"You're missing the point. I want to be around forty years from now."
As soon as those words had left his lips, Cristina's mind went into a whirl. Forty years, he said. She hoped- no she knew she would still be a surgeon. A brilliant cardiothoracic surgeon. A world renowned one. With the Harper Avery Award. Maybe she would even be the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital.
But she had never imagined what the other part of her life would look like. Would she be married? Have someone special in her life? Or will she be a lifelong single?
To a lot of people, this would have seemed unhealthy. Not even bothering to think about what her personal life would look like. Yes, it would definitely seem unhealthy, Cristina thought. People would say that she needed a life.
But they didn't understand. She had a life. Her life was surgery. Her life was her dream of becoming a cardiothoracic surgeon. And she was more than willing to spend hours with all the trials and tribulations her dream would bring her.
Yet, as soon as he had uttered those words, Cristina started to imagine the other part of her life. Sh would definitely have all her dreams come true career wise, but now a new dream was forming. A dream she hadn't even bothered to dream about for a while.
Not since Burke.
Owen didn't seem like the kind of person who would come in the way of her dreams. She wouldn't let him. She couldn't let anything distract her. Not in the name of love.
Never again.
But he had looked so open and vulnerable as he had said that. His usual intensity was absent. This was not even like the times when he kissed her. This was different.
And every time he made declarations like that, it took Cristina's breath away.
"You might get tired of me before that." She teased, breaking eye contact and looking at her drink.
"Hmm, maybe in ten years?" Owen teased.
Holy shit, he is still thinking long term, she thought.
"Maybe in a year, or even six months." She replied, looking him briefly in the eye before moving her gaze away.
Owen could tell she was not joking anymore. She was giving him an out or a warning or something.
She looked like she had just declared her truth. Usually, she was so unreadable that it drew him insane.
But now as he looked as her, really looked, he could tell that she had meant what she said. She believed her statement with a conviction she usually had for medicine.
She believes that she will drive me off, Owen thought. And that made his heart hurt. Because he knew that a women like her had to put her ambitions first. They weren't just thoughts, they were her lifeline.
She didn't make people her lifeline. Maybe she had once, but for whatever reason there was no putting down those walls of hers.
Owen knew she was not a robot. Maybe a little robotic but she had reasons behind them. He saw past the fence surrounding her. He saw the way she cared for Meredith. He saw the way Cristina would lend an ear to Meredith yet again, even though Cristina's face would look mocking or uninterested. Because when it came down to it, there was nothing Cristina wouldn't do for Meredith.
He saw the way Cristina's eyes looked hurt after that snide remark Meredith had made about being a "natural", in the OR. He knew it was a dagger to Cristina's heart because it came from Meredith. And for a second, if not longer, Cristina believed her friend. Even though everyone in that room knew that Cristina was the better surgeon.
He saw the way Cristina talked to George or Izzie, not afraid to call them out on their crap when they would start whining. She challenged them intellectually and would not put up with their bullshit.
He saw the way she stood all by herself, telling the Chief what she thought about Dr. Campbell. She was opinionated but more importantly, unafraid. She didn't even need him to back her up.
He saw all these things and could not believe that she thought he would only be around for a year or less.
He wanted forty years. All of them. Each and every second.
He shifted in his seat a little, leaning in closer than he already was. He wanted desperately to reach out and grab her. But he didn't. Now was not the time.
He laid his hand on her knee, gentle but firm. And then he tried his damned best not to slide it upward.
"I won't. I could never get tired of you." He said.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Hunt." She joked.
He saw past that too. She used his last name simply to distance, not to tease.
"I could never get tired of you." He said, as earnestly as he could.
There was a moment of silence between them. They both looked at each other, his hand on her knee, her hand still clasped around her drink. They stayed that way, taking each other in.
"I want to be around forty years from now." He repeated.
She smiled and took a sip of her drink.
All right then, she thought.
So in forty years, she would be a world renowned cardiothoracic surgeon with the Harper Avery Award, maybe even the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital.
With Owen by her side.