Thank you all for returning to read what happens to Neal and Peter I hope you enjoy and reviews are just wonderful they help me not to off the wrong person in a story... hope you all enjoy and now on with the show
Chapter 1
"Thanks for coming on such short notice… I know you have other patients to see but it's getting serious," Peter said as he led Neal's therapist downstairs to the kitchen and out the back door to the enclosed garden where Neal was lounging on the bench swing smoking and just watching Jace as he played with his toys. "Well, when one of my patient's family members calls me at four in the morning to tell me that he caught my patient cutting himself of course I'm going to make time. Has he said anything?" the doctor asked quietly as they stood in the doorway and watched Neal. Peter shook his head and sighed. "He hasn't said much in the last two weeks just the usual questions about whether the twins or Adler has being located," the agent said sighing as he walked over to pick up Jace to be fed him and changed before Mozzie came over for his day to babysit Jace and Neal.
"Neal, have you eaten yet today?" the therapist asked taking a seat on one of the patio chairs near the swing. Neal shook his head before finishing his cigarette and rolling back his shirt sleeves that revealed deep wine colored cuts on his wrist and forearm below the bandages he still had on from the straps that held him to the bed when he gave birth. "Neal I know arguing with you to eat doesn't work but I'm going insist that you try to so you can keep up your strength. If you don't eat then I'll be forced to do something more drastic," he said taking in Neal's smaller than normal frame. Not getting a response from Neal the therapist stood up with a sigh. "I'm going to go now Neal if you get the urge to cut again call me and we'll talk about what you're feeling," he added as he walked back into the kitchen and looked at Peter. "He's on a very dangerous path especially with his previous suicide attempt and the lack of eating, I'm going to have to insist that if he doesn't snap out of this soon we're going to have to commit him, he needs more than just to sulk around and wait for you and the FBI to rescue his children," the therapist said.
Peter nodded and looked through the outer door at Neal. "I can't do that to him, that would be like putting him in prison and I promised I would never put him back in prison if I could help it. I don't believe that place would help him at all… but I will keep it under advisement just in case," Peter said as he looked back at Jace as he started to make a racket with his plate for some more food. When Mozzie arrived Peter showed Neal's therapist to the door before returning to the kitchen and sitting at the table across from Mozzie. "Please tell me you have something… anything I don't care if it's a picture of bigfoot square dancing with Adler I just need to tell Neal something, I'm starting to lose him… he's shying away a bit more each day and losing himself in his own depression," Peter said sighing.
Mozzie sat there for a moment thinking of how to word it. " I found someone I worked with years ago who's been in contact with a guy who looks Vincent Adler but he's not in the city anymore he's in Aspen, Colorado. He's been there for about three days and he has a pair of newborns with him. He just moved into a rental apartment downtown. Alex is in the area for reasons I can't and won't go into, she's going to see if it's him," he said quietly as the back door opened and Neal shuffled in wearing four day old sweat pants and one of Peter's old sports shirts that was at least three sizes too big on him. Not even acknowledging the other two in the kitchen Neal went over to Jace and picked him up despite his fussing before dropping himself into a chair. Neal just stared at the kitchen table and held Jace close to him. "I'm going to head to work now, I'll be home on time tonight and I'll make dinner," Peter said kissing Neal's cheek and leaving their home.
Arriving at the office Peter sighed as he walked by Neal's formally empty desk which was now housing the White Collar Division's newest CI while Neal was on psych leave. Giving another sigh Peter heard his new CI run up behind him and start talking a mile a minute. "Why don't you go and get some coffee for me… from the place down the street and make sure it's perfect," he said as the new CI took off. Walking into Hughes' office Peter groaned "Sir there must be another CI we could have gotten; this one is so annoying…" Peter said as he took a seat. "It wasn't my choice to get him; that was the deputy director of the New York office's idea…I think he's still pretty pissed that an agent married his CI after knocking him up…" Hughes said remembering the long conversation he had. "We're just lucky he didn't decide to throw Neal back in prison since he's not working with us right now," he added. Peter nodded and sighed again as he looked at his boss.
