A/N: First chapter of the honorable mention submission at fuckyeahstarshipping on tumblr. This was hilarious and fun to write, and I estimate about three chapters in this fic. Dedicated to pepperwright, who came up with this idea! I'm not entirely skilled at crackfic, but do have fun with it.

Also, dub names for GX are used and some dub slang is given to Jaden, but some of the characters may retain their Japanese habits. You'll see what I mean if you read.

Yusei had always been the type to sacrifice even some of his precious few sleeping hours to work on his D-wheel. As like any other day, his tools were splayed out around the warehouse in a chaotic jumble that only the diligent mechanic could make sense of, and he groaned uncomfortably as he twisted over and grabbed his flathead screwdriver from underneath the part he had just pulled from his machine. Tool clenched firmly between his lips, he bent over the riding duel interface and furrowed his brow. He wasn't quite sure how he could fit in this device he had been developing for the past few months. The past eight times he had tested it on his D-wheel hadn't been so lucky, but he was pretty sure it would work this time. Pretty sure.

He lowered the metal processing unit of the device into the gaping hole he had made near the engine and painstakingly fused the delicate wiring together, hands shaking with excitement. Just as he had finished attaching the main wires, a loud bang interrupted his thoughts, and his heart jumped out of his mouth. As Yusei fell backward, the screwdriver flew out of his mouth and made a graceful arc before it landed perfectly in the toolbox next to him. He scrambled to return his face to its usual seriousness.

"Nice one," Crow said as he descended the steps into the den. He gave Yusei a quick thumb up and strode up to the cherry red D-wheel. "What do you got going here? Some sort of interface improvement?"

"N-no it's a tim-" Yusei cleared his throat, the color refusing to leave his cheeks. "I mean, it's an... accelerator." He felt kind of lame giving Crow that reply, but he hoped against hope that his old friend wouldn't press him further about it. There was no way he was going to divulge his secret. At least not yet.

"Uhuh," Crow responded, obviously unimpressed.

"I was just about to test it out," Yusei said, swallowing his nervousness.

"Test it out? Isn't it something you can only test on the road?"

"Ah, right." Yusei fiddled with the device awkwardly. "I'll just..."

"Hey Yusei, you've been working awfully hard lately, huh? Take a break sometime. It might be good for your brain." Crow smirked as he poked Yusei in the forehead gently.

The mechanic barely heard his friend's words; he was already working on the part he had made and fitted into his D-wheel finally.

He turned the knob poking up through the dueling interface and waited with Crow in the nerve-wracking silence. If this time worked, he would finally be able to see that red jacket, that messy brown hair, that smiling face all over again. His eyes widened in anticipation as he imagined duels in the daytime and other things at night, things that made his face heat up with color and heat and-

It was only five minutes before a puff of smoke erupted from around the dial. Yusei sighed heavily and placed a reassuring hand on his precious motorcycle.

"Well... tenth time's the charm."

Yusei was about to be sick to his stomach. The swirling colors on every side of him weren't helping the chronic headaches he had developed from lack of sleep, and the unpleasant feeling of being sucked through the neck of a massive vacuum cleaner made his insides churn. He almost preferred sitting in the bowels of the Crimson Dragon the last time he had attempted time travel, because at least it was a fairly painless experience, minus of course the forceful ejection at the end of the trip. Even the Crimson Dragon's stomach acid was nothing compared to this ridiculous motion sickness.

He had just closed his eyes and forced down the unpleasant liquid creeping up in his throat when he felt the downward pull of gravity drag him out of the time stream. He saw a rush of green as he landed hard on what seemed to be... grass? He skidded, kicking up clots of dirt as he brought his D-wheel to a hard stop and mucked up the new paint job he had just given it. This disturbing thought clawed at his mind for a bit until his social senses tingled and told him he wasn't alone.

"Oi, Yusei!" an alarmingly familiar voice called out.

Yusei froze. That voice told him he had definitely come to the right time and place. He turned to see the face he had worked so hard to see, and it was just as unfailingly cheery as ever; in fact Jaden looked exactly the same as the last time they had parted, complete with that iconic red jacket, which was looking kind of unkempt and dirty.

"Hey, long time no see," the boy said, beaming.

Yusei, more shocked at having encountered Jaden so fast than concerned about what he was going to say next, sort of stared at him blankly in his usual serious fashion.

"Haven't changed at all, have you?" Jaden leaned forward and squinted his eyes. "Wait... aren't you supposed to be in the future?"

"I um... just got here on my D-wheel." Yusei glanced at his machine again, making a conscious effort to look everywhere but Jaden's face or arms or chest or everything else that made his cheeks heat up.

"That's awesome!"

Yusei gulped. "Aren't you um... supposed to be in school right now?"

"Eh?" The boy looked confused for a moment, but then something occurred to him. "Oh, you mean dueling history? It's so boring, I thought I might as well skip it. The professor wouldn't care anyway." He let out a short laugh. "But anyway, how about I show you around?"

