Author's Note: This is ridiculous, really, but I couldn't resist. I blame Martina McBride and my love of The Grinch. Also, Eva, who is my own little creation.
I do not own How The Grinch Stole Christmas, that's all Dr. Seuss. I use some quotes directly from the book, as well as some lyrics from the cartoon version. Obviously they are not my words or lyrics and I'm using them for entertainment value. No infringement is intended.
This story falls in the same universe (which I'm now calling my Dr. Seuss Verse) as 98 and 3/4 Percent Guaranteed. You don't need to read that to understand this though.
Snow drifted lazily to the ground outside the Mills mansion, creating a scene of peaceful tranquility that flowed inside, where Emma and Regina sat in front of a roaring fire, enjoying the quiet of the evening before Christmas.
But all too soon, the tranquility was shattered.
"Mommy! Momma! It's time! It's time!"
A little blur with riotous dark curls came flying into the room, flinging herself on top of them both.
"Oof! Slow down, Bug." Emma chastised, as she pulled the little girl into her arms.
"But Momma, it's time!" The little one huffed, out of breath from her running. "See, I'm all clean!" She hopped back up and did a spin around.
"Clean you may be, Eva Marie Mills, but that doesn't mean you can run around like a hooligan."
"Sorry, Mommy." Eva murmured, instantly turning on the puppy dog eyes that she'd gotten from Henry and Emma. "But… it's time. Henry said he's ready! And I'm in my 'jammies. And I brushed my teeth!"
"She did. I can vouch." Henry called from the doorway. "So are you two coming or not?"
"Well, when you put it that way…" Emma scooped Eva up in her arms, then shifted until she was clinging to her back. Tiny pajamed feet kicked in excitement.
"C'mon, Mommy!"
"Yeah, Mommy," Henry grinned, "we can't do it without you."
Regina harrumphed, but stood from the couch and followed the rest of the group upstairs.
"Alright. Go get ready. I'll be right there." Emma said as she knelt down so Eva could slide off her back. Eva grabbed Regina's hand and tugged her into the bedroom.
"C'mon, c'mon."
Regina couldn't stop her smile at Eva's excitement. "What's the hurry, Eva, my love?"
Eva's dark eyes went impossibly wide. "It's almost bedtime, Mommy! I've gotta be asleep or else Santa won't come!"
"Is that so?" Regina drawled, picking her daughter up and putting her onto the bed. "Well then, perhaps we should skip this and send you right to bed."
Eva gasped in horror, her tiny face scrunching. "No, Mommy, we can't!"
"Oh, darling," Regina leaned forward, taking Eva's cheeks in her hands and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, "I was only teasing you. Of course we can't skip this."
The joyful smile quickly came back and grew even wider when Emma entered the room, followed by Henry, both of them carrying the items they'd need.
"Alright," Henry smiled as he climbed onto the bed beside Eva, "you ready?"
"Yes!" Eva exclaimed with a laugh.
He winked at her, then waited for Emma and Regina to get settled before he opened the book he was holding and began reading.
"Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot... But the Grinch, who lived just North of Who-ville,"
"Did NOT!" Eva giggled.
Henry continued reading to Eva's delight. "The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small."
As soon as he finished those words, Eva looked expectantly at her mother. Emma grinned as she situated her fingers over the strings on the guitar she was holding and began to play a familiar tune. Eva clapped and laughed, but then quickly fell silent as Emma began to sing.
"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch.
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel."
Emma played a riff on the guitar as Regina watched her with a smile on her face. The first time Regina had heard Emma sing, she'd been amazed at how good the sheriff was and at how beautiful her voice was. Even though it was silly song and Emma was purposely making her voice deeper to please Eva, she was still struck by the beauty as she listened.
"But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos."
Regina sighed as Henry continued to read for Eva. Emma slid closer to her, bumping their shoulders together.
"Remind me again why I have to be the Grinch?" Regina huffed.
Emma laughed softly. "Because I'm singing and Henry's reading the rest of the story. And because you can't resist that smile on your daughter's face."
Regina wanted to protest, but her part had arrived. "And they're hanging their stockings!"
"He snarled with a sneer." Eva called out before Henry had a chance to, her eyes shining with delight as she looked at Regina.
Regina dropped her voice even lower and added a snarl to it. It was a voice that had struck fear into the hearts of thousands. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
But it thrilled Eva to no end as she continued reciting the story from memory. "Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,"
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
Eva dissolved in giggles. Emma blew Regina a kiss before she played and sang the next verse.
"You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch.
I wouldn't touch you with a
Thirty-nine and a half foot pole."
"I hate this tradition." Regina muttered as Henry continued to read.
"Liar." Emma mouthed. As they continued on with their reading, Emma could see the smile Regina was trying to hide.
"All I need is a reindeer..."
"The Grinch looked around. But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the old Grinch?"
"No!" Eva shouted.
"No." Henry laughed. "The Grinch simply said,"
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
"So he called his dog,"
"Max!" Eva shouted again. She was completely enamored with the dog in both the book and the movie, and with dogs in general. The only thing she had asked Santa for that year was a dog, much to Regina's chagrin.
"Then he took some red thread and he tied a big horn on top of his head."
"You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Grinch.
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile." Emma wiggled her eyebrows and made faces as she sang and Eva happily joined in on the seasick crocodile line.
