Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any other HP people or places or things…basically the noun definition. Also, the plot really isn't mine either…I got it from a Naruto comic and I thought it would also be funny in this scenario…hope it's true! Also, some of the lines are exactly like the comics, so I don't take credit for those lines if we're going to get this disclaimerish about it.
Author Notes: None for once…OH! I'm sorry my muse has died…I was sick and what-not so my muse decided to vactionate somewhere I don't recall…Also, I guess I have to put that Harry has a ice cream fetish…and isn't straight, which you will probably figure out…and Sirius is not dead.
Why Draco?
It was the eighteenth year after the birth of the 'Boy-Who-Lived' and one year after the defeat of the one and only Lord Voldemort. Said boy was sitting at the bar of an ice-cream parlor with his friend, Neville Longbottom, eating bowl after bowl of ice cream.
It was a short break in talking and more eating of ice cream by Mr. Potter when Neville finally got the nerve to ask his friend the question that had been bugging him. "Hey Harry?" the brunette asked.
Harry turned to Neville and swallowed his spoonful of ice cream. "Hmm?"
Neville stared at his ice cream and took a deep breath. "Of all guys…why did you choose Draco?" Harry stared at him and Neville blushed. "I'm sorry…you don't have to answer."
"No, it's alright…" Harry said and looked into the distant while he took another spoonful of ice cream. "Well…I suppose mainly…" he bit his lip then smiled. "sex."
Neville choked on his ice cream, which he just tried to swallow, and stared at Harry. "Okay, let's change the subject…" Neville said when he finally got his coughing under control.
"Oh no, this is fun!" Harry said with a huge grin. "Why? Who do you think would be a better choice then Draco?"
Neville looked at him then at the wall. "Hmm…Okay, how about Ron?"
Harry raised his eyebrow. "You're kidding right?" He turned to the waiter. "Another one please?"
The waiter nodded. "Same as the others?"
"Yes please." The waiter disappeared to the ice cream section. Harry turned back to Neville. "Done thinking that one over?"
"Yeah…I sort of forgot how he has that thing about poofs." Neville said. "But he definitely seems to be getting better."
"Yeah, since me and Draco got together. Anyone else?" Harry asked and dived into the ice cream laid in front of him.
"Ah…Seamus?" Neville asked and cringed when Harry got into his face.
"For your sake, that'd better been a joke." Harry said in a low voice then went back to his seat.
Neville looked at him. "Oh, come on! He can't possible be that bad!"
Harry closed his eyes and looked in pain. "He's loud, obnoxious with an ego the size of the Big Ben!"
"Sounds familiar…" Neville muttered.
"Shut up. I'm not any of those things." Harry said proudly and took a huge bite of ice cream.
Neville rolled his eyes. "I wasn't talking about you…"
"Then who?"
"Draco."
"Oh…" Harry said and looked thoughtful as he spooned another bite of ice cream into his mouth. "Well, Draco's gotten better."
"If you say so…okay, you can't get any easier then Zabini." Neville said. There was a silence that settled over them until Harry burst out laughing. "WHAT?"
Harry stopped laughing and wiped away the tears that gathered in his eyes. "Dude…I could get more done dating my hand!"
"He can't possibly be that lazy!" Harry raised his eyebrow at Neville. "On second thought…" There was a silence. "Okay, I guess that's everyone…"
"You're forgetting some." Harry said and ate another spoonful of ice cream.
"Really?" Neville asked. "Who?"
"Severus." Harry announced and laughed evilly at the look he got.
"SNAPE!" Neville shouted. "You can't be serious!"
"He's not that bad…and speaking of serious…he's probably not bad either…sadly he's already taken…lucky Remus…though he probably only knows doggy style…" Harry said, thinking out loud.
Neville looked disgusted. "I will pretend I didn't hear that…but still, please explain this Snape thing to me…"
"Well I know that Snape has more then enough experience to be fun and probably wouldn't mind it rough…"
"Okay, so besides being a homicidal maniac…" Neville asked looking at Harry.
Harry shuddered. "Could you imagine all the grease between the sheets…I would slip out of bed every time we went to do something…"
Neville held out his hands in surrender. "Alright, I get it…but…still…why Draco?"
"Well…" Harry started and smiled dreamily. "He does fulfill all my needs…"
Neville raised his eyebrow. "Really…how?" After that was said, he looked about ready to smack himself.
"Hey, moron, you done yet?" a voice said from behind them. Neville and Harry turned to look at a very hott blonde. Harry turned his head to the side and Draco's and Neville's gaze followed to look at a very high pile of ice cream dishes. Draco sighed and pulled out his wallet and set done a bunch of coins. "All done now?"
"Yupe! All done!" Harry said with a very cute smile.
Draco rolled his eyes and grabbed Harry's hand. "Then let's go…"
As Draco dragged Harry towards the door, Harry turned to Neville and whispered behind his hand, "See…plus the sex is great too!"
When they got close to the door, Draco turned to Harry. "What were you two school girls talking about?"
"What a shitty boyfriend you are." Harry replied seriously and walked out the door with Draco.
As they left, Neville watched them and thought wistfully, 'Where can I get a Draco?'