Yusei opened his mouth to say something, but before he could get anything out, Jaden latched onto his arm, causing his words to be caught dead in his throat, and dragged him toward what appeared to be Jaden's school looming in the distance.

It was only a few moments before Jaden stopped dead. "Oh, you know what? How about we go to a party later? There's one in the Slifer dorm tonight. My treat," he said, winking.

The dark-haired duelist could only nod in agreement.

The party was already in full swing by the time Yusei had gathered up enough courage to come out of the dorm room Jaden had stuck him in to "pretty up". Yusei had never been a huge partygoer; in fact, he had never gone to one quite like this before, with a sea of people, all apparently within his age group and dancing to music so loud it shook his brain cells dead. He could remember, with not too much fondness, how parties like this would go on in Satellite, and usually they were places he would not like to be.

Though disoriented, Yusei managed to find Jaden among the crowd of students because, of course, Jaden was the only one wearing a red jacket. He had his gloved hands planted firmly over his ears, as the noise was louder than any D-wheel. He sort of sidled up to Jaden and waited awkwardly until the Slifer noticed him.

He was greeted with another wide smile. Jaden mouthed something he couldn't quite hear and grabbed his elbow, dragging him outside where the music was slightly less obnoxious. However, they weren't alone; it seemed that Jaden had an entourage with him wherever he went, and this specific posse included a small boy with misshapen glasses and a frightened look on his face, a taller guy who was tugging on Jaden's sleeve and saying "-saurus" and "-don" whenever the hell he could, and a very tall, very blond girl with breasts that could rival Aki's in their monstrosity. Yusei wasn't quite sure what to say to this motley crew, but he was too distracted to formulate anything to say as Jaden was practically hanging off of his arm and purring at this point.

"Yuseiiii," the Slifer said in that familiar singsong voice. The dark-haired duelist turned and wrinkled his nose. Jaden smelled kind of odd, almost sour, and it concerned him.

"Jaden... perhaps you should take a shower," he said as politely as he could muster.

Jaden giggled. "Only if you come with me."

"Uh..." Yusei was pretty sure his entire body was blushing at this point, and he looked away with an obviously uncomfortable expression on his face which Jaden didn't seem to catch. He chanced a look at Jaden again after a few seconds, and the brunette was still looking into his eyes rather hungrily. It was only until after Jaden had let go of his arm that Yusei noticed the sharp eyes of the blond were practically boring holes into his skull.

With a scowl on her face dark enough to wilt black roses, she activated her duel disk and said, "You seem like a fairly respectable duelist. How about we have a duel?"

A few minutes later, she had shrieked and fallen to the ground at a particularly strong holographic attack from Stardust Dragon. The short boy and the dinosaur boy were standing in utter awe as Yusei deactivated his duel disk and looked at his opponent. He sort of felt sorry for her, but she didn't seem like the kind of person who would want him to hold back. So really all he had done was summon Stardust, and she fell right to him.

"Whoa!" Jaden said, obviously elated. "That was the sweetest duel ever! And seriously what was that dragon? You sink summoned it or something?"

"Synchro summon," Yusei replied, confused. Was there a time when synchro summoning didn't exist? He couldn't imagine his deck without it.

"That's so amazing, Yusei. You'll have to duel me too... later tonight. If you know what I mean." Jaden winked again.

Yusei gave him the benefit of the doubt.

"Oi, Syrus, get me more of that stuff, will you? We need to toast to winning over Alexis in two turns! She's tough, man!" By then Jaden's voice was quite loud.

The small blue-haired boy scurried off in the direction of the Slifer dorm and came back carrying two red cups in his hands, walking carefully so as not to spill them. They were filled to the brim. "You know, Jay, you really shouldn't be drinking this."

"Ah, it's fine, Syrus! I found it in the Obelisk dorm, what harm could it do?"

"Okay... if you say so." Syrus sighed heavily and handed a cup each to Jaden and Yusei. "Just don't have too much of it, alright?"

"You got it, Sy!" Jaden exclaimed as Syrus sighed again and headed back into the dorm, motioning for Alexis and the dino boy to follow him. Yusei stood motionlessly, swirling around the strange liquid inside the cup.

"To your awesome victory!" The Slifer raised his cup high, sloshing some of it over the side, and then downed the entire thing in one gulp. Alarmed and unsure if Jaden was just being extravagant or if it was polite to drink the substance so quickly, followed suit. The liquid burned his throat and tasted incredibly bitter; however, this nice feeling was beginning to take over him as he stood there, attempting to digest whatever he had just drunk.

Soon he was seeing stars. And not just stars in the sky, but those little white ones that pressed on his vision and gave him a severe headache. He felt incredibly ill and nauseous and hungry all at the same time, but he had already decided that this drink that made him feel good was probably not the cause, so he took another cup and drank about half of it.

"Um... Jaden." It obviously hadn't helped.

"Hm? What's wrong, pal?"

But by the time Jaden had finished saying his horrendously out-of-fashion nickname for all of his friends, Yusei was already out cold.