Henry kept reading.
"And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who! Little Eva-Lou Who, who was not more than two."
"Henry! It's Cindy-Lou, not Eva-Lou. And anyways, I's not two."
"No, I guess you aren't, Princess." Henry laughed at the almost five year old, bumping their foreheads together. "You never let me get away with changing anything."
"That's 'cause it's already perfect!" Eva defended.
"What is it with this family and Dr. Seuss books?" Regina muttered, rolling her eyes.
"You know you love it." Emma teased softly. Regina refused to respond.
Henry kept reading, with Eva taking on the part of Cindy-Lou, not even needing to look at the book because she had it memorized. Emma continued to work the song in as Henry described the dastardly deeds the Grinch was going.
"Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit, he rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!"
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!"
"He was grinch-ish-ly humming."
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! Their mouths will hang open a minute or two, then all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!" Regina made a great show of saying those lines, thrilling Eva as she did. "That's a noise,"
"Grinned the Grinch."
"That I simply must hear!"
"So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low. Then it started to grow..."
Emma began to softly play the guitar again, underscoring Henry's narration. "But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry! It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!"
"Fahoo fores dahoo dores
Welcome Christmas come this way
Fahoo fores dahoo dores
Welcome Christmas, Christmas day"
Emma sang with Henry and Eva joining in too. Their voices blended together, mimicking the Whos. It was probably the most beautiful thing Regina had ever heard.
"He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!"
"IT CAME!" Eva jumped up and bounced on the bed for a moment before flouncing back down next to Henry.
"Somehow or other, it came just the same! And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling."
"How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
"And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!"
"Maybe Christmas,"
"He thought,"
"Doesn't come from a store." Here Regina paused, taking in the sight of Henry and Eva cuddled together with Emma on the edge of the bed, her curls as unruly as their daughter's, her fingers gently moving across guitar strings while she hummed softly. "Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!" Her voice caught just the tiniest bit on the last words, but it seemed only Emma noticed, as Henry and Eva continued to be engrossed in the story.
"I love you." Emma mouthed the words and Regina nodded, blinking back tears.
"And I you."
"And he... HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the roast beast!" Eva finished with a flourish to which Emma tore her gaze from Regina and clapped while Henry and Eva bowed.
"Again, again!" Eva pronounced as she hopped up and began to jump on the bed.
"Uh, uh, Eva-Lou Who." Emma set the guitar aside, grabbing her daughter around the waist and tickling her. "It's to bed with you! Otherwise, Santy Claus won't come."
Eva wiggled out of her mother's embrace and turned her puppy dog eyes on Henry. "Please, Henry? Pleeeeease?"
"Sorry, Princess." Henry smiled as he climbed out of bed, kissing her forehead. "But I want Santa to come tonight, so I'm going to bed."
"And wasn't it you, Little One, who was telling me before we began that we had to finish in time for you to get to sleep?" Regina asked, pulling her daughter onto her lap.
"Yeah." Eva admitted finally.
"Yeah." Emma echoed. "So, to bed."
Eva climbed under the covers and snuggled down as Emma tucked them in around her. "Merry Christmas, Eva Bug. I love you."
"Love you too, Momma." Eva said, even as a yawn overtook her.
"Goodnight, my love. Merry Christmas." Regina whispered as she kissed her goodnight.
"Goodnight, Mommy. You're the bestest Grinch ever." Eva proclaimed as sleep rose up to claim her.
Regina watched her for a few minutes, taking in the gentle rise and fall of her chest, the way her curls fanned out on her pillow and her dark lashes fluttered ever so slightly with dreams, before she finally left the room.
"See?" Emma said from her place in the doorway to their bedroom. "She thinks you're the bestest Grinch ever. How could that be anything other than awesome?"
Regina rolled her eyes but walked into Emma's arms, enjoying the embrace. "Sometimes I wonder what's worse – the Evil Queen or the Grinch?"
Emma lifted her chin up to stare into her dark eyes. "You know the answer to that. And you know that it's vastly, vastly different."
"I know. And I'm sorry. I guess I'm just feeling extra Grinchy tonight. I -"
Emma cut her off by kissing her soundly. "Come on, Grinchy Claus," she said, tugging on Regina's hand when they broke away, "we've gotta go pick up old Max."
"That's exactly the name she'll pick, isn't it?" Regina sighed as she followed Emma down the stairs.
"Of course it is. I mean, the dog looks just like him, anyway." Emma thought of the dog that David had shown her at the shelter and how he had looked almost identical to the dog that represented Max in the movie. She knew instantly that they had to adopt it for Eva.
"I still can't believe I let you talk me into this, Emma. A dog?"
"When she opens that box tomorrow, her face'll make it all worth while. Trust me." Emma grinned, kissing Regina's knuckles.
"I do. With all my heart."
And as they made their way through the snowy streets to pick up the dog for their daughter, Regina knew that she was more like the Grinch than anyone would ever realize. Because her heart, too, had grown three sizes – one for each of the most important people in her life.
They had saved her and taught her to love again. They'd shown her, through the years, the true meaning of Christmas – the love and the laughter and the family and the silly traditions, like reading The Grinch together as a family. And that – well, that didn't just mean a little bit more. That meant everything.