Stowaway
Rated: PG
Category: Gen, Crew, Humor, Mal Focus.
Spoilers: None. Entire crew present.
Summary: Malcolm Reynolds Sure Has A Soft Spot For Strays.
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For Dirty Cat...
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Malcolm Reynolds rolled over in his bunk very carefully. He didn't want to disturb the slumbering form next to him. As he performed his intricate withdrawal of limbs from beneath a sleeping head, he shook his own head in disbelief. How had it come to this?
XXX
It had all started with a stowaway. Serenity seemed to have a chronic problem with those.
Mal was at breakfast one morning when the first evidence of a stray turned up. Of course, the problem wasn't immediately apparent to him. The resident scapegoat took the blame.
"Simon!"
Dr. Tam poked his head around the doorframe. "Yes?"
"I thought you were going to control your sister."
Simon sighed. "What's she done now?"
Mal snorted a laugh. "Apparently she thought it'd be fun to have art class on the counter here with that powdered milk we picked up on Beaumonde. Be almost funny if it weren't so costly."
Simon frowned as he absorbed the sight. Off white powder covered a section of the kitchen counter, and the tin that had previously held the milk was turned on its side.
"I'm sorry. I'll speak to her."
"You best do more than that, son. If Jayne had found this, he'd be out for blood. You get her under wraps, Doc, or we're gonna have to change some things real fast."
Simon nodded. "I will."
"Good. Now, let's clean this up before it makes Jayne cry. You know how a growin' boy likes his milk."
"Thanks, Mal."
Mal waved one hand in the air. "Yeah, yeah."
The mess was cleaned up in no time, and the two men discovered it wasn't as bad as it had seemed at first. Most of the powder was still in the tin, so they kept their morning adventure to themselves. Tins were easily righted, after all, and no one was the wiser.
The day went on in peace.
At least until just after lunch.
XXX
Kaylee's scream resounded through the ship, and it got the full attention of everyone on board.
Jayne reached the engine room first and found Kaylee crouched down beside the engine. She didn't look overly terrified, however, and Jayne was confused.
"What's all the yellin' about?"
Kaylee jumped up, nearly smacking her head on the engine casing as she did so, and tried to explain as Zoe, Mal, Simon, and Shepherd Book arrived on the scene.
"Oh. Sorry. Didn't mean to startle everybody. Thought I saw somethin'. Down there, behind the engine. Went real fast."
Mal frowned. "Kaylee, you sayin' there's something livin' in my engine?"
Kaylee grinned. "Well, Cap'n, I don't see nothin' now. I suppose I might've imagined it."
Inara and River floated into the room as Kaylee was speaking. The companion said nothing, but young River grinned and spoke a single word.
"Soulmate."
Then she turned and disappeared, leaving the rest of the group as confounded as usual. Jayne and Mal shook their heads, while Zoe and Book just followed the girl with sympathetic eyes. Simon turned to go after his sister when the intercom crackled to life.
It was Wash.
"Hey. We get the crisis all sorted out down there?"
Zoe answered him. "Everything's fine. Just fly the ship, honey."
"Can do."
Wash cut the connection, and the group broke up now that the commotion was over, but Mal lagged behind to speak with Kaylee.
"Ok, now, Kaylee. You keep your eyes and ears open. Any more funny things goin' on, you give a call. But no more screamin' like that if you can help it, ok?"
Kaylee nodded. "No problem, Cap'n."
"Good."
Mal turned and left, leaving Kaylee alone with her precious engine.
XXX
No further oddities occurred and nearly everyone forgot about Kaylee's vision and the milk incident over the next week.
Once, Shepherd Book could've sworn that a small protein bar disappeared from his bunk, but he wasn't certain, so he ignored what was probably a petty theft.
Twice, Inara got the impression she was being followed, but when she turned and saw no one, she chalked it up to nerves.
But everyone else returned to life as usual.
No one seemed to notice that River was smiling a lot.
An awful lot.
XXX
It wasn't until Kaylee came bouncing into the mess eight days later that folks (most especially Mal) recalled her adventure and began to wonder about the mechanic's mental health.
Kaylee was even more cheerful than usual, but it was a quiet giddiness, and that worried the captain. He had no doubt that his engineer was up to something.
