'How can someone like me hope to find someone to care for?'

My name is Kaea, and there's nothing good about me whatsoever. I come from a very horrible background, and there's nothing likeable about my personality. So it's a good thing you don't know me at all. But there is someone who does.

He's really very kind and sweet and pure…something that is polar opposite me. He listens and doesn't act like his usual ditzy self, though I like it when he tries to talk while flustered. He seems very naïve about things, and has an inferiority complex about himself sometimes. Don't tell anyone, but I think Touta Matsuda is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I sometimes wish he'd like me the way I like him. Wishful thinking, huh?

Anyway, I'm not working on the Kira case, but I'm usually at Headquarters whenever I'm not somewhere that I need to be, all because Misa Amane thinks I'm her friend or something. She's too much of an airhead to see that I glare daggers at her. Matsuda's infatuated with her, and he acts like such a child. But I'm dragging things out, aren't I? Let's get going, shall we?

"Come on, Misa-Misa! We have to get to your photo-shoot quick! Oh, Kaea, do you want to come along?" Matsuda asks me, with those wide hopeful eyes he gets whenever he wants company for when Misa's busy. It's not how I picture spending time with him, but it'll do…I guess.

"No. I don't wanna go with Miss-I'm-gonna-be-a-washed-out-idol-in-six-months. She's not worth my time and effort." His face falls, and it makes me feel a little happy that he's disappointed. But then again, I'm never happy at the times he is.

"Oh…okay. Sorry, Kaea." He left with Miss-wash-out-idol and I stared at the door, feeling the long years of being cold and rude and nasty catch up with me.

"Do you have feelings for Matsuda?" That annoying monotone voice asked me, and I glared over my shoulder. L just smirked at me, his thumb in his mouth. He knew that I liked Matsuda a little, and would tease me about it in all shapes and forms when people were around. He only used Matsuda's name when it was just us.

"Oh, shut up! You obese panda!" I snapped. I wasn't in the mood to deal with this, and it wasn't PMS. No, it was something entirely different.

"I won't get fat since I burn calories with deductions and sitting the way I do."

"Whatever, I don't care."

"Everyone will be waking up soon. Light is here, and Mr. Yagami is at his home. Mr. Mogi is here as well. Amane is currently with Mr. Matsuda, and—"

"—Shut up already! I know where everyone is!" I am so fed up with the obese panda.

"You didn't let me finish. I was about to say that there are going to be two criminals joining us as well. They should be here shortly."

Great…more people to annoy me. They'll only get yelled at—courtesy of me—and then yell at me for yelling at them.

FF—to just before Matsuda signals

"Now here's what we'll do—" L was telling us of the plan to infiltrate Yotsuba when Watari's W appeared on the screen.

"L, I've just received a signal from Matsuda's belt."

"Where is he?" L asked, dreading the answer.

"The signal seems to have come from inside the Yotsuba group's main office." Whoa, Matsuda was in the main office of Yotsuba, home of the third Kira?

"Well, we'll have to rethink our strategy. Matsuda, you idiot." L said, turning away from the screen. He looked at me, warning me far ahead of time not to go after Matsuda. And I was pretty sure Matsuda would be fine, considering L's brain was already thinking of how to rescue him.

I was surprised at myself for being worried. I mean, none of us had been put in this situation before; one of literal life-and-death.

Matsuda's POV

'Man, I am such an idiot. This is what I get for trying to prove myself. When will I learn?'

The two Yotsuba employees who had discovered me were still watching me. One has lighter hair and his glare was a little more relaxed—but still uptight—than his partner. The other guy has black hair and very wide, nervous and frightened eyes.

Then my phone rang…jolting all of us into life. The guy with the lighter hair said that I could answer my phone, as long as I held it in a way so that they could listen.

"Yo, Matsui!"

"O-oh, hey, Asahi!" (If it's not like the exact conversation, then oh, well.)

"Doesn't sound like you're outside, don't tell me you're home already?"

"Y-yeah." What is Ryuzaki planning? Why's he calling?

"You alone?"

"Yeah." No.

"Hey, you wanna go out drinking tonight?" What? What the heck is he talking about?

"Uh, not tonight."

"What's the matter? Is your wallet…in trouble again?" Oh! He was trying to determine where I was and in how dire a situation it was.

"Oh, yeah! Big trouble…with money!" Hopefully he'd be able to help me. I wonder how much trouble I'd cost the investigation. Knowing my history of not doing anything very useful…a lot.