Neal's therapist wants me to commit him to a mental health facility… I can't do that to him, I love him and putting him there is like a prison for the mind," Peter said as he thought about how Neal was that morning. "I think I have something that will help," Hughes said as he walked around his desk and grabbed a folder and brought it over to Peter. "It's a fraud case and we need to put someone on the inside and the only people without background checks are the patients," Hughes said as Peter read the file over. "I'll think about it," Peter said after taking the file and going to his office to begin work. Peter avoided looking at the folder while he worked through lunch. He waited until everyone else had left for lunch before walking into Hughes' office. "If we do this you have to promise me that there is going to be an agent undercover with Neal just in case something goes wrong," Peter said setting down the ground rules. "I'll try and get someone in there but I can't promise anything," Hughes said being honest. "Either you get that back up or I pull the plug right here and now," Peter warned knowing he had the upper hand in the case.
Hughes sat there for a moment "Fine, we'll get someone Neal knows but you're off the case as an agent since you're too close to it. You'll still be updated and our liaison from what Neal finds out," Hughes said laying down his rules and getting a nod from Peter. "Peter…its best you not tell Neal about this being a job right away he needs to be in the dark when you bring him there," Hughes said treading carefully. Thinking for a moment before speaking Peter put his hand against his mouth. "So you want me to throw him in the lion's den allowing him to think that I believe he's so crazy that I'm putting him away…" Peter remarked as he started to regret agreeing to the case.
Working as quickly as possible Peter finished early so he could head home and get dinner started. Pulling up in front of the townhouse he saw Neal sitting in the front window like a large cat just watching the world go by. As he went inside Peter was caught off guard when he felt Neal's arms go around him hugging and kissing him. Peter looked at Neal trying to figure out what changed in just one day to make him so giddy; he found it when he noticed Neal's pupils were dilated. "Neal you're stoned…what did you take this time?" Peter asked holding Neal still as he tried to get away to hide the evidence. "Nothing… please let go," Neal begged giving his best pout. Not falling for the look Peter held onto Neal's arm as he walked him downstairs to where Mozzie was drinking a glass of wine.
"When I said watch him I meant it, he's higher than an airplane right now. What did he take, or what did you give him?" Peter asked as serious as possible while looking at the shorter man as he sat Neal down at the table as both of them kept quiet. "Stay right here I'm going to check on Jace," he added as he went upstairs to Jace's room and found him hugging a stuffed animal napping on the floor.
Crouching down Peter put a gentle hand on Jace's back and rubbed it a bit waking him up. Rubbing his eyes Jace hugged his stuffed animal in one arm. "Hi Dada…" he said smiling. "Hey buddy, come on it's almost dinner time," Peter said picking his son up and carrying to the kitchen. Placing Jace in his high chair Peter looked at Neal and Mozzie. "Okay Mozzie you're free to go," he said as he watched the smaller man leave the kitchen. "Neal… please will you tell me what you're taking and how often you're doing this?" Peter asked.
Neal looked up slowly from the marble topped island counter. "I just don't want to be sad anymore Peter… I'm just so tired of everything…tired of not knowing whether or not the twins are even alive still. I just feel like a horrible father and an even worse husband we're supposed to love each other every moment and…why are you smiling?" Neal asked realizing the look on Peter's face. Peter kept smiling "This is the first time you've said more than two words to me since I found you in that warehouse, but I'm still upset that you're getting high to be like this, this doesn't mean your cured, I'm going to get you help I promise," Peter remarked sadly as he kept holding Neal's hand like the younger man would vanish if he didn't hold him there.
Giving a very weak smile Neal let Peter get dinner ready while he stayed in his seat. Peter watched Neal and Jace every chance he got as he put two plates down for him and Neal; then he quickly grabbed the toddler food for Jace. Peter could only watch as Neal pushed his food around his plate as he put the rubber spoon on Jace's high chair table and let him work on feeding himself. Neal looked up when he heard Jace kicking his legs back and forth while he ate. Neal was only able to eat a few bites as he started to come down from his high. Neal put his head down and groaned softly as the smell of food was making him feel a bit ill. Peter knew this was going to be the last he saw Neal for the night before he locked himself away for the night. Getting up from the table Neal dragged himself out of the room.