"So, Kaylee," greeted Mal. "How're things?"
Kaylee grinned. "Oh, just fine, Captain."
Mal nodded. 'Yep, definitely up to no good,' he thought. "You sure?" he said aloud.
"Yep. Perfectly shiny."
"And do you suppose you could enlighten the rest of us on the reason for your cheerfulness?"
Kaylee looked down at her plate. "Oh, no reason, Cap'n. Just in a good mood, is all."
Mal didn't believe Kaylee as far as he could throw her, but he let it go for the moment. He really had no choice, as Jayne barged into the conversation with the grace of an elephant.
"Heck, Mal, she's probably just riled up over our impendin' stop. You know there's all those pretty boys on Paquin." Jayne waggled his eyebrows at Kaylee, and she blushed. Zoe elbowed Jayne hard from her place next to him.
"Shut up, Jayne. Leave the girl alone," she grunted.
Jayne grumbled something under his breath and fell to his meal.
The rest of the crew did the same, and conversation took to its usual topics of jobs, money, and crude humor easily.
But Mal watched Kaylee closely, and when dinner was over, he followed her to the engine room as soon as decorum allowed.
When he reached the mechanic's lair, he stopped for a moment and merely stared at the door for a few seconds. He blinked twice, then cocked his head to one side in thought. Kaylee rarely shut the door, and Mal was now certain that strange things were afoot. He considered giving Kaylee her privacy, but only for a minute. If there was something going on with his mechanic, he needed to know about it.
Mal yanked open the door without knocking, and what met him was nothing he'd have ever expected.
A loud yowl rent the air. It sounded like a cross between a child's cry and a bestial howl, and Mal's ears recognized it instantly from his childhood.
It was the scream of an angry cat.
It was followed by the shout of an angry captain.
Somewhere, in the other end of the ship, River Tam laughed out loud as Mal's voice boomed.
"Kaylee!"
Kaylee ignored Mal and rushed to the back of the engine room.
"Now, what'd you hafta go and do that for, Captain? You scared her. Now she ain't never gonna come on outta there."
Mal crossed his arms and stared his mechanic down.
"I take it this is our phantom?"
His voice dripped with sarcasm, and Kaylee shrunk back from him ever so slightly.
"Oh, Cap'n. She don't mean no harm. She's sweet."
Mal continued to stare at Kaylee. He had no more words to say, but she seemed to have enough for both of them.
"She's real tame. See?"
Kaylee managed to grab a furry bundle out from under the engine, and she held it out in front of her for Mal's inspection.
The captain was not impressed. Kaylee held what looked to be an ordinary barn cat, but it had clearly seen better days. It was old and scruffy around the edges. Its black fur was rough and it had a few patches of skin that had no hair at all. It was most definitely not an attractive animal.
Mal moved his mouth in an attempt at speech, but he failed to articulate anything. Kaylee, however, just kept on going.
"Isn't she nice, Cap'n? I know she's not much to look at right now, but think of all she's been through. She just needs a little food and lovin' and…"
"No, Kaylee," interrupted Mal.
"But Cap'n…"
"I said no, Kaylee."
"But I'll take good care of her. She won't be no trouble at all."
"For the last time, Kaylee, I said no."
"But…"
"It's another mouth to feed."
"I'll share."
"Sometimes we ain't got enough to share."
"We'll be fine, Cap'n."
"I won't have a cat on my boat."
"But they're good luck on ships," argued Kaylee.
"Not to me they ain't. Ain't never cared much for cats."
"She'll keep rats away."
"We ain't got rats, Kaylee."
"But we might get some."
"Yeah, and I might be crowned emperor of the 'verse. I said no, and that's final."
Kaylee blinked a few times and put on her best pouting face, but she was wasting her time.
"You'll put that beast dirtside at our next stop or I'll space it myself. Dong ma?"
Kaylee nodded, but she didn't quite give up.
"But what'll she do for food, Cap'n?"
"It'll manage just fine. Probably stowaway on some other ship, and that's just fine by me. I don't rightly care what happens to it, as long as it don't stay here."
Kaylee looked like she was about to cry, but she nodded bravely. "Fine."
"Good."
