Title: The Road Not Taken
Author: Native
Genre: canon!AU, angst
Rating: K
Note: For the "shoot, swish, score" kink meme. Prompt was: "How Seirin's Kuroko was seduced away by Aomine to join Teikou..." - AoKuro.
Note2: This story now has a sequel, "The Path Not Followed"! ;)

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

When all is said and done, Aomine cannot, for the life of him, find enough anger, enough rage – enough sadness – to hate Tetsu. For a long time, he cannot breathe properly either, his thoughts clouded with the actions of his partner of three years – what was he thinking? Did he assume that they wouldn't notice him gone, like the others didn't notice him at all? What could have been more important than them – their team – more important than him?

Maybe they were the issue here – and Tetsu didn't want to be a shadow anymore – didn't want to be his for a second longer, he took off in the middle of the ceremony, after all – or he was just tired of all this shit, much like himself was, and he'd come back - he'd come back and they'd play together again, it was only – a setback of sort, and fuck if he didn't answer his phone anymore, didn't respond to his texts, was never home - he'd come back soon enough, ready to go wherever –

That doesn't happen.

When Satsuki tells him that Ryou told her that – Kurokocchi has a new team, and there's this red-haired kid named Kagami who – he freezes and for one second all he thinks about is Tetsu. Tetsu, he thinks. Tetsu, Tetsu, Tetsu – and it's like three months ago all over again, when Akashi says, as if he was talking about the weather, "He moved", and "He didn't give his new address to anyone", and, in a whisper, "You failed him" –

Aomine, who was lying down on the roof, as usual, doesn't even let her finish her sentence. He gets up, and thinks.

Tries to rationalize what he just learnt – somewhere, Tetsu is playing basketball. He was afraid that – he thought that without him, he wouldn't be, he wouldn't, he'd - but he's still there, yes, somewhere, even if it's not with him, and that helps, somehow. It's a start, he knows he's alive and well and playing and that's all that counts, he's playing –

And it's not with him.

Reality comes crashing down on him when he sees his partner with this red-haired kid. He's passing the ball to him – like he did to Aomine, and that was still meant for him only last year – adjusting his level, controlling his power, toning down his genius for that excuse of a player, that red-haired kid – and Aomine despises this new light with everything he has, despises him so much it hurts, so he swears that -

He will never fail him again.

He crushes them, like only he can – he takes their spirit, their hope in his hands, and he looks at Tetsu and clenches his fists and destroy everything and there's rage, there's anger, there's everything he could never tell his partner in what he does then, 'cause said partner didn't give him the chance, stopped answering his phone, moved – "Wasn't it what you wanted?" he wants to ask, when all is said and done and Seirin's on its knees. They lie broken, so maybe Tetsu understands now – where he should be – where he should go – and if Aomine talks to him, he'll come and they'll be together again –

That doesn't happen.

Seasons come and go and Aomine still cannot breathe fully. It's as if Tetsu was dead, he thinks, one time Satsuki actually succeeds in convincing him to go to practice – 'cause when Aomine turns to ask Tetsu "Hey, did you see that?", and Tetsu isn't here, never was, and only thinking, not even knowing, even less acknowledging that he never will –

He snaps.

Something broke when he thought about – it killed something in him – and it hurts, it hurts so much – please come back, come back to me, with me, come back, I'll never fail you again, I'll train twice as hard, more than anyone, I'll change – I

He's at Tetsu's door (Satsuki knew all along, but it's alright, isn't it?) when he wakes up from this nightmare, and there're tears in the corners of his eyes. He must be quite the mess, because the other let him in without saying anything, without asking any questions – but that was never his way anyway. At first, Aomine drinks up the sight of Tetsu's home, that's where he stays now (and it's fucking close to Seirin), he never went before, and it's neat, like no one lives here, as if –

"I see you. I see you everywhere," he simply says, without looking at the other, and there's a silence that Tetsu seems about to break when –

"I wake up thinking – that you were never there in the first place. If you never were, then you never – but you know what? As soon as I see a fucking ball – and when I search the court for you – and you were never there to begin with!"

He's breathing hard, as if he had just run a marathon – but then again he probably did run from the train station, and it's been months since he was able to take a full inspiration - and he's got so much more to say and nowhere enough fucking words - and he's surprised to see his partner just before him, he hasn't realized and he can only think never there -

"Aomine-kun," Tetsu says, and he seems so foreign, he changed a bit – it's almost a year? – but you didn't, you're still stuck - stuck on him -

You kiss him.
It's disgustingly soft and gentle, given the state you're in and the fact that you didn't even know that you wanted to do this until you did, and that frees you, just for a second – of everything – and you think once again "Tetsu, Tetsu, Tetsu…"

Then comes the fear.

You stop, but for the life of you, you cannot release his arms, not when you hang on him as if he was a lifeline – "I can't stand it without you," you say, half-crying, half-frightened – he'll never want to talk to you again, never want to see you again, not after all the shit you pulled on him, not after this –

"It has no meaning without you," you try again, and you don't look at him anymore, and he doesn't try to pry you away from him, but – you failed him, you hear Akashi whispering, you failed him–

"I'm sorry," Aomines hears, and he'd give anything to see Tetsu's face in that moment, but the other seems to be looking at the floor, and, somehow – that reminds him of their first year – and he smiles –

"You're hurting me," he murmurs, as if he was the one with the death grip on his arms, "Stop hurting me," and his voice doesn't break but he feels like it should have, and again "Please, Tetsu, please – Tetsu..."

He doesn't control anything anymore at this point – doesn't control his words, his thoughts, and he can't stop himself from pouring everything – all this year, this fucking year– with his voice low and his trembling hands –

"I'm sorry."

Tetsu submits his notice of withdrawal from Seirin the day after.