"Mama…mama…" Jace called as he watched Neal leave the kitchen. Peter felt his heart break at the sad look on his son's face as he started to cry at Neal for abandoning him. Picking Jace up Peter comforted him as best as he could as he walked over to the phone and called Neal's therapist again and asked him to start the paperwork to commit Neal to the facility the FBI had under investigation. "Yes, Twin Creeks, as early as you can get him in… I changed my mind when I came home and found out he's been getting high after I leave for work… you're right he needs help… no thank you for doing this… I'll wait for your call," Peter said hanging the phone up and feeling horrible about what he did behind Neal's back.
After getting Jace to calm down he put his son in the family room while he called Hughes and gave him all the details about how they were going to get someone inside the facility. "You better keep me informed of everything on the investigation or I will pull Neal out of there faster than you can blink," Peter warned before hanging up and going into the family room to play with Jace for a while.
Neal tore his art studio apart looking for his small stash but when he couldn't find it he fell to his knees and put his head in his hands, gripped his hair tightly and rocked. "No I don't want to feel…I don't want to remember" Neal mumbled as he fell farther off his high. Neal pulled himself over to the couch and groaned as he climbed on and passed out. Peter bathed and put Jace to bed early before he made his way to the top floor to find that Neal had passed out on the couch and was breathing softly. "Neal…please don't hate me I'm only doing this to help you," Peter remarked as he got up, found a blanket and covered Neal before tucking him in. Before he left Peter made sure that the doors to the terrace were still chained shut. Ever since the loss of the twins Neal's depression made Peter anxious that Neal would try a jump from the roof.
Heading downstairs and locking up for the night Peter checked all the rooms to make sure no one was coming in through a window before he climbed into bed for the night. Just as he was getting ready he started to climb into bed Peter heard a noise at the door and found Neal standing there as he walked into the room a little unsteady on his feet as he sat on the bed. "Can I sleep in here?" Neal asked softly like it was forbidden to ask such a question.
"Of course, you never have to ask; this is your room too," Peter said as he greeted Neal with a hug and helping him change for the night. Peter then grabbed a wash cloth and wiped some dirt off Neal's face and made him brush his teeth before he would let him get into bed. Once he was ready Peter followed suit and crawled into bed with his husband and just looked into his eyes that still seemed to be void of that sparkle he fell in love with. "Get some sleep; you need it…" Peter said softly stroking Neal's face until he fell asleep again knowing it was only a matter of time before he snuggled for warmth. After a few minutes Neal slid closer and slipped his head under Peter's jaw as he moved closer for warmth.
Peter sighed as he listened to Neal breathe softly and Jace over the baby monitor. Getting comfortable Peter slowly drifted off to sleep as he held Neal close hoping that he was getting better. As time ticked by silence fell over the town house as the occupants were asleep. Peter woke with a start when Neal began to scream bloody murder in his sleep. After checking for any danger he grabbed Neal and shook him out of his nightmare. Still caught between the sleeping and waking world Neal panicked and threw a punch catching Peter in the jaw. Shaking in fear Neal looked around the dark bedroom quickly his eyes darting to every shadow. Peter moved quickly and pinned Neal down. "Neal calm down it's me; take a deep breath and relax…" Peter remarked as he slowly let Neal go and turned a light on.
Scrambling out of bed Neal grabbed the nightstand drawer and pulled it out and dumped it on the floor until he found what he was looking for. Grabbing the pill bottle he had hidden Neal struggled against the cap until it burst open and spilled the remaining pills on the floor. Peter made a grab for the pills but failed as the younger man scooped the pills and swallowed them dry. Leaning back against the night table Neal looked up his eyes brimming with tears that shimmered as they threatened to fall. "I need help…" he sobbed as the tears spilled over and let his head rest against the edge of the bed. Crawling out of bed Peter was thankful Jace was such a heavy sleeper since Neal needed him at the moment.