Mal nodded and turned to leave, then turned back. Kaylee was cuddling the mangy beast when Mal's voice found her again.
"Oh, and get that thing outta my engine room. Put it in your bunk and keep it outta the way or I'll let Jayne shoot it."
Kaylee silently glared at Mal for a full thirty seconds, but finally spoke in a miserable, angry voice. "Aye, aye, Captain."
Mal hesitated at her tone, but only for a second. Then he stormed off. He was not having a cat on his boat, and that was final. Nothing Kaylee could say or do could change that.
XXX
Two nights later, long after the entire crew knew about Kaylee's friend, she couldn't find it. She'd locked it in her bunk, like she'd been told, but it was nowhere to be found. Serenity was turning in, however, and Kaylee knew that a full-blown search would annoy everyone (not to mention let Mal know the cat had escaped), so she figured she'd find the animal in the morning. After all, the little beast had managed to get by fine and stay out of sight for a week. It could do so again. Kaylee wasn't worried. She fell asleep without effort.
She was right not to worry.
Her little friend was street-wise. This wasn't its first rodeo.
XXX
As Mal pushed open the access hatch to his room that night, he had nothing but sleep on his mind. It had been a long day, and his annoyance meter was pushing its limits. He loved Serenity, and he loved his crew, but there were days when even he got a little space-sick and stir-crazy and downright murderous towards the only eight people he ever saw. It was enough to drive a man mad.
And mad he suddenly was.
Very.
He'd stayed up later than nearly everyone on board, and certainly much later than Kaylee.
And now he had to deal with her problem.
Which made it his problem.
And his problem was actively trying to kill him, or at least trip him pretty damn well.
"Shoo! Get outta my way, you gorram cat!" Mal cursed under his breath as he stepped across the floor, trying not to crush the feline as it rubbed constantly on his ankles, his knees, and anything else it could reach. Once, the captain intentionally pushed the cat roughly out of his way with the toe of one boot, and the beast had the audacity to hiss at the offending appendage and then turn to give Mal one vicious glare.
"Well," said Mal aloud, "I have to admit I sorta like that. Wouldn't have had no respect for you if you'd've just taken that."
The cat looked up at Mal and glared some more. Then it haughtily sauntered over to Mal's bed, jumped up onto it, and laid down dead center. Mal laughed.
"Oh, no, little cat! That ain't gonna happen! You best be moving along, friend. I ain't much in the mood for sharing."
The cat was not impressed.
It yawned.
Mal grinned as he undressed and pulled on the loose pants he usually slept in. Then he gave the cat a meaningful look.
The cat yawned again.
Mal laughed again. He was becoming part of a pattern and he didn't even realize it. Nor did he notice he was no longer grumpy.
"No, seriously, vermin. Get on outta here before I throw you out. I ought to go wake little Kaylee and make her deal with you. Too bad I'm too nice for that, huh? Now, go on, get."
Mal popped the cat gently on the rump, but it merely shifted its weight and moved to one side of the bed.
Mal sighed.
He told himself he was just too tired to deal with this. He told himself he was just being nice to Kaylee. He told himself it wasn't odd at all that he'd just had a conversation with an animal he claimed to loathe.
But deep down, he was beaten, and he knew it.
"Alright, gorram it. Fine. But just for tonight."
The cat yawned.
Mal laughed.
Then they both slept.
Together.
Easily.
XXX
The following night, this routine was repeated, with the same results.
River's smile broadened, but no one else was the wiser about Mal's new bunkmate.
Kaylee didn't want to admit the cat was missing, so she never asked if Mal had seen it, and he was having far too much fun watching her covertly look for it to let her in on the animal's whereabouts.
But two nights later, Mal was just as in the dark as Kaylee. His companion was nowhere to be found when he turned in. That night, the cat made its home with Simon, which proved to be very advantageous indeed.
Simon, being Simon, examined the cat as best he could. He determined that the animal had lived on a central planet, at least for a while, and had been well-cared for, as it had been sterilized. Since veterinary care was only available on the so-called civilized worlds, Kaylee's little cat had certainly journeyed a long way. He also noted with interest that it really seemed to be in relative good health, despite the few patches of missing fur and its general unkempt look.
He announced his findings at breakfast the next day and told Kaylee to come collect her pet from his room when she could.