"Maybe next time then." Click. And…I was alone again.

Kaea's POV

Yotsuba's probably going to kill him now that he's discovered their little secret. Though it seems as though L has a better idea. He's ordering people around like there's no tomorrow. He told Light to call Misa and then…Matsuda happened to call her. But…if Yotsuba has him now…why is he able to call? He must've lied to them.

Anyway, apparently Misa's going to be talking to those Death Meeting members, to get some commercial thing. But I'm still worried. Worried that the one person who came into my life would die because I was being too stubborn to go with him.

"Do not worry, Kaea. Matsuda will be all right. Ryuzaki will make sure of that." Watari said to me, and it seemed like he was trying to determine whether or not I'd go to Yotsuba myself and kill the men who had Matsuda.

"Yeah, maybe. But if he doesn't, then I'll just have to make him. I do have a few things on him."

"You aren't thinking of black-mailing Ryuzaki, are you?"

"If it comes to that."

"But do not forget that Ryuzaki knows about your family history. And if it came to light that you secretly support Kira, then you'll be forced to leave here, or be locked up. Do you want that?"

"Shut it. I don't have to answer you." I snapped, sounding harsher than what I meant to sound like.

Yeah, I've had a pretty suckish life. My father was a drunk, and when he got drunk, he was hell to be around. Most people don't care when a man beats his wife, since it's typical. But he used to beat me, too. He would get the police called on him practically every day, and they'd usually haul him off to the country jail to sober up. They'd always ask my mother if she wanted to press charges against him, but she never did. She was spineless and never tried to give me a better childhood. Even when he cut me with a broken beer bottle…she didn't do anything. The scar is fairly wide, three inches below my collarbone.

But he got his justice eventually. He was killed in prison after he got arrested for assault with a deadly weapon. It was soon after Kira first appeared on the scene.

I thanked Kira so many times when I was alone, but my mother kept crying about how she was going to live now that her husband was dead. So I decided to leave now that I didn't have to worry about getting hurt. That's when I met Misa. And how I met Matsuda.

I guess I'm not the nicest of girls. I'll do whatever it takes to get what I want. It's kind of ironic since I idolize police officers. They always showed me kindness. My life is the streets, and I always say that if I'm meant to die, then so be it. I'm not easily shoved around, and not many people are able to do that.

L is one of the only few people who can sway me, but the other person who could do that is Touta Matsuda. He's made me become a little less cynical and harsh.

We got set up, our positions were secured. There was a party upstairs, and I knew Matsuda was somewhere in that room. Along with all the Death Meeting members, Misa and some girls from the modeling agency. My hands were shaking, not usually my style. Hopefully this would be over soon.

"…Taro Matsui show!" Matsuda's voice came wafting down, and my throat caught at the sound. Men were telling him to get down from the ledge, and then he fell. Even though his cry wasn't for real, it made me stand and very nearly rush to where Mogi and Mr. Yagami stood.

Matsuda slid down the mattress, and I couldn't contain myself any longer. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me. I never really cried, but I was now. His body was tense at first—surprised—but he finally came around and started to stroke my blond hair. He kept stroking it to calm me down, but I guess that my cries were enough to inform him on how I felt.

Because I then felt my hair settle around my face, and then I smiled.

"Matsuda, you idiot. Do you realize how worried I was?" He chuckled, and then sighed. His breath washed over my face, making my heart race just a little faster.

"Yeah, I know I did. But you didn't show it, did you?"

"No, but I almost did."

"Well, I guess I won't be able to be Misa-Misa's manager anymore, huh?"
"No, Matsuda. This was very foolish of you." Mr. Yagami said to Matsuda, scolding him even now. But I guess Matsuda didn't mind anymore.

"Sorry, chief. Hey," He whispered to me. "Do you wanna go on a date tomorrow—er, I mean—today?" Normally, I'd smack him or snap at him to leave me alone. Well, not anymore.

"Sure." I look into his eyes, dark meeting green, and close my eyes. He leans down to me, and when our lips touched…I could've sworn I died. But no, I was alive and with the sweetest screw-up of an officer.

Hey, that little accident with Yotsuba gave me the greatest guy ever. And I never did tell you who I most admired out of all the officers I've ever met. But I guess that answer is a little obvious now. The police officer I most admire is my boyfriend: Touta Matsuda.