I was up all night reading Sparrabeth fluff, and apparantly it magically inspired me to write this in ONE SITTING. It's unheard of, seriously. The song, which I guess you don't need but I recommend, is "My Name" – Lhasa de Sela.
Weak voice, nearly a whisper – on the inside, a bellow: "Lizzie..."
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Why don't you ask me how long I've been waiting
Set down on the road with the gunshots exploding
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An attempt at good humour, an invisible crack at the end: "Been a long time, Jack."
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I'm waiting for you in the gloom and the blazing
I'm waiting for you
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He strides forward, stops abruptly with a slight sway, and makes an elaborate bow. A little laugh escapes her. When he comes back up, her shock is replaced by radiance, an honest smile.
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I sing like a slave, I know I should know better
I've learned all my lessons right down to the letter
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She finds her composure. "What are you doing here? Is..." She tries to think of anyone. "Gibbs with you?" Pause. "Are you staying long?"
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And still I go on like this, year after year
Waiting for miracles
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He shoots her a suspicious look, with something serious lurking behind it. "Why... Are you?"
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And shaking with fear
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She has no answer. She shudders and it escapes, her eyes nailed to his, like a forced confession: "I couldn't do it!" She tries to keep the other words stockpiling in her throat from following. It hurts. A few escape when she can't hold her breath. "I couldn't wait, I had to let him go."
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Why don't you answer
Why don't you come save me
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He is so still, as if he has suddenly sobered up. There is an unbelievable thought that because of this, she will stay and explain the things that have been eating at his insides. An unbelievable hope.
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Show me how to use
All these things that you gave me
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He comforts, eyes torn away to the ground: "W'll... S'alright, love, sure 'ell understand."
She knows he will.
He looks up again and tries to sound cheerfully indifferent: "So's that all you've got for ol' Jack, hm?" He swivels his hand. "Ain't you gonna ask me 'bout..." His eyebrows furrow, eyes go to the ceiling as he searches for an elegant phrasing. "My fantastic voyages. Adventures. Special, magic powers..." He stares wide-eyed at his fingertips.
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Turn me inside out so my bones can save me
Turn me inside out
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Her smiles can't be held back. She cocks her head, crosses her arms over her chest: "Of course, Captain, where are my manners. Do tell, have you taken any fantastic voyages? Been on any adventures?"
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You've come this close
You can come even closer
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A quick look at her shoes. "Offended any damsels lately?"
"No."
Her brow furrows now.
"Well, yes. But no."
His mouth opens and closes, he takes off his hat and holds it out in a bowing gesture towards the door. She obeys with confusion.
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In quiet moonlight on the wooden deck outside the tavern he looks unsure of himself. The very unfamiliarity urges her pulse on.
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The gunshots get louder
And the world spins faster
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Inconveniently timed hallucinations: He hears someone speak. "There were complications. Difficulties. Of the..." He spins his indexfingers around each other. Is he speaking? "Getting anywhere." The hat comes off. He examines it. "No fantastic voyages. No adventures." The hat lands on the railing. He adds, quietly: "No damsels."
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And things just get further and further apart
The head from the hands
And hands from the heart
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"I don't understand."
He looks back at her, as if he doesn't believe that she's real, or as if he doesn't believe he's really there. He reaches inside his coat, swaying lightly, and takes out his compass. Held between them, they stare at it. He flips the lid open. Her heart picks up the pace further as she wonders what this means.
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One thing that's true
Is the way that I love him
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The needle doesn't move; it stays still, directed straight forward. Her heart is beating as if to break out of it's cage. Keeping her eyes on him, she carefully moves away, to the side, tensing as if judging her opponent in a sword fight. He stays, eyes at the compass, just turning slowly on the spot.
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The earth down below
And the sky up above him
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There is an unbelievable thought that this is not a lie. That because of this, he will let her stay with him. An unbelievable hope. She carefully moves in the other direction and doesn't breath as she watches him slowly turn with her, together with the needle.
He mumbles, still staring at the compass: "See, it... won't really... direct me towards the open seas anymore."
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And still I go on like this
Day after day
Still I go on like this
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She comes closer, puts out her hand; he places the compass in it. She turns and walks away, clutching the compass to her pounding chest. With her back to him she tries to catch her breath. The needle is pointing back now, through her, towards the spot where he still stands. She knew that it would be.
She slowly turns around, following the seesaw needle wobble as it turns with her to stay on its target. Hesitantly she returns, holding the compass in both hands like an offering, to show him. He watches it in wonder.
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Now I've said this
I already feel stronger
I can't keep waiting for you any longer
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As he places his hands over hers to take it back, the needle spins furiously around until she lets go. He slips it back into his pocket. She looks at her feet, at the street, out to the harbour. With small, questioning movements she chips away at the space between them until she can place her head lightly on his chest.
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I need you now, not some day when I'm ready
Come down on the road
Come down on the road
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She leans in against his apprehensive frame and it pushes the breath out of his lungs, the breath he didn't know he was holding. Any remaining distance seems painful now; he tries to wrap his arms around her and feels no resistance; instead something snakes around his waist and pulls her in even closer. As close as one gets, from top to bottom, as close as can be without toppling over.
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My name
My name
Nothing is the same
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"Come with me." He sounds small, not used to ask for anything.
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And I won't go back the way I came
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"Yes." There is almost wonder in her voice, that there would be any other way.
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My name
My name
Nothing is the same