But when Kaylee dropped by to pick up the cat, it was gone again.
"Damn that cat!" cursed Kaylee. "I'm beginnin' to think the cap'n's right. I'm not gonna feel too bad for turnin' her out when we stop. She's nothin' but a heap of trouble!"
Simon was concerned. "You really think he'll make you go through with it, Kaylee?"
Kaylee nodded. "He seemed pretty serious. You didn't see 'im, Simon. He was riled up good."
"Still…" mused Simon. "He's taken in strays before."
Kaylee beamed. "Guess that's so, ain't it? You never know. But I wouldn't blame him. She's a passel of worry. You did say she was a she, right?"
"Yes, it's a female."
River took this moment to wander by, and her voice floated to Simon and Kaylee.
"Little girl lost. Found her way."
Simon grinned, not sure if River meant the cat or herself. Kaylee grinned back and nodded her head toward the engine room.
"So, wanna help me look for her, again?"
"Sure."
XXX
Simon and Kaylee never found the cat.
Jayne did.
He'd taken night watch the previous evening, so he was sleeping. When he woke, he was not alone.
"Ah! Jeez! Damn little varmit! Get outta here!" Jayne practically screamed at the feline, who was napping blissfully next to his head, as he roused from slumber. The cat vamoosed, but not before giving the large man a hiss and a nasty flick of the tail.
And so it went.
Over the next few days, every crew member, even Inara, had a run-in with Serenity's new resident.
But none so much as Mal.
Somehow, no matter when he retired, the little cat almost always met Mal in his bunk.
And their conversations remained nearly the same… but there were conversations, and somehow they came easier with time. Mal talked to that little cat like a long lost buddy, not that he'd ever have admitted it.
When the ship finally hit dirt, Zoe lifted an eyebrow in teasing, but no one braved a word when Serenity lifted off with the same number of passengers as before.
XXX
That was nearly a year ago.
Mal laughed to himself as he dressed for his day, still amazed that he'd let the animal stay.
He griped about her constantly, and so did everyone else.
She thieved more than the rest of them combined, and no manner of argument could stop her wicked ways. The crew had learned long ago to keep anything edible locked away. She went missing for days at a time. She wandered the ship and complained loudly at all hours of the night when it suited her. She choose to sleep in the most uncomfortable of places on any human who lent themselves to the job. She sharpened her claws on the couch in the common area, even though Book had made her a lovely scratching post. Nothing was out of bounds to her. No one ever figured out how she got into closed quarters, but they had stopped trying to long ago. It was a fruitless battle. She went where she wanted and she hissed and spat and bit when she was riled.
In short, she was a regular rogue of a cat.
But she was grateful for scraps and did her duties in all the right places, so she fit in just fine on Serenity.
The crew likely wouldn't have tolerated her any other way.
Mal often told her that he understood why she'd left the core, and he meant it. She simply was no more cut from civilized cloth than he was. And while the little cat was equal opportunity in her mischief, her nights were almost exclusively spent with Malcolm Reynolds.
She knew what side her bread was buttered on, and she and the captain had an understanding.
Mal had even begrudgingly named the beast, much to his chagrin.
Several things had been tossed about, and Kaylee still insisted on calling the cat 'Flower', but no one else used that moniker. They used Mal's name for her, and it was the only thing she'd answer to-when she felt like it.
Mal pulled his suspenders over his shoulders and stepped to the ladder that would lead him to his ship. As he reached for the first rung, he scratched his cat's head for a second.
"Now, don't you tell nobody 'bout that, GeeBee. They'll think I'm goin' soft."
The cat nearly nodded, and Mal laughed as he climbed the ladder and started his day.
GeeBee was actually GB, and it was short for GBC, the only thing that crossed Mal's mind when he thought of the now sleek and shiny animal that knew more about him than most humans ever thought to know.
For while Malcolm Reynolds was a formidable warrior, he was no match for a Gorram Black Cat.
XXX
A/N-while the true dedication is above, it would be wrong not to acknowledge the roles of George, Tyler, Camo, Zeplin, and anyone who knows what GBC really stands for in making this story a reality. Thank you, friends. Also, for Nathan…my most sincere condolences.