The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows…
A/N- Attention Reader: WARNING! If you watch ICarly (like I do) yes I'm an immature adult… you shall never be able to watch the show the same again… (trust me… I can't watch one episode without the memory of sexual acts between Freddie and Sam… {Seddie for life} I used to be able to watch it like the adult I was… now… its sooooooo awkward!) Sorry if the storyline is off and/or non-understandable… I don't write a story outline before I begin (the outline and chapters sort of mirror the chorus of the song, The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows by Brand New)… but this story was more like a try-out… and it's also my first ever fanfic… so it's a test of your wants and desires…
It will be rated M for future chapters… Although I have no true outline for this, I know I will be adding a Seddie lemon because I mean seriously who doesn't want that…
Chapter One- "Keep the blood in your head…"
I sat. Hating the charade I had created, I sat. In this classroom where math was taught. I looked at that board that stood in front of me and began to see shapes. Shapes that turned into people, people that created an event. An event that explained the reason I was angry in this classroom. The boy drawing was kneeling and confessing his love to the girl drawing. Then, the girl drawing jumped forward grabbing the boy drawing and proceeded to make out with him. It was in my mind so often, I was barely able to hear anyone else, especially my best friends. But now, that event that festered in my mind, caused me to fluster in my seat. My friends would always know when something bothered me. One would hellishly make fun of me, while the other would comfort me heavenly and say that it was alright. You can guess which I liked to hear to cheer me up. I began to tap the desk trying to remember a song I once heard long ago.
*tap*tap*tap*
"I lie for only you, and I lie well… Hallejuh…" I sang whispering ever so silently
I thought I was the only one who knew this song. But when I started to hear the person behind me start to hum it along with my taps, I was obviously struck with surprise when I heard her. As I listened, my mind began to wander, and I looked back up at the board ahead of me. Now, the boy drawing was jumping at the girl drawing and making out with her on the floor. I was surprised by this because usually the girl drawing would basically dominate the boy drawing. I had nothing against the girl asserting herself in my romantic thoughts, it was just weird to see the boy dominate because that is a little out of character for the boy drawing, as well as the girl drawing. But it wasn't long before my boy dominating thought corrected itself, the girl rolled over and was now the "male" of the relationship.
"That's better…" I whispered through my smile hoping no one would hear.
I didn't even notice that the girl behind me was still humming my song. Her head was lying on the desk and she was fast asleep, her right arm hanging over the front and her left over the side. I smirked at the little blond girl that just lay there drooling on the desk. Her hair was crazy and wavy with little brunette streaks all over. She was wearing a black and goldish striped long sleeve shirt with white Capri pants. She looked really cute in it, but I'd never let her know that, because she would severely beat two shades of shit out of me if she did. The girl that sat next to her was a straight haired brunette that sat attentively in class. She wore a white long sleeve shirt, with a v-neck black vest that v'd under her B chest. She was wearing jeans that sparkled because she dropped a tube of sparkles on her pants, and it never really could come out. She washed them for hours just trying to get them out. Then after five hours of intense scrubbing and washing and drying, she gave up which she hated to do and just accepted it, I digress. It was pretty normal for her to sit straight in this class, she always seemed to get good grades while the girl behind me always and I mean always got F's. How she managed to get to the grade we were in now was beyond me. As soon as class was over, it was the end of school and all three of us headed to our lockers. As soon as the blonde got in her locker, she grabbed the fat cake and munched hurriedly.
'That girl could always eat something.' The thought made laugh.
"Tonight, we have to upload a video for our viewers." She said barely able to talk with that fat cake stuffed in her mouth. I couldn't help but smile as she tried to talk with her mouth stuffed looking like a blowfish.
Everything about this girl made me go crazy, in both ways. Yes, this girl that ate like a garbage disposal and sleeps in class was the girl that would make fun of me if I told her anything. She would fight me non-stop about me being a dork or just random things that were completely pointless. But even though she makes me go crazy enough that I have a desire to kill her (A/N- attempt at a joke),
I'm desperately in love with her, though I'll never admit it to anyone.
I'd like to keep my face the way it is, if you don't mind. So I'll go on acting like I have for the past few years… faking an obsession for our little brunette friend, but that obsession is truly for my blond dominator.
"So when are you gunna be over, tech weirdo?" the blond crudely asked me.
We were walking to our apartment building when she asked; we were barely a block or two from the building. I kept my hands in my pockets and stared at the floor, still the thought of the boy being attacked by the girl that leads to a long and intimate make out session controlled my mind. I started to see little figures run around my legs, a girl was running after a boy and they were encircling my legs in a figure eight. She asked again, this time I broke the figure eight by straightening my stance causing the figure eight to turn into a circle. The boy was trapped by my closing legs and the girl pounced on him. The boy fought for dominance, but he kind of gave up when she kissed him.
