Hmm..still working on this. Should I continue to the 1rst chapter? Anyways this is my first published story. ;) Be nice and review if you'd like.
Jake. Jacob Black. My Jacob? ....No.
I was going to have to be with him for life - no matter what happened, and frankly, I felt a tiny bit uneasy about it. Nevertheless, what say did I have on this? He chose me, thus I was chosen; neither he nor I could do anything about it.
I know he had cared for me as a baby, became my playmate during my childhood and now Jake was the best friend every teenager needed, but he wanted to be more than that... And he won't be that person to me until far, far into the future, if ever. Mainly because I was truly unsure if he could be the figure he so cherished to be: my boyfriend, my husband, and – I shudder to think it, no matter how attractive he is – my lover. That intensified my anxiety and uneasiness ever more.
I don't think I'll ever be ready for him. I don't think my love will ever be enough for him, and he'd probably figure it out eventually. I do love Jacob - he's sweet, caring, charming, and most of all loving, but that was the imprinting crap talking, not me. How could I love someone who only loved me because of some wolfy claim? Especially when that claim was through nature, like an instinct, and not what he really thought.
If Jacob had never imprinted on me... He would have loved my mother, just as he did. He would have killed me, if those few short seconds of my memory were correct. That had to make things a bit more awkward. How could I love someone who at one point loved my own mother? Wasn't he planning to kill just a few seconds after I was born?
Loving someone who wanted me dead, then fell hopelessly 'in love' with me because Mother Nature told him to seemed impossible. Improbable. I could never understand it, but it made perfect sense to Jake.
-Renesmee