains.

Yet, not so clever. Renji had drained out his own reiatsu by forcibly prolonging his Bankai. He still needed to learn control. That, Urahara decided, he would teach some other day. "Sword-fighting again, I'm afraid, Renji-kun?" asked Urahara as Zabimaru returned to shikai.

"Yeah, whatever…" though his answer was half-hearted, his swing was not. Forcing himself, he lashed out his sword, managing to swing a mini-version of his Bankai attacks. Still, it was the same story again, and Renji was getting angrier as he grew more tired; he realized he couldn't last-

"Say, Renji-kun, do you know any poems?" asked Urahara lazily, as he nullified Renji's multiple attacks with simple swishes.

"I… hate you," frowned Renji. He was panting, and had only enough reiatsu to sword fight now. He tired to gather up some energy, somehow, some motivation-

"Come on now, all that hanging around your noble-class captain must have given you inspiration," nagged Urahara.

"Shut up…" even though he was just fighting on impulse, and had no energy to think, a poem floated across his mind.

Veni, veni, venias,

Come, come, come,

do not let me die…

He gasped more mouthfuls dry air to keep pumping oxygen to his heart, to his limbs. Though it tore at his throat, the feeling only sharpened his senses, and his body tried to keep up as he mercilessly lashed out at his opponent.

Beautiful is your face,

the gleam of your eye,

And suddenly Rukia's eyes appeared in his mind, eyes that held a thousand dreams, just like the night sky…

your braided hair,

o what a glorious creature!

Although Renji had only seen Hisana's picture once, he could now guess why Byakuya fell so badly for her.

"Bankai, Hiho Zabimaru!"

Rosa rubicundior,

lilio candidior

White flashed as red blocked, and Zabimaru reared his head proudly at the enemy, unwilling to be defeated. He whipped up another storm, his movements only fueling his need, his roars only giving him more spirit. Not until his bones were charred, and his mane was burnt, would he give up. And maybe even then he'd still go on. Zabimaru would thrash this way and that; break, crush, shatter pieces of the world, to get what was so dear to his heart.

And yet again he was stuck down. Renji was falling, falling, waiting for his body to hit the ground so he could get up again…

lovelier than all, he continued

I shall always glory in thee…

"Not bad, Renji-kun," said Urahara, as he strolled over to Renji, sword upon his shoulder."Though, I expected more than three Bankai."

"You're so… discouraging, Urahara san –"sighed Renji, and fainted into bliss. He had exhausted himself to bits.

Urahara smiled slightly at the unconscious red head.

"Sometimes, a little discouragement is all the encouragement you need," he said quietly, turning away.

A/N:Sorry for the rosa rubicundior reference, I know it's overdone, but I just couldn't :P after all, that's what inspired me to write this fic in the first place (and it suits Renji, doesn't it?) I love RenjixRukia , no matter what the series show. And I looooovveeee Urahara to bits, but they hardly ever show him either :( Turn Back the Pendulum was such a treat for me. Oh, anyone know "Mr Brightside" from The Killers? Honestly, I used two ideas from previous fics for this fic - Priceless by at-kb and the "Mr Brightside" idea from FinalFantasyFreak10. Go read them :D Oh wait, review mine first, then go read them :P

~ohateder