Moving very carefully Peter sat beside Neal and put an arm around him. "Neal… do you really mean that?" Peter asked carefully. When Neal didn't answer Peter leaned forward and looked at Neal's face and found him asleep again. Grabbing the bottle off the floor he sighed. "Anti-anxiety, take two when needed," Peter read softly. Cradling Neal close Peter put him back into bed and tucked him in carefully before he grabbed his phone and left the room. Heading into the library down the hall he shut the door and called Neal's doctor and apologized for the call before explaining everything and how Neal had commented he needed help. "I don't know what is going on but he needs Twin Creeks more than ever especially if he's open to getting help and talking more," Peter said hopeful that Neal would get the help he needed and hopefully not be too upset that he's doing this for work as well.
"Agent Burke, don't take this the wrong way but it seems like you have an ulterior motive to get him there. There wouldn't be a case involving Twin Creeks now would there… and judging by your silence I'm right… it's very dangerous to put someone in Neal's condition under pressure like that but Twin Creeks is one of the best mental health facilities in the area and they do wonderful work. So I will ask you keep me apprised of everything and I will be keeping watch of Neal as a visiting doctor as well. I hope you understand if this backfires all the work I've done with Neal could end up in flames and he could revert to his recluse self and we may never get him back to normal," the doctor warned. Peter stood there for a moment in deep thought. "I'm willing to risk it…Neal is stronger than he looks right now and I know he can get better," he said before hanging up and dropping into a chair.
When the sun rose the next morning Peter cleared his throat as he stretched and got out of the chair just as his phone rang. "Good morning Doctor Snow, you got him in… yeah I can have him ready and there in an hour…yeah I'll make sure he packs light," Peter said as he hung up and sent a quick text to Elizabeth to ask her to babysit for a while. After walking into the master bedroom Peter leaned over and shook Neal awake. "Hey… I'm got a surprise for you…" Peter said swallowing hard as he lied to Neal. Opening his eyes Neal looked at Peter. "What's the surprise?" he asked softly as he got out of bed and dressed in comfortable clothes. Peter didn't answer right away as he grabbed a small overnight bag to toss a few of Neal's things in it and a couple framed pictures of Neal and Jace together with him. "I can't say right now… but please trust me," he said before tossing the bag at Neal. Catching the bag Neal looked at his husband in confusion as he was led downstairs just as Elizabeth let herself in. Peter yanked Neal out of the house and manhandled him into the car. "We don't want to hit traffic," Peter claimed as he drove off heading toward upstate. An hour later after a long silent car ride Neal's eyes fell on a white and brick mansion that looked like it belonged to the high society of the late twenties. Driving up the drive Neal caught sight of a sign between the tree lined drive. "Twin Creeks Mental Health Facility" he read craning his neck to catch all the words.
Pulling up to the front of the building it dawned on Neal something was wrong when he saw his therapist standing on the sidewalk with two other doctors and some buff men dressed in scrubs. "Peter… what are we doing here?" Neal asked fear lacing his voice. Peter waited until after parking to answer. He sighed and looked at the younger man, "Doctor Snow suggested this the other day and we were lucky to get you in here… you need help Neal… serious professional help," Peter remarked as Neal glared at him before getting out of the car and slamming the door.
Grabbing Neal's travel bag Peter shut the car off and got out. "Neal, come back here," Peter called as he tossed the bag on the roof of the car and caught Neal by the arm as he tried to walk back down the long driveway. "I'm not crazy Peter… I don't want to be here," Neal yelled trying to pull away as the doctors and orderlies came over. "This is my fault Neal… and we don't think you're crazy at all we just want to help you is all and being cooped up in your house is not helping you heal right now," Dr. Snow said calmly as the orderlies moved in sync to catch Neal if he tried to rabbit.
Neal didn't believe a word as he tried to yank his arm free just as the orderlies came over and corralled Neal between them. They held him as they walked him back toward the building and up the stairs. Peter followed closely behind as he grabbed the overnight bag and walked into the facility to fill out the necessary paperwork that was set before him as he tried to ignore the glares from Neal that were filled with anger and abandonment. They were given a quick tour of the facility before they came to Neal's private room. After Neal's bag was inspected for anything that could be used as a weapon or for self-harm the director and orderlies gave Peter and Neal some time alone.
