Disclaimer : I don't own StarTrek unfortunately.
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I can sense that something isn't quite right, the atmosphere is uncomfortable and Spock seems to be avoiding me at every given opportunity. Not even raising his Vulcan eyebrow quizzically when I ask a question. This troubles me as I know Spock would normally indicate if there was a problem. Other people would just tell me that it's what you'd expect from a Vulcan, that they can appear cold-hearted but I know Spock better than most people on this ship and I know something is wrong.
Even though we sit in close proximity on the bridge, Spock hardly says more than a quick acknowledgment of my presence as I begin my daily shift. The last few days have been utterly unbearable. What could I have done that has offended Spock so badly? Surely he would have mentioned something if I had. As I run my fingers through my newly washed hair, I check my communication padd for any messages. There only one that awaits me is from McCoy.
Uhura, how are you feeling? I hope you don't mind me being frank but you didn't seem yourself earlier. The message showed concern which lightened my mood momentarily.
I'm just feeling low at the moment.....does Spock seem distant to you lately? I type, my stomach churning as I haven't been able to bring myself to eat anything. The worry is making me feel physically sick.
I haven't really had chance to speak to him but I know Jim mentioned that Spock hasn't been getting much sleep the last few days. Have you two fallen out?
Not that I know of Bones, he just seems to be avoiding me lately.
You seemed a little shaky earlier, have you been eating? I wouldn't let Spock stress you out. He's probably just in one of his moods.
I hesitate before responding, knowing that if I tell him the truth I would only receive a lecture on the substantial need of food and the effects to the body if it does not obtain the correct amount of nutrients.
Yes, I've just been eating in my quarters while I review a few reports. I deceive him hoping he won't ask any further questions.
Okay Uhura. I hope you two sort out whatever problem you have as a sleepless Vulcan can be hell more of a pain in the derrière than normal! Bones replied.
"Thank you for checking up on me, see you tomorrow." As our correspondence ends, I walk over to the replicator but cannot decide what to order, I find my lack of appetite increased so I choose a simple mug of Earl Grey tea. I find myself torn between searching for Spock and confronting him or letting him search me out in his own time. But the decision seems to be made for me as I hear a chime emanate from the door.
I straighten my outfit and answer the door with a false smile, hoping to deceive the caller of any distress.
"Lieutenant" Spock greets me civilly as the door slides open. I find him standing before me with his hands clasped in their usual manner behind his back.
Something is definitely wrong; Spock never greets me using my rank when we talk in private. I panic as I invite him into my quarters.
"We need to talk" he continues as he walks straight to the window, his hands now clenched to his sides.
"We do indeed Spock; you seem to be avoiding me lately." I speak, my voice seems strained.
"I have not avoided you Lieutenant. I acknowledged your presence on the bridge and as you are fully aware we do work in close proximity." Spock replies, looking directly into my eyes.
I wonder whether to retaliate in a sarcastic manner and if it would hurt his 'cold hearted' feelings. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth as the old earth saying goes. But no, I will not lower myself to that level.
"I wasn't just talking about on duty Spock; you haven't been returning my messages or answering your door when I've visited. What is going on Spock?" I respond, colour rising to my cheeks.
Spock holds my gaze, his eyes softening slightly. "I needed time to re-evaluate"
"Re-evaluate what?" I demand, not understanding where Spock is leading me.
"To re-evaluate our current relationship Nyota. I've considered every logical and illogical stance and believe you would be more suited....more compatible with one of your own kind. I do not fully believe I can bring you complete happiness and fulfilment."
I stand before him in utter disbelief; surely I hadn't heard him correctly.
"I don't believe you Spock, who's set you up to do this? Is it Jim?" I ask, my legs shake slightly.
Spock raises his eyebrow. "I can assure you that Jim has had no involvement in this matter" he speaks with no hint of the slightest compassion.
"You're being serious aren't you?" I question, hoping this was all just a misunderstanding. He doesn't respond and turns to face the window again. To be truthful, I cannot bring myself to look at him so I turn my back to him.
"Nyota, I can't give you happiness. It is not logical that you could ever be happy with someone who has to suppress their feelings, who cannot express their true feelings."
My eyes are damp with tears, I wipe them away with the back of my hand. No, I will not let him see me cry.
"How dare you stand there and tell me how I should feel and who I should be with! I am happy......I'm happy being with you, can't you honestly see that? Are you so blind to my love for you Spock? Do you not know how I feel about you?" I'm suddenly aware that I am no long alone sitting on the bed. I feel the warmth of his hand on my shoulder.
"Nyota..."
"Listen to me" I whisper as I turn to face him. I cup his face in my hands, making his dark eyes lock onto mine. "I have never felt happier than the last two years I have spent with you, Spock. If you don't believe me then why do you think I was so eager to attend your classes and accept your offer for extra tuition on Vulcan and Romulan Linguistics when I could have been drinking the nights away with Gaila? Sure I had genuine interest in linguistics but I also had a genuine interest in you. Of course I had attention from human males at the Academy, even Jim Kirk but none of them could have possibly made me feel the way you have. I don't want to be one night stand in the hands of childish men, I want you...I want to be with you because of who you are Spock."
I close my eyes, unsure of what response to expect from the Vulcan that sits before me. A few seconds pass until I feel Spock's forehead touch mine.
"As a child, I often witnessed my mother's expression of endearment towards my father fall unrequited. I simply do not wish that to befall you too." Spock spoke carefully.
"I just need you to understand that I accept your Vulcan traditions and I always will, No matter how Vulcan you are, don't forget you are still your mother's son, I don't need you to tell me that you love me, I already know - I can see it in your eyes."
As I look at Spock, I can just about make out the faint hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth.
"Am I correct to think that we are resuming our relationship?" I question as I affectionately stoke his cheek.
"Yes, I would also conclude that to be the case, Nyota. Would you care to accompany me to the mess hall? , I observe from the noises your stomach is making that your haven't eaten in a while." Spock responds matter-of-factly.
"Yes, only if you're paying" I purr as we leave my quarters and head for the lift.