I KNOW I haven't been finishing my stories BUT I have this one finished as of today and I WILL post it all!

This story is about ten chapters, so it's not that long. BUT this is a 'darker' fic and it does get more intense.

ECLARE WILL SURVIVE!

Enjoy :)

Chapter 1: All That I Am

NOTE: Clare has long hair in this; her hair during ninth grade.

Her. The one that sits next to Eli as she twirls a piece of his hair in between her index finger and thumb. That's the one person I'm jealous of.

I don't have anyone. My brain doesn't want to function. The worst happens to the best of us; there's no better damn quote than that.

I know he's not in love. The look in his eyes makes it distinct that he wants nothing more than to be away from Imogen Moreno as she drowns him with her boring stories. He smiles to show me that he sees me watching. He wants me to live in misery.

He has every right to. I was the one who dumped him; he deserves happiness.

I'm an ugly girl. I'll die alone. I know that Jake won't be in my life forever; he'll find someone better.

All my other exes have.

School seems to be double the time it used to be. No more real smiles, no more jokes; just fake smiles I give to Adam and Jake to reassure them… and myself.

I open my front door. My parents aren't going to be home for a few days; I already know it. The promises they make are always broken; I'm always home alone. I wanted this—so that I could be with Eli more. We had a future; we had plans after high school.

"Boo!" Jake slightly pokes at my shoulders from behind me, making me jump in fear.

"Oh my God," I loudly exclaim, trying to calm myself down. "Were you following me home?"

Jake shrugged, a small smile forming on his lips. "Maybe," he says with a raising tone. I roll my eyes as I release my fake smile. "I thought you might want company" He replies.

I sigh deeply. I don't want to have company right now, but I know that that'll blow my cover. "Right on the target." I sarcastically mutter.

My parents love Jake; at least, as much as they know about him. If they knew the other half of him…

They'd love Eli to no end.

Jake came over frequently when they weren't over; it was like he was part of the family. He wouldn't wait outside for me to invite him in; he'd make himself at home until he heard a car come up to the front of the house. Then before I know it, he's out the back door.

A pair of hands reaches my waist, and his lips meet the side of my neck. This wasn't comfortable at all; the awkwardness was all over the room. "What do you say we try something new today?" He asks, continuing to kiss my neck.

I hesitantly remove his hands from my waist, but his grip becomes tighter. I let out a breath of pain before I turn my head to look at him. "Not right now Jake," I murmur, sounding defeated. "Please. My parents will be home any minute."

My head shoots forward and I hear Jake chuckle. "Trust me babe," He adds, tucking a curl behind my ear. "I know they're not coming. We both know that." My breathing hitches as I understand what he's saying. "I've been making sure that you're safe—being a good boyfriend, I like to think of it as. I try my best to make sure that your parents will be there when I'm gone, but I end up staying in my car the whole night. And I'm tired of it."

"That's why you're always here early." I whisper, feeling his hot breath roll down my neck.

I know I'm in some deep shit by now. I've never had a… stalker. At least I don't think I've had one.

I have to keep my cool until I can get a plan formed in my mind, but I can't seem to think clearly already.

Picking me up, he kisses me on the lips angrily as if he can't get enough. My back becomes pinned against the wall as I attempt to push him off of me.

"Stop Jake." I say, loud enough for him to hear. I get no reply. "Stop!" I yell, my actions becoming frantic. Jake puts a hand over my mouth and my eyes grow.

"Stop yelling," he whispers in my ear. "You'll love it."

…

I'm even more broken than I thought I could be.

No one's going to come looking for me, strewn across my bed, my cheeks stained from my constant outbreaks. The silence I wanted when I got home was finally here…

I have nothing. No one cares. The people who I thought did turned out to be liars. Adam was always with Eli nowadays. Every book has the wrong cover.

I screwed up. I chose the wrong decision and got stuck with a rapist who didn't let me leave. Constant warnings came my way about the secret I couldn't tell anyone about.

I sluggishly crawl to my closet, and the pain is still there. The pain he promised would go away. My faith was now broken. There is no God; there never was. I grab my old, dirty backpack and use all the force I have to get it out from underneath all of my extra blankets.

The backpack looks like a purse in a way; if anyone sees me, they won't know it's the last time they'll see Clare Edwards. I grab clothing, necklaces, headphones…

I find my mother's secret money pile in her sock drawer; a few hundred that I could live off of for a few days. I take the old credit card which she believes is "the Devil", and never bothers to look at the bills for.

A smile lightly caressed my cheeks. I'm going to get away with this.

I'm going to run away.

…

The Dot looks at me in a sincere way, saying its last goodbye. I smile at the newly built building, knowing that this is a good thing. No one would expect such a thing.

I ride my bike to Adam's house. I wrote a letter to everyone that I thought would need an informal goodbye; two in all. I tape the paper to the front door and run as fast as I can back to my bike. No one can see me; I can't take my time. I just have to go to Eli's house and give him his note…

Or should I send it? I don't want him to see me on any term, but I know that I have to. It's the last thing of my pride that I have; it's what should be given to him by person, not by a non-caring mailman who could lose it.

I run faster than I did at Adam's house to the door, not bothering to park my bike. There's a lot of noise coming from inside the house, but I still work quickly. I jump over the stairs and run towards my bike, falling on something I hadn't seen.

Another bike lay on the lawn, and I can tell that it's hers…

They're spending more time together. The thought brings me to tears. I knew this was a bad idea; mailing it would've been less painful.

I reach the end of his property when I hear, "I can't deal with you right now! Just leave." I pedal faster than I did before—had he seen me?

It didn't matter; he made it clear that he hated me.

…

"Just leave." I plead to Imogen. She has the look in her eyes that makes it look like she's crying, but I know it's an act. It always is with her.

"B—but why can't you t—talk about this with m—me?" She shakily asks, trying to get me to cave. I roll my eyes at her.

"Goodbye Imogen," I murmur, waving her out of the house. She doesn't have the decency to even keep her bike standing; instead, it lay lazily on the lawn.

Something hits my face as I'm about to close the door; a piece of paper?

"What the hell…" I murmur to myself, yanking it off. Imogen just doesn't know when to quit!

I crumple the letter in my hands and toss it into the trash. Damn stalker that woman is. Bullfrog watches me shoot it into the trash can with a curious expression.

"Imogen." I respond to the unasked question.

Bullfrog returns his sympathy with a small smile, feeling the same about her as I do. "She'll stop soon enough, just keep strong." He adds, and I roll my eyes.

She's never going to stop trying.

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