She asked again, backslapping my head. "Hello! Dorkazoid! When are you gonna come over for the web cast?"
"Oh what, I'm sorry I was just thinking… I'll be over about half an hour after I get home; I have to fix the TV to spin out faster then I have to…" My voice began to trail off as I could see she had no interest in my words past the amount of time I gave her.
She started to fake snore to show her disinterest. I stopped talking after a few seconds and stayed silent the rest of the way home. I turned around and began to walk backwards as I stared at the two figures I dreamt up going at it on the walkway. Suddenly, I felt as if I was falling.
The blond had apparently taken the chance that I wasn't looking and tripped me. The brunette yelled at the blond for doing that, but I pretty much had no care that she did so. In fact, the fact that she was mean to me was actually a turn on for me. As the blond got the third degree from her best friend, I told the brunette that it was fine and I wasn't hurt. I tried to play it off as my fault for not looking where I was going, but the blond would have none of me sticking up for her.
"Look, I don't need any help, especially from a dork like you." She yelled at me with her finger in my face.
I backed away a bit. She stormed off ahead of me cursing. The brunette that we walked with ran after her, after she had learned that I was completely fine. As I watched her run ahead, I stood staring at her girly run. I looked to my right and found a small little park. I found a bench and sat, staring ahead of me. It had, by far, the best view of the clouds and sunset I had ever seen. I dropped my backpack next to my leg, and rummaged through it to find my notepad. I looked in the back at the cardboard that was attached to the booklet. I stared at the name I etched into it.
If you wanted to know why on the cardboard, it's because it couldn't be thrown away easily. It would be a permanent reminder of my love, for all. If someone ever saw this, they'd know who I have loved for these past few years. If they found it, I think I would have no choice but to tell them the truth, for they would have deserved to know…
That I, Fredward T Benson, was in love with the one and only,
Samantha M Puckett.
No matter how I faked my obsession for Carly, the truth was I was desperately in love with Sam. She tested me everyday to the craziest extent, and each day I would grow more in love with her. It is the fact that she bullied me in particular that got me the most. And remembering our kiss on the fire escape was just a little icing on the cake. That kiss was wet, and pretty embarrassing. Nothing about it was romantic, well except the lead up to it. It was out of character for her to even be nice to me after she publicly humiliated me in front of a million viewers. But I can remember her just sitting on that window sill staring at the night stars. It was in that perfect silent moment, that she got it in her head that she and I should kiss. I thought it would be just a joke like always, so I prepared myself for a beating that never came. As she asserted her dominance for me to begin, I fought the urge to hold her head in that kiss. Our tongues didn't fight for control, the heat from her breath didn't hit me like a ton of bricks, and the relationship we had never changed.
The kiss was nothing more than a long peck on the lips, but I did want more,
so much more.
I wanted her mouth to invite me in, her tongue to show me why she fought me for all these years, and her hands to show me what her body could not. But it never happened and
I do not think it ever will…
SPOV
A dream is supposed to mean nothing right? It's supposed to leave you after a couple minutes, right? Why was this one sticking with me, then? I couldn't escape it. It angered me that I even dreamt it in the first place. But for some reason I was not as angry as I thought I should. I think I'm sort of forcing myself to be angry. I was dreaming in class, it started out normal, and then it got weird.
It was me, Carly, and Fredly just doing ICarly. Then about halfway through Freddie made a joke about me. So being angry I picked up the fire extinguisher on the wall and sprayed him with it. Then he fell back and his camera flew through the air. Carly ran over to him, but he didn't want to talk to her. Carly told me, he asked to talk to me. I walked over nonchalantly and bent to my knees. Then Freddie was gone. In fact, the entire studio was gone and I was just sitting in a black room, alone. That was until the black room changed into a very organized bed room. I got up after sitting in the black room holding my legs to my chest, and walked toward the desk which was filled with papers. I looked around and found a picture frame. I picked it up for a moment and after my eyes adjusted to it, I dropped it. It was a picture of me, and only me, with a heart in the bottom left corner. I looked around till' I found the door. I was about to open it, when the person on the other side opened it first. It opened to reveal Freddie; he walked in as I backed away. He quickly closed the door as I fell on his bed. In mere seconds, Freddie jumped on top of me holding my wrists on the sides of my head. He immediately, and without wait, kissed me; his tongue dancing in my mouth. I was about to feel violated, when something in me told me that I was enjoying myself. I didn't notice that his hands had let go of my wrists, and that my arms were around his neck. I was holding him close to me. After a couple of seconds, a song came from nowhere, a song I had listened to so much that I knew the words. When out of nowhere, Freddie broke our kiss, and he got up and left the room. I yelled for him to come back, stretching my hand toward the door, but he was gone, so was the room.