"You better start talking right now Peter… what the hell is going on!" Neal demanded as he paced the stark white room that made him feel like he was in a prison cell again. Glancing around Peter kept his voice down. "A case came to us about this place" Peter managed to get out as he saw the fire burn in Neal's eyes. "Of course… and lucky us I just happened to be so fucking nuts that we could go here," Neal spat as he moved to throw a punch at the wall. Peter was able to catch Neal's wrist before he could do himself some harm and pulled him roughly into his lap so they were facing at each other. "I know you're angry and scared but I promise I'll be up here every Saturday to visit and as long as you do what you have to you'll get better," Peter said softly as he reached up to caress Neal's cheek softly.
Lowering his gaze Neal focused his gaze on how rumpled his shirt got. "Please don't leave me here… I promise I'll be good…" he said sounding small and innocent. Peter gave him a weak smile as he tilted Neal's chin up so they were looking at each other. "Give it at least two weeks; I promise I'll come visit on Saturday to see how you're progressing," he replied as he kissed the tip of Neal's nose before pulling him close into his arms until he calmed down. Moving Neal off his lap Peter sat him down on the bed and held his hand. "As soon as I find the twins I'll get you out of here alright…I promise and I love you," Peter said as he got off the bed and pried Neal's hands off his arm before leaving the room.
"No don't leave me….I'll be good I promise… I don't want to stay here alone…" Neal begged again hoping Peter would turn around and come back for him. "I love you…I'm sorry… come back…" Neal cried out softly as Peter left the room and closed the door behind him. Throwing himself on the bed Neal sobbed into his pillow until his eyes burned; distraught Neal pulled the pictures of him with his husband and son from the bag that Peter had packed earlier for comfort. He stared intently at the one of him and Jace at the park and of the three of them while sitting by the window. He stared out at the grounds and became lost in his own world so much so that he didn't hear the knock at the door. "Mr. Caffrey… hi I'm Rebecca but you can call me Becky. I'm the treatment coordinator and activity director… now I wanted to talk to you so I can figure out what your likes and dislikes are and plan your activities around them," she said her voice overly sweet and bubbly.
Instantly annoyed Neal continued to stare out the window and ignore the woman as she continued to rattle off the lists of activities at the facility from memory. "You know you look like someone who would just love some basket weaving… we have that on Mondays and Wednesdays," she said with a smile. Neal visibly shuddered at the thought of lowering himself to doing arts and crafts. "I'd rather chew my own tongue off than weave a basket," he said turning to the young woman before putting the pictures down on the dresser.
"Now that's not very nice attitude. You are only going to make it harder to adjust. I'll just put you down for some basic arts for now until we talk some more in a couple days. We will be expecting you in the beginning to paint and drawing class. Oh and your new clothes will be here soon for you to wear. The clothes you are wearing now are just for outings and we'll keep them in storage," Rebecca said just as a nurse came in with seven sets blue pajamas bottoms and white tee shirts. After putting the clothes on the bed the nurse left the room with Rebecca closing the door behind them.
Neal tried to ignore the horrible clothing as he put them and his other clothing away and decided to venture out of his room to get the lay of the land. As he walked down the hall Neal counted each step and glanced at every camera and smirked when he noticed they were in fixed positions with quite a few blind spots. Neal sighed when he saw more windows covered with grates and locks in the day room and not wanting to get too friendly with anyone Neal turned around and made his way back to his room watching the nurses who were on their phones while they were on their breaks. Neal closed the door to his room when he arrived and fell onto his bed to mentally try to plan an escape route. If it worked once it could work again these people aren't as smart as the FBI… Neal thought as he worked on all ways the plans could fail so he knew what not to do. Keeping to his room for the rest of the day Neal put his pillow over his face as other patients repeatedly dropped by his room to meet Neal.
