Zack sighed as he absently tossed a handful of strawberries and sliced up bananas into the ice-filled blender. His life held three nonnegotiable truths: London would always be an easy source of free (or almost free) money. Cody would always be a geek. And Zack would always treat girls as objects to pass the time when he was bored.

But something, or rather, someone, showed up and began challenging the last truth. And it was, for all intents and purposes, driving Zack insane. Never before had he deferred to his brother for advice on girls. And he couldn't think of the last time he asked London to help make someone jealous. But Zack had done all these things, and more, in order to snatch his latest conquest and hold her in his arms.

And somewhere along the way, Zack began falling in love with his conquest. This wasn't supposed to happen. After all, it ran completely contrary to a truth that had never been proved wrong.

But it was still happening. Maya was slowly occupying his every thought. (And to think he thought it cheesy when Cody talked about his ubiquitous thoughts of Bailey.)

At first, it was just physical attraction towards the hot new girl. That was normal. It was to be expected, even. But then she rejected his offer to go on a date. So he did what he always did when faced with rejection: he found a replacement.

But the replacement date did not go smoothly as Zack found himself admiring Maya's every witty comment; her every sarcastic comeback. He found himself smiling as Maya approached his table with a kiddie menu and two boxes of crayons. He found himself ogling at the waitress so unabashedly that even his dimwit of a date noticed. And worst of all, he saw Maya's face on every passenger's body. He appreciated what he normally would have dismissed. Surely that was a sign of his insanity.

By the end of the week, he had become so infatuated with Maya that he was willing to follow the advice of Cody's absurd "six-month" plan. Needless to say, throwing a Kettle Corn Mulch Festival for a New York-native was not a good idea.

And when Cody explained to him that every girl was different and unique – that they each required a different approach, and that getting to know a girl first was crucial...it finally clicked within Zack's mind. He would first become Maya's friend.

Of course, that strategy required a lot of resolve on his part and strained his self-control. Zack subconsciously rubbed the scars on his wrist that resulted from self-inflicted pain. (He abandoned that part of Cody's plan rather quickly. It just wasn't working.)

But when Truth #1 occurred (London paid him $5,000 to move shoes) and Truth #2 rendered his brother out of the picture (Cody was in some chess tournament), Zack sprung to action. He offered Maya $4,000 to help him move shoes from London's submarine with him. She had thought him crazy at the time, but who would reject four grand?

The plan was genius on the surface. The two of them, working together in a cramped submarine...

But Woody had to ruin it all by offering to tag along, and London decided to appoint herself task manager.

It didn't turn out that bad after all, Zack figured, when Maya admitted to having a crush on him. It was even better when she held him close and clung on as if her life depended on it. If any other girl had attempted this, Zack would have instinctively fled. After all, girls were meant to pass the time, not something to hold and comfort and to take care of. But Maya was a different kind of girl. Or maybe Zack had become a different boy.

So when Zack had asked her out several hours later, he wasn't too surprised when Maya outright rejected him again. "Not right now," she had said. Zack still smiled when he thought of those three words. It meant that there was a potential future for the two of them.

Maya may have been playing hard to get, but Zack figured that he didn't really care. After all, girls are like apples on a tree. The best ones are at the top of the tree. He had spent most his life sifting through the rotten ones that had fallen onto the ground. But now that he had a taste of what a good apple was like, he was willing to climb. All the way to the top of the tree.

"Kraken," Zack said, grinning as he placed his smoothie on a tray and Maya came to collect it.

"Kraken!" Maya shot back, feigning annoyance even as she let out a small smile.

The old Zack would not have enjoyed this cheesy flirting. But he was now a different Zack.

–

Well, you really needed to watch Das Boots to understand the last bit, but either way, I hope you enjoyed this fic! Please R&R!