I popped up off the desk I was laying on and both my arms were still asleep. As I looked ahead of myself, I saw Freddie's spiky hair and light blue shirt looking ahead of me. I looked at Carly, who was sitting next to me, and thought that she looked like she was such a smart girl.
A hint of pina colada was wafting through the air. I examined with my nose and had learned that it was in fact coming from Fredork.
'Carly, must have smeared her lip balm on him again. I have to remember to make fun of him for that later.' I thought to myself with a little smirk covering my lips. After a few seconds, the thought of him kissing me came back to my mind again. I put my head in my hands trying to make sense of the stupid dream I had. It was angering me to no end that in my dream, I was enjoying being overpowered by the nub that sat in front of me.
My stomach yelled for food, but I didn't have anything to give it. I looked ahead of me and using my stealthy skills of opening backpacks, I opened Freddie's backpack looking for food. After finding nothing at all, I decided why not find something to lure over him later. As I reached in his bag, I grabbed the only thing that he had, a little notebook. I pulled it out and looked through the pages. Not a single chicken scratch was written on any page. I thought to myself, 'Why would he have an empty damn notebook…?' I was just about to put it back when something caught my eye. It was something etched into the cardboard. It was a little obsessive because he outlined and starred it. He etched into his only notebook on the cardboard, 'I love SP.' I looked at it for just a few seconds, then closed it and put it back into his backpack. I zippered it back up and sat back.
…...
…...
…...
…...
…..
….
'Who's SP?' I thought. (A/N- yes, her deduction skills SUCK)
I put my thinking face on and looked around the room. 'Who is SP?'
When the bell rang I was still curious who in the hell SP was. I knew I didn't want to ask Fred-obsessed about it, like he'd ever tell… Even with my "questionable" motives of getting him to answer. As my stomach yelled louder than before, I ran to my locker. I tried to open it, but the combo wouldn't work. I got out my trusty car door opener and decided to use it to open my locker. When I got it open, I threw all the books to the floor and tried to find momma's fat cake. When I couldn't find it, I stepped back. Gibby came over and asked angrily,
"What are you doing to my locker?" I looked at it and saw a picture of Gibby and his sexy girlfriend, Tasha. I looked back at him and laughed a bit.
"This is the second time you've done this, Jesus Christ…!" Gibby angrily spoke.
"Calm down Gibby, at least I didn't break the door off like last time."
As he angrily walked away, I moved one locker to the left and put in my locker combo. Momma's fat cake was sitting on its pedestal for my enjoyment. As I opened the package, I stuffed both into my mouth. 'MMMMMM, Momma loves her fat cakes…' I thought as my eyes closed savoring the flavors.
When Carly and Fredward came over, I quickly told Carly with my face still stuffed, "Tonight, we have to upload a video for our viewers."
Carly nodded as if to say, 'of course,' while Freddie was trying to hold back laughter. I was about to beat him with my handy dandy car door opener (A/N- yes, a blues clues reference), when the dream of kissing him came back to my mind. I nearly fell onto my locker when it came to mind. As I gulped down the fat cake, I began to think about the dream, forcing my anger to come out from my gritted teeth.
As we left the school and started walking to Carly and Fredork's apartment, I was just replaying that damnded dream over and over. It got me so angry. I hid it way too well for Carly not to ask about it. As I talked with Carly about tonight's ICarly webisode, we were wondering when we should start. I asked Freddie, myself.
"So when are you gunna be over, tech weirdo?" I asked still trying to hide my anger.
He still looked at the ground, staring off into space. I asked again, getting angrier. He stopped in his tracks. I back slapped him across the head and yelled, nearly unable to control my anger.
"Hello! Dorkazoid! When are you gonna come over for the web cast?" This time he heard me.
"Oh what, I'm sorry I was just thinking… I'll be over about half an hour after I get home…"
After I got my answer, I began to fake-snore at anything else he said. We started walking again, after a few seconds I learned that he was looking at something behind us, but not a thing was there. I smiled evilly. I tiptoed over to him and stuck my foot out ahead of him. As he fell, I couldn't help but laugh. But something in the back f my head said that I shouldn't have done that. The flash of the kiss again hit my mind like 8 tons of pure intimacy.
'I hate intimacy.'
As Carly yelled at me for tripping him, Freddie got up and told her that it wasn't my fault and he shoulda looked where he was going. I had it, I was already angry that I was thinking of him dominating me, and now he was protecting me from the wrath of Carly, oooohh HELL NO!...
"Look, I don't need any help, especially from a dork like you." I pointed a finger in his face, I just needed an outlet for my frustrations, and since he was the one who was closest to me I thought it might as well be him. I think my sentence was more to try and get myself to believe he was nothing more than a dork, a tech weirdo, a nub, a sweet guy, a sexy guy… The words of feeling for this guy hit my head. I couldn't handle it and I stormed off without looking back. 'Get outta my damn head Freddie; you're not supposed to be in there.'
