This is for my friend, who had a bad day because of a Facebook creeper! XD
Hope this makes ya laugh, Catherine!
Jocelyn the curly haired warrior princess was traveling with her friends, Aragorn and Kalyn. They had decided to take a hike through the newly renovated Moria, since the dwarves had driven out all the bad orcs and made it quite a popular tourist destination.
Aragorn and Kalyn had brought along their pet, Rafael Nadal, who they'd adopted after the whole Prince Caspian fiasco.
They decided to stop and open up their picnic basket and eat lunch and it was delicious and it was full of nutritional things and good tasting too.
"Snagga lickle ganna mana didik mal?" Nadal asked, tugging at his leash.
"No, Rafa." Aragorn said with a light chuckle. "We can't go down that tunnel over there. It might be dangerous."
Rafa whined and began to nervously lick his paws.
"It's a good thing I'm a curly headed warrior princess." Jocelyn said, and bit down on a green apple. Unfortunately, it made her jaw pop.
"Ow!" she shrieked like a little schoolgirl.
"Need a hand, milady?" A voice from out of nowhere came.
Suddenly, an ogre walked into their picnic, trying to look cool in a white tank top ala Marlon Brando. It however, only made him look ridiculous.
"Don't I know you from Facebook?"
"No, I don't think so." Jocelyn said, a little annoyed and creeped out.
They were interrupted by Aragorn and Kalyn, who were snuggling and talking sweetly to each other in Elvish. Because Kalyn's just that beautiful.
"Mela en' coiamin." Aragorn murmured.
"Melamin." Kalyn replied.
"Vanimle sila tiri." Aragorn said.
"Gosh, guys, get a freaking room!" Jocelyn said.
"Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina." Kalyn said icily.
"Amin feuya ten' lle." Aragorn said to Jocelyn.
"Fraggle tamma retty ivcdfghj glrpop?" Nadal asked.
"No, Nadal, you may not have another cookie." Kalyn said. "And quit chewing on your leash, for Heaven's sake! It cost good money!"
The ogre, now bored with Kalyn, Aragorn, and Nadal, turned his attention on Jocelyn. Normally, he would have hit on Kalyn since she was the most beautiful, awesome, talented person in all of Middle-Earth, but he wasn't about to cross Aragorn and his mad skills. His sword could kill dead people, for crying out loud!
He had to settle for the curly headed warrior princess, Jocelyn.
He smiled cheekily, trying to be charming.
"Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see."
"Wait! I'm a ten!" Kalyn protested.
"No, my love." Aragorn said. "You're a 5 million."
"Guys, this is really nice and all, but I need help getting rid of this creeper!"
The ogre chuckled.
"Even though you just called me a name, I can tell that you dig me. Wanna make out?"
"No! Why would I?"
"Cause I'm hot. Hot spelled with an 'a' and a 'w'. Hawt. That's like, the highest level of hotness."
"You're a freaking ginger!" she said, appalled.
"Ginger?" the ogre said, confused.
Nadal stood up, pulled out a dictionary. He cleared his throat.
"Ginger: n. A person with a fair complexion, freckles, and red hair. Southpark says they're bad. Especially when they stalk you on Facebook."
"Wow, Nadal." Jocelyn said, dumbfounded. "Your English is getting better."
"Hegdan nio shacka bng!" he exclaimed.
"You're welcome for the compliment," Jocelyn said, defeated. "But I guess your triumph was short-lived."
"So, wanna mate?" The ogre asked.
"Excuse me?"
"Wanna date?" he said, grinning a gingerish smile. "I can borrow my dad's car. We could go to, like, Wendy's or something. Wear something short and tight, by the way. Cause that's how I roll."
Jocelyn rolled her eyes, and unsheathed her mighty warrior princess sword.
"Whoever said Facebook needed a dislike button?" she said, and carefully sheathed it in his anemic abdomen.
The end! Please review!