By dinner time Neal ignored the knock on his door and the repeated invitations to join everyone to eat; instead he stared at the wall as he mentally scribbled another plan down of how to escape the ward. He discovered that escaping the ward would be harder than actually escaping the building. Neal got out of bed, ignoring the grumbling of his stomach and peeked out of his room to make sure no one was around while he walked around using his slight-of-hand skills to collect paperclips, lost hairpins and such from the day room while continuing to count steps figuring out how long it would take him to get from his room to the day room in a run and get the locks picked with the correct tools. It's too long with these makeshift tools, if I just had my lock set… of course I'll never get my hands on one here... then again a place like this is just a prison of the mind which means anything can get in… Neal thought with a smirk as he made sure he was in a blind spot as a nurse walked by him and lifted her cell from her pocket with ease. Stashing it quickly in his pocket he dropped himself in a chair to feign like he had been there the whole time.
Up to his old tricks Neal felt a rush of endorphins that the pills used to give him and enjoyed the small high as he let out a deep sigh and opened his eyes. Once he came down from his short lived high Neal decided to wander as far as the locked doors allowed. Walking down the long hall past all the doors to the nurse's station he looked around for anything he could swipe without being caught. Getting the lay of the land from what he could see of the nurse's station Neal knew that waltzing out the doors like he did it prison would be at least fifty times harder than last time and that had taken months of planning.
"Oh hello there, you must be our new guest… why aren't you at dinner with the others?" the nurse running the station asked as she came from the back room. Neal just shook his head Neal just shook his head "I'm not hungry, I've tasted prison food and this is probably no better. I was wondering if I could make a phone call please…" Neal pleaded giving his best innocent puppy pout that he was perfecting to get Peter to do anything for him. Looking around the nurse waved Neal behind the desk. "One call that's it or it could be my head," she said prepping the phone for an outgoing call Neal grabbed the phone and dialed the one cell phone he knew Alex always answered. "Alex it's me… listen I need a favor from you… but you're not going to like it…do you remember Prague seven years ago…it's like that but um not a prison… and it's me this time not you," Neal said being vague hoping she would understand. Huffing in annoyance Alex figured it out right away. "I'll be there in a couple days, I also have something to tell you, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon at the earliest," She said getting Neal's location quickly before hanging up.
Smiling at the nurse Neal grabbed a blank sheet of paper and quickly folded a paper flower for her. "For helping me out," he said with a false charming smile before heading back to his room arriving just as the others came back to the ward. Neal went to his room and closed the door before deciding to turn in early hoping that he wouldn't have to spend more than one more day there. Grabbing his pictures he stuffed them back into his bag and stripped down to just his boxers and crawled under the cheap itchy sheets.
Waking up on the uncomfortable cot of a bed Neal got out of bed just as Becky barged in. "Get dressed sleepy head…we've got group therapy in twenty minutes…" she said with a smile. Neal just gawked a bit "You're lucky I decided to wear boxers to bed last night. That usually isn't the case when I'm at home since my husband likes it that way for very obvious reasons," Neal said with a devilish smirk causing the young coordinator to turn red and rush out of the room. After dressing in a pair of his pants and a dark tee shirt Neal left his room to follow a group off the ward and slipped away as soon as he got a chance. As Neal walked around the facility he swiped a white coat off a chair and slipped it on pushing his hair back as he walked down the hall.
While he was getting more of a lay of the building Neal knew he was running out of time before someone realized he wasn't a real doctor and turn him in. As soon as he was able Neal shed the coat and returned to his room. He used the stairwell and blind spots to accomplish this and found Alex sitting on his bed. "Hey there, been a while… and I believe you wanted this?" She asked holding up a lock pick set Neal had loaned her to get out of a prison in Prague before she was sentenced. Grabbing the set Neal hid it carefully in his bag which he kept under his bed and gave his friend a hug. "It's really good to see you again; on the phone you said you had something to tell me…what is it?" Neal asked closing the door and sitting next to her on the bed.
"While I was working on a job in Aspen Mozzie called me to check something out… I found Vincent; he's living in Aspen under the name Vincent Clarkson. He has two small newborns with him… Neal you should get a call to Peter and tell him," Alex said moving over and putting a hand on Neal's shoulder. "No…this is my fight I need to do this myself, you should get out of here before someone spots you in here and be careful Alex I'll see you soon I hope," Neal said as he watched his friend leave.