Carly ran up to me and began to yell at me. "What was that all about? That was pretty mean Sam, even for you. Saying that to Freddie! What's your deal lately, you've been mean to him a little more than usual. You're acting a little strange." I looked at her for a few seconds.
"I need to tell you something Carls…"
"Sure anything…" she said a little chipperly.
"But not now; later..." I said whispering. Carly always knew how to comfort me; how to keep me straight, even if the line did askew every once in awhile.
As we entered the apartment building, Lewbert yelled at us, "Why are there people in my lobby? AAAHHHHH!" He seemed to do this every time a person came into the building, whether they lived here or not. I didn't much care; he was pretty much the butt of one our ICarly jokes, 'Messin with Lewbert.' As we reached the top of the stairs and walked down the hallway to Carly's door I opened it first. Spencer was in the middle of one of his questionable "projects."
"So whatcha makin, Spence?" I asked without care of his answer.
"A spoof of Auguste Rodin's masterpiece, THE KISS! But instead of the guy holding the girl, it's the girl holding the guy… It will be FANTASTIC!" He laughed maniacally when his explanation was over.
Carly looked at it and said, "Isn't that against the law?"
"No and I should know. I went to Law school." Spencer said, a little too proud of himself.
"You went for three days." Carly said as she threw him from his high pedestal.
"Three days longer than you." Spencer said as he stuck his tongue at Carly.
"Sam, we got to check, what skits we're gonna do for ICarly. Come on!" Carly demanded
"Yeah! One sec, I need to get something to eat." I lied.
As Carly nodded and ran upstairs, I walked over to Spencer's statue. I was disgusted and nearly mortified, but for some reason I didn't see a faceless statue. What I saw was me and Freddie. "GOD! Damn…" I tried to keep my emotions secret, but when I saw me and Fredwierd in that statue, I just could not handle it anymore.
"See something, Sam? Something, that reminds you of something else? I made this, especially because of your personality." Spencer said, as he shaped the clay figures.
"I don't see anything, and I don't want to see anything." I tried to get off the subject. But, Spencer was like Carly. He was like family. Carly was a sis and Spencer was an older brother. Spencer always knew when something bothered me and I could tell him the secrets I knew Carly would just never understand or have biased to.
"Come on, kiddo! I know that you know that I know when something's up, you know?" He stopped and stared at the ceiling for a couple a seconds, probably thinking if what he said was even understandable. He stopped staring then nodded as if to answer a question in his head.
When I sat down on the couch, I told him that I didn't want to talk about it. He jumped over the couch and stood sat on one of the cushions. He then proceeded to poke me in the arm until I told him. Seeing how this was his most annoying tactic, I decided why not.
I told him EVERYTHING. From the dominating kiss dream, to finding the book in Freddie's bag. As I told him this, I made sure that the front door was locked and Carly was out of earshot.
When I finished, I looked into his far off eyes as he stared at the ceiling again.
Just then, he opened his mouth. "So did you figure out who SP was?" (A/N- yes he is also just as clueless)
I shook my head as he looked at the floor.
"Well from what you're telling me, it seems that there is one thing you just don't want to admit to yourself?" Spencer said smiling.
"What's that?" I eagerly moved closer to hear.
"You have feelings for Freddie. That's why you dreamt of him kissing you. That's why you looked into his book bag for things to hold over him. That's why you yelled at him for being nice to you. And that's why you are so hung up on this SP person."
PSSH! "No. No way. Then why was I being dominated." I asked curious about the dream I had.
"Well that's easy. You dominate others, so it's understandable that your deepest desire is to be dominated by the one person you dominate most. It's like you wanting them to get back at you for the bad stuff you did. The punishment being, passion." Spencer said, acting like a shrink. If he had a mirchon pipe, he'd probably be smoking it, just so he can be like Sigmund Fuckin Freud.
I tried to argue, I tried to deny. But no matter what I said, I couldn't help but believe he was right.
I may make fun of him every second I get, but the truth of the matter is…
I, Samantha M Puckett,
am in love with
Freddie T Benson.
A/N- Sorry for all the little author's notes in the middle of the story… but I think I put those there to emphasize comedy or to show that it is a joke… I may not have an outline for the story, but I do have goals for it… so even though there is not an outline, I know where I'm gunna take this…
If you like the story, Reviews will work…
Even if you hate the story, still review…
I need some criticism… I'm kinda lonely without it…
Don't leave me without a review…
I'm a better lemon writer than a normal story writer mostly because I've had a little more practice lately with lemons than normal stories (I'm not a pervert)…
If my jokes suck… it's understandable, I've got a dry sense of humor according to my last teacher…
I'll be posting a chapter a week…
Until the chorus of the song is done…
But I need those reviews, its pointless without them…